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'Marriage only benefits men': Texas UPS driver gets real about why men aren't getting prenups

Who's taking the real risk here?

via Elvert Barnes/Flickr

A UPS driver on his phone.

It’s common to hear about a man who was well off while married but who, after a divorce, is financially struggling and blames his ex-wife and her lawyer for his lot in life. Abby Eckel, a popular content creator who discusses the inequities of domestic labor in relationships, asks why more men don’t get prenuptial agreements.

“Why aren't more men asking for prenups, or why aren't more men asking for postnups if they're under the belief that they will get taken for everything that they have in the event of a divorce?" she asked. “There's a 50% chance that you're gonna get a divorce. Why are you not asking for prenups and post-nups? I genuinely want to know what the reason is if you feel like you have so much to lose in the event of a divorce, why are you not protecting yourself?”

Why aren't men getting prenups?

@abbyeckel

I am genuinely asking. Why dont men ask for a prenuptial agreement before getting married? Lots of men have told me that there is no benefit to them in getting married, and that the risk is far greater in the event of a divorce. That they will be put into financial ruin in the event of a divorce, therefore getting married, simply isn’t worth it for them. So why aren’t more men asking for prenuptial agreements, or even post nuptial agreements, in order to protect themselves from said financial ruin? #divorce #marriage

The video caught the attention of J.R. Minton, a Dallas-area UPS driver and popular TikTok user with four kids and a stay-at-home wife who talks about family life. Minton flipped the script on Eckel’s question by revealing something that many men would have a hard time saying: most men aren’t successful until they get married and have the support of an amazing woman. Therefore, they didn't need a prenup when they got married.

“Men are more likely to be successful if they are married and women are more likely to be successful if they are single,” Minton said, before singing the praises of stay-at-home women.

Stay-at-home moms make a lot of sacrifices

“Whenever a child is born, a woman is typically the person that takes off time to take care of the child, and if there's a stay-at-home parent, most often it's going to be a mom. While some men like to say that that is a privilege for the woman, what it really is is a financial risk that the woman is taking, Minton said. “She is not furthering her career; she is dependent upon another person to be successful so that she can continue to take care of the children she's taking a financial risk for the sake of her family.”

On the other hand, because of the woman’s sacrifice, when she should be in the prime of her career, the man can thrive. He develops connections and skills and gets promotions, while she spends most of her time at home.

 stay at home mom, sahm, laundry, upset woman, pile of clothes A stay-at-home mom can't stand the laundry. via Canva/Photos

A lot of the women in the comments loved Minton’s honesty. “This man needs protection at all costs....his honesty is brutal to men,” one woman wrote. “My husband flat out says that he wouldn't have made it as far in his career as he has without me sacrificing what I have to stay home with our kids,” another added.

Minton wasn’t wrong when he said that men experience a much larger boost in income when they become married than women do. That has a lot to do with the pressures of childbearing that overwhelmingly fall on women. That’s probably why 85% of all married people say they've never signed a prenup, but 56% of those who’ve signed one had a previous marriage.

“So how come men don't want a prenup for their marriage?” Minton concludes his response to Eckel’s question. “Most men don't have very much before they get married. They become successful after the marriage.”

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Modern Families

Woman goes to huge lengths to adopt husband's ex-wife's baby to save him from foster care

She had lived in foster care and didn't want it for the newborn with no name.

via Christie Werts/TikTok and Christie Werts/TikTok

Christie Werts and her son, Levi

Christie and Wesley Werts have taken the idea of a blended family to the next level. When the couple fell in love five years ago and married, they brought together her children, Megan and Vance, and his children, Austin and Dakota.

As of January, the Ohio family has five children after adopting young Levi, 2. Levi is the son of Wesley’s ex-wife, who passed away four days after the child was born. The ex-wife had the boy prematurely, at 33 weeks, and died soon after from drug addiction and complications of COVID-19.

When Levi was born, he was a ward of the state with no first name or birth certificate.

“When I heard about Levi, without hesitation, I said we should take him,” Christie said, according to The Daily Mail, and her reason went far beyond the fact that the child was the half-brother to two of her recently adopted children. “I myself was a foster kid and, although for the most part, I had a great experience, I did not want him going to foster care,” Christie said.

@cjthemom5

Replying to @Journey♥️ Yes, they will always know of her and ill be there for every emotion good or bad. But im also mom, ive been to every game, every doctors appt, sat with them if they needed an ear loved unconditional . I am mom also. #adoption #srorytime #siblings #foryou #loveislove

Before the family knew of Levi’s birth, Christie had a recurring dream about a blue-eyed, blonde-haired boy.

"Before Levi, we had wanted to try to have a child of our own," she told Newsweek. "I'm in my forties, so we knew that we would probably need fertility treatment, so I thought let's just think about it and what will be will be."

The problem was that Levi was in Texas, so the family sold their house and moved to the Lone Star State to go through the arduous adoption process. The situation was further complicated because Levi’s biological father had parental rights even though he had substance abuse problems. The family couldn’t move out of Texas until his rights were legally terminated.

But after a 16-month process, in January 2023, Levi became a legal family member. Christie understands that adopting her husband’s ex-wife’s baby may seem unusual to some people. "It's a lot to process for a lot of people, but honestly, it seems a lot crazier than it was. At the time, it just made sense," she said.

@cjthemom5

Our adoption is official !!! after 17 months!!! #adoption #son #loveyou #ourstory#foryou #fyp

Even though Christie knew in her heart that she must adopt Levi, she wasn’t without reservations. “'If I said I did not [have concerns beforehand], that would not be honest,” she told The Daily Mail. “This was different—I was going to walk into a child I never met and was worried the circumstances would hinder this instant love. But [...] he stole my heart. I also felt this intense need to protect him.”

These days, Levi fits right in with the family, and the rest of the kids are happy to be back to living an everyday life without any caseworkers or inspections.

“He's great, he is the king of the house! We are all very close. He won't understand the journey right now, but someday, I will let him know we fought for him!” Christie said.


This article originally appeared 1 year ago.

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Pop Culture

Clever woman figured out how to get the name and address of the person who stole her credit card

She was totally chill about it, too.

via Absolutely Lauren/TikTok

TikTok user Absolutely Lauren catches an online scammer.

There was a massive jump in credit card fraud in America in 2021 due to the pandemic. According to CNET, fraud involving credit cards jumped 69% from 2020 to 2021, affecting 13 million Americans and costing $9 billion.

In a world where online transactions are part of everyday life, it’s hard to completely protect your information. But, by staying vigilant and monitoring your accounts you can report fraud before it gets out of hand.

A TikTok user by the name of Lauren (@absolutelylauren) from San Diego, California, got a notification that there was a $135 charge on her card at Olaplex’s online store that she hadn’t made. Olaplex sells products that repair excessively damaged hair. Before reporting the charge to her credit card company she asked her family members if they used her card by mistake.

“I don’t wanna shut my card down if it’s just my mom ordering some shampoo,” Lauren said in the video. “Definitely not my two younger brothers, they’ve got good hair but they don’t color it.”

After realizing the charge was fraudulent, most people would have called their credit card company and had their card canceled. But Lauren was curious and wanted to know who stole her information and used it to buy hair care products. So she concocted a plan to get their information. She called Olaplex’s customer service line asking for the name and address of the purchaser to see if it was made by a family member.

"Hey, can you help me with something?” Lauren asked Tanya, the Olaplex customer service agent. “If I can give you the time and date, purchase amount and card number and whatever could you let me know who placed an order?"

Tanya had no problem helping Lauren with her request.

@absolutelylauren

olaplex customer service is top tier 😤 #creditcardscam

“At this point, I’m willingly giving Tanya enough info to steal my card as well — she could have very well taken advantage of me in that moment but she didn’t,” Lauren said. “She comes back — tell me why she gave me the little scammer their full government name and address.”

Tanya revealed that a guy named Jason in a modest suburb in Texas used her card to buy a gift for his wife. “They also did it on Black Friday so at least they got a deal I guess, it was the gift set,” Lauren continued.

Lauren then called her credit card company and shared the information she had on the fraudster. The card company is currently investigating the situation.

One commenter thought that Olaplex wasn’t supposed to share that information with Lauren. “For some reason, I don’t think olaplex was supposed to give that info,” Arae270 said.

“I definitely gave them the option, but I explained that it was an unauthorized purchase, and if the name did not match anyone that I knew that I would just tell them to cancel the order and refund me, I told the girl that they would probably save everyone, a headache!” Lauren replied.

People should use utmost caution before deciding to track down a credit card thief. But kudos to Lauren for being clever enough to track down the person who stole her card information to help the authorities with their investigation. She didn’t put herself in harm's way and if someone follows up on the tip, maybe they can prevent the same thing from happening to someone else.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Joy

Two women at a Texas Denny's realized it was short-staffed so they jumped in and started cooking

'We just looked at each other and it wasn't even a question. We both knew what we had to do.'

Courtesy of Sylvia Arrendondo

Strangers help restaurant serve customers.

We've all been there. Standing in line to be seated at a fairly busy restaurant while your stomach growls in protest. But when two women left a concert one summer evening in 2022 in search of food, they had no idea they'd find themselves taking orders and cooking the food. Sylvia Arrendondo and her mother Idalia Merkel went to a local Denny's in Texas and were seated by another customer before realizing the restaurant was extremely short-staffed. Instead of taking their business elsewhere, they decided to roll up their sleeves and get to work.


Arrendondo wrote about the unique experience on her Facebook page where she explained that only two people were working. One was serving tables and the other was the cook. As for the man that was acting as host and seating new guests, he had no idea what he was doing because he didn't work there. He told Arrendondo and Merkel that his wife used to work at Denny's so she started helping to serve tables and he decided to help get people seated.

woman working in a restaurant kitchen

Idalia Merkel helping cook.

Courtesy of Sylvia Arrendondo

The service industry has been hit hard by the pandemic and the subsequent "great resignation."

Complaints about low wages, poor management, and rude customers that abuse staff members are just a few of the reasons cited by people who have left the industry. It may be surprising for some to learn that the federal minimum wage for tipped employees like servers and bussers is just $2.13 an hour. The rest of the wage is supposed to be made up of tips, which, depending on where you work, may be split at the end of the night between other workers. This act of splitting tips is called "tip pooling" and is calculated by number of hours worked.

Splitting tips after a long day of work dealing with customers who may not have been so kind would understandably make some upset. But it didn't take a deep dive on the treatment of restaurant employees for Arrendondo and the other customers who helped out. They saw two seemingly college-aged kids doing their best to keep the place running and they didn't hesitate to jump in to help, completely unpaid.

When asked why she didn't just leave, Arrendondo said, "We just looked at each other and it wasn't even a question. We both knew what we had to do."

"This was probably the most beautiful act of American unity that I have personally encountered," Arrendondo told Upworthy. She added that the sole paid server would occasionally start to cry before being comforted by the cook, only to return the favor when he would get overwhelmed.

Talk about community.

These two kids had exhausted all of their resources, including calling their manager multiple times. And instead of customers getting angry, demanding better service or walking away, Arredondo and Merkel stepped up. The kindness of this group of strangers will surely stick with these employees and the people who were involved.

"The strength, courage and integrity by these two workers was beyond admirable. My mom and I have never been so proud and happy to help," Arrendondo told Upworthy. "After all, we have all been there."

Eventually after some convincing, the two employees shut the restaurant down and Arrendondo and Merkel went home much more tired than anticipated. They were still hungry, but full of gratitude and pride.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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