“What they want is dishonest harmony rather than honest conflict.”
There are certainly many things the Boomer parents generally did right when raising their kids. Teaching them the importance of manners and respect. That actions do, in fact, have consequences. That a little manners go a long way…all of these things are truly good values to instill in kids.
But, and we are speaking in broad strokes here, being able to openly discuss difficult feelings was not one of the skills passed down by this generation. And many Gen X and Millennial kids can sadly attest to this. This is why the term “dishonest harmony” is giving many folks of this age group some relief. They finally have a term to describe the lack of emotional validation they needed throughout childhood to save face.
Psychologists define the "dishonest harmony" approach as maintaining a façade of peace and harmony at the expense of addressing underlying issues. Parents who practice disharmony prioritize appearance over authenticity and are known to avoid conflict and sweep problems under the rug.
In a video posted to TikTok, a woman named Angela Baker begins by saying, “Fellow Gen X and Millennials, let's talk about our parents and their need for dishonest harmony.”
@parkrosepermaculture Replying to @Joe Namath #boomerparents #toxicparent #harmony #genx #millennial #badparenting #conflict #nocontact
Barker, who thankfully did not experience this phenomenon growing up, but says her husband “certainly” did, shared that when she’s tried to discuss this topic, the typical response she’d get from Boomers would be to “Stop talking about it. We don't need to hear about it. Move on. Be quiet.” And it’s this attitude that’s at the core of dishonest harmony.
What the experts say about 'dishonest harmony'
"Research supports what many therapists witness daily: families that avoid conflict tend to experience higher levels of anxiety, depression, and relational dissatisfaction," writes Dr. Rachel White, LMFT, at Restoration Psychological Services. "According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), families who suppress conflict are more likely to develop covert communication patterns, where body language and tone carry more weight than actual words. This leads to confusion, emotional misattunement, and a cycle of disconnection.
How 'dishonest harmony' works in families
“What that’s showing is their lack of ability to handle the distress that they feel when we talk openly about uncomfortable things,” she says. “What they want is dishonest harmony rather than honest conflict. Keep quiet about these hard issues. Suppress your pain, suppress your trauma. Definitely don't talk openly about it so that you can learn to heal and break the cycle,” she continues. “What matters most is that we have the appearance of harmony, even if there's nothing harmonious under the surface.”
A Baby Boomer couple.via Canva/Photos
Barker concludes that this need to maintain a certain facade led to most of the toxic parenting choices of that period. “The desire of Boomer parents to have this perception that everything was sweet and hunky dory, rather than prioritizing the needs of their kids, is what drove a lot of the toxic parenting we experienced.”
Barker’s video made others feel seen
“How did I not hear about dishonest harmony until now? This describes my family dynamic to a T. And if you disrespect that illusion, you are automatically labeled as the problem. It’s frustrating,” one person wrote in the comments.
“THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'm a 49 yo biker sitting in my bedroom crying right now. You just put a name to my darkness!” added another.
A Baby Boomer couple.via Canva/Photos
Many shared how they were refusing to repeat the cycle
One wrote, “This is EXACTLY my family dynamic. I’m the problem because I won’t remain quiet. Not anymore. Not again.”
“I love when my kids tell me what I did wrong. It gives me a chance to acknowledge and apologize. Everyone wants to be heard,” said another.
Of course, no parenting style is perfect. And all parents are working with the current ideals of the time, their own inner programming, and their inherent need to course-correct child-rearing problems of the previous generation. Gen Alpha parents will probably cringe at certain parenting styles currently considered in vogue. It’s all part of the process.
But hopefully, one thing we have learned as a collective is that true change happens when we summon the courage to have difficult conversations.
This article originally appeared last year. It has since been updated.
Running in skirts and dresses changed everything for Deb Voisin.
Activewear is a $400 billion industry, with no shortage of brands selling moisture-wicking tops, running shorts, yoga pants, and all manner of athletic clothing designed for exercise. In fact, we've become so accustomed to "workout gear" that the idea of exercising without it feels almost wrong.
Enter Deb Voisin, who not only challenges the notion that people need to run in any particular clothing, but runs herself barefoot and in skirts or dresses, like a preschooler—one with a keen understanding of biomechanics, that is.
A young girl runs on the sand. Photo credit: Canva
Voisin says she could "barely walk" due to an injury caused by overstretching, and she hadn't been able to find a healing method that worked. Not wanting surgery, she studied biomechanics and natural movement and made an interesting discovery about sprinting.
"Once I realized that a sprint is an amplified walking pattern, I knew that if I could learn how to sprint beautifully, I could walk pain-free," she shares.
To hone her form, she filmed herself sprinting on a curved treadmill. But there was a problem: she hated looking at herself.
"So I wore skirts and played dress up like a little girl," she says. "It worked!"
Watch:
- YouTube www.youtube.com
Voisin tells Upworthy it worked on multiple levels.
"I started wearing skirts because they helped me stop hating looking at myself—and I realized they also make healthy movement visible," she says. "Aligned movement is wavy and alive, not rigid. Running is timeless and human, and the fabric lets you actually see that flow."
She says she always hated running, but sprinting in skirts shifted her perspective.
"Once I realized that sprinting is the ultimate expression of a naturally aligned body, I aimed high and shot past pain into ease and power I don't think I ever felt growing up," she explains. "Now I help others find their way back to that feeling."
Voisin also says the comments on her video, which has been viewed more than 4 million times, made her weep.
"I had no idea how healing it would feel to be so openly accepted for something that even people close to me didn't understand," she says. "I just knew there was beauty and healing in it."
- YouTube www.youtube.com
Here are some of the viewer comments that made Voisin cry:
"Something about a running, whimsical lady in a skirt and no shoes is so magical."
"Every time a human loves herself, is a win for all the universe."
"Who noticed, the more she practices, the more she looks younger just like a little girl happy running and discovering the world that she sees as a beautiful and happy place? Beautiful lady, am glad seeing you running, run run run.."
"You literally look like you aged in reverse in the process! Amazing how healing joy can be for our bodies."
"Every single shot of you running in a skirt looks like it comes from a movie I'd love to watch."
"People forget, we often don't like doing things that are good for us, because we copy how everyone else is doing it. Make it fun for you, do it the way you want to do it. Find those joys in your life. It's your first time living."
Running with joy might require a different outfit.Photo credit: Canva
"I also just love the kick in the face to traditional 'workout' clothes. It's just more consumerism, you don't need special clothes to workout. Just use what you have!"
"I loved the reel, the fabric movement, the timelapse, the self love, the deep desire to heal, fit body at later ages… all of it made me smile at how we all creatively approach our problems."
"I've been an avid runner in my life, but haven't run much for a few years now. This brought tears to my eyes, your beauty and grace and commitment. I am inspired to run again, for the sheer joy of it!"
It's amazing what can happen when you infuse joy into physical activity. Maybe joy for you isn't running in a skirt and watching it flow in slo-mo, but something else entirely. Whatever joy looks like, leaning into it may help you reclaim the motivation you lost somewhere along the way and empower you to keep your body moving and healthy.
You can find more from Deb Voisin on her website.
Tired man (left); energized man (right)
The benefits of getting a good night's sleep are too vast to name. Sleep is as essential for our brains as food and water are for our bodies. If you're not getting enough, sleeping better has been shown to elevate your mood, improve your memory, and even boost your physical health. And then there's the obvious: when you don't sleep well, you'll have less energy and generally perform worse on tasks that require any kind of effort or thought.
However, we're all human, and, sometimes, humans sleep terribly. Your infant might wake you up, or a car alarm might go off outside, interrupting your regularly-scheduled REM. It's not always our fault when we don't sleep well, but there might be an interesting way to fix it.
A study from 2014 may have demonstrated the existence of something called "placebo sleep," or tricking your brain into believing you slept better than you did.
a man sitting at a desk with his head on his arms Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash
The placebo effect, of course, has been studied relentlessly over the years and has shown that the human body can do amazing, almost impossible things, when the brain gets on board. The classic example is when symptoms of disease get measurably better after a patient takes a "fake" pill. Another study out of Harvard showed that people who were told their jobs qualified as exercise showed improved health and fitness markers compared to people who did the same job. Placebos even work when the person knows they're taking a placebo. It's called an "honest placebo" and is considered a legitimate, ethical treatment method for many ailments.
The researchers in 2014 wanted to find out if the placebo effect could also apply to sleep. So, they lectured a group of participants about the importance of REM sleep and how it can effect cognitive functioning. The participants were then split into two groups and monitored overnight while they slept. The next morning, one group was told they achieved 28.7% REM sleep, which is terrific, and the other group was told they only spent 16.2% of their sleep time in REM, which is below average. The numbers, however, were complete fiction.
Stunningly, the participants who believed they achieved top quality sleep performed better the next day on a series of arithmetic and word association tests compared to the other groups.
In their conclusion, the authors wrote, "These findings supported the hypothesis that mindset can influence cognitive states in both positive and negative directions, suggesting a means of controlling one's health and cognition."
According to Smithsonian Magazine, follow up experiments confirmed the findings.
The key to feeling great and performing as if you had a great night's sleep may lie in simply believing that you did.
There are a lot of ways to "placebo your sleep" in order to generate that belief. For starters, you can adopt a new routine or technique or even supplement in order to prime your brain.
John Cline Ph.D. asserts for Psychology Today that the popularity of sleeping aids like melatonin may be tied less to the fact that they work, and more to the fact that people believe they work. But you don't need to take any supplements or medications. Having a slow evening wind down with a book and an herbal tea, trying a new sleeping position, or practicing some measured breathing might work just as well. Or, rather, they might work precisely because you believe they will.
Can a warm cup of tea help you sleep better? If you believe it, then yes. Photo by Dana Ciurumelea on Unsplash
You could take the concept a step further and alter your morning routine on nights you know for a fact you didn't sleep well. Perhaps it's by using a new coffee brand, doing some stretches before getting out of bed, or meditating before starting your day. Anything that you truly believe might help make you more alert and focused may just work.
One viral social media sleep trend capitalizes on this research perfectly. Researchers have shown that forcing your mouth into a smile has been shown to improve your mood. Turns out, similarly, you may be able to get sleepy by pretending to be super tired. Psychologist Erica Terblanche calls it the "alpha bridge," and it involves gently closing your eyes, fluttering them open just a tad, and then closing them again as you relax and breath. It simulates the feeling of "nodding off" and is said to create the alpha brainwaves that transition your brain from wakefulness to sleep. It's another clever way of tricking your own brain.
@erica.terblanche Here's a skill to help you fall asleep on an airplane or anywhere else for that matter. . Its called going over the Alpha Bridge. #EricaTerblanche #ThriveGuru #motivation #sleeping
It sounds cheesy, but the power of mindset and positive thinking is truly tremendous. Our beliefs and thought patterns can greatly influence our body, our behavior, and our mood. Sometimes, our mindset can even be stronger than actual reality. Now we have the data to prove that it applies to our precious sleep, too.
Remember when we didn't have infinite information at our fingertips?
Technically speaking, Duke University professor Aaron Dinin teaches entrepreneurship. But more accurately, he teaches young people to have a healthier relationship with failure, and he does this through various oddball challenges—everything from solving a 1000-piece puzzle in six minutes to trying to beat a nine-year-old at selling cookies.
In one recent video, Dinin's students were tasked with answering as many obscure questions as possible using nothing but the books in their library. Yes, just like back in the day.
After tossing their phones into a box, students were given a printed-out catalog of books to help them find the answers to questions like "When was Kentucky founded?" and "What makes Pickett's Charge important?"
Many Gen Zers admitted this was the first time they had ever looked something like this up in a book. Dinin quipped that, to them, the whole experience must have felt like "time travel." He also clearly enjoyed watching students come up exhausted, saying, "This is what research used to look like. This is why my PhD was so hard!"
And yet, the students managed. One even learned how to use an index, aka an "underrated piece of technology."
Watch:
As Dinin pointed out, anyone these days, not just Gen Zers, would almost certainly just Google this kind of information. And because of that, "being able to answer questions isn't nearly as valuable in the modern world as knowing which questions are worth chasing in the first place," which is perhaps an even bigger takeaway for students than learning how to use a library.
Down in the comments, parents and fellow teachers alike couldn't wait to try the exercise out on their own kiddos.
"This is awesome and I will be showing this to my 11 year old who was beside himself when I took away his iPad and gave him a physical dictionary to double check his ELA homework."
A boy drawing on an iPad. Photo credit: Canva
"This is brilliant! I need to do this with my middle schoolers!"
"What a GREAT experience! It's like Escape Room, library edition!"
Others were simply grateful for the trip down memory lane.
"Thank you for sharing this! I remember to actually looking for info for any research paper in like an encyclopedia Britannica🥴😂🤫"
"Is it nerdy to say that I actually had fun researching this way back in college (even though it was laborious)?!? Gen Xer here…"
On his website, Dinin shared that he was inspired to create learning opportunities like this after spending two decades "watching brilliant students sabotage their futures because they were scared to be wrong." He knew that, in order to combat that, he'd need to design classes that "make failure survivable (and maybe even a little bit fun)," rather than "chase success."
- YouTube www.youtube.com
And this is truly a great example of that. In our fear of failure, our enmeshment with experience, and our reliance on having knowledge at our fingertips, we run the risk of forfeiting autonomy and resilience. There is always a balance to strike, but doing so requires the willpower to ignore the alluring siren song of convenience. Perhaps in this day and age, that kind of willpower is one of the most valuable skills teachers can bestow on their students.
Follow along for even more of Dinin's fun videos here.
Left: A beaver swimming in a river. Right: A forested riverbank view.
Imagine standing on the edge of a loch in the Scottish Highlands. The air is crisp, and pine trees reflect off the glass-like water.
Welcome to the Glen Affric National Nature Reserve. Often called "one of the most beautiful places in Scotland," this stunning nature reserve is home to ancient Caledonian pine trees, gorgeous lochs, and magnificent hiking trails. However, for centuries, a specific sound—and species—has been missing from this landscape. On a brisk day in October 2025, that silence was finally broken by a splash.
In a moment conservationists are dubbing "wildlife history," seven beavers were released into the crystal-clear waters of Glen Affric, marking a monumental homecoming for a species that disappeared from the area four centuries ago.
Forestry and Land Scotland (FLS), working alongside the charity Trees for Life, released a family of five and a breeding pair of beavers at two sites on Loch Beinn a Mheadhoin in the nature reserve in Invernesshire. These animals are now swimming in waters that haven't felt the paddle of beaver tails since the 16th century.
For the people of Scotland, and nature lovers around the world, this release offers a profound sense of hope. It signals that we have the power to repair what was once broken, and that nature, when given the chance, can return to its rightful glory.
The long road home
To understand the magnitude of this occasion, we have to look back at what was lost. The European beaver was once a common sight across Britain. These animals were architects of wetlands, shaping the rivers and valleys people know today. Over time, however, humans hunted them to extinction for their fur, meat, and musk oil, and they disappeared from Scotland's landscape roughly 400 years ago.
For generations, ecosystems managed without them, but their absence was felt. Rivers flowed too fast, and wetlands dried up too quickly.
The tide began to turn in 2009 with the Scottish Beaver Trial in Knapdale Forest. This marked the UK's first licensed release of a mammal into the wild, bringing European beavers back to Argyll. The trial proved to scientists that beavers could once again thrive in Scottish waters. Since then, populations have grown in the Tay and Forth catchments, with current estimates suggesting more than 1,500 beavers now call Scotland home. The release in Glen Affric marks the next exciting chapter in this recovery, expanding their range into one of the country's most iconic nature reserves.
Nature's hardworking engineers
You might wonder why there's so much commotion over what, to many, looks like a giant rodent. The answer lies in the beaver's nickname, ecosystem "engineer." These creatures possess a remarkable ability to transform their environment, benefiting nearly everything around them.
When beavers build dams, they slow the flow of water. This creates complex wetland habitats, ponds and pools that become nurseries for fish, amphibians, and insects. These wetlands act like giant sponges in the landscape. During heavy rains, they hold back water, reducing the risk of catastrophic flooding for downstream communities. During droughts, they store water, keeping rivers flowing and providing a lifeline for wildlife.
Dams have dramatic impacts on the surrounding ecosystem. Photo credit: Canva
Recent studies highlight the benefits of beaver reintroduction for ecosystems. Research led by the University of Stirling found that beaver dams can reduce peak water pollution levels by 95%. These dams act like the kidneys of a river system, filtering out agricultural runoff and helping keep the water clean. By bringing beavers back to Glen Affric, scientists have effectively reinstalled a natural life-support system for the entire glen.
Added bonus: a boost to local communities
The return of the beaver is good news for people, too. Across Scotland, the presence of these charismatic creatures is becoming a significant draw for visitors—and a boost to local economies. Wildlife tourism is booming, with "beaver safaris" in places like Perthshire often booked to capacity.
Beavers aren't just cute and charismatic.Photo credit: Canva
Estimates now suggest that a single reintroduction site could eventually inject an estimated £2 million—roughly $2.7 million—into the local economy each year. Visitors come for the chance to see a beaver gliding through the water at dusk or to spot the telltale signs of gnawed wood and dams. This interest in the environment supports local hotels, guides, and cafes, breathing new life into rural areas.
Crucially, the Glen Affric release was not a top-down decision. FLS and Trees for Life spent years engaging with local communities, listening to concerns and building a plan that works, for the most part, for everyone. This model of community consultation helps ensure holistic sustainability and that the beavers are welcomed neighbors rather than a nuisance, setting a high bar for conservation projects worldwide.
A bright vision for the future
This release is part of a larger picture. In 2022, the Scottish Government published "Scotland's Beaver Strategy 2022-2045," an ambitious roadmap endorsed by more than 45 organizations. The mission is simple but powerful: to see the beaver population actively expand across Scotland.
The strategy recognizes that beavers are essential allies in tackling the twin crises of biodiversity loss and climate change. By restoring wetlands, beavers help sequester carbon and create natural firebreaks in forests. Scotland is hoping for a future in which beavers are no longer a novelty but an integrated, widespread part of the natural world.
Navigating challenges
Of course, bringing back a species that's been gone for nearly 400 years comes with its own learning curve. In low-lying areas, beaver activity can cause localized flooding that impacts farmers on prime agricultural land.
This is where the beaver strategy shifts from pure conservation to vigilant, careful management. Mitigation comes first: tree guards protect timber, and "flow devices" are installed on dams to regulate water levels. If conflicts remain unresolved, beavers are translocated, with experts trapping and moving them to areas where they are wanted and needed, such as the family relocated to Glen Affric.
Approaches like these balance and respect the needs of land managers while acknowledging the broader benefits to biodiversity. They recognize that living alongside wildlife requires compromise and adaptation, but that the rewards are well worth the effort.
A legacy of hope
As the seven beavers settle into their new lodges in Glen Affric, scientists look forward to them building dams—and a legacy. These animals represent a meaningful shift in how we relate to the natural world, moving from a mindset of exploitation to one of restoration.
Steve Micklewright, the chief executive of Trees for Life, described the release as a "moment of wildlife history." In a world where we often hear about what we're losing, the return of the beaver after 400 years is a powerful reminder of what we can regain. It offers a tangible sign that with patience, cooperation, and a little help from our furry friends, we can heal our landscapes and leave a richer, wilder world for future generations.
Resurfaced video of French skier's groin incident has people giving the announcer a gold medal