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Teacher’s heartfelt video on how smartphones hurt students makes the case for phone-free schools

“My heart goes out to teachers. It shouldn’t be this hard to teach.”

via Canva/Photos

A group of high schoolers look bored.

Much has been made in recent years about the effects that smartphones have had on young people, and that has led at least 19 states in the U.S to impose some sort of limitation on children having cell phones in schools, whether it’s a total ban or having the kids put their phones into pockets outside the classroom.

Social scientist Jonathan Haidt, a leader in the phone-free schools movement and author of The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness, recently shared a video on Instagram where a teacher he identified as Emma shared how smartphones have made her students apathetic.

teens with phones, kids and phones, anxiety, smeartphone addiction, dopamine, phones schools Two kids looking at their phones.via Canva/Photos

“First of all, the kids have no ability to be bored whatsoever. They live on their phones, and they are just fed a constant stream of dopamine from the minute their eyes wake up in the morning until they go to sleep at night,” the teacher says. “Because they're in a constant state of dopamine withdrawal at school, they behave like addicts. They're super emotional; the smallest things set them off. And when you're standing in front of them trying to teach, they're vacant. They have no ability to tune in if your communication isn't packaged in short little clips or if it doesn't have bright, flashing lights.”


The hardest part, Emma says, is that “They have their eyes looking at me, but they're not there...They have a level of apathy that I've never seen before in my whole career...It's like you are interacting with them briefly in between hits of the Internet, which is their real life.”

Haidt praised the video for doing what he says is a great job of sharing the damage that smartphones have done to children's developmental progress—and that the problem extends far beyond the dangers of social media, affecting their basic brain function.

“This is why I’m not only talking about #socialmedia—in the book I describe an entirely different kind of childhood that #smartphones have ushered in,” Haidt wrote in the comments. “I call it the #phonebasedchildhood, because it’s not just that touch-screen devices have added entertainment and 'connection'—they have replaced developmentally necessary aspects of childhood.”

teens with phones, kids and phones, anxiety, smeartphone addiction, dopamine, phones schools Teenagers taking selfies.via Canva/Photos

Haidt offers recommendations for parents and schools to help prevent children from developing trouble focusing or being away from their smartphones. He says parents shouldn’t allow their kids to have a smartphone before high school, as well as no social media until they are 16 years old.

When it comes to schools, Haidt believes that allowing students to bring their phones to class, provided they don’t use them, won’t help the problem. Instead, he thinks kids should place their phones in Yondr pouches, which are locked until the end of the day, or in phone lockers where they can retrieve them after school.

With pushback from teachers and social scientists such as Haidt, there is renewed hope that young people can find a better balance between real life and technology.

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What parents are teaching kids when we allow them to take a 'mental health day'

With zero hesitation—just a simple, "OK"—he turned the car around and took me home, and it's a lesson I've never forgotten.

Photo by Darwin Vegher on Unsplash

With one turn of the wheel, my dad taught me a lesson about self-care in high school that I'll never forget.

When I was in high school, I woke up one morning feeling overwhelmed. I was an honors student, I was involved in various activities and clubs, and for whatever reason, I felt thoroughly unprepared for the day. I don't recall if I had a test or a presentation or if it was just a normal school day that I couldn't face—I just remember feeling like I'd hit a wall and couldn't make my mental gears turn right.

I usually walked the mile and a half to school, but I was running late so my dad offered to drive me. In the car, I tried to keep it together, but halfway to school, the tears started to fall. My dad looked over and asked if I was OK.

"I don't know," I sobbed. "I feel like … I just … I need a day."

He knew I wasn't sick. He could have told me to tough it out. He could have given me a pep talk. He could have forced me to go. But he didn't do any of those things.

With zero hesitation—and just a simple "OK"—he turned the car around and took me home.

I have no memory of what I did the rest of that day. Three decades later, the only thing that sticks out is the basic-but-profound lesson my dad instilled in me the moment he turned that steering wheel: It's totally OK to take care of yourself.

We talked about it briefly on the way home. As it turned out, he was also taking a "mental health day." My dad was a social worker, and as an adult, I can totally understand why he would need to take a random day off sometimes. But it didn't really matter what he did for a living. Most of us need an occasional mental health day—adults, teens and kids alike.

man and woman lying on grassPhoto by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

Some schools have begun incorporating this understanding into their school attendance policies. Utah passed a bill in 2018 that allows a mental health day to count as an excused absence from school. Oregon enacted a similar law in 2019 and Arizona, Colorado, Connecticut, Illinois, Maine, Nevada and Virginia have followed suit.

“Mental health days are not only good for the practical aspect of giving young people a break," psychologist Caroline Clauss-Ehlers, Ph.D., told Healthline, "but they also validate that the community and society are saying, ‘We understand and we’re supporting you in this way.”

Occupational therapist Shelli Dry concurs, telling Healthline that acceptance of mental health days can help eliminate the stigma that often comes with mental illness.

“For schools to recognize that sometimes it’s better to take a mental health day than push through when you cannot seem to cope, is a tremendous support for students to feel understood and accepted, and [this, in turn, encourages] students to understand and accept themselves more,” she said.

closed eye boy laying on brown maple leavesPhoto by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Sometimes we forget how hard it is being a kid. In some ways, I think it's way harder than being an adult. Considering the fact that 1 in 6 kids between the ages of 6 and 17 experience a mental health disorder each year, we need to acknowledge that a lot of kids have days where they're struggling. But even kids who don't deal with mental illness sometimes need a down day. Modern life is busy and complex, no matter our age. Managing it all daily—and then also handling whatever extra stuff life throws at us—is a lot.

Part of good parenting is teaching kids to persevere through challenges, but encouraging perseverance has to be balanced with insight and wisdom. Sometimes kids might cry wolf, but it's important for parents to understand that kids might be dealing with more than we know. Sometimes kids need to be encouraged to dig deep for resilience. Sometimes kids have already been resilient for a long time and need a little time and space to just be.

My dad knew me. He understood that I wasn't just being lazy or trying to get out of doing something hard. He trusted me to know what I needed, which in turn taught me to listen to my inner alarm and trust myself. As a result, I've spent my adult life with a good sense of when I need to push through and when I need to pause and reset—a gift I'm immensely grateful for.

three children sitting on grassPhoto by Charlein Gracia on Unsplash

All of that said, this advice does come with a caveat. As a parent of kids who are learning to manage anxiety, mental health days can be a mixed bag. There's a difference between taking a mental health day because you really need it—which happens—and taking a mental health day to avoid facing fears—which also happens. Avoidance feels good in the moment but fuels anxiety in the long run, so parents and kids have to be aware of how the idea can be misused and unintentionally make certain mental health issues worse.

The bottom line, however, is that kids need breaks sometimes. And when you allow them to take an occasional day here and there to breathe, to do some self-care, to reconnect with themselves and reset their mental and emotional barometer, you teach them that their well-being matters. You teach them that it's OK to acknowledge when they've hit a limit and pause to recoup their strength.

It's OK to turn the car around when you know you need to. That's a lesson we all need to learn, and one we need to support with work and school policies in addition to internalizing individually. We're making some good strides toward that goal, and the sooner we all get on the same page, the better everyone's well-being will be.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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A mom whose 19-yr-old died by suicide has a vital message for parents about marijuana today

"You may be thinking, 'C'mon, Laura, it's no big deal – it's just pot.' 'Pot's legal, so it must be safe.'"

Laura Stack/Facebook

Johnny Stack

Laura Stack's son Johnny lost his life to suicide on November 20, 2019 when he was just 19 years old. Though the grief of his death was "still fresh," Stack took to Facebook to share something that happened three days before Johnny died, hoping it will help other parents whose kids may be at risk.

She wrote:

"On Sunday, November 17, 2019 around 5:30 PM, he came over for dinner. He lived in our condo a couple miles down the street and would often pop in for a home-cooked meal. This evening, he was a bit agitated but lucid. 'I need to tell you that you were right,' he told me. 'Right about what?' I asked. 'Right about the marijuana and the drugs. You told me weed and drugs would hurt my brain, and it's ruined my mind and my life. You were right all along. I'm sorry, and I love you.' He died by suicide three days later.

Stack explained that Johnny had "dabbed" since he was 15 or 16. "Do you understand the difference between smoking pot (and some edibles) and dabbing high-THC wax, shatter, or butter?" she asked. "Most of my friends look at me blankly when I say these words and say, 'I've never even heard about this.' If you don't know what cannabis extracts are, and you have children, grandchildren, sisters, brothers, nieces and nephews between the ages of 14 and 24, PLEASE keep reading."

"I am NOT talking about those of you who are supporters of legal recreational marijuana for adults over 21 years old—it's your life—do what you want," Stack clarified. "I know some people who take it successfully for specific medical purposes, so please don't write comments in my post about my personal experience. I'm specifically talking about illegal usage by children and young adults under 21, whose adolescent brains are still forming. You may be thinking, 'C'mon, Laura, it's no big deal – it's just pot.' 'Pot's legal, so it must be safe.' Or 'I did pot when I was a kid, too, and look, it didn't hurt me.'

Well, have you recently studied TODAY'S pot, and have you personally seen its effects on your children like I have?"

Stack explained why today's recreational cannabis is so different:

"First, the tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), a crystalline compound that is the main active ingredient of cannabis that gives the 'high,' is extracted out of the cannabis so that it's nearly pure. THC is the principal psychoactive constituent of cannabis. Then a butane torch is used to heat the crystals (similar to beeswax) or oil in a 'rig' (just google it), or a vaping device with a heating element called a dab pen can be used. Forget the 'grass' or 'papers' that were rolled in the 70s and 80s. The pot we grew up with (10% or less THC content) is HUGELY different than today's high-concentrate extracts (often 80% THC content or higher)."

She also explained why young people tend to be affected more by these high THC concentrations, and that the earlier they start the more likely it is that they'll develop a disorder.

"The brain is still developing through a person's 20s, and psychotic disorders typically develop in the late teenage years. During brain formation, heavy cannabis use has been shown to have a negative effect on the formation of neural pathways. It can also lead to heavier drug use. While the vast majority of marijuana smokers never experience CIP, researchers have found that the earlier and heavier someone starts dabbing, the more likely it is that they will develop a disorder at some point (often years later). We must educate our children when they are young (10-12 years old) and use hyper-vigilance in the early teen years, which we found was much easier before the age of 16, when they could drive. We couldn't lock him up or monitor him 24/7. Keep talking and keep trying!!

The harmful combination of a still-forming mind, high-potency THC products, and a high frequency of use = Cannabis-Induced Psychosis. Yes, that's a real diagnosis (or High-THC Abuse – Severe). Repeated CIP incidents can trigger schizophrenia or other mental illness, and even when the cannabis is withdrawn, the psychosis doesn't go away. This is what happened to my beautiful boy. When he died, the toxicology report showed he had ZERO drugs in his system. He wasn't depressed, neglected, drugged, or unloved. He was psychotic, paranoid, and delusional by the time he reached 19, and he refused the anti-psychotic drugs that he now needed, because he thought he wasn't sick (common to schizophrenia)."

It's so easy to think that marijuana use isn't that big of a deal, especially since some states have begun legalizing the drug for recreational use and many people see it as "natural." But the mild, laid-back high many people picture with pot use is not the reality of many of today's marijuana products or methods. Parents need to be aware of the dangers cannabis-derived drugs pose to their children's mental health and educate them as early as possible.

Stack included the following links to articles and studies backing up what she's learned about today's THC products. These are things we all should read and share, as this knowledge and awareness could literally save someone's life.

Potent pot, vulnerable teens trigger concerns in first states to legalize marijuana - The Washington Post

The contribution of cannabis use to variation in the incidence of psychotic disorder - The Lancet Journal

Association of Cannabis Use in Adolescence and Risk of Depression, Anxiety, and Suicidality in Young Adulthood - Journal of the American Medical Association

Dabs, Wax, Vaping Weed, Edibles and the Real Impact of High Potency THC Products: What Parents Need to Know - Resources to Recover

How Marijuana May Damage Teenage Brains in Study Using Genetically Vulnerable Mice - Johns Hopkins

Significant link between cannabis use and onset of mania symptoms – Science Daily

Cannabis-induced psychosis: A Review – Psychiatric Times

Summary of literature on marijuana and psychosis - Moms Strong


You can learn more about CIP and donate to Johnny's Ambassadors, a youth THC prevention organization started by Stack.

Editor's Note: This article originally appeared five years ago The opinions expressed in this piece are solely those of the author and the subjects written about or quoted.

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Man caring for stray dogs recognizes homeless man as his 'cousin' he hasn't seen in 25 years

"We're family!"

Photo credit: Canva

Man recognizes homeless cousin while feeding stray dogs

Many people who find themselves homeless for extended periods of time are often also living with a severe mental health condition. This can make it harder for them to find a job, keep up with bills and maintain familiar connections especially if they're unmedicated which often occurs due to loss of insurance connected to employment.

Homelessness doesn't mean a person is unworthy of love or that their family and friends aren't concerned for their safety. Sometimes their loved ones simply don't know where to look for them once they're no longer in the vicinity. Jeff Benardi runs the YouTube channel The Furry Pilot Diner where he goes around caring for stray dogs and making sure the dogs of houseless individuals have food.

On one of his recent missions to feed dogs, he ran across Michael J., a homeless man that recognized Benardi as his cousin. Michael's reaction took Benardi by surprise at first as the man was so excited that he recognized someone from his past that he had difficulty verbalizing what he was trying to say.

a man pushing a cart full of bags down a street Photo by Etienne Girardet on Unsplash

After introducing himself as Jeff, the man excitedly says, "Jeff Benardi," and begins shouting and jumping in place as Benardi asks how he knows his name. That's when Michael breaks the news, "we're cousins," which clearly confused the good samaritan. You can hear the confusion in his voice as he clarifies. Suddenly it was like Michael remembered everything at once as he tries to explain their connection.

"Oh my God! We went to Reed High School," he shouts before Benardi confirms he went to the school in 1986. "Listen, we used to go fishing, we used to drink Bud...no not Bud. No it's the other one. It's a cheap beer. Name another one...Keystone. We used to go fishing. I...we...we worked at the Clarkson Company."


Guy helping the homeless meets one that turns out to be his long lost cousin. (OC)
byu/Crafty_Check_889 inMadeMeSmile

It's then you can hear the recognition hit Benardi's voice when he confirms he worked at Clarkson as well. Michael continued to stumble over his words trying to get out more information to prove they knew each other but Bernardi cuts him off to ask for a hug. The moving video is cut short, presumably due to overwhelming emotions as you can hear Benardi's voice cracking towards the end of the exchange. But that wasn't the end, Benardi has been staying in touch with Michael trying to get him off the streets.

In one of his first update videos, he thought he had lost Michael after the police cleared out the encampment where the man was sleeping. After some searching, he was able to locate him sleeping on a couch outside. Michael became emotional when Benardi asks if he's tried homeless shelters saying, "yeah, I don't want to go to a shelter I just want my family."


In another update Benardi writes, "Today I am trying to locate family for Michael. We were childhood friends and my family loved him so we always called ourselves cousins. I love this guy! I tried bringing him to my house and he mentally was not prepared and melted down insisting I brought him back to this location until his family showed up."

Benardi admits he's out of his depth with trying to help his friend but is determined to help him and will keep showing up for as long as he needs to. It seems as though Michael may be struggling with a mental health condition as he appears to drift in and out of reality, but that doesn't stop his cousin from trying to help. Benardi's followers were able to donate enough money to get Michael a phone so he could stay in touch and hopefully reach his family, which is exactly what can now happen.


According to a commenter, they're Michael's brother and after seeing the video are actively trying to help him as well, writing in part, "I found my Brother today. Unfortunately he did not want my help. He was staying near my cousins house and they would check in on him everyday. His mind is pretty messed up. He is on his way back to our mother's house. So hopefully he will chill out for a few days."

All of that from a chance encounter with someone that jogged a 25 year plus memory. Sometimes the power of social media can feel surreal. Michael says he hasn't seen his family in years and is obviously seeking familial connection. Hopefully once he is reacclimated to interacting with others he will be able to get the help he needs to come back around fully, until that time Benardi and Michael's family will continue to look out for him to make sure he's safe and knows that he is loved.

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