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Michelle Yeoh discusses overcoming the 'huge sadness' felt by not being able to have kids

A refreshing and poignant perspective on a topic not many talk about—but so many can relate to.

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"You come to a point where you have to stop blaming you."

Anyone that’s tried and failed to become pregnant could tell you that there’s a definitive mourning period that comes with an infertility journey—one that can and often involves guilt at not being able to conceive. Even if a woman logically understands that this was purely something out of her control (cue feelings of powerlessness), the pressures of societal and familial expectations alone are enough for her to start blaming herself.

But, as with all forms of grief, time offers fresh perspective.

Recently, actress Michelle Yeoh opened up about her own infertility struggles, and the difficult feelings that arose as a result. Her candid and vulnerable words are making so many women who have had similar experiences feel seen—not to mention hopeful.

In two separate interview—one with BBC’s Woman’s Hour and the other with The Times—the Oscar winner revealed that she had always wanted to start a family. It was a dream shared by her first husband Sir Dickson Poon. Yeoh had even retired from her budding acting career in order to make this dream a reality.

And yet, that dream would go on unrealized, even after trying a fertility treatment.

"And I think the worst moment to go through is every month you feel like such a failure," she told BBC.

Poon wanting kids and Yeoh not being able to get pregnant eventually became the major factor leading to their amicable divorce. While Yeoh commended the “bravery” they had to make such a hard decision, she still told the Times that it remains the “biggest sadness” in her life.

But, even while holding onto that sadness, Yeoh committed to giving other aspects of her life her “ 110 percent,” which she said enabled her to live without regrets. And no one would argue that, with a highly successful career spanning over three decades and an Oscar at 62, she didn’t give it her all.

Plus, Yeoh has been able to appreciate the “beauty” of her six godchildren (one of them being Poon’s daughter), her many nephews and nieces, and even a baby grandchild from her stepson. Yeoh had recently remarried to Jean Todt after a 19-year engagement. So plenty of blessings still to be had.

"I did everything to make it work, and sometimes even that is not enough, you have to be able..." she said while apparently raising her arms with her fists balled. "In life we say, you have to not go around holding your hands like this, you have to learn to let go, and sometimes letting go helps you move forward."

As for feelings of guilt, she told the BBC, “I think at some point you stop blaming yourself. I go, there are certain things in your body that don't function in a certain way. That's how it is.

"You just have to let go and move on. And I think you come to a point where you have to stop blaming you."

This last point struck a major chord with other women who’ve had similar challenges.

“Thank you for this interview. I think because society pushes us to try harder, do more, and look on the bright side of things, we learn not to have compassion for ourselves on the things we have no control over. ❤️”

“As someone who wanted children, but ended up not getting them.. it is just beautiful to hear the words from someone else's mouth. I always admired Michelle Yeoh and this just amplifies the love I feel for her ❤️”

“It is so refreshing, and so necessary, to hear this topic being spoken about with such honesty and clarity 👏👏 Permanent childlessness is, for many, such a huge thing to face either as a couple or solo, and yet remains a largely hidden experience. It definitely needs to be talked about more and it is wonderful to see the conversations beginning to appear in places like this, with brilliant people like this 😍”

“You're not a failure because you were not able to have children❤️ I had to have a hysterectomy at 32 and even though it caused me, I had to accept that not everyone gets to be a mom. Now I have love for everyone in my life to share❤️”

“Thank you Michelle for sharing your story. This is my story almost exactly. I’m 57 and the pain still shows up in me sometimes.”

Hopefully any other woman going through this kind of challenge finds this today and remembers to give themselves a little self compassion.

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Moms rally around Chrissy Teigen after she cautiously announces pregnancy two years after a loss

"I don’t think I’ll ever walk out of an appointment with more excitement than nerves but so far, everything is perfect and beautiful and I’m feeling hopeful and amazing."

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Chrissy Teigen announces pregnancy.

Losing a baby is a tragedy at any stage of pregnancy, but losing a baby later in pregnancy can feel that much more devastating. Getting pregnant after loss is extremely anxiety-inducing, so when Chrissy Teigan cautiously announced she was pregnant with her fourth child, mothers who have experienced pregnancy loss collectively shared her apprehension.

In 2020, Teigen excitedly announced that she and her husband, singer John Legend, were expecting their third child and people were elated for them. But sadly the pregnancy ended at 20 weeks and the famous couple bravely shared the pictures of their beautiful son Jack with the world. The experience was understandably traumatic for the couple but their bravery in sharing the news allowed for others to open up about their own losses while offering support to the couple.

Now, two years later, the pair are expecting again and Teigen shared her apprehension on telling the world she was pregnant saying in part, "Every appointment I’ve said to myself, 'ok if it’s healthy today I’ll announce' but then I breathe a sigh of relief to hear a heartbeat and decide I’m just too nervous still." The supermodel continued, "I don’t think I’ll ever walk out of an appointment with more excitement than nerves but so far, everything is perfect and beautiful and I’m feeling hopeful and amazing."

Teigen isn't alone in her experience. Danielle Campoamor shared her own story in an essay on Today sharing her own experience with losing a baby at 19 weeks. About 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage and 1 in 100 end at or after the 20-week mark. Each year, 24,000 babies are stillborn in America. The number feels staggering and it's a subject that is not talked about enough as it's a club that no one wants to join. Teigen sharing her story and photos of losing her son Jack helped catapult the reality of infant loss into the spotlight.

So when the mom of three shared she was expecting again, the comments on Teigen's Instagram were filled with people wishing her well and sharing their experiences. One commenter, Hilari Seagears, wrote, "Girl! After 4 miscarriages im 7 months pregnant with no medical intervention. Can we say MIRACLE!? 😭 i feel you 100000000000%." While Robyn Oyung said, "CHRISSY MY EYES ARE IMMEDIATELY FULL OF TEARS I AM SO SO SO HAPPY FOR YOU AND THE FAMILY CONGRATULATIONS LOVE YOU 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥹🥹🥹."

The positive enveloping of the expectant mom did not stop there. LiShelle Trembath told the model, "Well done. The struggle to let yourself be happy and confident, is real and valid. You’re doing all the right things to honor Jack. He’d be so proud." While Ruth Kennedy sent her well wishes gently saying, "Gentle congratulations ❤️ I’m also pregnant after loss and can absolutely relate to the nerves and anxiety xx."

Of course there were celebrities in the comments as well, but the amount of mothers that are showering Teigen with love and well wishes were overwhelming. We are wishing Teigen and all the people experiencing pregnancy after loss healthy and smooth pregnancies.

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Khloe Kardashian's baby story is complex. But it's so important she shared it.

(You probably already know this, but) Khloe Kardashian had a baby.

The 33-year-old reality star — arguably the most relatable of America's first TV family — gave birth to a baby girl on April 12. And, like me, the internet couldn't be any happier.

OK, maybe not everyone.

Kardashian's pregnancy seems to have resonated with so many people because she's been so open about her struggles.

In 2013, she revealed that she'd been trying to get pregnant, but that conception wasn't coming easily due to hormonal imbalances that required a strict regimen of injections.

In 2017, she got really real when she visited a specialist with her sister. Their visit was ostensibly planned so Khloe could talk about being Kim's potential surrogate, but Khloe opened up about the fact that she'd stopped her fertility treatment because she knew that her relationship with Lamar Odom needed a lot of work before they'd be able to raise a child together.

Later in the episode, Kardashian is told that she may not have enough healthy follicles to have a baby.

"Shut the fuck up!" she says in a moment that was too emotional to have been scripted. "This is definitely not at all how I thought this appointment was going to go. What if I can't get pregnant?"

My greatest dream realized! We are having a baby! I had been waiting and wondering but God had a plan all along. He knew what He was doing. I simply had to trust in Him and be patient. I still at times can't believe that our love created life! Tristan, thank you for loving me the way that you do! Thank you for treating me like a Queen! Thank you for making me feel beautiful at all stages! Tristan, most of all, Thank you for making me a MOMMY!!! You have made this experience even more magical than I could have envisioned! I will never forget how wonderful you've been to me during this time! Thank you for making me so happy my love! Thank you to everyone for the love and positive vibes! I know we've been keeping this quiet but we wanted to enjoy this between our family and close friends as long as we could privately. To enjoy our first precious moments just us ❤️ Thank you all for understanding. I am so thankful, excited, nervous, eager, overjoyed and scared all in one! But it's the best bundle of feelings I've ever felt in my life! ❤️❤️❤️

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When she officially announced her pregnancy in December 2017, the news was met with unprecedented fanfare. Sure, she's a Kardashian, but the truth is that her story was more than that: By being open about her journey she inspired hope and helped pave the way for other people to talk about their own fertility problems.

Many stay silent about fertility and reproductive issues because of the stigma that can surround it.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, more than 12% of cisgender women in the U.S. will experience trouble conceiving during their lifetime; 6.7% of married cis women will experience infertility; and between the years of 2011 and 2015, more than 7 million sought fertility treatment.

Why aren't more people talking about it?

For many, infertility can feel embarrassing or shameful. Teresa Taylor, the former chief operating officer of Qwest Communications, told CNN in 2015 that her struggles made her feel like she wasn't good enough:

"I felt like I was a failure. I felt like I was alone. I felt like it was just me. It's supposed to be a natural thing that you conceive and give birth as a human being. You see bugs do it and animals do it and birds do it and so you're like, 'Why can't I?'"

Feelings of grief and loss keep many from talking about it and lead them to believe that others won't understand or will ask inappropriate questions.

Taylor said that friends and family, not knowing that she was having fertility problems, would constantly ask her about why she wasn't starting a family. In a society where womanhood and motherhood are so often conflated, not being able to conceive — especially when one is desperate to do so — can feel humiliating.

Bringing these kinds of issues out into the open is good for everyone.

That's why Kardashian's candidness is so important. When celebrities speak out about their difficulties, they encourage others to be more open as well.

"I do think my difficulty getting pregnant has helped a lot of women," Kardashian said in 2013. "Do I wish people would quit asking me about it 24/7? Yes, but I don’t regret it."

If, as critics says, the Kardashians are synonymous with overexposure in our culture, Khloe's forthcomingness about her pregnancy proves there's good in all of it.

This kind of frank discussion is one worth keeping up.

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A sports anchor miscarried on-air years ago. Now she's finally writing about it.

Sara Walsh, a former ESPN anchor, recently shared a photo on Instagram of herself enjoying Mother's Day with her twin babies.

It's all sunshine, smiles, and cute onesies as the trio snuggles together in a hammock. In the photo's caption, however, Walsh reveals that her journey to motherhood was anything but a walk in the park.

In her emotional message, Walsh explains that she suffered a miscarriage years ago while hosting a live, televised "SportsCenter" segment.

My mother bought them these onesies because she thought they were funny. For us, they're especially poignant. Finding a good egg didn't come easy for me, and I suspect there are many people out there facing the same struggle. The road down a dark path began while hosting Sportscenter on the road from Alabama. I arrived in Tuscaloosa almost three months pregnant. I wouldn't return the same way. The juxtaposition of college kids going nuts behind our set, while I was losing a baby on it, was surreal. I was scared, nobody knew I was pregnant, so I did the show while having a miscarriage. On television. My husband had to watch this unfold from more than a thousand miles away, texting me hospital options during commercial breaks. It would get worse. Two more failed pregnancies. More than once, I'd have surgery one day and be on SportsCenter the next so as not to draw attention to my situation. We then went down the IVF road of endless shots and procedures. After several rounds, we could only salvage two eggs. I refused to even use them for a long time, because I couldn't bear the idea of all hope being gone. I blew off pregnancy tests, scared to know if it worked. It had. Times two. It was exciting news, but we knew better than to celebrate. So I spent a third straight football season pregnant, strategically picking out clothes and standing at certain angles, using scripts to hide my stomach. There would be no baby announcement, no shower, we didn't buy a single thing in preparation for the babies, because I wasn't sure they'd show up. We told very few people we were pregnant, and almost no one there were two. For those that thought I was weirdly quiet about my pregnancy, now you know why. For as long as I can remember I hosted Sportscenter on Mother's Day, and the last couple years doing that have been personally brutal. An hours-long reminder of everything that had gone wrong. I wasn't on tv today, and I'm not sure when I will be again, but instead I got to hang with these two good eggs. My ONLY good eggs. And I know how lucky I really am. #twins #ivf

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"I arrived in Tuscaloosa almost three months pregnant," she wrote. "I wouldn't return the same way."

"The juxtaposition of college kids going nuts behind our set, while I was losing a baby on it, was surreal. I was scared, nobody knew I was pregnant, so I did the show while having a miscarriage. On television. My husband had to watch this unfold from more than a thousand miles away, texting me hospital options during commercial breaks."

This was only the beginning of Walsh's journey to motherhood.

From there, she and her husband endured multiple rounds of in vitro fertilization (IVF). "After several rounds, we could only salvage two eggs," she explained. "I refused to even use them for a long time, because I couldn't bear the idea of all hope being gone."

Despite the odds, it worked. Twice. Walsh was pregnant with twins. But she struggled to shake the pain from the pregnancy-that-wasn't.

"It was exciting news, but we knew better than to celebrate. So I spent a third straight football season pregnant, strategically picking out clothes and standing at certain angles, using scripts to hide my stomach. There would be no baby announcement, no shower, we didn't buy a single thing in preparation for the babies, because I wasn't sure they'd show up. We told very few people we were pregnant, and almost no one there were two. For those that thought I was weirdly quiet about my pregnancy, now you know why. "

In sharing her story, Walsh contributed to a much-needed dialogue about the unseen pain many women and families carry with them.

Miscarriage and infertility can be great sources of shame and isolation, even though as many as 1 in 5 pregnancies will end in a miscarriage.

The responses to Walsh's post say as much, with thousands of Instagram users from around the world sending support and sharing their own heartbreaking stories of infertility and miscarriages.

While not every person who goes through something like this should have to talk about it — different people cope in different ways, after all — the simple and incredibly important message of Walsh's post is this: You are not alone.

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