Study shows who's teaching girls about sex when school and parents won't
New research reveals an unintended side-effect of abstinence-only education.
For better or worse, pornography has never been easier to access. And with an increasing number of young people having their own phones and devices — which aren't always monitored — it makes sense that usage in that demographic would be on the rise.
Watching porn has typically been thought of as a boy thing. What's surprising is just how common it's becoming among girls.
A 2024 study showed that 60% of women ages 18-34 regularly watched porn, with a majority of those first starting when they were teenagers — or younger.
What's especially fascinating about the study is that it also examined relationships between porn use in women and the type of sex education those women received in school.
Young women who received abstinence-only education were actually more likely to watch porn.
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A large majority of the women surveyed who did use pornography cited it as a "source of sexuality learning, especially regarding sexual pleasure."
The study adds that the participants generally admitted porn wasn't the ideal place to learn, but sought it out anyway.
Whatever your attitude about porn, most people can probably agree — this development is not great!
Actress Jameela Jamil famously said, "Learning to have sex from porn is like learning how to drive from The Fast and Furious. A bloody horrendous idea."
But what other choice do young people have? Abstinence-only education gives very little, if any, information about the bare minimum of condoms, other contraception, and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). It preaches that abstaining from sex is the expected standard and the only solution to the risks inherent with sex.
It's easy to see why young people would be frustrated, and why they would go online looking for answers.
Sex education is still lacking at nearly every level. Including at home.
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We have known for years (and years and years and years) that abstinence-only education isn't effective. It's been shown again and again not to delay young people having intercourse — and it's not effective at reducing teen pregnancies or STD's.
Worse, it leaves kids not knowing nearly enough about contraception, consent, and safe sex when they do choose to become active.
It's a stubborn approach that won't seem to go away despite the mounting evidence against it. (Its popularity comes and goes depending on who's in political power at the time and is still quite common throughout the United States.)
Even in some slightly more comprehensive sex education programs, however, the focus is still on risk-reduction and contraception. That's a decent start — but leaves young people frustrated with all the missing information.
"The findings suggest the need for comprehensive sexuality education that addresses essential topics, such as sexual pleasure and sexual script development, to cater to women’s diverse learning needs," the study's authors write, "ideally taught by parents or primary caregivers, but may be necessary for public education in the absence of parental instruction."
The idea of schools teaching information about sexual pleasure feels... weird. But if parents can't or won't do it, someone has to. And it can't be worse than having kids trying to imitate what they see on PornHub.
Public health experts Leslie Kantor and Laura Lindberg write, "Focusing on [risk-reduction] topics and measures overlooks many key aspects of young people’s current and future sexual lives, including the ability to form and maintain healthy relationships; the right to decide whether, when, and with whom to engage in sexual behavior; and the fact that sex should be pleasurable, to name just a few."
It's a little hard to imagine a world where public schools are allowed to go deep on topics like pleasure, sexual identity and preference, consent, and more. (They can't even give out Tylenol without written permission!) So until that day comes, parents have got to pick up the slack at home.
I know, the thought makes many of us want to curl up and die. But the benefits of going deeper into these, admittedly uncomfortable, topics with our kids are vast, including:
- Lower rates of homophobia and bullying
- Decreases in partner and dating violence
- Reduced number of sexual partners
- Increased contraceptive use
- Improved sexual communication skills