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A 3-year-old gave her mom a 25-word master class on what forgiveness really means.

"Tonight I was taught a lesson in forgiveness by a three year old. It was a gut punch, too."

Mom and blogger Mary Katherine Backstrom regularly shares snippets of life with her two children on her Facebook page. One particularly touching interaction with her daughter is melting hearts and blowing minds due to the three-year-old's wise words about forgiveness.

Even adults struggle with the concept of forgiveness. Entire books have been written about how and why to forgive those who have wronged us, but many still have a hard time getting it.

Who would guess that a preschooler could encapsulate what forgiveness means in a handful of innocent words?

Backstrom told the story in a now viral Facebook post:

"My daughter and I just had a knock-down, drag-out bedtime hour. Finally, about ten minutes ago, I put her to bed and through clinched teeth said 'I love you, Holland, but not another word tonight. You are going to sleep now. I'm done fussing over stuffed animals.'



'Mommy?'

I paused on the way out the door, literally biting my tongue I was so frustrated.

'What is it, Holland?'

'I DO have one more thing to say.'

Of course she did. She was standing on the bed with her hands on her hips, too. Her hair was wild and she was using her arm to wipe her tears and snot away from her face.

'Mommy,' my three year old said, staring me down with venom in her tiny voice...

'I FORGIVE YOU!!!'

Then she laid down and cried and honest to goodness, for a hot minute, I didn't know what to do.

The way she said 'I forgive you,' made it sound like cuss words.

I walked over to the bedside and leaned over.

'Baby girl, do you know what forgiveness means?'

She was still sniffling, her face shoved deep into her Little Mermaid pillow.

'Yes,' she muttered.

I really had to hear this.

'It means you were wrong, and I'm tired of being mad, and now I'm going to sleep and my heart won't have a tummy ache.'

So there you have it, folks.

Tonight I was taught a lesson in forgiveness by a three year old. It was a gut punch, too. And you're dang right I climbed in that bed and loved on her.

Because to be honest, MY heart had a bit of a tummy ache.

I was reminded by my toddler to never go to bed in anger. Because when you do, your heart will have a tummy ache.

And you know what? I've been alive for 35 years, and I've got to give it to her:

She's not wrong."


According to experts, the preschooler really isn't wrong.

According to UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center:

"Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

Just as important as defining what forgiveness is, though, is understanding what forgiveness is not. Experts who study or teach forgiveness make clear that when you forgive, you do not gloss over or deny the seriousness of an offense against you. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses. Though forgiveness can help repair a damaged relationship, it doesn't obligate you to reconcile with the person who harmed you, or release them from legal accountability.

Instead, forgiveness brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees him or her from corrosive anger. While there is some debate over whether true forgiveness requires positive feelings toward the offender, experts agree that it at least involves letting go of deeply held negative feelings. In that way, it empowers you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define you, enabling you to heal and move on with your life."

Basically, Holland said the same thing, just in 25 kid-friendly words.

The post has been shared more than 92,000 times, and Backstrom told Upworthy she was pleasantly surprised when it went viral.

"It makes me happy when heartwarming stories go viral," she said, "because I think it's a shared slice of humanity that everyone is finding in common. And in this case, the innocence and profound wisdom that at times comes from the mouths of children."

"I think children are able to speak profound truths," she added, "because they address complex emotions in simple ways. As adults we complicate our approach to conflict. We could learn a lot from toddlers who express their frustration, hug it out, forgive, and move on. It would certainly save us a few 'heart tummy aches.'"

Indeed it would. Thank you, Holland, for the sweet reminder.

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Capital One
Capital One
Capital One Impact Initiative

He was a homeless veteran. Karis Village offered him not just a home, but a community.

"To me, this building was just a gift."

Capital One
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Capital One

Brian Olesen never imagined he would end up homeless.

The former U.S. Air Force medic had led a full and active life, complete with a long career in the medical field, a 20-year marriage, and a love of anything aquatic. But after hip surgery and chronic back pain left him disabled in 2013, he lost his ability to work. Due to changes in eligibility requirements, he couldn't qualify for federal veteran housing programs. His back issues were difficult to prove medically, so he didn't qualify for disability. Though he'd worked his whole life, having no income for five years took its toll. He got evicted from a couple of apartments and found himself living on the streets.

But in 2018, two things completely turned Olesen's life around. He was able to both qualify for disability and to move into an affordable housing community in Miami's Goulds neighborhood called Karis Village.

When people think of affordable housing, they don't usually picture a place like Karis Village. The 88-unit development is brand new, and built with an attention to design that is not always expected for developments that serve as home to people on limited incomes. The apartments have tile floors, marble countertops, and all new appliances and furniture, and the grounds are beautiful and well-kept, with a playground and common areas for residents to gather.

Brian Olesen in his kitchen at Karis VillageCapital One

Karis Village isn't just a housing development; it's a home and a community. Half of the units are set aside for veterans who have experienced homelessness, like Olesen. The other half are largely occupied by single-parent families.

"To me, this building was just a gift," says Olesen. "All of the different parties that got together to put this building together… making half the building available to veterans. We've got no place to go."

Addressing veteran homelessness was one of the goals of Karis Village, which was built through a partnership that included Carrfour Supportive Housing — a mission-driven, not-for-profit affordable housing organization in southern Florida — and Capital One's Community Finance team. More than just an affordable place to live, the community has full-time staff on hand to help coordinate services—from addiction recovery programs to transportation options to job search and placement. Also included are peer counselors who provide emotional and psychological support for residents.

Karis Village, an affordable housing community in Miami, Florida.Capital One

Carrfour President and CEO Stephanie Berman says the core function of the services team on site is to build a supportive community.

"Often when you think of folks leaving homelessness and coming into housing, you think of shelters or some kind of traditional housing," she says. "You don't really think about a community, and that's really what we build and what we operate. What we're really striving to create is community. We find that our families thrive when you create a sense of community."

The intention to create a supportive community at Karis Village was a priority from the get go. Fabian Ramirez, a Capital Officer on Capital One's Community Finance team, says the bank did a listening tour in southern Florida to explore community development and affordable housing options in the area and to hear what was most needed. After deciding to partner with Carrfour, the bank provided not only an $8 million construction loan and a $25 million low income housing tax credit (LIHTC) investment to help build Karis Village, but it also kicked in a $250,000 social purpose grant to help fund the social support services that would be put in place for residents.

"It's not just all about providing the brick and mortar," says Ramirez. "It's about being able to contribute to the sustainability of the development and of the lives of the people who move into the building."


Capital One

Olesen says he and his fellow residents benefit greatly from the network of support services offered in the building. He says a counselor comes to meet with him once a month, sometimes right in his apartment. He also gets help maintaining a connection with the Veteran Affairs office. Other services include social workers and counselors for drug addiction and alcoholism.

Olesen loves being around other veterans, and he says hearing the sound of children playing keeps the community lively. He says anywhere else he could afford to live on disability wouldn't be nearly as nice and would likely involve shared kitchens and bathrooms and neighborhoods you wouldn't want to go out in at night.

If it weren't for Karis Village, Olesen says he doesn't know where he would be today: "I had nowhere to go and this is a safe, beautiful place to spend my retirement."

"I don't think they could have done a much better job of putting this place together and supplying us with what we need," he says. "I have so much appreciation for the ability to have a place to live. And then you add to that that it's beautiful and completely furnished and you didn't need to bring anything—I don't know what more you could ask for."

Karis Village and another development for veterans built the same year enabled the neighborhood of Goulds to meet the requirements set forth by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development to declare an end to veteran homelessness in the area.

Ending veteran homelessness altogether is a complex task, but communities like Karis Village show how it can be done—and done well. When government agencies, non-profit organizations, and corporate funding programs come together to solve big problems, big solutions can be built and maintained.

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Walgreens
Walgreens
WE Teachers

Proudest moments from the classroom — and they have nothing to do with test scores

Photo by Jonny Mansfield on Unsplash
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Walgreens

Take a second and think about your favorite teacher. Regardless of how long it's been since you stepped foot in a classroom, it's likely that you have fond memories of one teacher, or several, who made a lasting impact on your life. They went above and beyond because they cared, supported you through challenging times, and inspired you to reach for your dreams.

For Celina Lee, now a career coach, lawyer, and author, it was her eight grade English teacher, Mr. Weiss, who stood up for her when she didn't know how to stand up for herself, and helped her find her voice.

Courtesy of Celina Lee

"I was tortured by ongoing bullying when I was in middle school because I had come from South Korea and didn't speak English well," said Lee. "One morning I went to see him to tell him it was just impossible to finish all the homework, including an essay he had assigned. He listened to me with patience. Then he looked me in the eye, and with intention, he said, 'Celina, you can do this.'"

Several days later, to Lee's amazement, Mr. Weiss declared in front of the classroom, "We have a wonderful writer in our class. Celina, why don't you read your essay out loud for everyone?"

"I was stunned," said Lee.

She finished reading her essay and the class applauded. Many years later, this moment still sticks with Lee.

"After that day, school wasn't so bad anymore. His belief in me changed the way others saw me, and how I saw myself. It took just one instance of encouragement at a critical moment to make all the difference."

Teacher satisfaction undeniably comes from students mastering a curriculum, but educators also derive tremendous fulfilment in "ah ha" moments or life lessons that mold students into strong, tolerant, confident, and happy people.

Adam Cole taught choir at a Georgia middle school until 2006. His proudest accomplishment even today: helping students overcome interpersonal challenges and reach their true potential.

Photo courtesy of Adam Cole

"In addition to getting my kids ready for all their choral performances, I felt an obligation to work on their self-esteem and confidence," Cole said. "We had a tradition that in the last five minutes of every class, anyone who wanted to could come up and perform whatever moved them. This was a great experience — not only for the most outgoing students, but also the most shy."

Cole remembers one student in particular:

"I had a young man who started with me in sixth grade. He was a nice kid, friendly, and a little uncomfortable socially. It was clear he wanted to be outgoing and charismatic, but had no idea how to be," said Cole.

Over the course of three years, Cole would coach the young man on eye contact, posture, and presentation.

"By the eighth grade he was nothing like the kid I met years before. The thing that made me happiest was that, when he came up to the front of the room, he was charismatic. Any time I can see firsthand how powerful our work actually is, it makes me proud, and it makes me want to fight for us and for our students."

Although teachers may be tempted to shrug it off as "just part of the job," these moments are truly special. The attention and commitment given to each student to help them grow ties teacher and student together in a transformational way.

For veteran educator Allison Bruning, helping a student embrace her cultural identity created a lifelong bond.

Photo courtesy of Allison Bruning

Bruning was teaching second grade in Fort Stockton, Texas when she learned one of her incoming students was Mary*, a sweet girl, but very shy and struggling with Language Arts, who happened to live on the Navajo reservation.

"I could tell something was bothering her. Even though she was very nice, she had a hard time making friends," said Bruning.

Eager to help her student, Bruning met with Mary's mother and learned that Mary had struggled on the Reservation as well, wanting nothing to do with her cultural heritage. Mary was in a school where she, her sister and her parents were the only Native Americans.

"I felt it was very important for a student to master his or her first language before trying to conquer a second one," said Bruning.

To help Mary connect with her heritage, Bruning assigned her a special project where she would have to learn a new Navajo word each week, then present that word and its meaning to Bruning every Friday. Over time, Mary's appreciation for her culture and language grew. She learned more Navajo words and, in doing so, was also able to increase her English Language Arts ability as well. Mary's confidence had developed to the point where she asked her teacher if she could give a demonstration to her class about her culture, dressed in her traditional Navajo clothes.

Mary's skills advanced quickly; soon she was reading above her grade level and returned to the Navajo reservation at the end of the year where she continued to thrive. She graduated with honors from high school last year and is now in college.

"Culture is very important and is lost forever if it is not passed down to the next generation. I was proud to help a child appreciate her heritage. And I was even prouder to have been invited to her high school graduation last year," said Bruning.

Incredible and inspiring teachers are all around us. But today's teachers often do not have the resources and support to tackle issues that students face, such as mental health and wellbeing.

That's why Walgreens has launched WE Teachers to provide teachers with tools to help their students thrive. Special learning modules developed in partnership with the ME to WE Foundation and Mental Health America provide no-cost training to help teachers navigate the tough social issues into the classroom, including youth violence, diversity and inclusion, mental health and wellbeing, poverty, and bullying.

Teachers have more tangible needs as well, as it's not uncommon for educators to spend their own money to purchase classroom supplies.

Through Walgreens WE Teachers Award, part of WE Teachers, you can nominate educators who go above and beyond like Mrs. Bruning, Mr. Cole and Mr. Weiss to receive a $500 Walgreens gift card, which is the average amount teachers spend out-of-pocket on supplies annually. At least 500 nominated teachers will receive a WE Teachers Award. To learn more about the awards and how to nominate an amazing teacher, visit walgreens.com/metowe. Teachers can apply, too.

When you shop back to school at Walgreens, you're joining their commitment to support teachers and schools across America. When we support teachers, the future is brighter for all of us.

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Pfizer
Pfizer
Equality

Women are still underrepresented in leadership roles. Executive Sally Susman hopes to change that.

Pfizer

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Pfizer

Women make up 50.8 percent of the population in the U.S. and earn more than 57 percent of undergraduate degrees and 59 percent of master's degrees. Yet they make up only a small percentage of CEOs at Fortune 500 and S&P 500 companies, according to research from the Harvard Business Review.

While it's clear women have the skills needed to be effective leaders, there's a lack of opportunity available. A 2018 report called Women in the Workplace found that only 38 percent of companies set targets for gender representation.

Seeing women in leadership positions is not only important for representation, but it also helps inspire other women. Eighty-six percent of U.S. women report that seeing other women in leadership positions breaks down the barrier to imagining themselves in those positions, according to a KPMG Women's Leadership Study.

One such leader paving the way for women is Sally Susman, Executive Vice President and Chief Corporate Affairs Officer at Pfizer. Susman, whose experience spans over three decades, previously held top roles at Estée Lauder and American Express. She also held appointed positions in the Clinton and Obama Administrations and serves as co-chair of the board of the International Rescue Committee and on the board of WPP plc, an advertising and marketing company based in the U.K.

Susman's experience puts her in the position to inspire future leaders and help them reach their goals. To do so, she partnered with Upworthy to share what she calls "Simple Truths," or advice she's learned throughout her 30-plus years in business and politics, to help others succeed.

Over the years, Susman learned that people matter most. She said one of her proudest accomplishments has been building a "fantastic team" of "talented, dedicated, and purpose-driven people" at Pfizer.

Susman also shared the importance of resilience, a trait she considers to be ageless.

She stressed seizing the opportunities that come from a new beginning.

Her last piece of advice: know what works best for you.

As a business leader, engaged citizen, and influencer, Susman is passionate about supporting women at all levels of their career. She can be found on LinkedIn where she frequently shares stories, advice and inspiration.

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