upworthy
More

5 reasons parenting is the world's hardest job — and what makes it all worthwhile.

Parenting is the hardest job on the planet.

Air traffic control? Super stressful job. Brain surgeon? Not for the faint of heart. But parents take on the most relentless and challenging work on Earth every single day. Here's what makes raising humans the toughest job:

1. The responsibility is immense, and the stakes are incredibly high — yet there is no manual.

The first time you hold your baby — the weight of their entire life in your hands — it's nearly impossible not to be overwhelmed. You question whether you're adequate for the task, and the fact that you have no real idea what you're doing hits you. This is a person's life we're talking about. How did you get put in charge of a life?


And no matter how many experts you talk to or parenting books you read, you discover that children always find a way to thwart their wisdom and keep you on your toes. What works with one child is totally ineffectual with another. Your job is to nurture these tiny humans physically, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually — and you basically have to figure it out as you go along.

A story for the ages . . .

Posted by Annie Reneau, Writer on Tuesday, February 16, 2016

2. It’s physically and emotionally exhausting — and there are no real breaks.

Unless you’re lucky, you start off parenting with months of sleep deprivation that you never seem to catch up from. Even after kids figure out how to sleep, they wake you up because they're scared, they wet the bed, their pajamas are "scratchy," they're dying of thirst, or 5 a.m. on Saturday seems like a good time to party. Later, they choose your bedtime to have their most profound, hours-long heart-to-heart talks with you.

And in this constantly tired state, you are expected to be "on" 24/7. You must feed these people several times a day, every day, or they'll die. Dealing with their bodily functions feels like a full-time job in certain stages. And those are just the bare basic physical needs.

Until you're in it, it's impossible to understand the mental and emotional work that goes into parenting. You field 583,417 questions — half of which are unanswerable — in a kid's fourth year of life alone. You have to teach kids to navigate social and emotional landscapes that you yourself are still figuring out, and inevitably, at least one child will exhibit a behavior that you never even knew existed and have no idea how to handle.

Who knew Guns n' Roses had such a bead on parenting?

Posted by Annie Reneau, Writer on Monday, June 6, 2016

Parenting taxes the body, brain, and heart — and it's nonstop. Even if you get a physical break, you're always thinking about their wellbeing.

3. If the exhaustion doesn't get you, the worry might.

When my first child was a baby, I watched an "Oprah" episode about child abduction, and I've pretty much been terrified ever since. Like exhaustion, the worry waxes and wanes but never really stops.

Before kids, my definition of "overprotective" was something totally different than it is now. And thanks to the internet, parents have a whole host of concerns that generations past didn't have. Technology can open awesome new worlds of learning and exploration for our kids, but literally one click can lead them into a world of sick and twisted depravity.

You don't want to be neurotic, but you need a healthy amount of concern in order to make wise choices. Discerning what's worth worrying about and what's not is a constant — and exhausting — balancing act.

If I had a nickel . . .

Posted by Annie Reneau, Writer on Saturday, April 8, 2017

4. You don't get a paycheck — and in fact, this job costs you money.

Parenting comes with more responsibility and stress than any occupation, but there's no paycheck, no seasonal bonuses, no monetary compensation of any kind.

In fact, generally speaking, the more time you spend parenting, the less money you make. There's also no paid leave. You usually have to pay someone else to watch your kids so you can have "time off."

Your superhuman ability to multi-task, keen attention to detail, and devotion to the job will not be noticed by the boss and rewarded with a promotion or a raise. In fact, you'll be lucky if these skills and qualities are noticed by anyone.

5. Yet we do our best anyway because our love for our kids is unparalleled — and the rewards are priceless.

Honestly, if we didn't love our children, they'd be a lot easier to raise. We wouldn't worry about them or bother figuring out what's best for them. We'd sleep through the night and let them cry until they turn blue. We'd plop them in front of the TV with Cheetos and root beer to keep them quiet and go about our days in peace.

But we do love them. The heart-swelling, Earth-shattering, all-consuming love we have for our kids is what makes us get up at 3 a.m. to chase away bad dreams, dutifully wipe a butt for the 2054th time, and agonize over meal-planning and screen-time limits.

And that love is also the reward we get for a job well done.

Love creates the challenge of parenting yet makes it all worthwhile. It's the cause of our parenting woes yet also the cure. My kid could be driving me up the wall one minute, but when he lays his head on my shoulder and says, "I love you, Mommy," I fall head-first into that gushy cloud of kid-love that has propelled the human race forward for millennia. Those moments always remind me that the joy ultimately outweighs the hard.

As much as I don't like the occasional kick when BoyWonder climbs into bed with us in the wee hours, I do love waking up...

Posted by Annie Reneau, Writer on Thursday, June 4, 2015

So keep on keepin' on, parents. Here's to you and the vital, daily, unacknowledged work you put into raising good humans.

Autumn de Forest

Autumn de Forest stands before a sign with her name on it

When Autumn de Forest was 5, she picked up a paintbrush for the first time. It wasn't long before she was ready to show the world what she could do.

After a year of practice, the then-6-year-old asked her father if he could get her a booth at a local art-in-the-park program. "People would come up to the booth, and they would talk to my father, and they'd say, 'This is great!'" she said. "Apparently they thought it was Take Your Daughter to Work Day."

Almost everyone thought the artwork was her father's. And when they found out that tiny Autumn was the artist, people couldn't believe their eyes.


art, kids, art genius, kid genius Autumn created this piece when she was just 5 years old. Autumn de Forest

Soon, Autumn rose to national fame.

When Autumn was 8, she was featured on the Discovery Health Channel. There was a slew of media attention in the years that followed. There was Disney. There was The Today Show. There was Wendy Williams. She was called a child genius, a prodigy, and an expert painter.


autumn deforest, art, kids, paintingSoon, Autumn rose to national fame.Autumn Deforest


Suddenly, Autumn de Forest was everywhere.

But not everyone was so accepting of the young artist and her work. Some people in the art world had ... questions. Sure, she was good for a kid. But was her art actually good? Others wondered if the whole thing might be an elaborate hoax.

Autumn decided not to listen.

By 14 she developed a startlingly organized daily routine that went far beyond a 9 to 5.

Somehow, as the focus on her age begins to wear off, Autumn's work ethic and art only grow stronger. She said that most days, she'd wake up in her parents' Las Vegas home at 7:30 a.m. After breakfast, she'd break out her supplies for a one- or two-hour painting session. From there, she dove into her school work. Most brick-and-mortar schools can't accommodate her travel schedule, so she did the majority of her schooling online.

Before dinner, it's back into the studio.

"That session can last much longer, that can be three or four hours when I really get into it," she said. "Then I probably have dinner and go to bed."

kids, painting, artistic genius, paintings, kid artists Autumn de Forest paints Autumn de Forest


The results? They speak for themselves.

Autumn de Forest, painting, art, kids, prodigy An Autumn de Forest painting Autumn de Forest

Her work has been displayed in galleries and exhibitions all over the world.

Autumn held a public demonstration before a showing at The Butler Institute of American Art.

Autumn de Forest, painting, kids, artAn Autumn de Forest painting Autumn de Forest

In 2015, Autumn received the International Giuseppe Sciacca Award in Painting and Art.

The award took her to the Vatican for a private showing of her artwork with the pope.


She's also worked with the President's Committee on the Arts and the Humanities, headed up by former First Lady Michelle Obama.

Autumn de Forest, the Pope, Pope Francis, painting, artAutumn de Forest stands with the Pope who looks at one of her paintings Autumn de Forest

As part of the program, de Forest traveled to underprivileged schools around the country and led painting workshops. Oh, and if you're looking for some hard numbers to attach to Autumn's talent, she's got those, too.

Her paintings raked in over $7 million at auctions by the time she was a teenager — fetching as much as $25,000 each — much of which has gone directly to charities and disaster relief funds.


At 23-years-old now, what's Autumn de Forest up to lately?

Autumn de Forest, painting, art, kidsAutumn de Forest works with other young painters Autumn de Forest

A lot!

The transition from child prodigy to respected artist has kept her busy.

In 2017, the Monthaven Arts and Cultural Center in Hendersonville, Tennessee hosted a major solo exhibition for de Forest titled "Her White Room: The Art of Autumn de Forest."

That same year, de Forest was listed as one of Teen Vogue's "21 Under 21." In her profile she was praised for her talent as well as her commitment to art education.

"In dis­advantaged schools, they consider the arts an extracur­ricular activity," she told Teen Vogue. "It's devastating, as there could be child prodigies in these schools, but they don't know that they have this God-­given gift because they're not given the opportunity because there's nearly no art programs in schools."

In 2018, de Forest was featured in the music video for the song "Youth" by best-selling recording artists Shawn Mendes and Khalid. The video highlights exceptional young people working to change the world, including de Forest, Emma González, and Elias and Zion Phoenix.

The video has over 17 million plays on YouTube.

And of course, Autumn continues to share her absolutely incredible artwork on Instagram and in shows and exhibitions around the globe.

The Autumn de Forest Foundation, helps her keep track of the kids she's met throughout the years and to continue to help them with their art careers.

A portion of the foundation's money goes to a 529 account set up for the students while 10% goes to them directly.

"A lot of these kids that I work with, they're not very old, they're in second grade, third grade, fourth grade. Maybe in 10 years, they may only have four or five thousand dollars but that could be the difference between them going to college or not," Autumn told Teen Vogue.

Autumn's incredible rise in the art world is an astonishing feat for someone who's still in her teens. But that accomplishment is easily matched by her generosity and commitment to helping develop tomorrow's prodigies as well.

For more information, visit the Autumn de Forest Foundation.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

Photo by Tod Perry

Why are there rough lines on bathroom towels?

Software engineer Nate McGrady has attracted a lot of attention and stirred passionate debate on X because he dared to question a part of our everyday lives that most of us are so accustomed to, we hardly notice it. What’s the deal with the rough lines that interrupt the softness of a standard bathroom towel? Just about every towel has them, so there must be a reason, right?

One would assume they serve a purpose because why else would manufacturers inject rough patches into otherwise soft towels? Also, over time and after repeated washes, they can cause the towel to lose its shape, making it harder to fold. McGrady posed the question to the folks of X, and the tweet received over 91 million views.

“What is the purpose of this part of a towel?” McGrady wrote. “I’m convinced that it only exists to shrink and make it impossible to fold the towel nicely, causing you to buy another towel.” Could the rough lines be there as a sort of planned obsolescence? If we removed the rough lines, would towels last a few years longer, costing the towel industry billions?


Many people scratched their heads when the question was asked, so instead of solving the problem, they took the opportunity to make jokes about the lines in the towel.


The post also inspired some people to come up with answers that challenged our fundamental understanding of scenes, physics, and reality in general.


Some brave people took a genuine shot at answering the question many of us had been wondering about but nobody had thought to ask.


Alas, with the help of Google and AI consulting, the commenters answered correctly: the lines are called the Dobby border, or Dobby weave.


What is the dobby border on a towel?

Towel Hub, a towel wholesaler, explained the dobby border's important function in the life of a common bathroom towel.

“Known as a dobby border, this woven strip helps prevent fraying, improves absorbency, and gives towels a professional, polished look,” the site said. “The woven strip at both ends acts as reinforcement, securing the fabric’s edges and preventing them from unraveling. This small but crucial feature ensures that towels remain intact, even after dozens of washes, making them a reliable choice for both businesses and home use.”

The site adds that towels with too-thin edges take longer to dry and can feel unnecessarily heavy. “The dobby border eliminates excess bulk while keeping the towel strong and absorbent,” the site says.

Interestingly, McGrady’s initial theory about the Dobby border was that it was there to shrink towels and force people to replace them more often. However, Towel Hub shares that its goal is the opposite: the border helps towels remain in shape, significantly benefiting places like hotels that must maintain thousands of towels.

Even though McGrady’s assumption about the dobby border was incorrect, kudos to him for putting himself out there and asking a question that we’ve all thought about but never asked. Now, prepare yourself to wow people at your next cocktail party. "Hey! You guys know why there's a rough part on just about every bathroom towel?"

Heroes

Instacart delivery driver trusted her gut instinct and ended up saving a customer's life

"You're supposed to take a picture and leave, and I could not just leave."

Jessica Higgs had a sense that something wasn't right at a customer's house and her action saved his life.

One the more mysterious aspects of being human is our sense of intuition. This "sixth sense" isn't something we can see or measure, but many people have experienced it in some form or fashion. Maybe it comes as a strong feeling that something isn't right, or that we or someone else should or shouldn't do something. It can be hard to read—not every feeling we get is truly our intuition—but there are plenty of examples of people trusting their instincts and being glad they did.

One such story has gone viral on TikTok. Jessica Higgs, a mom who works as an Instacart grocery delivery person, shared a story in an emotional video that illustrates the importance of listening to that inner voice when it prompts you to make sure someone is OK.

"I just want to start this off by saying if you see something, say something," Higgs said.

Animated GIFGiphy

She explained how she had done an Instacart order the previous day for a daughter who was ordering for her older dad who couldn't shop for himself. She said she was going the extra mile like she always does for her customers, and that the daughter told her to just drop the groceries on the porch and he'd get them. That's what Higgs would usually do.

"I get there and something was telling me no, you gotta help this man out," she said. "He came out, and I was like OK let me help you, and I got the groceries. You're not supposed to go into someone's house, but I used my judgment and I brought the groceries inside and put them down wherever he wanted me to put them down. You're not supposed to, but I did. And you're supposed to just take a picture and leave, and I could not just leave."



@jessicahiggs3

@Instacart #28DaysOfEucerin #fyp



Higgs noticed that the man looked really sick and she was really concerned. A voice in her head said, "You gotta say something. You gotta say something, Jess." Rather than mark the order as complete, she messaged the man's daughter and told her that it was really unprofessional to say something like this, but she felt like her dad wasn't doing well. "There's a propane tank in there," she told the woman. "I was in there maybe five feet and I got dizzy. There's got to be a leak. He might not be doing good because of this leak."

The woman said she would send her son over to check it out and Higgs left. The woman changed her tip from $14 to $100, which Higgs appreciated, but the message she sent her the next morning was a much greater reward for her going the extra mile.

"Thank you so much, once my son went to check on my dad it turned out it was definitely leaking," she wrote. "You definitely saved my dad and my younger son's life!!!"

Through tears, Higgs said, "I'm just an Instacart worker, but if you see something, say something. I did and I'm so happy I did."

Higgs' TikTok has been viewed more than 15 million times and has been shared widely on social media. It has also attracted the attention of big companies.

Royal Caribbean Cruises shared a TikTok video of its own praising Higgs for her heroic act and offering her and her family a seven-day cruise anywhere in the world. "Cause even heroes need a vacation," the company wrote.



@royalcaribbean

Stitch with @jessicahiggs3 - cause even heroes need a vacation. Thanks @captaincruiseguy



Old Navy connected with her and arranged a shopping spree where she got to model several new outfits. People Magazine commented, "You’re literally a HERO! Good job trusting your instincts. 💕" Even TikTok itself wrote, "You are amazing ❤️thank you for sharing this with all of us."

Lots of commenters also pointed out that she's not "just an Instacart worker." Her work is important, she's providing a needed service and any job done in a spirit of helping others should not be minimized. If she hadn't been there doing her job well, that man may not be here. Never underestimate the difference each of us can make by the simple act of looking out for one another, friend and stranger alike.

Higgs' heartfelt story touched millions, and she's being rightly rewarded for listening to her heart and going out of her way to help someone. Gotta love seeing good things come to people doing good. Well done, Jessica Higgs.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

Canva Photos

Alpha males share their cringe takes.

The 'manosphere' is a multi-million dollar industry. If you've never heard of it, you've probably heard of some of its major figureheads like Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson. They profit by claiming to teach impressionable young men, and lonely older men, how to be alpha males so that they can attract more women, more success, and the respect and happiness they crave.

The advice usually starts out pretty innocuous. You've got to get in shape and get your life in order! But it quickly spirals into the deeply misogynistic and, from there, even the ludicrous.

Guys are sharing the worst 'alpha male' tips they've ever heard and, yeesh, are they painful to read. Most of these come from pretty extreme fringes of the men's movement, but the scary thing is that a lot of this stuff is really out there being recommended. Lucky for us, we get to laugh at how ridiculous it all is.

1. Real men don't eat salad / The all meat diet

meat, all meat diet, manly mealGiphy

Social media users on Reddit's r/AskMen subreddit sounded off in the thread:

"I once ordered a salad and water with some lemon and got razzed endlessly by the guys who were with me. Apparently, it was not a 'manly' meal. Joke’s on them, I was the only one among them that didn’t have a beer belly and probably artery disease."

"The number of guys who think it's unmanly to eat vegetables is insane."

It calls to mind Jordan Peterson's famous all-meat-and-only-meat diet. Never mind that eating outrageous amounts of meat is a great way to fast-track the destruction of the planet, almost all doctors and nutritionists agree that eating a diet of only or mostly meat is a horrible idea that deprives your body of many key nutrients. Too much meat can lead to high cholesterol and heart disease, among many other problems, including feeling absolutely horrible all the time.


2. Real men don't display love and affection for their partners

My father told me never say I love you to a woman and never buy a woman flowers. He's been divorced twice last time I talked to him.

Crying on your wedding day? Pathetic! The manfluencers would definitely have you believe that buying flowers, planning dates, or displaying any amount of sentimentality costs you crucial alpha points. Happy husbands everywhere would gladly disagree.

3. Sex with the woman on top / going down on a woman is not manly

So-called "alpha males" are supposed to sleep with tons of women, but only in an approved masculine manner. Being in any kind of sexually submissive position is, apparently, unmanly.

This one sparked plenty of jokes in the thread: "Fellas, is it gay to have sex with a woman?"

4. Wiping your butt is gay

confusion, gag, dumbGiphy

Yes, sadly, this is a real one. It's a documented phenomenon. Women are complaining all across the Internet upon discovering that the men they're with refuse to wipe their butts because...wait for it...touching in between your own butt cheeks is gay, and using hygiene products (including toilet paper!) is feminine.

"That is apparently a newer trend among some of the Andrew Tate toxic 'alpha male' crew. A couple women have complained on other reddit subs about their partners no longer wiping or washing his butt. The general response is to tell him that they didn't marry a toddler and he needs to wipe his ass or leave."

5. Carrying an umbrella or wearing a coat is girly

Men vs umbrellas. It's an ongoing war as old as time itself.

“Umbrellas are for protection,” an expert told Buzzfeed. “Men often interpret protection from the weather as a subtle sign of weakness. Social norms dictate that men shouldn’t be afraid of getting wet, should embrace the elements, and don’t need protection. As antiquated as this may sound, it still rings true for many men. ‘Real men don’t need an umbrella, because real men aren’t afraid of the rain.’”

Same goes for jackets and coats:

"Also, the whole 'men don’t need a jacket/coat/feel the cold.'Like DUDE it’s literally snowing and you’re shaking. Take my jacket you’re being sad rn"


6. Real men don't wear purple/pink

"My ex father in law told me 'real men don't wear purple.' It was a f*cking throwback Randy Moss jersey."

An oldie but a goodie: Real alphas don't wear girly colors! Only problem is, there's nothing inherently feminine about pink, purple, yellow, or any color, really. And that's not just lip service: Pink even used to be known as primarily a masculine color, so maybe we're the ones who have it backwards.


7. Alpha males don't cook

gif, cook, Gordon RamseyGiphy

"Men shouldn’t cook! …. I mean men don’t eat? So why shouldn’t they cook?"

"It's weird. When I tell people I do most of the cooking at home, I get weird faces and comments"

"[It's OK] to cook and get payed for it but if you do it for free for yourself or your family it’s weird."

This is a weird one, because outside of needing to occasionally cook for yourself so you, you know, don't die of starvation — many of the world's greatest and most successful chefs are men. Guess they're all beta losers!

8. Alpha males don't wash their hands, care about their appearance, or tend to basic hygiene

We've already learned the unfortunate truth that some men are too fragile in their heterosexuality to wipe their butt, but the problem sadly and grossly extends even further.

"Every time I go to the bathroom I reckon about a third of men actually wash their hands and half of that use soap"

Maybe it's because they're being told by segments of the manosphere that wanting to be clean or, God forbid, smell good, is girly and beta behavior.


9. Real men save up their magical semen

The manosphere has all kinds of ridiculous notions about male reproductive fluid, including that it can cure women's depression and that they can get addicted to it. Really! They also say it contains a man's life force and must be cherished at all costs.

"Most proponents of semen retention also say it gives them more confidence and self-control, less anxiety and depression, increased motivation, better memory, concentration and improved cognitive function," say the experts at Healthy Male. "Again, there is no evidence to support these claims."

For the record, there really is no such thing as "alpha males" in humans.

The term is loosely based on a problematic and recanted study involving the social hierarchies of wolves. Even in some primate species, where alphas do exist, it's rarely based on which one is the biggest or strongest alone. Humans are more complicated still. There are traits in men that are correlated with "social dominance," like being tall, having a deep voice, or sporting a handsome face. But there really is no one type of male person that is better or more desirable than another, and there is no exact set of behaviors that can be adopted to guarantee all the riches life has to offer. Even if there was, I'd be willing to bet that "not wiping your butt," would not be one of them.

Joy

Costco employees let nonverbal autistic boy scan items after noticing he's overwhelmed

"Today, two Costco employees showed us what kindness and patience really look like. 💙"

Canmenwalker/Wikipedia

Mom shares emotional video of Costco employees letting nonverbal autistic son scan items.

Going to Costco can be an overwhelming experience for everyone. Between dodging shopping carts, weaving in and out of crazy traffic patterns, and finding your way down crowded aisles, there is no denying that Costco can be an overstimulating (and anxiety-producing) place. And for TikToker Kels (@kelsmflee) and her 3-year-old nonverbal son on the autism spectrum, their trip was made much more peaceful thanks to two mindful employees who noticed he was struggling.

Kels shared a touching video to her followers on TikTok showing the kindness they were given while checking out during a busy shopping trip. "Most days, trips to the store are overwhelming for my autistic, nonverbal 3-year-old. But today, two Costco employees showed us what kindness and patience really look like. 💙 Thank you for making our day unforgettable," she captioned the video.

@kelsmflee

Most days, trips to the store are overwhelming for my autistic, nonverbal 3-year-old. But today, two Costco employees showed us what kindness and patience really look like. 💙 Thank you for making our day unforgettable. #KindnessMatters @Costco Wholesale #AutismAwareness #ParentingJourney #NonverbalAutism #KindnessCounts #CostcoLove #SpecialNeedsParenting #GratefulHeart #EmpathyInAction

In the video, Kels' son can be seen helping the Costco employee ring up their items. He holds the scanner as the employee holds each item up to him and shows him where to scan each one. "Most people stare when my autistic, nonverbal 3-year-old son has a tough time in stores..." her caption within the video reads. "But today, two Costco employees noticed his struggle and handed him the scanner and let him ring up every item. Kindness like this changes everything. Thank you for making our day!"

Costco, shopping, costoc tripHype Bryce GIF by GranarlyGiphy

The video got an emotional response from viewers on TikTok. "This is the way our world should be. Slowing down to take a moment like this and create a core memory," one commenter wrote.

Another added, "He did so well!!! Costco is overwhelming a typical person! I can’t imagine how it is for someone with Autism. What a sweet worker❤️He was so patient and kind. Your son is adorable!"

"🥰🥰🥰 he did amazing," said another, to which Kels replied, "Thank you. We were all so proud—he was most proud though and I love that."

Kels also interacted more in the comments, sharing more about their story. "I have a son on the spectrum and it might be a good idea to get some headphones for the little boy when he’s in a loud environment like a Costco. :)," another commenter suggested. Kels shared, "This is my boy. Will not keep them on no matter how much he needs them. Literally. They [end] up broken 100% of the time."

Another viewer wrote, "this is what acceptance looks like🥰," to which Kels replied, "Yes, and we need so much more of it." Finally, another added, "Look at the joy on his face! 🥺", and Kels responded, "Literally so much joy!!"


@kelsmflee

I love how much my kids love each other. #siblings #brother #sister #sissy #siblinglove #proudmom

Kels has three children, and her 3-year-old is her youngest. On her TikTok, she has shared sweet videos of their close and loving relationship with each other over the years. His older siblings are protective and always looking out for him, including during scary visits to Santa Claus. "I love how much my kids love each other," she wrote in another video.