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Mom's comics perfectly illustrate the double standard of how society treats mothers and fathers

Why are expectations for mothers and fathers so different?

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via Momlife_comics/Instagram

"Fun" dad versus "lazy" mom.

Last November, Upworthy published a popular story about Chloe Sexton, a mother who went viral on TikTok for a video she made explaining “daddy privilege” or the idea that fathers are applauded for doing things that mothers are supposed to do. "In my opinion, 'daddy privilege' is that subtle upper hand men sidestep into as parents that allows them to gain praise for simply…being a parent," she said. "

You fed the baby? What a great dad! You held the baby while mommy bathed? So considerate of you! You picked up something for dinner? What would your family do without you?! It's all the little ways mothers do exactly what the world expects of them without a second thought and then watch fathers get praised for simply showing up."

Sadly, the post resonated with a lot of mothers, because it's true. Expectations for fathers are so low that men are commended for handling basic parenting tasks. But if a mother falls short of perfection, she faces harsh criticism.

Mary Catherine Starr, a mother living in Cape Cod who owns a design studio and teaches yoga, is getting a lot of love on Instagram for her cartoon series that perfectly explains daddy privilege.

In "An Illustrated Guide to the Double Standards of Parenting," Starr shares this concept by showing that when a man comes home with fast food for his kids he's the "fun dad." But if a mom comes back with a bag from McDonald's she is seen as a "lazy mom."

In the comics, the same double standards apply whether it's how they handle technology or parent at the park.

(Note: Click the arrow on the right-hand side of the image to see the slideshow.)

Starr was quick to point out in the comments that the target of her comics isn’t fathers, but society at large. “This is not a dig at dads, it's a dig at our society—a society that applauds dads for handling the most basic of parenting duties + expects nothing short of perfection from mothers (or even worse, shames them for every decision and/or move they make!),” she wrote.

The comics resonated with a lot of women.

"This hit a nerve with so many women! I was a single mom living in an apartment,” an Instagram user named Saturdayfarm wrote in the comments. “Next door - a single dad. Neighbors felt so bad for him that they helped him with his laundry, brought over food, and babysat. For nothing. I just shakily carried on somehow. And I had so much less money and opportunities.”

"This is exactly part of the why I feel like being ‘just’ a mom isn’t as valuable. Being so run of the mill. But if my husband has the baby in a sling, the toddler in the pram and is out walking the dog, he’s superman for letting me have one hour for zoom work," rebecca_lee-close_yoga wrote.

A father who understands his privilege completely supports Starr’s message.

"It actually annoys me when I get those types of comments / ‘compliments’ knowing it’s totally a double standard," JonaJooey wrote.

Starr’s comics and Sexton’s TikTok videos won't stop the double standards when it comes to parenting, but they do a great job at holding a mirror up to the problem. Where do we go from here? We can start by having greater expectations for fathers and holding them up to a higher standard. Then, we should take the energy we put into praising dads for doing the bare minimum and heap it on mothers who thanklessly go about the most important job in the world.


This story originally appeared two years ago.

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She fell in love with endangered porpoises at age 7. Now, she's on a mission to save the ocean.

True

When Rachel Heimke was seven, she realized what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. Little did she know a $40,000 BigFuture Scholarship would help her pursue her dreams.

Heimke and her parents were living an unconventional lifestyle, to say the least. The summer after she completed first grade, she and her parents boarded a sailboat and sailed from their hometown in Alaska down the Pacific Coast. The family would spend the next two years traveling on the water, passing Mexico and then sailing across the world to Australia before returning home. It was on the sailboat, watching whales and dolphins breach the water under their boat, that Heimke realized her life’s purpose.

“I was really obsessed with these little porpoises called Vaquitta, who only live in one tiny area of water off the coast of Mexico,” she recalled. “When I learned about them as a kid, there were only 22 left in the wild. Now, there are only ten.” Despite her interest, Heimke was never able to actually see any Vaquitta on her trip, both because of their inherent shyness and because they were so critically endangered due to detrimental fishing policies in the area. “That was my wakeup call,” she says. “I’ll probably never be able to see this porpoise, and I don’t want that to be true of other species.”

Now a young woman of 23, Heimke is realizing her childhood dream of ocean conservation by recently graduating with a Bachelor’s degree in ocean sciences and enrolling in a grad program in Canada to study science communication. Heimke is well on her way to achieving her childhood dream—but she acknowledges that none of this would have been possible without her ocean adventures as a child, the support of her parents, and significant financial support.

At 18, when Heimke was deciding where to study ocean sciences, she stumbled upon an opportunity from BigFuture, College Board's free college and career planning site. The opportunity was the BigFuture Scholarship, which provided students the chance to win a $40,000 scholarship by completing six action items on the website. Heimke was intrigued, since she didn’t need to provide an essay, her GPA, or any test scores to enter. Her eligibility was also not tied to citizenship status or family income, so she decided to give it a shot.

“One of the action items was just going on the BigFuture site and creating a list of colleges I was interested in,” said Heimke. Another item required her to apply for financial aid through FAFSA—something Heimke was planning to do anyway. Every completed action item gave students more chances to win the scholarship, so Heimke completed all six action items quickly.

Months later, Heimke’s parents ushered her over to a call over Zoom, where she met a BigFuture representative who had some surprising news: She was one of 25 students who had won the $40,000 BigFuture college scholarship. Each year she would receive $10,000 in scholarship funding, which would cover her entire tuition bill for all four years of schooling.

“That experience taught me that it’s really important to not give up on your goals and just go for opportunities,” said Heimke. “I never thought I would win anything, but I’ve learned it's worth applying anyway. Even a small scholarship of $1,000 can pay your rent for a month,” she said. “And If you write an essay that takes an hour and you win $5,000, that’s probably the most money per hour you’ll ever make in your life.”

The tuition money made it possible for her to attend college, and for her to apply to graduate school immediately afterward without any financial burdens.

“Now that I’m in graduate school and paying for rent and a phone bill and graduate school tuition, it’s truly a blessing to not have student loan debt on top of that,” Heimke said. Because of the BigFuture scholarship, Heimke doesn’t need to pay for her graduate program either—she’s able to fund her education with the money her parents saved by not having to pay for her undergraduate degree.

One of the biggest blessings, Heimke said, was not needing to delay graduate school to work or find extra funds. With climate change worsening, entering the workforce becomes increasingly important over time.

“I’m not sure exactly what I’ll do with my degrees, but I hope to have a lot of different jobs that ultimately will work toward saving our ocean,” she said.

As a child, witnessing marine life up close and personal was life-changing. Heimke’s goal is for future generations to have that experience, as she did.

To learn more and get started, visit bigfuture.org/scholarships.

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Comedian responds perfectly after Olympic breakdancer 'Raygun' shuts down her parody musical

The Olympic breakdancer threatened legal action but the comedian is getting the last laugh.

Jerm Gonzalo|Pexels and Canva

Olympic breakdancer gets musical canceled, comedian responds

Do you remember that one time breakdancing was an Olympic sport? It was short lived so if you blinked during the 2024 Paris Olympics you might have missed it. But even if you didn't see the Olympics at all, there was no escaping seeing Rachael Gunn, an Australian breakdancer that goes by the name Raygun. The breakdancer went mega viral for her interesting choices during her dance battle on the world stage.

Clips from her big moment where she did the now infamous kangaroo hop and pushed herself in a circle on the floor circulated the internet. Not only did the Aussie accidentally become a meme but she was impersonated on The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon. The backlash was so overwhelming from people around the world that Gunn issued an apology to the breakdancing community in Australia.

While mocking someone's abilities is considered bad form, people still find the dance moves Gunn performed at the Olympics to be amusing. This has lead to other people impersonating the dancer and one of them is a fellow Aussie, comedian Steph Broadbridge. The woman wrote "Raygun: The Musical" and was set to perform the one woman show for $10 per ticket at a local Australian venue until the breakdancer caught wind of it.

Paris Breaking GIF by NoireSTEMinistGiphy

It was then that Broadbridge found her comedic musical facing legal notice from Gunn barring her from performing her show. The letter came at an inopportune time as she was already in dress rehearsal having sold tickets to see the musical. Typically celebrities don't legally object to smaller artists poking fun at them in an impersonation, even if they're not happy about it. But Gunn may not see herself in a celebrity light which may help explain the unexpected reaction.

Broadbridge could've gotten upset or went on with the show forcing Raygun to sue, instead she decided to poke fun at the entire situation with a little dry humor. In a video on her Instagram page, Broadbridge announces the unfortunate news to her fans.

Olympics Breaking GIF by NoireSTEMinistGiphy

"I'm comedian Steph Broadbridge just hanging out in my casual day wear," the woman says as she's clearly wearing the same outfit the Olympic breakdancer wore during her dance battle. "My trail show tonight for 'Raygun: The Musical' has been canceled. Raygun's lawyers got in touch with the venue and threatened legal action so we will be refunding everyone their $10 back for that."

Obviously, Broadbridge was not putting on a full length high budget Broadway musical but that didn't stop the breakdancer from putting a halt to it. The comedian shares a surprising revelation in her announcement saying, "her lawyers trademarked my poster which is flattering, I hope they have fun with that. And they're also worried that I was damaging her brand, which I would never do. She doesn't need me to do that."


The entire video is done in deadpan which made it made the one liners pack a little more of a punch, especially when she reveals that she was told she wasn't permitted to hop like a kangaroo.

"They also said I wasn't allowed to do the dance because she owns the kangaroo dance, that one did puzzle me, I mean that's an Olympic level dance. How would I possibly be able to do that without any formal breakdance training," Broadbridge asks.

The comedian's fans were supportive of Broadbridge but were a bit miffed about Gunn putting a halt to the show with one writing, "I heard that the proceeds from the tickets sold for this were going to charity to help women and children facing homelessness. It makes it even worse that Raygun and her lawyers would still pursue this."


Another person encourages the comedian saying, "This will be amazing publicity. Just need to get it to all the news outlets."

Someone else chimes in, "Steph, this is Olympic level PR parody. How did you do this without any formal training?"

If you want to see the musical, don't worry. Broadbridge doesn't sound like she's giving up anytime soon. The Australian is planning to get around the complaint by changing the name of the main character to "Raigun" so there's no confusion. And while the letter from the breakdancers lawyers say Gunn owns the kangaroo dance, that may be something that is challenged by a court of kangaroos...a kangaroo court if you will–pun intended.

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Sweeping UN study finds that 9 out of 10 people worldwide are biased against women

In other words, 9 out of 10 people worldwide—both men and women—are biased against women in vital areas that impact the world in major ways.

Photo by Joe Gardner on Unsplash

It's easy to feel unseen.

In 2020, the United Nations Development Programme (UNDP) released the Gender Social Norms Index , which offers a look at gender equality as measured by people's personal gender bias. The data, which was collected from 75 countries covering 81% of the world's population, found that 91% of men and 86% of women show at least one clear bias against women in the areas of politics, economics, education, and physical integrity.

In other words, 9 out of 10 people worldwide—both men and women—are biased against women in vital areas that impact the world in major ways. Splendid.

It would be easy to assume that these numbers are skewed by countries where women are blatantly oppressed, and that is somewhat true. However, a majority was found to hold no gender biases in just six of the 75 countries studied—and no, the U.S. was not among them. Nope, not Canada either.

Andorra, Australia, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, and Sweden were the only countries where a majority of people showed no clear gender bias. (Andorra came on way on top, with 73% of its population showing no bias—the only country to top 70%. Go Andorra.)

Where did the U.S. and Canada stand? According to the study, 43% of Americans hold no gender bias while Canada clocks in at 48%. Basically, if you're sitting in a stadium full of people as a woman in North America, half of the people you're looking at likely harbor some kind of clear bias against you. Same goes if you're a woman competing in a sport, giving a talk at a conference, or—ahem—running for public office.

Perhaps the most unnerving stats from the report are these:

- About 50% people—both men and women—think men make better political leaders than women

- About 40% of people think men make better business leaders than women

- Close to 50% of men believe that men have more right to a job than women

- About 30% believe that it's justifiable for a man to beat his intimate partner

Ummm, that last one? Holy moly.

two women sitting on beach facing ocean sunset

Being a women can feel isolating.

Photo by Briana Tozour on Unsplash

What's just as concerning is that despite decades of progress on women's rights, bias against women is increasing in some countries among both men and women. And this is the case even among some countries that scored well on the index. Bias in top-six country Sweden, for example, actually increased over the nine years the study covered.

"The share of both women and men worldwide with moderate to intense gender biases grew from 57 percent to 60 percent for women and from 70 percent to 71 percent for men," the report states, adding: "Surveys have shown that younger men may be even less committed to equality than their elders."

That last part is worth repeating. Evidence points to young men being less committed to gender equality than older generations. That is not good news for the future, folks.

Of course, we have made big strides across the globe in terms of increasing access to education, improving healthcare for women, and other areas. But women still don't have a place at most of the decision-making tables, and we obviously still have social norm hurdles to overcome to achieve true gender equality.

"We have come a long way in recent decades to ensure that women have the same access to life's basic needs as men," said Pedro Conceição, head of UNDP's Human Development Report Office. "We have reached parity in primary school enrollment and reduced maternal mortality by 45 percent since the year 1990. But gender gaps are still all too obvious in other areas, particularly those that challenge power relations and are most influential in actually achieving true equality. Today, the fight about gender equality is a story of bias and prejudices."

Results of the study indicate a backlash to the push for gender equality. Indeed, change is uncomfortable for many people and progress is often a two steps forward, one step back process. For sure, social norms are more complex and challenging to change than laws.

"Policymakers often focus on the tangible—on laws, policies, spending commitments, public statements and so on," the report states. "This is driven partly by the desire to measure impact and by sheer impatience with the slow pace of change. Yet neglecting the invisible power of norms would miss a deeper understanding of social change."

Social norms also directly impact progress made in all areas. Currently, no country in the world is on track to meet the gender equality goals by Sustainable Development Goal target of 2030. With stats like these, that's not shocking.

Clearly, something to keep in mind as we advocate for gender equality is how to effectively address people's core beliefs about women and equality in general. Legal progress without social progress is shaky at best, and true gender equality won't become reality unless people believe that it should.

It appears we have some serious work ahead of us on that front.


This article originally appeared four years ago.

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Teacher reveals the 'really obvious' reason teens no longer read. It's not just the phones.

"Kids who read are just built different."

via Canva/Photos

A teenage boy stars at his smartphone.

Studies show that kids are spending a lot less time reading these days. In 2020, 42% of 9-year-old students said they read for fun almost daily, down from 52% in 2012. Seventeen percent of 13-year-olds read for fun daily, down from 27% in 2012. Among 17-year-olds, 19% say they read for fun, down from 31% in 1984.

It’s safe to say that modern technology is a big reason why kids aren’t reading as much. A recent report found that teenagers spend an average of 8 hours 39 minutes per day on screens, compared to 5-and-a-half hours for pre-teen children. So, it’s no wonder they don’t have any time left to crack open a book. A high school teacher on TikTok who goes by the name StillATeacher recently brought the topic up with her class, and they stopped reading for fun at the end of middle school.

“So even those who are like avid readers of the Percy Jackson series in fourth and fifth grade fall off,” the teacher says. “Honestly, there are many reasons to stop reading recreationally, like increased pressure inside and outside of school, a desire to spend more time socializing, and, of course, the phones.”

But the teacher says there’s an obvious reason “right in front of our faces”: the adults. “Adults have lowered the bar for how much you should read as a teenager so far that the bar cannot be found,” she continued. “There are many educators who have the mindset that you shouldn't teach whole books because kids just won't read them.”

@stillateacher

the literacy crisis is upon us #teachertok #teacher #highschoolteacher #englishteacher #education #literacy #booktok #creatorsearchinsights

“I've taught at schools where teaching novels is actually discouraged,” she continued. “And I have conversations with teachers in other content areas who say that they themselves never read books, that they don't think it's important for students' long-term success. All this said, it is not entirely surprising that high schoolers don't wanna read.”

How does reading benefit kids?

The significant decrease in the number of children who read for fun means that many will miss out on the incredible benefits of regularly curling up for a good book. Studies show that children who read for pleasure enjoy improved cognitive performance, language development, and academic achievement. Reading is also linked to fewer mental health problems, less screen time, and more sleep. Findings suggest that kids get the optimal benefits of reading when they do it for around 12 hours a week.



“You forgot empathy,” one commenter added. “People who read are better at empathizing because they have been able to put themselves in the shoes of others and learn about different perspectives, people, cultures, experiences.”

StillATeacher has seen these incredible benefits first-hand.

“But I'm telling you, the handful of kids I teach who do read are built different. Kids who read have stronger critical thinking skills, more success across all academic areas, and, honestly, just a stronger sense of self. Because reading helps you figure out who you are as a person,” the teacher said.

The decline in young people's reading is a serious problem that must be addressed. So, it’s terrific that the teacher used her platform on TikTok to bring it to the public’s attention. Interestingly enough, she says that TikTok is one of the few platforms encouraging kids to read.

“And honestly, thank goodness for BookTok because I think it is one of the only drivers of adolescent reading that still exists,” she concluded her post. “Isn't that sad? Like, the schools aren't doing it, TikTok's doing it. We gotta start a movement here.”

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Pennsylvania man's wilderness camera captures all walks of life crossing log bridge

There's something incredibly soothing about this video.

via Bob's Pennsylvania Wildlife Camera


Robert Bush Sr. is an avid outdoorsman who runs an account called "Bob's Pennsylvania Wildlife Camera" shared on his Facebook and YouTube pages.

He set up a secret camera on a log that lays across a steam to capture footage of all the different animals that walked across it. The result is a relaxing video featuring all sorts of wildlife including a black bear, chipmunk, coyote, turkey, and great horned owl.



In the introduction to his Facebook page he captures his philosophy that is welcoming to all with a few ground rules:

"I love the outdoors and wildlife and I am not anti-hunting, this page is not about hunting and I will not post any hunting pictures or videos on this page, this page is about the wildlife in the mountains of Pennsylvania. Please do NOT post hunting pictures in the comments, and do not comment about killing the animals or about hunting at all, and do not bash hunters or talk about anti-hunting ... just enjoy the videos."

Well said, Robert. And now, on to the first video:

You may have noticed the video is called "The Log 2." Well, here's the original.

This article originally appeared four years ago.

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People can't get enough of this Italian preschooler's classically Italian rant

Her inflections and gesticulations are just too much.

@guiseppe_matilde/TikTok

An Italian preschooler's Italian rant has people in stitches.

All people have a need to communicate, but the way we do that varies greatly from place to place. Every culture has its own communication peculiarities that make our human family delightfully diverse.

Not only do humans speak thousands of languages around the world, but we also engage in culturally specific speaking styles, speech patterns, and body language—some of which are immediately identifiable.

Case in point: the Italian "finger purse" known in Italian as Mano a borsa.

Italians are known for speaking with their hands. Italian hand gestures can vary between northern and southern Italy, but one of the most universally recognizable is the pinched fingers or "finger purse." That's the gesture in which the tips of the fingers and the thumb are pressed together (forming a purse shape) and pointed upward, often in a repeated back-and-forth or up-and-down motion, sometimes with one hand and sometimes with both. Along with the rhythm of punctuated emphasis on certain words, especially when speaking passionately, the finger purse is often used to convey a question with a sense of annoyance, exasperation, or confusion.

It's a gesticulation most of us associate with a classic Italian grandma or grandpa, but when you see it coming from a tiny little Italian person, it's utterly hilarious.

A viral video, originally shared by (now-deleted user) @guiseppe_matilde on TikTok, shows a preschooler engaging in a passionate rant that is unmistakably Italian, both in the actual language she's speaking and in her hand gestures.

According to Italian speakers in the comments, the little girl is conveying a story about how someone commented negatively about her wearing a miniskirt. User @u/shykawaii_shark on Reddit shared:

"Rough translation for English speakers. Not a literal translation, I made it easier to comprehend

Mother: What kind of sense does that make!

Daughter: They told me 'What sense does going out with a miniskirt make?' Like, think for yourself! I can wear my miniskirt, and you mind your own business!

Mother: Exactly!

Daughter: Think about your own miniskirt, not mine!"

Got a feisty little feminist here.

As adorable as this video is, it's also an example of how culture gets passed on from generation to generation. An Australian study found that young humans across different cultures imitate adults in ways that animals don't. Animals will imitate adult behavior to the extent that it's efficient and necessary to perform a task, whereas humans will mimic even silly or frivolous behaviors that have no purpose whatsoever.

“Animals focus on getting the job done,” Mark Nielsen, a psychologist at the University of Queensland in Brisbane, Australia, told Science. “Humans seem to almost forget about the outcome and copy everything we see.”

That mimicry of unnecessary actions may contribute to the complexity of human cultures. After all, it's not really necessary to do the finger purse to make a point, but Italians do it anyway. Little Italians pick it up from adult Italians, and so the classic Italian communication style is passed on.

And thank goodness it is, because babies gesturing in Italian is absolutely adorable.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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