Parents share the worst children's books they've ever bought, and some are laughably bad
Not all books are created equal.
Sure, a few highly regarded kids books from our youth don’t fully stand the test of time, but by and large you can still count on the classic works of authors like Beatrix Potter, Anna Dewdney, Mo Willems and Dr. Suess (even if a few of his titles underwent some modifications) to be reliable sources for young readers.
With more modern day reads, however, there’s apparently more of a gamble.
This was a lesson learned by one parent, who had endured one too many duds that they ordered online or received as gifts. It prompted them to ask other folks on Reddit:
“What’s the worst kid’s book you’ve come across?”
This person listed their own worst offenders, including a Toy Story book “that turned out to be an AI retelling of the story with the darkest and grainiest screenshots from the movie”; a CoComelon branded book solely comprised of lyrics to Christmas carols; a dinosaur-themed “12 Days of Christmas” book, which sounds great in theory but used a ton of hard-to-pronounce dinosaur names shoehorned in (example: “four Fukuiraptors feasting.” Just…how?); and last but not least, “that awful Jimmy Fallon book where 95% of the words in the book are just ‘mama’.”
In fact, many parents agreed that among the worst titles were often kid’s books created by celebrities. Which is probably not the biggest surprise, since celebrity brands are taking over multiple industries…even though they usually have zero expert knowledge behind any of said products.
As one person put it, what makes these books so laughably bad is that they “are meant to be empowering and mainly consist of ‘you are amazing and unique and loved and can do anything you set your mind to, my special child’ over and over. No plot, no anything, just platitudes.”
Still, there are always exceptions, as many pointed out, like with B.J. Novak’s highly acclaimed The Book With No Pictures. It is worth noting that the Office actor actually is a writer. So there’s that.
Even worse offenders were AI-written books, which are essentially glorified SEO driven blog posts in book form. And, unfortunately, since it’s incredibly easy to churn these out for a small profit, there's probably no shortage in sight. So parents, be aware.
On perhaps a smaller scale, books labeled as “5-minute reads” that tend to be wordy, painful retellings of a show or movie, as well as children’s books that shoehorn in lessons for adults (the book Antiracist Baby came up as an example) should be avoided at all costs, so sayeth disgruntled readers.
And then there were titles that fell into none of these categories, but were nonetheless cringey.
“I picked up a book from a garage sale called Don’t Call me Little Bunny. It’s a German children’s book. I did not read it myself before reading it to [my 4 and 5 year olds]. After being called Little Bunny, the main character is angry. I remember flipping the page and all of a sudden the bunny has a gun.”
“I have come across one where Santa's elves make little girl dolls that are definitely sentient. Then Santa casually looks under their skirts going ‘ho ho ho’, and if the dolls can't say ‘mama’ or aren't cute enough, he throws them on the discard pile. That went straight into the garbage.”
“You ever read any of those [X] for Babies science books? Like, General Relativity for Babies or Newtonian Physics for Babies? Most of them are pretty decent. Yeah obviously stuff gets oversimplified, but it's a board book for kids and it understands the assignment.Most of them. Rocket Science for Babies is extremely, fundamentally wrong in almost every way about what it tries to teach. Its explanation for why rockets fly is that the fins/wings produce lift, which I really hope I don't need to tell you is completely untrue, but on top of that its explanation for how fixed wings produce lift is also completely wrong! We've kept the rest of our [X] for Babies board books, but somehow the Rocket Science one got ‘"lost.’”
Yikes. Well, dearest readers, while a book’s merit is certainly a subjective matter, it seems we can all agree to steer clear from robot drivel and half-assed money grabs.
And you’re looking for fresh finds that aren’t terrible, the ALA has a pretty extensive list here.