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Real women share how mind-bogglingly simple it actually is to approach them in public

"Talk to girls like they are the same as guys."

flirting, relationships, creepy guys
via Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels

A man and woman enjoying a beer.

There are no hard-set rules for how a man should approach a woman in public if he finds her attractive. When considering whether to introduce himself, many questions run through a guy’s head. Is this an appropriate place to approach her? What should I say? Should I ask her for her number? How will I know if she’s interested?

Then, of course, he has to worry about being rejected.

To make things even more complicated, it’s hard to know the social norms in 2024 regarding picking up on someone. Some women may feel it’s always inappropriate for a stranger to approach them and make small talk, while others may welcome the attention.

How to approach women in public

To help single men navigate the tricky waters of being single in 2024, a group of women shared the “best ways to approach” them without coming off as creepy. The women shared many great tips, but they mostly came down to a central point: be friendly and don’t make it sexual. Then, after shooting your shot, listen to her responses and watch her body language to see if she’s interested. If not, kindly leave her alone.



Here are 13 of the best responses to the question: “Single women of Reddit, what's the best way to approach you without coming off as creepy?”

1. Treat 'em like guys

"My approach was just to talk to girls like they are the same as guys. Sometimes we would click and end up dating other times made a friend. If I go into every interaction with the pressure of picking up someone to date, I think that very rarely works."

"This is literally the correct answer; they are just girls/humans. Believe it or not, they like to talk and have hobbies too. All my friends used to tell me how I was so confident because I was not scared to talk to girls, lol."

2. Time and place are important

"Headphones are a universal symbol of ‘I don’t want to be bothered right now.’ If I’m actively dancing with my friends, yelling in my ear on the dance floor is not the place. Wait until I’m at the bar or the smoking area where we can hear each other. If I walk through a desolate park, I will feel alarmed to have a man I don’t know approach me. If I’m at work where I have to speak to you and cannot walk away, that is very unfair on me."

"Generally, if it feels like you’re interrupting something important or a task that takes concentration, you shouldn’t. Approach me as a person first and a potential date second. Start a conversation and talk about life and interests. I don’t find it flattering when the conversation opens with a comment on my body or asking if I have Snapchat."

3. Don't make it sexual

"Creepy = making the interaction sexualized from the start. Be friendly, not flirty to start. One good rule of thumb — if you wouldn't be comfortable saying the same thing to a man you've never met before, then don't say it to a woman."

How to ask a woman for her number

4. Give her your number (don't ask for hers)

"I do prefer the offer of him giving me his number vs him asking for mine. It feels a little less pressured, don't ask me why. I guess being able to reach out when I'm ready vs just suddenly there's a message and then I'm panicked with how long to wait to respond, worrying about if I waited too long, responded too quickly, or heck even just feeling the pressure to respond right away."



5. Don't ask if she's taken

“'Do you have a boyfriend?' should not be the first words out of your mouth. This is almost always the first thing men say to me when they approach me in public (sometimes without even asking my name!!) and it always makes me feel weird."

6. Watch for eye contact

"If I don’t make eye contact, I’m not interested in being approached."

7. Genuine interest

"I can say that the best approach is to be friendly, respectful, and show genuine interest in getting to know me as a person."

8. Compliment what they control

"When giving compliments, focus on things we have control over vs the things we don't. A compliment on my hairstyle or my makeup or the t-shirt I'm wearing will always be more welcome than a comment on the size or shape of my body."

9. Take the hint

"If at any point she starts acting closed off—avoiding eye contact, giving bare-minimum answers, looking for reasons to leave—take the hint and back off. Other than that, let the conversation flow and see if you vibe."



10. Don't move too fast

"As someone who's been married for some time, a mistake I see a lot of guys make is when they approach with the intention of moving on to something physical as soon as possible. It's like you can see their mental checklist and the go/no go decision tree in their head. If it works, it's usually because the woman in the situation was already intending to pick him up anyway."

11. Contact me, if you like

"After sharing a little moment or a laugh (grocery store, library, wherever), cruise by before you leave and hand over your business card (or any piece of paper) with your phone number and email on it. Say: 'It would be nice to see you again. Contact me if you'd like to!' then leave."

12. Some women are waiting for you to approach them

"Honestly, (and I'm absolutely NOT speaking for all women), I feel so frickin invisible on the regular that I would gladly embrace ANY sort of casual hello with a smile. I'm literally starving so just...ANYTHING at this point. If I'm in an aisle at your store, ask me how my day is. If I'm by myself in a line for a Rollercoaster, as is usually the case, ask me if I've ridden the coaster before."

13. Creepy is a feeling

"Creep is something we feel, not think. Two men can say the exact same thing, even something inappropriate, but if their tone, energy, body language whatever, is different, one will feel inherently creepy in our skin. We can feel when someone has bad intent usually."


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Joy

Adorable Golden Retriever absolutely loses it when he runs into his vet at a bar

No one has ever been this excited to see their doctor.

@cosmo_andtheoddparents/TikTok

He wuvs his vet.

Not every dog might jump with joy after seeing their vet out in public. But for Cosmo the Golden Retriever, it was practically Christmas all over again when he spotted his own vet, Dr. Jones, at a brewery.

In an adorable clip posted to TikTok, we see Cosmo in pure, unadulterated bliss as he snuggles with an equally happy Dr. Jones, who, considering he’s still in his scrubs, might have just gotten out of work to grab a quick pint.

Watch:

@cosmo_andtheoddparents When you run into your vet in public #goldenretrieversoftiktok #vetlife #animallovers #petparents #goldenretriever #goldenretrievers #doglife #dogmom #dailyfluff #charlestondogs #doglover #charlestondog #brewerydog ♬ original sound - Cosmo

Ugh, the cuteness is too much to handle! People in the comments could barely contain their secondhand joy.

“He looked over like, “Mom, do you see who this is?” one person wrote, while another said, “What in the Hallmark movie? Adorable!!”

One person even joked, “Did we all check the vet’s hand for a wedding ring? (Said as a married woman. Looking out for you all, or something.)”

According to Hannah Dweikat, Cosmo’s owner, the two actually share quite a history. She tells Upworthy that when Cosmo was but a wee pup, he “gave a scare” after eating a Sago Palm seed, which are highly toxic to dogs, from a plant in their backyard, which of course resulted in him being rushed to the animal hospital and staying there over the weekend.

While that’s every pet owner’s worst nightmare, and certainly a scary situation for the poor fur baby, Dweikat says that “the calm and patient demeanor” of Dr. Jones and his staff put Cosmo at ease. And because of this, “Cosmo has always loved going to see his friends—especially because they give him lots of treats and snuggles.”

Cosmo and Dr. Jones’ buddyship has also blossomed thanks to proximity, as Dweikat only lives down the street from the clinic. “Which means we get to see Dr. Jones and his staff out in public at times and Cosmo takes every chance he can get to say hi,” she explains. This time, however, she was able to capture it all on video. Yay for us!

What makes a good vet?

While not every vet, however gifted, will be able to elicit this type of reaction from their patients, having a calming presence like Dr. Jones is certainly a good sign for pet owners to be on the lookout for when shopping around for their own vet. But that’s not the only quality a good vet needs. According to Saint Matthews University, a vet also needs to have high stamina (both physically and mentally), as well as an ability to tolerate unpleasant situations (you can’t faint at the sight of blood or vomit), a high level of emotional intelligence (maybe all doctors should possess this skill, but especially those who work with animals), adaptability, a sense of enthusiasm, and finally, excellent communication skills.

Dr. Jones seems to have these attributes in spades, and his patients clearly love him for it. None so much as Cosmo, obviously.

By the way, if you’re in need of even more content featuring this precious pup, you can follow Cosmo on both TikTok and Instagram.

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Health

Longevity test: If you can hang from a bar this long, you’re likely to live longer

Hang time is a great measurement of overall health.

via Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels and Dinielle De Veyra/Pexels

How long can you hang out?

Would you really want to know how long you have to live? On one hand, it’d probably inspire you to go out and complete your bucket list. On the other, it may be depressing to know just how many days you have left. Well, science has yet to discover a way to determine the average person's life expectancy, but some indicators can show whether someone is in danger of having their life cut short by deteriorating health.

A study published by Clinical Interventions in Aging in 2019 determined that handgrip strength can be a reliable proxy for how long one has to live. One of the best ways to judge handgrip strength is to time how long you can hang from a bar. To test your grip strength, find yourself a pull-up bar, whether at a gym or local park, take a deep breath, and start hanging.

The study found that 30 seconds is a good target for women and 60 is an excellent goal for men. Therefore, if you go longer than the goal, you’re looking at a long life. But if you can’t quite get there, your life may be shorter than you’d like.



Dr. Peter Attia, founder of Early Medical and author of Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity (2023), believes that grip strength is a great way to determine one’s overall health.

“It's just a great proxy for overall body strength and muscle mass, but I think it's also a very functional form of strength,” he said on The Drive podcast. “Basically, everything in your upper body is mediated through your hands. And if your grip is weak, everything downstream of that is weak. When you watch someone who's got a weak grip deadlifting it's very difficult for them to deadlift correctly because they don't create a proper wedge.

Doctors Eve M. Glazier and Elizabeth Ko at UCLA Health say poor grip strength is connected to numerous diseases. “Research continues to link a decline in grip strength to a range of adverse health issues, including heart disease, arthritis, osteoporosis, Type 2 diabetes and certain cancers. It has also been found to be a predictor of the likelihood of post-surgical complications, post-surgical recovery time and mortality,” they wrote on the UCLA Health blog.

Weight can also significantly affect how long a person can hang from a bar. So, do lighter people have an unfair advantage over those on the heavier side? Well, weight is also an important indicator of longevity. A study published in Aging Cellfound a direct correlation between increased body mass and decreased longevity.



The good news for people who didn’t quite make their hang time goal is that you can improve it by practicing dead hangs.

How to perform a dead hang (according to Healthline):

  • Use a secure overhead bar. Use a step or bench to reach the bar with your arms easily. You don’t want to jump straight into a dead hang.
  • Grip the bar with an overhand grip (palms facing away from you). Aim to keep your arms shoulder-width apart.
  • Move your feet off the step or bench so you’re hanging on to the bar.
  • Keep your arms straight and stay relaxed.
  • If you’re new to the exercise, hang for 10 seconds. Then, work your way up to 45 seconds to 1 minute at a time.
  • Slowly step back onto the step or bench before releasing your arms. Repeat up to 3 times if you wish.

This article originally appeared last year.
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Joy

The world's greatest mentalist reveals 5-second trick to never forget someone's name

It's fun, weird, and will make people like you way more.

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The longer I'm alive, it seems the more people's names that I have to remember. With two kids in school, sports, and other activities, I find myself trying to keep track of dozens of different friends, teammates, siblings, coaches, teachers, and of course, parents. It makes my brain hurt! Lately I've had half a mind to start a spreadsheet so I can start remembering Who's Who.

In order for that to work, I've got to find a way to stop people's names leaving my head immediately after I'm introduced. I know I'm not the only one who does this. It's like people say their name and it just zips right into one ear and out the other! And for that, I went looking for tips when I stumbled upon a good one from a unique sort of expert.

Derren Brown is one of the most famous mentalists in the world, so he knows a thing or two about people. Mentalists are a special breed of magician that focus on tricks and illusions of the mind.

They do things like hynopsis, mind-reading, and impossible predictions. There's trickery, involved, of course; but mentalists are also masters at reading people and have to employ advanced memory techniques to keep track of information they learn during their shows.

In an interview with Big Think, Brown revealed some of his favorite memory hacks; including his 'party trick' to never forget a person's name.

Giphy

The secret is to create a link between the part of your brain that stores information like names, and the visual part of your brain that is more easily accessed.

"You find a link between the person's name and something about their appearance, what they're wearing, their face, their hair, something," Brown says. "You find a link with something that they're wearing so if they're called Mike and they've got big black hair you think, 'Oh that's like a microphone' so I can imagine like a big microphone walking around or if they've got a stripy T-shirt on you imagine a microphone with those stripes going around it.

"And it's the same process later on in the evening you see them, you look at the stripes and you go, 'Oh that's Mike. Oh yeah that's Mike. The hair, why am I thinking the hair is like a big microphone? Oh yes, of course, they're called Mike.'"

Microphone Mike! Any sort of alliteration based on a physical characteristic will work. Stripey Steve, Tall Tim, Green Gene. The more interesting and unique, the better you'll remember.

There is one catch with the technique: You have to actually listen and pay attention when someone tells you their name!

"So, you do have to listen that's the first thing when they say the name," Brown says. "Normally the very moment where someone is giving you their name you're just caught up in a whole lot of social anxiety anyways you don't even hear it, so you have to listen."

Using someone's name when you talk to them has tons of benefits. It conveys respect, friendliness, and intimacy. When you're on the receiving end and someone you've just met uses your name, it just feels good! It feels like it matters to them that they met you.

"And then at the end [of the party] you get to go around and say goodbye to everybody by name and everyone thinks you're very charming and clever," Brown quips.

Listen to the entire, fascinating interview here.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Brown's name-remembering technique is tangential to an ancient philosophy called the "Method of loci".

The method involves attaching things to be remembered (numbers, tasks, facts) to specific places that are easy to visualize in your head. Imagine taking a brain-walk down the street you live on and all the objects or places you might see there. The mailbox, the gnarled tree, the rusty fire hydrant. This memory method asks you to visually associate one thing you want to remember with each item or location. The more strange and visual the image you can create, the better! Brown uses the example of trying to shove a sparkling-clean shirt into his mailbox, reminding him to do his drycleaning.

When you need to recall the item, you just take a little walk in your head down the street.

(Did you know that there's a World Championship of Memory? Most of the best competitors use a version of this technique.)

Giphy

The name hack isn't so dissimilar. You're attaching an intangible, abstract thing (a name) to a specific visual image you can see in your head and even in the real world. But that's just one way of getting better at remembering names! There are all kinds of tips, hacks, and methods you can try.

Some people swear by repeating the name immediately after hearing it. "Hi, my name is Jake." "Hi, Jake, nice to meet you!" (Just don't say someone's name too frequently or you risk coming off a bit slimy.)

Others use a technique similar to Brown's loci idea, but instead of a visual, you lean on things that are already deeply engrained in your memory, like rhymes or free-association. or even celebrities. Mary - had a little lamb. Jake - the Snake. Daisy - flowers. Tom - Cruise.

Another trick (that I've definitely used before) if you do forget someone's name? Introduce them to someone you know! "Hey, this is my wife, Sarah." The person was almost always introduce themselves using their own name, and then you get a second chance at remembering it.

A lot of the best advice really comes down to being intentional about remembering when you're introduced to a new person. Whatever mental gymnastics you choose to do with the name, the mere fact that you're thinking about it with such focus immediately after is a big part of why these 'tricks' help names stick.

It feels really good when someone cares enough to remember your name, so it's definitely worth putting in a little effort of trying to instill that feeling in others.

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Pop Culture

Singer performs original song Prince himself wrote for her and leaves "AGT" judges astounded

Liv Warfield gave "America's Got Talent" audiences a special gem by The Purple One.

Flickr/Wikipedia, America's Got Talent/Youtube

Prince would be so proud.

When the 2024 Summer Olympics ended, few knew we weren't quite done marveling at elite-level humans at the top of their game.

America’s Got Talent returned from its two week hiatus in August 2024 with eleven incredible acts, but it was R&B singer Liv Warfield who stole the show with her rendition of “The Unexpected,” a song that just so happened to be written specifically for her by Prince. No big deal.

Warfield had already wowed audiences with her initial audition, which earned a Golden Buzzer from Simon Cowell. But this next performance had Cowell saying, “If this was the Olympics for singing, you would have won the gold medal.”

Judges Sofia Vergara and Howie Mandel echoed similar praises. Vergara called Warfield’s set “perfection,” while Mandel, a self-proclaimed Prince fan, told Warfield that "The Purple One knew what he was doing when he gave you this gem. That was a million-dollar performance.”

And it’s not hard to see why Warfield got such high remarks. Beyond her unbelievable vocals was her undeniable star power and ability to transport us all back in time to the days of 70s rock n’ roll.

As one viewer put it, “If Prince and Janis Joplin had a baby = Liv Warfield!”

Just watch:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Warfield’s connection to Prince began in 2009, when she joined his New Power Generation band. Though she noted that “backing up Prince was a dream,” not to mention the fact that she’s already made several chart topping achievements on her own, she still felt like her ultimate potential had yet to be reached, hence her AGT audition. Now, her quarterfinal performance has made Cowell declare another defining moment in her career.

“It felt to me like all those years you’ve been climbing the ladder to where you want to be, it all came out in those three minutes,” he said.

Indeed, what a testament to the power of steadily going after your dreams. Raw talent is great, but even with God-given gifts, there’s still so much work that goes into being ready for big opportunities. Though she didn't win the competition in the end, Warfield is already a winner through and through.


This article originally appeared last year.

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Modern Families

Brendan Fraser gives peak dad energy while watching his son walk the runway in New York

Seeing Fraser at Fashion Week wasn't on anyone's Bingo card, but his reactions are everything.

Montclair Film/Wikipedia, 2023 Vanity Fair Oscars After Party/Reddit

Pretty much every dad, famous or otherwise, can relate to this moment.

Brendan Fraser might be a Hollywood treasure, but he’s also the quintessential dad. And now there’s video proof of it. Fraser was recently spotted supporting his 20-year-old son, Holden, as he walked the runway for New York Fashion Week.

In a really endearing clip posted to Instagram by iD Magazine, we see Fraser, seated in the front row, give peak dad energy as he runs through a variety of facial expressions—from awe to utter confusion, to of course whipping out his phone to snag some footage—as his boy struts his stuff.

At the end, the Mummy actor enthusiastically claps and even does a passionate whistle. Are we at a prestigious fashion event? Or a middle show talent show? One cannot say.

Watch:

By and large, viewers couldn’t get enough of how wholesome and relatable the moment was.

“Love all of his expressions! He definitely doesn’t have the typical unemotional expression others do who watch fashion shows. He seems like a genuinely kind and humble person!”

“The way he’s trying not to go full excited parent when he’s recording is so sweet.”

“Awww such a proud dad I can tell he was genuinely impressed by the pieces trying to understand todays fashion.”

“Proud Papa moment. I love it! So cool to see him supporting his son.”

“He's like every dad at a ballet recital. No idea what's going on but happy to see his kids doing something they love.”

“Looks like a dad trying to support his child and act interested but really is completely confused with everything 😂😂”

This isn’t the first time we’ve witnessed precious interactions between Fraser and his son, one example being when brought them to the Oscars and they got to see him win his first ever Academy Award for The Whale, or when they purchased a Carvel’s Fudgie the Whale ice cream cake and balloons to celebrate his nomination for the coveted title. Talk about sweet in all the right ways.

And of course, Fraser’s other dadisms are well documented. Leland, one of Fraser’s other sons, famously told ET that his “personal favorite” dad joke “has been when we were kids and I'd say, ‘I don’t like broccoli, and he’d say, ‘Broccoli loves you.’”

While we have a lot to look forward to in terms of Fraser’s upcoming projects being released—from the comedy-drama film Rental Family to playing Dwight D. Eisenhower in the D-Day movie Pressure—in some ways it’s even nicer to see such a beloved celebrity simply enjoying being a dad. A great reminder that even when things are busy, to stop and savor the small moments.

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