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Education

In the U.S. more women than men graduate from college, by a lot. What does it mean?

People share their thoughts on the what's behind the higher education gender gap.

college students listenig to a professor

Women outpace men in college enrollment and graduation in the United States.

For much of human history, women faced societal and cultural obstacles to formal education. In some parts of the world, that’s still the case, but in the U.S., the barriers for women to enter and excel in higher education have all but disappeared. In fact, for decades, women have outpaced men in college enrollment and graduation rates.

That’s good news for gender equality, but now American colleges and universities are facing a different dilemma, as the data shows that gender gap is widening. According to government data for the year 2021-2022 shared in Forbes, women accounted for for 62.8% of associate degrees, 58.5% of bachelor’s degrees, 62.6% of master’s degrees and 57% of doctoral degrees—a solid majority across all post-secondary degrees at every level.

What does this mean? What's causing the growing disparity and what effect does it—or will it—have on society?

from AskMen

People shared their thoughts on these questions on Reddit and it's quite eye-opening. Here are various explanations for the gap:

Women tend to be more attentive and engaged students

Some teachers and professors shared their personal experiences with female students compared to male students, saying that women just tend to be "better" students in general.

"I work at a trade school for a very male dominated field and yet my female students are consistently my highest performers. They are typically the tops of their class, bring in more scholarships, and are the first to achieve certification by farrrrrr! They just typically seem more self motivated."

"I'm a professor at a community college and I teach a trade. From my experience the women just have it together better than the men do. They know how to study, they come prepared, they're organized, they pay attention, they are more mature, they know how to manage time and prioritize what's important."

Men and women are not equally incentivized to pursue higher education

Men have more options for well-paid work that doesn't require a college degree, including trades jobs that require greater upper body strength where men have an advantage. If women want to have financial independence, a college degree is their most promising path.

"A lot of younger dudes are told they can make more money not going to college. They are constantly hit with messaging about how the richest people in the world didn't go and so they don't have to. That they can be entrepreneurs or do get rich schemes with crypto, etc. They just see the amount of money they could make (which is complete speculation) vs the amount of money they will spend. Lastly, a lot of people have been told that college is a scam to get them into debt for the rest of their lives. Not to mention the whole military industrial complex that wants these men to go to the military instead of college so they do invade a lot of men's spaces like video games.

Meanwhile women have been pushing other women to go to college for a many reasons like it still being one of the best ways to boost your overall income. College was one of the many things kept away from women and so modern women will take advantage of their rights."

woman studyingWomen have more incentive to go to college.Photo credit: Canva

"For a woman to not be financially dependant on a man, she needs an education. Financial independence. For decades, women were locked in terrible marriages because they couldn't get jobs that they could live on. Low paying secretarial and teaching jobs (much like today) were the only things available so they had to stay in destructive marriages to survive. Men knew this, probably why up until the 1960's, women were not allowed to make contracts, wills, buy or sell property or get a credit card without her husband or father co-signing. Only 1.2% of women went to college. The social changes in the 1960's led to women outpacing men in college starting in the 1970's. Honestly, women saw the value of a college degree more than men did. Still do, probably. It is the only way they can live their lives without being dependant on men."

"Women’s salaries are enhanced by college to a much higher degree than men’s are. That’s partly because there’s seemingly a wider range of non-college jobs for men to go to and still earn a good salary. So some of what’s happening is an economic substitution effect where men are opting to do something equivalent."

The trades aren't as viable an option for women—and not just because of physical differences

The trades, unfortunately, are not always the safest avenue for women to take. Not to stereotype tradesmen, but anecdotal evidence about women's experiences highlight a genuine concern.

"I think women tend to go where other women are. Women can do plenty of a trades work that won't require a degree but can they do it and count on being safe at work? Construction workers have a reputation for harassing women, for example. It's just more of a necessity for women to get a degree and avoid manual labor alongside men. The kind of things you get away with in terms of how you interact with coworkers is much more controlled in an office environment.

A big reason I went to college was how people at my uncle's contracting company treated each other and me when I helped out in the summer. I just didn't like dealing with the constant grab assing and I know it would be even worse for a woman."

"My family besides my dad and one sister are all in trades work. Outside of a cousin who took over my uncle's auto shop all the women felt shit on in trades, everything from attempted assaults by coworkers and clients, to just dealing with misogynistic bullshit. They stick with it, but its a lot. I can see why, especially if you come from a working class family that was exposed to that, you'd be extra incentives to go to and stay in college.

"Yep. I graduated trade school for painting/plastering/flooring/tile. Was the top of the class. Got onto a crew at 19 and it was hell.... I couldn't even climb a ladder without sick/gross comments. I left and never went back. I ended up doing housekeeping for a decade and broke into property management."

Programs that encourage women to pursue degrees where they've traditionally been underrepresented

Certain fields, like STEM, were traditionally male-dominated, so programs to encourage and enable women to go into those fields have been created with success. There aren't really similar programs for men, despite the education gender gap.

"Professor here in a STEM field that was predominantly male students for decades, many of the more successful programs are now predominantly female students. Our program became predominantly female in 2012. We collect information about our students attending the program and placement thereafter. The reasons for that change were elementary and secondary education programs promoting STEM for female students and lower pay than other tech and engineering fields, as well as, trades. I don't see this changing any time soon."

women in a labPrograms for women in STEM have exploded in the past few decades.Photo credit: Canva

"There is no consensus on what causes this disparity or how to fix it. Potential root causes:

  • Grading: Teachers have been found to grade girls more generously than boys (Study 1, Study 2)
  • Teachers/Role Models: Teachers, especially for young boys, are overwhelmingly women (87% of elementary teachers are women)
  • Government Support: The Women's Bureau works to create parity for women in the workplace. Leading up to Title IX, this agency researched and developed policies to increase the number of women college graduates. There is no Men’s Bureau developing policies to increase the number of men graduating college.
  • Programs: There seemingly are many more programs promoting young women’s academic achievement than there are programs promoting young men’s academic achievement."

Boys and young men are being pushed ahead in school before they're ready

Some people pointed out that boys mature slower than girls, which may account for some of the disparity.

"Let me recommend Of Boys and Men by Richard Reeves. His key point is the (a) boys mature later than girls and so (b) 'redshirting' boys makes a lot of sense. So for example, if a 5 year old boy seems maybe not quite ready for kindergarten, then keep them home another year, let them begin at age 6.

Now fast forward to the last years of high school and into college, the issue becomes 'Peter Pan Syndrome,' boys/young men who don't want to grow up. I've seen that in my experience teaching college, it's not unusual for a '101' course to have one student who doesn't submit all the homework, skips classes, and so on, and in 20 years of teaching, it has always been men, not women. They flake out because of lack of maturity, and 13 years ago, maybe their parents should have just kept them home for one more year. Also, I've had men who did a military (including National Guard) term first, and they have told me that it helped them grow up."

"I was that guy in college. I muddled through for 3 years before dropping out. I just didn't have the discipline to do the work, my days were all spent drinking, smoking, and sleeping. I wish I had postponed college for a couple years and worked a real job first, I think I would have been more appreciative of the opportunity."

Boys and young men are being 'left behind'

Culturally, some are pointing out, there's a difference in how males and females are perceived as a group when they fall behind.

"There’s a lot of theories why guys tend to do more poorly than girls in school, and while some explain this as biological, most theories I’ve heard are cultural. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard moms or even some teachers saying how boys are being 'left behind' in academic settings. My own mom is a retired teacher and she would make comments about this stuff too (and she has a chip on her shoulder with males)."

boy studying, holding his head in his handsBoys tend to struggle with school more often, starting early on. Photo credit: Canva

""When girls on average fall behind in a subject, there is a push to figure out why and correct it. For example STEM subjects have been made increasingly accessible to women. But when boys fall behind in a subject, there isn’t the same push at all, it’s just blamed on them. Boys are being failed, and at the same time being blamed for it. It’s a crazy way to approach educating children."

"Men get told to pick themselves up by the bootstraps and figure stuff out themselves without any help. Meanwhile when women fall behind there's societal pushes to help them out. It's this lack of a more generalized outlook on who needs help that's part of the problem here."

There are surely many reasons for the gender gap in education, but whatever they are, the disparity has implications for the employment market and research in various fields. While exact gender parity in all things is unrealistic, large disparity isn't ideal and deserves some thoughtful consideration no matter who is being outpaced.

Race & Ethnicity

Woman's rare antique turned away from 'Antique Roadshow' for heart-wrenching reason

"I just love you for bringing it in and thank you so much for making me so sad."

Woman's antique turned away from 'Antique Roadshow'

People come by things in all sorts of ways. Sometimes you find something while at a garage sale and sometimes it's because a family member passed away and it was left to them. After coming into possession of the item, the owner may be tempted to see how much it's worth so it can be documented for insurance purposes or sold.

On a recent episode of BBC One's Antique Roadshow, a woman brought an ivory bracelet to be appraised. Interestingly enough, the expert didn't meet this rare find with excitement, but appeared somber. The antique expert, Ronnie Archer-Morgan carefully explains the purpose of the bracelet in what appears to be a tense emotional exchange.

There would be no appraisal of this antique ivory bracelet adorned with beautiful script around the circumference. Archer-Morgan gives a brief disclaimer that he and the Antique Roadshow disapprove of the trade of ivory, though that was not his reason for refusing the ivory bangle.

"This ivory bangle here is not about trading in ivory, it’s about trading in human life, and it’s probably one of the most difficult things that I’ve ever had to talk about. But talk about it we must," Archer-Morgan says.

Ronnie Archer-Morgan, Antiques Roadshow, BBC, antiques, ivoryRonnie Archer-Morgan on an episode of the BBC's Antiques RoadshowImage via Antqiues Roadshow


Turns out the woman had no idea what she had in her possession as she purchased it from an estate sale over 30 years before. One of the elderly residents she cared for passed away and the woman found the ivory bracelet among the things being sold. Finding the bangle particularly intriguing with the fancy inscription around it, she decided to purchase the unique piece of jewelry.

After explaining that his great-grandmother was once enslaved in Nova Scotia, Canada before being returned to Sierra Leone, Archer-Morgan concluded he could not price the item.

Antiques Roadshow, BBC, Ronnie Archer MorganRonnie Archer-Morgan holds the ivory bracelet he refused to valueImage via Antiques Roadshow/BBC

"I just don’t want to value it. I do not want to put a price on something that signifies such an awful business. But the value is in the lessons that this can tell people," he tells the woman.

In the end the woman leaves without knowing the monetary value of the item but with a wealth of knowledge she didn't have before visiting. Now she can continue to share the significance of the antique with others. Watch the full explanation below:


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

This article originally appeared last year.

Love Stories

Newlyweds land paid job living for free on gorgeous, uninhibited Irish island

They beat out 80,000 other applicants for the job of a lifetime.

Camille Rosenfeld; Alice Hayes

It's their dream of a lifetime.

What’s your dream job? President of the United States? A famous influencer with millions of followers and brand partnerships? A former NBA player who now cruises the airwaves with his besties, à la Charles Barkley? No? Well, what about this: Moving to a remote, uninhabited island in Ireland where there’s no running water, no hot showers, and no electricity? Sound enticing?

While that may not exactly sound like “heaven” to most folks, for newlywed couple Camille Rosenfeld (26) from Minnesota and James Hayes (37) from Tralee, Ireland, this version of the island life is exactly what they signed up for. From April 1 to September 30, the newlywed couple will become the caretakers of Great Blasket Island, a remote and uninhabited island off Ireland’s coast in the Atlantic Ocean.

stone homes near the ocean The beautiful, brutal Great Blasket IslandGreat Blasket Island

Once there, they’ll be trading modern conveniences for candlelight and the constant company of seagulls—an existence not terribly dissimilar from the one depicted in Robert Eggers’ 2019 movie, The Lighthouse—and the couple couldn’t be more delighted.

“Oh my gosh…it seems like such a dream come true,” Rosenfeld gushed to CBC Radio. “You wouldn't even think it would be a possibility. We feel really lucky that we were chosen.”

But make no mistake: this is not a vacation. Like Jack Torrance in The Shining, Rosenfeld and Hayes will become Great Blasket’s live-in caretakers, tasked with attending to the principal island of the Blaskets in County Kerry, Ireland. They will live in a small stone house on a windswept hill overlooking the gray, stormy seas at night. By day, they will run five holiday cottages and a coffee hatch for day-trippers visiting the island. “I genuinely think we will fall in with the rhythm of our new life and sense of freedom,” said Hayes, who has been to the island once before. “We won’t have the responsibilities of our jobs or day-to-day life, so it’s a chance to live a simpler life.”

“It looks like something from The Wizard of Oz

Located about a mile off the Dingle Peninsula in County Kerry, Great Basket Island— or in Irish, An Blascaod Mór—is a place of stunning natural beauty, where emerald hills glisten and below the cliffs lie sparkling turquoise waters. “It’s just so green, the greenest grass you’d ever see,” Rosenfeld said. “During a few weeks in the summer, there’s these beautiful purple flowers that bloom all across the fields. It looks like something from The Wizard of Oz.”

seals on beachHello, seals Start Travel

Once a flourishing fishing and farming outpost, Great Blasket Island was previously home to a tight-knit Irish community. For centuries, residents ate wildly caught fish and rabbits and harvested potatoes. In its heyday, the island nurtured a vibrant literary culture, with voices like Peig Sayers, Tomás Ó Criomhthain, and Muiris Ó Súilleabháin immortalizing the raw beauty and hardship of life there. However, by 1953, the island’s remaining inhabitants were forced to evacuate due to dwindling numbers and the lack of emergency services there during storms. Now, the island is a living museum of Gaelic heritage and a place where wildlife thrives.

While the island may not have many humans these days, Great Blasket Island is home to a great number of marine life: Gray seals (also known as “horseheads”) are the island’s star attraction, with their short flippers and hidden ears (gray seals lack ear flaps). During the late spring, thousands of gray seals come to Great Blasket to congregate, where they can be spotted among sharks, dolphins, whales, and seabirds. “We have no fears of anything around island life, not even the large number of seals that make their home on the beaches there,” the couple said. “We will deal with any issues as they come along.”

Landing the job

Billy O’Connor and his wife, Alice Hayes (no relation to James), who own the small collection of holiday cottages Camille and James will soon oversee, first advertised the live-in position in 2020. Initially, they were awash with over 80,000 applicants. Now, for their own sake, they’ve capped the number of applications to a mere 300. To deter hopefuls looking for a pleasant holiday, Billy and Alice try to stress the grueling nature of the job: “First, we try to put them off because if anything, it is quite romanticized,” says Alice. “But during the season, it can be quite intense for the caretakers. Most people, when they finish work, go home to their safe haven and relax. But I often say to people going out there that they won’t have that. You close the half-door where you were serving coffee, and you are home.”

Camille and James, on the other hand, are excited to trade a life in the fast lane for one that's much simpler. The two met in 2021 at the Burren College of Art, where Hayes was in residency as a visual artist, and Rosenfeld was studying abroad at the Rochester Institute of Technology, where she studied art and business. They’d actually applied for the caretaker position the year before, but the timing didn't work out because of their scheduled wedding.

couple, selfie by the waterMeet your new stewardsCamille Rosenfeld

When they reapplied the following year, Alice and Billy were ecstatic. "When we saw that Camille and James had applied again for the positions for this year, we were delighted as they are just so enthusiastic and committed to outdoor life," says Alice.

Stewardship: A growing interest in Europe

Besides being an excellent adventure for a newlywed couple, this hands-on approach to land stewardship is part of a growing trend in Europe. Land stewardship is increasingly being recognized as a practical and rewarding tool for nature and biodiversity conservation, often found at the intersection of environmental protection and sustainable economic practices. In the United Kingdom, for example, such land trusts play a significant role in managing protected areas and sites of natural importance. Ahead of their new jobs, Camille and James reflect on the part they’ll play in this larger context. "I think both Camille and I feel that we have been living our lives on aeroplanes travelling over and back to the US and out of suitcases with no set familiarity to our lives over the past three years and longer," James explains. Camille adds: "It will provide the time to take stock, immerse ourselves in island life and start the next chapter or new book of living our lives together in one place.”

Heroes

Nazis demanded to know if ‘The Hobbit’ author J.R.R. Tolkien was Jewish. His response was legendary.

J.R.R. Tolkien had no problem telling his German publishing house exactly what he thought.

J.R.R. Tolkien didn't mince words when asked his opinion on Nazis

In 1933, Adolf Hitler handed the power of Jewish cultural life in Nazi Germany to his chief propagandist, Joseph Goebbels. Goebbels established a team of of regulators that would oversee the works of Jewish artists in film, theater, music, fine arts, literature, broadcasting, and the press.

Goebbels' new regulations essentially eliminated Jewish people from participating in mainstream German cultural activities by requiring them to have a license to do so.

This attempt by the Nazis to purge Germany of any culture that wasn't Aryan in origin led to the questioning of artists from outside the country.

J.R.R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings, Nazi, Nazis, book burning, censorship, The HobbitA Nazi book burning in GermanyImage via Wikicommons

In 1938, English author J. R. R. Tolkien and his British publisher, Stanley Unwin, opened talks with Rütten & Loening, a Berlin-based publishing house, about a German translation of his recently-published hit novel, "The Hobbit."

Privately, according to "1937 The Hobbit or There and Back Again," Tolkien told Unwin he hated Nazi "race-doctrine" as "wholly pernicious and unscientific." He added he had many Jewish friends and was considering abandoning the idea of a German translation altogether.

lord of the rings hobbits GIFGiphy

The Berlin-based publishing house sent Tolkien a letter asking for proof of his Aryan descent. Tolkien was incensed by the request and gave his publisher two responses, one in which he sidestepped the question, another in which he handled in '30s-style with pure class.

In the letter sent to Rütten & Loening, Tolkien notes that Aryans are of Indo-Iranian "extraction," correcting the incorrect Nazi aumption that Aryans come from northern Europe. He cuts to the chase by saying that he is not Jewish but holds them in high regard. "I regret that I appear to have no ancestors of that gifted people," Tolkien wrote.

Tolkien also takes a shot at the race policies of Nazi Germany by saying he's beginning to regret his German surname. "The time is not far distant when a German name will no longer be a source of pride," he writes.

Bryan Cranston Mic Drop GIFGiphy

Here's the letter sent to Rütten & Loening:

25 July 1938 20 Northmoor Road, Oxford
Dear Sirs,

Thank you for your letter. I regret that I am not clear as to what you intend by arisch. I am not of Aryan extraction: that is Indo-Iranian; as far as I am aware none of my ancestors spoke Hindustani, Persian, Gypsy, or any related dialects. But if I am to understand that you are enquiring whether I am of Jewish origin, I can only reply that I regret that I appear to have no ancestors of that gifted people.

My great-great-grandfather came to England in the eighteenth century from Germany: the main part of my descent is therefore purely English, and I am an English subject — which should be sufficient. I have been accustomed, nonetheless, to regard my German name with pride, and continued to do so throughout the period of the late regrettable war, in which I served in the English army. I cannot, however, forbear to comment that if impertinent and irrelevant inquiries of this sort are to become the rule in matters of literature, then the time is not far distant when a German name will no longer be a source of pride.

Your enquiry is doubtless made in order to comply with the laws of your own country, but that this should be held to apply to the subjects of another state would be improper, even if it had (as it has not) any bearing whatsoever on the merits of my work or its sustainability for publication, of which you appear to have satisfied yourselves without reference to my Abstammung.
I trust you will find this reply satisfactory, and
remain yours faithfully,

J. R. R. Tolkien



J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, Nazis, Nazi, Germany The letter J.R.R. Tolkien wrote to his German publishersImage via Letters of Note

This article originally appeared four years ago.

Pets

A woman reunited with her beloved cat she thought had died in catastrophic fire

After two months, Aggie was miraculously found among the rubble close to her former home.

Images courtesy of TikTok/@carolynkiefer1

Aggie is getting the treatment she needs.

Losing your home and belongings in a house fire is devastating enough, but losing a pet that you can't find before you're forced to evacuate is even worse. No one wants to say goodbye to a beloved pet even under normal circumstances, but to lose them in a fire is too tragic to think about.

So, imagine getting a call that your pet you thought had perished along with your home has been found alive.

Katherine Kiefer got that call from Westside Animal Shelter in Los Angeles two months after her home was destroyed in the Palisades fire. The 82-year-old had been at a radiation treatment appointment for lung cancer the morning of January 7, 2025, when the fire reached her neighborhood. Katherine's daughter Carolyn told Upworthy that Aggie had fled as the family gathered belongings and pets to evacuate while fending off the fire with hoses. They searched and searched, but finally they had no choice but to flee without her.

"Telling my mother that we had not found Aggie was devastating," Carolyn says. "We had failed. The next morning we were able to drive into the Palisades and saw we had lost our home. It felt like a warzone and it seemed impossible that Aggie would have been able to survive such a firestorm. The following two months have been very dark for my mother. Losing the home was painful but losing Aggie made it especially heartbreaking. My mother told me that when she was having a hard time with her cancer treatment and felt down she would remind herself, 'at least I have Aggie.' Now, she was gone."

But she wasn't. Aggie was miraculously found among the ash and rubble near their former home in early March and taken to Westside Animal Shelter, where workers scanned her microchip. Carolyn says the family thought the call from the shelter was a scam at first, but once they confirmed the chip number they knew Aggie really had survived. The shelter had sent Aggie to ChatOak Animal Hospital 40 minutes away for treatment, and Katherine got to reunite with her there.

"I have never seen my 82 yr old mother move so fast and be so impatient," says Carolyn.

Watch:

@carolynkiefer1

My mother is reunited with her beloved, Aggie. #palisadesfire #cat #reunited #rescueanimals THANK YOU @LA Animal Services 🙏

"Seeing them reunited was life changing," says Carolyn. "My mother has really struggled and Aggie's survival has brought her back to life. She is completely different since learning about Aggie. She is really a part of our family and we felt broken without her."

Carolyn's video of their reunion got over five million views on TikTok, but people wanted to see the original recording without the music added. In the unedited version, we get to hear the vet tech share how sweet Aggie had been, and we hear Katherine greet Aggie with, "Hi, sweetest girl!"

Sweetest girl indeed. Oof.

@carolynkiefer1

Replying to @Spasztic.bpd😏🙃🖤🩵🧡

Aggie was suffering from starvation, anemia, a fever, and minor burns when she was brought in. She had to have some matted fur removed and received the blood transfusion, and she will receive ongoing care until she is well enough to join her family again. A GoFundMe to help cover Aggie's veterinary bills has raised over $27,000 in just a couple of days, which is surely a relief for a family already dealing with so much loss.

@carolynkiefer1

Replying to @Yas Thank you for all the support for Aggie. Gofundme link in bio. 🙏 Thank you, Sarah Garrity, DVM, DACVIM (SAIM)! #palisadesfire #cat #aggie


How do you keep pets safe in a house fire?

Everyone wants to think they would just grab their pets and go if a fire threatened their home, but it's not always that simple. Animals have instincts to protect themselves and will often hide if they sense danger, so it can be hard to find them in a fire situation.

- YouTubeyoutu.be

The American Red Cross offers these tips for giving pets the best chance of survival in case of a fire:

- The best way to protect your pets from the effects of a fire is to include them in your family plan. This includes having their own disaster supplies kit as well as arranging in advance for a safe place for them to stay if you need to leave your home.

- When you practice your escape plan, practice taking your pets with you. Train them to come to you when you call.

- In the event of a disaster, if you must evacuate, the most important thing you can do to protect your pets is to evacuate them, too. But remember: never delay escape or endanger yourself or family to rescue a family pet.

- Keep pets near entrances when away from home. Keep collars on pets and leashes at the ready in case firefighters need to rescue your pet. When leaving pets home alone, keep them in areas or rooms near entrances where firefighters can easily find them.

- Affix a pet alert window cling and write down the number of pets inside your house and attach the static cling to a front window. This critical information saves rescuers time when locating your pets. Make sure to keep the number of pets listed on them updated.

However, even the best laid plans don't always go the way we want them to, and sometimes there's nothing we can do but hold out hope that our pets' natural survival instincts will save them like Aggie's did. Her tragedy to triumph story is is a good reminder of how resilient animals can be, even in the most unlikely of circumstances. Here's to a speedy recovery so Aggie can be home with Katherine where she belongs as soon as possible.

Elmo got real on his Chicken Shop Date.

For some, little is more daunting than the question: "What's your 5-year plan?" No matter the generation, it can be anxiety-inducing at best. Sesame Street's Elmo was asked this very question by English comedian Amelia Dimoldenberg on her popular web series Chicken Shop Date.

On the show, Amelia has various "dates" where she peppers celebrities with awkward and often endearing interview questions. Obviously, Elmo was the perfect guest, though it's specifically noted on YouTube that Elmo is having a "play date" since he's only three and a half years old, of course. But when she bluntly asks him, "What's your five-year plan?" Elmo is confused. "What's that mean, five-year plan? Elmo is me." She restates, "Yeah, you need to have a plan. You need to have a five-year plan."

gif of Amelia DimoldenbergDisappointed Amelia Dimoldenberg GIF by Chicken Shop DateGiphy

On the show, Amelia has various "dates" where she peppers celebrities with awkward and often endearing interview questions. Obviously, Elmo was the perfect guest, though it's specifically noted on YouTube that Elmo is having a "play date" since he's only three and a half years old, of course. But when she bluntly asks him, "What's your five-year plan?" Elmo is confused. "What's that mean, five-year plan? Elmo is me." She restates, "Yeah, you need to have a plan. You need to have a five-year plan."

And then Elmo becomes all of us. "Elmo doesn't really know what he's gonna do in the next five hours!"

@emil1yc

😭 #chickenshopdate

When this clip was posted on TikTok, the followers definitely saw themselves in Elmo. "Me, in a job interview," says the top commenter, with over 25,000 likes. Another writes, "I just panicked, like am I supposed to have a 5-year plan? Marriage? Do some people have a five-year plan?!?"

This person asks, "Also, isn't Elmo like 5 or 6 or something? She's basically asking him what he's gonna be doing after another lifetime." (Repliers rightfully point out that Elmo is three and a half years old in perpetuity.)

Since that clip went viral three months ago, people have been having a field day on TikTok answering the question for themselves. Many simply lip-sync with Elmo, expressing how much they relate. But TikTok user @GenX_Michelle took it a little further. In their video, we see a woman at the grocery store with a giant raven perched on her arm. The chyron reads: "When someone asks me where I see myself in 5 years."

The comments are not only supportive of the OP, but they're impressed by the grocery-shopping woman, as well. "This woman is a goddess, because you don't choose a raven, a raven chooses you."

@genx_michelle

Raven Lady of Vegas has a nice ring to it... 😉 #raven #5yearplan #ravenladyofvegas #genx_michelle #besties_chosenfamily


Many therapists and career counselors nowadays actually believe you don't need a 5-year plan, and that the very idea of them is obsolete. In Lily Zhung's article "Why You Really Don't Have to Have a 5-Year Plan" for The Muse, she cites John D. Krumboltz’s Happenstance Learning Theory, where she reports, "He posits that unplanned events are to be expected because they’re inevitable and, in fact, necessary to every career."

person in an office saying, "New plan."Plan Change Of Plans GIFGiphy

She then asks, "How many successful people actually followed a plan to get to where they were? Maybe a handful. Most were (and continue to be) superbly hardworking and just really good at recognizing and acting on opportunities that come their way."

Success, she says, comes from grabbing opportunities when they arise and being as prepared as possible for the moment. "Ultimately, the goal of career planning is not to have a step-by-step plan, but to maximize the opportunities for you to learn and to be in the right mindset to take advantage of opportunities as they come."

Zhung quotes Shonda Rhimes from a commencement speech she gave at Dartmouth in 2014: "Maybe you know exactly what it is you dream of being, or maybe you're paralyzed because you have no idea what your passion is. The truth is, it doesn't matter. You don't have to know. You just have to keep moving forward. You just have to keep doing something, seizing the next opportunity, staying open to trying something new. It doesn't have to fit your vision of the perfect job or the perfect life. Perfect is boring and dreams are not real. Just do."