It might seem reckless to base major life decisions off of kitschy little thought experiments, but there is something to be said for finding simple ways to get out of mental analysis and really tune into what our gut is telling us.
This seems especially true when it comes to relationships. People swear by things like “the bird test” and the “two beers and a puppy test,” and even the less cutesy “TSA pre-check test” for determining whether or not a partnership is really meant to last. While all of these are different in their own way, the commonality is that they encourage the querent to get real about whether a potential significant other will share their common interests and values in the long run.
Perhaps it's just my love of fashion, but as far as relationship litmus tests go, I’m a particular fan of the “Wardrobe Test,” which was recently presented by relationship expert and author of How To Not Die Alone Logan Ury. And actually, it’s not so much that it involves clothes, but that it’s instantly enlightening.
As Ury explains, the Wardrobe Test has you ask yourself: “If my partner were a piece of clothing in my closet, what would they be?”
“Sometimes people tell me ‘My partner is an old sweater that I used to wear but now itches me,’” Ury says in the clip. “Or ‘My partner is a raggedy t-shirt that I wear to the gym but I don’t want to be seen in.’ Obviously those are not good signs for the relationship.”
On the flip side, Ury says that people have also responded with “my partner is my favorite pair of pants that I wouldn’t have bought for myself, but I wear to music festivals and I love them,” which is undoubtedly a much better sign.
Ury assured that this method works because “Sometimes I think people get so in their head about should I be in the relationship, should I not be, and sometimes a question like that just gets them into their gut and when they say it they know what they need to do.”
Thinking about my own relationship, my answer was “a comfy hoodie that instantly makes me feel at home.” Turns out, several folks had similar answers in the comments.
“I immediately thought ‘a really cozy warm and thick sweater’ I think that’s a good sign lol”
“My partner would be the coziest, softest hoodie that’s two sizes too big for me but fits like a hug that I wear every day right after work.”
“Right away I thought ‘a warm pair of fuzzy winter socks’ — the ones you wear unashamedly even though they’re a little dorky bc they make you feel cozy and you couldn’t make it thru a season without them.”
"My partner is my favorite hoodie that I keep adding patches to with each new adventure. I love to show it off and wear it whenever I can, otherwise I still and admire it when I can’t wear it due to the weather."
"He's a cozy sweater that i never want to take off"
There were also plenty of equally lovely, not hoodie/sweater related ones as well.
“I’m currently six months pregnant and don’t have many things left that fit me but when she said this I thought straight to this one dress that fits perfectly. It’s comfortable I can wear it anywhere. It’s the kind of thing I would’ve worn before getting pregnant and I’m so happy that it still looks good while pregnant and there’s no negatives about it. I don’t ever seeing myself get ride of it, even when it starts to fall apart.”
“My favourite yellow sweater . Brightens my day, makes me feel confident and cozy all day all the time without fail💛"
Photo credit: Canva
“I said my belt that I swear everyday that I get a lot of compliments on. Like that was my first thought and I have no idea what that means but I love my belt.”
“My first thought was a light jacket. I never forget it, I’ll always bring it with me “just in case”, and it’s sincerely a staple that I always appreciate. I never wanna get it dirty either because I picked it due to signs of longevity. After thinking about, this also describes my partner in a way. Very reliable and I picked him because he had good signs that our relationship would last long. I also wanna protect our relationship more and more.”
"I thought of my favorite band shirt which I wear out of the house, to sleep, around the house, basically any time it's clean I wear it. If I can get away with tucking it into a skirt for a semi dressy dinner I will. And when it goes in the laundry I know it's time to do laundry."
“I said bra because he lifts me up and supports me.”
Photo credit: Canva
A clear common denominator is that these “clothing items,” i.e. patents, offer a sense of comfort no matter what occasion, upliftment, support, and something that only becomes more cherished over time, despite any wear and tear. Which honestly makes a lot of sense.
Alternatively, there were some…not so great responses.
“My Alo yoga sweatpants bc they weigh me down.”
“My therapist did this with me but instead we used furniture! If your partner was a piece of furniture in your house, what would they be? Mine was the acrylic chair I never sat in. It’s very uncomfortable and painful to sit in after a while”
While this fun little question won’t provide all the answers, it might be a good place to start if your current relationship feels murky.
A Gen X text convo with Gen ZPhoto credit: Annie Reneau
Oh Yeah Mic Drop GIF by Taylor Bisciotti
