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Woman on plane says she was asked to take iPad away from 3-year-old to 'shield' other kids

Is she responsible for the screen time rules of other parents?

screen time; AITA; Reddit AITA; toddlers and screen time; screen time while traveling; screen time on airplane

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Woman on flight confronts parent over 3-year-old using iPad

It's no secret that everyone parents their children differently. Heck, even within the same house children are parented differently based on their individual personalities and social–emotional needs. So most parents understand that every family operates differently than their own but that doesn't stop some people from expecting their rules to be followed by other people outside of their family.

One mom found herself feeling a bit confused and likely frustrated after a recent flight with her preschooler. She and her 3-year-old were on a two hour flight enjoying some in flight entertainment in the form of an iPad. This seemed to be a problem for another family on board the same flight who also happened to have a preschool aged little boy with them.

The other family's child noticed the little girl's iPad and decided that he too needed to have his iPad. The only problem was, the boy's family decided he could not use his device while traveling which left him crying for the girl's tablet.

Instead of the parents of the little boy giving him his tablet, they requested that the other mom take the tablet away from her child and put it away.

The mom of the little girl refused to take the tablet from her child to accommodate the other family causing the little boy to cry most of the flight according to the frazzled mom on Reddit. Of course screen time is a hot button for parents with some parents demanding to be screen free until a certain age and others appreciating the time screens provide parents to get things done around the house.

woman carrying baby while sitting on gray seat Photo by Paul Hanaoka on Unsplash

Experts weigh in on screen time

According to the Mayo Clinic, screen time for children younger than 18 months old should be avoided unless video chatting with relatives or friends. Otherwise, there should be no screens until after that age when high quality shows and such can be introduced with supervision up to 24 months. But for preschool aged children the recommendation is to leave screen time to one hour or less of high quality programs with parental supervision.

Two psychologists who are also moms discussed screen time when traveling on the podcast "Securely Attached." They both agreed that each kid is different but one mom, Dr. Emily says, "I think you really have to adapt to what the needs are. If you have a really long flight, your kids are zoning out." Before adding, "I’m okay with them watching movies. I’m less with them doing a video game for hours and hours and hours that again, I might just be old and I think that’s more analog."

girl sitting on chair Photo by Patricia Prudente on Unsplash

While the two children whose parents were in this mile high standoff over screen time both fall into the one hour or less category, these children are not from the same family. Every parent has different rules around screen time for their children and some see traveling as a place to bend their own household rules a little to make sure their children are as occupied as possible in an effort to not inconvenience other passengers.

People chime in to support mom's choice

Since the mom who originally asked if she was wrong for refusing to take away her child's iPad was starting to second guess her choice after noting the other family giving her dirty looks, Reddit users emphatically supported her decision.

High Five Sesame Street GIF by MoonbugGiphy

"If they don't want their kid to use a tablet on their vacation, they need to be prepared for meltdowns like this while he develops the ability to understand that other people will have different rules and experiences than he will. I feel for them, I know how hard it is to travel with a cranky toddler, but that's simply not a reasonable request to make of a stranger," someone shares with the mom.

"I think the big benefit to iPads on flights is that you can download near unlimited activities and don’t have to bring anything else that takes up space! I own a Kindle and while I do prefer reading physical books, when I travel I don’t have to worry about reading my books too quickly because I can just download another! Like bringing a puzzle and a book and a game and markers and paper vs bringing one device that has all of those things can absolutely be beneficial for a flight/trip especially if you have young children and also need to pack snacks and diapers and sippy cups and all the extra stuff adults don’t need," another adds.

Happy Dance GIF by XboxGiphy

"It's different before kids can read, I think. At 3 they can't just sit and read or do a puzzle, you have to actively do it with them and their attention span is short. Which might be fine for a 2 hour flight but isn't going to work for 5 or 7 or 12. Breaking it up with a few episodes of Bluey on your phone isn't going to hurt anyone and is considerate to your fellow passengers who don't want to deal with a toddler bouncing off the walls with boredom," one person writes.

boy sitting on chair beside table using tablet computer Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Overwhelmingly parents and non-parents alike agree that this mom did nothing wrong by refusing to take away her daughter's iPad. Others suggesting that the parents who chose not to use screens should have been more prepared with activities, "Exactly. It's fine to not want your toddler to use a tablet but you have to give them other activities. When we traveled as small children, we had lots of books, coloring books, little games, snacks, etc. planes are boring for all of us, especially children."

There you have it, planes are boring for everyone, so being prepared with boredom busters if you're avoiding screens can be beneficial for all involved.

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Millennial mom asks her own mom about raising a kid in the 80s and is mortified

"What did you do without Google?!"

@thedailytay/TikTok

"My anxiety could not have handled the 80s."

Raising kids is tough no matter what generation you fall into, but it’s hard to deny that there was something much simpler about the childrearing days of yesteryear, before the internet offered a million and one ways that parents could be—and probably are—doing it all very, very wrong.

Taylor Wolfe, a millennial mom, exemplifies this as she asks her own mother a series of rapid-fire questions about raising her during the 80s and the stark contrast in attitudes becomes blatantly apparent.

First off, Wolfe can’t comprehend how her mom survived without being able to Google everything. (Not even a parent, but I feel this.)

“What did we have to Google?” her mom asks while shaking her head incredulously.

“Everything! For starters, poop!” Wolfe says. “Cause you have to know if the color is an okay color, if it's healthy!”

“I was a nursing mom, so if the poop came out green, it was because I ate broccoli,” her mom responds.

…Okay, fair point. But what about handy gadgets like baby monitors? How did Wolfe’s mom keep her kid alive without one?

“I was the monitor, going in and feeling you,” she says.

@thedailytay My anxiety would have hated the 80s. Or maybe loved it? IDK! #fyp #millennialsontiktok #parenttok #momsoftiktok #comedyvid ♬ original sound - TaylorWolfe

Could it really be that easy? It was for Wolfe’s mom, apparently. Rather than relying on technology, she simply felt her child and adjusted accordingly.

“If you were hot, you slept in a diaper. If you were cold, you had a blanket around you.” Done and done.

Wolfe then got into more existential questions, asking her mom if she ever felt the stress of “only having 18 summers” with her child, and how to make the most of it.

Without missing a beat, Wolfe's mother says, “It's summer, I still have you.”

Going by Wolfe’s mom, the 80s seems like a time with much less pressure.

From feeding her kids McDonald’s fries guilt-free to being spared the judgment of internet trolls, she just sort of did the thing without worrying so much if she was doing it correctly.

That’s nearly impossible in today’s world, as many viewers commented.

“Google just gives us too much information and it scares us,” one person quipped.

Another seconded, “I swear social media has made me wayyyy more of an anxious mom."

Even a professional noted: “As someone who has worked in pediatrics since the 80s, the parents are way more anxious now.”

I don’t think anyone truly wants to go back in time, per se. But many of us are yearning to bring more of this bygone mindset into the modern day. And the big takeaway here: No matter how many improvements we make to life, if the cost is our mental state, then perhaps it’s time to swing the pendulum back a bit.

This article originally appeared on 8.24.23

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Pop Culture

Airbnb host finds unexpected benefits from not charging guests a cleaning fee

Host Rachel Boice went for a more "honest" approach with her listings—and saw major perks because of it.

@rachelrboice/TikTok

Many frustrated Airbnb customers have complained that the separate cleaning fee is a nuisance.

Airbnb defines its notorious cleaning fee as a “one-time charge” set by the host that helps them arrange anything from carpet shampoo to replenishing supplies to hiring an outside cleaning service—all in the name of ensuring guests have a “clean and tidy space.”

But as many frustrated Airbnb customers will tell you, this feature is viewed as more of a nuisance than a convenience. According to NerdWallet, the general price for a cleaning fee is around $75, but can vary greatly between listings, with some units having cleaning fees that are higher than the nightly rate (all while sometimes still being asked to do certain chores before checking out). And often none of these fees show up in the total price until right before the booking confirmation, leaving many travelers feeling confused and taken advantage of.

However, some hosts are opting to build cleaning fees into the overall price of their listings, mimicking the strategy of traditional hotels.

Rachel Boice runs two Airbnb properties in Georgia with her husband Parker—one being this fancy glass plane tiny house (seen below) that promises a perfect glamping experience.

@rachelrboice Welcome to The Tiny Glass House 🤎 #airbnbfinds #exploregeorgia #travelbucketlist #tinyhouse #glampingnotcamping #atlantageorgia #fyp ♬ Aesthetic - Tollan Kim

Like most Airbnb hosts, the Boice’s listing showed a nightly rate and separate cleaning fee. According to her interview with Insider, the original prices broke down to $89 nightly, and $40 for the cleaning fee.

But after noticing the negative response the separate fee got from potential customers, Rachel told Insider that she began charging a nightly rate that included the cleaning fee, totaling to $129 a night.

It’s a marketing strategy that more and more hosts are attempting in order to generate more bookings (people do love feeling like they’re getting a great deal) but Boice argued that the trend will also become more mainstream since the current Airbnb model “doesn’t feel honest.”

"We stay in Airbnbs a lot. I pretty much always pay a cleaning fee," Boice told Insider. "You're like: 'Why am I paying all of this money? This should just be built in for the cost.'"

Since combining costs, Rachel began noticing another unexpected perk beyond customer satisfaction: guests actually left her property cleaner than before they were charged a cleaning fee. Her hypothesis was that they assumed she would be handling the cleaning herself.

"I guess they're thinking, 'I'm not paying someone to clean this, so I'll leave it clean,'" she said.

This discovery echoes a similar anecdote given by another Airbnb host, who told NerdWallet guests who knew they were paying a cleaning fee would “sometimes leave the place looking like it’s been lived in and uncleaned for months.” So, it appears to be that being more transparent and lumping all fees into one overall price makes for a happier (and more considerate) customer.

These days, it’s hard to not be embittered by deceptive junk fees, which can seem to appear anywhere without warning—surprise overdraft charges, surcharges on credit cards, the never convenience “convenience charge” when purchasing event tickets. Junk fees are so rampant that certain measures are being taken to try to eliminate them outright in favor of more honest business approaches.

Speaking of a more honest approach—as of December 2022, AirBnb began updating its app and website so that guests can see a full price breakdown that shows a nightly rate, a cleaning fee, Airbnb service fee, discounts, and taxes before confirming their booking.

Guests can also activate a toggle function before searching for a destination, so that full prices will appear in search results—avoiding unwanted financial surprises.

This article originally appeared on 11.08.23

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Identity

13 side-by-side portraits of people over 100 with their younger selves

These powerful before-and-after photos reveal just how beautiful aging can be.

via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Jan Langer's incredible photos are timeless.

Czech photographer Jan Langer's portrait series "Faces of Century" shows them in a different light: as human beings aged by years of experience, but at their deepest level, unchanged by the passing of time.

In the series, Langer juxtaposes his portraits with another portrait of the subject from decades earlier. He recreates the original pose and lighting as closely as he can — he wants us to see them not just as they are now, but how they have and haven't changed over time. That is the key to the series.

These are the rare faces of people who have lived through two world wars, a cavalcade of regimes, and the rush of advancements in modern life. These photos, and the stories of the lives lived by the people in them, show not only the beauty of aging, but how even as we age, we still remain essentially ourselves.

1. Prokop Vejdělek, at age 22 and 101

All photos by Jan Langer.

Vejdělek is a former metallurgical engineer who will never forget the taste of warm fresh goat's milk.

2. Bedřiška Köhlerová, at age 26 and 103

Originally born in Merano, Italy, Köhlerová wishes to visit Italy one more time.

3. Ludvík Chybík, at age 20 and 102

Chybík is a former postal carrier and says he will never forget the route he worked every day.

4. Vincenc Jetelina, at age 30 and 105

Jetelina spent eight years in prison after World War II. Now, he just wants to live the rest of his life in peace.

5. Marie Fejfarová, at age 101

Fejfarová burned all her material memories, including old photographs, when she decided to move to a long-term care facility. She lived a dramatic life, hiding from the Nazis and then the Russians, but eventually she was able to travel the world with her husband. Her experiences show there's no such thing as too late in life to start a new chapter.

6. Antonín Kovář, at age 25 and 102

Kovář is a former musician whose daughter comes to visit him every day. He wishes to play the clarinet once more.

7. Anna Vašinová, at age 22 and 102

Vašinová will always remember the day her husband was taken away by the Nazis. She wishes to be reunited with him after death.

8. Stanislav Spáčil, at age 17 and 102

Spáčil was an electrical engineer throughout his life and thinks that it's too early in his life to think about the past.

9. Anna Pochobradská, at age 30 and 100

Pochobradská was a farmer. She now lives a quiet life and is thankful that her daughter visits her every weekend.

10. Antonín Baldrman, at age 17 and 101

Baldrman was a clerk early in life and keeps up with current events by reading the newspaper.

11. Marie Burešová, at age 23 and 101

Burešová loves talking to her family and wishes to have them all together again.

12. Vlasta Čížková, at age 23 and 101

Čížková cooked in the dining room at the airport in the small village of Vodochody. She'll never forget reciting her own poetry at wedding ceremonies.

13. Ludmila Vysloužilová, at age 23 and 101

Vysloužilová stays active every day by chopping wood, shoveling snow, and doing work around her house.

The photographer Langer was initially inspired to document the lives of elderly people because of what he saw as the media's lack of coverage of them. He decided to focus on people over the age of 100 — a very rare demographic indeed. The 2010 U.S. Census reported only 53,364 centenarians, which is only 0.19% of the population of people 70 years or older.

“One should live every single moment according to their best knowledge and conscience because one day we will see clearly what has a real value," Langer says of what he learned from his subjects while photographing them.

The series was originally part of a story that Langer did for the Czech news outlet aktuálně.cz. You can see more photos from the portrait sessions by following the link.

This article originally appeared on 12.08.17.

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Dad found out his son bullied a kid at school and came up with a brilliant teaching moment

"I told him that we have the opportunity to make things right."

@thehalfdeaddad/TikTok

Dad on TikTok shared how he addressed his son's bullying.

What do you do when you find out your kid bullied someone? For many parents, the first step is forcing an apology. While this response is of course warranted, is it really effective? Some might argue that there are more constructive ways of handling the situation that teach a kid not only what they did wrong, but how to make things right again.

Single dad Patrick Forseth recently shared how he made a truly teachable moment out of his son, Lincoln, getting into trouble for bullying. Rather than forcing an apology, Forseth made sure his son was actively part of a solution.

The thought process behind his decision, which he explained in a now-viral TikTok video, is both simple and somewhat radical compared to how many parents have been encouraged to handle similar situations.

“I got an email a few days ago from my 9-year-old son's teacher that he had done a ‘prank’ to a fellow classmate and it ended up embarrassing the classmate and hurt his feelings,” the video begins.

At this point, Forseth doesn’t split hairs. “I don't care who you are, that's bullying,” he said. “If you do something to somebody that you know has the potential end result of them being embarrassed in front of a class or hurt—you’re bullying.”

So, Forseth and Lincoln sat down for a long talk (a talk, not a lecture) about appropriate punishment and how it would have felt to be on the receiving end of such a prank.

From there, Forseth told his son that he would decide how to make things right, making it a masterclass in taking true accountability.

“I demanded nothing out of him. I demanded no apology, I demanded no apology to the teacher,” he continued, adding, “I told him that we have the opportunity to go back and make things right. We can't take things back, but we can try to correct things and look for forgiveness.”

@thehalfdeaddad Replying to @sunshinyday1227 And then it’s my kid 🤦‍♂️😡 #endbullyingnow #talktoyourkidsmore #dadlifebestlife #singledadsover40 #teachyourchildren #ReadySetLift ♬ Get You The Moon - Kina

So what did Lincoln do? He went back to his school and actually talked to the other boy he pranked. After learning that they shared a love of Pokémon, he then went home to retrieve two of his favorite Pokémon cards as a peace offering, complete with a freshly cleaned case.

Lincoln would end up sharing with his dad that the other boy was so moved by the gesture that he would end up hugging him.

“I just want to encourage all parents to talk to your kids,” Forseth concluded. “Let's try to avoid just the swat on the butt [and] send them to their room. Doesn't teach them anything.”

In Forseth’s opinion, kids get far more insight by figuring out how to resolve a problem themselves. “That's what they're actually going to face in the real world once they move out of our nests.”

He certainly has a point. A slap on the wrist followed by being marched down somewhere to say, “I’m sorry,” only further humiliates kids most of the time. With this gentler approach, kids are taught the intrinsic value of making amends after wrongdoing, not to mention the power of their own autonomy. Imagine that—blips in judgment can end up being major character-building moments.

Kudos to this dad and his very smart parenting strategy.

This article originally appeared on 3.24.23

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Still, she came away from the viral experience encouraged by all the good people out there.

Photo by Molly Blackbird on Unsplash

With one simple tweet, Nathalie Gordon had the attention of men and women everywhere.

— (@)

Women who saw her tweet probably knew more or less what kind of story was coming.

Men, on the other hand, were in for an eye-opening ride.

Gordon began by recounting a seemingly casual encounter with a man on a bus.

— (@)

The conversation between Nathalie and the stranger quickly escalated from casual to obnoxious to downright scary.

— (@)

"I'm horrified and turn to ask him to stop doing it. He laughs at me," she tweeted next.

When she ran to the front of the bus to report the man to the driver, the driver reportedly told her to "sit somewhere else."

— (@)

The bus driver was no help.

"You're a pretty girl, what do you expect?" the driver asked her. Gordon had a pretty powerful answer to that.

— (@)

As Gordon's tweets went viral, similar stories from countless other women poured in.

Several women responded about their own run-ins with creeps on public transit.

One woman wrote that, in her case, it was the bus driver himself who wouldn't take "no" for an answer, actually following her off the bus one day and insisting on a date.

"The stories I'm being told [from women] are harrowing," Gordon explained over Twitter direct message. "There's a real sense of hopeless when you see these messages en masse."

Then men began responding to Gordon's story, many unthinkingly proving her exact point: They just didn't get it.

Quickly, the Not All Men brigade was out in full force. So were the Victim Blamers, and the This Never Happened gang.

Some of their responses were truly vile.

One man even responded by writing a lengthy screed from the perspective of Gordon's bus driver, in which he tried to explain that the bus driver's right to say "no" to helping a female passenger avoid being sexually harassed or assaulted is what equality really looks like because the bus driver shouldn't have to "fight her battles for her."

To them, Gordon has one simple answer: "Men, your input isn't necessary here. Just listen."

"Don't find fault or shout your opinion over people talking about actual experiences," she later wrote. "Just listen, read these stories and be a better, kinder, more informed, supportive and understanding man for the women in your lives."

Despite the critics and the doubters, Gordon says she came away from the discussion feeling encouraged.

"For every guy saying something cruel there's 10 rushing to my defence," she explains.

"They've recognised that women don't want, need or expect to be saved. We want people standing beside us going 'This is wrong, we need to find a way to stop this from happening.'"

"I know so many good men and this has confirmed that there are plenty more out there," Gordon says. "I just hope they are as vocal in real life as they are on Twitter because they have such power if they do."

This article originally appeared on 5.11.17