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Woman learns a valuable lesson after guy ends their date and apologizes to the waitstaff

The date ended before the appetizers were even served.

kindness; faith in humanity; bad first dates; service industry; lessons in kindness; man ditches date
Barbara NOT Barb|Twitter and Jonathan Borba|Canva

Woman learns lesson in kindness after date apologizes.



How you treat people in the service industry is often used as a measure of what kind of person you are. Arguably, the same could be said for how you treat anyone in a customer-facing job, whether it be the sales associate at a department store, the cashier at McDonald's or the janitor in your office building.

While people may think that these jobs are not skilled positions, they do require an immense amount of skill that has to be learned. The skill just isn't as valued by society as a whole, and sadly, that often leads to people treating those in customer-facing jobs poorly. But when a woman recently went on a date with a potential partner, her poor behavior towards the waitstaff caused him to pause.

The story was shared by a woman by the name of Barbara NOT Barb on Twitter with a lengthy thread about her daughter's recent interaction. Though the details were juicy, it quickly became obvious that kindness is the way to go.

Barbara's daughter works as a server at a high-end restaurant in Los Angeles, and she was asked to bring water to a couple's table in someone else's section to help out. But according to the Twitter thread, when her daughter arrived at the table, the woman at the table started berating and insulting her.

Apparently, the couple, who were on their first date, were waiting for their drink orders from the bar. If you've ever worked in a restaurant, you know that servers don't have anything to do with how quickly your food or alcoholic drinks get made. They keep an eye out for the items as they care for other tables, but either this woman didn't realize that or didn't care, because she yelled at the server for how long it was taking for the drinks. The only mistake this particular server made was being kind to a co-worker and offering to drop off glasses of water.

After the server tried unsuccessfully to de-escalate the situation, the woman demanded to speak to the manager. It's not clear if this was the woman's first date ever, but it was her first date with the stunned man at the table. Since people generally attempt to put their best foot forward on a first date, it's not surprising that the man decided to end the date. But before he did that, he gave a lesson in kindness.

Before the manager could reach the table, the likely embarrassed man intercepted him.

"He asked to close out the tab. Explained it was a first date and that the woman's behavior disgusted him. He paid the tab at the bar and then requested my daughter and the original server come talk to him. He apologized profusely for his date's behavior," Barbara wrote. "Needless to say, everyone was floored, in the best way. The woman had somehow been informed that the date was over. She walked out, head down, and was no longer talking down to anyone."

Being kind to others is one of the easiest things to do. Maybe the woman in question was having a bad day—everyone has them—but our bad days probably shouldn't bleed over onto unsuspecting strangers. Hopefully, the servers and the date got a lesson in kindness and standing up for others.


This article originally appeared on 7.20.23

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Couple in their 30s live permanently on cruise ships for a little over $10K a year

“I’m not a millionaire ... I just live full-time on cruise ships.”

via Matthew Barra/Pexels

A magnificent cruise ship on the ocean.

Giving it all up and retiring to live on a cruise ship at 32 seems like a lifestyle choice only available to the ultra-wealthy. However, two financially savvy retired school teachers from Tennessee have managed to do just that, spending under $10,000 for the first eight months at sea.

Monica Brzoska, 32, and Jorrell Conley, 36, met in 2015 while teaching in Memphis, Tennessee. The following year, they booked a week-long cruise to Mexico, Belize, and Grand Cayman. After that, they were hooked on cruising together.

Eight years later, in March 2023, they booked a week-long Caribbean cruise. When it was over, instead of returning home to Memphis, they had a wild idea: Why not continue to book consecutive cruises? So, they did just that.

Monica was inspired to start living the life she always wanted after her father fell ill and her mother told her: "Don't wait for retirement. Follow your dreams."



The couple crunched the numbers and found that if they chose the cheapest cabins and used the deals they’ve received from Carnival Cruises, they could book the first 8 months for just under $10,000. “It sounds mad, but the numbers made sense. Accommodation, food and entertainment would be included – we’d only need spending money,” Brzoska told The Sun. “And because we’d been on so many Carnival cruises, we’d earned access to some amazing offers.”

Hopping from ship to ship isn’t difficult for the couple because many disembark from the same ports. But they sometimes have to fly when they can’t walk to the next ocean liner.

The couple then quit their jobs, sold their possessions, and started a new life on the high seas. They rent out their 3-bedroom home in Memphis to maintain steady cash flow. The average 3-bedroom home in the area rents somewhere between $1200 to $1900 a month.



Over the first year of their new life, the couple completed 36 consecutive cruises. They have already visited countless destinations across the globe, but they can’t choose a favorite. "For a cultural experience, we loved Japan," Brzoska told a Carnival Cruise director on Instagram. The couple also loved Greece for its “history” and Iceland because it was the "closest to being on Mars."

One of the most incredible benefits of loving on a cruise ship is that so many things are taken care of for you. The couple never has to cook any meals, do any laundry or drive. Every night, there is something to do, whether it’s checking out a comedy show or enjoying drinks and dancing in the nightclub.



Plus, on cruises, just about all the costs are covered, so you rarely have to open your wallet. It’s a stress-free, all-inclusive lifestyle. Brzoska says that when you remove the everyday stresses from life, it’s great for your marriage. “Without the daily stresses of life, we rarely argued, but always told each other if we needed space or more time together,” she said.

The couple also makes sure to have one date night a week, during which they dress up and have a nice meal together.

Most people may be unable to give it all up and live their lives hopping from ocean liner to ocean liner. But there’s a great lesson in the story of Brzoska and Conley: You never know how much time you have left, so don’t wait for retirement to live the life of your dreams.

Upworthy has reached out to Brzoska for comment and is still awaiting a response.









Education

A celebrated teacher's 5-point explanation of why she's quitting has gone viral.

"The school system is broken. It may be broken beyond repair."

Michelle Maile/Facebook

Talented, dedicated teachers are leaving public schools because the system makes it too hard to truly educate kids.

When I studied to become a teacher in college, I learned what education can and should be. I learned about educational psychology and delved into research about how to reach different learners, and couldn't wait to put that knowledge into practice in the classroom.

But after graduating and starting to teach, I quickly saw how the school system makes it almost impossible to put what we know about real learning into practice. The structure and culture of the system simply isn't designed for it.

The developmental default of childhood is to learn. That's why four-year-olds ask hundreds of questions a day, why kids can spend hours experimenting and exploring in nature, and why kids are so much better at figuring out how to use technology. Children are natural, fearless learners when their curiosity is nurtured and they are given an environment where learning can take place.

Most teachers know this. And many find themselves so frustrated by trying to teach within an outdated, ineffective system that they decide to leave. I only lasted a couple of years before deciding other avenues of education were worth exploring. A viral post written by a celebrated teacher highlights why many teachers are doing the same thing.

Michelle Maile was a first grade teacher before she resigned this month, and her 5-point explanation of why she did it is resonating with thousands.

Maile shared on Facebook why she, a celebrated teacher in a great school district, decided to turn in her classroom keys. Her post has been shared more than 67,000 times and has thousands of comments, mostly in solidarity.

"Why would a teacher of the year nominee, who loves what she does, who has the best team, the best students and parents, and was lucky enough to be at the best elementary school not want to come back?", she wrote. "Let me tell you why….

1. Class size. Everything in my training, what I know about kids and what I see every day says that early childhood classes should be at 24 or less. (ideally 22 or less) Kids are screaming for attention. There are so many students who have social or emotional disorders. They NEED their teacher to take time to listen to them. They NEED their teacher to see them. They NEED less students in their class. The people making these decisions are NOT looking out for the students' best interests, and have very obviously NEVER taught elementary kids.

2. Respect. I feel disrespected by the district all year long. They don't trust that I know what I am doing. I have a college degree, go to trainings every year, read books and articles about kids, and most importantly, work with kids every day. I KNOW something about how they learn and what works best for them. Please listen to us.

3. Testing. Stop testing young kids. It doesn't do anyone any good. Do you know which kids slept poorly last night? Do you know who didn't have breakfast? Do you know whose parents are fighting? Do you know who forgot their glasses and can't see the computer? Do you know who struggles to read, but has come so far, just not on your timeline? You don't, but I do. I know some of my best students score poorly on their tests because of life circumstances. I know some of my lower students guessed their way through and got lucky. Why stress kids out by testing them? How about you ask ME, the professional, how they are doing? Ask ME, the teacher who sees these kids every single day. Ask ME, the teacher who knows the handwriting of all 27 kids. Ask ME, the adult in their life who may be more constant than their own parents. Ask ME, then let me teach.

4. I felt like I was drowning. So many things beyond teaching are pushed on teachers. Go to this extra meeting, try this new curriculum, watch this video, then implement it in to your next lesson, fill out this survey monkey to let us know how you feel (even though it won't make any difference), make clothes for the school play, you need to pay for that yourself because there's no money from the school for it. There's no music teacher today, so you don't get a planning time. There are weeks I truly felt like I was drowning and couldn't get a breath until Friday at 5:00. (NOT 3:00)

5. Pay. I knew becoming a teacher would never make me rich. That has never been my goal. I wanted to work with kids. I wanted to help kids. I wanted to make enough money to take care of my own kids. Sadly this isn't the case for so many teachers who have to work two jobs to support their own families. This isn't right."

Maile says the system may be broken beyond repair, which is why she's tapping into a growing educational movement.

"The school system is broken," Maile continued. "It may be broken beyond repair. Why are counselors being taken away when we need them more than ever? Why are art and music classes disappearing when these forms of expression have been proven to release stress in an overstressed world. Why are librarians being cut when we should be encouraging kids to pick up an actual book instead of being behind a screen? Do you know how many elementary students are on anti-anxiety and anti-depression medications? Look. The number will astound you.

So where am I going? Because I still love kids and want to help them with their education, I will be an online charter school teacher. I will be helping families who have chosen to homeschool their kids. They also see that the school system is broken. When I told my school I was leaving, I had multiple veteran teachers say, 'I would do the same if I was younger.' 'I am so glad you are getting out now.' 'It is only going to get worse.' 'I don't see it ever getting better.'

It makes me sad. I have three kids that are still part of this public school system. If you are a public school parent, fight. Fight for your kids. Fight for smaller class sizes and pay raises for overworked teachers. Fight to keep art and music in the schools. Please support teachers whenever and wherever you can. I have been so lucky to have so many amazing parents. I couldn't have done what I have without them. I am sad to leave, but happy to go."

What do you do when an enormous system has so many inherent flaws it feels impossible to change it?

What to do about public education a hard question. Many former teachers like myself strongly believe in public schooling as a foundational element of civilized society, but simply can't see how to make it work well without dismantling the whole thing and starting over.

When I chose to educate my own kids, I was surprised by how many former teachers end up in the homeschooling community. Many of the most well-known proponents of homeschooling were or are public school teachers who advocate for more effective models of education than what we see in the system. There's a lot that could be debated here, but alternative models may be the best places to look for answers to the question of how to fix the system.

At the very least, until we start moving away from copious amounts of testing and toward trusting educators (and paying them well) to do what they've been trained to do, we're going to keep losing great teachers—making an already problematic system even worse.


This article originally appeared on 6.17.19

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Mom offers a tour of her 'average middle-class house' and it's just what people needed to see

“Let’s normalize ‘average’ because there is nothing wrong with it."

@steph_murphy/TikTok

Stephanie Murphy shares her "average" home in viral TikTok video.

Sure, it’s lovely to see pristine, perfectly curated homes that look like they belong in Architectural Digest. A little inspo never hurt anyone. But as we all know, the spotless life is simply not an achievable reality, especially for those with busy lives and limited budgets (read: most of us).

But you know what? Maybe even the messy homes deserve some love. The ones with constant junk piles and unfinished projects and dirty dishes and misplaced toys. The homes that will never grace the cover of a magazine but still do a wonderful job of containing all the moments life has to offer—the big, small, extraordinary, mundane and everywhere in between. Cause at the end of the day, isn’t that a home’s true purpose anyway?

Stephanie Murphy, a mom and TikTok creator, seems to think so. Murphy recently took viewers on an “average house tour,” and it was the exact opposite of aspirational.

.

Highlighted in Murphy’s tour are the pantry door that’s remained unpainted for three years, blinds held together with binder clips, air conditioners held in place by duct tape, a full dish rack tray that’s “a permanent fixture” on their countertops, and not one but two junk drawers (honestly, that’s a little low by my count).

@steph_murphy

Lets normalize “average” because there is nothing wrong with it. Everywhere you look on social media you see big gorgeous houses in perfect condition and its hard not to compare yours to them. But its not the norm and half the time its staged. Our house is lived in, and its filled with love and tons of memories and at the end of the day thats all that matters.

♬ vampire - Olivia Rodrigo

You’ll also notice a fridge that is covered in her kid’s artwork and school pictures. Not in any cohesive way, but merely thrown on randomly, as nature intended.

Meanwhile, in the master bedroom, Murphy and her husband’s bed have two separate blankets because neither of them like to share. A genius idea, and just another example of how we really, really don’t need to continue with marital sleeping norms that don’t actually feel comfortable. Another way is possible!

As for why Murphy decided to showcase her “average, middle-class house,” it’s all in the caption of her video:

“Let’s normalize ‘average’ because there is nothing wrong with it. Everywhere you look on social media, you see big gorgeous houses in perfect condition and it’s hard not to compare yours to them. But it’s not the norm and half the time it's staged. Our house is lived in, and it’s filled with love and tons of memories and at the end of the day that's all that matters."

Judging from the comments sections of this now-viral post, it seems like other people are ready for more average content.

“This is awesome!” one person wrote. “I’m constantly feeling inadequate when people have a perfect house that looks like nobody lives there!”

“I feel seen,” added another.

Hear, hear. No need to feel inadequate about having a home that’s lived in. Imperfection has its own kind of beauty.


This article originally appeared on 8.14.23

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A 3-year-old gave her mom a 25-word master class on what forgiveness really means.

"Tonight I was taught a lesson in forgiveness by a three year old. It was a gut punch, too."

Mom and blogger Mary Katherine Backstrom regularly shares snippets of life with her two children on her Facebook page. One particularly touching interaction with her daughter is melting hearts and blowing minds due to the three-year-old's wise words about forgiveness.

Even adults struggle with the concept of forgiveness. Entire books have been written about how and why to forgive those who have wronged us, but many still have a hard time getting it.

Who would guess that a preschooler could encapsulate what forgiveness means in a handful of innocent words?

Backstrom told the story in a now viral Facebook post:

"My daughter and I just had a knock-down, drag-out bedtime hour. Finally, about ten minutes ago, I put her to bed and through clinched teeth said 'I love you, Holland, but not another word tonight. You are going to sleep now. I'm done fussing over stuffed animals.'



'Mommy?'

I paused on the way out the door, literally biting my tongue I was so frustrated.

'What is it, Holland?'

'I DO have one more thing to say.'

Of course she did. She was standing on the bed with her hands on her hips, too. Her hair was wild and she was using her arm to wipe her tears and snot away from her face.

'Mommy,' my three year old said, staring me down with venom in her tiny voice...

'I FORGIVE YOU!!!'

Then she laid down and cried and honest to goodness, for a hot minute, I didn't know what to do.

The way she said 'I forgive you,' made it sound like cuss words.

I walked over to the bedside and leaned over.

'Baby girl, do you know what forgiveness means?'

She was still sniffling, her face shoved deep into her Little Mermaid pillow.

'Yes,' she muttered.

I really had to hear this.

'It means you were wrong, and I'm tired of being mad, and now I'm going to sleep and my heart won't have a tummy ache.'

So there you have it, folks.

Tonight I was taught a lesson in forgiveness by a three year old. It was a gut punch, too. And you're dang right I climbed in that bed and loved on her.

Because to be honest, MY heart had a bit of a tummy ache.

I was reminded by my toddler to never go to bed in anger. Because when you do, your heart will have a tummy ache.

And you know what? I've been alive for 35 years, and I've got to give it to her:

She's not wrong."


According to experts, the preschooler really isn't wrong.

According to UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center:

"Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

Just as important as defining what forgiveness is, though, is understanding what forgiveness is not. Experts who study or teach forgiveness make clear that when you forgive, you do not gloss over or deny the seriousness of an offense against you. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses. Though forgiveness can help repair a damaged relationship, it doesn't obligate you to reconcile with the person who harmed you, or release them from legal accountability.

Instead, forgiveness brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees him or her from corrosive anger. While there is some debate over whether true forgiveness requires positive feelings toward the offender, experts agree that it at least involves letting go of deeply held negative feelings. In that way, it empowers you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define you, enabling you to heal and move on with your life."

Basically, Holland said the same thing, just in 25 kid-friendly words.

The post has been shared more than 92,000 times, and Backstrom told Upworthy she was pleasantly surprised when it went viral.

"It makes me happy when heartwarming stories go viral," she said, "because I think it's a shared slice of humanity that everyone is finding in common. And in this case, the innocence and profound wisdom that at times comes from the mouths of children."

"I think children are able to speak profound truths," she added, "because they address complex emotions in simple ways. As adults we complicate our approach to conflict. We could learn a lot from toddlers who express their frustration, hug it out, forgive, and move on. It would certainly save us a few 'heart tummy aches.'"

Indeed it would. Thank you, Holland, for the sweet reminder.

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Female doctors share bikini pics after group of mostly male researchers deemed them 'inappropriate'

"I am good at my job, I am a professional. I am a doctor. I am also a human."

via Emily Casey / Twitter

It's no surprise that employers often look at job applicants' social media profiles before hiring them. According to CareerBuilder, 70% of employers "use social media to screen candidates before hiring."

It makes sense because social media profiles can reveal a lot about someone's true personality and employers don't want to take any unnecessary risks.

The Journal of Vascular Surgery did a study where it viewed the social media profiles of 235 medical residents to see if they had "unprofessional or potentially unprofessional content."

The study found that "One-half of recent and soon to be graduating vascular surgery trainees had an identifiable social media account with more than one-quarter of these containing unprofessional content."

The paper with a warning: "Young surgeons should be aware of the permanent public exposure of unprofessional content that can be accessed by peers, patients, and current/future employers."

via Science Direct

At first glance, this study seemed like it was helping graduates with their careers by warning them against social media posts that could get them into trouble. But the study created in a backlash from the medical community because it shamed female doctors.

The major bone of contention that medical professionals had with the study is that the team of predominantly male researchers said that "provocative posing in bikinis/swimwear," "provocative Halloween costumes," and "holding/ consuming alcohol" are all inappropriate.

via Dr M / Twitter

There's nothing wrong with a woman wearing a bikini or anyone having a beer in public, why did the study deem them inappropriate?

The paper inspired female medical professionals to push back against the study by posting shots of themselves in swimwear and imbibing adult beverages under #MedBikini.







Some male allies got in on the hashtag, too.

The backlash prompted one of the authors of the study, Dr. Jeff Siracuse, to apologize for the paper's framing.

"Our intent was to empower surgeons to be aware and then personally decide what may be easily available for our patients and colleagues to see about us social media," Siracuse wrote on Twitter.

"However, this was clearly not the result. We realize that the definition of professionalism is rapidly changing in medicine and that we need to support our trainees and surgeons as our society changes without the appearance of judgment."


This article originally appeared on 7.24.20

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