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Family

'Why women leave’: Wife who 'does everything' shares why she left her husband who did nothing

This is a common story in many households.

divorce, tiktok, why couples divorce

A woman is upset with her husband and wants to leave him.

There are a few big reasons why 70% of divorces in the United States among heterosexual couples are filed by women. Women have more economic opportunities than in decades past and are better positioned to care for themselves and their children without a husband’s income.

Another big reason is that even though the world has become much more egalitarian than in the past, women still bear the brunt of most of the emotional labor in the home. Gilza Fort-Martinez, a Florida, US-based licensed couples’ therapist, told the BBC that men are socialized to have lower emotional intelligence than women, leaving their wives to do most of the emotional labor.

Secondly, studies show that women still do most of the domestic work in the home, so many are pulling double duty for their households.

A TikTokker with two children (@thesoontobeexwife) shared why she decided to leave her husband of two decades and her story recounts a common theme: She did all the work and her husband did little but complain.

The video, entitled “Why women leave,” has received over 2 million views.

@thesoontobeexwife

Y’all I laughed when I realized he truly does treat me better now then when he was trying to be in a marriage with me. How is this better?? How did I ever think before was ok?? #toxicrelationship #divorce #mentalloadofmotherhood #divorcetok #divorceisanoption #chooseyou #mentalhealth #mentalload #fyp #mentalload #emotionallabor

“So for the men out there who watch this, which frankly I kind of hope there aren’t any, you have an idea maybe what not to do,” she starts the video. “Yesterday, I go to work all day, go pick up one kid from school, go grocery shopping, go pick up the other kid from school, come home. Kids need a snack–make the snack. Kids want to play outside – we play outside.”

Her husband then comes home after attending a volunteer program, which she didn’t want him to join, and the self-centeredness begins. “So he gets home, he eats the entire carton of blueberries I just purchased for the children’s lunch and asks me what’s for dinner. I tell him I don’t know because the kids had a late snack and they’re not hungry yet,” she says in the video.

She then explains how the last time he cooked, which was a rare event, he nearly punched a hole in the wall because he forgot an ingredient. Their previous home had multiple holes in the walls. Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist and host of the Power of Different podcast, says that when punch walls it’s a sign that they haven’t “learned to deal with anger in a reasonable way.”

“Anyway, finally one kid is hungry,” the TikTokker continues. “So I offered to make pancakes because they’re quick and easy and it’s late. He sees the pancake batter and sees that there’s wheat flour in it and starts complaining. Says he won’t eat them. Now I am a grown adult making pancakes for my children who I am trying to feed nutritionally balanced meals. So yes, there’s wheat flour in the pancake mix.”

Then her husband says he’s not doing the dishes because he didn’t eat any pancakes. “Friends, the only thing this man does around this house is dishes occasionally. If I cook, he usually does the dishes. I cook most nights. But here’s the thing. That’s all he does. I do everything else. Everything. Everything.”

She then listed all of the household duties she handles.

“I cook, I clean the bathrooms, I make the lunches, I make the breakfasts, I mow the lawn, I do kids’ bedtime. I literally do everything and he does dishes once a day, maybe,” she says.

@thesoontobeexwife

I HAVE OFFICIALLY FILED FOR DIVORCE 🎉 #divorce #divorcetok #toxicrelationship #divorceisanoption #fyp #mentalhealth #chooseyou #iamenough #iwillnotbeafraid #mentalloadofmotherhood #emotionallabor

The video received over 8700 comments and most of them were words of support for the TikTokker who would go on to file for divorce from her husband.

"The amount of women I’ve heard say that their male partners are only teaching how to be completely independent of them, theirs going to be so many lonely men out there," Gwen wrote. "I was married to someone just like this for over 35 years. You will be so happy when you get away from him," BeckyButters wrote.

"The way you will no longer be walking on eggshells in your own home is an amazing feeling. You got this!" Barf Simpson added.


This article originally appeared last year.

Blink, a new documentary from NatGeo, is now streaming on Disney+ and Hulu.

True

It’s December, and we’re all currently in the thick of it: Wrapping presents, baking cookies, and scouring the toy aisles for that must-have gift of the season. But in the middle of all the holiday chaos, it’s easy to lose sight on what the season is really about: making meaningful memories with our loved ones.

From volunteering to building a bucket list to watching maybe the most uplifting documentary we’ve ever seen, we’ve put together five simple and wholesome activities that will leave you and the entire family a little more connected and a whole lot happier. Ready to make memories that last? Let’s dive in.

Make a difference close to home

littlefreepantry.org

A 2023 analysis from the journal Frontiers in Psychology showed that people who regularly volunteered in their communities had greater self-esteem, more self-reported happiness, and a greater sense of personal fulfillment. (Um, yes, please.) If that sounds like something you want to experience as well, then you're in luck: There's no better time to lend a helping hand than during the holiday season. You could shovel a neighbor's driveway, buy presents for kids in need, or—who knows? You might want to be super ambitious, like setting up a food pantry or volunteering as an "interim parent" like this woman, who cares for babies and young children while their adoptions are being finalized. The sky is the limit.

Watch this feel-good, family flick

Get the tissues ready: This is maybe the most uplifting documentary you’re ever going to see. The film, “Blink,” follows a family with four children, three of whom have a rare genetic disease called retinitis pigmentosa (RP). With RP, the cells of the retina slowly die off, leaving a person with tunnel vision that shrinks until they are nearly—or totally—blind.

The parents, Edith Lemay and Sébastien Pelletier, decide to gift their children with incredible sights and experiences so that they can treasure them forever, even after their sight is gone. The film follows the Pelletier family as they make a bucket list and set out on a year-long journey across 24 countries to make some incredible memories.

For some seriously wholesome holiday goodness, stream "Blink," now on Disney+ and Hulu.

Make your very own bucket list

person writing bucket list on bookPhoto by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

To fulfill their dreams, the Pelletier family in the National Geographic documentary "Blink" created a bucket list with every kind of memory they wanted to fulfill, from seeing a sunrise on a mountain to "drink[ing] juice on a camel." (Because, sure. Why not?) Spend some time thinking of your own dreams you'd like to fufill. This is the perfect activity if you're looking for something creative and family-friendly—just gather the kids around for a brainstorming sesh and let the ideas fly. You might not actually complete all of these items (or any of them), but dreaming them up and spending time together is half the fun.

Spread some holiday cheer


Whatever your family’s ages and interests, there are a thousand different ways to spread holiday cheer this season, whether you’re singing Christmas carols door-to-door or just exchanging a warm holiday greeting. If you need inspiration, look no further than John Reichart, 74, who (just like the Pelletier kids) wants to create new memories for his family while he's still able to. Following his wife Joan’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis, Reichart set out to decorate every house in their neighborhood with lights and decorations purchased out of his own pocket. Simply inspirational.

Make someone's life a little easier. 

I need this goober in my life.
byu/kenistod inMadeMeSmile

The holiday season is all about giving and togetherness, but let’s be real, it’s no easy feat. Sometimes we can get stressed, overwhelmed, and exhausted. One surefire way to make this world a better place is to think of ways to make someone’s life just a little easier, like this mom who picks up her teenager’s bedroom every morning after he goes to school. You could even send a note of encouragement to someone who needs it, or bake some treats and leave them out for a hangry delivery driver.

It’s probably easier than you think to spread the love and leave the world a little happier than you found it.

Joy

Guy shares a simple, 2-minute solution to friendship distancing, calls it 'game-changing'

The "Wednesday Waffle" has become a weekly tradition for friend groups around the world.

The "Wednesday Waffle" is taking hold of friend groups everywhere.

One of the realities of adulthood is that friendships morph and change, even if we don't want them to. As friends who were once close embark on individual life adventures—moving away from home, finding jobs, getting into relationships, starting families—it's inevitable that friendships will shift and some distancing will happen. That's life, but that doesn't mean that we can't make an effort to maintain connection and create ways of keeping in touch with the people we care about.

In the olden days, friends would correspond with letters, but technology gives us many more ways to stay in touch. Unfortunately, smartphone use can easily overtake our lives, and figuring out how to utilize technology in a healthy and productive way can be tricky. But a video explaining a "game-changing" weekly tradition that provides a simple, quick way to keep up with our friends' lives has people wanting to create a "Wednesday Waffle" themselves..

"As I get older, I'm getting used to the fact that I don't hear from my friends as often as I used to," says Kirx Diaz. "And I understand, life is lifing, and I live 3,000 miles away from a lot of my closest people, but it's something that I've really had to come to terms with."

"However," he adds, "about a month and a half ago, we were introduced to this concept called the Wednesday Waffle, and basically what this is is a two-minute video life update talking about what we've been up to that week, how we've been feeling, and kind of everything in between. And I can't lie, it's been game-changing. The group chat's always going off, we know who's going through it, who's doing well, who we need to check up on throughout the week. And for the first time in a long time, I actually feel closer to my friends now than I did when I was living back home."

The Wednesday Waffle idea originally went viral from another guy on Instagram, who explained how he and his group of three friends send one another brief video updates every Wednesday. As @nonpractisinggenius explains, "waffling" with friends is "a game changer for maintaining long distance friendships." Some of the benefits he points out include:

- It takes just two minutes
- Fights feelings of loneliness
- Brings joy to the week
- Deepens connections
- Accommodates different schedules / timezones

When Americans hear "Wednesday Waffle," they may assume that it's something like Taco Tuesday, but "waffle" in this case is an Australian slang term for talking. "It’s just Aussie talk for speaking at length about nothing in particular. (think jibber jabber, yammer, natter, babble)" the originator explains.

It wasn't until he showed his partner a "waffle" from a friend who had recently had a baby that he realized how impactful it was. "She was really blown away by the fact that we'd been sending these Wednesday Waffles to each other every Wednesday for a couple of years," he said. She just thought it was such a great thing for friends to do to stay connected, and it made me kinda think about it. I've been taking it for granted, but it is such a good thing and I look forward to their video every Wednesday. So maybe this is something other people can introduce to their life."

People in the comments have been sharing their experiences starting up a similar habit with their friends. It doesn't have to be on Wednesdays and it doesn't have to be any specific length, but keeping the videos short and sweet help it become a sustainable practice.

"Put this vid in a group chat with 5 of my boys… everyone participated and it was a pretty great, and connective experience. I hope we are able to keep it up. Except we waffled on a Thursday."

"I sent this video to my 2 best friends in our group chat about a month ago and we have been doing this every week since. It’s been amazing because they both have crazy travel schedules with work and we have been able to see so much from each other in such a short time. Thank you for posting this, I can’t wait to see how we evolve it moving forward. ❤️"

"Started Wednesday waffles with the boyz this morning. Thanks for the suggestion."

"Dude! Me and my mates started this a few weeks ago. The absolute joy it brings us all every week is irreplaceable. Thanks for the inspiration. Legend. 🙌"

Whether you're wanting to keep in touch with one friend or a handful of them, a weekly "waffle" on a specific day of the week might just be the simple solution you've been looking for. Friendships do change over time and life legitimately makes keeping up with friends a challenge, but we don't have to resign ourselves to losing touch with people we care about when we have the technology to stay connected. All it takes is a few minutes and the ability to press record and send.

A teenage boy stars at his smartphone.

Studies show that kids are spending a lot less time reading these days. In 2020, 42% of 9-year-old students said they read for fun almost daily, down from 52% in 2012. Seventeen percent of 13-year-olds read for fun daily, down from 27% in 2012. Among 17-year-olds, 19% say they read for fun, down from 31% in 1984.

It’s safe to say that modern technology is a big reason why kids aren’t reading as much. A recent report found that teenagers spend an average of 8 hours 39 minutes per day on screens, compared to 5-and-a-half hours for pre-teen children. So, it’s no wonder they don’t have any time left to crack open a book. A high school teacher on TikTok who goes by the name StillATeacher recently brought the topic up with her class, and they stopped reading for fun at the end of middle school.

“So even those who are like avid readers of the Percy Jackson series in fourth and fifth grade fall off,” the teacher says. “Honestly, there are many reasons to stop reading recreationally, like increased pressure inside and outside of school, a desire to spend more time socializing, and, of course, the phones.”

But the teacher says there’s an obvious reason “right in front of our faces”: the adults. “Adults have lowered the bar for how much you should read as a teenager so far that the bar cannot be found,” she continued. “There are many educators who have the mindset that you shouldn't teach whole books because kids just won't read them.”

@stillateacher

the literacy crisis is upon us #teachertok #teacher #highschoolteacher #englishteacher #education #literacy #booktok #creatorsearchinsights

“I've taught at schools where teaching novels is actually discouraged,” she continued. “And I have conversations with teachers in other content areas who say that they themselves never read books, that they don't think it's important for students' long-term success. All this said, it is not entirely surprising that high schoolers don't wanna read.”

How does reading benefit kids?

The significant decrease in the number of children who read for fun means that many will miss out on the incredible benefits of regularly curling up for a good book. Studies show that children who read for pleasure enjoy improved cognitive performance, language development, and academic achievement. Reading is also linked to fewer mental health problems, less screen time, and more sleep. Findings suggest that kids get the optimal benefits of reading when they do it for around 12 hours a week.



“You forgot empathy,” one commenter added. “People who read are better at empathizing because they have been able to put themselves in the shoes of others and learn about different perspectives, people, cultures, experiences.”

StillATeacher has seen these incredible benefits first-hand.

“But I'm telling you, the handful of kids I teach who do read are built different. Kids who read have stronger critical thinking skills, more success across all academic areas, and, honestly, just a stronger sense of self. Because reading helps you figure out who you are as a person,” the teacher said.

The decline in young people's reading is a serious problem that must be addressed. So, it’s terrific that the teacher used her platform on TikTok to bring it to the public’s attention. Interestingly enough, she says that TikTok is one of the few platforms encouraging kids to read.

“And honestly, thank goodness for BookTok because I think it is one of the only drivers of adolescent reading that still exists,” she concluded her post. “Isn't that sad? Like, the schools aren't doing it, TikTok's doing it. We gotta start a movement here.”

Family

People are supporting a dad whose wife named their newborn while he went out for coffee

He didn't like the name, either. Shouldn’t it be a 50/50 decision?

via Canva

A mother smiles proudly after naming her baby.

Most people believe that both parents have an equal right to choose their baby’s name and that it should result from an agreement between both parties. That doesn't mean it’s always easy for both people to agree on the same name, but look, if you’re going to be a successful parent, you must know how to make compromises occasionally. Starting the job with your heels dug in does not bode well for anyone.

That’s why the following story is interesting. It shows what happens when a mother decides she can make the decision all by herself and what the fallout is like when her husband and his family find out. The story was recently shared on social media, and the commenters were shocked that she wasn’t sure if she was in the wrong.

"So, my (32F) husband (33M) and I just had our first baby girl a couple of weeks ago,” she begins the story. “We’d been going back and forth on names during my entire pregnancy. I really wanted to name her Eleanor after my late grandmother, who basically raised me when my parents weren’t around. She was my hero, and losing her last year was devastating. Honoring her felt deeply important.”

The woman’s husband preferred modern names such as Nova or Ember, which the mother just “couldn’t connect with,” so they never compromised.

baby names, parents of newborns, momsCaouple can't agree on baby names.via Canva

“On the day our daughter was born, while my husband stepped out to grab coffee, a nurse asked if we had a name for the birth certificate. I know I should have waited, but I was emotional and felt this rush of conviction. I just blurted out, ‘Eleanor.’”

When the husband returned with the coffee, he was “furious.”

“He said I’d blindsided him, robbed him of having a say, and that our daughter would hate her 'old lady' name. His family is also calling me manipulative. I feel terrible about the timing and how it all went down, but it’s not like we hadn’t discussed Eleanor before. I just feel like I honored a name that truly mattered to me when he wouldn’t budge.”

The mother asked the commenters if the father was overreacting because “we couldn’t find common ground.”

The commenters overwhelmingly supported the father in the situation. “You made a unilateral decision about your shared child,” the top commenter wrote. “You literally started her life by using her as a centerpiece for conflict with your husband. You also isolated her from your husband during the first major decision regarding her. What a terrible way to start her life.”

“‘…it’s not like we hadn’t discussed Eleanor before.’ You discussed it and he said no. Personally, I think the name Eleanor is lovely, but that’s not the issue,” another commenter noted. “You unilaterally made a decision —a decision a you knew your husband disagreed with—about your—both of your—child. Your giving birth doesn’t make this child any less his. Your husband and his family are absolutely right. You blindsided him."

baby names, parents of newborns, momsA newborn baby. via Canva

However, a few commenters believed whoever birthed the child had the right to pick the name, even if the father disagreed. “This might be the only daughter you have and if he can’t make it meaningful for you when you just risked your life for this baby and let you have the win then idk,” one of the few supporters of the mother wrote. ”I would let him pick the middle name. Trendy names are overrated.”

The woman who posted her story has yet to follow up and share what happened next, but let’s hope she took the commenters’ advice and apologized to her husband and changed the baby's name. Most agree that it's not fair for him to call his daughter a name he doesn’t like for the rest of their lives and it will always be a sore spot in their relationship. It’s best to bring a child into a family where everyone is on the same page and agrees on the things that matter most.

via Global News/YouTube

Newscasters can't stop laughing after trying Leslie Horton's awful artichoke dip.

Eight years ago, Calgary traffic reporter Leslie Horton unleashed one of the most disgusting concoctions ever tasted on live television, and people still can’t get enough of the hilarious video. The team at Global News Calgary was sharing holiday recipes and Horton wanted to bring a fruitcake from a local supermarket, but her sister had a killer artichoke dip that she begged the reporter to make.

What could go wrong with a reliable artichoke dip recipe? A lot, evidently. “It didn’t work out. I’m telling you right now, this did not work out,” Horton admitted while presenting the dip to meteorologist Jordan Witzel and anchors Scott Fee and Amber Schinkel. “I thought it smelled like a barn,” Fee said. “Is it edible?” The crazy thing is that although they were warned about the dip, Schinkel and Witzel still had a taste.

Witzel was brave enough to eat it on a cracker and immediately regretted it. "It's not that bad. It's — the vinegar," he said before spitting it up in a napkin. Schinkel thought the same thing: “That’s like all that I can taste is vinegar,” she laughed. “It burns.” But the funny thing is that Horton swore there wasn’t any vinegar in the recipe. So, where did the strange taste come from?

Horton was utterly puzzled that the artichoke dip didn't taste right. "Do you think something is off? Like, maybe do you think the artichokes are off? Well, ok, I didn't have a lemon, so I just cut up an orange and put that in there. And then, I didn't know what spices to put in, so I put celery salt and oregano in it," she said while holding back her laughter.

- YouTubeyoutu.be

Later, Horton admitted why the artichoke dip had such a strong vinegar taste. She used marinated artichokes instead of fresh artichokes. Marinated artichokes are usually made with olive oil, lemon juice, garlic, herbs like oregano and thyme, salt, pepper, and sometimes a splash of vinegar; hence the strong taste.



“It was just another kitchen experiment gone wrong for me, but this time my co-workers were unfortunately subject to my free-wheeling in the kitchen,” Horton later wrote on Twitter. She also noted that she brought the dip to a work potluck, but nobody touched it.



After the video was posted on YouTube, it quickly went viral. Since being posted in 2016, it has 22 million views. Horton said it was “an honest moment of good fun, caught on live TV,” she told Global News. “My co-workers’ reactions were priceless. We all have fails, and viewers like to know their morning team is just like them.”

Here’s the correct artichoke dip recipe that Horton swears is delicious.

2 cans artichokes drained and chopped

1 can chopped green chilies drained

2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice

½ freshly grated Asiago or Parmesan cheese

½ to ¾ cup Mayo

Combine all ingredients and cook in oven until hot and bubbly. Serve with crackers and veggies.

Education

The astronomer who discovered what stars are made of almost went unrecognized for her work

Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin wrote "the most brilliant Ph.D. thesis ever written in astronomy" but encountered roadblock after roadblock due to gender bias.

Public Domain

Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin was the first to discover that stars were primarily hydrogen and helium.

If you asked an average person to name influential astronomers in history, Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin likely wouldn't be among them. But there's an argument to be made that she should be a household name. She's the reason we know what stars are made of, but gender bias nearly kept the astrophysicist from gaining the recognition she deserved.

When 25-year-old Cecilia Payne put forth her thesis saying that stars were mostly hydrogen and helium in 1925, it went against the scientific consensus that stars were composed of the same elements as planets. Her breakthrough research proved that hydrogen, the simplest atom, was one of the most fundamental building blocks of the entire cosmos—a foundational fact that informs space research to this day. So why isn't she more familiar to us?

A gifted scientist from childhood

Payne-Gaposchkin proved to be a gifted scientist from an early age, and her parents made sure she had the best science education they could provide in her home country of England. At 19, she entered University of Cambridge on scholarship and soon fell in love with physics. But women in science were expected to study botany, and she soon found herself being humiliated as the only woman in a physics class taught by Nobel Prize winner Ernest Rutherford, a renowned pioneer in atomic and nuclear studies. “At every lecture [Rutherford] would gaze at me pointedly…and would begin in his stentorian voice: 'Ladies and gentlemen,'" she wrote in her autobiography. "All the boys regularly greeted this witticism with thunderous applause [and] stamping with their feet…at every lecture I wished I could sink into the earth. To this day I instinctively take my place as far back as possible in a lecture room.”

She found a more supportive mentor in astrophysicist Arthur Eddington, but even he told her she wouldn't have opportunities in England as a female astronomer after she finished at Cambridge. He did, however, offer her a glowing recommendation to work with Harlow Shapley, director of the Harvard College Observatory, who was starting up a graduate studies program. In 1923, Payne moved to the U.S. to continue her studies at Harvard.

A brilliant thesis thwarted

However, she faced limitations due to her sex there as well. Women played a significant role at Harvard, largely in the role of human computers. In analyzing spectral data that Harvard computers had painstakingly collected and organized, Payne-Gaposchkin discovered that spectra from ionized atoms, like those in the hot outer atmosphere of stars, differed from neutral atoms of the same kind. Combining what she gleaned from her data analysis with a previously untested theory from Indian physicist Meghnad Saha, she produced her thesis, Stellar Atmospheres.

a group of women working at harvard in 1925Cecilia Payne (top row, second from the left) with other women working at Harvard in 1925Harvard University Archives

Part of her thesis was well-received, but the part in which she discovered helium was 1000 times more abundant and hydrogen was 1,000,000 times more abundant in the stars than previously thought hit a bump. Princeton Observatory director Henry Russell, an outside examiner of her thesis, thought the idea that the Sun was made almost entirely of hydrogen simply couldn't be true. "It is clearly impossible that hydrogen should be a million times more abundant than the metals,” he wrote to her. She would not be able to have her thesis accepted without Russell signing off on it, so she did was she felt she must. In her final draft, she wrote, “The enormous abundance derived for [hydrogen and helium] is almost certainly not real,” essentially disowning that part of her research result.

Proven right but without recognition

Ironically, Russell himself would prove her right just a few years later. In 1929, Russell published his own research, which had the same conclusion as Payne-Gaposhckin's but by a different method. He cited Payne-Gaposchkin’s work, noting that his results agreed with hers. However, he did not state that he had originally rejected her (correct) thesis. Later, Payne-Gaposhckin expressed regret at waffling on her findings. "I was to blame for not having pressed my point," she wrote in her autobiography. "I had given in to Authority when I believed I was right…I note it here as a warning to the young. If you are sure of your facts, you should defend your position.”

Payne-Gaposhckin continued research work and taught graduate courses, though she wasn't given the title of "professor" or even "instructor." Officially, she was Shapley's "technical assistant." When Shapley approached the dean and president of Harvard to have that changed, both refused. The president, Abbot Lawrence Lowell, said that Miss Payne “would never have a position in the University as long as he was alive."

Roadblock after roadblock simply because she was a woman

The biases against Payne-Gaposhckin as a woman stymied her again and again, but she persevered in her life's work. She technically earned the first Ph.D. in astronomy at Harvard, but it was officially awarded by Radcliffe, the women's college because Harvard's physics department chair refused to accept a woman candidate. She was paid poorly for her work and wasn't given any titles or positions that a man of her ability and qualifications would have been given. When Shapley launched the full department of astronomy at Harvard, he wanted Payne-Gaposchkin—his best researcher—to serve as its first chair, but he knew Lowell wouldn't allow it, so she was passed over for a male astronomer.

Despite teaching and researching, writing books and hundreds of papers, it would be three decades before Payne-Gaposchkin's contributions to astrophysics were recognized. She basically had to wait for the men with strong anti-woman biases to step down or retire and for men who saw and honored her brilliance to give her the recognition she had rightfully earned.

Finally a full professor and department chair

On June 21, 1956, The New York Times reported, “Harvard University announced today the appointment of Dr. Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin as Professor of Astronomy. She is the first woman to attain full professorship at Harvard through regular faculty promotion.” A few months later, she also became the first woman to head a department at Harvard as she became chair of the astronomy department. And a few years later, in 1960, distinguished astronomer Otto Struve referred to Payne-Gaposchkin's Stellar Atmospheres as “the most brilliant Ph.D. thesis ever written in astronomy.”

closeup of the sunThe sun and other stars are primarily made of hydrogen and helium.Photo credit: Canva

Perhaps most impressive is that, through all of her hard work and continuous road blocks due to her gender, Payne-Gaposchkin managed to marry a fellow astronomer and raise three children. As physicist and author Sidney Perkowitz writes in Physics World writes in Physics World:

"In some sense, one might say she 'had it all' in combining science with family and children, but getting there was unnecessarily difficult and gruelling because of bias against women. She became a full professor only at age 56, much later than a man with similar achievements would have reached that status, and after being passed over for advancement, which must have taken a psychological toll. Only a person with exceptional drive and persistence, along with scientific ability, could have endured until final recognition."

In 1976, three years before she died, the American Astronomical Society awarded Payne-Gaposchkin the prestigious Henry Norris Russell Prize. In her acceptance lecture, she said, “The reward of the young scientist is the emotional thrill of being the first person in the history of the world to see something or to understand something.”

Thank you, Dr. Payne-Gaposchkin, for not only being the first person on Earth to see what stars are made of, but for doing so in the face of all the obstacles unnecessarily placed in your path.