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Family

'Why women leave’: Woman who 'does everything' shares why she left her husband who did nothing

This is a common story in many households.

divorce, tiktok, why couples divorce
via Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels

A woman is upset with her husband and wants to leave him.

There are a few prominent reasons why 70% of divorces in the United States among heterosexual couples are filed by women. Women have more economic opportunities than in decades past and are better positioned to care for themselves and their children without a husband’s income.

Another big reason is that even though the world has become much more egalitarian than in the past, women still bear the brunt of most of the emotional labor in the home. In 2022, Gilza Fort-Martinez, a Florida-based licensed couples’ therapist, told the BBC that men are socialized to have lower emotional intelligence than women, leaving their wives to do most of the emotional labor.

Secondly, studies show that women still do most of the domestic work in the home, and, among couples with children, women are often the default parent. In short, many women are pulling double or triple duty for their households.

In 2023, a TikToker with two children (now @littleoldme_myversion, but formerly @thesoontobeexwife) shared why she decided to leave her husband of two decades and her story recounts a common theme: She did all the work and her husband did little but complain.

The video, entitled “Why women leave,” has received over 2 million views.

@littleoldme_myversion

Y’all I laughed when I realized he truly does treat me better now then when he was trying to be in a marriage with me. How is this better?? How did I ever think before was ok?? #toxicrelationship #divorce #mentalloadofmotherhood #divorcetok #divorceisanoption #chooseyou #mentalhealth #mentalload #fyp #mentalload #emotionallabor

“So for the men out there who watch this, which frankly I kind of hope there aren’t any, you have an idea maybe what not to do,” she starts the video. “Yesterday, I go to work all day, go pick up one kid from school, go grocery shopping, go pick up the other kid from school, come home. Kids need a snack–make the snack. Kids want to play outside – we play outside.”

Her husband then comes home after attending a volunteer program, which she didn’t want him to join, and the self-centeredness begins. “So he gets home, he eats the entire carton of blueberries I just purchased for the children’s lunch and asks me what’s for dinner. I tell him I don’t know because the kids had a late snack and they’re not hungry yet,” she says in the video.

She then explains how the last time he cooked, which was a rare event, he nearly punched a hole in the wall because he forgot an ingredient. Their previous home had multiple holes in the walls. Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist and host of the Power of Different podcast, says that when men punch walls, it’s a sign that they haven’t “learned to deal with anger in a reasonable way.”

“Anyway, finally one kid is hungry,” the TikToker continues. “So, I offered to make pancakes because they’re quick and easy and it’s late. He sees the pancake batter and sees that there’s wheat flour in it and starts complaining. Says he won’t eat them. Now, I am a grown adult making pancakes for my children who I am trying to feed nutritionally balanced meals. So yes, there’s wheat flour in the pancake mix.”

Then her husband says he’s not doing the dishes because he didn’t eat any pancakes. “Friends, the only thing this man does around this house is dishes occasionally. If I cook, he usually does the dishes. I cook most nights. But here’s the thing: That’s all he does. I do everything else. Everything. Everything.”

She then listed all of the household duties she handles.

“I cook, I clean the bathrooms, I make the lunches, I make the breakfasts, I mow the lawn, I do kids’ bedtime. I literally do everything and he does dishes once a day, maybe,” she says.



@littleoldme_myversion

I HAVE OFFICIALLY FILED FOR DIVORCE 🎉 #divorce #divorcetok #toxicrelationship #divorceisanoption #fyp #mentalhealth #chooseyou #iamenough #iwillnotbeafraid #mentalloadofmotherhood #emotionallabor

The video received over 8,700 comments and most of them were words of support for the TikToker who would go on to file for divorce from her husband.

"The amount of women I’ve heard say that their male partners are only teaching how to be completely independent of them, theirs going to be so many lonely men out there," one commenter wrote. "I was married to someone just like this for over 35 years. You will be so happy when you get away from him," another said.

"The way you will no longer be walking on eggshells in your own home is an amazing feeling. You got this!" one more added.

Two years on, our TikToker is doing well. Her page is dedicated to "single motherhood," "life in [my] 40s," and, of course, "loads of Taylor Swift [and] some books." In a recent TikTok video, she shares footage of a show where people of all ages and stages are dancing to a cover of Taylor Swift's "I Can Do it With a Broken Heart" with text overlay that reads, "The only kind of men I will accept in life, those that enthusiastically sing Taylor Swift and Chappell Roan." Honestly, that's the standard and more power to her.

@littleoldme_myversion

If I ever date a man again they have to like Taylor, Chappell and alllllll the girly pop #taylorswift #chappellroan #swifttok #swiftie #pop #girlypop @Taylor Swift @Taylor Nation @chappell roan

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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Science

The 'world's slowest experiment,' going for nearly 100 years, is still endlessly fascinating

It takes nearly a decade for one drop of this liquid to fall.

upload.wikimedia.org

John Mainstone was the custodian of the Pitch Drop Experiment for 52 years.

Because we use water all the time, most of us have an intuitive sense of how long it takes a drop of water to form and fall. More viscous liquids, like oil or shampoo or honey, drop more slowly depending on how thick they are, which can vary depending on concentration, temperature and more. If you've ever tried pouring molasses, you know why it's used as a metaphor for something moving very slowly, but we can easily see a drop of any of those liquids form and fall in a matter of seconds.

But what about the most viscous substance in the world? How long does it take to form a falling drop? A few minutes? An hour? A day?

How about somewhere between 7 and 13 years?

pitch drop experiment, tar pitch, solid or liquid, physics, world's longest experimentPitch moves so slowly it can't be seen to be moving with the naked eye until it prepares to drop. Battery for size reference.John Mainstone/University of Queensland

The Pitch Drop Experiment began in 1927 with a scientist who had a hunch. Thomas Parnell, a physicist at the University of Queensland in Australia, believed that tar pitch, which appears to be a solid and shatters like glass when hit with a hammer at room temperature, is actually a liquid. So he set up an experiment that would become the longest-running—and the world's slowest—experiment on Earth to test his hypothesis.

Parnell poured molten pitch it into a funnel shaped container, then let it settle and cool for three years. That was just to get the experiment set up so it could begin. Then he opened a hole at the bottom of the funnel to see how long it would take for the pitch to ooze through it, form a droplet, and drop from its source.

It took eight years for the first drop to fall. Nine years for the second. Those were the only two drops Parnell was alive for before he passed away in 1948.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

In total, there have been nine pitch drops in the University of Queensland experiment. The first seven drops fell between 7 and 9 years apart, but when air conditioning was added to the building after the seventh drop, the amount of time between drops increased significantly. The drops in 2000 and 2014 happened approximately 13 years after the preceding one. (The funnel is set up as a demonstration with no special environmental controls, so the seasons and conditions of the building can easily affect the flow of the pitch.)

The next drop is anticipated to fall sometime in the 2020s.

pitch drop experiment, tar pitch, solid or liquid, physics, world's longest experimentThe first seven drops fell around 8 years apart. Then the building got air conditioning and the intervals changed to around 13 years.RicHard-59

Though Parnell proved his hypothesis well before the first drop even fell, the experiment continued to help scientists study and measure the viscosity of tar pitch. The thickest liquid substance in the world, pitch is estimated to be 2 million times more viscous than honey and 20 billion times the viscosity of water. No wonder it takes so ridiculously long to drop.

One of the most interesting parts of the Pitch Drop Experiment is that in the no one has ever actually witnessed one of the drops falling at the Queensland site. The drops, ironically, happen rather quickly when they do finally happen, and every time there was some odd circumstance that kept anyone from seeing them take place.

The Queensland pitch drop funnel is no longer the only one in existence, however. In 2013, Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland, managed to capture its own pitch drop on camera. You can see how it looks as if nothing is happening right up until the final seconds when it falls.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Today, however, with the internet and modern technology, it's likely that many people will be able to witness the next drop when it happens. The University of Queensland has set up a livestream of the Pitch Drop Experiment, which you can access here, though watching the pitch move more slowly than the naked eye can detect is about as exciting as watching paint dry.

But one day, within a matter of seconds, it will drop, hopefully with some amount of predictability as to the approximate day at least. How many people are going to be watching a livestream for years, waiting for it to happen?

PoorJohn Mainstone was the custodian of the experiment for 52 years, from 1961 to 2013. Sadly, he never got to witness any of the five drops that took place during his tenure. Neither did Parnell himself with the two that took place while he was alive.

John Mainstone, pitch drop experiment, university of queensland, physicsJohn Mainstone, the second custodian of the Pitch Drop Experiment, with the funnel in 1990.John Mainstone, University of Queensland

Sometimes science is looks like an explosive chemical reaction and sometimes it's a long game of waiting and observing at the speed of nature. And when it comes to pitch dripping through a funnel, the speed of nature is about as slow as it gets.


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Pets

Frat brothers reunite lost Yorkie with woman 5 years after he went missing during Hurricane Laura

Kingston the Yorkie became an honorary Kappa Sigma member at the University of Southern Mississippi.

LOCAL 12/YouTube

Kappa Sigma fraternity at the University of Southern Mississippi reunite lost Yorkie with owner.

The men of Kappa Sigma fraternity at the University of Southern Mississippi in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, are officially heroes. After finding a cute Yorkie outside the frat house on March 30, Kappa Sigma President Neal Rachal began the hunt for his missing family. Little did he know, it was over 300 miles away.

According to USA TODAY, Rachal assumed its owners were nearby, and began to spread the word about the missing dog. His frat brothers happily took him in for over a week while the search ensued, affectionately calling him 'Benji'. He quickly felt right at home.

"He hung out with a bunch of my pledge brothers and just guys around the house. And then whenever we had an intramural softball game, he'd come to the softball game with us. I know he went to Walmart and the local grocery store a couple of times," Rachal said. "I mean, wherever we went he was with us."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

After no leads, Kappa Gamma's Vice President John Christopher decided to take Benji to a local veterinarian to see if he had been microchipped. To their surprise, he had.

Through a service called PetLink, they learned that 'Benji' was actually named Kingston. "I walk in the house and John said, 'He's Kingston' and I was like, "What are you talking about, dude?'" Rachal told the newspaper. "And he was like 'No, Benji is Kingston. He's from Lake Charles, Louisiana, and he's been missing for five years.'"

The Kappa Sigma frat brothers learned that Kingston's owner was named Laura LaFleur, and she was contacted immediately via email through the service to inform her Kingston had been found. LaFleur had spent 5 long years searching for Kingston (who is now 11 years old), and had given up hope of finding him.

According to WDAM 7, Kingston went missing in 2020 after Hurricane Laura. "I never thought I would see him again," she told the news station. With her son, LaFleur made the 4-hour drive to Hattiesburg to be reunited with Kingston. "As soon as she got out of the car and he saw her, we've never seen Benji [Kingston] run like that. He sprinted with his ears perked up, and it was awesome to see," Rachal told the station.

YorkieYorkie GIFGiphy

It was bittersweet for LaFleur, who shared that her husband Joseph had passed away in 2022 and absolutely loved Kingston. "When my husband would have his plate of food, he had to give Kingston a plate of food with the exact same thing. When he went to McDonald's, he had to get Kingston nuggets," LaFleur told USA TODAY. "He slept on my husband every night and and he wouldn't come to me unless my husband was going to work, and then he was snuggle with me ... It was his best friend."

However, the emotional reunion was the surprise of a lifetime, and brought together total strangers for a sweet reason. And viewers commended the frat brothers for their kindness. "Pretty decent bunch of boys. Most would've said oh well we're just gonna keep him. They're we're good kids & did the right thing. Thank you guys,❤" one wrote. Another commented, "What a great bunch of young men! They took care of him and loved him, but did what was necessary to get him home to his family. I was so sad to hear her husband (and Kingston’s best pal) had passed away, but that has to just make it extra special for the lady that owns Kingston to have him back. Great story." And another viewer shared, "That dog had quite the adventure! It's wonderful to hear how happy the dog is to see his owner after so long and that there are great people out there with compassion."

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Fatherhood

Dad and daughter relationships perfectly  explained in 10 paintings

The bond between dads and daughters is amazing.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

It's hard to truly describe the amazing bond between dads and their daughters.

Being a dad is an amazing job no matter the gender of the tiny humans we're raising. But there's something unique about the bond between fathers and daughters. Most dads know what it's like to struggle with braiding hair, but we also know that bonding time provides immense value to our daughters. In fact, studies have shown that women with actively involved fathers are more confident and more successful in school and business.

You know how a picture is worth a thousand words? I'll just let these images sum up the daddy-daughter bond.

A 37-year-old Ukrainian artist affectionately known as Soosh, recently created some ridiculously heartwarming illustrations of the bond between a dad and his daughter, and put them on her Instagram feed. Sadly, her father wasn't involved in her life when she was a kid. But she wants to be sure her 9-year-old son doesn't follow in those footsteps.

"Part of the education for my kiddo who I want to grow up to be a good man is to understand what it's like to be one," Soosh told Upworthy.

There are so many different ways that fathers demonstrate their love for their little girls, and Soosh pretty much nails all of them.

Get ready to run the full gamut of the feels.

1. Dads can do it all. Including hair.

parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artworkA father does his daughter's hairAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

2. They also make pretty great game opponents.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, chessA father plays chess with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

3. And the Hula-Hoop skills? Legendary.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, hula hoopA dad hula hoops with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

4. Dads know there's always time for a tea party regardless of the mountain of work in front of them.



A dad talks to his daughter while working at his deskAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


5. And their puppeteer skills totally belong on Broadway.



A dad performs a puppet show for his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


6. Dads help us see the world from different views.



A dad walks with his daughter on his backAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


7. So much so that we never want them to leave.



a dad carries a suitcase that his daughter holds ontoAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


8. They can make us feel protected, valued, and loved.



A dad holds his sleeping daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


9. Especially when there are monsters hiding in places they shouldn't.



A superhero dad looks over his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


10. Seeing the daddy-daughter bond as art perfectly shows how beautiful fatherhood can be.



A dad takes the small corner of the bed with his dauthterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

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Community

Bodega manager hands kid $100 bill and free groceries after seeing his honors roll report card

"Investment in the community. No finer hero could be asked for."

GMA/Youtube

Wail Alselwi (@islandock1), the manager of Zack’s Finest Deli & Grocery in Port Richmond, Staten Island, created a new incentive for local students called Grades for Grabs

Acknowledging good grades can do so much to uplift kids' academic performance. And Staten Island bodega manager Wail Alselwi is making sure that the students in his local community are recognized for their scholastic efforts by offering them rewards for their hard work.

Alselwi (@islandock1), the manager of Zack’s Finest Deli & Grocery in Port Richmond, Staten Island, created a new incentive for local students called Grades for Grabs—described as "a movement dedicated to rewarding students for their hard work with snacks and cash prizes for good grades." He began sharing heartfelt videos on his TikTok account of local kids coming into his store to show him their high marks in school, which began to catch on.

In an interview with Good Morning America, Alselwi shared that one student began it all in 2024: 12-year-old Zameir Davis. "I started it with him and then I started doing it with other kids too," he said about Davis. "Some kids have bad grades. You just need to encourage them to do better so they don't give up. You give them hope, and that someone really cares, and that there is a prize after for [their] hard work."

@islandock1

Zack’s finest #islandock #foryoupage #fypシ #ocky #deli #fypシ゚viral

In Davis' now-viral video, he excitedly burst into Alselwi's shop to share the good news that he had finally made the honor roll. "I told you I'd get honor roll!" he said in the video, to which Alselwi replied, "No way! You did it?! He did it! You're the man, Zameir!" For his reward, Zameir chose multiple bags of Doritos, a cookies & cream milkshake, and a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich. "Keep going, ya heard! That's what I'm talking about," Alselwi says at the end of the video.

And TikTok viewers commended their sweet interaction. "He probably told you before his parents 🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰," one wrote. Another added, "The excitement he has to share his achievement 🥰. And another viewer shared, "definition of 'it takes a village'😭."

@islandock1

#Islandock #Zacksfinest #fypシ #foryoupag #ocky #deli #foodtiktok #gradesforgrabs #GFG #islandockmerch #nyc #statenisland #school #reportcards #fypシ゚viral

Staten Island Borough President Vito Fossella also recognized Alselwi with a Certificate of Appreciation for his selfless act with Zamier, sharing, "[Alselwi] had no obligation, he had no reason, he had no point to help this young man, but he chose to and that’s the beauty of this story.”

@islandock1

#Islandock #Zacksfinest #fypシ #foryoupag #ocky #deli #gradesforgrabs #GFG #islandockmerch #nyc #statenisland #school #reportcards #library

Students have continued to visit Alselwi to receive encouragement and share their good grade news to receive an even sweeter reward: $100 and the chance to grab anything in the store they want thanks to Alselwi's generosity and crowdfunding.

"Many kids lack encouragement, and sometimes, all it takes is a small incentive to boost their confidence and push them toward greatness," he shared on the movement's GoFundMe page. "Imagine a student working extra hard to improve their grades, knowing their effort will be recognized and celebrated. That’s the impact we’re making!" He also adds that the mission statement of Grades for Grabs is to be "a community-driven initiative that makes learning fun and rewarding. Together, we can create a generation that values hard work, determination, and success!"

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Pets

Cat forced to perform in animal show turns the tables on judge and wins people's hearts

"There goes first place."

Canva

White cat, blue ribbon, black cat

Meet Ludwig Van Beethoven. No, not that one. A black cat who, seemingly against his wishes, was entered into a cat contest in the "household pets" category a little over a year ago in Mesa, Arizona. He was not having it. As CNN's Jeanne Moos reports over a video of this "black cat smack down," the cat is shown getting prodded and poked by a judge wearing cat ears during the Cat Fanciers' Association show. "They get stroked, they get lifted, they get stretched. No wonder a two-year-old named Ludwig Van Beethoven lost his composure."

The video then shows Ludwig hissing, with a quick bite attempt. What happens next is truly uncanny. The judge jumps, giving Ludwig a bit of space. Ludwig then backs up, STANDS ON HIS BACK LEGS and full-on Will Smith-slaps her in the face.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Veteran judge Vicki Nye tells CNN, "That one was just terrified." We hear Judge Nye telling Ludwig he has a "beautiful coat, (is) shiny, nice green eyes." Moos continues, "And though Vicki gave him plenty of compliments, Beethoven turned on her."

Good news, they report: "The judge didn't even get scratched." Though she doesn't sound thrilled when she curtly (understandably) insists, "I need the owner now." And just before Ludwig's owner apologetically comes to the rescue, we get a shot of a white cat behind them looking shocked beyond belief. Moos exclaims, "Contestant 177 in the background was freaked! 'Did you actually attack a judge?'"

shocked cat GIFGiphy

When asked if the cat got a ribbon, Vicki answers, "No, that kitty was actually disqualified."

Well, the clip of this momentous occasion has recently begun making the rounds again. Posted on X just a few days ago, it already has over 10 million views and thousands of comments, almost all of whom take the cat's side. Many say she didn't pick up on Ludwig's very obvious cues to back off, and one thinks, "Probably offended by the cat ears."

Another X commenter gets right to it: "That cat said oh hell no b---h, let me get on the same level and climbed up to see eye to eye to lay the smack down." This person has notes: "You'd think a cat judge would be familiar with cat behavior. The cat warns her, then hisses. Judge stays close and keeps her hands up! A total combat move that says she will bat back. Tsk tsk."

Bored Cat GIFGiphy

Over on YouTube, one person writes, "This is the JUDGE being judged." Another shares a more serious sentiment about the cat ears: "The judge should have been disqualified, not the cat. She broke the number one rule of handling cats — she had on ears! Cats consider anything with ears a predator, even if it's the cat’s owner wearing them… I've lived with cats my whole long life & my cats freak out if I put on a headband with ears."

As for the poor sweet cat in the background, comedian Paula Poundstone once said it best: "The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer." In this case, I'd say the face was justified.


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