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Why winning a bronze medal might actually be better than getting silver

The psychology of silver is harder to handle.

three athletes wearing silver, gold and bronze medals
Photo credit: Marcus Cyron

Three young fencing medalists at the 2018 Summer Youth Olympics

World championship competitions like the Olympic Games determine the best of the best in every sport. As athletes from around the globe gather to compete, we see the cream of the crop rise to the top, but ultimately only one person or team in each event can claim the coveted gold medal and No. 1 title.

Whether you win a gold, silver or bronze medal, making it onto the podium is an enormous accomplishment; to be among the top three in the world at anything is incredible. But one of the top three medals is considerably less desirable than the other two, and surprisingly, it's not the third place one.

Objectively speaking, silver is better than bronze, but from a psychological perspective, it's not. Studies that examined the facial expressions of Olympic medal winners found that athletes who win silver are less happy than those who win bronze. A study of Paralympic medal winners also found that silver medists appeared angrier and sadder than gold medal winners and angrier and more disgusted than bronze medalists.

Why does winning silver so often seem like a disappointment? There are a few theories these studies point to. One is that silver medalists tend toward more "counterfactual thinking"—engaging in thoughts like "I could have gotten gold if I'd only done this or that differently." Silver medalists tend to look up at what they didn't achieve and feel like they lost, while bronze medalists tend to look down and be thankful that they're up on the podium at all.

Another theory is that silver and bronze medal winners often have different expectations coming into the competition. Silver medal winners may expect to get the gold, or at least feel it's within their reach, so silver feels like they didn't perform as well as they'd hoped. Bronze medalists, on the other hand, may go in just hoping to do well enough to medal, so getting any medal at all is an achievement unlocked.

Case in point for silver medal disappointment: Team USA's men's 4 x 100 medley relay in swimming at the Paris 2024 Olympics. The United States has won the gold medal in that event in every Olympics for the past 64 years, so expectations were extremely high. But China took the gold in a major upset, leaving the US with a silver medal win that felt more like a loss. The more favored you are to win, the harder it is to be happy coming in second place.

Silver medal disappointment can also come from how the medals are doled out in different sports. In a sport like gymnastics, scores are compared over the entire field of finalists and the top three scores win gold, silver and bronze. But in many sports, medals are determined by elimination rounds, which means individuals or teams compete in one-on-one matches until all that's left is a bronze medal match and a gold medal match. In those sports, you win your match to get the bronze but lose your match to get the silver. So winning a silver medal feels like a loss because in that final match-up, it literally is. For a bronze, though, it's literally a win.

However, the way silver and bronze medal winners interpret their medal also depends on how close their finishes were. A silver medal winner who came very close to winning gold tends to be less happy than one with a wider margin of loss. It may be ironic that the better a silver medalist does the worse they end up feeling about the outcome, but getting close to gold just intensifies that "I could have won" feeling. Essentially, not reaching your ultimate goal is harder swallow the closer you get to it.

Of course, some silver medalists are thrilled with their standing, and again, being a top three contender in any competition is a huge achievement. That's why mindset is so important. A winning mindset means giving it your all and doing your best; it doesn't have to include comparing yourself to others on the podium or being deflated by expectations of winning.

For instance, the expectations on Simone Biles are sky high, and for good reason, but she walked away from her last two individual events in Paris with a silver medal on floor and no medal at all on beam—yet she did so without feeling disappointed.

""I've accomplished way more than my wildest dreams, not just at this Olympics, but in this sport,” Biles told reporters. “So I can’t be mad at my performances. A couple of years ago I didn’t think I’d be back here at an Olympic game. So competing and then walking away with four medals, I’m not mad about it. I’m pretty proud of myself and it’s always so exciting to compete.”

Perhaps winning gold so many times has inoculated Biles to disappointment. On the other hand, being accustomed to winning could easily lead to more of the counterfactual thinking and high expectations that plague silver medalists, but that doesn't seem to have happened to Biles. In fact, she joyfully celebrated her competitor Rebeca Andrade's gold medal win right on the podium from her silver medal spot.

Perhaps her ability to do that comes from having a specific mindset about what constitutes winning.

"A successful competition for me is always going out there and putting 100 percent into whatever I'm doing," Biles said in 2016. "It's not always winning. People, I think, mistake that it's just winning. Sometimes it could be, but for me, it's hitting the best sets I can, gaining confidence, and having a good time and having fun."

Wise words that could save some silver medalists from torturing themselves too much, as if second-best in the world somehow isn't good enough.

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Parenting

Man asks how to help his wife who works full-time with a baby at home and keeps getting the same answer

More and more families are trying to scrape by — by trying to do it all

Photo by Katie Emslie on Unsplash

There are times in parenting where you just feel kind of useless.

You can't carry the baby, take a late-night breastfeeding shift, or absorb any of the pain and discomfort of childbirth.

Sometimes the best you can do is to try to take care of your partner.

That's what brought user u/DietyBeta to the AskParents subreddit with a well-meaning question.

"My wife watches our 1yo, works, and is 12 week pregnant. How can I make her daily life easier while I'm away at work?"

He says that when he gets home from work, he takes over all parenting and homemaking duties.

But yeesh! That's still... a lot to handle. No wonder his wife is stressed out.

A few folks chimed in to pat the OP on the back. After all, it's great to see a dad who realizes how much is falling on mom's shoulders and actively looking for ways to lighten the load!

Some helpful suggestions rolled in, like taking over meal prep and making her easy lunches to heat up, hiring cleaners, or paying someone to walk the dogs.

woman in black shirt lying on couch Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash


But then even more people came in to the comments asking the same question over and over: If mom is working, why isn't the 1-year-old in daycare?

u/young-mommy wrote: "Is the one year old in daycare? If not, I would start there. Working from home with a child gets harder and harder as they enter toddlerhood"

u/min2themax said: "It’s nice of you to be asking how to help her but she really is getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop here. It sounds like she is literally always working or parenting. Sometimes both at the same time. Walking the dogs and making her lunches and prepping meals and doing laundry is all well and good but this is not at all sustainable."

u/alternative-box3260 said: "Have the one year old in daycare. I was in a similar situation and it’s impossible. I was able to breath after that, not before."

And u/sillychihuahua26 wrote: "She’s caring for your 1.year old while working? That’s a horrible plan. You guys need childcare like yesterday."

We have a legitimate childcare crisis in our country, and stories like this one really bring it to life.

Childcare in the United States isn't nearly accessible or affordable enough for most families. Period.

ChildCare Aware found that that average cost of childcare in 2022 was $10,853 per year, or roughly 10% of a median family income (in 2024, it's likely even more than that — yet the actual workers at childcare centers are somehow severely underpaid).

But even that eye-popping number is conservative. Anyone who lives anywhere close to a city (or in California or New York) knows the number will be way higher. It's just not feasible for most families to put their child, let alone multiple children, in full-time care while they're young.

And yet! The percentage of households with two parents working full-time has been rising for decades. Life is more expensive than ever, and the extra income from two working parents really helps, even if it's offset by those child care costs.

More and more families are trying to scrape by — by trying to do it all

woman in white shirt sitting on brown wooden armchair Photo by Keren Fedida on Unsplash

Now we don't know whether the OP's family can afford childcare for their 1-year-old or not, although in a later update to the post he wrote:

"As far as daycare, she doesn't want to because she feels like she would be missing out on the time"

So even if you can afford childcare, there's the still the crushing guilt of shipping your child off to be raised by strangers to deal with! Classic.

(Take one guess who shoulders most of the daycare guilt — dads or moms?)

The work-from-home revolution has been a Godsend for parents in certain ways — flexibility, balance, less commuting time — but its also saddled many of them with double duty.

'Hey how about you work full-time because we need the money AND keep an eye on the kids, since you're home anyway!'

But it doesn't work like that, and trying to do both is crushing modern parents.

In fact, the Surgeon General of the United States just put out an official advisory based on the plummeting mental state of today's parents.

We know parents are having a hard time and that it's getting picked up in the national conversation. But hearing about a mom working full-time with a 1-year-old on her hip while pregnant, and a dad stuck working out of the house who's at a total loss for how to make things better really paints a pretty bleak picture.

No one should have to work full-time and parent full-time, at the same time.

A fridge full of microwavable lunches and a fleet of dog walkers isn't going to make it any better until things start changing from the very top.

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Pop Culture

People share the 18 things that are a 'subtle sign' someone is really smart

"They effortlessly communicate complex concepts in a simple way."

via PixaBay

Albert Einstein

One of the strangest things about being human is that people of lesser intelligence tend to overestimate how smart they are and people who are highly intelligent tend to underestimate how smart they are.

This is called the Dunning-Kruger effect and it’s proven every time you log onto Facebook and see someone from high school who thinks they know more about vaccines than a doctor.

The interesting thing is that even though people are poor judges of their own smarts, we’ve evolved to be pretty good at judging the intelligence of others.

“Such findings imply that, in order to be adaptive, first impressions of personality or social characteristics should be accurate,” a study published in the journal Intelligence says. “There is accumulating evidence that this is indeed the case—at least to some extent—for traits such as intelligence extraversion, conscientiousness, openness, and narcissism, and even for characteristics such as sexual orientation, political ideology, or antigay prejudice.”

Reddit user Gisgiii posed a question to the AskReddit subforum “What is a subtle sign that someone is really intelligent?” and the answers painted a clear picture of how smart people behave. They tend to be great communicators who understand their audience and are more concerned with getting things right than being right.

Here are 18 of the best answers.

1. They draw wisdom from multiple sources.

"They draw wisdom from multiple sources. Wait but that might be more wise than intelligent... But I guess those two tend to be seen together a lot," — Puzzlehead-Engineer

2. They know their audience.

"They can switch up the way they talk to match the person they're talking to without sounding condescending. They listen to how others learn and explain it in that person's language of understanding," — Wynonna99

3. They develop a keen sense for their job.

"I used to work with a doctor - Tom Howard - and the day I realized he was a genius was the time he guessed every single condition a patient of mine had based on minute pieces of information about him," — Yodei_Mon

4. Curiosity.

"They are curious about everything. To be intelligent you need to be knowledgeable and you can't be knowledgeable if you are never curious," — soup54461

5. They're great at conveying ideas.

"When they explain something they make you feel intelligent," — gwoshmi

6. Considerate questions.

"They spend time thinking before asking a question," — ParkMan73

7. They make hard ideas simple.

"They effortlessly communicate complex concepts in a simple way," — joculator

8. They know what they don't know.

"They know when their knowledge ends and say something to the extent of 'i don't know and anything else i say on this topic is ignorant speculation,'" — blutoboy

9. They ask great questions.

"They can ask really good questions."

"Edit: to anyone not understanding what mean, I’m talking about people who ask “really good questions”, not just any questions, really good ones. I don’t know how one would achieve this skill(I know I haven’t)," — milkmanbran

10. They don't pretend to know everything.

"They aren’t afraid to say they don’t know the answer to a question," — xchernx

11. They change their minds with new information.

"They admit to changing their mind about something," — FarAwayAdventure

12. They pivot well.

"They apply knowledge from one realm into a new and relevant situation," — soubestitch

13. They are open-minded.

"They can genuinely consider an idea which opposes their worldview without necessarily accepting it," — paidshill29

14. They use analogies.

"People who use analogies to explain concepts to others. It’s a form of code-switching and integrating concepts on the fly and is a clear indicator someone is both socially and conceptually intelligent," — SwimmerAutomatic2488

15. They don't argue.

"I think intelligent people are more willing to calmly debate/discuss, rather than argue. Like, you explain to them why you disagree, and they listen to you and ask further questions about your viewpoint before offering a different perspective; as opposed to an unintelligent person, who would just resort to insults when other people disagree with them," — AngelicCinnamonBun

16. They learn from mistakes.

"Admitting when they're wrong and being willing to learn from mistakes," — siyl1979

17. A sense of humor.

"Humor. I think that truly funny people are often very smart and cognizant of the different ways an idea can be humorous on several levels. They also know their audience. I think the difference between say a Jeff Foxworthy and a Dave Chappelle and a Bo Burnham is their audience and their interests," — biscuitboi967

18. A love of learning.

"They say they love learning and they learn something new every day. Then they listen more than talk," — throwingplaydough


This article originally appeared on 12.04.21

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Joy

Man attempts to rescue stray kitten and quickly discovers he got more than he bargained for

Here kitty, kitty! Oh wait, there are 12 more of you?

Photo by Dorothea OLDANI on Unsplash

It's kitten season!

Who can resist a sweet little kitten trying to cross the road? Even if you’re not a fan of cats, you’d likely stop for a baby animal in the street. That’s what happened to Robert Brantley of Louisiana. Brantley was on his way to work and spotted a tiny white and gray kitten trying to get across the street. Being a kind human, he stopped his car to bring the kitten to safety. But he got more than he bargained for, because as he was scooping up the little thing, several more kitty cat siblings came running out of the nearby grass.

In all, Brantley counted 13 kittens. Twelve more than he planned on caring for, but by the looks of his Instagram page, his family has taken their role of cat rescuers seriously. With kitten season being in full effect in these warmer months and pet surrenders remaining high since the return to work from the pandemic, Brantley taking on fostering 13 kittens is much needed. Humane societies across the country are reportedly full or even over capacity. My own local humane society currently has nearly 150 animals over its limit and is begging for foster families and adopters to help clear the shelter.

It’s not only humane societies that have reached or exceeded capacity. Animal rescues across the board are in dire need of people to take animals to make room for the inevitable drop off of puppies and kittens from the current litter season. Mating season, which subsequently turns into puppy and kitten season, starts in early spring and lasts throughout the summer. This inundates local shelters and rescues.

Some shelters, like my local humane society, are asking people who find litters of puppies or kittens to do exactly what Brantley is doing.

Foster them and attempt to adopt them out on their own. It looks like Brantley's wife decided to get these now cleaned up kitties in their Sunday best to have a photoshoot in her makeshift studio. One kitten sported a bow tie while the others climbed around the enclosure patiently awaiting their turn. It also seems Brantley himself is having fun with the situation—in one video he talks about what he packs to go on a marksmanship match and includes 13 kittens along with his tripod and toolkit.

In one of Brantley’s most recent updates, he says that two of the kittens, Michael Scott and Nala, have been adopted by a family in Alexandria, Louisiana. In the same update he informs his followers that one of the kittens still left to be adopted is currently on daily medication and the family is keeping up with check-ups for the rest of the furry crew.

Here’s hoping that all of these little guys get adopted out soon. And may more people take Brantley’s lead to foster the kittens or puppies they find if they have the means. This can also serve as a reminder to spay and neuter your pets and any strays you may be caring for outside of your home.


This article originally appeared on 6.16.22

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Family

'Act like you're my mom': 10-year-old cleverly escapes a woman who was following him home

Security cameras caught it all on video.

via Doug Kerr/Flickr

Pennsylvania's State Route 100.

A quick-thinking 10-year-old boy escaped a woman trying to lure him by pretending that a local store clerk was his mother. ABC 6 reports that Sammy Green was walking home from school in Pottstown, Pennsylvania, on Friday, November 11, when a strange woman started following him.

The woman "started walking with him and asking him where his family was, asking where his dad was," Sam Green, the boy's father, told ABC6. The boy didn’t know the woman but she insisted that she knew his family.

She tried to lure him into going with her by promising she’d buy him “anything he wanted” at Wawa, a local convenience store that sells shakes, sandwiches and other treats.

"She was like, 'I'm going to Wawa, are you going there? What are you getting from Wawa? Where's your family at?'" Sammy told CBS.

"She said she probably knew me and was going to Wawa and that he was supposed to go with her and he could get anything he wanted," Sam Green said.

In an attempt to flee the suspicious woman, Sammy walked into Dani Bee Funky, an unconventional gift shop, where he went straight to 17-year-old Hannah who was working the register. "He was like, 'Pretend like you're my mom,'" Hannah told CBS, "and I was just like, 'all right go to the back.' He didn't want to leave my side."

Security footage shows that Hannah then calmly walked up to the store’s front door and locked it, preventing the woman from coming inside. After she was locked out, the woman walked away. "I was still shaking when I was in here," Sammy said.

The security camera footage is hard for Sammy's dad to watch. "When we were watching that video, I cried every time I saw it," said Green.

The shop’s owner has nothing but praise for Hannah’s calm way of handling the dangerous situation. "I am very proud of her. Hannah is a 17-year-old young lady. She did everything correctly," Small said.

This story is a great reminder for parents to talk to their kids about what to do if they are approached by a suspicious person. The first thing they should know is that it’s OK to say “No!” as loudly as possible to a suspicious person. They should then scream, “Help! This is not my mom or my dad!” to alert the adults around them and then run. If they are grabbed by the person they should bite, punch and kick as hard as they can until they can get free.

Sammy’s dad is proud that his son remembered what he told him to do when confronted by a suspicious stranger. "Think of every scenario and make sure that children know and also practice it," he reminded parents. "Practice your situations and scenarios just like fire drills."

For the time being, Sammy is going to have a family friend walk him to and from school. The Pottstown Police have spoken with the woman and she is now getting help for mental health issues.


This article originally appeared on 11.17.22

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Identity

75-year-old ‘hip-hop granny’ impresses and inspires with her dance moves

Ms. Stephanie didn’t even start formal dance lessons until she was almost 30.

@fiercefitnessty/TikTok

Ms. Stephanie bringing it at her hip-hop class.



Stephanie Walsh isn't your average hip-hop dancer. At 75, "Ms. Stephanie" is still able to hold her own on the dance floor, popping and locking with people a third her age, and she loves it.

When you see her dance—and her enviable muscle tone—you might think she'd been a trained dancer all her life. But she actually didn't take any formal dance lessons until she was almost 30.

Walsh told Growing Bolder that she had wanted her daughter to dance when she was little, so she got her ballet lessons, which the daughter hated. Realizing that dancing was her dream and not her daughter's, Walsh took her kiddo out of ballet and started classes herself right away.

She had always loved to dance and developing her skills only led to more and more dancing.

These days, Ms. Stephanie gets her dance moves on at Fusion Fitness, where she encourages people to "dance like EVERYONE is watching." One video of her dancing at Fusion has gone viral multiple times, and it's easy to see why. Check this out:

@fiercefitnessty

Reposting this video of Ms.Stephanie & I since it going viral again. This video will always be a vibe. One thing Ms.Stephanie and I created was magic. We dance from our hearts. My classes are always about creating a Fierce vibe for everyone to show up and show out! . #fiercefitness #dancefit #fiercefitnessty #hiphopfitness #fyp #viral

"Reposting this video of Ms.Stephanie & I since it going viral again," shared @fiercefitnessty on TikTok. "This video will always be a vibe. One thing Ms.Stephanie and I created was magic. We dance from our hearts. My classes are always about creating a Fierce vibe for everyone to show up and show out!"

It's not just the dancing. It's the intensity. It's the full presence in the moment in her face and in her movements. She's there for it, and she brings everybody with her.

"It’s the “I’m a badass” facial expression for me! ☺️" wrote one commenter on Facebook.

"I dislocated my shoulder just watching that 🤣🤣👌🏼" shared another.

"She can throw it back like the rest of them. You go girl!" shared another.

Walsh shared that dancing has helped her get through many difficult periods in her life. Watch her share her story:


Love it when people prove that age truly is just a number.

The studio set up a fan page for Ms. Stephanie on Instagram, where you can see more of her joyful dancing here.


This article originally appeared on 10.20.23

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