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Why time seems to accelerate as we get older and what we can do to slow it down

How time works is totally trippy, but there are some "tricks" to change how our brains process it.

hourglass and clocks with screenshot of post saying 1980 and 2023 are as far apart as 1937 and 1980

Jordan Benton/Canva

Time is weird.

You're going along, minding your own business on the internet, when suddenly this little gem comes across your timeline:

1980 to 2023 = 1937 to 1980. How can that math be right? Kevin Smith/GenX Only Facebook Group

Your first reaction is, "Nuh-uh, no way," so you pull out the calculator to do the math yourself—several times because you're sure you must've missed a number somewhere. You remember how long ago 1937 seemed in 1980, and there's no possible way that much time has passed between 1980 and now. Then, as the warped reality of time washes over you, you sit and stare in stunned silence, contemplating the existential crisis.

Why does time work this way? Why does it seem to get faster and faster and condense to make decades seem shorter and shorter as we age? And perhaps more importantly, how the heck do we stop time from feeling like a runaway freight train?

Here are a few theories about what creates the freight train phenomenon.

Time perception is relative—and kids perceive it differently

"Time flies when you're having fun" is a saying for a reason. Time also drags when you're doing drudgery work and feels like it stands still in moments of significance. And yet the ticking of seconds as they go by doesn't change tempo. We measure it with steady, unchanging beats, but how it feels changes constantly.

This relativity exists in every passing moment, but it also exists in the bigger picture as well. The years felt like they passed by much more slowly when we were children, and by middle age, they feel like they pass in the blink of an eye. The pandemic gave us an even greater sense of this relativity as disruptions to our normal routines and the stress associated with the COVID-19 years messed with our sense of time. (On an odd side note, surveys show that our time perception during the pandemic varied a lot from place to place—people in some parts of the world felt that time moved more slowly, while others felt time moved more quickly.)

According to a 2023 Hungarian study published in Nature Scientific Reports, very young children perceive time differently than older children and adults. Researchers split 138 people into three age groups—pre-kindergarten, school-age and adults 18 and over—and showed them two videos of the same duration, one that was "eventful" and one that was "uneventful." Interestingly, the pre-K group perceived the eventful video to be longer, while the older children and adults saw the uneventful video as longer.

The way the study participants described the length of the videos in gestures was also telling. Young children were much more likely to use vertical hand gestures, connoting volume or magnitude, to indicate a length of time than the other two age groups. School-aged kids and adults tended to use horizontal gestures, indicating time as linear, increasing with age.

Our neural processing slows down as we age

Professor Adrian Bejan has a theory based on how neurons process signals. As we age, our neural networks increase in size and complexity, and as a result, process visual information at a slower rate. That slower processing means we create fewer mental images each second than we did when we were younger, thereby making time seem to slow down.

“People are often amazed at how much they remember from days that seemed to last forever in their youth, Bejan shared with Harvard University. "It’s not that their experiences were much deeper or more meaningful; it’s just that they were being processed in rapid fire.”

In other words, processing the same number of mental images we did in our youth takes longer now, somewhat counterintuitively making time seem to pass more quickly. So goes the theory, anyway.

It might simply be about time-to-life ratios

Another popular theory about why time feels different as a child than it does as an adult is the ratio of any given day, week or year to the amount of time we've been alive. To a 5-year-old, a year is 20% of their entire life. For a 50-year-old, a year only is 0.2% of their life, so it feels like it went by much more quickly.

It's also a matter of how much change has happened in that year. A year in the life of a 5-year-old is full of rapid growth and change and learning and development. A year in the life of a 50-year-old probably isn't a whole lot different than when they were 48 or 49. Even if there are major life changes, the middle-aged brain isn't evolving at nearly the same rate as a child. A 50-year-old looking back at the past year will have a lot fewer changes to process than a 5-year-old, therefore the year will seems like it went by a lot faster.

“Our perception of days, weeks, years and that kind of time seems to be especially influenced by our perspective: Are we in the moment experiencing it, or are we looking backward on time?” psychology professor Cindy Lustig told the University of Michigan.

The key to slowing it all down? Be mindful of the present moment.

Lustig has a point. When we are in the moment, our perception of time is much different than when we look back. So, being fully conscious in the present moment can help us rein in the freight train effect.

One way to do that is to be mindful of your physical existence in this moment. Feel your heart beating. Feel your breath going in and out. Cornell University psychology professor Adam Anderson, Ph.D., conducted a study that found our perception of time may be linked with the length of our heartbeats. (Study participants were fitted with electrocardiograms and asked to listen to a brief audio tone. They perceived the tone as longer after a longer heartbeat and shorter after a shorter one.) He suggests starting a stopwatch, closing your eyes and focusing on your breathing for what you think feels like a minute. Then, check your time to see how accurate your estimation was.

“This can give you a sense of how much your experience of your body is related to your experience of time,” Anderson told WebMD. “It will help teach you to enjoy the pure experience of time.”

You can also use focused breathing to purposely slow down your heart rate, and thus slow down your time perception. “We show that slow heart rates—that is, a longer duration between heartbeats—dilates time, slowing it down," Anderson said.

Finally, try to take in the world the way you did as a small child. Take note of life's wonders. Engage fully in whatever you're doing. Notice details and take mental pictures as much as you can. Time goes by fast when we're distracted, so training our attention on the here and now can help. Ultimately, we can strive to perceive time more like we did when we were little, in its full depth and magnitude instead of a narrow, straight line.

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Community

Mom breaks down in tears after receiving call from another parent about her daughter's lunch

"Well now we're all crying."

Photo by Katerina Holmes|Canva

Mom in tears after another parent calls about daughter's lunch

People say having children is like having your heart walk around outside of your body. You send them off to school, practices or playdates and hope that the world treats them kindly because when they hurt, you hurt. Inevitably there will be times when your child's feelings are hurt so you do your best to prepare for that day.

But what prepares you for when the child you love so much winds up accidentally healing your inner child. A mom on TikTok, who goes by Soogia posted a video explaining a phone call she received from a parent in her daughter's classroom. The mom called to inform Soogia that their kids had been sharing lunch with each other.

Soogia wasn't prepared for what came next. The classmate's mother informed her that her son loves the food Soogia's daughter brings to school and wanted to learn how to cook it too.

That may seem like a small thing to some, but the small gesture healed a little bit of Soogia's inner child. Growing up as a Korean kid in California, Soogia's experience was a bit different than what her children are now experiencing.

"I guess I just never thought that my kids would be the generation of kids that could go to school and not only just proudly eat, but share their food with other kids that were just so open and accepting to it," Soogia says through tears. "Knowing that they don't sit there eating their food, feeling ashamed and wishing that their fried rice was a bagel instead or something like that. And I know, it sounds so small and it sounds so stupid, but knowing their experience at school is so different from mine in such a positive way is just so hopeful."

Soogia's tearful video pulled on the heartstrings of her viewers who shared their thoughts in the comments.

"Soogia! It will never be small. Your culture is beautiful & the littles are seeing that every day. You've even taught me so much. I'm grateful for you," one person says.

"Beautiful! I can see your inner child healing in so many ways," another writes.

"Welp. Now I'm sobbing at the airport. This is beautiful," someone reveals.

"These Gen Alpha babies really are a different, kinder generation. I love them so much," one commenter gushes.

You can hear the entire story below. You may want to grab a tissue.

@soogia1
These kids, man. They’re really something else. #culturalappreciation #breakingbread #sharing #

This article originally appeared on 3.23.24

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Pop Culture

The Bee Gees a capella version of 'How Deep is Your Love' might be even better than the original

Only family can harmonize this well.

via Edu Seijas/YouTube

The Bee Gees singing "How Deep is Your Love" in 1998.

In 1998, the Bee Gees, brothers Barry, Robin and Maurice Gibb, stopped by ITV’s “Des O'Connor Tonight” with acoustic guitars in hand to promote their recent release, “One Night Only,” an album and live concert DVD featuring many of the band’s biggest hits.

The highlight of the performance was when Barry got ready to strum his guitar for a performance of “How Deep is Your Love,” the 1977 megahit from the “Saturday Night Fever Soundtrack,” but instead chose to sing the song a capella .

Barry starts the song solo in his beautiful falsetto, but then, when his brothers join him, they create a wonderful harmony that only brothers can make. The show’s host, Des O’Conner, a notable singer himself, even joins in for a few bars.

- YouTubeyoutu.be

Earlier in the performance, the brothers played their version of “Islands in the Stream,” a song made famous by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rodgers in 1983 that was written by the Bee Gees. In 1998, the song was enjoying a resurgence as its melody was used in the song “Ghetto Superstar” by Pras of The Fugees.

Robin Gibb later admitted that the song was initially written for Marvin Gaye to sing, but he was tragically murdered in 1984 by his father. The band also had Diana Ross in mind while composing the tune.

During the appearance, the band also sang “Guilty,” a song that the Bee Gees wrote for Barbara Streisand and Barry produced in 1980.

You can watch the entire performance in the video below.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

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Family

To celebrate Middle Child Day, here are 7 traits that make them so special

You may be overlooked, but you're still fantastic

via Wikimedia Commons/ABC Television and Wikimedia Commons/ABC Television

Eve Plumb and Christopher Knight from "The Brady Bunch"

August 12 is National Middle Child Day in America, dedicated to recognizing the sibling in the middle. It’s a special day to highlight the kids who often get lost in the familial mix while the youngest hogs all the attention and the eldest has all the responsibilities.

Elizabeth Walker started the day in the 1980s because she thought middle children were “left out.”

When people discuss the plight of these kids, they often bring up Middle Child Syndrome, which some say leads kids caught in the middle to feel rebellious or have a chip on their shoulder. However, at Upworthy, we like looking at the bright side of things, so we’ve made a list of the 7 traits that make middle children amazing.

1. They’re good kids

Research shows that historically, middle children have been the most behaved out of the bunch. One study in 1964 and another in 2009 found that middle children were the least likely to act out.

2. They’re wonderful team players

Middle children are the way to go if you’re building a team, whether on the field or in the office. “They become more independent, think outside the box, feel less pressure to conform, and are more empathetic,” Katrin Schumann, author of "The Secret Power of Middle Children," told Psychology Today. “This gives them great skills as employees and also makes them excellent team players and partners.”

3. They are successful

Schumann also says middle children are more successful than their older and younger siblings. She notes that at least 52% of US presidents were middle children, as were Warren Buffet, Mark Zuckerberg, Jennifer Lopez, Princess Diana and Michael Jordan.

"When they realize how many the useful skills they've developed as a result of being in the middle, they are empowered in ways that positively influence their lives," Schumann said, according to Business Insider. The expert claims that middle children are successful because they had to vie for attention and aren't used to giving up on what they want.”

4. They are great negotiators

Middle children must develop excellent negotiating skills because they are at a power disadvantage in the home. "When middleborns are growing up, they don't get their way because they're the biggest and they don't get their way because they're the baby who was indulged,” Catherine Salmon, PhD. told CBS News.

5. They’re humble

Middle children have to learn humility the hard way because their birth order makes them the least important in the bunch. But even though it’s a harsh lesson, the benefits are great. “Humility can produce more happiness, positive emotions, and well-being because a person has a clearer understanding of the self,” Tiara BLain writes in a PsyD-reviewed article for Verywell Mind. “They are able to be comfortable with who they are and who they are not.”

6. They are creative

Middle children may also be more creative because they are “trying to be different from their elder and younger sibling,” Michele Borba, Ed.D., writes. Given that the eldest and youngest naturally stand out, the middle child may have to work a bit harder to receive attention for their creativity, so they push themselves further.

7. They’re likeable

Suzanne Degges-White, PhD, says middle children may be more “agreeable” and easygoing” than their siblings. “They are more extroverted, as well,” she writes. “They don’t have to lead the pack, and they don’t get the “babying” their younger siblings do. This allows them a bit more freedom to be themselves.”

Ultimately, we’re all individuals, so not all middle children will develop these qualities. But it’s nice to take a second and heap some praise on the kids who may have felt a little neglected during childhood by letting them know that they are special, too.

Just not as special as Marsha. “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!”

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Joy

17 heartwarming, funny and creative compliments that changed people's lives forever

"I wish you were my dad."

via Katie Treadway/Unsplash

A woman is complimented on her laugh.

Being the recipient of a great compliment can be really uplifting, especially if it is unexpected and makes you feel great about something you’re insecure about. Whether it’s our looks, personality, or how we handle our jobs, there’s always something we don’t feel right about and when someone gives an honest compliment, it can make you feel like a million bucks.

The great Mark Twain once said: “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”

Some compliments, when given by the right person at the right time, can be so powerful that they change the way we see ourselves. A Redditor named Curious-Repair-2606 asked people to share a “compliment you’ll never forget,” and nearly 2,000 people recounted the positive remarks they'll always remember.

The thread is a beautiful reminder to all of us to stop holding back on compliments and give them as freely as possible—that is, of course, if they are genuine.

Here are 17 of the best compliments that people will never forget.

1. "I wish you were my dad"

"Son's girlfriend: 'I wish you were my dad.' Could have cried."

2. "You're cute"

"A drunk girl at a concert told me I was cute. Still holding onto that one 5 years later."

3. A different type of guy

"She told me I was a 'man written by a woman.' Still not sure if it was a blessing or a curse I didn't pick up on the hint."

"As a lady, that usually means you’re doing a lot of things right. You’re a woman’s ideal."

"Definitely sounds like a blessing. Women often write fiction with emotionally competent, kind, passionate, hardworking men as the lead, so I'd say she was complimenting you."

4. "You're so beautiful"

"My fiancée Kayla, a few weeks before I lost her in a car accident, was watching me while I was doing something around our small apartment. She just kept smiling at me, and I asked her, 'Whatca smiling at baby?' She said so sweetly. 'You! You’re so beautiful.' I melted. As a man. I’ve never had such a wonderful compliment. My face turned bright red. She always made me smile."

5. The best dad

"My old boss and best friend were having lunch with a client and the subject of kids because the client was expecting. My boss said 'If you want to know how to be a good parent look at him (me) he's the best father I've ever known.'"

"That's a great compliment."

6. You're calm

"A friend called me calm and collected while I was dealing with social anxiety. They didn't know it, ofc m, but it made me question how I perceive myself compared to how others see me and helped me regain my self-confidence."

7. A princess

"When I was leaving my house for senior prom, a little girl walked by with her dad and said, 'Look, Daddy, a princess!' And i cried all my makeup off."

8. A great conversationalist

"14 years ago, a man sitting next to me on an airplane told me that I was the best conversationalist he'd ever met. He pointed to his headphones and said that he never talks to anyone on flights, but talked to me the whole time because I was so interesting to talk to. He gave me his business card and said he'd give me a sales job right now. It was SUCH a powerful complement that it changed the trajectory of my life and made me a much more confident person. Thanks, Monty, wherever you are now."

9. Radio voice

“'You have a great voice for radio.' Oddly enough I’ve gotten that same compliment a few times. Random for sure but was nice to hear."

"Same. I sometimes respond with 'Thanks. My wife also tells me that I have the face for radio too.'"

10. Great laugh

"Someone once told me my laugh could light up a room and it stuck with me."

11. Word to your mother

"I was 20 years old and working the ticket counter at the Amtrak station and I was chatting with a customer from Germany who was traveling solo around the US. It seemed like a friendly and standard conversation. I helped her with a smile, and she thanked me and walked away. Twenty minutes later she came back to my counter and handed me a small box of chocolate-covered blueberries and said, 'Please tell your mother she did a wonderful job raising you' and headed off to her gate. She didn't know that I had lost my mother to a drug overdose a couple months prior and was absolutely devastated on the inside. That single compliment and interaction has stuck with me for 22 years and I still think about that moment when I'm in a dark place. Wherever you are, friendly German tourist, thank you for giving me the strength to get through all those years ago."

12. Good-looking couple

"My ex and I were at Waffle House, and the waitress said, 'Wow, you two look like a couple out of a soap opera.' She sounded like that was a good thing."

13. A lively compliment

"My best friend got married a few months ago. I traveled to her city and stayed at her house for a week or so to help out and support her. Her sister has a 9-year-old son, and we spent some time together. It was my first time meeting them. After I got home from the wedding, my friend told me that the little boy had said, 'She breathed life into the place.' I just can’t forget what he said.

14. Good vibes

"Someone told me they liked my vibe. I’ll never forget that because it was about my personality and not my looks or style or something in that realm."

15. Great veins

"A nurse once said I’d make a great heroin addict because my veins are very visible."

16. Any hair will do

"My ex’s mom said 'I’ve seen you with long hair, a short bob, a long bob, and now a pixie, and you look absolutely beautiful with any hairstyle you choose.' I will never forget this compliment. I hated my ex, but her mom was such a sweetheart."

17. Never letting go

"That it took me 41 years to find you and I’m never letting go of you. That’s what my partner said to me the day we decided that we were more than friends and since then, our lives are just full of love and mutual respect."

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Family

15 tweets that only married people will understand

Even the perfect marriage (if that exists) would have its everyday frustrations.

Photo from Twitter.

A typical... frustrating day.

Being married is like being half of a two-headed monster. It's impossible to avoid regular disagreements when you're bound to another person for the rest of your life.

Even the perfect marriage (if there was such a thing) would have its daily frustrations. Funnily enough, most fights aren't caused by big decisions but the simple, day-to-day questions, such as "What do you want for dinner?"; "Are we free Friday night?"; and "What movie do you want to see?”

Here are some hilarious tweets that just about every married couple will understand.