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Health

Why time seems to accelerate as we get older and what we can do to slow it down

How time works is totally trippy, but there are some "tricks" to change how our brains process it.

hourglass and clocks with screenshot of post saying 1980 and 2023 are as far apart as 1937 and 1980
Jordan Benton/Canva

Time is weird.

You're going along, minding your own business on the internet, when suddenly this little gem comes across your timeline:

screenshot that reads "1980 and 2023 are as far apart as 1937 and 1980 were. Sleep tight, odl fogies"1980 to 2023 = 1937 to 1980. How can that math be right? Kevin Smith/GenX Only Facebook Group

Your first reaction is, "Nuh-uh, no way," so you pull out the calculator to do the math yourself—several times because you're sure you must've missed a number somewhere. You remember how long ago 1937 seemed in 1980, and there's no possible way that much time has passed between 1980 and now. Then, as the warped reality of time washes over you, you sit and stare in stunned silence, contemplating the existential crisis.

Why does time work this way? Why does it seem to get faster and faster and condense to make decades seem shorter and shorter as we age? And perhaps more importantly, how the heck do we stop time from feeling like a runaway freight train?

Here are a few theories about what creates the freight train phenomenon.

Time perception is relative—and kids perceive it differently

"Time flies when you're having fun" is a saying for a reason. Time also drags when you're doing drudgery work and feels like it stands still in moments of significance. And yet the ticking of seconds as they go by doesn't change tempo. We measure it with steady, unchanging beats, but how it feels changes constantly.

This relativity exists in every passing moment, but it also exists in the bigger picture as well. The years felt like they passed by much more slowly when we were children, and by middle age, they feel like they pass in the blink of an eye. The pandemic gave us an even greater sense of this relativity as disruptions to our normal routines and the stress associated with the COVID-19 years messed with our sense of time. (On an odd side note, surveys show that our time perception during the pandemic varied a lot from place to place—people in some parts of the world felt that time moved more slowly, while others felt time moved more quickly.)

According to a 2023 Hungarian study published in Nature Scientific Reports, very young children perceive time differently than older children and adults. Researchers split 138 people into three age groups—pre-kindergarten, school-age and adults 18 and over—and showed them two videos of the same duration, one that was "eventful" and one that was "uneventful." Interestingly, the pre-K group perceived the eventful video to be longer, while the older children and adults saw the uneventful video as longer.

The way the study participants described the length of the videos in gestures was also telling. Young children were much more likely to use vertical hand gestures, connoting volume or magnitude, to indicate a length of time than the other two age groups. School-aged kids and adults tended to use horizontal gestures, indicating time as linear, increasing with age.

Our neural processing slows down as we age

Professor Adrian Bejan has a theory based on how neurons process signals. As we age, our neural networks increase in size and complexity, and as a result, process visual information at a slower rate. That slower processing means we create fewer mental images each second than we did when we were younger, thereby making time seem to slow down.

“People are often amazed at how much they remember from days that seemed to last forever in their youth, Bejan shared with Harvard University. "It’s not that their experiences were much deeper or more meaningful; it’s just that they were being processed in rapid fire.”

In other words, processing the same number of mental images we did in our youth takes longer now, somewhat counterintuitively making time seem to pass more quickly. So goes the theory, anyway.

It might simply be about time-to-life ratios

Another popular theory about why time feels different as a child than it does as an adult is the ratio of any given day, week or year to the amount of time we've been alive. To a 5-year-old, a year is 20% of their entire life. For a 50-year-old, a year only is 0.2% of their life, so it feels like it went by much more quickly.

It's also a matter of how much change has happened in that year. A year in the life of a 5-year-old is full of rapid growth and change and learning and development. A year in the life of a 50-year-old probably isn't a whole lot different than when they were 48 or 49. Even if there are major life changes, the middle-aged brain isn't evolving at nearly the same rate as a child. A 50-year-old looking back at the past year will have a lot fewer changes to process than a 5-year-old, therefore the year will seems like it went by a lot faster.

“Our perception of days, weeks, years and that kind of time seems to be especially influenced by our perspective: Are we in the moment experiencing it, or are we looking backward on time?” psychology professor Cindy Lustig told the University of Michigan.

The key to slowing it all down? Be mindful of the present moment.

Lustig has a point. When we are in the moment, our perception of time is much different than when we look back. So, being fully conscious in the present moment can help us rein in the freight train effect.

One way to do that is to be mindful of your physical existence in this moment. Feel your heart beating. Feel your breath going in and out. Cornell University psychology professor Adam Anderson, Ph.D., conducted a study that found our perception of time may be linked with the length of our heartbeats. (Study participants were fitted with electrocardiograms and asked to listen to a brief audio tone. They perceived the tone as longer after a longer heartbeat and shorter after a shorter one.) He suggests starting a stopwatch, closing your eyes and focusing on your breathing for what you think feels like a minute. Then, check your time to see how accurate your estimation was.

“This can give you a sense of how much your experience of your body is related to your experience of time,” Anderson told WebMD. “It will help teach you to enjoy the pure experience of time.”

You can also use focused breathing to purposely slow down your heart rate, and thus slow down your time perception. “We show that slow heart rates—that is, a longer duration between heartbeats—dilates time, slowing it down," Anderson said.

Finally, try to take in the world the way you did as a small child. Take note of life's wonders. Engage fully in whatever you're doing. Notice details and take mental pictures as much as you can. Time goes by fast when we're distracted, so training our attention on the here and now can help. Ultimately, we can strive to perceive time more like we did when we were little, in its full depth and magnitude instead of a narrow, straight line.


This article originally appeared last year.

True

Vimbai Kapurura is the Executive Director of Women Unlimited, a grassroots women’s rights organization working to promote the rights and leadership of women, girls, and marginalized groups in Eswatini and southern Africa. With support from the Rapid Response Window of the United Nations Women’s Peace and Humanitarian Fund (WPHF), she’s advocating to have more female voices in national peace building spaces to ensure women’s rights and demands are included.

“Women are peacebuilders. We are peacemakers. We have a critical role to play in crisis situations and we are very much better placed to play a peacebuilding role in any country.”

In the face of the growing political turmoil in Eswatini, where calls for the establishment of a national dialogue remain seemingly unanswered, Vimbai and her organization are stepping up, raising their voice and bringing forward innovative solutions to promote peace and stability across the country. WPHF is supporting them to amplify women’s voices and mainstream gender perspectives into relevant decision-making mechanisms.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

“We are the cradle of life. We are changemakers, movers, shakers of any area of development. We want to be engaged and involved in any area of the value chain, the complete value chain. We want to be there.”

As part of its project with WPHF, Women Unlimited – with technical support from Cordaid, one of the INGO partners of the RRW – has trained several local women-led civil society organizations in conflict resolution, conflict prevention and mediation processes, as well as carried out educational and awareness raising campaigns on the value of women’s participation in peace processes, targeting both women and men across the country.

“WPHF has really helped us a lot. Not only has the funding allowed us to engage more women in peacebuilding processes, but it’s also supported us to underscore the need for female leadership in these spaces, where we’re often left aside.”

In Eswatini, where women and girls face deep-rooted patriarchy from a very young age, undermining their confidence, autonomy and leadership, Vimbai has become an outspoken advocate for women’s equal representation in decision-making roles at all levels, from community-level and regional committees to national and global peace building spaces.

“If you gather many women toward on common goal, you are guaranteed that that goal is going to be achieved. Let us come together and be the change we want to see. No one will do it for us. But together, we can.”

A tireless leader and activist who’s influenced the lives of many women and girls in Eswatini, Vimbai is a firm believer in women’s capacity, tenacity, and adaptability to lead and drive transformative change in their communities. When she thinks about peace, she dreams about women coming together, taking up space, and walking side by side for a more peaceful and gender-equal world in which harmful stereotypes and cultural practices are left behind.

Follow, engage, and amplify the work of Vimbai's organization!

Pop Culture

Fans applaud Sabrina Carpenter's sweet response to a joke Dolly Parton made about aging

“If we treated older women like this more often maybe younger women would be less petrified of aging."

Kristopher Harris/Wikipedia,Condé Nast/Wikipedia

Dolly Parton (left) Sabrina Carpenter (right)

Fans are applauding Sabrina Carpenter for the incredibly sweet moment she shared with one of her biggest idols—the one and only Dolly Parton. The two were recently out promoting a new duet version of Carpenter’s “Please Please Please,” which appeared on her new Short n’ Sweet album, when Parton made an innocent (yet all too familiar feeling) self-deprecating joke about aging.

As the two posed for the cameras, Parton referred to them as “befores and afters,” before quipping “You’ll be this old one day,” to Carpenter. Parton was obviously being lighthearted, but it’s hard not to feel a twinge of sadness when you really think about it. Because, generally speaking, growing older has been something women have been made to fear for, well, their entire lives. So “you’ll be this old one day” almost comes across as an ominous warning, even though that was not really the intention. And you half expect Carpenter to shudder in utter terror at the thought of it all.

But instead, Carpenter quickly replied, “I know, I can’t wait! I hope I look like you,” with such genuine enthusiasm, it really shook people. The complete absence of fear seemed to reflect a refreshing shift from previous attitudes about aging, and viewers took note of its significance.

One person even likened Carpenter to Greta Gerwig’s Barbie, referring to the iconic acne where the titular doll calls an older woman “beautiful.”


By and large, folks hoped that older generations of women would adopt this newfound perspective of celebrating their age rather than bemoaning it. As one person wrote on X, “This is so important to tell older women. I never let older ladies talk down on themselves near me, it breaks my heart how they don’t see their beauty just because of their age.”

And sure, as some pointed out, Parton—with her virtually unlimited access to cosmetic procedures—might not be the prime example of wholeheartedly welcoming aging. But we’re not even really talking about her POV in this scenario anyway. It’s Carpenter’s sincere adoration that’s impactful.

As one person tweeted, “If we treated older women like this more often maybe younger women would be less petrified of aging,” which really hit the nail on the head.

And clearly, judging by other posts, folks share similar sentiments.

“I want more of us to welcome aging like this instead of shunning it and pretending it’s the worst thing that’s going to happen,” one person shared. Another said, “It truly is a privilege to live such a long and fruitful life, I hope more people express this sentiment so younger girls can start to feel this way too.”

It would be naive to think that societal standards have done a complete about face. After all, youth-enhancing cosmetic procedures are on the rise, even for those as young as 20-years-old. But even still, the fact that we are seeing more women, both young and old, tear down this outdated societal mindset shows progress is still being made. And all progress is worth celebrating.

via Meg Sullivan (used with permission) and Canva/Photos

A volunteer hands out food in a food bank and Meg Sullivan shares her dad's kind gesture.

When we consider people who have had a positive impact on the world, we often think of those who have made grand gestures to improve the lives of others, such as Martin Luther King, Jr., Greta Thunberg, or Mahatma Gandhi. Unfortunately, that type of effort is out of reach for the average person.

However, O Organics would like to remind everyone that they can positively impact the world through small, consistent acts of kindness that add up over time. Much like how a small creek can create a valley over the years, we can change lives through small, consistent acts of kindness.

O Organics is dedicated to the well-being of all by nourishing people everywhere with delicious organic foods grown by producers who meet USDA-certified organic farming standards.

Upworthy's Instagram page recently posted a touching example of everyday kindness. Meg Sullivan shared how her father, Tom, peeled oranges for her lunch just about every day from kindergarten through high school. But on the final day of her senior year of high school, he sent his 17-year-old daughter unpeeled oranges with a touching note about how she’d have to start peeling them for herself.



“It’s Time Baby Girl,” he wrote on a wikiHow printout on how to peel an orange with a drawing of himself crying. For the father, this daily ritual was about more than just making lunch; it was about showing that he cared by going the extra mile. “I could have put money on her lunch account,” Tom told Today.com. “But it’s one of those little things I thought was important, that she knows somebody’s taking the time to take care of her.”

The small, daily gesture taught Megan an essential lesson in kindness.

The post reminded people how their fathers’ small acts of kindness meant so much to them. “My dad peeled my oranges until I graduated high school, too. Now, I peel my daughter’s oranges and will for the next 7 plus years,” Katie wrote in the comments. “Love this. My dad peeled mine, too. When I moved out, he gave me an orange peeler gadget,” Mary added.

o organics, albertson's giving backO Organics has a wide array of foods and flavors covering almost everything on your shopping list.via Albertson's

Did you know that every time you go to the supermarket, you can also change the world through small gestures? O Organics not only allows you to feed your family delicious and nutritious organic food, but each purchase also gives back to help people and communities facing food insecurity.

Through contributions from customers like you, O Organics donates up to 28 million meals annually. The company’s contribution is essential when, according to the USDA, 47.4 million Americans live in food-insecure households.

O Organics has a wide array of foods and flavors covering almost everything on your shopping list. “Over the years, we have made organic foods more accessible by expanding O Organics to every aisle across our stores, making it possible for health and budget-conscious families to incorporate organic food into every meal,” Jennifer Saenz, EVP and Chief Merchandising Officer at Albertsons, one of many stores where you can find O Organics products, said in a statement.

O Organics now offers over 1500 items, from dairy products such as eggs and milk to packaged meats and breakfast staples such as cereal bars, granola and oatmeal. You can also enjoy affordable organic produce with O Organics’ fresh salads and fruit.

Everybody wants to make the world a better place. With O Organics, you can feed your family healthy, organic food every time you go to the market while paying it forward by contributing to the company’s efforts to end food insecurity nationwide. That’s a small, daily gesture that can amount to incredible change.

@findfoodfreedom/TikTok

Don't you wish YOU could be paid to nap?

It’s crazy to think about how, as an adult, we’d give damn near anything just to be able to take a nap, and yet when we’re kids it’s tantamount to a death sentence. Some kiddos fight, others whine, and still others scream a protest with all their might against an afternoon snooze for fear of missing out on the world around them…even though missing said nap is a surefire way for them to be in a foul mood later. Not to mention naps are vital for their mental development. But try telling that to a toddler who’s had their first taste of FOMO.

So how do parents coax kids into getting some midday rest? One mom swears by going the capitalistic route—with cold hard cash.

In a video posted to her TikTok, Sam Previte explains how her “very defiant, very independent" toddler daughter would nap at school “like a princess,” but refuse to do so at home on the weekends.

Getting creative, Previte introduced her daughter to the “Nap Fairy”—an idea she stumbled upon on social media—who would leave a penny, nickel, dime, or quarter in exchange for a nap. Of course, this fictional deal only closes if Previte's daughter actually falls asleep.

“Nap Fairy only comes when those eyes get heavy, and you rest your head on the pillow,” Previte quipped.

@findfoodfreedom i saw this on social media and idk who suggested this so please comment below if it was you🩵 #parenting #parentingtips #postpartum #toddlersoftiktok #toddlermom #naptime ♬ original sound - Find Food Freedom

To really sweeten the pot (and make the experience more fun), Previte even gave her daughter a little unicorn piggy bank to store all her nap coinage in, which opens the door to have future lessons about saving money.

And while Previte admitted that she never anticipated needing to incentive her kid this way, she lightheartedly warned folks that “ before you judge me, this s**t works.” Going by the comments, no judgment was had anyway. Parents were merely taking notes.

“Judge?! Mad at myself for not thinking about this!,” one person wrote, while another echoed. “Judge? Gurrrrl this is GENIUS.”

Still another joked, “girlll, we DONT judge. My dad printed face money with HIS FACE on em and called them ‘daddy dollars.’!

A few even shared how they too motivated their children with money, and to great success.

One mom wrote, “I pay my 5yo to read books. .25 for reading with help. $1 for reading to me.” While another said, “I pay my toddler for using the potty, she gets a quarter and I help her count her money then when we go to Walmart she can either get something small or she can save up for a toy.”

Previte’s "Nap Fairy" is a great example of creatively using positive reinforcement to teach kids about good habits. And what keeps it from being too extrinsic is that the reward itself is kept small, just enough for it to be an enjoyable ritual rather than a chore —though experts might suggest that Previte and other parents still not rely on this method too much, and consider weaning off it once a routine has been established.

Alternatively (or in addition to), parents could incorporate some verbal praise. Statements like, “Look how much energy you have after that nap!” are simple but make a big impact, and sometimes are the only magic words needed for a kid to continue pursuing desired behaviors.

Other than that, the key to creating a nap routine is quite similar to setting up a healthy bedtime routine as an adult—creating a cozy winding down ritual, dimming the lights, playing relaxing sounds, etc., and doing it at the same time each day. Even if no zzzs actually occur, there’s often a rejuvenating recharge.

Bottom line: when it comes to instilling good habits into kids, sometimes you gotta just go with what works. And you know what they say…cash is king.

Health

The forgotten link between Candy Land and polio and why it still matters

The history of the classic board game holds an important lesson about disease.

Photo credits: Amazon (left), Bror Brandt (right)

Candy Land was created for kids in the hospital with polio.

Candy Land has been adored by preschoolers, tolerated by older siblings, and dreaded by adults for generations. The simplicity of its play makes it perfect for young children, and the colorful candy-themed game has endured as an activity the whole family can do together.

Even for the grown-ups who find it mind-numbing to play, there's some sweet nostalgia in traversing the Peppermint Forest and avoiding the Molasses Swamp that tugs at us from our own childhoods. There are few things as innocent and innocuous as a game of Candy Land, but many of us may not know the dark reality behind how and why the game was invented in the first place.

candy landCandy Land has been a family favorite for decades, but it was originally created for kids with polio.m.media-amazon.com

Candy Land was invented by retired schoolteacher Eleanor Abbott while she recovered from polio in 1948. She was convalescing in a San Diego hospital surrounded by children being treated for the disease and saw how isolating and lonely it was for them. The game, which could be played alone and provided a fantasy world for sick children to escape to, become so popular among the hospital's young patients that Abbott's friends encouraged her to pitch it to game manufacturer Milton Bradley. The post-World-War-II timing turned out to be fortuitous.

“There was a huge market—it was parents who had kids and money to spend on them,” Christopher Bensch, Chief Curator at the National Toy Hall of Fame, told PBS. “A number of social and economic factors were coming together for [games] that were released in the [post-war era] that has kept them as evergreen classics." Candy Land soon became Milton Bradley's best-selling game.

Since the game doesn't require any reading or writing to play, children as young as 3 years old could enjoy it when they were feeling sad or homesick in the polio ward. As the polio epidemic ramped up in the early 1950s, the game gained even more popularity as parents often kept their kids indoors during polio outbreaks in their communities.

The polio vaccine changed the game—both for the disease and for Candy Land. Jonas Salk’s inactivated polio vaccine (IPV) was licensed in the spring of 1955 and a widespread vaccine campaign was launched. By 1961, polio cases had dropped from 58,000 to only 161. The disease was considered eradicated from the Americas in 1994, and, as of 2022, the only countries in the world to have any recorded cases were Pakistan and Afghanistan.

graph of polio cases from 1988 to 2021Vaccine GIF by World Health OrganizationGiphy

In the 70 years since the polio vaccine came out, Candy Land's connection to the disease has been lost, and it's now just a classic in the family board game cabinet. The fact that polio has so successfully been controlled and nearly eliminated makes it easy to forget that it used to be a devastating public health threat that spurred the need for the game in the first place. Children are routinely vaccinated for polio, keeping the disease at bay, but anti-vaccine messaging and fear threatens to impact the vaccination rates that have led to that success. Vaccination rates took a hit during the COVID-19 pandemic, and with the appointment of one of the most popular vaccine skeptics as the U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services, public health specialists are concerned.

There is no cure for polio, so the vaccine is by far our best weapon against it. According to infectious disease experts, it's not impossible for polio to make a comeback. “It’s pockets of the unimmunized that can bring diseases back," Patsy Stinchfield, former president of the National Foundation for Infectious Diseases, told Scientific American. "If you have a community of people geographically close to each other and they all choose not to vaccinate, that community immunity is going to drop quickly. And if a person who has polio or is shedding polio enters that community, the spread will be much more rapid.”

Without herd immunity, vulnerable people such as babies who are too young to be vaccinated and people with compromised immune systems are at risk in addition to the unvaccinated. And since up to 70% of polio cases are asymptomatic, there can be a lot more disease circulating than it appears when symptomatic disease is detected. No one wants the serious outcomes that can come with polio, such as paralysis, the inability to breathe without assistance, or death, especially when outbreaks are entirely preventable through vaccine-induced community immunity.

The fact that kids have been able to enjoy Candy Land for decades without thinking about polio at all is a testament to vaccine effectiveness, but it's also a reminder of how easy it is to take that carefreeness for granted.

Ariana Grande / YouTube

A resurface click of a 16-year-old Ariana Grande

Before she was Glinda the Good Witch, before she was a Grammy-winning music sensation, Ariana Grande-Butera was just a girl from Florida with huge dreams. After a quick stint in a Broadway musical, by the age of 15, she was part of the Nickelodeon world, beloved for her role as Cat Valentine in Victorious and it's spin-off Sam & Cat.

After a lot of hard work debuting her first album, the rest is history. But every so often, a picture or video of a teenage Ariana makes the rounds, and the internet goes wild. This time, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok have revived an old clip of a 16-year-old Ariana singing "Happy Birthday" to customers at a Chili's restaurant.

This isn't the first, nor probably the last, time the algorithms have popped this one up to the surface, especially since Ariana is on fire right now. But the fans and comments continue to discuss—with passion—how much they love her, even beyond her latest Wicked sensation.

What's interesting is that many fans still get the whole premise of it wrong. In a clip posted on TikTok, it's described as "Ariana singing happy birthday when she was a waitress at Chili's," then adding, "it's giving Meena vibes" (a reference to a shy performer in the animated film Sing, voiced by Tori Kelly).

@cloud_ari3

it's giving Meena #fyp #foryoupage #arianagrande #arianator #viral #cloud_ari3

There are over 300,000 likes and thousands of comments, with many questioning the original post. One writes, "She was working as a waitress while working on the set of Victorious?? Cuz she didn’t have red hair till the producers made her dye it." Others agree and wonder why she's there, clad in an apron and a tank top.

Some swear they knew her while she worked at the restaurant. "No one believed me that she worked at Chili’s. I remember her photos working there!"

And some are just impressed by both Grande AND Chili's. "Of COURSE Ari would work somewhere as magical as Chili's."

Finally, enough comments reveal that no, she was not, in fact, a working actress, raising money for a St. Jude charity event. "Y'all, she was already semi-famous when she did this. She worked one day as a guest server for a St. Jude Children's Hospital fundraiser."

In fact, that very fundraiser was a Chili's-based campaign called "Create-A-Pepper," whose goal was to raise $50 million for St. Jude Children's Hospital. On Popstar! Magazine's YouTube channel, Ariana shares, "If you donate a dollar or more, they can color in a pepper. The proceeds will go to St. Jude and help raise awareness for kids with cancer."

- YouTube, Popstar! Magazine, Ariana Grande www.youtube.com

In the video, Ariana also gives her heartfelt gratitude to another Chili's employee whom she says has been teaching her "how to be a waitress." The woman commends Ariana on her skills, though admits she doesn't quite know the menu. Ariana laughs and jokes that she's been making up things. "We have a sandwich with bananas and peanut butter and Nutella and fluff."

The Create-A-Pepper campaign is still very much active, and Chili's holds their donation drive every September.

Three people having a polite chat at a party.

There are numerous reasons why some don’t like making small talk. There are those of us who don’t enjoy it because, usually, it means having to feign interest in boring topics. Others don’t like small talk because they get nervous around strangers and are either afraid they’ll say something that makes them look dumb or that there will be a lull in conversation that makes every second feel like a decade.

The problem is that small talk is a fantastic interpersonal skill that can significantly benefit your professional life and make it easier to build relationships. The good news is that Oliver N Mark, a Substack user, created an easy-to-use script called the FLIP method that makes it easy to have small talk with just about anyone. You just have to remember the acronym: FLIP.

What is the FLIP method?

Oliver N Mark says that instead of “freezing up and overthinking,” he can now start and “hold conversations without forcing anything.” Here’s the FLIP method explained:

F – From → Ask about their background (“You sound like you might be from the UK?”)

L – Location → Use the environment (“What brings you here?”)

I – Interests → Find common ground (“What’s something you could talk about for hours?”)

P – Personalise → Make them feel seen (“That’s a cool necklace; does it have a story?”)


From

Everyone is from somewhere, and people’s origins are a big part of their identity, so you'll never go wrong asking someone where they were born.

“You sound like you are from New York.”

“Are you from around here?”

“When did you move here, or were you always from Los Angeles?”

Location

Even if you just met someone, you both have something in common. You are in the same place. Use that to your advantage by asking some location-based questions.

“Do you come here often?”

“What do you think of the artwork at this place?”

“What brings you here?”



Interests

Everyone loves to talk about their hobbies, the things they follow, or they love to read about. When they start talking, be sure to practice active listening, as the conversation could take an entirely new direction at any moment.

“What could you talk about for days?”

“What’s the last book you’ve read?”

“What do you do in your spare time?”

Personalize

Everyone loves the unique feeling of being noticed. If you genuinely point out something unique about someone, they'll really appreciate the compliment.

“Those are some great-looking shoes. Where did you get them?”

“You have a soothing accent. Where are you from?”

“What’s the story behind your tattoo?”

Another popular method for making small talk, similar to Oliver N. Mark’s FLIP method, is the FORD method, which stands for Family, Occupation, Recreation, and Dreams.


How much should I listen versus talk in a conversation?

Also, it’s essential not to forget that one of the most important aspects of making great small talk is being a good listener. But how long should you listen versus talk? A 2016 study on sales calls published by Gong.io found that interactions in which the salesperson talked 43% of the time and listened 57% of the time had the highest sales yield. This is known as the 43:57 rule and is a great one to follow if you want to make a great impression on someone.

Mastering the art of small talk can be a massive game-changer for your personal and professional life. Hopefully, you will find that the FLIP and FORD methods help you have more relaxed, natural conversations. It’s a little tricky at first, but with a little practice, you should be able to turn small talk into meaningful conversations and joyful relationships.