upworthy
Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.
Google News Button
Most Shared

Why these 77 alternatives to Black Friday are way cooler than that new gadget.

So you’re thinking of getting up at 3 a.m. on Black Friday?

Image via iStock.

With five barely digested portions of your Thanksgiving dinner in your belly, you're contemplating getting up at 3:00 in the morning. You may not be one of the over 25 million people working retail, and yet, you just know you'll find yourself trudging through the darkness en route to your local shopping center on Friday. It'll probably be cold. You might have that frost/mini-snowflake pattern thing crusting up on your windshield and the defrost won't kick in as fast as you'd like. I get it. You want to get that newest shiny toy for a moderate discount — for you or your family. Totally understandable.


But maybe you don't. Maybe you're going because everyone else is going. Maybe you're going because it's tradition. Maybe you're going just to see if there's anything you want to buy yourself. Maybe you'd rather do anything but shop on the biggest shopping day of the year.

So before you set that pre-dawn alarm on Friday, might I suggest...

77 other things you could do with your time on Black Friday:

1. Call* those who couldn’t be with you and yours on Thanksgiving.

You’ll be surprised how just a simple conversation can mean more than a million thanks.

*yes, call, don’t text

2. Donate to a charity that will help those less fortunate.

(And don’t post about it on social media ... you’ll thank yourself later.)

3. Move that football game with your buddies to Friday instead of Thursday during the day.

You’ll be rested and less likely to break your wrist trying to imitate Odell Beckham Jr. while wearing dungarees.

4. Have you ever tried sleeping in?

I do it once a month and it is the best thing ever.

5. Go to a park.

It will likely be the emptiest it’s ever been (though, if this idea takes off, sorry in advance if you walk into Woodstock).

6. This list is very important:

A book, a blanket, a cuppa, and a window. Trust me.

Image via iStock.

7. Volunteer at a soup kitchen.

Balance out the abundance of Thanksgiving dinner with providing sustenance for those in need.

8. Write letters.*

To relatives, old friends, Amnesty International, or your favorite teacher or mentor.

*actual letters, not FB messages or anything involving an IP address

9. Listen to the Beatles.

Because there's nothing you can do that can't be done.

10. Make a December 1 resolution.

Get a month ahead of the curve and start those crazy things you’re thinking of doing for two weeks in January.

11. Eat all the leftovers.

Think about how much more of them you can eat if you don’t have to wake up at 3 a.m. to wait in line to buy an off-brand Blu-ray player for $17.

12. Watch all the movies.

There are some amazing movies with and without Benedict Cumberbatch in them out there. You should go see them.

13. Follow up on those things you said you were thankful for the day before.

Sometimes we go though the motion and thank everything we can think of before dinner on Thanksgiving because we’re just sitting there waiting to regret the third serving of canned cranberry. Go through that list and see how you can show your thanks.

14. Research the 2018 midterm elections.

Sorry, did I put you to sleep there? If you want change, now is the time to get involved and see how the races are shaping up. Presidential elections have turned into reality shows ... oh, how they did ... but hardly anyone votes in the midterms because they’re so borrrrring. Look up what happened to Obama’s power in 2010 and if that nightmare isn’t enough to shake up some activism in you, then just wait till Jan. 20.

15. Rewatch every episode of "Westworld" five times.

Because WHAT DOOR?

Image from "Westworld"/HBO.

16. That closet/shed/storage space/shelf/cabinet that has all the stuff in it?

Clean it out, organize it from (a) "Things that you definitely don’t need to keep" to (b) "That wrinkly pea coat that you’ll definitely need in a few weeks."

17. Winter-proof your home!

With 30 years of New England winters under my belt, I feel your cold pain, my northern friends. This is less important for me, living in Los Angeles now, but for those of you in cooler climates, Black Friday is the perfect time to see what energy-saving steps you can take to save money and stay warmer through the winter.

18. Netflix and chill your leftover turkey.

Or reheat it. But make sure you have enough because Netflix will suck you in for days. (Yes, Netflix, I am still watching "Sense8." STOP ASKING ME.)

19. Does "aunt" rhyme with "haunt" or "ant"?

You talk to her roughly three times a year, maybe now's the time to dig down deep and finally answer the question of how it’s pronounced.

20. Plan or dream of a vacation outside your comfort zone.

I hear Argentina is lovely around the last third of January, or perhaps a nice jaunt to Manitoba in the spring. Hop online and do some research on places you’ve never dreamed of going. Hot tip? Mexico City is super affordable, close, and nothing short of stunning.

21. Who is your representative in Congress? Do you know?

Aha! Gotcha! Really, though — imagine there was no Google: How would you get in touch with the most important government employee responsible for representing you? Mine is Adam B. Schiff, and not only is he awesome, but I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing him. His advice on how to have your voice heard? Call your representative. It’s that simple.

Image via iStock.

22. Have a friendly game night.

We all know every game of Monopoly ends up in a huge fight, so plan accordingly, and make sure to bankrupt the uncle who voted for Donald Trump as fast as possible.

23. Check out the latest books at Kirkus Reviews.

I know that this might lead to some kind of shopping. But they just released their "Best Of" lists for the year, and personally, I’m 100% excited to get "Super Extra Grande" before then and just take a minute and #6.

24. Craft day with the kids!

Instead of rushing into a department store and wading around like a sardine trapped in oil all day, grab the kids and grab some crafting materials and just create some hideous — I mean, beautiful — artwork for the fridge.

25. No kids? Craft day with yourself!

No kids here either. (It’s OK. Really. Where is this obsession with everyone having kids? Not everyone wants kids, OK? Some of us just want to do our solo craft projects in peace.)

So let’s make some awesome stuff.

Like…

26. Learn origami.

I’m sure there’s at least one video online that can show you how to make cranes and ... wait, what else is there besides cranes? See? All the more reason to find out.

Image via iStock.

27. Organize all your music.

Maybe you only have "Hamilton" and "Hamilton Mixtape" on repeat — all. the. time. But sometimes when you go searching for your favorite Barenaked Ladies jam, you don’t know if it’s on your phone, iPad, CD, laptop, etc. Take today and get the ball rolling on syncing up all your glorious tunes so that next time you wonder what he says after “Watching X-files with no lights on,” you can cue it up on any device you have handy.

28. Find out how to say “in the house” in French.

29. Rewatch the entire "Back to the Future" trilogy

Yes, Nike released self-tying shoes, the Cubs won, and Biff got elected, but there’s also a happy ending in there ... somewhere.

30. Days and nights at the museums.

How about getting yourself the gift of knowledge, culture, history, art, and more?

Lots of museums have Black Friday events, and while they’ll probably be crowded, they'll likely have less of a "running of the bulls" vibe as your local mall.

31. Don’t cook a single thing.

Get creative with those leftovers. Have you ever had a cranberry/stuffing/sweet potato sandwich on two slices of thick cut turkey? You’re welcome.

But instead of bread, use turkey. Trust me. Image via iStock.

32. Or bake everything.

Main course is all set (see above), but how about the heavenly smell of fresh baked bread, pecan pie, or cinnamon rolls piping through your house as you bask in your decision to not leave the house at 4:00 in the morning to fight over a toy that will be ignored two days after Christmas.

33. Update your Bucket List.

Highlights on mine include: learning to knit, going skydiving, and seeing "Hamilton." What about you?

34. Decide on the best trilogy ever and watch it. All of it. Extended editions too.

"Star Wars"? Indy? "Back to the Future"? "Qatsi"? "Before Midnight"? "Toy Story"? "Lord of the Rings"? "Matrix"? "Twilight" (kidding)?

35. Support local businesses.

Obviously you're avoiding the malls and stores with massive plastic signs, but if you head down to your local “main street” and pop into some of the local family-owned shops, chances are they’ll appreciate your patronage and you’ll be helping your community in more ways than one.

Image via iStock.

36. Bubble. Bath.

When was the last time you just dipped into soapy, bubbly hot goodness and just relaxed?

37. Unplug for a bit.

Try it for a few hours. It’ll be hard and the phantom vibrations will drive you nuts for a the first 20-30 minutes, but then ... oh, then ... you’ll feel 100% more relaxed.

38. Avoid using #blessed.

True enlightenment doesn’t require a data plan.

39. See if you can help out your parents with anything.

I wish I could still do this, so if anything, for me, give them a call, head over, and see if they need help with anything around the house. You know, if you can.  

40. Have a "Monty Python" marathon.

Because with today’s current events, it's so good to "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life."

41. Immerse yourself in "The Crown. "

Wait. You haven’t seen "The Crown"? OK. Well that’s literally your entire Black Friday right there.

Image from "The Crown"/Netflix.

42. Make sure your younger siblings still know who’s in charge.

Noogies were a great method back in the day, but simply making them do the dishes does wonders to reassert your oldest sibling status. It’s the little things.

43. Debate the merits of and rank local cuisine from around the country.

Please share this list with me (hello, I am @LACarlos on Twitter). Currently I have Chicago deep dish pizza above a Philly cheesesteak but that “wiz wit” is making a run for it.

44. Define "materialism."

Let me Google that for you.

45. Have you heard of this website called Upworthy?

If there’s one internet hole you can fall all the way down in, I suggest reading some of the stories you can find on this very website. They’re pretty damn thoughtful and all the smiles and empathy are 100% free.

46. Rank the greatest sports teams of all time.

What metric will you use? Titles? Global reach? David Ortiz? So far, I have the Yankees in second to last place, but of course, any team that appropriates native culture is at the bottom of the list as well.

47. Rewatch "The Godfather" duology.

Because there are only TWO Godfather movies that matter. (Thanks, Sophia.)

48. Follow people you admire online.

Because it would be super sketchy if you did it IRL. Stop trying to make stalking cute, Hollywood. It's not.

49. Order a pizza from a local joint.

If you can, order pizza from a mom-and-pop shop that is probably using the same recipe they’ve had in the family for 100 years instead of from a massive corporation. Eat all the history.

Image via iStock.

50. Use the internet for good.

I joke about certain hashtags, but there are so many out there that are socially conscious and helping to bring about change. Take a look: #YesAllWomen, #BlackLivesMatter, #UmbrellaRevolution, and #WhyIStayed #WhyILeft are some that have made an impact.

51. Make plans to march to the best mall ever on Jan. 21.

You know, with 1 million other women who are also marching. With signs. Justice and liberty for all has no price, after all.

52. Watch a movie and also learn about climate change.

"Before the Flood," a movie produced by Leonardo DiCaprio, Martin Scorsese, and others, is a moving documentary that helps us understand even further the steps we need to take regarding climate change.

53. Write something.

You don’t have to finish it on Friday, but have you ever had an idea for a short story? A book? A poem? An article? It usually takes some guy named Lin-Manuel six-seven years to write something, so don’t feel rushed. Sit back and jot down some ideas and see where your imagination takes you.

54. Make a baby...

You know, if you want to and are totally ready to. Otherwise, make sure you're fully protected.

55. ...or adopt a pet.

Because they are adorable, loyal, always happy, and did I mention adorable? Go to an adoption center and just try to not walk out with a new best friend.  

Image via iStock.

56. Make mulled wine.

It’s so good. (You can totally do this on Thursday as well.) But the smell and the warmth is 100% what Thanksgiving weekend should feel like.

57. Make some handmade gifts.

For example, lazy and delicious handmade vanilla extract. You’ll save money and be the coolest.

58. Get involved in your local government.

You’d be surprised how much thought goes into, “Should we put a stop sign there?” I have friends who felt the same way and a year later they've become elected neighborhood council members; they get to help make the decisions with their constituency. Research it online and make a game plan.

59. Take a hike.

No, really. Grab the friends, family, dog, boots, and bundle up and go for a hike. Who knows how much longer we’ll have these 58 glorious national parks? Might as well enjoy them now.

Image via iStock.

60. Figure out how to play this game well.

When you're done with the Monopoly debacle, try wrapping your head around Go, which is considered the hardest game in the world.  It “possesses more possibilities than the total number of atoms in the visible universe.”

61. Have a video game marathon.

Blow into those cartridges, fire up the ol' Sega Genesis, and demolish all the Sonic levels. (I am definitely not a child of the '80s.)

62. It's Black Friday, so stick to a theme: watch "Black Sails," "Black Mirror," and "Orphan Black."

Jury is still out on "Code Black" though.  

63. Write some cards.

Don’t print them out. Don’t use a template. Go old school here. Jot down some thank-you notes, some well wishes, or even some holiday cheer. Oh, and you have to make sure you send them. So buy stamps.

64. Watch the best coach in sports lose to my home team.

The National Basketball Association seems to be the league having the right kinds of conversations. Gregg Popovich is what all coaches should be. The Boston Celtics are rebuilding. It’s an early game so enjoy it and maybe we’ll have a miracle. There are also plenty of other entertaining games from one of the best sports league in America.

65. Clear the air with your family after awkward election conversations.

So you had some awkward conversations about politics with your relatives. First, take a breather and regroup. But then, if you're up for it, the day after is a good time to revisit why they feel a certain way and what can be done to unite as a whole, starting with your family. If they’re OK with having some respectful dialogue, give it a whirl. If not, remember you probably only need to see them a few times a year.

66. OK, so if you must shop:

See if you can find some gifts that give back, that are socially conscious, that do more than just pick up dust in your random stuff closet.

Image via iStock.

67. Turn your leftovers into a Frankenstein meal.

Have you ever had a turkey/stuffing/cranberry pie made from scratch? Have you ever made potato pancakes on the griddle using just mashed potatoes from the vat from last night? You’re welcome.

68. Marathon some Broadway show tunes and try to sing along.

I’m 100% serious here.

69. Branch out from Broadway. Try local theater.

When’s the last time you went to your local theater? Escapism a wonderful thing, so look up what’s happening in your regional theaters. I bet there are no fewer than 50 "Godspell," "Oklahoma!," "Fiddler on the Roof," and "Hello, Dolly!" productions happening right now. Even better? You’ll be supporting local artists and community organizations.

70. Laugh.

There are countless improv troupes, stand-up comedians, and other people who tell jokes in exchange for money out there. Find a local comedy club or comedy show, grab a table, and get ready to laugh uncontrollably.

71. Throw a cuddle party.

Significant other? Puppy? Teddy bear? Comforter? Oversized pillow? Find the position where everything is just perfect, put your phone on mute, and spend a couple hours just dozing with your favorite cuddle buddy.

72. Go all-in on some sweet, sweet nap time.

See 71 above. More of a solo cuddle party kind of person? That’s totally fine because this way no one can judge you for your deafening snoring. The struggle is real.

73. Watch movies about the dystopian future.

Just in case you might actually need those survival skills soon.

74. Donate your old clothes.

Clean out your closet. Get rid of the clothes you don't wear anymore or don't want and find them a better home. Goodwill takes a variety of donations, but did you know there are organizations that specifically accept donated business clothes? Don’t want that old suit? Donate it! It can actually help someone get a job.

75. Paint things every color.

Finger? Watercolor? Spin art? Bob Ross? Your old room? Plan new colors for the new year.

76. Do something you think is childish.

Eat something with your hands. Go play in a pile of leaves. Eat mac and cheese with hot dogs. Draw on the walls. Spin around until you fall over. Watch a Disney movie.

You’ll smile.

77.  Appreciate ... something.

You don’t actually have to do anything today. You could just sit back and appreciate that you have all these options, and more importantly, that you are, hopefully, lucky enough to share them with family, friends, and more.

Image via iStock.

Black Friday doesn't have to be a soul-sucking, manic corporate nightmare if you don't want it to be.

If you love shopping on Black Friday? Sure, go for it. If you need to shop on Black Friday? Do it.  

But you don't have to shop just because everyone else is.

Shopping on Black Friday not only means being away from your family, it also means thousands of workers across the country will be away from theirs, likely working long hours and extended shifts. So if you can, just say "no" to Black Friday shopping, and pick one or two or three of the items on this list to spend your day enjoying instead.

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
True

In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.


“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

A warm welcome

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

quiet, finger over lips, don't talk, keep it to yourself, silence

A woman with her finger over her mouth.

It can be hard to stay quiet when you feel like you just have to speak your mind. But sometimes it's not a great idea to share your opinions on current events with your dad or tell your boss where they're wrong in a meeting. And having a bit of self-control during a fight with your spouse is a good way to avoid apologizing the next morning.

Further, when we fight the urge to talk when it's not necessary, we become better listeners and give others a moment in the spotlight to share their views. Building that small mental muscle to respond to events rather than react can make all the difference in social situations.


argument, coworkers, angry coworkers, hostile work enviornment, disagreement A woman is getting angry at her coworker.via Canva/Photos

What is the WAIT method?

One way people have honed the skill of holding back when they feel the burning urge to speak up is the WAIT method, an acronym for the question you should ask yourself in that moment: "Why Am I Talking?" Pausing to consider the question before you open your mouth can shift your focus from "being heard" to "adding value" to any conversation.

The Center for The Empowerment Dynamic has some questions we should consider after taking a WAIT moment:

  • What is my intention behind what I am about to say?
  • What question can I ask to better understand what the other person is saying?
  • Is my need to talk an attempt to divert the attention to me?
  • How might I become comfortable with silence rather than succumb to my urge to talk?

tape over muth, sielnce, be quiet, mouth shut, saying nothing A man with tape over his mouth.via Canva/Photos

The WAIT method is a good way to avoid talking too much. In work meetings, people who overtalk risk losing everyone's attention and diluting their point to the extent that others aren't quite sure what they were trying to say. Even worse, they can come across as attention hogs or know-it-alls. Often, the people who get to the heart of the matter succinctly are the ones who are noticed and respected.

Just because you're commanding the attention of the room doesn't mean you're doing yourself any favors or helping other people in the conversation.

The WAIT method is also a great way to give yourself a breather and let things sit for a moment during a heated, emotional discussion. It gives you a chance to cool down and rethink your goals for the conversation. It can also help you avoid saying something you regret.

fight, spuse disagreement, communications skills, upset husband, argument A husband is angry with his wife. via Canva/Photos

How much should I talk in a meeting?

So if it's a work situation, like a team meeting, you don't want to be completely silent. How often should you speak up?

Cary Pfeffer, a speaking coach and media trainer, shared an example of the appropriate amount of time to talk in a meeting with six people:

"I would suggest a good measure would be three contributions over an hour-long meeting from each non-leader participant. If anyone is talking five/six/seven times you are over-participating! Allow someone else to weigh in, even if that means an occasional awkward silence. Anything less seems like your voice is just not being represented, and anything over three contributions is too much."

Ultimately, the WAIT method is about taking a second to make sure you're not just talking to hear yourself speak. It helps ensure that you have a clear goal for participating in the conversation and that you're adding value for others. Knowing when and why to say something is the best way to make a positive contribution and avoid shooting yourself in the foot.

gramnesia, millennial, millennial parents, boomers, boomer parents, boomer grandparents, boomer grandparenting
@millennialmomtherapist/Instagram, Photo credit: Canva

Millennials coined the term "gramnesia" for Boomer grandparents who have forgotten what it's like raising kids.

Becoming a grandparent is the dream for many parents who've raised their children into adulthood. After all, there are few things sweeter than getting to spend time with grandkids.

But many Millennial parents have had many bones to pick with their Boomer parents about their grandparenting skills (or lack thereof). Recently, Millennials have been calling out Boomer grandparents for a number of questionable grandparenting behaviors: from excessive gift giving to completely disappearing.


And its led one Millennial mom to coin the term "gramnesia" when describing her Boomer parents as grandparents.

What is "gramnesia"?

“Gramnesia,” which combines the words “grandparent” and “amnesia,” has been popping up on Reddit discussions for a while now, though the coiner of the term seems unknown. But only recently has it been really gaining traction.

Back in June of 2024, Maryland-based therapist and mom Allie McQuaid, really brought “gramnesia” to the forefront of the conversation when she made an Instagram video all about it.

“I just heard this term called ‘gramnesia’ when grandparents forget what it’s really like having young kids and I can’t stop thinking about how accurate it is,” she said in the clip.

In her caption, McQuaid shared how so many of her clients would get “slammed” by their parents about how different (i.e. “easier”) raising kids was for them whenever they brought their own children around.

These hyperbolic memories are, as McQuaid put it, so “ridiculous” that they've clearly “forgot[ten] what it was really like in those early years of parenthood.”

@selahvictor

Millennial Moms have you experienced this?! I swear every time I ask my Mom about a parenting struggle, she's like "what are you talking about?" SHE HAS GRAMNESIA😂😂Disclaimer: my Mom had 8 kids, so maybe she just was way more of an expert than me😜Also if you made it to the end, this is probably why it was easier for that generation too (and why I'm a great sleeper!)😂 #boomers #millenialmom #millennial #boomermom #parentinghelp #momof8 #selahvictor #lamom #gramnesia

Examples of “gramnesia” statements

“You never had tantrums when you were a kid.”

“I potty trained you before you were one.”

“You were always happy to eat whatever we fed you.”

“You were spanked and turned out fine!”

Clearly, McQuaid’s video struck a chord, because it wasn’t long before people begin chiming in with their own stories of gramnesia:

“My MIL, over the years, loved to act like her children were perfect growing up. I love to tell the stories of her son (my hubby) getting into all kinds of trouble as a kid - oh the shock.”

*Baby makes any kind of noise* Grandma: "Oh they must be teething!" Me : "Umm she's 4 months old, She isn't teething yet - just has feelings and is you know - A BABY" grandma: ‘well my kids had all their teeth by 4 months’ 😐🤨”

“5 months old and not sleeping through the night? Did you try rice cereal? Baby not walking ? Rice cereal. Baby not in college yet? Have you tried rice cereal?”

“Ugh my dad literally just said this to me last week… ‘I don’t remember you guys having this many tantrums’… 🙄 right after my boys were upset.”

gramnesia, boomer grandparent, boomer grandparents, grandkids, grandparenting Some Boomer grandparents are being called out for "gramnesia".Photo credit: Canva

Why "gramnesia" exists in the first place

One is that it could simply be the natural tendency to have a cognitive bias which puts past experiences in a more positive light than they actually were, aka having “euphoric recall.” As she told Huffpost, we tend to have a “foggier memory of how things truly were” as we get older, “especially if the experience we had was particularly difficult or even traumatic.”

Plus, the first few years of parenthood are often such a blur anyway. McQuaid herself admitted that ”I even have a hard time remembering the first year of motherhood, and that was only four years ago.”

In addition, McQuaid theorized that gramnesia exists because previous generations “were not given space to express emotions or indicate that they were struggling to adjust to motherhood.” Honestly, a sound hypothesis.

How to confront Boomer parents about "gramnesia"

“Check your capacity if you have the space or energy to even consider bringing up your frustration with your parents,” she told Huffpost. “You are likely in the throes of parenting right now, and maybe all you can do is smile and nod after hearing for the 100th time how ‘you were never like this.’”

However, if you are determined to bring it up and set the record straight, McQuaid suggests to actually keep it centered around you and how the situation makes you feel, rather than combating their memories. So, instead of saying, “That’s NOT how it happened!” try something like, “When you said that I never did X when I was Y’s age, it makes me question how well I’m doing as a parent.” Probably easier said than done, to be sure.

And while this sore spot might never come to a full resolution for a lot of millennial parents, at least take some solace in knowing that you’re not crazy, nor are you alone.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

Pop Culture

James Van Der Beek's realization about his identity after cancer has people pondering

"I had to look my own mortality in the eye," said the Dawson's Creek alum. "I had to come nose to nose with death."

james van der beek
Photo credits: SANSIERRASTUDIO (left) Super Festivals from Ft. Lauderdale, USA (right)

James Van Der Beek in 2010 and 2023

There's nothing like a brush with death to make you reflect on your life. It's so easy for all of us to get caught up in the day-to-day details of living and not take the time to ponder the deeper elements of existence, from the nature of the universe to the meaning of life to our own individual role in the big picture.

Existential questions can sometimes feel overwhelming, but actor James Van Der Beek shared a thoughtful 48th birthday message with his own life reflection after facing cancer, and it distills a lot of the angst of those questions into a simple yet profound answer that's hitting home with people.


Van Der Beek, who starred in the millennial favorite Dawson's Creek, announced he'd been diagnosed with stage 3 colorectal cancer in 2024 at age 47. He and his wife, Kimberly, have six children, and in a video shared on social media, Van Der Beek shared the progression from his somewhat unfulfilling identity as an actor to "the ultimate" identity as a husband and father prior to his cancer diagnosis.

"I could define myself as a loving, capable, strong, supportive husband, father, provider, steward of the land that we're so lucky to live on," he said. "And for a long time, that felt like a really good definition of the question, 'Who am I? What am I?'"

"And then this year, I had to look my own mortality in the eye," he continued. "I had to come nose to nose with death. And all of those definitions that I cared so deeply about were stripped from me. I was away for treatment, so I could no longer be a husband who is helpful to my wife. I could no longer be a father who could pick up his kids and put them to bed and be there for them. I could not be a provider because I wasn't working. I couldn't even be a steward of the land because at times I was too weak to prune all the trees during the window that you're supposed to prune them."

He found himself facing the question: "If I am just a too-skinny, weak guy, alone in an apartment, with cancer, what am I?"

So often we define ourselves by our roles in life or by what we do, but what if those things change? Who are we when it's just us, alone, with nothing external to anchor us to a particular identity?

"And I meditated and the answer came through," Van Der Beek shared. "I am worthy of God's love, simply because I exist. And if I'm worthy of God's love, shouldn't I also be worthy of my own? And the same is true for you."

I offer that to you however it sits in your consciousness. However it resonates, run with it," he said. "And if the word God trips you up, I certainly don't know or claim to know what God is or explain God. My efforts to connect to God are an ongoing process that is a constant unfolding mystery to me. But if it's a trigger or if it feels too religious you can take the word 'God' out and your mantra can simply be 'I am worthy of love.' Because you are."


Van Der Beek's sincere, warm delivery and universal message of love and worth hit home for a lot of people. Fellow celebrities and fans alike praised and thanked him for it:

"Happy birthday brother. This was absolutely beautiful 💜🙏🏻💜," wrote singer Chris Daughtry.

"You’re a gift to this earth and I’m grateful to know you even if it’s just through IG. Greatly admire the graceful way you share and happy you made it around the Sun again," wrote New Kids on the Block's Joey McIntyre.

The Sopranos' Jamie-Lynn Sigler wrote, "That is it James. That is it. And you my friend are love. A steward of love. A teacher of love !❤️. We love you !!"

"I watched this with Bodhi with tears in our eyes and Bodhi said 'that was really touching' thanks for being love James and sharing that with everyone, ❤️" added actor Teresa Palmer.

Battlestar Galactica reboot's Katee Sackhoff wrote, "Thank you for your vulnerability and wisdom ❤️ Amen!'

"You are such a special soul. You are pure love my friend," added actor Nikki Reed. "Worthy of it all… hoping to hug all of you soon. Happy birthday❤️❤️❤️"

Some people took issue with Van Der Beek saying people could remove the word "God" from the message if they wanted to, but the reality is that not everyone has positive feelings about God or religion, and some have even been deeply hurt by people weaponizing them. Van Der Beek making a message of love more universal so that everyone can take it in and benefit from it without barriers or hang-ups is part of what makes it so beautiful. He was able to express his own religious/spiritual experience without shying away from the terminology that was true for him, while also making sure that his message was accessible to everyone regardless of faith or belief.

Perhaps we can all take a lesson from Van Der Beek's sincere, open, and balanced approach as well.

1990s kids, 1990s parents, lies, '90s nostalgia, old wives tale, '90s kid
via 90sKid4lyfe/TikTok (used with permission)

90sKidforLife shares 10 lies everyone's parents told in the era.

Children believe everything their parents tell them. So, when parents lie to prevent their kids to stop them from doing something dumb, the untruth can take on a life of its own. The lie can get passed on from generation to generation until it becomes a zombie lie that has a life of its own. In 2024, a man named Justin, known as 90sKid4Lyfe on TikTok and Instagram, put together a list of 10 lies parents told their kids in the ‘90s, and the Gen X kids in the comments thought it was spot on.

“Why was I told EVERY ONE of these?” one commenter, wrote. “I heard all of these plus the classic ‘If you keep making that face, it will get stuck like that,’” another added. After just four days of being posted, the video had been viewed upwards of 250,000 times.


@90skid4lyfe

Parents were always lying #90s #90skids #parenting

Here are Justin’s 10 lies '90s parents told their kids:

1. "You can't drink coffee. It'll stunt your growth."

2. "If you pee in the pool, it's gonna turn blue."

3. "Chocolate milk comes from brown cows."

4. "If you eat those watermelon seeds, you'll grow a watermelon in your stomach."

5. "Don't swallow that gum. If you do, it'll take 7 years to come out."

6. "I told you we can't drive with the interior light on. ... It's illegal."

7. "Sitting that close to the TV is going to ruin your vision."

8. "If you keep cracking your knuckles, you're gonna get arthritis."

8. "You just ate, you gotta wait 30 minutes before you can swim."

10. "If you get a tattoo, you won't find a job."

'90s kids, '80s kids, parents, white lies, tattoo, jobs A woman gets a tattoo.Canva Photos

Eight more lies that parents told their kids in the '90s

Justin's video was also a hit on Reddit, where many commenters had heard the same lies growing up. However, there were a few more they remembered hearing as kids back in the day. Commenters added eight more items to his list of 10 things that parents lied to their kids about in the '90s. Here are some great ones Justin could use to create a follow-up video:

"When the ice cream man is playing music, that means he’s all sold out."

"You'll never make any money messing around with that computer."

'90s kids, '80s kids, parents, white lies, kids, parenting Boy playing on the computer.Canva Photos

"Dusty went to live on a farm."

"You'll go to jail if you take the mattress tag off."

"My in-laws told my husband (as a child) not to flip the light switch on and off because he would start a fire in the wall that would burn down the house."

"I was also always told that if I played with the campfire, I would wet the bed that night."

"Green potato chips are poisonous, and eating raw hot dogs gives you cancer."

"My mom told me I couldn’t put on the skin transfer tattoo that came with my chewing gum because the tattoo had drugs in it."

This post originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

boomers, old people complaints, technology, gen x, millennials, gen z, grumpy old man, old people, seniors
via Tim Doefler/Unsplash

Boomers weren't wrong about everything. Here are 16 complaints even young people agree with.

Baby boomers often find themselves the butt of the joke these days. Deserved or not, they have to absorb some serious criticism from Gen Xers down to Gen Alpha kids. Notoriously, the generation takes heat from younger generations who think that their me-first mentality helped create a world where the climate is getting warmer, the rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer and people born in the ‘40s and ‘50s still rule the modern workplace. They're also famous for being crotchety, cranky, and pessimistic about the way the world is going.

And in that, they're not always wrong. Many boomers would probably stand up and cheer if they read a list of tweets inspired by a since-deleted discussion on X that posted the question, “What is the most boomer complaint you have?”


The debate was embraced by younger people and received over 123 million views and spawned similar discourses all across social media.

boomers, old people complaints, technology, gen x, millennials, gen z, grumpy old man, old people, seniors Grumpy boomers aren't wrong about everything. Photo by Evgeniy Kozlov on Unsplash

Even though boomers are frequently in the hot seat these days, just about everyone can agree that they’re right about many things that get under younger people’s skin, too. One of the recurring themes of the post was that people can’t stand the fact that we are overly dependent on technology, and often, instead of making things more accessible, it makes them more frustrating.

Here are 16 of the best ‘boomer complaints’ that younger people have, too.

People had a lot of thoughts on the state of tipping culture.

"Tipping culture has gotten out of hand," one user wrote.

The discussion and sentiment continued over on Reddit, where one user joked: "Do you want to tip 20% for this comment?"


- YouTube www.youtube.com

They also can’t stand the idea that technology has complicated things unnecessarily.

One Redditor wrote simply, "I miss buttons."

"And cords. Can’t I just connect things like the old days??" someone added.

Another observed how annoying it is to "sign up" for every single thing. "Don’t make me have an account for everything."

"This more broadly is turning into one of my largest complaints about living ... Too many apps, too many accounts, too many ads, too many notifications, too many questions, too many email lists," someone responded.


And don't even get them started on AI.

"I. WANT. TO. TALK. TO. AN. AGENT!!!!!! DON’T. WANT. YOUR. [&$^@&*#]. AI. CUSTOMER. SUPPORT!!!!!!!" a Redditor fumed.

Some were frustrated enough to find ways to hack the system. "My hack that I find works on the majority of these systems is to mumble nonsense when asked 'what can i help you with today?', the system usually asks to clarify a couple of times and then will get you an agent as it cannot understand your request."

Also—what happened to adult clothes?

"Adults shouldn't dress like children. Jordans, Yeezys, 'slides', etc." someone added.


Whatever happened to paying for something once and then owning it?

Or being able to own physical media so that you don’t have to pay every time you watch your favorite movie?

"I wanna go back to blue-rays and DVDs and actually own the content I like. Fk streaming, yes to physical media!"

"Why does everything good require a subscription"

"I am absolutely not paying a monthly subscription to use your shitty app," a Reddit user wrote.


Moving on to food complaints.

When did we all decide that almost every chip has to be kettle-cooked and made for people with cobalt teeth? Enjoying a snack shouldn't result in a $5,000 dental bill.

"potato chips are too expensive and too hard these days" wrote someone on X.

Oh, and the new high-tech food menus drive everyone nuts, too:

"Please don't make me scan a QR code for the menu," a Reddit user added.

"I don't want to use a QR code to see a menu or store hours, give me a paper menu," an X user agreed.

boomers, old people complaints, technology, gen x, millennials, gen z, grumpy old man, old people, seniors Even the young people can't stand QR codes. Photo by Albert Hu on Unsplash


Remember when coffee was a quarter? Boomers do.

These days, it's common to spend $6 or $7 PLUS on a cup of Joe.

"I remember when coffee wasn’t the cost of a meal," an X user reminisced.

And it's not just coffee. Even the price of a McDonald's cheeseburger has nearly doubled in the last ten years. We're all cranky about it.


boomers, old people complaints, technology, gen x, millennials, gen z, grumpy old man, old people, seniors Everything, even fast food, has gotten out of control expensive. Photo by Hexandcube on Unsplash

We might label boomers as the cranky generation, but eventually, Gen Xers, millennials and, yes, even Gen Zers will be right behind them, complaining about "kids these days" and why things were so much better "in my day." Tis the circle of life. One the bright side though, they'll at least be better at using technology.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.