Teacher 'ready to quit' after being forced to deal with 'every feeling' her students have
“Maybe I'm getting too old for this modern bubble wrapping of kids emotions."
In post-pandemic America, a majority of teachers believe that education is heading in the wrong direction. Among their greatest concerns are children's dependence on smartphones, a growing sense of entitlement among students and parents, low pay, and growing mental health behavioral problems among students.
These problems have made many teachers consider new professions. A 2023 poll of 1,200 teachers found that 40% of public school teachers have either seriously considered leaving the profession or are planning to do so by the end of the year. Nearly all said they understand why other teachers have quit.
A veteran teacher recently admitted she was ready to quit her job at a private high school. The problem is that the school has ceded power to its counselors, who have made their students’ feelings the top priority. This makes the classroom nearly impossible to manage.
A stressed math teacher.via Canva/Photos
“The counselors believe every student's feeling needs to be acknowledged,” the teacher wrote. “If a student is talking while the teacher is talking and a teacher tells them to stop they complain to their counselor that their teacher is picking on them. The counselor acknowledges their feelings as ‘real’ and repeatedly tells them their feelings are ok. That feelings are never wrong to have.”
“These kids are high school age and are smart enough to weaponize this power. They've already made me cry once this year and I had another teacher come to my room crying,” the teacher continued. “I'm thinking about quitting either soon or in December. Is this a new trend in education? I know kids and parents have changed, but I've never worked at a school where the counselors make it so much worse.”
“Maybe I'm getting too old for this modern bubble wrapping of kids emotions at the expense of others around them,” she concluded her post on Reddit’s Teacher’s forum.
The school counselors appear to be pushing an idea recently popular in psychology circles: feelings should always be honored and never questioned. Michael Karson, Ph.D., refers to this as the "Tyranny of Emotion" in Psychology Today. "Privileging emotion is like privileging one’s own hunger or lust, an essentially narcissistic approach to gratification that leaves others at the mercy of one’s whims. Instead of demanding compliance with our feelings, we ought to be learning how to manage them," he writes.
A super stressed teacher.via Canva/Photos
The teacher’s story rallied a lot of support for her, with fellow educators chiming in to explain the phenomenon she’s experiencing and share examples of how they’re handling it.
One of the teachers believes that the overwhelming focus on feelings will lead to real problems for students as they age.
"I really resent that teaching has been conflated with therapy. We are not trained to nurture the emotions of 30 children simultaneously, while also teaching them. I couldn't do it. I don't do it. … It sounds like instead of just 'acknowledging' feelings, there is some entitlement attached to having a feeling. That students and the councelling department have run with the idea that feelings are facts and need constant accommodation. It's not a helpful practice to amplify teenagers negative emotions and put them on a pedestal, to the point where they are aware of how to manipulate adults. Students need support... with professionals and family.
The repercussions of this bubble zone will manifest in negative ways throughout adulthood. Students will become entitled, defensive, righteous, self-involved, disappointed when faced with challenges where their feelings aren't valued.
Another teacher noted that the over-emphasis on feelings neglects other important parts of social-emotional learning (SEL).
"Uh no. SEL has 5 core competencies. The first is self-awareness. Yes, the students should have feelings and feelings are important. The second competency is self-management. Now that we've identified this feeling, how can we self-regulate so we can still be productive in class? It seems your counseling department only got 20% of the training on SEL? Lol."
Another commenter helped make sense of the situation by suggesting a practical way forward for the teacher.
“I would ask and email your admin about it. Tell them your situation and how its affecting instruction. If they have your back, there you go. If they don't, I'd quit.”