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Joy

People born between Gen X and millennials are humorously demanding recognition

Have you ever felt stuck between two generations?

Xennials; generations; funny
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Xennials, people born between Gen X and millennials just want to be acknowledged.

Are you a Xennial? If you are, you probably already know because you’re staunchly holding on to that moniker until someone pries it from your cold lifeless hands. If you're not a Xennial then you’re probably wondering what one is and why do they care so much about the distinction. Xennials are a microgeneration born between Gen X and millennials, you may remember them as Gen Y but much like the generation itself, somewhere along the way that was dropped and forgotten. They're uncomfortably straddling two generations with one foot planted in both, yet somehow not fitting anywhere.

The span of years that Xennials were born is 1977-1983 but there’s some infighting on where the cut-off should be. It all comes down to how you grew up and when regular exposure to technology came into your life, and whether it was through you or through your friends. Chances are if you don’t remember computers before they were full color, then you were likely born after the cut-off. Xennials' parents rarely knew where they were, as they didn’t have cell phones or pagers as kids and they were babysitting by the age of 8.

Xennials' Gen X siblings supervised them as closely as they were supervised: from a distance, far far away. I know because I am one. We were the Oregon Trail generation—we died of dysentery and drank from the water hose because coming in for water meant you had to stay inside. Google was not yet a thing when we were in high school. We had to Ask Jeeves.

My childhood was vastly different from my clearly millennial husband’s. When I saw that someone decided people born in my birth year were considered geriatric millennials, I was having none of it. So I did the very #Millennial thing of posting to social media to demand that Merriam-Webster stop dallying and finally add Xennial to the dictionary. Turns out I wasn’t alone in my frustration, the responses proved we really are just a generation wandering around confused.

One poster, Becca Zibung Mosier, responded, “1980 here and I’ll die on this hill with you!!!” Another, Jessica Morgan, accurately captured the insanity of being a member of a microgeneration saying, “Yesssss! I’ve always FELT more GenX (‘78), but at the same time not completely. This is perfect!”

Commenter Shane Millsom broke down the general chaos that is the Xennial existence by pointing out that we started high school with encyclopedias and card catalogs but came of age with the internet and cell phones. He noted that we were raised with old-school morals but were the first generation since the industrial revolution not to become wealthier than our parents. Millsom also wrote that we were raised to be environmentalists but have a healthy dose of skepticism, and observed that like Gen Xers, we love straight no-nonsense answers, but we accept everyone as equals like millennials.

The passion in Millsom's comment captures everything Xennials feel. We were raised to believe we could conquer the world with a college education and hard work ethic, then were quickly disillusioned when student loan bills came rolling in. We in-betweeners are just that—in between. Xennials encompass the best of two generations and that’s not a bad thing, we embrace it.

I'm still impatiently waiting on Merriam-Webster to give us this one. Don’t make me start a petition.

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Modern Families

Fed up parents explain why they 'never want to bring the kids over' to visit

Can't you guys come to us for once?

Photo by Johnny Cohen on Unsplash

It's a good news/bad news situation for parents of young kids.

The good news? Everyone wants to spend time with the kids! Grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends. They all want a relationship and lots of special moments with the little ones.

The bad news? One phrase:

"When are you bringing them over?"

Parents have been frustrated by the expectations of orchestrating stressful visits for generations — loading the kids in a car or on an airplane only to spend hours chasing them around in an un-baby-proofed environment and watching routines go to hell.

Now they're sounding off on social media and airing their grievances.

Why visiting grandparents and other relatives is so challenging for parents

A mom recently took to Reddit to vent about everyone in her life wanting her to "bring the kids to them."

"My parents live 30 mins away and always bug me about not coming to visit them," she writes. They constantly ask, "Why don't you bring our granddaughter to come see us?"

The fascinating discussion highlights a few things that make arranging visits with young kids a potential nightmare for parents.

Grandparents' houses are rarely childproofed

Grandparents love their breakable decor! Ceramic doo-dads, glass vases everywhere. They can't get enough. And while they should be able to decorate their house however they see fit (they've earned the right!) that doesn't make it a good environment for toddlers and babies.

Ceramic bowlsThe breakable decor found in every grandparents' houseozalee.fr/Flickr

"Last week was the last straw, I took my daughter to my parents and of course she went EVERYWHERE! flooded their toilet, broke a vase, and tried multiple times to climb their furniture," the Reddit mom writes.

Parents in a foreign environment are on constant safety duty and can rarely sit down

Let's be honest. Sometimes these "visits" are hardly worth the effort. After all, it's hard to get much catch up time when you're dutifully chasing your kid around.

"They don’t understand that my 3 yo ... is absolutely wild," writes another user in the thread. "She has no self preservation and nothing we do works. She doesn’t listen, she throws, she bites, she refuses to use the potty. It’s exhausting and then ... they expect us to entertain them, when I’m trying to just keep my kid from jumping off the stairs and into an ER visit."

Even just putting the kids in the car for a 20-minute drive is more work than it seems

Taking the kids out of the house requires packing a bag, bringing extra clothes, loading up on snacks, etc.

It seems easy to "pop over" but it actually absorbs the majority of the day between prep, visit, and aftermath.

Naps and routines go to hell

Parents with babies and toddlers know all too well — there is a price to pay for taking the kids out of the house for too long.

Chances are, the baby won't nap in a strange environment and then you're stuck with a cranky kid the rest of the night.

Kids with special needs require even more consistency

Kids with autism or ADHD can really struggle outside of their zone of safety. They might become severely dysregulated, have meltdowns, or engage in dangerous behaviors.

Explaining and mediating the generational divide

man in gray sweater sitting beside woman in black and white floral long sleeve shirt Photo by Tim Kilby on Unsplash

Why is this a conflict almost all parents can relate to?

Is this a Boomer vs Millennials thing?

Some experts think that generational values and traditions might play a role.

"Many Boomers were accustomed to more traditional, hierarchical family dynamics, where visiting grandparents was a way for the younger generation to show respect," says Caitlin Slavens, a family psychologist.

But that's not to say this is a new problem. I can remember my own parents driving me and my brothers over an hour to visit my grandparents seemingly every other weekend, but very few occasions where they came to visit us. It must have driven my parents nuts back then!

Plus, it's easy to forget that it's hard for older people to travel, too. They may have their own issues and discomforts when it comes to being away from their home.

"But for today’s parents, balancing careers, kids’ routines, and the demands of modern parenting is a much bigger undertaking. Grandparents might not always see how childproofing their space or making the trip themselves could make a huge difference, especially considering how travel and disruption can impact younger kids' moods and routines," Slavens says.

"So yes, this divide often comes down to different expectations and life experiences, with older generations potentially not seeing the daily demands modern families face."

Is there any hope for parents and grandparents coming to a better understanding, or a compromise?

"First, open conversations help bridge the divide—explain how much of a difference it makes when the kids stay in a familiar space, especially when they’re very young," suggests Slavens.

"Share practical details about the challenges, like childproofing concerns or travel expenses, to help grandparents see it from a parent’s perspective. You might even work together to figure out solutions, like making adjustments to create a more child-friendly space in their home or agreeing on a shared travel plan."

Ultimately, it's a good thing when grandparents, friends, and other relatives want to see the kids.

We all have the same goal.

"It’s helpful to approach the topic with empathy, focusing on everyone’s goal: more quality time together that’s enjoyable and low-stress for everyone involved. For parents, it’s about setting boundaries that work, and for grandparents, it’s about recognizing that flexibility can really show the parents that you are ... willing to make adjustments for their children and grandchildren."

Enjoyable, low-stress quality time — that's something everyone can get behind.

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Joy

Men weigh in on the male equivalent of 'women's clothes don't have pockets'

"Why can’t I get a health/hygiene product that isn’t labeled something like 'grizzly bear fist fight sleep strips for tough men'?"

Photo credit: Canva

""Women’s products smell like things while men’s products smell like concepts."

Few moments make a woman's face light up than the moment she realizes a dress she's trying on has pockets. It's such a simple thing, but it's like a whole world of possibilities opens up as soon as she slides her hands into those pockets and spins.

That's because women's clothes of all kinds so often don't have pockets. Even pants that look like they have pockets don't actually have pockets half the time, or the pocket is so tiny you can't even squeeze a quarter into it. And there's no real reason for this baffling reality for women—but is there an equivalent complaint for men?

Men were asked to weigh in on the male equivalent of "Why do women's clothes not come with pockets?" and a surprising number weighed in.

Why do men's products have vague, hyper-masculine names?

If something is made for men, it can't just be named what it is. It has to be over-the-top manly sounding.

"Why can’t I get a health/hygiene product that isn’t labeled something like 'grizzly bear fist fight sleep strips for tough men'?"

"'Dude Wipes' that cost double what a generic wet wipe costs. I don't get how anyone justifies that kind of wasteful spending these days."

"Strongman Righteous Fury Personal Cleansing Wipes."

"Right?! What focus group decided I wanted to smell like a bear's leather glove? Why is the bear wearing gloves to begin with? Was it going to do crime? I'm really not the criming type."

"Women’s products smell like things while men’s products smell like concepts."

via GIPHY

"You mean you don't want to, 'smell like naval diplomacy'?"

"Yeah it's annoying. Soap marketed for women usually has what it smells like right on the bottle, while soap for men do not. When the bottle says 'XTREME ARCTIC SPORT' or 'HYDRA ENERGETIC' I have no idea what to expect."

"I use Old Spice 'Fiji and palm tree.' No idea what either of those smell like in real life, but at least the words resemble actual smells."

Why is men's formal wear oh-so-hot?

Not the good kind of hot—the sweating-at-a-wedding kind of hot.

"Men’s formal wear is really hot. Like if we go to a fancy wedding in the summer, I’m in a suit and tie, my wife is in a tiny dress."

"Was in an August wedding, 30+ celsius outside, bride wanted all the groom's party in wool suits. That day was hell."

"Yep. Undershirt, then dress shirt, then vest, then suit jacket."

"it really sucks at summer funerals. at least at a wedding its not like super rude to take your jacket off and roll your sleeves up."

"It's not just formal wear. Men don't have any short clothes that are 'acceptable' as more than casual wear. In offices, women can wear skirts when it's hot out. Men have no equivalent - they just have to sit there sweating with pants on."

via GIPHY

"Women like it warm but their formal clothes are skimpy.

Men like it cool but their formal clothes have many layers.

Seems like it should be the other way around. Suit jackets and tuxedos for women, sheer dresses for men."

Why such a lack of variety in men's clothing overall?

Women seem to have infinite choices when it comes to style, color, etc. Men's fashion is much more limited, both in variety and quantity.

"The lack of variety for mens clothing in stores. Women's clothing will fill up 90% of the store while men get a tiny closed off section like here ya go guys"

"In the back of the store, next to the clearance aisle and the bathrooms."

"If the shop has multiple floors, it's always the one furthest from the ground floor. Usually the men's section also has to share the floor with the kid's and home decor sections!"

via GIPHY

"For some reason, I always seem to find the men's section right next to shoes, which is usually 90% women's shoes. And the women's shoe section is still larger than the entire men's clothing section."

"Also in gym clothes. I feel like women has a vast variety in all kinds of colors and patterns that look amazing.

Men can pick between black, gray, navy blue, and white. And definitely no patterns at all."

"Sometimes there is green. Also, there might be both light gray and dark gray."

Why do clothing manufacturers assume men grow out as they grow up?

People come in all sizes regardless of gender, but since men's clothing styles are more limited, their sizing issues are notable.

"Stores assuming that if you're over 6 feet tall, you must also be 6 feet wide."

"This is the bane of my existence. Especially for work uniforms. If I go medium-sized shirt, it's way too small. If I get a large, then it looks like I'm wearing a parachute."

"Men's shirts get wider with each size but not longer."

"Similarly, if your shoulders are wider, your gut must be bigger."

via GIPHY

"And the sleeve length to size ratio is all over the place. Trying shirt on and it's a little snug and the cuffs are in the middle of your forearms. Go up a size and the torso fits but the sleeves dangle at your knees... or they still don't reach your wrists."

"Yes. The men’s shirt paradox.

-Long enough

- Wide enough

- Sleeves/cuffs the correct length

(Pick any 2, but you never get all 3)."

Men added other things as well, such as jewelry options for men being boring, men's dress shoes having zero traction whatsoever (same goes for women's dress shoes, to be fair), men's bathrooms not coming with changing tables, and how annoying non-elongated toilets are. Women have far more things than "clothes without pockets" they could add to a list as well, which just highlights how hilariously absurd some of these gender-based constructs are.



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Health

Conflict expert shares the 1 phrase you can use to stop an argument from happening

It'll make people agree with you, too.

via Canva/Photos

A guy having a collaborative conversation.

The quickest way to stop having a constructive dialog with someone is when they become defensive. This usually results in them digging in their heels and making you defensive. This can result in a vicious cycle of back-and-forth defensive behavior that can feel impossible to break. Once that happens, the walls go up, the gloves come off and resolving the situation becomes tough.

Amanda Ripley, author of “High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out,” says in her book that you can prevent someone you disagree with from becoming defensive by being curious about their opinion.

Ripley is a bestselling author and the co-founder of Good Conflict, a media and training company that helps people reimagine conflict.

How to have a constructive conversation

Let’s say you believe the room should be painted red and your spouse says it should be blue. Instead of saying, “I think blue is ugly,” you can say, “It’s interesting that you say that…” and ask them to explain why they chose blue.

The key phrase is: “It’s interesting that you say that…”


conversation, arguments, communication tipsPeople coming to an agreement. via Canva/Photos

When you show the other person that you genuinely care about their thoughts and appreciate their reasoning, they let down their guard. This makes them feel heard and encourages them to hear your side as well. This approach also encourages the person you disagree with to consider coming up with a collaborative solution instead of arguing to defend their position.

It’s important to assume the other person has the best intentions while listening to them make their case. “To be genuinely curious, we need to refrain from judgment and making negative assumptions about others. Assume the other person didn’t intend to annoy you. Assume they are doing the best they can. Assume the very best about them. You’ll appreciate it when others do it for you,” Kaitlyn Skelly at The Ripple Effect Education writes.

Phrases you can use to avoid an argument

The curiosity approach can also involve affirming the other person’s perspective while adding your own, using a phrase like, “On the one hand, I see what you’re saying. On the other hand…”

Here are some other phrases you can use:

“I wonder if…”

“It’s interesting that you say that because I see it differently…”

“I might be wrong, but…”

“How funny! I had a different reaction…”

“I hadn’t thought of it like that! For me, though, it seems…”

“I think I understand your point, though I look at it a little differently…”


conversation, arguments, communication tipsTwo men high-fiving one another.via Canva/Photos

What's the best way to disagree with people?

A 2016 study from Yale University supports Ripley’s ideas. The study found that when people argue to “win,” they take a hard line and only see one correct answer in the conflict. Whereas those who want to “learn” are more likely to see that there is more than one solution to the problem. At that point, competition magically turns into collaboration.

“Being willing to hear out other perspectives and engage in dialogue that isn’t simply meant to convince the other person you’re right can lead to all sorts of unexpected insights,” psychologist and marketing Professor at Southern Methodist University tells CNBC.

In a world of strong opinions and differing perspectives, curiosity can be a superpower that helps you have more constructive conversations with those with whom you disagree. All it takes is a little humility and an open mind, and you can turn conflict into collaboration, building bridges instead of walls.

relationships
Mental Health

Woman shares genius hack to turning a bad day around. It's easy and free.

Leave the world a better place.

Photo credit: Canva

Having a bad day? Try this easy hack to turn it around.

Having a bad day or even week is inevitable if you're a conscious human on planet earth. Bad days have no age limit or gender. They happen to the best of us even when we're doing our best to keep everything running as smoothly as possible. But the universe isn't set up to allow anyone to have complete control over everything happening in their lives. It will rain on someone's wedding day and Alanis Morissette will sing all about it.

You will will spill coffee on your shirt right before an interview or your new puppy's potty accident will collide with your well meaning robot vacuum. There will always be one seemingly small inconvenience that sets off a chain of events solidifying you in the bad day category. But when that happens, how do you turn it around?

One woman has found a simple solution to hack the bad day blues and it just may work for you when you're having a glum day as well.

Gigi Peache has been open about her struggles with different mental illnesses including severe bouts of depression so the Aussie is no stranger to bad days. After a more recent encounter with sadness, Peache did what she has done for quite a while, but this time she decided to share her secret in hopes to help others.

woman looking at the floor Photo by Tiago Bandeira on Unsplash

"Do you ever have a bad day? Because I have a lot of bad days and this is one thing I like to do when I'm having a bad day and it's come to my attention that other people don't do it because whenever I say it out loud they're like, 'oh, what?' And I really want to share it with you because I think it'll be beneficial because it's a nice way to put something positive back out into the universe," the woman says before further explaining that it's a way of making the world a better place.

Already, whatever Peache is going to say sounds promising since most people do want to make the world a better place, even if it doesn't always feel like it. So if someone is giving you a simple key to make the world better while also pulling yourself out of a sadness slump, people might be inclined to listen.

a woman looking out of a window with blinds Photo by Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash

Peache then shares something so sweet she can't help to be giddy about it, "so what I like to do is, I like to call and leave a compliment. Where do I call? Anywhere I've been! If I've been to a cafe and the girl that served me just...she just did her job, I'm calling, I'm talking to the manager and I'm leaving a compliment. 'Kelly did an amazing job. I'm blown away."

Through giggles the woman shares that she doesn't care where she's been that week, if she's having a bad day she will think back to anywhere she's gone and leave a compliment with the manager. She says she even does this if has no idea what the person's name is.

"It's just a silly little thing and I know and I know some people when they're having a bad day they want to talk to the manager and they want to complain, but no no no no, turn it around. Call and leave a compliment," Peache says before adding. "For all we know, that person was this far away from getting a promotion and now they've got it. For all we know they were this far away from getting fired and now they're not."


@gigi.peache How to have a slightly better bad day 😇🥰🌻 #kindness #badday #mentalhealth #goodvibes ♬ original sound - Gigi Peache

People love the idea, with one person writing, "omg I love this , I try to compliment someone when I'm out shopping etc when I'm down but this is even better."

Another person shares, "this is a great idea, I love it! plus, managers DO tend to want to know positive feedback because customers are far more likely to take the effort to leave a complaint rather than a compliment!"

"I’m going to start doing this! Adding it to my MH [mental health] Toolbox now," someone else says.

woman in gray hoodie smiling Photo by Brian Wangenheim on Unsplash

"LOVE this idea and will definitely be trying it out! So much negativity in this world - positivity is the way to go," one person chimes in.

"This is the sweetest thing & such a good mood booster," another writes as someone else points out an alternative for those who don't care for phone calls, "also, leaving good Google reviews and putting in the employees name, if you're too anxious to call. That's great as well!"

This trick may seem like it's not a big deal or something that isn't going to work, but it's free to try and the worse that happens is you make someone else smile.

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Internet

Woman and her cat find bullet hole ridden minivan buried in backyard captivating the internet

The distraction that everyone needs.

Photo credit: Canva

Woman and her cat find buried car filled with bullet holes

Moving into a new home is almost always an exciting experience. You plan out what colors to paint the walls, how you want to decorate and even if you want to plant a garden or not. Most people purchase new homes that meet their needs for that period in their lives or their long term plans.

That's why when an Ohio woman purchased a new home she needed it to have enough acreage for her to have room for her horses to play and a pasture for them to graze. She thought she found the perfect place but there was a weird hill in her yard where she wanted to create a pasture for her horses. Upon inspecting the hill she noticed there was a tail light and part of a bumper sticking out so she grabbed a shovel. What transpires next has been captivating the internet for days.

The woman uploaded the initial video showing her discovery to social media under the screen name Nemo's Human. People were instantly invested in why a car was buried on the woman's property and why she was digging it up with a shovel without police assistance. Only equipped with her shovel and cat, it took the woman a couple of days to dig out the surface of the vehicle which appears to be covered in bullet holes raising concern among viewers.


@radagast09 I found a car buried on my land so there's that #car #weird #fyp ♬ original sound - Nemo's human

But the homeowner doesn't seem at all upset about the holes in the vehicle, "there's definitely holes in this car, so maybe they used to shoot at the car. Like maybe they used it for target practice or something, but yeah, I'm definitely finding some holes in it."

At this point in the digging process the woman still couldn't identify the make and model of the vehicle which prompted CARFAX to chime in with their best guess. After some back and forth it was determined that the car was a Dodge Caravan, though people were more worried about the bullet holes and what seems to be charred earth around where the woman is digging. It doesn't take a forensic scientist to start to wonder if foul play might have been the reason for the buried car.


@radagast09 Update: Still digging. I thought I figured out what kind of car it is, but I did not. #cartok #rugtok #buriedcar ♬ original sound - Nemo's human

This isn't the first suspicious item that has been unearthed on TikTok holding the attention of millions and several people harkened back to just a few weeks prior as this new mystery was uncovered.

"Rug lady 'the rug is in the ground I can’t dig it up myself' Car lady 'I’m going to dig this whole car up by myself'," someone laughs.


@radagast09 Apparently some people missed Tom, so he's in this one 😻 #buriedcar ♬ original sound - Nemo's human

Another person compares the two women's completely different attitudes towards their discoveries in their backyards, "rug lady: it's a dead body haunting my house.... car lady: oh it's just an old car nothing suspicious here(ignoring gloves, bullet holes, the fact that it's buried...lol)."

Still people were quite worried that the woman was about to dig up more that she is anticipating and try to warn her of just that, saying, "I love the innocence of your theory! But my mind is going in a completely different direction. I feel like it would’ve been easier to haul away. Those are big bullet holes. I wouldn’t be surprised if there are human remains in there. IJS."


@radagast09 The car is no longer buried in my back yard but I do kind of wish I never noticed it in the first place #buriedcar #rugtok #cartok ♬ original sound - Nemo's human

It seems junior internet sleuths are the only people already jumping to that conclusion since the woman called law enforcement who surmised the same scenario she had–target practice. That is a possibility, especially in a rural area. Either way the police have no intention of coming out to excavate the vehicle from it's resting place in order to investigate. Instead the woman is to give the local police a ring when she gets a vin number, until then it's a woman, her cat and a shovel.

After more than a week, heavy machinery rental and keeping social media abuzz, the van is now finally fully unearthed. Much to everyone's relief there was nothing inside that would indicate a crime has occurred outside of the van being full of cinder blocks and the vin nowhere to be found. Turns out the car was essentially covering up a makeshift landfill so the woman's yard is not only filled with pieces from the buried car but trash that the previous owners decided to leave behind. Now that's a buried treasure nobody wants but it sure was a much needed fun distraction.

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