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What do women do when no one is watching? These images sum it up nicely.

Realness is key in Sally Nixon's work.

illustration of woman eating cake at kitchen counter
Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

The wonderfully real world of women.

woman in striped orange shirt sipping soda through a straw against leafy background
Nixon's insight is simple and beautiful.Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

Well, take a look at Sally Nixon's illustrations and you'll see.

illustration of women looking at movies in a video store

Just girly things.

Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

The subjects in her artwork aren't aware we're looking at them.

woman sits on a bench and stares at her phone in a mall

Unbothered.

Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

And that's the point. They're living in a world free from the pressures that exist in the real one.

illustration of women relaxing on a blanket outside eating donuts

Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

"I like drawing girls doing their everyday routine—just hanging out, not worried about what others are thinking," Nixon told Upworthy. "They're usually alone or with other girls. Their guard is down."

Editor's note: An image below contains partial nudity.

Capturing her subjects in this liberated light wasn't intentional at first, she explained.

woman sits on the toilet with her dog beside her

Mundane moments.

Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

But when she started a 365-day challenge in April in 2015 to create one art piece a day, the work started reflecting the nuances of her own life away from prying eyes— "I was kind of like, 'Oh, I'm brushing my teeth, so I'll draw that."— and a theme began to form. Her illustrations show how women look, away from the exhausting world where they're often judged more harshly than men.

illustrations of women having lunch outside against a red tile wall

Enjoying a drink.

Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

You also might notice none of the girls in her illustrations are smiling.

illustration of woman in her underwear sitting at the table spreading jam on bread

Because women aren't constantly smiling when they're on their own.

Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

According to Nixon, that's a deliberate choice.

"I don't sit around smiling to myself," Nixon said, noting the double standard that exists in thinking women should always appear cheerful. "I've been told, 'You need to smile more.' It's so infuriating. I wanted to show the way girls actually look, comfortably."

illustration of woman from the shoulders down standing at her open fridge

These works aim to capture slices of every day life, not posed moments.

Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

The theme of friendship is also an important one in Nixon's drawings.

illustration of two women sitting together on a couch with wine and cheese

In community.

Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

“I have four older sisters, so female friendship has always been a big part of my life," Nixon told The Huffington Post in 2016. “You gotta have someone to talk about periods with, and dudes just don't get it."

illustration of woman napping with her dog on her couch

Sometimes reality is a nap on the couch with your pup.

Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

Creating relatable scenes was key to Nixon, too — from the details of women's lives to the physical shapes of their bodies.

illustration of partially naked woman putting on pantyhose

Hidden moments and natural bodies.

Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

“It's important that the women I draw aren't rail thin with huge boobs," Nixon said. “I think there are enough images of bodies like that out in the world. The ladies I draw typically have small-ish, droopy breasts and thick thighs. They're kind of lumpy but in an attractive way. Just like real people."

The women in Nixon's work aren't real, but she hopes their stories are.

illustration of woman eating cake at kitchen counter

Let women eat cake.

Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

"One of my absolute favorite comments [on my work] is, 'Oh my God, it's me!'" she explained of the depictions. "There's a little bit of beauty in [everyday life] and I wanted to bring that out."

You can view more of Nixon's artwork on her website and check out her prints for purchase on Etsy.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.






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Enter this giveaway for a free, fun date! 🌊 💗

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We asked people what they really enjoy that others can't understand. One answer dominated.

Interestingly, research shows that these people are particularly unlikely to be neurotic.

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Some people really enjoy being alone.

We recently asked our Upworthy audience on Facebook, "What's something that you really enjoy that other people can't seem to understand?" and over 1,700 people weighed in. Some people shared things like housework, cleaning and laundry, which a lot of people see as chores. Others shared different puzzles or forms of art they like doing, and still others shared things like long car rides or grocery shopping.

But one answer dominated the list of responses. It came in various wordings, but by far the most common answer to the question was "silent solitude." Here are a few examples:

"Feeling perfectly content, when I’m all alone."

"Being home. Alone. In silence."

"That I enjoy being alone and my soul is at peace in the silence. I don't need to be around others to feel content, and it takes me days to recharge from being overstimulated after having an eventful day surrounded by others."

"Enjoying your own company. Being alone isn’t isolating oneself. It’s intentional peace and healthy… especially for deep feelers/thinkers."

Spending time by ourselves is something some of us relish, while some of us hate being alone. Naturally, this points to the common theory of introversion vs. extraversion, but in some ways, that's overly simplistic. Even the most peopley people among us can enjoy some quality alone time, and not all introverts see time alone as truly enjoyable. (It might be necessary for an introvert's well-being, but not necessarily something they truly revel in.)

Interesting, studies have found that people who enjoy being alone are not any more or less extraverted than those who don't, though they do tend to be less "sociable." They are also less likely to be neurotic (tense, moody, worrying types) than the generally population and more likely to be open-minded. Those characteristics are the opposite of what social norms often tell us about people who want to be alone.

"If our stereotypes about people who like being alone were true, then we should find that they are neurotic and closed-minded. In fact, just the opposite is true," writes Bella DePaulo, PhD.

There may be lots of reasons some people like to spend time by themselves while others don't. We are naturally social creatures and need social interaction, but some of us find ourselves overstimulated by being around other people all the time. On the flip side, some people find being alone not just unenjoyable, but extremely uncomfortable, which can be a problem.

"Ideally, we should be comfortable with ourselves, alone or with others," writes psychologist Tara Well Ph.D.. "If you are uncomfortable being alone, it means you are uncomfortable being with yourself without distraction, engagement, or affirmation from others. This can be a liability in life. If you cannot be alone, you may stay in situations or make life choices that aren’t good for you in the long run, like staying in a job or a relationship, mainly because you can’t tolerate being alone while transitioning to a better situation."

Dr. Well also points out that people can make the most of their alone time, even if it's not something they naturally enjoy. One way is to make it purposeful, setting aside a little time daily to write in a journal, meditate, go for a walk or otherwise engage your mind and body in some form of reflection. Another is to pay attention to self-judgments that might make alone time uncomfortable and challenge them with some compassionate confrontation and counteraction with positive thoughts about yourself.

Alone time can be refreshing and rewarding, especially if it's something you naturally crave. Some people even like to take themselves out on dates or enjoy traveling by themselves. That kind of self-care can be just as important as connecting with others for our overall health and well-being. Being alone doesn't mean being a loner and it doesn't mean being lonely. Some of us genuinely like having quality time with ourselves, whether it makes sense to other people or not.


This article originally appeared last year.

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New mom films emotional message on her last day of maternity leave with twins

"I just don't feel ready physically and mentally."

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Taking time off after having a baby is full of paradoxes. It can be strange, and a little boring and monotonous. It's jarring, especially for a busy career-oriented person, to suddenly be at home all the time doing laundry, dishes, and taking the occasional stroller walk. There's a part of you that gets restless and can't wait for it to be over. And that's why it's weird when dread kicks in the moment you realize your leave is almost up.

For many mothers, it can be hard to let go of that time with your baby — time you never really get back. Or, in some cases, babies.

One new mom of twins recently discussed the complicated emotions she was feeling on her very last day of maternity leave.


person's hand holding baby feet Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash

TikTok user Marissa Jeanne couldn't hold back her tears as she held her babies and tried to describe the emotional toll she was facing on the eve of her return to work.

“Today is my last day of maternity leave, and I go back to work tomorrow. And I just feel like I haven't had enough time with them," she began bluntly.

“I know I got longer than a lot of women get with three months, but I just don't feel ready physically and mentally. I feel like there's so much that you think that you are going to do on maternity leave. I think you're going to accomplish so many things and do so many things with your babies. And then here I am at the end and I'm like, ‘I didn't do any of that,' but I feel like I did do a lot of this and that's one of the most important things,” she says of cuddling her sleeping babies.

“I think the hardest part is it's just like such an abrupt change that you're with your babies all the time, and then you pick them up from daycare and you might just get a few hours with them. So that's just such an abrupt change, and it's really hard.”

Moms often get pigeonholed once their babies come into the world. People assure them that their priorities will shift and they'll probably stop caring about their career (a bias sometimes called the 'maternal wall' that causes all kinds of problems when it comes to hindering moms in their work). Marissa perfectly explained how it's possible, and quite common, to want both things at once — even if it's hard.

“I also love my career. I am proud of what I do, but there's always that mom guilt of you're not giving enough time to your kids, but you can't do it all. You can't give 100% to everything. I think that's something important to remember,” she says.

“I just feel so honored to be their mom and to have gotten the past three months with them. So I'm really grateful for that. For all the working moms out there, you're amazing. Yeah, you can't do it all, but you're doing the best that you can for your kids and that's all that matters.”

Watch the whole video from Marissa's TikTok here:

@marissa_jeanne

Last day of maternity leave and I am a mess. There’s nothing that prepares you for this day in your postpartum journey. #maternityleave #maternityleaveover #postpartumjourney #pospartum #3monthspostpartum #backtowork #workingmom #workingmoms #workingmomstruggles #twinmom

People in the comments were quick to point out: It doesn't have to be this way.

"Maternity leave in the US is way too short," one user wrote.

"Our instincts want us to say with the babies," said another.

"This breaks my heart! It's so unnatural for a mom to be separated from her tiny babies," added another user.

One person noted that since Marissa had twins, she should technically get double the time off. Hard to argue that one!

Other users were quick to share examples of how parental leave in other countries puts the US to shame.

In Germany, parents can take up to three years of leave without losing their jobs! It's unpaid, but parents may apply for an allowance from the government during that time, even if they had no prior income.

In Romania, parents are entitled to 126 days of leave at 85% of their prior pay.

Maternity leave in the UK can be up to a whopping 52 weeks, with 39 of those weeks being paid (starting at 90% of their average earnings and decreasing after 6 weeks). Canada? 15 weeks of paid leave (at only 55% pay, but still!) and an additional unpaid 35 weeks after that.

When you list it out like that, 3 months of unpaid leave is absolutely pathetic. But as Marissa's reaction points out, it's not just the pay.

First, there's the physical toll. Recovering from giving birth could take 6-8 weeks at a minimum, but probably much, much longer. So we're sending moms back to work when they've just barely gotten back on their feet.

And then, even worse, there's the emotional. When your babies are just a few weeks old, you're still deep in the bonding phase, and it's unimaginably jarring to have to cut it so short and drop them off at daycare so you can go back to work so soon. Plus, about 15% of moms will have postpartum depression, which can last for several years. And a whopping 85% will deal with the "baby blues" — hormonal fluctuations that occur after giving birth for several weeks and cause anxiety, crying, and temporary depression.

Most people would agree that 3 months is just really fast to be separated from brand new babies.

It's just sad that moms who work don't get a choice. If you're not ready to go back in 3 months, there's no guarantee that you could extend your leave and keep your job. Even if your family could handle the financial strain of a longer unpaid leave period, it's just not an option for most people. It makes new parents feel cornered and scared, and frustrated by a system that's setting them up to fail.

Luckily, things are steadily getting a little bit better, with more states adopting paid leave policies and more individual employers getting on board. Let's keep the momentum going, because we've got a long way to go.

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Busy mom overcome with emotion when elderly man says the perfect thing to her

He chose positivity and it made all the difference.

via Canva/Photos

A happy mother and her smiling child.

Parents of newborns know they are in the middle of a joyous and stressful era. But far too often, the people they run into choose to frame things negatively when talking to them about their young child. They’ll say things like, “Don’t worry, it gets better” or “Boy, do you have your hands full.”

That’s why Steph Morrison's video on TikTok touched so many hearts. It’s about the fantastic things that can happen when people choose to see things in a positive light instead of a negative one.

“The sweetest thing just happened,” Morrison begins in her video. “I was just finishing my walk and we were just pulling down our street and this old man, he stopped so we could walk by because we’ve got the double-wide stroller that takes up the whole space, and he goes ‘Wow! You’re going to have a lot of fun.’"

The comment blindsided Morrison because it reframed how she looks at being a parent.

@_stephmorrison_

I never would have guessed what the man would say nor did I ever predict tears would roll down my face like they did. Thankful for this sweet glimmer from God 🫶🏼✨ #momspiration #momsoftiktok #momsover30 #quotesforyou #momquotes #postpartumjourney #postpartumlife #happywords #happinessbegins #creatorsearchinsights

“I don’t know why I’m getting emotional telling you now. But most people say, ‘You’ve got your hands full’ and it’s my biggest pet peeve, but he was so sweet and I could, like, see the memories flash through his eyeballs as he said that to me: ‘You’re going to have a lot of fun.’”

“Like, dang! That’s the type of vibe and energy I’m going to bring to motherhood,” she continued. “I was having a really great time with the kids already, so I don’t know why I’m crying while telling you this. But if you’re a mother out there, I hope you’re having a lot of fun, too, because why not?”

Everyone knows that parenting can be hard. But it’s also filled with joy, laughter, hope, possibilities and new experiences. The elderly man’s comments were a great reminder to Morrison and her followers to focus on the joy and possibilities of being a parent instead of the challenges and hard work.



The video struck a chord with mothers in the comments who shared similar experiences.

“An older man in the grocery store stopped me when my son was 8 months old and said, ‘Young enough to still talk to the angels, put in a good word for me!’” Rachel wrote. “My only son is 7 months old. I can’t have any more kids due to life-threatening complications at birth. The other day, a man said to me, ‘He gets to have you all to himself. Isn’t that so special?’” Happy_Gilmoree added.

CaitlinPrice25 hit the nail on the head. “Society makes us feel like kids are a burden,” she wrote. “Just a little change of perspective can make all the difference.”

A positive mindset can make life much easier for parents, but it’s also great for their children. Children look to their parents and model their behavior; those with a positive attitude are likely to raise happy, optimistic children. “A mother’s ability to model positivity becomes a powerful tool in shaping a child’s character, fostering qualities such as kindness, compassion, and a positive outlook on life,” The Motherhood Center in Houston, Texas, writes.

The story also reminds everyone, whether they are parents or not, of the importance of leading with positivity when dealing with others. The man could have said something cliché such as “I hope you’re getting enough sleep,” but instead, he reminded Morrison of the joy of parenting, and she made his remark her north star. That’s the power of positivity.

This article originally appeared last year.

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2 years before ChatGPT, a kids cartoon warned us about the environmental impacts of AI

Kids should know what AI can and can't do, and what it really costs. Doc McStuffins is on the case.

Disney Jr./YouTube, Unsplash

My 4-year-old watches so much Doc McStuffins that the show has basically become white noise in my household. It's the only thing she'll watch, so when it's on in the background, I barely notice — outside of the absurdly catchy songs living rent-free in my head 24/7. But the other day, she was watching one particular episode when I half tuned in just to see what the plot was.

If you don't have kids in this age bracket, Doc McStuffins is a 10-year-old girl who helps fix up broken toys. It's a really cute show with sweet messages on acceptance, accessibility, imagination, caring, and more. But the episode in question seemed to have a lot more going on plot-wise than the usual, so I sat down and watched a little more. And pretty soon I was hooked into a fascinating story about the climate dangers of Artificial Intelligence and automation. I couldn't believe it!

'The Great McStuffins Meltdown' explained

Season 5, Episode 13. Doc McStuffins, in the previous season, has stopped running her toy-doctoring practice out of her childhood home and now works at McStuffins Toy Hospital. In this episode, it has received a major upgrade with lots of fancy new equipment.

The new machines do a lot of the work that Doc and her friends used to do around the hospital. There's a machine that plays with and encourages toy pets, a Cuddle Bot that cuddles sick toys, and even a Check-Up 3000 that gives routine medical care so the Doc herself can do other things. Doc and her friends are a little bored, and the patients aren't so sure about these new machines, but mostly, things are going pretty great. The hospital is able to help more toys, faster this way.

But oh no! Doc gets a distress call from her friends at the Toyarctic, a fictional frozen land where toys live. Chunks of ice have been breaking off their glaciers. The Toyarctic is melting!

Doc and her friends quickly figure out that the Toyarctic has gotten too warm, which is causing the ice to melt. And the culprit is McStuffins Hospital. With all the new automated machines running, the hospital is using too much power and overheating the power grid, which is causing the Toyarctic's climate to warm at a dangerous rate.

I mean... woah! Doc McStuffins definitely did not have to go this hard, but I respect it.

What fascinated me most was that this episode was released in 2020 — a full two years before ChatGPT became publicly available and the AI craze kicked into hyperdrive.

Disney Jr./YouTube

AI and climate change are both inevitable parts of our children's lives. It's crucial that they learn about them both from a young age.

AI is moving so fast and changing every day. It's also publicly available to people of all ages, and so many of us don't understand how it works very well. That's a dangerous combination. Teachers and college professors everywhere are bemoaning that more and more kids are using AI to write their papers and do their homework without ever learning the material.

And, of course, the even bigger elephant in the room is climate change, which will play a major role in our children's lives as they grow into adults. Parents are desperate for some way to help their kids understand how big of a deal it is. A report from This Is Planeted states "Nearly 70% of parents and caregivers surveyed in 2022 believed children’s media should include age-appropriate information about climate, and 74% agreed that children’s media should include climate solutions," but that less than 5% of the most popular children's shows and family films have any content or themes related to climate change.

(I'd be curious how much of the heavy lifting the GOAT Captain Planet is still doing!)

captain planet flyingGiphy

What's not being talked about enough — unless you're a McStuffins-head like my family is — is the relationship between AI and climate change.

In short: It's not good! AI seems like a quick and fun thing we can access on our phones and computers, but the massive data centers that perform the calculations behind this 'intelligence' consume staggering amounts of power and water, while generating heat and harmful emissions. Promises of more energy-efficient intelligence models, like DeepSeek, are murky at best.

Scientific American even writes that the environmental impact of AI goes far beyond its emissions and energy usage. What is it being used for? In many cases, to make things faster and bigger — including industries that can harm the Earth like logging, drilling, fast fashion.

I was so impressed that a show popular with children as young as 2 could tackle such an urgent and important topic.

Watching it together opened doors for us to begin age-appropriate conversations with both of our kids about AI, climate change, and how the two are related. Conversations that, I'm sure, we'll be continuing to have and build on for years to come.

To be fair, Artificial Intelligence can do some good things. You see this play out on the show. Initially, it does help the hospital treat more toys! And in the real world, for all the negative environmental effects, there are people out there trying to use AI to monitor emissions and create more energy-efficient practices that might ultimately help the planet.

In the end, Doc McStuffins and her friends decide to shut down the fancy automated machines at the hospital. Not only are they hurting the toys that live in the Toyarctic, they just aren't as good as the real thing. They don't always know the right questions to ask, they don't make the patients feel safe or cared for, and of course, their machine-cuddles don't come with any real warmth or love.

If nothing else, I hope that's the message that sticks with my kids long after they've outgrown this show.

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Research shows the more expensive your wedding, the lower the chances of living 'happily ever after'

Couples who save together, stay together.

via PixaBay

"I now pronounce you, in debt. You may kiss the bride."

In 1964, Paul McCartney of the Beatles famously sang, “I don’t care too much for money, money can’t buy me love.” While Mr. McCartney’s sentiments were definitely a major foreshadowing of the hippie, free-love movement that was to come in the ‘60s, it appears as though he was also onto a big truth that wouldn’t be proven for another 50 years.

10 years ago, researchers Hugo M. Mialon and Andrew Francis-Tan from Emory University embarked on the first study to determine whether spending a lot on a wedding or engagement ring meant a marriage would succeed or fail.

The pair wanted to see if the wedding industry was being honest when it came to claims that the more money a couple spends, the more likely they are to stay together.

“The wedding industry has consistently sought to link wedding spending with long-lasting marriages. This paper is the first to examine this relationship statistically,” the researchers wrote.

The researchers carried out online surveys with more than 3,000 ever-married people living in the United States.

After reviewing the answers to the questionnaire the researchers learned that spending big bucks on a wedding and engagement ring made a couple more likely to get divorced. The researchers determined that "marriage duration is inversely associated with spending on the engagement ring and wedding ceremony."

Conversely, they found that "relatively low spending on the wedding is positively associated with duration among male and female respondents."

The researchers also found that the number of people who attend the wedding matters, too. The questionnaire revealed that “high wedding attendance and having a honeymoon (regardless of how much it cost) are generally positively associated with marriage duration."

The researchers haven’t studied why people who splurge on weddings and rings have a greater chance of having to hire divorce lawyers, but they have a few theories.

“It could be that the type of couples who have a … (cheap wedding) are the type that are a perfect match for each other,” Mialon told CNN. “Or it could be that having an inexpensive wedding relieves young couples of financial burdens that may strain their marriage,” he added.

Francis-Tan believes that people who have weddings with a large number of attendees are more successful because they have a lot of support.

“This could be evidence of a community effect, i.e., having more support from friends and family may help the couple to get through the challenges of marriage,” Francis-Tan said. “Or this could be that the type of couples who have a lot of friends and family are also the type that tend not to divorce as much.”

Could it also be that people who put a big emphasis on a flashy wedding and jewelry tend to bit a bit more materialistic? It makes sense that couples that are really into keeping up appearances may not have their properties straight when it comes to building a loving relationship.

To finish things off with another pop music analogy, “If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it,” (just make sure it’s an inexpensive one, in front of a lot of people, in your backyard).

This article originally appeared four years ago.

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