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Wellness

My father trafficked me throughout my entire childhood. It looked nothing like people think.

My father trafficked me throughout my entire childhood. It looked nothing like people think.
Melanie Cholish/Facebook

I saw this poster today and I was going to just let it go, but then I kept feeling tugged to say something.

Melanie Cholish/Facebook

While this poster is great to bring attention to the issue of child trafficking, it is a "shocking" picture of a young girl tied up. It has that dark gritty feeling. I picture her in a basement tied to a dripping pipe.

While that sounds awful, it's important to know that trafficking children in the US is not all of that. I can't say it never is—I don't know. What I do know is most young trafficked children aren't sitting in a basement tied up. They have families, and someone—usually in their family—is trafficking them.

I'm pretty open about my story. My father trafficked me from the ages of about 5 or 6 until I was a teenager. Knowing this, I can say, I was never once tied up in a dark place such as this picture. It's important for people to educate themselves on what trafficking can really look like.

Many, many times I walked into an amusement parks dressing room—Hershey, Dorney, etc.—with my father, told to wait in the stall, and a few minutes later another man came in acting like he was looking for his daughter. And that easily, a "drop" was made. Out I would walk holding his hand, nothing anyone would think twice about. Usually I'd be given something like an ice cream cone, etc.

And like me, these children are often not treated "badly." I mean, yes, they're treated awfully and violated beyond words. I mean they're are not hit, tied up, or beat up. Most of the time, they're treated with fake kindness (which really fucks up children's trust later on in life). But they're often praised, given treats, and made to feel like what is happening is a good (and normal or because they're special).

How many vacations we went on where I was left for a minute at the pool, until a man came and I left with him for a while. Airports where I was passed over to another man in a crowd, looking like any girl going from her dad or uncle to her dad or uncle. Again, a public drop and nothing suspicious.

Most children trafficked in the US are so conditioned they don't know anything else. It's their normal. I think back as an adult and think, "Why didn't I scream out for help? Make a scene?" But I had to forgive my inner child. There was no reason I knew to scream out for help. I wasn't in danger; this was just my normal life.

I say all of this to simply say, it's really important we bring attention to child trafficking in the US. VERY important. And posters like this can get the conversation going, but we also need to educate people that it doesn't all look like this. I lived in Robesonia, a tiny nothing town. My father was a little league coach. My mother knew and helped some with these happenings; and she was just a stay-at-home, small town mom. These things happen everywhere and can look very normal.

Best thing we can do is talk to children. We don't need to be graphic; but teachers, schools, need to talk to children about things like this in a child-safe way. Assume these children aren't being taken to doctors. Teachers can make a huge difference. Talk to children. Go with your gut. Schools need to not be scared to act on what they feel. Conrad Wesier had a social worker in the elementary school who pulled me out of class on more than one occasion after teachers noticed "things" and it went nowhere. Social services were never notified. And they should have been. Period.

And what you can do is watch. Pay attention. Be mindful. If you're waiting in line at a park, notice who goes in and out with what child. If you see something; speak up. If you're wrong, fine you ruined someone's day, apologize. If you're right, you saved someone's life.

This post originally appeared on Melanie Cholish's Facebook page. It has been edited lightly for publication.

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Joy

5 things that made us smile this week

Grab your tissues and read some seriously good news.

Grab your tissues and get ready for some seriously good news.

True

After a harrowing election season, we could all use an emotional pick-me-up. Thankfully, the internet never fails to deliver. Check out five uplifting stories we’ve found that made us smile this week.

Enjoy—and don't forget to share the love!

1. This toddler's adorable reaction

@vita.paskar This is when things start to get exciting 🥹 when they begin to understand! #fyp #christmas #target #toddler ♬ Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree - Brenda Lee

Victoria Paskar’s son Ellis had just been born last December, so when it came to appreciating the magic of the holiday season, it wasn't something he was really able to do. This year, however, that’s changed: In an adorable TikTok video, Paskar caught the moment when Ellis (now a toddler) notices the lit-up trees and holiday decorations. So magical and pure in every way.

2. More meals for seniors in need

Subaru - Share the Love Event and Meals on Wheels

Hunger is a national problem, and one that Subaru is helping to fix. Thanks to the Subaru Share the Love Event, Subaru has delivered more than 4.6 million meals and friendly visits to seniors facing hunger and isolation. Since 2008, Subaru is the largest automotive donor to Meals on Wheels—and they’re just getting started. With every new Subaru sale, Subaru and its retailers donate at least $300 to charities like Meals on Wheels.

3. This five-year-old piano prodigy brings down the house with Mozart

Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani wows audiences with his amazing musical talents.Pianoforte/Facebook

A clip of a five-year-old performing at the 10th International Music Competition in Italy is now going viral, and it’s no surprise why. To little to even reach the pedals with his feet, Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani still wows the audience with a masterful performance of a Mozart piece. According to his mother, Alberto had participated in seven national and international music competitions and won first place in all of them, all by the time he was four and a half. It’s like he’s channeling Amadeus himself.

4. An adopted man reunites with his bio mom and forms a "sweet" connection

Lenore Lindsey and Vamarr HunterABC 7 / YouTube

When 50-year-old Vamarr Hunter decided to take a genealogy test to find his biological mother, he had no idea how close he had already been to finding her. After a genealogy test, Hunter discovered that his mother, Lenore Lindsey, who had given him up for adoption as an infant, was actually the owner of “Give Me Some Sugar” in South Shore Chicago—Hunter’s favorite bakery. The two experienced an “immediate connection” after meeting, and after Lindsey suffered a stroke, Hunter stepped in to manage the bakery full-time. No, you’re crying.

5. A teacher uses AI to inspire her classroom

Now this is wholesome: An elementary teacher in Turkey named Gülümser Balci used artificial intelligence to create images of her students as their future selves in their dream jobs. Each kid is shocked and delighted to see themselves as adults, living out their dreams.

For more things that'll make you smile, check out all the ways Subaru is sharing the love this holiday season, here.

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Pets

Sorry, Labradors. After 31 years, America has a new favorite dog.

The American Kennel Club has crowned a new favorite.

via Pixabay

A sad-looking Labrador Retriever

The sweet-faced, loveable Labrador Retriever is no longer America’s favorite dog breed. The breed best known for having a heart of gold has been replaced by the smaller, more urban-friendly French Bulldog.

According to the American Kennel Club, for the past 31 years, the Labrador Retriever was America’s favorite dog, but it was eclipsed in 2022 by the Frenchie. The rankings are based on nearly 716,500 dogs newly registered in 2022, of which about 1 in 7 were Frenchies. Around 108,000 French Bulldogs were recorded in the U.S. in 2022, surpassing Labrador Retrievers by over 21,000.

The French Bulldog’s popularity has grown exponentially over the past decade. They were the #14 most popular breed in 2012, and since then, registrations have gone up 1,000%, bringing them to the top of the breed popularity rankings.

The AKC says that the American Hairless Terrier, Gordon Setter, Italian Greyhound and Anatolian Shepherd Dog also grew in popularity between 2021 and 2022.

The French Bulldog was famous among America’s upper class around the turn of the 20th century but then fell out of favor. Their resurgence is partly based on several celebrities who have gone public with their Frenchie love. Leonardo DiCaprio, Megan Thee Stallion, Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, Reese Witherspoon and Lady Gaga all own French Bulldogs.

The breed earned a lot of attention as show dogs last year when a Frenchie named Winston took second place at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show and first in the National Dog Show.

The breed made national news in early 2021 when Gaga’s dog walker was shot in the chest while walking two of her Frenchies in a dog heist. He recovered from his injuries, and the dogs were later returned.

They’ve also become popular because of their unique look and personalities.

“They’re comical, friendly, loving little dogs,” French Bull Dog Club of America spokesperson Patty Sosa told the AP. She said they are city-friendly with modest grooming needs and “they offer a lot in a small package.”

They are also popular with people who live in apartments. According to the AKC, Frenchies don’t bark much and do not require a lot of outdoor exercise.

The French Bulldog stands out among other breeds because it looks like a miniature bulldog but has large, expressive bat-like ears that are its trademark feature. However, their popularity isn’t without controversy. “French bulldogs can be a polarizing topic,” veterinarian Dr. Carrie Stefaniak told the AP.

american kennel club, french bulldog, most popular dog

An adorable French Bulldog

via Pixabay

French Bulldogs have been bred to have abnormally large heads, which means that large litters usually need to be delivered by C-section, an expensive procedure that can be dangerous for the mother. They are also prone to multiple health problems, including skin, ear, and eye infections. Their flat face means they often suffer from respiratory problems and heat intolerance.

Frenchies are also more prone to spine deformations and nerve pain as they age.

Here are the AKC’s top ten most popular dog breeds for 2022.

1 French Bulldogs

2 Labrador Retrievers

3 Golden Retrievers

4 German Shepherd Dogs

5 Poodles

6 Bulldogs

7 Rottweilers

8 Beagles

9 Dachshunds

10 German Shorthaired Pointers


This article originally appeared last year.

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Parenting

Bill Gates explains the ‘safest’ age to give a kid a cellphone

Sorry, kids.

Image from YouTube video/ Creative Commons/Attribution 3.0 Unported.

Bill Gates in conversation with The Times of India

Bill Gates sure is strict on how his children use the very technology he helped bring to the masses. In a recent interview with the Mirror, the tech mogul said his children were not allowed to own their own cellphone until the age of 14. "We often set a time after which there is no screen time, and in their case that helps them get to sleep at a reasonable hour," he said. Gates added that the children are not allowed to have cellphones at the table, but are allowed to use them for homework or studying.

The Gates children, now 20, 17 and 14, are all above the minimum age requirement to own a phone, but they are still banned from having any Apple products in the house—thanks to Gates' longtime rivalry with Apple founder Steve Jobs.

smartphones, families, responsible parenting, social media

Bill Gates tasting recycled water.

Image from media.giphy.com.

While the parenting choice may seem harsh, the Gates may be onto something with delaying childhood smartphone ownership. According to the 2016 "Kids & Tech: The Evolution of Today's Digital Natives"report, the average age that a child gets their first smartphone is now 10.3 years.

"I think that age is going to trend even younger, because parents are getting tired of handing their smartphones to their kids," Stacy DeBroff, chief executive of Influence Central, told The New York Times.

James P. Steyer, chief executive of Common Sense Media, a nonprofit organization that reviews content and products for families, additionally told the Times that he too has one strict rule for his children when it comes to cellphones: They get one when they start high school and only when they've proven they have restraint. "No two kids are the same, and there's no magic number," he said. "A kid's age is not as important as his or her own responsibility or maturity level."

PBS Parents also provided a list of questions parents should answer before giving their child their first phone. Check out the entire list below:

  • How independent are your kids?
  • Do your children "need" to be in touch for safety reasons—or social ones?
  • How responsible are they?
  • Can they get behind the concept of limits for minutes talked and apps downloaded?
  • Can they be trusted not to text during class, disturb others with their conversations, and to use the text, photo, and video functions responsibly (and not to embarrass or harass others)?
  • Do they really need a smartphone that is also their music device, a portable movie and game player, and portal to the internet?
  • Do they need something that gives their location information to their friends—and maybe some strangers, too—as some of the new apps allow?
  • And do you want to add all the expenses of new data plans? (Try keeping your temper when they announce that their new smartphone got dropped in the toilet...)


This article originally appeared seven years ago.

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Pets

Adopted puppy takes first walk with new family and digs up treasure worth nearly $8,000

He's a regular gold retriever.

pixabay.com

Lagotto romagnolo puppy.

Many a canine lover would agree that all dogs add value to our lives. But let’s face it, Ollie takes it to a whole new level. Adam Clark and Kim Mcguire of Blackpool, England, originally bought little Ollie as a surprise for their daughter Alice. However, it turns out they were in store for a lovely surprise as well.

Ollie is much more than an adorable face. His breed, the lagotto romagnolo, once used its keen sense of smell to hunt waterfowl in the wet marshlands of Italy, according to Dog Time. Here's an example of what a lagotto romagnolo looks like:

Cuteness at 110%.upload.wikimedia.org

Pretty much a teddy bear on four legs.

These pups are also natural diggers, and nowadays the only dogs bred specifically to hunt for truffles.

These talents came into play rather quickly when after only 10 minutes into his first family walk in the park, Ollie began to frantically dig into the soil.

Much to everyone’s surprise, Ollie dug up what appeared to be 15 sovereign coins, meaning pieces of gold that could date back as far as 1489.

puppy finds gold coins worth $8000

A gold sovereign.

www.publicdomainpictures.net

Clark took the coins to be examined by a reputable gold dealer, who not only deemed the coins legitimate, they valued them to be £5,943.96, equivalent to $7,564. It's not clear how much the family paid for Ollie, but it seems safe to say that they got their money back … and then some.

Though Ollie’s find is remarkable, Clark still finds his presence to be the ultimate gift. "The treasure is one thing, but the fact is, I've bought myself my very own gold hunter, and I cannot wait to take him out again," he told The U.S. Sun. "He is obviously a very special pup, and I'm thrilled with what he brings to the table — quite literally!"

And while lagotto romagnolos work really well for finding truffles (and potentially 19th century gold coins), they also make for great companions. Dog Time adds that they are easily trainable, good with children and their hypoallergenic coats keep allergies at bay, though they do require dedicated grooming. It's a pretty even trade-off for their undying affection and easy-going attitudes. Especially if they happen upon a small fortune!

There’s no real telling what other trinkets Ollie might dig up. But one thing’s for sure—he’s making his family very happy. And that is priceless.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Golden Years

13 side-by-side portraits of people over 100 with their younger selves

These powerful before-and-after photos reveal just how beautiful aging can be.

via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Jan Langer's incredible photos are timeless.

Czech photographer Jan Langer's portrait series "Faces of Century" shows them in a different light: as human beings aged by years of experience, but at their deepest level, unchanged by the passing of time. In the series, Langer juxtaposes his portraits with another portrait of the subject from decades earlier. He recreates the original pose and lighting as closely as he can — he wants us to see them not just as they are now, but how they have and haven't changed over time. That is the key to the series.

These are the rare faces of people who have lived through two world wars, a cavalcade of regimes, and the rush of advancements in modern life. These photos, and the stories of the lives lived by the people in them, show not only the beauty of aging, but how even as we age, we still remain essentially ourselves.


1. Prokop Vejdělek, at age 22 and 101

All photos by Jan Langer.

Vejdělek is a former metallurgical engineer who will never forget the taste of warm fresh goat's milk.

2. Bedřiška Köhlerová, at age 26 and 103

Originally born in Merano, Italy, Köhlerová wishes to visit Italy one more time.

3. Ludvík Chybík, at age 20 and 102

Chybík is a former postal carrier and says he will never forget the route he worked every day.

4. Vincenc Jetelina, at age 30 and 105

Jetelina spent eight years in prison after World War II. Now, he just wants to live the rest of his life in peace.

5. Marie Fejfarová, at age 101

Fejfarová burned all her material memories, including old photographs, when she decided to move to a long-term care facility. She lived a dramatic life, hiding from the Nazis and then the Russians, but eventually she was able to travel the world with her husband. Her experiences show there's no such thing as too late in life to start a new chapter.

6. Antonín Kovář, at age 25 and 102

Kovář is a former musician whose daughter comes to visit him every day. He wishes to play the clarinet once more.

7. Anna Vašinová, at age 22 and 102

Vašinová will always remember the day her husband was taken away by the Nazis. She wishes to be reunited with him after death.

8. Stanislav Spáčil, at age 17 and 102

Spáčil was an electrical engineer throughout his life and thinks that it's too early in his life to think about the past.

9. Anna Pochobradská, at age 30 and 100

Pochobradská was a farmer. She now lives a quiet life and is thankful that her daughter visits her every weekend.

10. Antonín Baldrman, at age 17 and 101

Baldrman was a clerk early in life and keeps up with current events by reading the newspaper.

11. Marie Burešová, at age 23 and 101

Burešová loves talking to her family and wishes to have them all together again.

12. Vlasta Čížková, at age 23 and 101

Čížková cooked in the dining room at the airport in the small village of Vodochody. She'll never forget reciting her own poetry at wedding ceremonies.

13. Ludmila Vysloužilová, at age 23 and 101

Vysloužilová stays active every day by chopping wood, shoveling snow, and doing work around her house.

The photographer Langer was initially inspired to document the lives of elderly people because of what he saw as the media's lack of coverage of them. He decided to focus on people over the age of 100 — a very rare demographic indeed. The 2010 U.S. Census reported only 53,364 centenarians, which is only 0.19% of the population of people 70 years or older.

“One should live every single moment according to their best knowledge and conscience because one day we will see clearly what has a real value," Langer says of what he learned from his subjects while photographing them.

The series was originally part of a story that Langer did for the Czech news outlet aktuálně.cz. You can see more photos from the portrait sessions by following the link.


This article originally appeared seven years ago.



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Health

Waking up at night to pee? 7 tips for ending frequent nighttime bathroom trips.

There's a name for this phenomenon that affects 50 million Americans.

Photo credit: Canva

Waking up to use the bathroom can take its toll.

We all know that getting a good night's sleep is a vital part of a healthy lifestyle, but someone might want to explain that to people's bladders. It's one thing to be woken up by a loud siren or your child crying or your cats tussling, but when your own body wakes you up to perform a basic function, it can feel like a betrayal.

Having to wake up to pee at night is a phenomenon known as "nocturia," and it's incredibly common, affecting some 50 million Americans. However, according to physical therapist and pelvic floor rehabilitation specialist Dr. Amanda Olson, only a small fraction of those affected by nocturia actually receive specialized treatment for it.

“Nocturia isn’t just a minor inconvenience," says Olson, who serves as President and Chief Clinical Officer of women's health product provider Intimate Rose. "Waking up multiple times in one night to use the bathroom significantly disrupts your sleep cycle, which, in turn, negatively impacts your physical and mental well-being. Beyond the immediate frustration of interrupted sleep, links have been found between nocturia and heightened risks for more serious health issues, including falls particularly among older adults." She points out that nocturia can impact mental well-being as well, "causing drowsiness, mood shifts, and diminished focus throughout the day." And if you sleep with a partner, they tend to experience disrupted sleep as well.

person awake at 2:00amNobody wants to be woken up at 2:00 a.m.Photo credit: Canva

Many people, including some healthcare providers, see nocturia as a normal sign of aging, but Olson explains that people don't need to just accept it. "We need to start treating nocturia not just as an inevitable nuisance but as a condition that can be addressed and managed," she says.

Here are Dr. Olson's tips for things people can do themselves at home to reduce or eliminate nighttime trips to the bathroom:

1. Limit Evening Fluid Intake

Managing your fluid intake, especially in the evening, can have a big impact on nocturia. “Try to avoid consuming large amounts of liquids within two hours of bedtime,” Dr. Olson advises. “Drinks containing caffeine, sparkling water, alcohol, and tea are all diuretics or bladder irritants that should be avoided, as they increase urine production and stimulate your bladder, making nighttime bathroom trips more likely.”

2. Empty Your Bladder Completely Before Bedtime

Create a bedtime routine that includes a final bathroom trip. Even if you don’t feel the urge to go, emptying your bladder before sleeping may reduce the chance of waking up at night.

“A useful technique is to rock back and forth or gently sway side to side once you’ve finished,” says Dr. Olson. “This movement helps ensure your bladder is fully emptied, decreasing the chances of needing to go again later.”

3. Elevate Your Legs To Reduce Fluid Retention

If you suffer from fluid retention in your legs, try elevating them in the evening. Sitting or lying down with your legs propped up for an hour or so before bed can help move the fluid back into your bloodstream, where it can be processed and eliminated before you sleep.

person in bed with legs up on a pillowA pillow can help elevate your legs before bed.Photo credit: Canva

4. Strengthen Your Pelvic Floor Muscles With Kegel Exercises

Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles through Kegel exercises can improve bladder control and reduce the urge to urinate at night. Performing these exercises regularly builds muscle strength in the pelvic area, which can help manage bladder urgency.

“Using Kegel weights or resistance tools can make these exercises more effective, helping you see improvements sooner,” says Dr. Olson. “Make sure you follow a guide to pick up the right technique, however.”

5. Train Your Bladder During The Day

Bladder training is a gradual process that involves spacing out the time between daytime bathroom visits. By holding off on urinating a bit longer each time, you can work on expanding your bladder’s capacity, which may reduce the frequency of nighttime urges. This gradual approach helps prevent your bladder from becoming too sensitive, potentially reducing the likelihood of waking up frequently at night.

6. Avoid Bladder-Irritating Foods In The Evening

Certain foods and drinks, such as spicy dishes, caffeinated beverages, alcohol, carbonated drinks, and artificial sweeteners, can irritate the bladder, increasing the frequency of urination. To minimize nighttime disruptions, try avoiding these triggers in the late afternoon and evening.

“Instead, opt for bladder-friendly options such as water closer to bedtime,” says Dr. Olson.

7. Create A Restful Sleep Environment

Setting up a calm, comfortable sleep environment can make it easier to fall back asleep if nocturia does wake you. Try keeping your room dark, quiet, and cool; blackout curtains, earplugs, and a comfortable temperature can all promote better sleep quality.

woman wearing sleep mask in bedGood sleep hygiene can help reduce the impact of nocturia-driven sleep deprivation.Photo credit: Canva

Additionally, reducing screen time before bed and creating a pre-sleep wind-down routine can help your body transition to a restful state, making it easier to drift back to sleep after interruptions. “This will reduce the impact of the sleep deprivation often associated with nocturia,” says Dr. Olson.

Always consult your doctor if you have health concerns, especially if habits like these don't seem to make a difference. You can learn more about how to manage frequent urination and other pelvic health issues on the Intimate Rose website.

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