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We asked, you answered: Here are 15 of the best gifts you've ever given.

'My gift to them ended up being one of the best gifts I ever got too.'

What's the best gift you've ever given someone?

It doesn't have to be a tangible thing or something life-changing. As long as it made a difference to that person in the moment they received it, it counts.

Image via iStock.

Giving a gift is always a wonderful thing to do, whether it's Christmas or someone's birthday or just your average Wednesday. It not only makes the person you're giving it to feel good, it makes you, the giver, happier too. In fact, studies have shown giving a gift has a greater positive impact overall on a person than receiving one.

We asked you — our readers — about the best gifts you've ever given. Your answers did not disappoint.

Here are 15 of the best gifts Upworthy readers said they have ever given:

Responses have been edited for clarity and length.

1. A prosthetic eye for a soon-to-be teacher

Image via iStock.

Kim Dahill was a member of wish-granting website Wish Upon a Hero and read a wish from a man with a prosthetic eye who was studying to be a teacher. The eye didn't fit well and caused him a lot of discomfort and anxiety, but he didn't have money to buy a new one.

"I was able to contact a prosthetic clinic in his area and they agreed to give him a new eye free of charge," Dahill wrote on Facebook. "He was so moved by this that he reached out to me to thank me and we have been friends ever since. It cost me nothing but my time, but it made a huge change in both of our lives. He is a very successful teacher now."

2. The gift of being able to buy gifts

Deborah Cook wants families to have the opportunity to be gift-givers even if they don't have the means.

"We find out what stores they could use gift cards from, including grocery stores, and we give them an envelope full of them," explained Cook. "... We like the idea of families having the ability to enjoy the holiday season in the same manner as the fortunate among us."

3. Carrying a child for a couple that had miscarried

Photo by Loic Venance/Getty Images.

"I carried a baby for a couple who would otherwise be childless. It was hell on my body, particularly my booty with all the shots, but worth every second to see their family complete." — Amy Donahue

4. A wine box full of gratitude

"A few years ago, I was hospitalized twice within 8 months for suicidal ideation. One of my safe places was my best friends house and one time he said I wasn't allowed to kill myself until I bought him one last drink, but that he would never accept it. (At this point I think I already owed him three or four). I finally found the right combinations of meds that helped me to start thriving in life so for his birthday, I wanted to do something special. He is an avid wine drinker so I decided to buy him a wine box and I had it engraved with 'the last drink' and filled it with index cards of all these words and adjectives to describe all that he has done an meant for me. He said it was one of the best gifts he's ever gotten." — Jeremy Morgan.

5. An escape to a dog-friendly hotel

Photo by Dan Kittwood/Getty Images.

When Shanon Arm's friend had no place to stay, Arm found a dog-friendly hotel and put up her friend and her canine companion for a few nights until she could get back on her feet.

"I lost my own beloved dog a few months ago," wrote Arm. "... I am still somewhat lost without him, and it was such a privilege to be able to help someone else who loves their dog as much as I loved (and still love) mine."

6. Kind words to a stranger

"I reached out to a stranger on a forum on the internet [who] had commented just two little words, but those words made me want to brighten their day a bit, lift a bit of weight off of their shoulders by being kind and offer to listen. Nothing more. Just an act of kindness from one stranger to another, who and where ever they were on this earth.

"We kept talking. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. We really got along and I found myself really enjoying this anonymous and platonic contact.

"However, one day we decided to tell each other who we were. Up to this point we had stayed away from this, but we felt it was time. It had been long enough and we felt comfortable. I told him I was a 22 yr old female living in Europe. He told me he was a 33 yr old male, living in the US. Fast forward 5 years, we have been married for 3 years now, and he is the love of my life. All because I said; 'Care to share with a stranger?'" — Willemijn van Rijn-McGhee

7. A photo a loved one thought was lost

Image via iStock.

Ashley Johnson had an old photo of her as a baby sitting on her great-grandmother's lap with her aunt standing next to her. Her mother swore there was another photo with a similar pose where she's in the photo instead of her sister, but it wasn't in the album. No one had ever seen it.

"Jump forward to about 2000 ... all of the old bags of photos and negatives are out ... I'm sitting in the couch and I'm haphazardly looking through them and I find the negative strip for the photo of my aunt and the first negative was the one of my mother. The film had an extra exposure and the picture was never developed. I had the photo print[ed] and bought a pretty frame and gave it to my mom for Christmas that year. It's the most meaningful gift I have given anyone so far. It was a wonderful surprise for her (lots of happy tears!). I was so happy to give her a memory."

8. 365 memories in a jar from Target

On the surface, Danielle Auretto gave both her sisters 365 strips of paper and a jar, but it's what she wrote on the paper that made the gift so special:

"Each had a quote, family memory, the name of a family member to think about, or a wish for them. Each day that year they drew a new paper. Sometimes they would call me when they found one particularly funny or thought provoking. The next Christmas they each made a collage of their favorites with answers to some of the questions or thoughts when reading it. ... [M]y gift to them ended up being one of the best gifts I ever got too."

9. A special blanket that would've never been finished otherwise

"[My best friend] once told me his mom had started to crochet a blanket, but passed away before finishing it (five years ago, and he still never got rid of the yarn). While house-sitting, I took the bag of yarn and small swatch of blanket. I had a friend finish the blanket with a different pattern, so he could always see the part his mom's did — her final project. It is hands down the most special gift I've ever given — to see the man I admire most hold that blanket that his mom worked so hard on, finally finished." — Amanda Fliflet

10. 200 raincoats

"Last winter, my 10yr old and I crowdfunded to buy 200 high quality rain ponchos for the residents of skid row. Every time it rains, I remind her that 200 people are dry and grateful. This last Valentines Day, her and my son (4) made 300 valentines with lollipops for them too. They wanted to shine a little light where it may otherwise not." — Lisset Gutierrez

11. Tickets to a Bulls vs. Magic basketball game on Christmas Day

"I had 4 tickets to a Bulls vs Magic (Jordan Shaq) Christmas Day game while visiting in-laws in Chicago. Due to family constraints, [we] could not go. Standing on the L, I spotted a lady [with] 3 children all in bulls clothing and walked up to her and asked her if she'd like to take her children to the game tomorrow. She couldn't speak. Handing her the tickets, tears rolled down her face. A total stranger. It still warms my heart today." — Brian Kelly

12. The gift of mentorship

"[We] signed up to be a Big Couple 10 years ago on December 19th," wrote Kelly Malquist of a gift she and her husband gave. "We got so much more than we ever imagined. They are both young men now and we couldn't be more proud of both of them. It started with an hour a week and turned into family, love, patience and laughter and so much more."

13. A red scooter for an elderly neighbor

"An elderly lady, Mrs. Yates, lived next door to us. She told me that she always wanted a shiny red scooter when she was little, but Santa never brought one to her. So we got her one and placed it on her porch right outside her front door with a big bow on it and a card from Santa saying he was sorry for being late with her scooter! She was ecstatic!!" — Jennifer Inman

14. The gift of life

"I donate blood regularly," Whittney Williams wrote. "Every time, I hope it saves someone's life, or [makes their] life a little easier."

15. Letters from students, friends, and loved ones

Photo by Warenski/Flickr.

Denise Helen Norwood spent a year collecting letters from people who loved, respected, and admired her husband, then she tied the letters to balloons and invited all the letter writers to a surprise PJ party at their house.

"Our doorbell rang, and my husband opened the door to see our entire front lawn filled with his friends each holding their letter balloon," she wrote. "We all came into the house and enjoyed hot chocolate, pastries and mugs of tomato soup. The PJ's provided endless photo ops and laughter and a sweet sense of coziness. It took my husband an entire year to read all of his beautiful letters. ❤"

The "best gift ever" can be anything. It's not so much what it is but why it matters to the receiver and the thought that the giver put into it that makes it special.

Next time you're looking to give someone something, think about them and what they've been missing. Maybe it's an airline ticket so they can see their family. Maybe it's as simple as a note that says "I'm here to talk whenever you want."

It doesn't need to cost a fortune for it to mean everything.  

We also asked you about the best gift you ever received (spoiler alert: Your answers were equally beautiful). You can read that article here.

Pop Culture

Mom leaves a 'heartbreaking' gift to flight passengers sitting next to her baby

"That's a mom trying so hard."

@callmebelly/TikTok

An excellent reminder to show kindness and patience.

Listening to a baby cry during a flight might be aggravating, but it’s nothing compared to the moans, groans, and eyerolls that the baby's parents must endure from other passengers when it happens. No matter what tips and tricks are used to try to soothe a little one’s temperament while 30,000 miles in the air, crying is almost inevitable. So, while having to ease their own child’s anxiety, moms and dads also must suffer being the pariah of the trip. What a nightmare.

Recently, one mom was apparently trying so hard to avoid upsetting her fellow flight members that she went above and beyond to essentially apologize ahead of time if her baby began to cry on its first flight. It was a gesture that, while thoughtful, had folks really feeling for how stressed that poor mom must be.

In a clip posted to his TikTok, one of the passengers—Elliot—explained that the mom handed out small care packages to those nearby.

“She’s already so busy and took the time to make these bags for everyone,” Elliot said, before panning the camera to reveal a Ziplock bag full of candy, along with a note that made him “want to cry.”

The note read: “It’s my first flight. I made a deal to be on my best behaviour—but I can’t make any guarantees. I might cry if I get scared or if my ears start to hurt. Here are some treats to make your flight enjoyable. Thank you for being patient with us. Have a great flight.”

@callmebelly♬ BIRDS OF A FEATHER - Billie Eilish

Like Elliot, those who watched the video felt some ambivalence at the well intentioned act. Many felt remorse that she would feel the need to appease people in this way.

“This is so sweet but also … kind of breaks my heart that we live in a world in which parents feel the need to do that.”

“Because jerk people have shamed parents into believing that they need to apologize for their kids' absolutely normal behavior. What a gem of a mom.”

“You know that sweet mom worried about this trip so much.”

“That poor mom probably spent nights awake … nervous about that flight, thinking of ways to keep strangers happy.”

"That's a mom trying so hard."

Many rallied behind the mom, arguing that making others feel more comfortable with her child being on board was in no way her responsibility.

“No mom should be apologizing. Adults can control their emotions … babies not …. Hugging this mom from a distance.”

“Dear new parents: no you don’t have to do this. Your babies have the right to exist. We all know babies cry. We know you try your best.”

Luckily, there are just as many stories of fellow passengers being completely compassionate towards parents with small children—from simply choosing to throw on their headphones during a tantrum (instead of throwing one themselves) to going out of their way to comfort a baby (and taking the load of a parent in the process). These little acts of kindness make more of an impact than we probably realize. Perhaps if we incorporated more of this “it takes a village” mindset, flying could be a little bit more pleasant for everyone involved.

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Community

Tim Tebow's Night to Shine event celebrated over 100,000 people with special needs

"Lord willing, we won’t stop until every person with special needs knows their worth," Tebow tells Upworthy.

The Tebow Group

Tim Tebow poses with Night to Shine attendee in Thailand.

The red carpets were rolled out around the world last Friday, February 7th, for a very special celebration of over 100,000 people with special needs at the Tim Tebow Foundation's 11th Annual Night to Shine event. Former NFL quarterback Tim Tebow founded Night to Shine in 2015 to center on celebrating, honoring and valuing people with special needs.

Held on one night, always the Friday before Valentine's Day, his Tim Tebow Foundation partners with local churches, providing support and resources to host a cost-free prom honoring individuals living with disability in their local communities. Anyone ages 14 and older is welcome to attend, where attendees enjoy a fun-packed evening that includes: a red carpet with paparazzi, hair and makeup stations, shoeshines, limousine rides, karaoke, gifts, a catered dinner, a Sensory Room, a Respite Room for parents and caregivers, and loads of dancing.

At its founding, Night to Shine was held solely in the United States at 44 different locations. Now in its eleventh year, Night to Shine has grown to 821 host churches in all 50 states—and has continued to expand internationally. This year, 62 countries worldwide hosted Night to Shine celebrations. Tebow celebrated this year's Night to Shine in Thailand and Vietnam, while his wife Together with his wife, Demi-Leigh Tebow, celebrated in her home country of South Africa.

“It was so awesome seeing Night to Shine in new countries this year—and to have the honor of celebrating in Vietnam for the first time!" Tebow tells Upworthy.

red carpet, tim tebow, night to shineRed carpet at Tim Tebow Foundation's Night to Shine.Jensen Sutta

Night to Shine's international presence expanded to several new countries for the 2025 celebration, including:

"What an unforgettable night at Night to Shine in Cape Town!" Demi-Leigh Tebow tells Upworthy. "This event means so much to me for so many reasons. Some of you may know that my little sister, Franje, was born with special needs, and learning about Night to Shine back in 2018 was actually how I met Tim!"

Currently expecting the couple's first child, Demi-Leigh Tebow will be a mom at next year's celebration—something she's eagerly awaiting.

"Since then, I’ve been incredibly blessed to meet countless Kings and Queens from all over the world—each one so valuable and deeply loved by God. But getting to celebrate this night in my home country was incredibly special. My heart is so full and I’m already looking forward to doing it all again next year!” she says.

demi leigh tebow, tim tebow, night to shineDemi -Leigh Tebow at Night to Shine 2024 in South Africa.The Tebow Group

After a night full of partying, Night to Shine concludes with a 'crowning' of the Kings and Queens with crowns and tiaras to signify a declaration of worth and love. "We crown every Night to Shine honored guest the King or Queen because that's how God sees them," Tebow wrote in an Instagram video montage of this year's crowning's.

In another post, he added, "For many, it's the first they've ever felt truly celebrated, especially by someone outside their family. But that's exactly why Night to Shine exists--to remind them that they are God's beloved royalty, seen and cherished by Him every single day."

Tebow's goal is to have Night to Shine in every country. Next year, Night to Shine will be held on Feb. 13, 2026. If you are interest in hosting a Night to Shine event in 2026, you can find more information here.

"Lord willing, we won’t stop until every person with special needs knows their worth—until the abandoned are embraced, the forgotten are celebrated, the overlooked are seen, and all people experience the radical love of Jesus," Tebow tells Upworthy.

special needs
Joy

Adorable Golden Retriever absolutely loses it when he runs into his vet at a bar

No one has ever been this excited to see their doctor.

@cosmo_andtheoddparents/TikTok

He wuvs his vet.

Not every dog might jump with joy after seeing their vet out in public. But for Cosmo the Golden Retriever, it was practically Christmas all over again when he spotted his own vet, Dr. Jones, at a brewery.

In an adorable clip posted to TikTok, we see Cosmo in pure, unadulterated bliss as he snuggles with an equally happy Dr. Jones, who, considering he’s still in his scrubs, might have just gotten out of work to grab a quick pint.

Watch:

@cosmo_andtheoddparents When you run into your vet in public #goldenretrieversoftiktok #vetlife #animallovers #petparents #goldenretriever #goldenretrievers #doglife #dogmom #dailyfluff #charlestondogs #doglover #charlestondog #brewerydog ♬ original sound - Cosmo

Ugh, the cuteness is too much to handle! People in the comments could barely contain their secondhand joy.

“He looked over like, “Mom, do you see who this is?” one person wrote, while another said, “What in the Hallmark movie? Adorable!!”

One person even joked, “Did we all check the vet’s hand for a wedding ring? (Said as a married woman. Looking out for you all, or something.)”

According to Hannah Dweikat, Cosmo’s owner, the two actually share quite a history. She tells Upworthy that when Cosmo was but a wee pup, he “gave a scare” after eating a Sago Palm seed, which are highly toxic to dogs, from a plant in their backyard, which of course resulted in him being rushed to the animal hospital and staying there over the weekend.

While that’s every pet owner’s worst nightmare, and certainly a scary situation for the poor fur baby, Dweikat says that “the calm and patient demeanor” of Dr. Jones and his staff put Cosmo at ease. And because of this, “Cosmo has always loved going to see his friends—especially because they give him lots of treats and snuggles.”

Cosmo and Dr. Jones’ buddyship has also blossomed thanks to proximity, as Dweikat only lives down the street from the clinic. “Which means we get to see Dr. Jones and his staff out in public at times and Cosmo takes every chance he can get to say hi,” she explains. This time, however, she was able to capture it all on video. Yay for us!

What makes a good vet?

While not every vet, however gifted, will be able to elicit this type of reaction from their patients, having a calming presence like Dr. Jones is certainly a good sign for pet owners to be on the lookout for when shopping around for their own vet. But that’s not the only quality a good vet needs. According to Saint Matthews University, a vet also needs to have high stamina (both physically and mentally), as well as an ability to tolerate unpleasant situations (you can’t faint at the sight of blood or vomit), a high level of emotional intelligence (maybe all doctors should possess this skill, but especially those who work with animals), adaptability, a sense of enthusiasm, and finally, excellent communication skills.

Dr. Jones seems to have these attributes in spades, and his patients clearly love him for it. None so much as Cosmo, obviously.

By the way, if you’re in need of even more content featuring this precious pup, you can follow Cosmo on both TikTok and Instagram.

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Parenting

3 things I learned from my kid's ADHD therapy that every parent needs to know

Parent Child Interaction Therapy was the ultimate crash course in parenting a stubborn child.

Unsplash and Evan Porter/Upworthy

Learning more means doing better for everyone.

We knew our now 4-year-old daughter was different very early on in her life. On her first birthday, she had another 1-year-old friend over to play in the backyard (it was COVID times, so there was no big party with all of her daycare friends). The boy, a neighbor of ours, sat and played in the baby pool for a solid hour without moving or making much of a peep. Our daughter, meanwhile, stripped off her swim diaper and spent the entire afternoon wandering around the yard, rolling in grass, swinging sticks around, and generally making mayhem. Making mayhem pretty much became her norm for the next few years. She slept poorly, had multiple meltdowns every day, and was so defiant my wife and I were left completely exasperated and in tears most days.

It wasn’t too long before we started to look into parenting coaching to get a grip on her behavior and regain some sense of normalcy in our lives. The stuff that had worked with our older daughter had been a colossal failure thus far. I loved our parenting coach and her ideas. Talking to her was almost like therapy for us. But her techniques didn’t work either. Then we tried Occupational Therapy. Our daughter loved going because she got to climb around on obstacle courses and play fun games that were meant to work on her vestibular system and help her feel more calm and grounded, but we never saw much of a difference in her.

gif of a a tired man falling to the floorWe were exhausted.Giphy

Finally, we took the plunge and did a full-scale psychiatric evaluation, and the results showed that she had ADHD. It confirmed what we pretty much already knew. We thought we’d be going down the medication road sooner than later, but our doctor actually recommended a specific kind of therapy. It was called PCIT.

Parent Child Interaction Therapy promised to ‘train’ us on how to better interact with our daughter. Great, more parenting coaching, we thought. Another person to tell us that we need to be more consistent, apply more discipline, and yadda yadda yadda. But we didn’t have any other options, so we gave it a try.

In short, and to our complete surprise, PCIT has been a life-changer. When it was described to us as coaching or training, they really weren’t kidding. We spent several sessions in the office with our daughter while literally being observed with a camera and fed lines through a headset! As of this writing, we’ve been practicing the techniques for several months and we’ve seen a big difference. At so many points throughout the therapy, my wife and I agreed that all parents with stubborn kids should go through this program.

Here are just a few of the things we learned that helped us immediately in our daily life with a super defiant, too-smart-for-her-own-good, highly dysregulated kiddo.

1. The magic of 'Special Time'

boy playing with blocks on white wooden table Photo by Ryan Fields on Unsplash

Our first task in PCIT was to have more positive interactions with our daughter. We spent so much of our time telling her, "No," reprimanding her, arguing, bargaining, negotiating, and punishing that it was making it really hard to take any joy in being her parent.

So, our therapist introduced us to a concept called Special Time. For just five minutes every day, we were instructed to give our daughter our undivided attention and fill her with as much positive energy as possible. There were extremely specific ways that we did this, and, in fact, we even practiced and were measured in the therapy setting on how well we implemented all the techniques! But during Special Time, we play with our daughter one-on-one and let her lead the interaction. Our job is to play along. Meanwhile, we shower her with praise (“Wow, I love how nicely you’re sharing the toys with me!”), touch or speak to her affectionately (“I’m having so much fun playing with you”), imitate the way she played and even echo things she said back to her to let her know she was being heard and listened to. Doing Special Time made a huge difference, almost immediately, in reducing her negative attention seeking behaviors.

And we always feel good at the end of it, which helps offset the stress and frustration of our many conflicts. If you’ve got a kid that sometimes acts out for attention, pre-emptively giving them lots and lots of positive attention might help.

2. The Time Out flow chart

I think a lot of parents can relate when I say that, for years, we found implementing punishments with our daughter to be a disaster most of the time. With a stubborn and dysregulated kid, doing things like taking a toy away or doing 'No Dessert' would almost always cause an explosion, and/or end up hurting us more than it hurt her.

A lot of parenting experts have their own approach to Time Out, but not many of them are clinically validated like the one used in PCIT. When we learned how to do Time Out properly, Time Out became the primary 'punishment' we use. When she doesn't do what we clearly ask her to do, or she breaks a House Rule (like 'No Hitting'), she goes into Time Out. Once she's ready to do the thing we asked, she can come out of Time Out and the conflict is over. She can go right back to playing or having dessert. It’s so much simpler.

Although, when I first saw the flow chart for how Time Out worked, it looked like anything but simple.

a flow chart about how to handle Time Out in PCITIt looks complicated at first, but it's actually simpler and more effective than we thought.Evan Porter/Upworthy

Seeing this flow chart at first was incredibly overwhelming! But with a little practice, it made sense. The first couple times using the Time Out sequence at home were a little rough, but after a little while of being consistent with it, just the threat of it is usually enough to get our daughter back on the right track.

Even if you don't follow the brain-dizzying flow chart above, I think all parents could benefit from learning a consistent Time Out sequence that ends with your child complying every single time without fail. It's tough! Sometimes it takes a while and you have to be a little stubborn yourself in order to see it all the way through to the end, but the investment is worth it.

3. Active Ignoring

This one is a little controversial in some circles but we found it to be an excellent tool to have in our toolbox. Our therapist even told us that if she could teach her patients just one thing, it would be how and when to use Active Ignoring or Selective Attention.

A handout from UC Davis describes this technique as: "We use Selective Attention to deal with behaviors that are minor, irritating, and inappropriate. Ignoring these behaviors is an active way to correct them! You will strategically use the technique to stop specific behaviors," like whining, sulking, screaming, being clingy, lying, and more. The idea is that these behaviors are attention-seeking so any kind of attention only fans the flames and rewards them.

gif of a woman trying to get a man's attentionSometimes being unbothered works.Giphy

When our daughter is fussy, irritated, and whiny, we first try to help her regulate. One of the best ways we learned to do this (again, through PCIT!) is with leading by example. We used to bombard her with calming options. “Want to color? Want a snack? Oh, let’s walk outside! How about a drink of water? What if we put on some music?” And of course she would just say No, No, No!!!! And then we’d wonder why we could never get her to calm down by coloring. It turns out that sometimes what works way better, and is less overwhelming for her, is if we just calmly get out all the supplies and start coloring ourselves. She’ll almost always join in when she’s ready.

But if we just can't shake the grumpiness and whining and tantrums, we'll turn to Active Ignoring. This approach has two big benefits. Number one, it stops the conflict from escalating further. We used to get into these cycles where everything we would try to say or do would just make the tantrums worse to the point they became full-blown nuclear explosions. By just walking away, we were able to nip a lot of those in the bud. Number two, ignoring helps keep us calm. Yes, parents are human beings that get frustrated and angry and upset, too! And when those emotions start to pile up, it makes everything worse. Having the freedom to just turn away or walk away or stop talking has done wonders for our mental health.

Sometimes, some of the techniques we've learned in therapy feel "mean." We're not able to be as flexible and gentle sometimes as we'd like to do, but that's because flexible and gentle is not what our daughter needs most of the time. She needs us to be strong and consistent. That makes us reliable and safe, and it helps keep her regulated. The techniques taught in PCIT won't be right for every kid or every family, but it was right for us.

I was as skeptical going into all of this as anyone, but going through the therapy has allowed us to enjoy being her parents so much more. She's the sweetest kid and one of the funniest people on the planet. She brings so much fun and laughter to our lives, and it's been absolutely amazing to spend less time butting heads with her and more time soaking in her incredible energy.

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Pop Culture

Therapist shares 11 gaslighting tactics Rapunzel's mom used in Disney's 'Tangled'

Mother Gothel is the mother of all gaslighters.

Image credit: Cinema Therapy/YouTube

Mother Gothel's gaslighting of Rapunzel badly messed with her head.

If you've never been a victim of serious gaslighting, count yourself fortunate. Few experiences are as confusing and disturbing as a narcissist making you doubt your reality, question your judgment, and believe you can't trust your own mind. Gaslighting messes with you psychologically, making you feel more and more dependent on the gaslighter, but all the while what they're doing is giving you their own version of reality.

For a perfect example of what gaslighting looks like, look no further than Mother Gothel, Rapunzel's mom (but not really) in "Tangled." In a popular episode of Cinema Therapy, licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright give examples of how Gothel gaslights Rapunzel throughout the film. Going through a list of 11 red flags of gaslighting from psychologist Dr. Stephanie Sarkis from psychologist Dr. Stephanie Sarkis, they explain how Mother Gothel hits the mark on each one.

Gothel may be an extreme case, but seeing examples from a well-known character helps us to see how these tactics might play out in a relationship in real life. "Her whole strategy is to get Rapunzel to question her own sanity, her own reason, her own judgment," says Decker, and that's exactly what gaslighting does to victims.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Here are 11 tactics gaslighters use and how Mother Gothel exemplifies them.

1. Telling blatant lies.

From the get go, we see Mother Gothel telling Rapunzel things that are just objectively not true. For example, she greatly exaggerates the dangers of the outside world in the song "Mother Knows Best."

"Mother Gothel is constantly lying to Rapunzel, telling her she's worthless, telling her she can't do things, belittling her, making her feel like less than, like she won't be able to survive outside," says Seawright.

2. Denying that they lie, even if you have proof.

Gothel tells Rapunzel that she'll be able to leave the tower once she's old enough, smart enough, mature enough, but every time Rapunzel tries to bring it up, she puts her off. Ultimately, though, Gothel pronounces, "You are not leaving this tower, ever!" And Rapunzel isn't allowed to argue.

3. They use what is near and dear to you as ammunition.

"They will tell you'd be a worthy person if only you didn't have a long list of negative traits," writes Sarkis." They attack the very foundation of your being." Decker demonstrates how in "Mother Knows Best" Mother Gothel decimates Rapunzel's looks, intelligence, character—basically everything about her. Look how she describes Rapunzel in the song: "Sloppy, underdressed, immature, clumsy…gullible, naive, positively grubby, ditzy and a bit vague…plus, I believe, gettin' kind of chubby."

4. They wear you down over time.

Rapunzel has spent her entire life in a tower with no one to talk to but Mother Gothel, being fed nothing but Gothel's version of reality. "So no wonder when she actually leaves the tower she goes a little bonkers and questions her own sanity, her own reason, her own judgment," says Decker.

5. Their actions don't match their words.

Mother Gothel regularly tells Rapunzel that she loves her the most. "But what she actually means is 'I love controlling you the most,'" says Seawright. "She won't let her be reunited with her real family, and she keeps her from experiencing real love."

6. They use positive reinforcement to confuse you.

Few people would stay with a person who mistreated them all the time, so gaslighters mix it up with praise and love bombs. "The very person who is attacking you, just ripping into your identity, is now the person who's praising you, building you up. And it's confusing as heck." Mother Gothel will butter up and praise Rapunzel when it serves her, and then turn around and berate her.

7. They know that confusion weakens people.

"Our natural tendency is to try to find a person that makes us feel the most stable," says Seawright. "And in this case when it's the gaslighter, you're pretty much out of luck." He uses the example of when Rapunzel wants to go see the lanterns, not knowing what they are, and Mother Gothel says she's just talking about the stars. That and the "Mother Knows Best" song are meant to confuse and make her feel like she can't trust her own judgment so that she remains completely reliant upon Gothel.

8. They project.

Seawright points out that when she's denigrating Rapunzel in "Mother Knows Best," it's actually concerns about herself that she's just projecting onto Rapunzel. Gaslighters will often accuse you of things they are doing, which makes you feel like you need to defend yourself even if you didn't do anything wrong.

9. They try to turn people against you.

Mother Gothel didn't have direct access to Flynn Rider, so she couldn't really try to turn him against Rapunzel. Instead, she sweet-talked and convinced the Stabbington Brothers to help her with her diabolical plan to get Rapunzel back into her grip. She may not have gotten to Flynn, but she made Rapunzel believe that he had turned against her, which is good enough.

10. They paint you or others as crazy.

Sarkis calls this a gaslighter's "master technique." If they can get you to question your own sanity, it's less likely that others will believe you. Mother Gothel is constantly telling Rapunzel that she can't trust her own mind. ("Rapunzel, that's demented," she says dismissively when Rapunzel thinks Flynn likes her, which he does.)

11. They say everyone else is lying.

A gaslighter will tell you that people are talking about you or show you a text taken out of context to make it appear that other people can't be trusted and make you believe that no one is on your side but them. "They tell you, 'everyone else is a liar,'" says Seawright. "It makes people turn to the gaslighter for the correct information, which of course, isn’t correct information at all."

Thankfully, Rapunzel starts to figure out what Mother Gothel is doing when she makes it seem like Flynn has betrayed her.

Unfortunately, recovering from an entire childhood of narcissist gaslighting takes more time than the end of a Disney film to recover from, but such is the limitation of a children's film. Decker concludes the episode by sharing tips for dealing with gaslighting in real life, though—definitely worth checking out.

Find more analysis of movies, characters, and mental health on the Cinema Therapy channel on YouTube.

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