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We Always Knew The Cable Company Was Evil. But These Plans Gimme The Heebie-Jeebies.
If this is where we're heading, the future won't be too pretty. (And neither are we.)
06.23.14
Photo by Johnny Cohen on Unsplash
It's a good news/bad news situation for parents of young kids. The good news? Everyone wants to spend time with the kids! Grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends. They all want a relationship and lots of special moments with the little ones.
The bad news? One phrase: "When are you bringing them over?" Parents have been frustrated by the expectations of orchestrating stressful visits for generations — loading the kids in a car or on an airplane only to spend hours chasing them around in an un-baby-proofed environment and watching routines go to hell.
Now they're sounding off on social media and airing their grievances.
Why visiting grandparents and other relatives is so challenging for parents
A mom recently took to Reddit to vent about everyone in her life wanting her to "bring the kids to them."
"My parents live 30 mins away and always bug me about not coming to visit them," she writes. They constantly ask, "Why don't you bring our granddaughter to come see us?"
The fascinating discussion highlights a few things that make arranging visits with young kids a potential nightmare for parents.
Grandparents' houses are rarely childproofed
Grandparents love their breakable decor! Ceramic doo-dads, glass vases everywhere. They can't get enough. And while they should be able to decorate their house however they see fit (they've earned the right!) that doesn't make it a good environment for toddlers and babies.
The breakable decor found in every grandparents' houseozalee.fr/Flickr
"Last week was the last straw, I took my daughter to my parents and of course she went EVERYWHERE! flooded their toilet, broke a vase, and tried multiple times to climb their furniture," the Reddit mom writes.
Parents in a foreign environment are on constant safety duty and can rarely sit down
Let's be honest. Sometimes these "visits" are hardly worth the effort. After all, it's hard to get much catch up time when you're dutifully chasing your kid around.
"They don’t understand that my 3 yo ... is absolutely wild," writes another user in the thread. "She has no self preservation and nothing we do works. She doesn’t listen, she throws, she bites, she refuses to use the potty. It’s exhausting and then ... they expect us to entertain them, when I’m trying to just keep my kid from jumping off the stairs and into an ER visit."
Even just putting the kids in the car for a 20-minute drive is more work than it seems
Taking the kids out of the house requires packing a bag, bringing extra clothes, loading up on snacks, etc.
It seems easy to "pop over" but it actually absorbs the majority of the day between prep, visit, and aftermath.
Naps and routines go to hell
Parents with babies and toddlers know all too well — there is a price to pay for taking the kids out of the house for too long.
Chances are, the baby won't nap in a strange environment and then you're stuck with a cranky kid the rest of the night.
Kids with special needs require even more consistency
Kids with autism or ADHD can really struggle outside of their zone of safety. They might become severely dysregulated, have meltdowns, or engage in dangerous behaviors.
Explaining and mediating the generational divide
Photo by Tim Kilby on Unsplash
Why is this a conflict almost all parents can relate to?
Is this a Boomer vs Millennials thing?
Some experts think that generational values and traditions might play a role.
"Many Boomers were accustomed to more traditional, hierarchical family dynamics, where visiting grandparents was a way for the younger generation to show respect," says Caitlin Slavens, a family psychologist.
But that's not to say this is a new problem. I can remember my own parents driving me and my brothers over an hour to visit my grandparents seemingly every other weekend, but very few occasions where they came to visit us. It must have driven my parents nuts back then!
Plus, it's easy to forget that it's hard for older people to travel, too. They may have their own issues and discomforts when it comes to being away from their home.
"But for today’s parents, balancing careers, kids’ routines, and the demands of modern parenting is a much bigger undertaking. Grandparents might not always see how childproofing their space or making the trip themselves could make a huge difference, especially considering how travel and disruption can impact younger kids' moods and routines," Slavens says.
"So yes, this divide often comes down to different expectations and life experiences, with older generations potentially not seeing the daily demands modern families face."
Is there any hope for parents and grandparents coming to a better understanding, or a compromise?
"First, open conversations help bridge the divide—explain how much of a difference it makes when the kids stay in a familiar space, especially when they’re very young," suggests Slavens.
"Share practical details about the challenges, like childproofing concerns or travel expenses, to help grandparents see it from a parent’s perspective. You might even work together to figure out solutions, like making adjustments to create a more child-friendly space in their home or agreeing on a shared travel plan."
Ultimately, it's a good thing when grandparents, friends, and other relatives want to see the kids.
We all have the same goal.
"It’s helpful to approach the topic with empathy, focusing on everyone’s goal: more quality time together that’s enjoyable and low-stress for everyone involved. For parents, it’s about setting boundaries that work, and for grandparents, it’s about recognizing that flexibility can really show the parents that you are ... willing to make adjustments for their children and grandchildren."
Enjoyable, low-stress quality time — that's something everyone can get behind.
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Man sees neighbor's fence falling down so he builds a new one
It's not unheard of for people to do nice things for their neighbors. Borrowing a bag of rice to finish dinner or collecting the neighbor's mail while they're on vacation. All of these scenarios are within the realm of normalcy of kind neighborly interactions and while some neighbors may even come over to assist with a weekend project, most don't take on huge projects without prompting.
A man that goes by the name Uncle Jhon has made it his mission to go above and beyond for his neighbors. That's why when he was driving through his neighborhood and noticed a neighbor's fence laying on the ground, he decided to get out of his truck and help. But not just help, no. Jhon took the entire fence down, cut it up and built a new one that wouldn't require replacing for many years to come.
"So today I was riding down the street and that's when I noticed my neighbor's fence laying on the ground, so I decided to replace it completely for free. Just because I' retired y'all and I ain't got nothing better to do. Plus I'm sure if they could afford to get it done, it would've been did by now," the friendly neighbor says in the video he uploaded to social media.
Farm Life Building GIF by WIESEMANN 1893Giphy
Jhon quickly clarifies, "Now I didn't just jump out of my truck with a saw and start cutting these people's fence up. I actually knocked on their door to see if this was something they actually wanted me to do and they was more than excited to tell me yeah when I told them I was going to do it for free."
The woman that owns the home is a single mom who lives with her own mother who was recently involved in a car accident that left the car totaled. While the family are having a small rough patch, they have been attempting to get the fence replaced for several years but the cost is too much. The removal and installation of a new six foot privacy fence can run anywhere from $4,000 to well over $10,000 depending on the size of the yard, type of gates, and style of privacy fence being installed.
Guy Tearing Down Fence Takes A Tumble GIF by ViralHogGiphy
Jhon explains that the family had been quoted over $6,000 by multiple contractors in order to the fence replaced, "and we all know with the state the world in right now, $6,000? You might as well say that's a million dollars."
It took the man just under three hours to complete the new fence and cost him a total of $2,173.89. He explains that he has big plans for his neighborhood by doing his part to make it look more desirable. Jhon uses the money he makes off of TikTok to purchase materials for the free projects he does. The handy neighbor also has a website that has free blueprints of DIY projects like raised garden beds, sheds, mailboxes and more.
People can't stop praising the man's action and dedication to his neighborhood with one person writing, "This is what we need more of neighbors helping neighbors!
"That fence looks amazing!!! You can tell that you didn’t take shortcuts either. Built it like it was for yourself!!! Good on ya," another writes.
"As a single mom thank you I know that family are so grateful and appreciate you," someone else shares.
"You are such a good human. My mom was a single parent for many years and an older gentleman rebuilt our front and back porch because he was worried my Nana would get hurt. My mom was so grateful," one person reminisces.
Unsplash
A pilot addressed everyone's very real fears in such a validating way.
Flying is a little scary even during the best of times. While statistically extremely safe compared to driving and other forms of transportation, lots of us feel extra anxious and vulnerable so high off the ground and with so little control over what happens. Add in stories over the past few years about planes malfunctioning and rising questions about the reputation of Boeing, a leading name in aircraft manufacturing, and anxiety is at a high. Some estimates say about 25 million adults suffer from a legitimate phobia of flying, and even if you're not one of them, I'd be willing to bet you grip the armrest extra tight when your plane hits some unexpected turbulence!
Matters weren't helped with two tragic, high-profile plane crashes on U.S. soil in the past couple of days. With nerves running high on regularly scheduled flights over the world, one pilot is going viral for his thoughtful response to shaken passengers.
Captain Jeffrey Collins on American Airlines Flight 1044 got on the PA for his usual pre-flight spiel, and quickly took a detour.
A TikTok user and passenger on the plane, Leighton Mixon, was able to capture most of the announcement on camera. Whereas pilots usually give you a quick update on the weather and let you know if things are on schedule, Collins decided to briefly speak from the heart just three days after a fatal midair collision in Washington, D.C. captured headlines — also involving an American Airlines flight.
"[Some of you] may be fearful about flying and that's certainly understandable," the pilot began. "But just please know that my first officer and our flight attendants and myself place your safety and responsibility of carrying you to Miami, to your to families or vacations or your meetings, on the highest level. I have no higher calling than carefully, professionally transporting you today."
"So with that, relax and enjoy."
@leighterhaters Life is short, hug your people ❤️ whoever is the pilot on AA1044 to MIA, i love you #unitedbywings #americanairlines #blackhawk #crash75 #planecrash #aviation #flightcrew #flightattendant
Mixon, who filmed the event, told Today that everywhere he went in the airport that day, people were talking about the recent crash, and there was a dark fog hanging over everyone he met. "The airport just felt a little quieter. It felt a little somber." The pilot's announcement, while seemingly simple, meant the world to many of the nervous passengers aboard the flight.
“It was like every fear and anxiety I had, it felt like he was speaking to me, like, it literally felt like he was speaking directly to me. I looked around, and it was like every single person on this flight needed to hear that. I think every single person needs to hear this. It was just kind of magic," said Mixon. “I looked up, and I don’t think I saw a dry eye on the plane.”
The video touched the hearts of plenty of people not onboard Flight 1044, as well, racking up a staggering 11 million views. Responses poured in as people were so grateful for the pilot's reassuring words.
Thousands of planes fly successfully worldwide every day, but that doesn't always assuage fears.
Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash
"'I have no higher calling' is POETRY," wrote one user
"This is the PERFECT response to this tragedy. So professional, empathetic and calm. So thankful for pilots like this," said another.
"His voice sounds like it broke when he said he had no higher calling 🥺 his heart is so so heavy," someone chimed in.
"Pilots are really some amazing people. To take on that responsibility, of having so many souls in their hands, has got to be a tremendous amount of pressure," another user added.
Flight attendants and other flight professionals also commented on the video and explained that crews all over the country and world were taking similar measures to reassure passengers, even as their own hearts were heavy and scared. Skye Bolton, a flight attendant with American Airlines, said: "All of our pilots did that yesterday.. my pilot took the extra time to brief us yesterday to make sure we were all okay to work and made a beautiful announcement to the passengers once they were on. ... They care for not only us but for you. Y’all [are] why we fly and we know everyone was scared and worried."
One of the most comforting things when you're flying is remembering that the pilots are human beings.
Of course they take landing the plane safely seriously—they're on it, too, and they want to get home and see their own families at the end of the day. But we don't really see or hear from them very often and so it's easy to forget.
Beyond that, pilots take the responsibility they have extraordinarily seriously. The Air Line Pilots Associated features a code of ethics their pilots abide by, including, "If disaster should strike, they will take whatever action they deem necessary to protect the lives of their passengers and crew."
Airports and airplanes are stressful, anxious places that can sometimes bring out the worst behavior in people, but count me as someone who hopes commercial airplanes never go full autopilot. Knowing there's a highly-trained flight crew onboard that cares deeply about keeping everyone safe makes a world of difference. Kudos to this pilot for taking a minute to remind all of us.