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We all need to ask ourselves what we can do to prevent sexual violence

We all need to ask ourselves what we can do to prevent sexual violence
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Studies show that 1 in 3 females and 1 in 6 males experience sexual violence in their lifetime. Even if we aren't survivors ourselves, we all have acquaintances and loved ones affected by sexual assault or abuse.

Despite how often it occurs, sexual violence has never been something people talk about openly. Thankfully, the #MeToo movement has revealed how pervasive sexual violence is, and social media offers us a way to bring the uncomfortable subject into open, public discussions. So how do we continue these conversations in ways that propel us toward communities free from sexual violence?

By taking a stand and making #BoldMoves.

The California Coalition Against Sexual Assault just launched #BoldMoves, a public awareness campaign that provides tips and small actions we can use to prevent sexual assault by changing the way we think and act. These actions are "bold moves" because they ask us to do something we're not used to doing: act in small ways that challenge the conditions that allow sexual violence to occur.

What are some of these #BoldMoves? Here are a few places to start:

Be an "active bystander."

When you see someone being harassed, it can be hard to know how to respond in the moment. But you are the expert of your social and professional spaces, so you can imagine what an effective intervention looks like. Think ahead. Anticipate that you may have to step in sometimes, and prepare for it. Give yourself permission to interrupt people when they make others feel diminished. Practice strategies to diffuse uncomfortable situations, perhaps using humor or empathy. Rehearse the language and tone you might use to intervene. Be specific about behaviors you're witnessing and why they are problematic.

Be vocal on social.

There's a lot of problematic behavior online—don't contribute to it. Your social media is a reflection and extension of your values, almost like your personal "brand." How would people characterize your social media brand? Do people see you as a positive changemaker? Give yourself permission to use your platforms to advocate for change. The #BoldMoves website offers tips to engage online commenters in ways they'll actually hear and be receptive to, as well as ways to generate productive online conversations about ending sexual violence.

Be political.

The 1960s rallying cry "the personal is political" still holds true today. Make sure your political leaders know that ending sexual violence is important to you. Not enough money is being invested in rape prevention work at the government level, so ask those running for office where sexual assault is on their agenda. Ensuring that our laws and justice system meet the needs of various communities affected by sexual violence goes a long way toward ending sexual violence. Make your voice heard at the ballot box. Join rallies or help with political campaigns—your actions do make a difference.

Be a stereotype breaker.

Small, daily actions may not seem like they are directly related to ending sexual violence, but they are. Just because something seems like the norm, doesn't mean we should accept it as normal. Go out of your way to break gender and sexual stereotypes. For example, we live in a society where males tend to dominate in all social sectors. If you're a guy, become more aware of the expectation that men are supposed to "take control" of "important" tasks. Challenge that idea. Take on more "domestic" duties at home. Offer to send around the birthday card for a coworker. Volunteer to take notes for a group at school. Ask yourself, "Do I jump into the conversation in meetings without noticing whether others have had a chance to contribute and be valued?" Create space for everyone to be heard in meetings and spend more time listening. These small steps demonstrate ways to model shared power and responsibilities, and do not reassert the value of one gender over others.

Challenge yourself to make some other specific #BoldMoves as well:

  • Increase your knowledge. Thinking and reading more about this issue will help reshape how you think and act.
  • Interrogate yourself. We all have our own point of view, some of which is informed by our culture and some by aspects we may not even realize. For example, we carry a "gender lens" with us that shapes what we believe about gender-based violence. Ask yourself, "Where did I get these expectations about the way men, women or nonbinary folks should look or behave?"
  • Intervene when you hear a sexist comment, every time. Yes, be bold.
  • Start constructive conversations about sexist language and behavior with your friends.
  • Get involved in sexual violence prevention organizations in your area.
  • Spread the word on social. Share your ideas for #BoldMoves people can make and tag us. Join the conversation on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Share the #BoldMoves campaign video. Use your social media as a tool to catapult social change forward.

It's up to all of us—not just survivors—to create a safer, more supportive environment for everyone. Challenge yourself to make small changes and start making #BoldMoves today.

Modern Families

Husband who lost his job reluctantly moves family in with mother-in-law. Pure joy ensued.

Families moving in together isn't failure. Sometimes it's their greatest success.

Image via Canva

Katie Bunton shares her family's journey with multigenerational living.

Multigenerational living is not as common in our independent, self-sufficient American culture–but Instagrammer Katie Bunton (@ktbunton) is hoping her experience will open more people's minds to it. Bunton, her husband Harry and their twin boys recently moved in with their mother-in-law Louella Beale (@nana_lulu_love) after experiencing financial hardship, and opened up about the experience with her followers.

"We moved in with my MIL (mother-in-law) 2 months ago when my husband lost his job and I just keep thinking...it must have taken a lot of propaganda to make us believe this was failure," she writes in the video's caption.

In the inspiring video, Bunton showed her viewers some of the incredible benefits they've had with the extra support of Nana Lulu. From making and eating meals together to time spent in the garden and doing other menial daily tasks, she shows that life has truly improved–even though society may look at their living situation differently. "So you’re telling me, this isn’t how it was supposed to be all along ? #multigenerationalliving with @nana_lulu_love 🫶🏽," she captioned the video.

And viewers are showing their support. "I wholeheartedly believe that we’re supposed to be living with family❤️," one wrote. Another added, "It’s the best. My grandmother and mother live with us. I could never asked for a better support system. I would never ever live without multiple generations in the same house or compound." And another shared, "This has forever been my dream 😢 I’m with you, we’ve been lied to in the west. Intergenerational living is beautiful and to me the gold standard for living in harmony and raising children well ❤️."

And Nana Lulu herself commented, "🥹🥹😭😍😍 I’m such a lucky lucky so and so. 🙏🏽Thank you 🙏🏽 thank you 🙏🏽 thank you 🙏🏽 for the beautiful blessings of family love. 💛💛💛💛"

In another video, Bunton shared a vlog with her followers showing more about living with her MIL and the benefits of living multigenerationally. "You’re telling me we could have both parents present and hands on, all we have to do is just lower our cost of living? spend less money? And pool our resources with family? 🤯" she wrote.

In the video, she explains that her family moved in with Nana Lulu at the end of January 2025. "It's taken us quite a while to get into the swing of things. We moved into a new town as well," she adds.

Their routine has completely changed, but in a good way. And she has noticed positive changes in her relationship. "My husband has felt happier, lighter and more himself than I have ever seen him," she says.

The second video also got tons of positive comments from viewers who are loving their new living situation. "This is my definition of rich ❤️," one wrote. Another added, "As someone that doesn’t have a MIL to fall back on, I just want you to know that I’m so happy you have that. So happy you know the peace that extended family can bring and that you/your husband have the support you need to get to the next stage 🫶🏼💕." And another shared, "My husband and I live with my parents. They built us a basement apartment and I am forever grateful to them not only for that but for the bond it has allowed them to have with my kiddos ❤️ I definitely get caught up thinking we’ve done something wrong but we’ve just done what we can with the cards we are dealt. I am so grateful for my village."

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Celebrity

Robert De Niro gives a hilariously candid response when asked about his 'friendship' with Oasis

Tell us what you really think.

Images via Wikicommons

Robert DeNiro and Noel Gallagher from Oasis

Oasis's Noel Gallagher might have a bone to pick. No, not with his brother Liam, though probably that too. This time, it could possibly be with legendary actor Robert De Niro.

Let's back it up. About nine years ago, Noel posted an Instagram photo where he's sitting at a table with Robert seemingly deep in conversation with the caption: “So we’ve been down to the South of France for a few days, and at a 17-hour lunch at our friend's house THIS... THIS... Actually happened!!!”

The "friend"—it turns out—was Bono, of course, the front man for the band U2. As reported by Alex Flood for an article on NME, Noel not only posted the photo but kept telling the story to anyone who would listen. One such person was Alex Goldstein on the UK radio show TalkSport, who had Noel on as a guest.

robert de niro, actor, famous, celebrities, gif robert deniro GIFGiphy


He says to Noel, "Robert De Niro, you've tweeted a picture." Noel quickly points out he didn't "tweet" it, he "grammed" it. Once that's all settled, Goldstein asks how the "17-hour lunch" came about.

Noel humble-brags that his friend "casually mentioned" that De Niro was joining him and his then-wife Sara. Genuinely excited, Noel then confesses, "The only thing that could top that is probably going on a bender with Jack Nicholson." Noel then claims that the dinner started at 1:00 p.m. and went until 6:00 a.m. the following morning. "I don't remember dinner being served."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com


When asked if De Niro knew who he was, Noel admits, "I gotta say, he didn't have a clue, no." And even better, he—according to Noel—said, "Write down the name of that band again that you were in."

Cut to this week. De Niro is making the press-junket rounds for his new film The Alto Kings, directed by Barry Levinson. NME Magazine writer and interviewer, Alex Flood, sat down with him and candidly says, "Robert, I know that you've met Noel Gallagher because he posted this picture of you at a dinner on his Instagram in the South of France once." Seemingly taken aback, both Robert and his co-star Debra Messing look a tad worried. The picture is then handed to Robert, who studies it like a script.

"He's gone on the radio to talk about it, and I just wanted to know if you remembered that and any memories of what happened."

The 81-year-old actor does not remember. "But," he says, "I know where it is. And I heard about it through a mutual friend who knows him. He said they were getting back together and it's a big, big deal."

Flood goes on to relay what Noel had said about the whole day/night. "He said he bent your ear for about two hours. He said you didn't know who Oasis were, but when you were leaving, you asked him—'what was the name of that band?' And I just wondered, did you go away and listen to them?"

Oasis, band, gif, musicians, music, British 90S GIF by OasisGiphy

De Niro and Messing explode in laughter. "No!" He then adds, "But I did have a mutual friend who told me we almost had dinner with him, supposedly, last night. It didn't happen, but anyway..."

Hopefully, that means Noel still stans De Niro, despite possibly not having reciprocity. However, his feelings about his brother Liam? We might have to wait until after their upcoming reunion tour to find out.

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Sex Ed

Gen Z manager shares the time-off requests she's rejected, and people are here for it

This is a refreshing approach to leadership.

@bunchesofbeggs/TikTok

This Manager think PTO is for vacation, not "life changing events."

What does it take to be a good boss? You can answer this a bajillion different ways—being a clear communicator, earning employee trust, providing constructive feedback, and fostering a positive and supportive work environment while also being open to feedback and recognizing your team's contributions—but really, it all seems to stem from respecting your employees as fellow human beings.

And part of that means acknowledging that these employees have lives that are, frankly, more important to them than the job, and not penalizing them for it. One manager, and Gen Zer no less, seems to fully understand this basic principle, and folks are applauding her for it.

Elizabeth Beggs, who manages a five-person team for a packaging distribution company in Virginia, recently made a TikTok sharing which time-off requests she “rejects.”You’ll see why “rejects” is in quotes shortly.

One example: when a female rep notified Beggs that she was likely having a miscarriage. After the team member asked how she can file for time off to see to the issue, Beggs immediately responded, “Girl, go to the doctor! We’re not submitting time off for that!”

In Beggs’ mind, PTO is for “vacation,” not medical emergencies. What a concept.

@bunchesofbeggs Edited to clarify- 1. My team is all salary. 2. These examples are not all recent or from my current position. 3. My team works hard and hits thier KPIs above and beyond. Time off is meant to recharge and be used how you need it, not to handle life changing events #mangers #corporate #genzmanagers #sales #vetstocorporate #veterans ♬ original sound - Elizabeth


Beggs went on to explain a couple more situations, like when a parent who was “up all night” with a sick kid. And her last one wasn’t even negative—she had an employee who wanted to work a half-day to do something nice for their anniversary.

“Seriously, if any of these triggered anyone, then you need to evaluate how you run your team as a manager,” she concluded.

By and large, the response to Beggs’ management style has been overwhelmingly positive, and people seem to find it completely refreshing.

“You are not a manager, you’re a LEADER,” one person wrote.

@bunchesofbeggs Everything you do should be to better your team, not to make your life easier #leadership #ownership #corporatelife #veteran #military ♬ original sound - Elizabeth

Another said,“The better you treat your employees, the more loyal they will be and the better work they will put out. Most people do not understand how management works.”

A few noted how this attitude seems to be more present among younger leaders.

One person commented, "millennial manager here. My team members are human first, employees second. Like just go do what you want but get the work done too.”

Another joked that “Boomer managers could NEVER.”

Beggs would later clarify this doesn’t mean she doesn't have clear productivity expectations for her team (who work on salary). Perhaps if she had a team member not making their KPIs (key performance indicator), there would be an additional conversation surrounding time off, but there is still an inherent respect as a fellow human being. Which, to her, means treating bona fide time- off as a way to “recharge and be used how you need it, not to handle life changing events.”

@bunchesofbeggs If you’re planning does not account for people being human- it’s bad planning #genzleaders #armyvet #militaryvet #genz #corporatelife #corporate #manager #timeoff ♬ original sound - Elizabeth

Younger generations might get labeled “lazy” or “entitled,” but they are also the ones fighting to change the status quo, so that we all may be treated less like cogs in the machine, and more like actual human beings. Its leaders like Beggs who show that operating in new ways doesn't compromise productivity, and in fact enhances it. We might not be able to change the global standard overnight, but we certainly aren’t going to get to a better place without leaders who choose to serve their community rather than a bottom line.

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Pets

Veterinarian lists 6 things pet owners do that 'give him the ick.' Pet parents, take note.

Though meant in good fun, these 'icks' contain some helpful pointers.

Photo credit: Canva

No pet owner wants to give their vet "the ick."

Ally McBeal first brought us the phrase “gives me the ick” back in 1999, and it’s had a resurgence in recent years, thanks to TikTok. While mostly reserved for describing annoyances in the dating world, the term can and has been used to describe virtually every red flag or pet peeve under the sun. Now, thanks to Dr. Frank Bozelka, we can enjoy a veterinarian version of “the icks.”

Just to be clear, the icks in question don’t come from the patients themselves…but the pet parents. While Dr. Bozelka is clearly just poking fun, he doesn’t shy away from highlighting some of the choices that pet parents make that cause some serious problems for their furry friends.

Ick #1 - Trusting a breeder's opinion over a vet’s

As Bozelka points out in his video caption, breeders “are not medical experts.” He added that while there are certainly knowledgeable breeders out there—even some who taught him breed specific tidbits—”most of the time you’re dealing with a backyard breeder who is literally just trying to dodge any responsibility.”

@dr.bozelkaervet

While there certainly are breeders that know their stuff, they are still not medical experts! Sure I’ve learned a few things from breeders about unique breeds I didn’t know, but it’s not very common. And the harsh reality of being a vet is that most of the time, you’re dealing with a backyard breeder that’s literally just trying to dodge any responsibility. So yes, our gut reaction when people say that is to cringe, sorry. I cannot stress this enough: DO NOT JUST BUY A BREED BECAUSE IT’S CUTE!!! DO! YOUR!! HOMEWORK!!! Make sure the breed is a good fit for your lifestyle, and make sure your lifestyle is a good fit for the breed! And for retractable leashes: I’ve seen far more injuries caused to dogs and humans from retractable leashes compared to other leashes. End of explanation. For number 6: stop complaining about the wait times. We know it’s frustrating. The dirty truth, however, is the vast majority of the time it’s NOT the fault of the hospital staff. It’s other owners and the cases we are seeing. #fyp #comedyvideo #satire #doglover #catlover #petlover #vetsoftiktok #drbozelka


Hence why his gut reaction when he hears someone refer to a breeder’s opinion as gospel is to “cringe.”

Even breeders agreed on this one. One wrote, “As a breeder I never give medical advice. I say: ‘please go see your vet.’ Maybe because I’m also a vet tech.”

Ick # 2 - Doing the opposite of what the vet says they would do

Next on the list: when someone asks, “If this were your dog what would you do?" then proceeds to do the opposite of what he’d do.

“Bro, why did you even ask me?” he says in the clip. Seriously, why ask if you're not even going to take the information to heart?

University Of Washington Dog GIF by Pac-12 NetworkGiphy

Ick # 3 - Not accommodating a dog that needs lots of activity

Some people desperately want, say, a husky dog because they're so beautiful and so smart. But breeds like that also have very high activity needs that require some pretty significant lifestyle changes. And yet, people complain when that same breed of dog is tearing up the house all the time because they're not giving them the physical activity outlets they require.

In other words, you can put a dog bred to race sleds through the snow into a 12' by 12' living room and expect them to just happily chill there.

Ick #4 - Buying a pet after doing zero research on the specific needs of the breed

Along the lines of the husky example, pet owners really need to understand the breed of animal they are getting.

“I cannot stress this enough: DO NOT JUST BUY A BREED BECAUSE IT’S CUTE! DO! YOUR! HOMEWORK!” Bozelka wrote in all caps.

Dog breeds in particular vary a lot and some have very specific needs that an owner may not be prepared to handle. Know what you're getting into before making a decade-plus long commitment to care for an animal.

@dr.bozelkaervet

True story… Legends has it that Hisoka aged another 2 years by the time she realized what was happening with him… Make sure to follow me on other platforms for when TikTok inevitably gets banned! YouTube: @Dr.BozelkaERvet1 Facebook and Instagram: @Dr.BozelkaERvet #fyp #comedyvideo #catlover #doglover #petlover #animallover #vetsoftiktok #drbozelka

Ick #5 - Complaining about wait times at the ER

No one wants to be made to wait when their animal needs to be seen, but there's only so much that is under the staff's control.

“We know it’s frustrating,” Bozelka writes, “The dirty truth, however, is the vast majority of the time it’s NOT the fault of the hospital staff. It’s the other owner and the cases we are seeing."

Ick #6 - Retractable leashes

Lastly, Dr. Bozelka listed retractable leashes as an ick, simply because they’re so dangerous. He’s seen “far more injuries caused” by them in comparison to other leashes, so better to be safe than sorry.

While not every vet might have the same icks as Bozelka, it’s easy to see how any one in his situation would be aggravated. Vets undergo years of education and training to help give our pets the best life possible. And when we make their job even harder, frustration is inevitable.

Dr. Bozelka has also shared things pet owners do that vets love:

@dr.bozelkaervet

Replying to @konagirl02 May not be mah best work, but it’s still important work! There are plenty of things pet owners can do to make us happy, and most of them are pretty simple! And TRUST me, for those of you that are understanding and considerate of the wait times, the vet staffs are literally singing your praises and blessing your family and friends behind close doors because of how amazing you are! Being polite and understanding about your wait is a sure fire way to get a staff to love you (at least from an ER standpoint). #fyp #comedyvideo #catlover #doglover #petlover #animallover #vetsoftiktok #drbozelka

According to the website KeepingItPawsome.com, there are a few other behaviors that vets find frustrating, including:

Overfeeding, trusting “Dr. Google” over their professional opinion, being verbally abusive or getting hysterical in the waiting room, not having pet insurance or an emergency fund, waiting too long before brining the pet in to get a check up, expecting free treatment or reduced fees, giving up on sick or old pets, trying medications or supplements without consulting them (again, Google can’t always be trusted), and last but not least—expecting a quick and easy fix.

Vets want what’s best for our fur babies. So these are good things to remember as pet parents, so that we may better help them help us.

This article originally appeared last year.


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Health

Pro-choicer called a 'murderer,' hits back with hard questions about what 'pro-life' really means

Is your community going to help pay for healthcare and education costs?

via National Organization of Women

A 'Keep Abortion Legal' sign in Washington, D.C.

Calling a pro-choice person a "murderer" is a sadly common inflammatory insult hurled by pro-birthers. In true medical terms, terminating an embryo is terminating a multicellular diploid eukaryotic organism, not murdering a person. Nonetheless, people still invoke images of infanticide in order to demonize people advocating for reproductive health care access. Normalizing a debate around whether abortion is murder has only further stigmatized the very real existential threats women face without birth control and safe abortion access.

A recent screenshot posted on the Murdered by Words page showed a heated exchange between a pro-choicer and the pro-birth person who called them an advocate for murder. The pro-choicer ignored the initial insult of "murderer" and continued the conversation by grilling the pro-lifer about how they intend to help build a world where people can healthily raise children.

murdered by words, abortion, pro-life debate, pro-choice debate, women's rights, murder, abortion fightAn inflammatory text about abortion rights.via Reddit

The response read:

"What happens next? Once you have succeeded in your quest to stop the termination of a pregnancy - disregarding the circumstances for why the woman or couple wants to terminate (failed birth control, rape, lack of financial stability, unsuitable environment, domestic violence, mental health issues, lack of employment, medical issues, lack of comprehensive sexual education) - what happens next?"

"Who pays for the prenatal or postnatal care? Surely not a couple working a minimum wage who can barely afford their rent. Who provides healthcare and funds medical bills for a single woman with no place to live? Or a married couple who struggle to afford the children they already have? Who assists the millions of children in foster care, still waiting to be adopted? Who helps them when they hit the street at 18 with no money or life skills?"

Will you and your ilk - the self-proclaimed 'pro-life' community help to fund comprehensive sexual education for teens? How about access to affordable birth control? Why not promote a vasectomy as a viable option for men who don't want children? How about funding scientific research so men can have more birth control options than just condoms? Is your community going to help pay for healthcare and education costs? Once you have succeeded in stopping the termination of a pregnancy, what role will you have in ensuring a quality of life for the foetus you so desperately wanted to save?"

abortion, women's rights, pro-life, pro-choice, toronto, university of toronto, canadaPro-life protestors. via University of Toronto/Flickr

The pro-life person simply responded by claiming it's the parents' responsibility, which ushered in a final call out of the hypocrisy of many factions of the pro-life movement.

abortion, women's rights, pro-life, pro-choice, abortion debate, children, babies, protestsA pro-choice protestor holding a sign.via Steve Rhodes/Flickr

The pro-choicer's rebuttal ended with a bang, calling out all the ways the pro-birth community fails to support life after conception:

"And there's the money shot. Here's a wakeup call - you don't get to come into my inbox and sh*t all over my Sunday with your over-inflated Messiah complex with your Facebook profile filled with delusions of superiority declaring yourself to be on the side of "life." when in reality your compassion stops just inside the vaginal canal."
"Don't embarrass yourself and pretend that you give a flying f*ck about what happens once a foetus is born, or about the people who aren't equipped to raise them. Don't pretend you give a sh*t about children when you aren't prepared to do a damn thing about the millions of struggling families on welfare, or the millions of children in foster care."
Don't pretend you give a sh*t about life, when you would rather just sit by and smugly proclaim women should 'close their legs' because it's less energy to do so than it is to lobby for resources that would make it easier for people to become parents. Go away."

Suffice it to say, the pro-birther had no rebuttal after that.

Since this article was published in 2019, there have been massive shifts in abortion law in the United States. Several states began passing very restrictive abortion laws to challenge Roe v. Wade, the landmark 1973 Supreme Court Decision that made abortion legal throughout the United States. In 2022, the Supreme Court, bolstered by 6 to 3 conservative super majority, overturned Roe in the landmark Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization case. The decision returned legal power to the states and, as a result, abortion was quickly banned or limited in states such as Alabama and Arkansas, and rights were strengthened in others, including California and Michigan.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

This article originally appeared six years ago on SomeeCards.

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