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Golden Years

7 'old people' sayings that are actually solid life advice at every age

"Make all your words sweet because tomorrow you may have to eat them."

Photo credit: Canva

Elder wisdom can come in handy.

With age comes wisdom, or at least we hope it does. As we get older, we collect life lessons that we can pass along to younger generations, sometimes with lengthy stories and sometimes with quippy sayings.

Adages like "A penny saved is a penny earned," or "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise," have been part of our collective treasure chest of life advice for generations, but the aphorisms that spring from the experience of our loved ones and mentors are often the most meaningful.

Someone shared that they'd read and appreciated this old man's advice: “My grandpa once told me 'if you get on the wrong train, get off at the nearest station, the longer it takes you to get off, the more expensive the return trip will be.' He wasn’t talking about trains.” The person asked for more tidbits of wisdom from old folks and people started sharing sayings they heard from their elders growing up.

Here are some of the best "old man advice" sayings and how they can be applied in a person's life.

"You might miss what’s ahead of you if you keep concentrating on what’s in the rear view mirror."

Another commenter put it another way: "Don't look behind you, you aren't going that way." This adage is about not dwelling on the past. Many of us have a tendency to spend more time mentally in the past, rehashing old memories or being nostalgic for what once was, than we do in the present or looking forward to the future. There's nothing wrong with a little reflection, but if most of our focus is in the past, we miss out on the present. Rear view mirrors are for quick glances, not where our focus should be.

"Do the right thing, even if nobody is watching."

This saying is about good character and true integrity. If you notice someone drop a $20 bill and no one is around to see but you, do you give it back to them or do you pick it up and keep it? If you realize that a store didn't charge you for an item, do you point it out and make it right or do you allow the mistake to remain? There are opportunities each day for us to choose between right and wrong, and those choices really speak to who we are if they are made without anyone else knowing.

 integrity, right, wrong, right thing, doing good lisa simpson help GIF  Giphy  

"Be nice to everybody you meet on the way up the ladder. You'll see the same faces on the way down "

Don't get cocky and don't burn bridges you think you won't need to return to. There's value in being kind for its own sake, but there's also the reality that being kind also makes people like you. When people like you, they're more likely to lend you a helping hand, and you never know when you're going to be in a position to need one. It's also a good reminder that you're not inherently better than anyone else just because of where you are in life. We're all constantly in flux, so it's important to stay humble and kind.

In other words, "Make all your words sweet because tomorrow you may have to eat them."

"One of the most powerful negotiating tools is silence."

The power of silence in general is often underrated, but it can be an especially useful tool in a negotiation. Some people are so uncomfortable with silence that they will make concessions simply to avoid it. And sometimes the best response to an unreasonable demand is to just say nothing and stare, letting the other party come to the realization themselves. It takes calm confidence to simply be quiet and let the silence fill the room, which can feel surprisingly intimidating.

"Always listen to your gut, even if you can’t explain it."

Ah, the strange and mysterious sense of intuition that we can't really describe but know when we feel it. Whether it's getting a creepy vibe about a person or a little voice telling you to do or not do something, those "gut instincts" can serve us well. Of course, if we are prone to anxiety, our instincts can sometimes be confused with anxious thoughts, but "go with your gut" is solid advice anyway.

 gut feeling, listen to your gut, go with your gut, intuition, discernment  Listen To It Season 1 GIF by The Roku Channel  Giphy  

“It doesn’t matter what path you’re on if it’s the wrong mountain.”

Sometimes people trying to find their way end up hitting roadblock after roadblock, which may mean they just haven't found the right path yet or might mean they need an entire overhaul of their life. That might look like switching career paths entirely, rather than trying to find a job in your field that fits. It might mean changing majors in the middle of your studies when you find yourself not enjoying any of your classes. It might mean finding a new community or reevaluating your relationships.

"The harder I work, the luckier I get."

Several sayings line up with this one, like "Luck is the intersection of preparation and opportunity," and "Luck favors the prepared mind." There's a lot to be said for fortune and hard work going hand in hand. If we expect good things to just land in our lap, we will likely be disappointed, but if we move in the direction of things we want to happen and do the work of preparing for good things to come our way, "luck" frequently seems to follow.

 luck, hard work, lucky, good luck, napoleon dynamite  Napoleon Dynamite GIF by Ben L  Giphy  

Finding a saying that resonates can be really helpful when we're facing a specific challenge in life, especially when we commit it to memory and repeat it often.

This article originally appeared in March.

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How a group of 'badass' nuns became the heart and soul of a beloved Los Angeles film festival

"Film is the great connector."

'Rebel Hearts'/Discovery Plus

Nuns from the The Sisters of the Immaculate Heart of Mary march in a 1960s protest

On July 16th, 2025, the 29th annual LA Shorts International Film Festival opened in Downtown Los Angeles at the Regal LA Live Theater. An Oscar- and BAFTA-qualifying event, opening night of the two week festival featured a red carpet, a slate of four acclaimed short films, and pulled in a crowd of over one thousand attendees.

Four hundred seventy films will be showcased between July 16-28, including only one feature film in the sea of shorts: Rebel Hearts, a 2021 documentary directed by Pedro Kos, screened for free on Saturday, July 19th.

The Rebel Hearts film website shares:

"In 1960s Los Angeles, a trailblazing group of nuns, The Sisters of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, bravely stood up to the patriarchy of the Catholic Church fighting for equality, their livelihoods, and their own freedom against an all-powerful Cardinal who sought to keep them in their place. Their bold acts of faith, defiance and activism turned the Church upside down, helping to reshape our society in ways that continue to resonate today. From marching in Selma in 1965 to the Women’s March in 2018, they challenged the notion of what a nun and a woman were supposed to be.

Anita Caspary, Helen Kelley, Pat Reif, and iconic pop artist Corita Kent were devoted to a life of service, not only to other but to themselves—forming a community that empowered each sister to live up to her fullest potential. Their desire to bring the church into modern life was met with forceful opposition at every turn. As each of them discovered their own talents and voices, they full stepped into their roles as leaders in a movement that is still making waves.

The Sisters of the Immaculate Heart of Mary became the Immaculate Heart Community (ICH), an inclusive ecumenical community based in Los Angeles that has sponsored opening night of the LA Shorts Film Festival for the last three years.

I attended both opening night and the July 19th screening of Rebel Hearts courtesy of IHC and was moved by the film that was artful, informative, and filled with grace as it followed the sisters who merely wanted two things: to serve Christ and to live their lives as their authentic selves.

"We may seem like strange bedfellows," said Sherry L. Purcell, IHM, Ph.D., president of Immaculate Heart Community, as she addressed the crowd on opening night. "What do a bunch of nuns have to do with a film festival?"

Today, however, Immaculate Heart is no longer a community of nuns. "We are a community without walls," says Purcell. One that welcomes women and men, gay, straight, and all LGBTQ, and all religions and faith practices to fight injustice against immigrants, the environment, women, BIPOC, and the unhoused. "We are anti-racist. We strive to strategically impede practices that disrupt human development. We are for diversity, equity, and inclusion," Purcell continued to warm applause.

Founded in 1997 by Robert Arentz, the LA Shorts International Film Festival is one of the largest, most prestigious, and longest-running short film festivals in the world. It's connection with IHC, however, began just a few years ago thanks to Pam Hope, Immaculate Heart's director of mission advancement. A longtime friend of Arentz, Hope told Upworthy she reached out to him in hopes of helping IHC become "more relevant" with young people in Los Angeles.

"Pam got us connected with the film festival my first year as president and I thought, 'Oh, this is kind of a leap,'" Purcell told Upworthy. "But then I could see it. I could see what we needed to do to open people's hearts through stories."

 LA Shorts, Immaculate Heart, IHC, film festival, films Immaculate Heart Community sponsors opening night of the LA Shorts International Film FestivalKathryn Ross

"On opening night they select and show justice films," Hope noted. "Films that speak to current issues and raise awareness for what's going on in the world and our community." This year, opening night featured four shorts:

  • Como si la tierra se las hubiera tragado an animated short on femicide and gender-based violence in Mexico directed by Natalia León that won the jury award at the Sundance Film Festival.
  • The Letter, a documentary from German director Oliver Würffell that tells the story of his how his great-grandfather was executed by Nazis for refusing military service.
  • Classroom 4, a documentary directed by Eden Wurmfield on the prison system that won Best Documentary at Aspen Shortsfest.
  • Walud, a German-Syrian film directed by Daood Alabdulaa and Louise Zenker about Amuna, a woman whose husband, an ISIS fighter, takes a young second wife.

Rebel Hearts fits right in as it tells a story of fighting for social justice, human rights, and progressivism in spiritual communities.

Under the control of Cardinal McIntyre, who served as archbishop of Los Angeles from 1948 to 1970, the sisters were told when they could talk, when and how they could pray, and how they could dress. They were also used as free labor for the various grade schools Cardinal McIntyre holds a legacy for building across LA County, often forced to teach bloated classroom sizes with little to no training (save for the college degrees they worked on simultaneously to carry out their teaching jobs).

The film focuses heavily on four key women who also narrate the events through a series of interviews: the late Anita Caspary, Ph.D. (Sister Mary Humiliata), who was the Mother General of the Immaculate Heart of Mary Sisters, the late Helen Kelley, Ph.D., (Sister William), who was the president of Immaculate Heart College, the late Pat Reif, Ph.D., a professor at Immaculate Heart College, and the late Corita Kent (Sister Mary Corita), famed pop artist who began as a sister and educator and gained the most attention and pushback from the Cardinal.

Though righteous and progressive in the face of archaic tradition, the efforts of these women and hundreds of other sisters were met with extreme resistance from the powers in charge during the 1960s. In a 2021 review of the film, Variety noted that though some victories such as the "groundbreaking outcomes" of the Second Vatican Council (1962-1965) which "sought to modernize certain Church traditions for a 20th century public" were won, the film shows how their resistance ultimately led to some 300 sisters asking to be released from their vows, thus leading them to found the "secular" Immaculate Heart Community in 1970.

Fifty-five years later, the community is thriving with 40 original members. One member, 94-year old Lenore Dowling (who attended the festival's opening night and whom Hope dubs "a badass"), is just as active in the community as ever. She can be seen in the film's opening scene marching with sign in hand at the 2018 Women's March in Los Angeles and most recently demonstrated with other community members during a No Kings March in June 2025.

After the film screening, I sat down with Sherry L. Purcell, Pam Hope, and Mary Kirchen (a current member of the IHC who just missed joining the Sisters in the late 60s) to talk more about the community, the legacy of Rebel Hearts, and the future of Immaculate Heart Community.

Upworthy: Given today’s political climate, how do you see what IHC went through in the 60s and 70s in comparison to what we’re facing today, specifically in America?

Sherry L. Purcell: I’ve been president of the community for two and a half years and I really do feel that what they did, the work they did in the 1970s, was very prophetic for our times. We are a “community without laws.” We’re not nuns, we don’t live in convents, we’re inclusive—we have men, women, gay straight, everyone—and our faith-based practices are inclusive of everybody. We also have a very active justice and social justice orientation in our work, so we commission justice for women, for the environment, for immigrants and indigenous people, the unhoused. We even have a commission called 'Anti-racism and Spiritual Transformation,' so our members are very active in those movements and with other organizations doing similar work.

[In the film] Anita Caspary was asked, “What do you think the impact would be on the Roman Catholic Church what we’re doing? Is this going to be a problem further in the church? Her response was that this actually might be the solution to bring life back into the church, which is the way we see our “community without laws.” We are founded in Christianity, but we honor all faith traditions and much of the practices we do in our prayer life reflect that. In terms of today, there are a lot of people who have turned away from organized religion and are looking for spiritual life and growth in a community of believers and people. People are also oriented around social justice. That’s who we are and I think we have something to offer people. When we come together as a community, we come together with that commonality of love and wanting to do good in the world.

Mary Kirchen: There’s something that touched me when I was watching again: There're several snippets that stand out. (Helen) Kelley talked about “rocking the boat” and being in a boat that “desperately needed to be rocked.” It’s interesting because in church architecture, churches themselves are built like boats, and the word “ecumenism” has to do with that symbolism, and so we’re in a boat together, right? Just like Jesus was on a boat in Galilee…and so that symbolism was interesting because the boat needed to be rocked and the boat still needs to be rocked.

I think one of the boundaries is being rooted in Jesus. We talk about Christianity, but I think there’s a slight difference in being rooted in Jesus and what’s happening in Christianity right now. Corita was asked how she felt about what happened [to the Sisters], and she said she didn’t want to talk about it, but she was the one who asked [the Cardinal and the archdiocese], “What would Jesus do?” when the Sisters were being questioned and scrutinized. In our goal statement we talk about being rooted in Jesus and united with the people of God, and that's why. It's a relationship, not a religion.

Upworthy: [Sherry] referred to the IHC and the film festival as sort of “strange bedfellows” at opening night. You’ve sponsored opening night of the festival for the last three years, so do you feel this is a chance to connect with a more secular space and crowd without being overtly spiritual? How do you view the connections you’ve made and what do you hope to see from it?

Pam Hope: In the Immaculate Heart community, the values in the work are ever present. We want to reach out to people who aren’t affiliated or who don’t feel they have a spiritual home, and many have that yearning (for spiritual community) and art is a really great connector. The secular nature of this short film festival is actually a great place because a lot of the films have deeper meaning, speak to social justice and highlight that—and we have that in common.

Mary Kirchen: As a human being, I am in relationship with creation and I get to do that. And in a sense of thinking about that relationship, there’s something bigger...and I call that something God. The relationship here opens dialogues about our identities and who we are, makes way for deeper conversations. It’s an opening to an opportunity, and film is an opportunity.

Sherry L. Purcell: I think the creativity that comes through these films ultimately will have so much power to speak to the love we’re trying to bring forward. Look at Rebel Hearts…we couldn’t tell that story that same way if not through film, if not on the screen.

Mary Kirchen: It's the power of films. Film is the great connector. One of the gifts of having experienced change—because change is our partner—is to be a convener. Our relationship in the traditional education fashion has changed: we don’t have teachers in schools much anymore, but we create a different model and we’re still convening people and asking them, what is the root of why you’re coming together? Art and film allows us to do that.

Upworthy: Though the women of Rebel Hearts fought so hard for their rights, they still ended up leaving the Catholic church in the end. Some could look at that as a failure, but then this community came out of it, so was it a failure? Was it a victory?

Sherry L. Purcell: Well that speaks to the prophetic nature of the community. They were bucking the male hierarchy saying women can’t be involved, women have to essentially be enslaved in the church structure, and these women said, “Hell no! We’re going to do something different” and we’re still here 55 years later and we have something valuable to offer to people, to the world turning away from the traditional church. In fact, just last year, Nellie Scott, the director of the Corita Arts Center in the Arts District of downtown Los Angeles called me and said the center had been invited to the Vatican and they wanted to do an exhibit of Corita’s art at the Venice Biennale. It was held in a women’s prison and they showed Corita’s artwork there and the imprisoned women were able to act as docents. Nellie got to meet Pope Francis, who recognized the power of Corita’s artwork...so even though [Corita's] gone, she's not really. She’s alive and kicking too.

Mary Kirchen: It's also about the importance of being joyful. Yes, there’s tough things happening, there are injustices people experience, and that causes confusion of spiritual identity: Why are we doing this? Why does it matter? If you don’t witness with integrity, why the hell are you doing it? At one point in the film, priests from the Vatican tell the Sisters to just pretend they're following the rules to avoid the wrath of Cardinal McIntyre, but not actually do what they say they're doing. But they had integrity. The decision was made, and every person who made that choice signed not only the document saying she wanted to be released from her vows, but the documents that claimed the identity of what was going to happen going forward. Unfortunately I didn’t get to sign that because I wasn’t a nun then, but I remember.

Pam Hope: I know so many other sisterhoods and religious groups point to us as being pioneers. Without Immaculate Heart, others said they would have “stayed in their habits,” stayed “cloistered,” and wouldn’t have had such a social justice bent. The impact has definitely been seen in modern religious activities, especially in the Catholic church.

Mary Kirchen: One of the affirming things is for us to understand how we are seen [by the world]. That’s what helps us. Again, it's a relationship with God and with God's people.

Sherry L. Purcell: The work we’re doing today stands on the shoulders of the women who formed the organization in the 70s. They were rebels and I think we aspire to be rebels.

  - YouTube  youtu.be  

Today, Immaculate Heart Community still has many irons in the fire. They currently host a Lunch and Learn Lecture series that invites local leaders of social justice initiatives to their building in Echo Park to speak about issues and efforts for change in Los Angeles and beyond. They are also soon launching a "Power Up with Prayer" initiative that invites people of all faith traditions to pause at noon every day and pray for the country.

As for the LA Shorts International Film Festival, IHC plans to continue sponsoring the event's opening night and making connections within the industry. "Moving forward, we hope that our involvement with the film festival will be a year-long presence rather than a keystone moment of the festival itself," Hope noted.

"Last year, we gave awards to five short films that Bob [Arentz] flagged as really highlighting social justice," added Purcell. "This year, we want to do the same thing but expand it even after the festival. We're going to invite filmmakers who have received awards to join with us and talk about their films, showcase related films, and start a dialogue about the issues they tackle."

Learn more about becoming a friend of the Immaculate Heart Community on their website and Instagram, and stream Rebel Hearts on HBO Max.

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Kindergarteners in 1949 were asked to draw their dads from memory. The results are stunning.

The portraits were even featured in Life Magazine.

Photo by Hans Isaacson on Unsplash

Young girl drawing a face.

It was just another day in West Hartford, Connecticut. The year was 1949 and the place was Sedgwick Elementary School. Father's Night was approaching, so Kindergarten teacher Doris Morcom asked her young students to draw portraits of their dads. From the Inside History (via @Life) Instagram description, "Each child drew a portrait of their father entirely from memory."

What made this extra special was that Al Fenn, a photographer from Life Magazine was there to photograph the children with their fathers holding up the drawings. They revealed "portraits that were both delightfully imperfect and surprisingly accurate, offering a tender glimpse in the way children see their parents."

Fenn, incidentally, spent 15 years at Life Magazine, creating some diverse, iconic photos. The Life website shares, "In 1931, as a gift on his first visit to Europe, Al Fenn (1912-1995) was given a Leica. By the time he returned to the States, his 'heart now belonged to photography.'"

In each picture, the children seemed to beam while their fathers looked, by contrast, somewhat serious. These photos have been posted on many social media sites, but on the Inside History reel, many of the commenters mention how business-like the fathers looked in their suits. One writes, "Not ONE dad looks happy from the results." But this gets some push back from, well, a middle aged man. "They are happy. This is how middle aged white dudes look when we're happy. I feel so misunderstood."

Another points out it was of the time to be more conservative in photos, as one didn't get as many takes back in the day. "Some of the biggest smiles you'll see in a pic from this time period."

A common theme is the idea that the fathers look older than your average dad in 2025. Someone counters, "These pictures were accurate. I find it interesting that many people are saying the dads look old when in reality, I think we are just being so inundated with people chasing youth and wanting to look forever 20-something. We don't realize that these people, these fathers, look normal."

On the lighter side, many also mention how strangely on point the portraits are. One jokes, " To be fair, I couldn’t even draw a picture of my dad while looking directly at my dad." It's also noted how deeply proud these children seem, not only with their work as artists, but as their role as kids to these dads. "Look how proud the kids are," one commenter exclaims.

Some note the similarities that a few of them look to celebrities, particularly Brian Cranston and John Cena.

 Bryan Cranston, actor, celebrity, look alike, photos Bryan Cranston at the 2014 Peabody Awards.  en.m.wikipedia.org  

Their teacher, Ms. Morcom, wound up teaching for 35 years and just passed a few years ago at the age of 87. Most likely, she could not have known how impactful her sweet idea to have the kids draw their dads would be. And as an extra little treat? The fathers then took an aim at drawing her, which they proudly held up to be photographed.

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Relationship expert shares 4 signs you're the 'fringe friend' and what to do about it

Feeling like you've been pushed to the outside of your friend circle?

via Canva/Photos

A woman feels left out of her friend group.

Do you ever get the feeling that you are the “fringe friend” in a social circle? You’re not quite part of the “core” group—although you may have been at some point—and these days you feel like more of an afterthought. You may get invited to the big events, but miss out on smaller lunches, and feel out of the loop on the core group’s day-to-day lives.

Feeling excluded can be hurtful and stressful. You end up wondering to yourself: Am I worthy of being a friend? Did I do something wrong? You may also feel pressured to attend every event you’re invited to because it may be your last. Dr. Christie Ferrari shared the pain of being a “fringe friend” in a recent Instagram post that received millions of views.

Ferrari is a Johns Hopkins-trained clinical psychologist with a background in CBT, DBT, behavioral psychology, and motivational models.

Here are Ferrari’s four signs you’re the “fringe friend” and why it hurts more than you think.


1. You know everyone's story, but no one stops to ask you yours.

In this imbalance, you know everything about your friends, but they know nothing about you, leaving you feeling invisible.

2. You used to be the one who always reached out. But after being ignored or canceled on too many times, you gave up—and no one noticed.

This is a huge indicator of a relationship that’s out of balance. "They noticed when you offered something but not when you pulled back," Ferrari told Newsweek. "That's because they valued the function, not the friendship."

3. You brought two people together, and now they hang out without you.

It can be extremely painful when you get aced out of a relationship that you helped create.

4. They say you're always welcome, but never actually invite you.

Ferrari calls this “passive” exclusion, where you’re neither left out nor exactly invited.

 outcast, fringe friend, sad woman, high school kids, left out A woman is left out of a group project.via Canva/Photos

The viral video inspired others in the comments to add their signs that you’re a “fringe friend” as well. “You show up for their events and they don’t show up for yours,” a commenter wrote. “Add in: you show up to the event alone but somehow everyone else carpooled,” another added.

One commenter perfectly explained the pain: “Social media makes being the fringe friend even harder. You see all the times you weren’t invited…”

Ferrari did a great job of explaining what it means to be the fringe friend, but she didn’t leave everyone hanging. In another Instagram post, she shared three pieces of advice for fringe friends if they’re tired of feeling like an outcast. As the old saying goes, you can’t change people, only how you react to them. Here’s how you can react differently.

Three things to stop doing if you're tired of being the fringe friend


1. Stop being the only one to reach out; you're chasing them. Pause for two to three weeks and see who notices the space you used to fill.

2. Stop overexplaining; it signals you don't fully belong. Instead, stick to two to three sentences max; it stops your urge to prove yourself.

3. Stop hiding parts of yourself to be accepted; people can't connect fully with you if you do. Instead, say one honest thing per hangout.

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5 'core' childhood memories your kid will cherish forever, according to a psychologist

No lavish vacation or expensive toys necessary.

Photo credit: Canva

A psychologist breaks down the 5 types of core memories your kid will cherish forever

There’s a popular trend where parents often share they are creating “core memories” for their children on social media posts, whether it’s planning an elaborate vacation or creating an extra-special holiday moment. While it’s important for parents to want their kids to have happy childhoods, sometimes it feels presumptuous when they believe they can manufacture a core memory. Especially when a child’s inner world is so different than an adult's.

The concept of "core memories" was made mainstream in 2015 thanks to Disney's Inside Out. In it, "core memories" are born from moments and experiences that majorly shape a part of the main character, Riley's, personality. The experience(s) can be grand or benign; the point is these moments are ultimately forming Riley into the person she is. Seems pretty hard to manufacture such a moment, but parents are certainly trying.

 core memories, creating core memories, parenting, kids, psychologist, child psychology, psychologist A "core memory" from 'Inside Out II' media4.giphy.com  

Carol Kim, a mother of three and licensed Marriage and family Therapist, known as Parenting.Resilience on Instagram, recently shared the “5 Things Kids Will Remember from Their Childhood” on her page. The fascinating insight is that none of the entries had to do with extravagant vacations, over-the-top birthday parties, or Christmas gifts that kids could only dream about.

According to Kim, the five things that kids will remember all revolve around their parents' presence and support. "Notice how creating good memories doesn’t require expensive toys or lavish family trips. Your presence is the most valuable present you can give to your child,” Kim wrote in the post’s caption.

 


1. Quality time together

"Taking some time to focus only on your child is very special. Playing games, reading books, or just talking can create strong, happy memories. These moments show your child that you are present with them."

2. Words of encouragement

"Encouraging words can greatly impact your child during both good times and tough times. Kids often seek approval from their parents and your positive words can be a strong motivator and source of comfort.... It can help kids believe in themselves, giving them the confidence to take on new challenges and keep going when things get tough."

3. Family traditions

“It creates a feeling of stability and togetherness … Family traditions make children feel like they belong and are part of a larger story, deepening their sense of security and understanding of family identity and values.”


 core memories, creating core memories, parenting, kids, psychologist, child psychology, psychologist Even the simplest tradition speaks volumes. Photo credit: Canva

4. Acts of kindness

“Seeing and doing kind things leaves a strong impression on children. It shows them the importance of being kind and caring. They remember how good it feels to help others and to see their parents helping too.”

5. Comfort during tough times

"Knowing they can rely on you during tough times makes them feel secure and build trust. … Comforting them when they're struggling shows them they are loved no matter what, helping them feel emotionally secure and strong."

Kim’s strategies are all beautiful ways to be present in our children’s lives and to communicate our support. However, these seemingly simple behaviors can be challenging for some parents who are dealing with issues stemming from their pasts.

“If you find barriers to providing these things, it’s important to reflect on why,” Kim writes in the post. “There could be several reasons, such as parenting in isolation (we’re not meant to parent alone), feeling overstimulated, dealing with past trauma, or struggling with mental health. Recognizing these challenges is the first step to addressing them and finding support.”

This article originally appeared last year.

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