upworthy
Culture

People share useless facts that simply won't leave their heads

A black and white sign outside a building that says "Trivia Night"
Photo by Sean Benesh on Unsplash

Some facts are only useful for trivia contests.

Ah, useless facts. Random knowledge that serves no purpose other than to take up space in our brains, and maybe, just maybe, win a trivia game (yeah right) or kill time at a party.

Leave it to Ask Reddit to resurface all things odd and amusing, though. People shared their own useless facts that live rent free in their heads. And though they might be pointless, they are certainly entertaining.

Without further do:

  Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.

Yep, this useless fact has stayed with us since elementary school. On the bright side, it’s been the source of many a fun meme.

Vending machines are more deadly than sharks.

Gif of a zombie vending machine in a graveyardanimation domination lol GIF by gifnewsGiphy

Think about this next time you go to retrieve a Snickers bar: Between 2002 and 2015, the National Electronic Surveillance System reported that vending machines caused four deaths per year in the U.S. Mostly due to people tipping the machines onto themselves.

Compare that to the shark-related deaths averaging out to just 0.6 deaths per year. Not sure how only about half of a person is considered dead, but math was never my strength.

This statistic might need to be taken with a grain of sea salt, however, given that those in landlocked states have next-to-zero chances of experiencing a shark attack. But there you have it, a useless fact to use when you’re at the beach.

Snails have teeth.

Gif of a snail biting someone's fingerhorror finger GIF by absurdnoiseGiphy

“They’re not big enough teeth to hurt humans. That’s what makes it a useless fact to know. & it won’t leave my head because it’s juuuuuust disturbing enough to make me rethink my entire opinion on snails.” – ghosts-go-boo

But cows do not.

At least, no upper front teeth. Makes chewing—and dentist visits—easier I suppose.

The Sun is about 400 times bigger than the Moon but also about 400 times farther away from Earth. So they look to be about the same size.

A black and white photo of a solar eclipse

A solar eclipse.

commons.wikimedia.org

This explains how the sun can be completely blocked in an eclipse.

Pigeons and doves are in the same bird family.

Gif of animated pigeons standing next to breadHappy Animation GIF by sahlooterGiphy

Columbidae is a subspecies of birds that are stout bodied, with short necks, and primarily feed on seeds, fruits and plants. Though one lives on as a symbol of peace and love, and the other is often considered a flying rat, the names are practically interchangeable.

However, thinking about Stevie Nicks singing, “just like a white-winged pigeon” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.

The length of a jiffy…

Gif of the Doc Brown from Back to the Futureback to the future great scott GIFGiphy

According to ScienceFocus.com, physicists use a “jiffy” to define how long light takes to travel one femtometer (which is a tiny fraction of a millimeter). In layman’s terms, one jiffy equals one-fiftieth of a second.

So next time you say, “be back in a jiffy,” know that you better return really, really, really fast.

Most corn is inedible for humans.

corn cob on teal surface

Who knew?

Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash

“1% of the corn grown in the USA is sweet corn (the corn you eat as corn). The other 99% is field corn (or dent corn), which is fairly inedible raw and needs to be processed before human consumption. This field corn is also what they use for non-edible corn products, like ethanol, paint, cosmetics, etc. Yes, most corn goes to livestock feed. Ethanol and High Fructose Corn Syrup are up there as well. Yes, if you're driving on a highway and are passing fields of corn, you very likely cannot eat it.” – Kat_lbltko1pl

Infants have flexible bones.

Gif of stretching baby in diaperstretching GIF by AFV BabiesGiphy

Ever wonder why toddlers seem so much more flexible? This is because a baby’s skeleton is very different from an adult's. Babies are born with about 300 bones (94 more than adults) that are joined together with pliable cartilage to make that whole birth thing possible. As they get older, the bones will fuse together. And suddenly that toe touch is nothing but a distant dream of the past.

Numbers from 1-999 don't have the letter "a" in word form.

white printing paper with numbers

Sorry if your math teacher never told you.

Photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash

Some vowels just don’t get the respect they deserve.

John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald are both known by three names. And each full name is composed of 15 letters.

Gif of Milhouse dressed as Abraham Lincoln behind textsurprised season 4 GIFGiphy

Actually, this is not entirely correct. Oswald’s full name was not used until after Kennedy’s assassination, due to his habit of adopting false names.

Cockroaches molt.

Unlike a reptile shedding it’s skin, cockroaches molt out of their entire exoskeleton. Out crawls a soft, fleshy, ghostly-white creature that will turn brown over a few hours. You’re welcome for the nightmare fuel.

There you have it. Gems of wisdom no one asked for. They say knowledge is power. But in this case, I’d say knowledge is unnecessary. But still fun!

This article originally appeared three years ago.

From Your Site Articles
Related Articles Around the Web
interesting
Joy

Adorable Golden Retriever absolutely loses it when he runs into his vet at a bar

No one has ever been this excited to see their doctor.

@cosmo_andtheoddparents/TikTok

He wuvs his vet.

Not every dog might jump with joy after seeing their vet out in public. But for Cosmo the Golden Retriever, it was practically Christmas all over again when he spotted his own vet, Dr. Jones, at a brewery.

In an adorable clip posted to TikTok, we see Cosmo in pure, unadulterated bliss as he snuggles with an equally happy Dr. Jones, who, considering he’s still in his scrubs, might have just gotten out of work to grab a quick pint.

Watch:

@cosmo_andtheoddparents When you run into your vet in public #goldenretrieversoftiktok #vetlife #animallovers #petparents #goldenretriever #goldenretrievers #doglife #dogmom #dailyfluff #charlestondogs #doglover #charlestondog #brewerydog ♬ original sound - Cosmo

Ugh, the cuteness is too much to handle! People in the comments could barely contain their secondhand joy.

“He looked over like, “Mom, do you see who this is?” one person wrote, while another said, “What in the Hallmark movie? Adorable!!”

One person even joked, “Did we all check the vet’s hand for a wedding ring? (Said as a married woman. Looking out for you all, or something.)”

According to Hannah Dweikat, Cosmo’s owner, the two actually share quite a history. She tells Upworthy that when Cosmo was but a wee pup, he “gave a scare” after eating a Sago Palm seed, which are highly toxic to dogs, from a plant in their backyard, which of course resulted in him being rushed to the animal hospital and staying there over the weekend.

While that’s every pet owner’s worst nightmare, and certainly a scary situation for the poor fur baby, Dweikat says that “the calm and patient demeanor” of Dr. Jones and his staff put Cosmo at ease. And because of this, “Cosmo has always loved going to see his friends—especially because they give him lots of treats and snuggles.”

Cosmo and Dr. Jones’ buddyship has also blossomed thanks to proximity, as Dweikat only lives down the street from the clinic. “Which means we get to see Dr. Jones and his staff out in public at times and Cosmo takes every chance he can get to say hi,” she explains. This time, however, she was able to capture it all on video. Yay for us!

What makes a good vet?

While not every vet, however gifted, will be able to elicit this type of reaction from their patients, having a calming presence like Dr. Jones is certainly a good sign for pet owners to be on the lookout for when shopping around for their own vet. But that’s not the only quality a good vet needs. According to Saint Matthews University, a vet also needs to have high stamina (both physically and mentally), as well as an ability to tolerate unpleasant situations (you can’t faint at the sight of blood or vomit), a high level of emotional intelligence (maybe all doctors should possess this skill, but especially those who work with animals), adaptability, a sense of enthusiasm, and finally, excellent communication skills.

Dr. Jones seems to have these attributes in spades, and his patients clearly love him for it. None so much as Cosmo, obviously.

By the way, if you’re in need of even more content featuring this precious pup, you can follow Cosmo on both TikTok and Instagram.

This article originally appeared in February

From Your Site Articles
dogs
Humor

Gen Zers hilariously try to explain to other generations what makes them laugh

"Half of Gen Z doesn't even get their own memes."

Canva

Gen Z doesn't get their own humor.

When it comes to jokes, some generations love a very clear set-up-punch. "My wife is so lazy she… ba dum tss!"

For Gen Xers, "storytelling jokes" became more popular, made famous by the likes of Janeane Garofalo, Patton Oswalt, and David Cross. You were there for the hilarity peppered throughout a story, rather than the traditional short-form approach. Think Louis C.K., John Mulaney, or Kevin Hart.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

But on the subreddit group r/outoftheloop, a blatant question was posed: "What is up with Gen Z humor?"

The question comes from a very earnest place. A 35-year-old Millennial woman simply wants to connect more with her 22-year-old Gen Z sister. The OP (@trainstationpoet) writes, "She is the best marshmallow squishy ray of light I’ve ever known. When I see her I just want to connect in every way possible to get that sibling good-good. She sends me some memes like this one and I genuinely do not understand ANY of them."

There is a link to Know Your Meme, which contains a picture of the following: a stick figure drawing of a smoking man with a hat entering through a door into a bunch of squiggles and capital "As." On top, it says "Are Ya Winning, Son? Don't forget to play The Last of Us too.." (I, too, am stumped.)

She then shares the same website with a piece entitled, "13 Reminders That Gen Z Kids Are Still The Future (Of Memes)" with different examples of what generations might find funny. Even the intro paragraph could be read as sarcastic, so wait—is THAT Gen Z humor?

For example, someone (and there doesn't seem to be a byline) writes, "There's nothing like a dose of good old generational stereotyping to distinguish between the different age groups. Boomers are the 'selfish and entitled ones' (depending on your age), whereas Millennials are the different, more self-aware brand of selfish and entitled (or self-loathing). As for Gen Z, they've got bigger fish to deep-fry than entering an argument about whether or not they're repeating the pattern."

They add, seemingly more sincerely, "The youngest generation is truly one of the strangest, because they laugh at their pain in a way that older generations haven't been able to. And there's something kind of endearing about that, in a messed-up sort of way. The cheerful pessimism and absurdist nature of Zoomer humor reminds us that even if everything won't be okay for the youth of today, at least they've gotten pretty good at making some truly detached and meaningless jokes online, as these examples remind us."

They then proceed to share memes to exemplify this premise. One, also sourced from Reddit, is titled "Le Gen Z has arrived." Underneath, it says "Boomer humor: Bad Wife, Millennial humor: Bad Life, Gen Z humor:" and it's merely a cartoon of a dog giving side-eye to a pink "beast version" of said dog who seems to be pawing a blue "beast version" of said dog and… oh never mind, I don't get it!

meme, side eye, gif, dog, gen z, humorSide Eye Dog Meme GIFGiphy

Back on the Reddit thread, the OP adds, "What I really don’t understand is the ‘why’ of the Gen Z humor. Boomer = low-hanging fruit that is 25% funny, 75% putting down other people. Millennial humor is self-deprecating jokes about wanting to be dead. Gen X humor is… idk, I never hear about them honestly. Then Gen Z humor (to me) is about taking acid, ending up on the astral plane and saying one to five words that vaguely represent the picture in the meme."

There are thousands of comments. One Redditor offers sound advice, which is essentially not to show fear. "Best advice to add: Don't say you don't get the meme. Half of Gen Z doesn't even get their own memes. You just sound old if you say that. The memes go fast and don't stick for long, so if you don't get it, don't ask about it."

Another explains that trends change so quickly for Zoomers, they want to make it seem like they're always keeping up. "When people hear ‘meme’ they expect a joke generally. I don’t think that’s how Gen Z sees it. Being in the know is the important part for them. I’m reminded of fashion trends… in my personal opinion, many fashion trends are ridiculous, memes are now fashion trends, it’s not about funny it’s about popular."

memes, gifs, confusing meme, gen z humor, generational humorMeme Reaction GIF by TokkingheadsGiphy

Many add that the jokes are deeply layered and purposely confusing. And when one starts to go down the rabbit hole, it actually is pretty brilliant in all its absurdity.

Bottom line, everything about Gen Z's humor is perfectly summed up by this comment: "Apparently postmodernism includes post-postmodernism."

From Your Site Articles
gen z
Internet

A nail salon made an ad so funny that people are taking road trips just for a manicure

Nailed it.

Representative photos by Wonderlane|Flickr and Aris Leoven|Canva

This Canadian nail salon has people packing their bags for a manicure

There are a lot of nail salons out there and, without word of mouth recommendations from people you trust, it can be impossible to know which salon to visit. Thanks to social media, though, many businesses have pages where they can advertise their services without having to spend a lot of money on traditional marketing practices like television, billboards, and radio. Doing their marketing using pictures and videos of their amazing work can help keep a steady flow of customers coming—but one Canadian nail salon is going with a slightly different approach.

Henry Pro Nails in Toronto, Canada is leaving the Internet in stitches after creating a viral ad for his nail salon. The video takes the beginnings of several viral video clips but instead of the expected ending, Henry pops in completing the viral moment in hilarious different ways.

It opens with a familiar viral video of a man on a stretcher being pulled by EMS when the stretcher overturns, flopping the man onto the ground. But instead of it ending with the injured man on the ground, Henry seamlessly appears laid out on the floor of his salon and delivers his first line, "Come to my nail salon. Your nails will look beautiful."

nails, nail salon, manicure, henry's pro nails, adsRihanna Nails GIFGiphy

In another clip, a man holds his leg straight up and somehow flips himself into a split. When the camera cuts back to Henry, he's in the splits on the floor of his nail salon promoting loyalty discounts. The ad is insanely creative and people in the comments can't get enough. Some are even planning a trip to Toronto just to get their nails done by the now Internet famous top nail artist in Canada. This isn't Henry's first rodeo making creative ads, but this is one is without a doubt his most popular—and effective.

"I will fly to Canada to get my nails done here just because of this hilarious video. You win this trend for sure," one woman says.

"Get yourself a passport and make a road trip! My bf and I are legit getting ours and its only a 4 hr drive from where we are in Pennsylvania. Their prices are a lot better than other places I've been too," another person says while convincing a fellow American citizen to make the trip.

"Omg, where are you located? I would fly to get my nails done by you," one person writes.

"The pedicure I had at Henry’s was the best I have ever had. Unfortunately made all other places disappointing and I don’t live close enough for Henry’s to be my regular spot," someone else shares.

To keep up with demand, in late October 2024 Henry's announced another location was coming soon in Vaughan, Ontario. Though there's no word on when the new "more spacious and professional facility" is opening just yet, customers can keep an eye out for Henry's next ad on social media.

It just goes to show that creative advertising can get people to go just about anywhere, but great service is what gets them to come back. If you're ever in Toronto (or Vaughan!) and find yourself needing an emergency manicure, Henry's Pro Nails is apparently the place to be.

This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles
nail salon
Humor

JD Vance accidentally dropped the college football championship trophy and people have jokes

We can still come together to make fun of politicians.

CBS News/Youtube & Michael Li/Flickr

JD Vance "fumbles" the coveted college football national championship trophy.

It's a tradition for sports teams that win major championships to receive the honor of visiting the White House and meeting the President. The Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles will be visiting soon. The World Series winning Los Angeles Dodgers visited earlier this year. And just this week, the national champions Ohio State Buckeyes took the stage with President Donald Trump and Vice President JD Vance, an Ohio State alum.

It was a simple photo opp. There would be no hard hitting questions from journalists about the economy or Russia. Everyone involved was there to simply celebrate the accomplishments of a talented and hard working group of young men in a controversy-free ceremony. What could possibly go wrong?

JD Vance had other plans. The moment he went to hoist the trophy, it appeared to quite literally fall apart in his hands.

Vance puzzled over the trophy for a moment as he tried to slide it toward himself. Then, as he began to lift it, the top half toppled over only to be caught by Ohio State running back TreVeyon Henderson before hitting the ground. You can actually hear the crowd gasping and holding their breath before Henderson saves it, all while the United States Marine Corps Band performs "We Are the Champions." You honestly couldn't script a more hilarious sequence if you hired Hollywood's funniest comedy writers.

To be fair, the college playoff national championship trophy is a little confusingly constructed. The bottom half is just a black stand for the trophy itself, which is the 26.5 inch tapered golden piece on top. So technically, Vance didn't break the trophy. He just didn't realize that it came apart in two pieces.

But it was too late. The blunder was caught by dozens and dozens of cameras, with the jokes about Vance "fumbling" the trophy nearly writing themselves.

Watch the wild video here:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Vance, the Internet's favorite punching bag as of late, suddenly found himself on the butt end of an avalanche of jokes.

Vance is no stranger to being made fun of on the Web. First, it was the theories that he wears eyeliner while simultaneously preaching about the death of masculinity. Then, it was enterprising social media users engaging in a war of one-upmanship to see who could create the most horrifying, bloated caricature of the VP.

And now, he can add this fumblerooski to his resume.

In a thread posted on the subreddit WatchPeopleDieInside, people came with their best jokes at Vance's expense:

"Ahh I see it's because the trophy didn't wear a suit and say thank you"

"That man has never held a trophy in his life."

"They are going to blame the Democrats for this."

On X, one user wrote, "JD Vance: Can't order donuts. Can't hold a normal conversation. Can't hold a trophy without breaking it."

Honestly, jokes were barely necessary. The photos are hilarious enough. The top half of the trophy tumbling limply into Vance's shoulder. Vance bending down, scrambling to pick up the base. It's all just *chefs kiss.*


People on the right had some fun at the VP's expense, too.

"Trophy must be made in China," one Reddit user joked.

"Dan Quail on steroids," added another.

Fox News couldn't help themselves, either. They made more than a few puns about Vance "fumbling" the trophy.

Even Vance himself had no choice but to try to take the mockery in stride.

The Trump administration is off to a controversial start, to put it extremely lightly. JD Vance's trophy snafu harkens back to a simpler time when we all came together to make fun of George W. Bush not knowing how to pronounce words or Gerald Ford tumbling down the stairs of Air Force One. There isn't much that's able to bring people from different sides of the aisle together anymore, and this one is just a minor blip in the grander scheme. But this little reprieve in the news cycle has definitely been a much needed source of comic relief.

From Your Site Articles
funny
Kids

A daring boy invited classmates to his birthday party. One problem: there was no birthday party.

One mom knew the invite seemed fishy, but couldn't believe her eyes when they showed up.

Canva Photos

A mischievous boy created his own DIY birthday invitations.

We've all heard the sob stories about kids who invite the whole class to their birthday party, only for no one to show up. It's heartbreaking and horrific and all too common. But who's ever heard of a story where people showed up, but there was no birthday party?!

One mom is going viral for sharing a laugh-out-loud story of a young boy's ingenuity. It all started with an innocent-enough birthday invitation her own son brought home from school.

surprise, surprise party, birthday party, birthday, parenting, kidsWhen the parents don't even know about it, that's a successful surprise party.Giphy

The mom, who goes by Bree on TikTok, tells the tale in a now-viral clip. She says her son brought home a homemade (very homemade) birthday invitation from school. It read, in child's handwriting, "Your invited to my birthday, yay!" On the back, the chicken scratch read, "Come over and play soccer, play FIFA, do the trampoline..." and more.

Bree was suspicious of the invite from the get-go, but figured the boy's parents had just let him make his own. As an exhausted dad, I can definitely imagine a scenario where my wife and I just give up completely and let our youngest write whatever the heck she wants to and hand them out herself. So, although the handwritten invite was a little weird, it was easily explainable.

But then the strikes started adding up. Bree's son told her that they didn't have to RSVP and that the party was the very next day.

Bree, being a cool mom, decided to roll with it and show up anyway. And that's when things got hilarious.

“I turn the corner—not one balloon inside, not one table, not one chair inside, just [the boy's] dad and his three uncles. That's it. The dad looks at me, kind of surprised, and I was like, ‘Hi, we're here for the birthday party!’ And he just says, ‘Oh, okay, my wife's not home.’”

After waiting around for other people to show up to the party (unsuccessfully), Bree and her son noticed the boy taking a cake out of the fridge so everyone could dig in. At that point, Bree was pretty certain there was no party and they high-tailed it out of there.

Watch her tell the hysterical story here:


@breesquirrely

Talk about stressed 😂😂 #relatable #kids #mom #family #fypシ #trending

Viewers had a lot of theories and takes on the whole awkward debacle.

The video has been viewed almost 10 million times to date, with thousands reaching out in the comments to share their appreciation for the story. Some loved that Bree's son was such a good friend that he was willing to show up anywhere, anytime:

"At least you know your son is ready to rock for anyone. He doesn’t need decorations, cake, or even other guests ; that boy is ready to party."

"You're raising a good hearted young man. He didn't care for decor or anything he just wanted to show up for his friend."

@breesquirrely

Replying to @🌻 I highly doubt there was ever a birthday party 😂😂😂 ##update##part2##kids##relatable##fypシ##trending

Some said their own kids (or even themselves!) had pulled similar shenanigans in the past:

"My daughter did this, she made birthday invitations and passed them out to her classmates with my number noted. Had all the parents calling asking for address. There was no party."

"I'm 65 now...when I was in 1st grade I invited my entire class to come to my birthday party on Saturday. I woke up Saturday morning and told my Mom."

Others were concerned about the boy, wondering if he threw his own birthday party because no one else would. In replies to comments, Bree said that didn't seem to be the case. "I think it was a case of kids being kids and he forgot to tell his mama about the party he planned," she said.

Whatever the case, most commenters could agree that the boy in question wanted a play date with his friends and decided to take matters into his own hands to make it happen.

It's frustrating to be a kid and have so many things out of your control. When you're young, all your friendships are managed by your parents (for good reason) and while that keeps responsibility off your young shoulders, it's also challenging. Most of us remember being a kid and our best friend suddenly moving away with no warning! It's crushing and makes you feel helpless.

The boy who threw his own impromptu birthday party was practicing something called agency, which means the ability to make decisions about things that affect you and a belief that you have some power to control what happens to you. Agency is an important developmental milestone for kids and adults, and it's a key piece of our overall mental health. Some parents foster agency in their kids by printing up play date business cards that their children can hand out with a parent's phone number on them—seriously. The children may not arrange the play dates themselves but they can hand out cards to new friends they meet and have some control over their own social lives. Other parents encourage agency by asking their kids questions instead of telling them what to do, or practicing active listening techniques.

And then, of course, some kids take agency into their own hands with secret, hilarious plans that their parents know nothing about. If nothing else, this kid displayed an entrepreneurial spirit that will take him far one day.

For the parents out there, though, Bree warns to make sure birthday invitations are parent-approved before showing up anywhere. Unless you want to exercise your adventurous side, that is.

From Your Site Articles
kids
Trending Stories