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People are split over noise complaint note woman received after living in apartment for 2 days

Upstairs and downstairs neighbors are at war, but here's who they should really be mad at.

pair of bare feet walking on the floor; a handwritten note
Canva Photos

Apartment living isn't easy...

People who live in apartments are often at war with their neighbors, and the weapon of choice is nasty handwritten notes. Conflicts between upstairs and downstairs neighbors are a tale as old as time. But now the evidence is being logged on the Internet for all to see—and weigh in on.

Everyone has an opinion on passive-aggressive noise complaints from neighbors, but the reality is that the people living in these situations are truly at a loss for how to make things better. One neighbor will swear up and down they're not making any noise, while the person that lives under them complains about the walls shaking and picture frames falling off of their nails. It's an impasse. Who's in the right here?

A woman and her husband recently got a fairly polite but aggressive note about their behavior, almost immediately after moving into their apartment.

gif of a woman shushing a man while he drivesPolitely asking for silence is a lost art. Giphy

She posted it in the subreddit r/Apartmentliving asking for advice. The note reads, in scratchy handwriting:

"Welcome new neighbors, me and my wife live below you and would like to ask if you would please try and walk a little softer, these apartments were built extremely fast and they cut corners especially with the sound proofing. We can hear which room your in, we could probably count your steps. It just drones and shakes our walls and floors and we end up with bad headaches. I would really appreciate it, and my wife too."

The OP had lived in the apartment for a grand total of two days before receiving the note. And she's not the only one. Social media is bursting with similar notes, stories, and screenshots of baffling text exchanges.

See the full post below:

Users were surprisingly divided on the note. Some who knew the pain and frustration of being a downstairs neighbor found it reasonable and polite. Others found it absolutely unhinged and ridiculous.

At face value, asking a person to "walk a little softer" in their own home sounds unreasonable, right? Claiming that only two days of the OP simply existing in her home is causing bad headaches is a little over dramatic, as well.

But people who have lived as downstairs neighbors before get it. Every little noise gets amplified and it really does sound like your neighbors are stomping around, jumping up and down, dragging chains along the floor, and doing all kinds of disruptive things.

The response was mixed. Some urged OP and her husband to be more mindful of the way they move around when they're home:

"I grew up in apartments and naturally walk lightly now when at home, but my house friends walk so heavy. I can notice the difference significantly when we’re both at my place so it’s not a bad idea to take notice if you are just a naturally heavy walker and also no shoes inside. It doesn’t sound too mean but let’s hope just with being a bit more aware then they don’t become annoyingggggg."

"I live in a downstairs unit and have 3 men living above me. The soundproofing is really decent, and I can barely hear 2 of them walking around, they're so quiet. They're big dudes, too. The last guy walks like he weighs 800lbs and has ski boots on, it's insane. I've never heard anyone walk so loudly before, it drives me crazy. I dread him coming home from work every day because I have to listen to him stomp back and forth and shake the walls/ceiling. Some people absolutely don't know how to walk gently."

"I think people just don’t realize that it’s possible to walk normally without making heavy steps."

Other apartment-dwellers were more blunt; opining that the note was way out of line, especially after such a short time:

"Obviously, try to be mindful of how hard you're walking, but beyond that, there's nothing you really can do. You've gotta live your life, and you're paying to do so in that space, so as long as you aren't doing unreasonable things at unreasonable hours, then it's kinda their problem and not yours. That might sound callous, but I mean, if they expect to never have to hear other people, then they may need to reconsider living in an apartment."

"I’d ignore it. Don’t engage. You can walk around, watch tv, take a shower and close cabinets any time of the day or night as long as you’re not screaming, slamming, etc. then there’s nothing they can do.."

"Have you tried learning how to float?"

"If you're counting someone's steps you literally need to find a hobby. My parents still live in an apartment and my Mom does this kind of stuff. Every neighbor bothers her with the least amount of noise. If you have this issue, maybe consider housing that isn't attached to a neighbor?"

In the end, a few people had advice for the couple, or any upstairs neighbor: Put down some extra rugs and make sure you're wearing slippers when walking around the house. That's a simple gesture almost anyone can do for their neighbor's comfort. And, if you can, step lightly. Beyond that, there's not much else you can do.

Buried in the note, however, is the true culprit: Management!

gif of toddler making a faceThere's another culprit here.Giphy

The problem with these conflicts is that neither the upstairs or downstairs neighbor is really wrong. The upstairs neighbor can be doing absolutely nothing of note and it can still be deafeningly loud for the lower tenant. That's a sign of a crappy building that, as the note writer admits, points to corners that have been cut during construction

Some estimates say that apartments with better soundproofing are worth up to 20% more than noisier units. And the time spent dealing with constant complains and quarrels between neighbors is surely costly in its own way. Instead of writing nasty notes, neighbors should put pressure on management to address soundproofing issues—it's for the landlord's own good! They can't exactly remodel the entire building in most cases, but they should be willing to consider adding thick carpet pads, purchasing heavy curtains and drapes, or lining the air ducts to limit sound traveling between units.

Some have argued that landlords and management companies are inherently unethical, or at the very least, incentivized to be lazy and address problems in the cheapest way possible. If you want your apartment experience to get better, send these passive aggressive notes to them instead of your well-meaning neighbors.

Veronica Duque wearing her famous anatomy suit

Being an educator in the American public school system is one of the hardest jobs in our nation. Not only is the work itself challenging, but with constant battles for educational funding and a student body increasingly tethered to their electronic devices, most teachers in America and around the world are navigating uncharted territory when it comes to finding ways to keep their students engaged in their studies.

And that's why when Verónica Duque came across a form-fitting, anatomical bodysuit while doing some online shopping, she thought it would be perfect visual aid to convey vital information (pun intended) to her students in Spain, in a way they'd actually remember.

Turns out, the entire internet would remember it too.

Duque's husband tweeted a collage of images from the classroom lesson, which quickly went viral, with nearly 70,000 likes. Loosely translated, the tweet from her husband Michael reads: "Very proud of this volcano of ideas that I am lucky to have as a wife. Today she explained the human body to her students in a very original way. Great Veronica !!!"

In an interview with Bored Panda, Duque explained the thought process that led her to presenting her third-grade-class with a unique approach to learning.

"I was surfing the internet when an ad of an AliExpress swimsuit popped up," she said. "Knowing how hard it is for kids this young to visualize the disposition of internal organs, I thought it was worth giving it a try."

anatomy, anatomical suit, teachers, science, cool teachers, science class, amazonThis is a teacher who cares. assets.rebelmouse.io

Online retailers like Amazon have a number of similar anatomical bodysuits for sale. While most people apparently purchase them for Halloween costumes or as gag gifts, it's now likely that Duque's viral moment will inspire some other educators around the world to take a similar approach to teaching the body basics to their students.

anatomy, anatomical suit, teachers, science, cool teachers, science class, amazonHalloween costume, check. Amazon

While some on Twitter were critical of the suit, the vast majority have praised Duque for her innovative approach to teaching. And the anatomical bodysuit is reportedly far from her first creative endeavor in the classroom.

"I decided long ago to use disguises for history lessons," she told Bored Panda. "I'm also using cardboard crowns for my students to learn grammatical categories such as nouns, adjectives, and verbs. Different grammar kingdoms, so to say."

And when it comes to the inevitable, made-up controversy that tends to latch itself onto virtually anyone that goes viral, Duque said she says there's another far more controversial stereotype she hopes her brief moment of fame will help address.

"I'd like society to stop considering teachers to be lazy bureaucratic public servants," she said. "We're certainly not." Get this teacher a raise!

What really works about Duque's presentation is that it engages students in a sensorial experiences, which helps lessons stick (and let's face it, anything that engages he sense nowadays is a godsend). But there are other methods teachers/parents can try that don't involve wearing a suit with guts on 'em.

Here are some suggestions for hands-on "DIY experiments", courtesy of the Little Medical School website:

1. Building the respiratory system by creating a model lung with straws, balloons, bottles, and duct tape

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

2. Sculpting Body parts with Play Doh

(Grab free printable mats on 123Homeschool4Me)

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

3. Build a functioning heart model

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Of course, these lessons are a little more geared towards younger students, but at the same time, it could provide some inspiration for how to get students more involved in their own learning, just like Duque did.

This article originally appeared six years ago.

Humor

Comedian Josh Johnson perfectly describes what it's like to be broke in today's America

"My friend turns to me and says, 'Josh, you must not mind the rain.'"

Josh Johnson.

Income inequality isn't exactly new. However, it seems more people are aware of it than ever. In fact, according to a Pew Research poll that surveyed 36 countries, a "median of 54% of adults across the nations surveyed say the gap between the rich and the poor is a very big problem in their country."

Money, hundred dollars, hundred dollar bills, wealth, richWealth Inequality is a rampant problem. Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

The good news is people are learning to educate themselves—from financial planning to paying attention to where special interest money goes in terms of political leaders. But still, for many of us, it's hard to understand what it must be like to be wealthy when we've never had real wealth. Without having a lived-in experience, even the concept of money itself can be difficult to grasp.

Comedian Josh Johnson, who is also a correspondent and writer on The Daily Show, is an expert at taking complex notions and putting them into hilarious context through his long-form comedic storytelling. In a TikTok clip labeled "That Time I Almost Drowned," Josh begins by talking about the literal fabric of money. "We look at money as paper, right? At least when it's in its physical form, it's this paper thing. But it's more than paper. There's fabric that weaves into it. There's linen, there's cotton."

@joshjohnsoncomedy

I Almost Drowned At A Party

Josh likens the actual fabric of money to society. "It works the same way that society works. There's fabric that weaves all of us together." He adds, "But there are people who have not been able to participate in the opportunities of making money...so when you tell them a recession is coming, they're like, 'What? Okay. I was already broke.'"

He proceeds to illustrate with a story. "One time, I was at a party with my friends, and I fell in the pool." He makes sure to note that it wasn't a "pool party" and, therefore, deeply embarrassing. But more than that, "terrifying," because he reveals, "I can't swim. And when you don't swim, being surrounded by water out of nowhere is very concerning."

swim, pool, water, party, story, Summer Fall GIF by Mark RoberGiphy

He describes the sudden shock of the water. "I feel like I turned around, and water surrounded me." What he did next was not so much swim, but rather "drown," and he hilariously describes his friend fishing him out of the pool like a cat picking up its kitten. Wet and still in shock, Josh understandably wanted to leave immediately. But "the dude who saved me was my ride... and now has 'mack points' and begins to use them to hit on people."

When they finally try to leave, alongside a few other friends, his car won't start. "Luckily, he did live close enough to the party that we could walk. It was maybe a mile and some change. And as we start walking, it starts drizzling... and then really starts raining." After describing how his various friends responded to the rain (one hunched into "turtle" position and another put one hand over his head), Josh has an epiphany: "My friend turns to me and says, 'Josh, you must not mind the rain.' And I was like, I almost drowned 20 minutes ago. And THAT'S what it's like when you're broke. You're almost drowning all the time. So when people try to scare you with talks of a recession, you're like, 'Why would I... what?'” He puts a hand over his head. "You're doing this... I'm already WET!"

rain, drowning, drown, downpour, metaphorRaining Stick Figure GIF by State ChampsGiphy

Many in the comment section truly empathize, and there seems to be comfort in being "seen." One fan wrote, "This is incredible. You're the Kendrick Lamar of comedy." Another said, "This is such a good way to explain it."

One top commenter perfectly sums it up: "What is loss to a man who has nothing? What's a little rain to a drowning man?"

Learning to make sounds we didn't grow up with can be tricky.

When (or if) kids learn phonics at school, they're taught the symbols that go with sounds of their country's native language or languages. People all around the world grow up learning to make specific sounds with their mouths by imitating the language(s) they are immersed in, which can leave us completely unaware of how many other sounds there are until we hear a language that's far different from our own.

Even the common foreign languages that American school kids learn have sounds that can be tricky to get down. The rolled "r" in Spanish. The nuances of French vowel pronunciations. The glottal stops in German. The sound that's a mix between "r" and "l" in Japanese. And for people learning English, one of the trickiest sounds to get down is "er," as in the American pronunciation of "bird," "world," "summer," or "percent."

Oddly enough, for as common as the "er" sound is in English, it's linguistically rare. According to the Linguistics Channel @human1011, the "er" sound is found in less than 1% of the world's languages, rarer than the click consonants found in some languages in East and Southern Africa.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

As rare as the sound is, there are a lot of people in the world who use it, mainly because it's also used in Mandarin Chinese, or at least many variations of it. So, while there aren't many languages that use it, by sheer numbers of people, it's not that uncommon.

"So, a sound that's so rare that it's in less than 1% of the world's languages just happens to exist in the two most spoken languages on Earth? Can that really be a coincidence?" the @human1011 video asks. Well, yes. English and Chinese don't share a common linguistic root, so those sounds just happened to evolve in very different parts of the planet. According to some people in the comments of the video, there are regional dialects in Brazil where the "er" sound is used and in certain parts of the Netherlands as well.

Pronouncing the "er" sound is hard if you don't grow up with it, largely because it's all about the placement and shape of the tongue inside the mouth combined with the way the lips are positioned. That combination is physically tricky to show someone. This video, from a non-native-English-speaker does a good job of explaining the mouth movements that create the sound.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

What's particularly interesting about the "er" sound in American English is that it functions as a vowel sound. Most of us learned that the vowels in English are a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes y, and that's true as far as written vowels go, but vowel sounds are different. In the word "bird," the letter "i" is a vowel, but doesn't make any of the "i" sounds that we learned in school. Instead, the "ir" combine to make the "er" vowel sound. It's called an r-controlled vowel, and we see it in tons of words like "work," "were," "burn," "skirt," etc.

Learn something new every day, right?

Here's another video that explains the physical aspects of articulating the r-controlled vowel sound.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Most of us don't think about the fact that sounds we pronounce without even thinking about it have to be specifically learned and practiced by people who didn't grow up with them. It's not until we start trying to learn a language that's different from our own that we see how many sounds we have to work hard to make, sometimes even having to train our mouth muscles in ways they've never been used before.

It's also a good reminder to be patient and kind with people who are learning a language. It's not easy, and anyone making an effort to communicate in someone else's language deserves our grace and kudos.

You can follow @human1011 on YouTube for more interesting linguistics trivia.

"Here's the story of how we created a lush habitat garden."

Nature is healing. After a century of rampant urbanization—deforestation, invasive species, paving paradise and putting up a parking lot—we’re finally coming back to our roots. In Southern California, a mother-daughter design team is leading the way, teaching the public and their clients how to transform ordinary outdoor areas into extraordinary plant sanctuaries. In a viral TikTok video, Donna and Caitlin Whelan demonstrate how they created a lush habitat garden out of an ordinary backyard. It’s captured the hearts of green-thumbed viewers and offers an inside look into the process of eco-friendly landscaping.

Trust the process

Donna and Caitlin run Whelan Design House, a boutique interior design firm that specializes in high-end projects. Drawing on their combined talents and impeccable taste, this mother-daughter team create beautiful living spaces with a human-centered approach. Their commitment to healthy environments shines through in their design philosophy. As they state on their website, "Our world is full of synthetic materials, but we believe there are other options. We guide our clients toward sustainable and environmentally respectful choices and away from chemical-laden fabrics and unhealthy materials."

grass, backyard space, bare, old, before pictureWhere we started.TikTok

Which brings us to the viral backyard renovation. This was more than just a design project: it’s a masterclass in the power of family bonds and environmental innovation. The 18-part video begins with a plain, unremarkable yard. “This is how it looked when we started,” they write. “The grass wasn’t providing anything for the local [ecosystem], and it required way too much water to maintain.”

America has a “perfect lawn” problem. Dreams of white picket fences and a manicured lawn have driven the country into a “green, monoculture carpet,” and our human-dominated landscape is no longer equipped to support functional ecosystems. Like everything else in life, our front lawns do not exist in a vacuum. Everything, from the trees to the flowers to the grass to the soil, all work harmoniously to create a thriving home for insects, birds, and other wild creatures. But when native species are replaced with alien ones, these exotic plants disrupt the flow of life, wreaking havoc and degrading the natural habitat.

So, Donna and Caitlin tore it up. All of it. They removed the neatly cut grass and trees from unknown origins. Ripped up swaths of concrete (“concrete suffocates the soil, preventing the growth of microbes that are essential for healthy soil,” they write).

after photo, pebbles, backyard, green space, oasisParadise in the backyardTikTok

California’s natural beauty

Once the land was returned to ground zero, Caitlin and Donna got to work, replacing the non-native species with ones that were suited to the environment. “Native plants are adapted to the timing of the seasons, harshness of the weather, and water availability of the particular area they evolved within,” describes Defenders of Wildlife, a premier U.S.-based conservation organization. “They are also typically adapted to surviving local pests and, therefore, do not need chemical pesticides.”

So, the dynamic duo began anew, carefully planning and selecting the right plants. They chose drought-tolerant flora that was either native to the area or regionally appropriate, like the wattle-leaf acacia, whose delicate yellow blooms and fern-like leaves added a wonderful splash of splendor to the landscape. Plus, it’s known for its resiliency and minimal water needs—an especially crucial component in Southern California, where droughts are unfortunately quite commonplace. The orange-hued apricot mallow, another star of their garden, brings another pop of color and radiance and attracts butterflies to the space. “The flowers smell like honey,” write the Whelans.


nature. yard, large plants, makeover, native plantsWelcome to Whelan Design House.TikTok

Beyond the lush wildlife, the mother-daughter team also drew upon their impressive art experiences to design the garden of their dreams. They installed a lovely wooden bench, shaded beneath a Palo Verde tree. Small tables that look like sculptures dot the yard. Rustic Saltillo tiles, made of gorgeous terracotta, were used to create a mosaic patio floor. Suddenly, everything clicked. The resulting space is nothing short of awe-inspiring: truly one with nature.

Comments flooded in, with viewers praising Donna and Caitlin for their work. “You created your own slice of paradise while considering the wildlife and native plant species. I’m in awe,” someone wrote. “Thank you for planting native plants in CA, it’s so helpful. So many people buy houses here and plant non-native plants,” another user replied. Their viral TikTok even motivated some to rethink their own backyards. “My house is also a small older Spanish-style with a big backyard,” writes another. “This just inspired me to take action. Even my patio is just like yours, it’s coming down now lol.”

Change is always possible

Tired of mowing the grass and applying harmful pesticides? There are countless ways to incorporate native vegetation into your life, whether you have sprawling acres or a simple, small plot out front. For those interested in following in the Whelans’ footsteps, here’s what you need to know about starting your own native plant oasis:

  • Take stock. Before planning your beautiful new garden, examine your surroundings and evaluate what makes this particular area special and unique. How much sun does the yard typically get? Does it snow here? What’s the elevation like? Is the soil drainage poor?
  • Research, research, research. This is a great excuse for an excursion and to explore your local surroundings! Find a park near you with native plants or a botanical garden. Really get to know your local ecosystem—every region has its own personality and specific native plants that are meant to thrive there.
  • The fun part: Shopping spree. Find a nursery that specializes in native plants. And be curious! Ask questions, like “Where did this plant come from?” “Do I need to fertilize it?” “What soil and soil pH is best?” To create a native plant garden is to become a steward of the land, and the more information you know, the better.
  • Don’t stress. Caitlin and Donna are professionals. You don’t need to transform your entire backyard overnight. Start small, beginning with just a section of the garden. This will take time. In fact, the Whelans note, “patience is incredibly important. The beauty of [the garden] reached new depths with time and only time.”

yard, table, backyard, oasis, makeoverBeauty is possible!TikTok

By choosing native plants and working with nature rather than against it, the Whelans remind us that environmental stewardship is always possible—and can even start in your own backyard. With some careful planning, the correct plants, and an eye for design, anyone can take a step towards contributing to a natural, thriving ecosystem.

This guy deserves 5 stars, for sure.

When we think of 5-star Uber drivers, we might picture someone who knows how to read a room (or a car, in this case), maybe someone who has an assortment of charger cables, or a bomb playlist. One Uber driver, however, is getting glowing praise for giving more like 20-star service.

Here’s what happened: A woman named Catalina (@catalinamascochina), presumably on her way to a mechanic, had lamented to her driver how she was worried the mechanic would overcharge her for unnecessary things.

This concern is not unwarranted, of course. While anyone can be ripped off by a mechanic, it's fairly well known that women are often, but not always, charged more than men for auto repairs when they appear uniformed about the going rates for certain parts and services. Shady? Yes. But a reality, no doubt about it.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Catalina’s driver fully understood her plight, and in the video posted to her TikTok, we can hear him saying “I know how these guys are.” That’s when Catalina seems to joke, “Tell em’ you’re my dad!”

The Uber driver must have been totally onboard with this plan, because next thing you know, we see him in full Dad stance at the shop deftly waving off the mechanic's attempt to upsell, saying “We keep an eye on it; don’t worry about it. We’ll do it next time.”

Getting even more into character, he then demanded Catalina to “pay for the oil change and let’s get out of here. Come on, follow me.” Somebody give this guy an Oscar already.

“Thaaaaanks, Dad,” Catalina cooed as they shared a hug. In the onscreen caption she also joked that “the acting skills are a little [too] good cuz why he actually yelling at me like a dad?”

While viewers did note that, ideally, women wouldn’t have to conspire with their Uber drivers in order to get fair treatment, that it was really nice to see a man willing to help out in such a cool way.

“Now THIS is the masculinity we need,” one person wrote.

“What a sweetheart,” echoed another. “You definitely got in the right uber.”

Another even suggested, “they should have a service like this for girls that don’t have fathers and need to get their cars serviced worry-free.”

Others just chimed in to give the guys kudos for his acting chops. That, and many suspected he must be a dad IRL.

dad, mechanic, dads, help, strangers, favorsDads are gonna be dads.media0.giphy.com

“He activated dad mode and immediately became frustrated.”

“You gave him a story to share at dinner with his actual kids.”

“Acting? He’s clearly a dad.”

‘He wasn’t acting. In the moment you were his child.”

The world is not a perfect place, and likely never will be. But sometimes all it takes is one act of kindness to make it all that much easier—and more enjoyable—to navigate.