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Researchers studied kindergarteners' behavior and followed up 19 years later. Here are the findings.

Every parent wants to see their kid get good grades in school. But now we know social success is just as important.

Image from Pixabay.

Big smiles in class at kindergarten.


Every parent wants to see their kid get good grades in school. But now we know social success is just as important. From an early age, we're led to believe our grades and test scores are the key to everything — namely, going to college, getting a job, and finding that glittery path to lifelong happiness and prosperity.

It can be a little stressful. But a study showed that when children learn to interact effectively with their peers and control their emotions, it can have an enormous impact on how their adult lives take shape. And according to the study, kids should be spending more time on these skills in school.

Nope, it's not hippie nonsense. It's science.

Kindergarten teachers evaluated the kids with a portion of something called the Social Competence Scale by rating statements like "The child is good at understanding other's feelings" on a handy "Not at all/A little/Moderately well/Well/Very well" scale.

The research team used these responses to give each kid a "social competency score," which they then stored in what I assume was a manila folder somewhere for 19 years, or until each kid was 25. At that point, they gathered some basic information about the now-grown-ups and did some fancy statistical stuff to see whether their early social skills held any predictive value.

Here's what they found.

1. Those good test scores we covet? They still matter, but maybe not for the reasons we thought.

Back To School GIF by IFC - Find & Share on GIPHY

education, research, competency, kids

Meeting high expectations...

Billy Madison GIF from Giphy

Traditional thinking says that if a kid gets good grades and test scores, he or she must be really smart, right? After all, there is a proven correlation between having a better GPA in high school and making more money later in life.

But what that test score doesn't tell you is how many times a kid worked with a study partner to crack a tough problem, or went to the teacher for extra help, or resisted the urge to watch TV instead of preparing for a test.

The researchers behind this project wrote, "Success in school involves both social-emotional and cognitive skills, because social interactions, attention, and self-control affect readiness for learning."

That's a fancy way of saying that while some kids may just be flat-out brilliant, most of them need more than just smarts to succeed. Maybe it wouldn't hurt spending a little more time in school teaching kids about the social half of the equation.

2. Skills like sharing and cooperating pay off later in life.

Adam Sandler Pee GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

friendship, movies, GPA, emotional maturity

Adam Sandler helps out a friend dealing with a stressful situations.

Billy Madison GIF from Giphy

We know we need to look beyond GPA and state-mandated testing to figure out which kids are on the right path. That's why the researchers zeroed in so heavily on that social competency score.

What they found probably isn't too surprising: Kids who related well to their peers, handled their emotions better, and were good at resolving problems went on to have more successful lives.

What's surprising is just how strong the correlation was.

An increase of a single point in social competency score showed a child would be 54% more likely to earn a high school diploma, twice as likely to graduate with a college degree, and 46% more likely to have a stable, full-time job at age 25.

The kids who were always stealing toys, breaking things, and having meltdowns? More likely to have run-ins with the law and substance abuse problems.

The study couldn't say for sure that strong or poor social skills directly cause any of these things. But we can say for sure that eating too much glue during arts and crafts definitely doesn't help.

3. Social behaviors can be learned and unlearned — meaning it's never too late to change.

social behavior, social skills, learning, positive social traits

Adam Sandler GIF of getting his groove on.

Billy Madison GIF from Giphy

The researchers called some of these pro-social behaviors like sharing and cooperating "malleable," or changeable.

Let's face it: Some kids are just never going to be rocket scientists. Turns out there are physical differences in our brains that make learning easier for some people than others. But settling disputes with peers? That's something kids (and adults) can always continue to improve on.

And guess what? For a lot of kids, these behaviors come from their parents. The more you're able to demonstrate positive social traits like warmth and empathy, the better off your kids will be.

So can we all agree to stop yelling at people when they take the parking spot we wanted?

But what does it all mean?

This study has definite limitations, which its researchers happily admit. While it did its best to control for as many environmental factors as possible, it ultimately leans pretty heavily on whether a teacher thought a kid was just "good" or "very good" at a given trait.

Still, the 19-year study paints a pretty clear picture: Pro-social behavior matters, even at a young age. And because it can be learned, it's a great "target for prevention or intervention efforts."

The bottom line? We need to do more than just teach kids information. We need to invest in teaching them how to relate to others and how to handle the things they're feeling inside.

Ignoring social skills in our curricula could have huge ramifications for our kids down the road.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

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Humor

People share their most ridiculous 'I paid for it, not letting it go to waste' moments

The things we do save a buck.

Photo by Ayo Ogunseinde on Unsplash

Worth it?

The saying “waste not, want not” can be very valuable. However, as with most idioms of wisdom, it can be taken too far. Especially if it means putting up with severely unpleasant experiences simply to save a buck or two.

A person on Reddit by the username @Bull56Dozer recently asked the online community to share their own “well I paid for it, not letting it go to waste” moments and their question received a ton of responses. As it turns out, many, many humans would prefer to endure the uncomfortable (even consume the questionable) rather than potentially waste money.

A lot of the anecdotes were, perhaps unsurprisingly, food related. Considering that food inflation is at nearly 10% as of April 2022, it makes sense that people might want to milk every penny, even if that means drinking milk past the expiration date.

Plus, we do have a huge food waste issue. According to the World Food Programme, nearly one-third of all food currently produced globally is wasted each year … enough to feed 2 billion people. With those alarming statistics, I find myself choking down cereal that’s flavor is … interesting at best.

Of course, money fears could also be at play. Finances is a major source of stress for many people, if not manifesting into a full-blown phobia. Even those who are currently secure could still have been affected by growing up in poverty. As Leah Brookner, MA, MSW, Ph.D., a professor in the School of Social Work at Portland State University, explained in an article for Health, the trauma of childhood poverty—even when experienced well into young adulthood—can negatively shape the way we think. Luckily, she adds that with awareness, this is a challenge that can be overcome.

Maybe by making light of some of the measures we go through in the name of frugality, we can bring in some of this awareness, while still keeping our spirits lifted. After all, when given an optimistic spin, these moments can make for some funny stories. And time spent laughing is never wasted, right?

Without further ado, here are 14 of the best responses:

1. How could Oprah lead them astray?

“The worst cake I ever had was $30 for two slices…It was my mom’s birthday and she wanted to go to this gourmet cake place that was every girl’s tea party fantasy on the inside. The cakes were even Oprah recommended which was the reason my mom knew about it. We go to eat it, and the cake is…..awful. And it’s not just, oh it’s not my taste, like the cakes just tasted bad...."

things we do to not waste money

When you have your gross cake and have to eat it too

Giphy

"...We still ate them because they were $30 but I had to buy my own frosting to get through it.” – @signaturefox2013

2. When cheapness leads to closure

“Planned a weekend away with the guy I was dating, it was for his birthday. We would go to a theme park and stay in a hotel. But in the meantime we decided to break up. We still got on that trip, cause we already booked. At first I thought it was going to be a bit awkward, but it turned out to be really fun and a nice way to close things off.” – @vonne_F

3. ...and all they got was this lousy T-shirt

“Ran a marathon where I hit the wall at 25k. The remaining 17k I was just repeating to myself that I had paid for this and I was going to get my finisher T-shirt no matter what. Absolutely miserable 2 hours.” – @donut-or-do-not

4. Did somebody order a free feline piercing?

“My cat was pissed at me (I may have been egging him on) and bit my ear. In fact, he pierced my ear. My daughter cleaned it up for me and added a nice diamond-stud earring…I’m not a guy for earrings, but as long as I had a piercing, I’ll wear an earring for a little while at least…the hard part was done.” – @Southern_Snowshoe

viral ask reddit thread

Lucky it was his ear

Giphy
5. In dad's defense … should the turkey die for nothing?

“My dad burnt the thanksgiving turkey to the point were if he had left it 5 more minutes he would’ve burnt the whole house down… still forced us to eat it tho… worst thanksgiving to this day…” – @MemeVY

6. When the term "cheap date" becomes a little too literal

“Went on a date for Valentine’s Day and they offered to buy me a coffee beer at the restaurant. Horrible. I’m pretty sure they just made it with half black coffee, half stout and mixed it together in the glass. If I had purchased it myself, I would have noped out, but I managed to choke it down.” – @CONFETA

7. Mom never has to know

“I decided to try making a big batch of slow-cooked shredded pork tenderloin with smashed potatoes because my parents had this huge tenderloin in their freezer that they weren't going to use. I had never cooked pork before, I'd never thawed meat before, I'd never used a slow cooker before…. What could possibly go wrong?

I severely messed it up …the pork came out tough and way, way over-seasoned with pepper, to the point that was its only flavor, and the worst part was that there was enough meat for ten work lunches, most of which I had to freeze so they wouldn't go bad. I kept forgetting to thaw them in advance, which often resulted in the potatoes still being cold in the middle after reheating because I didn't want to hold up the microwave at work.

So for two whole weeks, I had over-seasoned, tough shredded pork and cold, under-seasoned potatoes for lunch at work. Why did I not stop this chain of events at any point or throw the food out, you may ask? Because I knew my mom would lecture me about it…and I've always been too cheap to pay for delivery.” – @RinTheLost

8. When you're a bookworm on a budget

“When I was younger not only would I compulsively finish any book I started, but I would also finish any series it was a part of.” – @tehKrakken55

However, this person did have a one-time caveat:

"I read Twilight to see what the fuss was about, and got a third of the way into whatever the hell the third book is before I looked at myself in the mirror and said 'You do not have to finish books you don't like.'"
9. Sticking to the bitter, bitter end

“I try to be very careful with my money. So I usually only get coffee from Dunkin or Starbucks as a treat to myself lol. I order the same thing every time. French vanilla cold brew with cream and no cold foam. Today for some reason, it was so bitter and terrible I could barely stand it. No cream, no French vanilla and even a bit of the coffee grounds were still floating around in there. I paid 3.50 for it …so I drank it. Lol.” – @ItchyInvestigator174

10. Yay?

“Current college course. 7 and a half grand in debt for almost the rest of my life and I’m just there for the experience.” – @_Frog_Enthusiast_

funny things we do to save money, money fears, poverty mindsetGiphy
11. When thriftiness leaves you feeling salty

“Overly salty peanut butter chocolate cake…..I can still feel the salt burns on my tongue after just the first slice. No amount of milk, whipped cream or fruit helped but that salt. Ate every last crumb of that cake. Took me only two weeks. It was a 6” cake.” – @GeneticExperiment626

12. Because those pants WILL come back in style!

"Most of the items of clothes in my closet unfortunately. I don’t like them so I don’t wear them but I can’t bring myself to throw them out because, well, I paid for them.” – @agentPheasant

funny things we do to save money

Hmm..what will I not be wearing today?

Giphy
13. When it affects you're health, there's a problem

“Medication for my ADHD. On paper, should’ve been a great fit, but it turned me into a zombie. And I don’t say that lightly, I couldn’t tell you what happened those few months…At the time i also had undiagnosed Generalized Anxiety, which can be severely exasperated by high doses of many ADHD meds. I was taking a 35 mg does which is pretty high for ADHD meds. So when I wasn’t a zombie, I was having serve panicking attacks. The anxiety and zombification was so bad it counteracted the benefits of the medicine. Yet, I kept with it for FOUR MONTHS because they were expensive. Stupidest thing I've done. Four months I'm never getting back. Btw I got a better much lower and effective does now.” – @Agitated-Salad-894

14. Saved the happiest ending for last

“My mom bought me a 1 year gym membership ( I was 16 ) I didn't want to go to the gym at all . But she told me try it out once and see what happens , I was angry at the time but I figured 'well I cant cancel it and the money's already been paid, I'll see what happens.' Here I am talking to you, 100 pounds lighter. I love my mom.” – @Mission-Pickle-2846


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Culture

Optical illusion makes looking at Van Gogh's 'Starry Night' a truly 'moving' experience

This is so trippy.

@Alex_Verbeek/Twitter, "Van Gogh's Starry Night" by Christopher S. Penn is licensed under CC BY 2.0.

Watch "The Starry Night" come to life with this optical illusion.

Vincent Van Gogh's "The Starry Night" is one of the most recognizable and beloved paintings in the world. It was completed in 1889 and has been part of the permanent collection of the Museum of Modern Art in New York City since 1941. It is not up for sale, but if it were to go to auction there is a chance it could fetch as much as billion dollars.

Such a priceless work of art is perhaps a strange object for a parlor trick, but trust me when I tell you this one is worth it. Whether they are oases in the desert created by heat shimmer, an elephant with an indeterminate number of legs or straight lines that look crooked, optical illusions can throw our brains for a loop. They can also be super fun, and an optical illusion that makes the "Starry Night" painting turn into a moving picture is most definitely fun.

The illusion, shared by Alex Verbeek on Twitter, involves two steps. First, you stare at the center of a spinning spiral image for 20 seconds, then you look at the painting. Staring at the spinning spiral isn't as easy as it sounds—it makes your eyes buggy and your brain hurt a little—but even if you don't do the full 20 seconds, you can probably get the effect.

Aim for staring at the center of the spiral for at least 10 seconds, then watch "The Starry Night" come to life before your eyes. (You have to click "play" first, by the way. The spirals need to be swirling.)

Want a larger version of the painting to try it out on? Here you go:

Van Gogh Starry Night

Vincent Van Gogh's "The Starry Night" (1889)

"Van Gogh's Starry Night" by Christopher S. Penn is licensed under CC BY 2.0.

The effect doesn't last long, but phew. Our brains are so bizarre.

According to a 2009 study by Japanese researchers, motion in optical illusions is still processed in the brain the same way real motion is. So don't be surprised if the moving painting makes you feel a bit woozy, if you're prone to motion sickness.

It's hard to believe that Van Gogh's "Starry Night" could be improved upon, but here we are. Definitely a "moving" experience to share with your friends.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Celebrity

Marlon Brando's compassionate insights on representation in Hollywood were far ahead of their time

He shared them in an intimate 1973 interview with Dick Cavett.

via The Dick Cavett Show/YouTube

Marlon Brando on "The Dick Cavett Show" in 1973.

Marlon Brando made one of the biggest Hollywood comebacks in 1972 after playing the iconic role of Vito Corleone in Francis Ford Coppola’s “The Godfather.” The venerable actor's career had been on a decline for years after a series of flops and increasingly unruly behavior on set.

Brando was a shoo-in for Best Actor at the 1973 Academy Awards, so the actor decided to use the opportunity to make an important point about Native American representation in Hollywood. Instead of attending the ceremony, he sent Sacheen Littlefeather, a Yaqui and Apache actress and activist, dressed in traditional clothing, to talk about the injustices faced by Native Americans.

She explained that Brando "very regretfully cannot accept this generous award, the reasons for this being … the treatment of American Indians today by the film industry and on television in movie reruns, and also with recent happenings at Wounded Knee."

The unexpected surprise was greeted with a mixture of applause and boos from the audience and would be the butt of jokes told by presenters, including Clint Eastwood. Littlefeather later said that John Wayne attempted to assault her backstage.

"A lot of people were making money off of that racism of the Hollywood Indian," Littlefeather told KQED. "Of course, they’re going to boo. They don't want their evening interrupted."

Three months later, Brando explained his reasoning in an interview with late-night host Dick Cavett where he also discussed how all people of color are misrepresented in Hollywood. The interview was historic because Brando was known for avoiding the media.

"I felt there was an opportunity," Brando told Cavett about the awards ceremony. "Since the American Indian hasn't been able to have his voice heard anywhere in the history of the United States, I thought it was a marvelous opportunity to voice his opinion to 85 million people. I felt that he had a right to, in view of what Hollywood has done to him."

Brando’s eyes were opened after reading John Collier’s novel “Indians of the Americas.”

“After reading the book I realized, I knew nothing about the American Indian, and everything that we are taught about the American Indian is wrong,” Brando said. “It’s inaccurate. Our school books are hopelessly lacking, criminally lacking, in revealing what our relationship was with the Indian.”

“When we hear, as we’ve heard throughout all our lives, no matter how old we are, that we are a country that stands for freedom, for rightness, for justice for everyone, it simply doesn’t apply to those who are not white,” Brando said. “It just simply doesn’t apply, and we were simply the most rapacious, aggressive, destructive, torturing, monstrous people who swept from one coast to the other murdering and causing mayhem among the Indians.”

Brando understood that the boos from his contemporaries were the sounds of powerful people who couldn’t stand having their industry and reality challenged. It was the sound of pure denial.

But Brando was unapologetic about bursting the audience’s collective bubble.

“They were booing because they thought, 'This moment is sacrosanct, and you're ruining our fantasy with this intrusion of reality. I suppose it was unkind of me to do that, but there was a larger issue, and it's an issue that no one in the motion picture industry has ever addressed themselves to, unless forced to,” Brando said.

“The Godfather” star then expanded his thoughts on representation to include all people of color.

“I don't think people realize what the motion picture industry has done to the American Indian, and a matter of fact, all ethnic groups. All minorities. All non-whites,” he said. “So when someone makes a protest of some kind and says, 'No, please don't present the Chinese this way.' ... On this network, you can see silly renditions of human behavior. The leering Filipino houseboy, the wily Japanese or the kook or the gook. The idiot Black man, the stupid Indian. It goes on and on and on, and people don't realize how deeply these people are injured by seeing themselves represented—not the adults, who are already inured to that kind of pain and pressure, but the children. Indian children, seeing Indians represented as savage, ugly, vicious, treacherous, drunken—they grow up only with a negative image of themselves, and it lasts a lifetime.”

Hollywood is still far from ideal when it comes to being truly representative of America at large. But it is miles ahead of where it was in 1973 when the film industry, including some of its biggest stars, was outwardly hostile toward the idea of representation.

In 1973, Marlon Brando was at the height of his power, which most would have relished, after a series of setbacks. But instead of taking the opportunity to bask in the spotlight, he spent a large portion of his star power capital to give voice to the people Hollywood had dehumanized for seven decades.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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