Parker Molloy

  • People shared the ‘one question’ they’d ask God if they could, and the responses are profound
    People have questions for God.Photo credit: Canva
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    People shared the ‘one question’ they’d ask God if they could, and the responses are profound

    Throughout human history, we have had a lot of gods, at least 18,000, to be specific. Most people believe in just one and forget about the other 17,999 that have fallen in and out of favor over the millennia. If we focus on the major god of the Abrahamic religions—Christianity, Judaism, and Islam—we, as mortal…

    Throughout human history, we have had a lot of gods, at least 18,000, to be specific. Most people believe in just one and forget about the other 17,999 that have fallen in and out of favor over the millennia. If we focus on the major god of the Abrahamic religions—Christianity, Judaism, and Islam—we, as mortal humans, still have many questions that remain unanswered in their holy books.

    For example:

    If you love us, why do you send a big percentage to hell?

    Why do you allow evil to happen?

    Who killed John F. Kennedy?

    Why do you only cure diseases that we can’t see? (And never cure amputees or burn victims?)

    Why do churches ask for money? Can’t you just make a bag of cash magically appear when the rent is due?

    Why is shellfish an abomination when it’s so damn tasty?

    lobster, lemon, lobster dinner, garnish, seafood, shellfish,
    A lobster ready to eat. Photo credit: Canva

    The problem is that humans can ask all the questions we like, and the big answer we usually get is: “God works in mysterious ways.”

    Well, a group of folks on Reddit wouldn’t accept that as an answer, so they got together and listed all the questions they would ask God if they had the chance. Many people questioned whether we truly have free will, while others wondered where God is when tragedies happen. It’s great food for thought, and just maybe God will one day pop into the comments section and sort things out.

    1. The question of evil

    “Are you willing to stop evil, but unable? Or are you able to stop evil, but unwilling?”

    2. Can I have a do-over?

    “Can I start all over again and retain my memories, please?”

    3. Where did you come from?

    “How were you created if you’re the creator?”

    This is a big question, and for many religious people the answer is simple: God is eternal and the “uncaused cause” of everything else. This rubs determinists the wrong way because they believe that everything must have a prior cause.

    4. The Fieri conundrum

    “Why did you allow Guy Fieri to create Donkey Sauce?”

    For the uninitiated, Donkey Sauce was popularized by Guy Fieri on his TV show Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. Although it may have a bizarre name, it’s basically a mayo-and-garlic sauce that often features Dijon mustard, lemon juice, and Worcestershire sauce.

    5. The big three

    “I have no singular question, I have three that are combined…

    How can we have free will if you’re omniscient (all-knowing). You knew what colour my pajama pants were before I put them on tonight, yet I’m supposed to have made that decision myself with my own free will? That doesn’t make sense if you already knew.

    If you’re omnipotent (all powerful) then how could you make a stone so powerful that you couldn’t lift it… if you couldn’t, you’re not all powerful, if you can… then you’re not all powerful.

    If you’re all-loving then why is there so much pointless suffering?”

    6. Why such a poor communicator?

    “Why do you make yourself in a way that makes it so humanity has to follow a thousand-year-old book. Why can’t you just give us monthly updates or some sh*t via our phones. Seems a lot more effective.”

    7. The pizza predicament

    “Why is pizza such an unhealthy food? It should be something you consume all the time to stay in shape and fight cancer.”

    pizza, hot pizza, whole pizza, pizza sauce, cheesy pizza
    A whole pizza. Photo credit: Canva

    8. Yeah, really

    “Child cancer? WTF dude.”

    9. More evidence would be nice

    “Why don’t you just give us a clear evidence, before blaming us for not believing in you?”

    “If you have a plan for us and know everything that will ever happen, why do you blame us and condemn people to suffer forever for the crime of not doing what you wanted us to do when you already knew everyone who was going to was going to do that and counted on it?”

    10. A corgi question

    “Did you just put all the creation points in cuteness and herding skills when you made the corgi, or was there another plan for this dog?”

    @walnutthefluffycorgi

    Thinking about getting a corgi? Here are 3 potential cons of owning one! #corgi #fluffycorgi #pembrokewelshcorgi

    ♬ Fluffy Pancake – Oneul

    11. *taps watch*

    “Where have you been?”

    12. How hot?

    “Could you microwave a burrito so hot that you yourself could not eat it?”

    It seems that God would probably be able to eat a burrito cooked as hot as it can get, because that would only reach 212°F, the boiling point of water. Microwaves cook food by making water molecules vibrate, so once the temperature reaches the boiling point, the water turns into steam rather than getting any hotter.

    13. Why are we here?

    “It’s one of life’s great mysteries isn’t it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don’t know, man, but it keeps me up at night.”

    14. Is it all about suffering?

    “The weird thing about this for me is wondering what I’d do next. like if god really answers ‘to suffer, it’s fun for me to watch you all be miserable’ do you just … go to work the next day”

    15. Reincarnation

    “What’s my soul’s goal so I can stop reincarnating already?”

    reincarnation, soul, spirit, death, afterlife, religion,
    Reincarnation. Photo credit: Canva

    16. The apple

    “All this over a piece of $&@%ing fruit?!?”

    17. The most important question

    “Are my cats and dog happy?”

  • Struggling to make friends as an adult? You may have fallen into the ‘liking gap.’
    Making friends as an adult can be hard. Photo credit: Canva
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    Struggling to make friends as an adult? You may have fallen into the ‘liking gap.’

    Making friends isn’t always easy for kids, but it’s pretty straightforward. Kid friendships usually start with something like, “Hey, cool bike.” Or “Hey, want to run across the field with me?” Or “Hey, let’s pretend [fill in imaginary scenario].” If the other kid responds positively, boom, you’re friends. If only it were that simple for…

    Making friends isn’t always easy for kids, but it’s pretty straightforward. Kid friendships usually start with something like, “Hey, cool bike.” Or “Hey, want to run across the field with me?” Or “Hey, let’s pretend [fill in imaginary scenario].” If the other kid responds positively, boom, you’re friends.

    If only it were that simple for grown-ups. Making friends in adulthood can be tough, and for some it might feel impossible. There are several reasons for that, but let’s start with one that may be easier to change than you might think.

    The “liking gap”

    One reason it can be hard to make friends as an adult is that we fear feeling rejected. Are other adults even looking for new friends? Will they like us enough to want to become our friend?

    That fear may itself be the problem, or at least part of it. Researchers who studied people talking to strangers in various settings found that “following interactions, people systematically underestimated how much their conversation partners liked them and enjoyed their company.” In other words, people tend to be more likable than they think. The study’s authors called this illusion the “liking gap.”

    If you chat with someone and come away thinking they didn’t enjoy it, you may have fallen into the liking gap. “Our studies suggest that after people have conversations, they are liked more than they know,” the researchers wrote.

    What’s the solution? Another phenomenon known as the “acceptance prophecy,” which is based on research showing that when we believe others are going to like us, we tend to be more open and warm in our behavior toward them—thereby making them like us. The reverse is also true. When we think people won’t like us, we’re more closed off. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy: when we think we’re likable, we behave in more likable ways, leading others to like us.

    Essentially, we close the liking gap by seeing ourselves as likable. That may be harder than it sounds in practice, but it’s a pretty simple fix. (If you can convince your brain to cooperate, of course.)

    But what about the harder problems to solve?

    The time and energy problem

    One of the biggest obstacles to making friends as an adult is simply time. Between work, family, keeping a home in order, taking care of our health, and everything else, grown-up life is busy. And yet, many adults yearn for more friend connections in the free time they do have.

    Then there’s the energy question. “After a long workday, the idea of a night out with friends may not sound as appealing as it once did,” wrote psychologist Loren Soeiro. “This energy shortage can also make it difficult for friends to sustain their bonds: When both people feel depleted, neither is likely to take the initiative.”

    How do we make or maintain friendships when we’re so often short on time and energy?

    Adult friendships are more complex

    What formed the basis of friendships in our childhood may not be sufficient to sustain a friendship in adulthood. Shared interests, or simply enjoying someone’s company, are often how friendships begin. But is that enough to overcome the time and energy constraints that make friendship harder?

    As Emma Barr, LPA, pointed out, they may not be: “What becomes more important are character traits like dependability, supportiveness, or loyalty. Those are things that aren’t immediately self-evident. That can make it hard to tell if this is a person you really want to be friends with.”

    We have fewer shared experiences baked into daily life

    When we’re young, much of our day is structured around group experiences like school and after-school activities. In adulthood, our work might be a group experience, but it might not be. Many people work from home, which makes forming friendships at work difficult. Some people belong to churches or religious groups and might be able to form friendships there. Beyond that, much of adult life is individually oriented. We simply don’t have as many structured social experiences as we did when we were young.

    How to be better at grown-up friendship

    Friendships can be complicated, but there are some ways to make and maintain them better:

    Be the one to reach out

    “Don’t wait for others to suggest socializing opportunities,” Soeiro wrote. “You may wish your old friends would reach out to you, but the odds are your friends harbor the same wishes, the same needs. Break the logjam by initiating plans yourself.”

    Be honest about wanting to keep friendships up

    As adults, sometimes the best bet is to refresh the friendships you already have, especially if they’ve begun to fade.

    “Because your friends probably also think their peers have more friends than they do, it makes sense to talk about the problem,” Soeiro wrote. “Letting them know you want your friendships to stay strong, or that you sometimes feel distant, can help normalize these feelings. (Remember, when you can share your vulnerability and feel accepted in return, relationships grow stronger.)”

    Adjust your expectations

    Therapist Kati Morton shared that as she’s gotten older, she’s felt like every friendship needs to be a deep, sisterly relationship.

    “That’s just not possible,” she said. “And so I have to almost recalibrate my own brain to be like, no, it’s okay to have different friends for different reasons. We can have a friend that is helpful at work. We can have a friend who is great for holding us accountable to go to our yoga class or go walking. We can have a friend as part of our book group.”

    Don’t let social media fool you

    It’s easy to see people posting pictures of friend hangouts and assume that everyone else is better at friendship than we are.

    Soeiro described findings from researcher Kristine Lehman, saying she “noted that on apps like Instagram, other people appear to have more friendships, and more satisfying ones, than we do. This perception can heighten a sense of FOMO, magnifying our feelings of shame and isolation.”

    Give it time

    As kids, forming a friendship may have been as simple as asking, “Want to be friends?” As adults, the process isn’t so cut and dried.

    “Allow the process to take time,” Barr wrote. “A friend is someone you trust, but trust takes time to build. You may find that there isn’t a moment where you went from not being friends to being friends; people tend to grow on us slowly.”

    Grown-up friendships may be trickier, but they are no less valuable than those we made as kids.

  • Musician reimagines Darth Vader’s iconic theme song if he’d ‘gone to therapy,’ and it’s strangely beautiful
    Avishai Darash swaps out the minor chords for major chords and transforms Darth Vader’s theme song.Photo credit: @avishaidarash/Instagram & Wikimedia Commons
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    Musician reimagines Darth Vader’s iconic theme song if he’d ‘gone to therapy,’ and it’s strangely beautiful

    When it comes to villain songs, few are as instantly recognizable as “The Imperial March,” better known as Darth Vader’s theme from Star Wars. The G minor key, one of the darkest in classical music, plus the relentlessly steady rhythm, reminiscent of a military march…it’s all so bombastically, unapologetically evil-sounding. It also helps that composer…

    When it comes to villain songs, few are as instantly recognizable as “The Imperial March,” better known as Darth Vader’s theme from Star Wars. The G minor key, one of the darkest in classical music, plus the relentlessly steady rhythm, reminiscent of a military march…it’s all so bombastically, unapologetically evil-sounding.

    It also helps that composer John Williams used the Star Wars franchise to introduce the cinematic world to the Wagnerian leitmotif—a concept well known in opera, where recurring bits of music act as a character’s calling card. In Vader’s case, viewers would hear the tune whenever he slaughtered innocents and enforced the Empire’s tyranny, making it pretty much synonymous with bad guy behavior.

    But composer and pianist Avishai Darash wondered what that dastardly march might sound like if things had played out a little differently—namely, if Vader had, as Darash put it, “gone to therapy,” done away with his imperial ways, and been the dad Luke and Leia deserved.

    The result: a revamped theme song (using major keys, of course) that feels like it belongs more in the world of Jane Austen than sword fighting in space.

    Instead of dread and looming danger, the melody suddenly feels light, warm, and oddly wholesome, like something you might hear while strolling through a sunlit garden rather than watching a galactic conquest unfold.

    “Maybe Luke just wanted to hear ‘I’m proud of you, son,’” Darash quipped in the comments.

    Viewers react

    The clip, which racked up 92,000 views, inspired a ton of funny (and punny) comments from Star Wars fans:

    “Episode V: The empire loves you back.”

    “I bet this Vader knows how to French braid Leia’s hair.”

    “The love is strong with this one.”

    “It evokes images of Darth Vader skipping whimsically through a meadow.”

    “Luke, I am your caregiver 😶‍🌫️”

    “Well that’s a major plot twist 🍿”

    “You are not a Jedi yet… but your journey is valid and I admire the hard work- keep going, I’ll always have your back, Mom’s getting Starbucks, what’s your order?”

    “Luke, I am your emotionally and physically present father.”

    A specialty for Darash

    This isn’t the first time Darash has taken a well-known character song from a movie score and completely reimagined it. In fact, turning famous themes on their heads has become something of a specialty for him.

    For instance, in this video he imagines Clark Kent as just your average Joe, with no Superman alter ego. Suddenly his life feels far more grounded and ordinary.

    Or this one, where Vito Corleone “just ran a family restaurant” and “paid his taxes,” rather than being a mob boss, making him a “good father” instead of a “Godfather.”

    Or this one, which imagines what would have happened if the Titanic had never sunk and Jack and Rose had lived happily ever after. Less tragedy and a lot more hope, but it still tugs at the heartstrings.

    After seeing these, isn’t it nice to know that in this complicated life there are a few simple things we can rely on? Two plus two equals four. Blue and red make purple. Major chords sound happy; minor chords do not. You don’t have to be a music genius to understand that on a visceral level.

    Now, what if the dinosaurs from Jurassic Park were actually cute and cuddly rather than wild and carnivorous? That’s the cover I’m waiting to hear. 

  • Tearful 8-year-old girl has a beautiful reaction to breaking a taekwondo board
    Ellie Park breaks a board at American Tigers in Mission Viejo, California.Photo credit: American Tigers Mission Viejo (used with permission)
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    Tearful 8-year-old girl has a beautiful reaction to breaking a taekwondo board

    There is no better feeling than confronting your fears head-on and overcoming them, especially when you feel like the odds are stacked against you. That’s why a video from American Tigers, a martial arts school in Mission Viejo, California, is so powerful.  Eight-year-old Elizabeth “Ellie” Park was shaking in fear as she approached her teacher,…

    There is no better feeling than confronting your fears head-on and overcoming them, especially when you feel like the odds are stacked against you. That’s why a video from American Tigers, a martial arts school in Mission Viejo, California, is so powerful. 

    Eight-year-old Elizabeth “Ellie” Park was shaking in fear as she approached her teacher, who was holding a practice board she was supposed to break with her foot. The day before, she had failed to break the boards, and her first attempt in front of a large crowd was unsuccessful.

    “On the day of testing, she stared at the board shaking in fear for about a minute,” Ethan Shin, head instructor of American Tigers, told USA Today. “We had her take a break, and called her up a second time.”

    Ellie’s incredible achievement

    Then, on her third attempt, she broke the board with her right foot. After her tremendous accomplishment, she stood at attention, and then she just couldn’t resist giving her teacher a big hug. After regaining her composure, she broke another board and returned to sit with the rest of her class.

    “She was shaking in fear from failing on the practice boards the day before. She chose to be brave, face her fears head-on, and overcame them,” American Tigers wrote in an Instagram post. They added, “When you fail. Find the courage in yourself to try again. Be proud of your accomplishments. And take time to celebrate your wins.”

    One of the commenters perfectly summed up how Ellie felt after successfully striking the board: “There’s a moment when her heart wants to hug her teacher, but ‘custom’ makes her hesitate…until.”

    It’s a wonderful moment where everyone took a break from the discipline of the martial art to express joy, gratitude, and a sense of achievement.

    taekwondo, taekwondo kick, martial arts, martial arts practice, high kick,
    A man practicing taekwondo. Photo credit: Canva

    “One of the things I miss most about teaching taekwondo is making this kind of impact on students. Not just teaching skills, but courage and confidence,” one of the commenters wrote.

    “This teacher is so beautiful. To be a safe space where she can find support and regain her confidence. Wow,” another added.

    Martial arts are great for a child’s development

    taekwondo, martial arts, kids martial arts, fists, martial arts practice
    Children learning taekwondo. Photo credit: Canva

    The video is a wonderful example of the benefits of teaching kids martial arts. Martial arts teach kids to focus on individual growth rather than competition and help them develop greater self-control and discipline. It’s also a great way for them to learn and appreciate structure.

    “Martial arts is a good way to get kids more physically active and fit, and help them develop healthy exercise habits that will last a lifetime,” Cynthia LaBella, MD, from the American Academy of Pediatrics, told Colorado Parent in 2016.

    Ellie’s achievement is a wonderful example of how, when we find calm and composure, we can not only confront our fears but defeat them. It’s moments like that that show why martial arts can make a big difference in a child’s life. They build confidence, resilience, and the courage to keep going, even when it feels like the odds aren’t in your favor.

    Learn more about taekwondo at the American Tigers school in Mission Viejo, California.

  • A driver lost consciousness on the highway. A stranger pulled a heroic PIT maneuver to stop his car.
    A damaged car and a man on a stretcher. Photo credit: Canva
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    A driver lost consciousness on the highway. A stranger pulled a heroic PIT maneuver to stop his car.

    Unless someone is a trained professional, you never quite know how you’ll react in an emergency. San Antonio, Texas, resident Rene Villarreal-Albe recently witnessed a potentially deadly situation and responded quickly. The man was driving down the highway with his wife when he noticed something strange. A car was swerving in and out of traffic…

    Unless someone is a trained professional, you never quite know how you’ll react in an emergency. San Antonio, Texas, resident Rene Villarreal-Albe recently witnessed a potentially deadly situation and responded quickly.

    The man was driving down the highway with his wife when he noticed something strange. A car was swerving in and out of traffic before hitting a barrier on the side of the road, only to swerve back into speeding traffic. Realizing something was likely seriously wrong, the couple decided to pull closer to the erratic vehicle.

    San Antonio, good Samaritan, car accident, wholesome, heroes
    A man gets out of a damaged car. Photo credit: Canva

    They were right. The driver of the vehicle was not only in trouble but also completely unconscious. With no one else in the car to help, Villarreal-Albe had to make a split-second decision. He knew that if he didn’t stop the car, it could seriously injure or kill someone. So he decided to stop it himself.

    Villarreal-Albe is a welder, not a police officer. He isn’t trained in vehicular maneuvers to immobilize a moving vehicle. But that didn’t stop him from trying.

    San Antonio, good Samaritan, car accident, wholesome, heroes
    A damaged car on the side of a highway. Photo credit: Canva

    “I was just really worried about his well-being,” Villarreal-Albe told KENS 5. “Seeing his state like that, it’s terrible. I don’t wish that upon nobody.”

    The man essentially mimicked a maneuver often seen on television used by law enforcement. It’s called a PIT maneuver, which stands for Precision Immobilization Technique, according to the Federal Law Enforcement Training Centers. The technique has been used since the 1980s.

    The Good Samaritan used his truck to the best of his ability to force the runaway SUV to stop. It worked. Shortly afterward, a licensed-vocational nurse who witnessed what happened joined the couple. The unnamed nurse jumped out of her car and immediately began CPR on the unconscious man.

    “This lady started CPR right away, and he lost color, but he came back, and that made it worth it,” Villarreal-Albe said.

    In a separate interview, the unnamed nurse explained why she pulled over, sharing that several other motorists stopped to help as well.

    “I just felt that I need to stop, so I pulled over to the side, and I put my hazards on, and I ran over there,” she told KENS 5. “I just immediately started CPR, and I was going at it for a little bit, and I was doing mouth-to-mouth. I was able to see the color come back to him, and he was in and out. He was gasping for some air.”

    The other Good Samaritans were the ones who pulled the man out of the car and laid him on the ground. This allowed the nurse to begin chest compressions, though it was her first time ever performing CPR on a real person. Within minutes, she became fatigued. Thankfully, another woman trained in CPR took over, giving the nurse a break. Between the two women, they were able to continue CPR until an ambulance arrived.

    There’s no word on what caused the man’s medical emergency, but the extraordinary teamwork of a group of strangers saved his life. He is still recovering in a San Antonio hospital.

  • An ER nurse shares the four essential medical skills everyone needs to learn but never talks about
    An ER nurse takes care of a patient.Photo credit: Canva
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    An ER nurse shares the four essential medical skills everyone needs to learn but never talks about

    Accidents and medical emergencies happen every day, but, unfortunately, many Americans do not feel prepared to jump into action when they do. According to a poll from the American College of Emergency Physicians (ACEP), most Americans report feeling comfortable calling 911 and speaking with dispatchers. However, the number drops to just 55% for life-saving CPR—and…

    Accidents and medical emergencies happen every day, but, unfortunately, many Americans do not feel prepared to jump into action when they do.

    According to a poll from the American College of Emergency Physicians (ACEP), most Americans report feeling comfortable calling 911 and speaking with dispatchers. However, the number drops to just 55% for life-saving CPR—and only 46% feel comfortable applying a tourniquet.

    Without medical training, confidence wanes and fear likely sets in for the average civilian. And since first responders may not be present when a medical emergency happens, an emergency room nurse with 11 years of experience shared their medical insights with the average person on Reddit.

    They explained four essential medical skills everyone should know that could potentially save someone’s life.

    “I know everyone wants the dramatic skills,” they wrote. “But these four things, done correctly, will genuinely make a difference in the scenarios most of us are actually likely to face.”

    Medical skill #1: Wound packing and pressure

    Learning how to pack wounds and apply pressure is the most important medical skill civilians should know, according to the ER nurse. These skills are more important than learning how to suture.

    “Suturing a wound that isn’t fully clean can trap infection inside and make things significantly worse,” they wrote. “What saves lives in the field is knowing how to pack a deep wound with gauze and hold real pressure for long enough.”

    They explained that most people apply only one-fifth of the pressure actually needed to help.

    “Most people stop after 2 minutes. You need at least 10, sometimes more,” they added. “This one skill has a higher chance of keeping someone alive until they can get real help than almost anything else on the average prep list.”

    Medical skill #2: Recognizing shock

    The next most important medical skill people should learn is how to recognize shock, which, according to the nurse, is “not just ‘they look pale.’”

    “I mean understanding the progression: restlessness and anxiety first, then skin changes, then the dangerous drop in blood pressure that most people think comes first,” they explained. “By the time someone looks classically ‘shocky’ you’re already behind. Learning the early signs gives you a real window to act.”

    Medical skill #3: Splinting, not setting

    Next up is dealing with possible bone breaks. The ER nurse emphasizes that people should absolutely not try to set broken bones. Instead, they should know how to splint them.

    “Splint them where they are, immobilize the joint above and below the break, and focus on getting the person calm and still,” they shared. “A bad reduction attempt can damage nerves and vessels in ways that are very hard to fix later.”

    Medical skill #4: Medication interactions and allergy documentation

    Finally, the fourth medical skill recommended by the ER nurse is knowing which medications (including dosages) family members or close friends take, as well as any allergies they may have, in case of a medical emergency.

    “Keep a physical list. Not just in your phone. Know what everyone in your household takes, the doses, and any known allergies,” the nurse explained. “In a chaotic situation this single piece of paper can prevent a serious medication error if someone else has to help you.”

  • Woman sparks surprising debate after singing the praises of dating divorced men
    A couple on a date. Photo credit: Canva
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    Woman sparks surprising debate after singing the praises of dating divorced men

    Dating is hard, no matter who you are. Some people struggle to find any dates at all. Others come by them easily but can’t seem to make a genuine connection. By and large, many Americans report being frustrated by a dating-app culture that promised to make things easier but, in most cases, has not. If…

    Dating is hard, no matter who you are. Some people struggle to find any dates at all. Others come by them easily but can’t seem to make a genuine connection. By and large, many Americans report being frustrated by a dating-app culture that promised to make things easier but, in most cases, has not. If you’re someone who’s fresh off a divorce, you’re playing on hard mode. It can all feel a little hopeless.

    But it shouldn’t. One social media user is going viral for taking a stand: She said dating divorced men has led to some of the best dating experiences of her life. And she’s not the only one.

    Artist and musician Kady Brown caused a stir on Threads recently when she shared her controversial opinion:

    “Dating a divorced man has been one of the most agreeable dating experiences of my life. It makes sense but I don’t think I expected that. It’s like he has relational basics like consideration, accountability, and resolution skills down in a way I haven’t always seen in single (never married) men without asking or explaining. It’s kind of lit … and very attractive”

    marriage, divorce, dating after divorce, dating divorced men, love, relationships, relationship tips, marriage tips
    A man kisses a woman on the head. Photo credit: Canva

    Hundreds of people chimed in to agree.

    “Yes. I love my men pre-yelled at,” one joked.

    “Second wife perks. His first wife molded him. The second reaps the benefits,” another added.

    “Certified preowned…but seriously he already been thru the trenches…learned some lessons…understands dynamics…and overstands communication and consideration,” a commenter noticed.

    “I agree. He’s taught me that I’m not as good with communication as I thought I was. It’s been refreshing,” another wrote.

    @iamalilizzi

    Honestly, almost didn’t date him cause of how soon he had just gotten divorced, but I helped him heal and now we are spending the rest of our lives together 🥹 #relationshipgoals #relationshipproblems #recentlydivorced #newlymarried

    ♬ Disturbia GTTG remix – GTTG

    Divorce is not generally considered a good thing. But there can be a bright side.

    Few people are happy about the failure of a marriage they had hoped would last a lifetime. Interestingly, many people do not report feeling happier after ending a conflict-fueled marriage. But in certain situations, it can be the right move for all parties involved.

    Like any breakup, a divorce can be a tremendous opportunity to learn from your mistakes and grow as a person. According to Psychology Today, people who have been honest about their role in the split, taken the opportunity to discover what they want out of a partner and out of life, and allowed enough time to heal can become terrific partners to someone new down the road.

    But as many commenters on Brown’s post pointed out, not everyone will take that path.

    “[Maybe] he just got good at masking the parts on himself that likely ran the last woman away,” one commenter wrote.

    “I fell in love with a divorced man. Later, I realized he was just parroting what his ex wife and ex girlfriend had they wanted and he was lacking,” someone added.

    “Ok but anecdotally, some divorced men are just teenagers who will never realize they’re the reason all their relationships are burnt bridges, smoldering stacks of self-centered arrogance,” wrote another commenter.

    The “good ones” are out there

    Laura Bonarrigo, a divorce and life coach, said the same is true for anyone who finds themselves dating a woman who’s been through a divorce.

    The “good ones,” she wrote, are out there in spades, and dating one can be a massively refreshing experience after the unpredictability, flakiness, and ghosting of modern dating.

    “There’s accountability in the way she reflects on her history, and rather than reenacting old wounds, she’s choosing to build something healthier moving forward,” she added. “Instead of clinging, chasing, or disappearing only to resurface with flimsy explanations, she moves through dating in a steady and predictable way. Reliability matters to her. She’s looking for a connection that feels mutual, grounded, and emotionally safe, not a dynamic filled with mixed signals or chaos.”

    Whether this outcome requires growing up, therapy, a period of focusing on self-improvement, or just some time, it’s safe to say that divorced people bring more than just “baggage” to the dating scene. There’s a heavy stigma against divorced folks, who are often viewed as failures or damaged, but it’s steadily getting better—partly thanks to voices like Brown’s, who are willing to challenge that outdated notion head-on.

  • Gen Z has fallen in love with Bumpits and, just like that, early 2000s pouf hairstyles are everywhere again
    Gen Z has fallen in love with Bumpits.Photo credit: TikTok/@katie.org (with permission)
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    Gen Z has fallen in love with Bumpits and, just like that, early 2000s pouf hairstyles are everywhere again

    Gen Z is obsessed with the 2000s and 2010s, which they’ve labeled the “last era of sweet delusion.” They’ve also latched onto a number of Millennial fashion trends, including low-rise jeans. There’s no doubt that Gen Z has established plenty of its own fashion trends, from suits with shorts to barrel jeans. But the generation…

    Gen Z is obsessed with the 2000s and 2010s, which they’ve labeled the “last era of sweet delusion.” They’ve also latched onto a number of Millennial fashion trends, including low-rise jeans.

    There’s no doubt that Gen Z has established plenty of its own fashion trends, from suits with shorts to barrel jeans. But the generation is also embracing a ’00s hair trend that has Millennials shook: the hair pouf, a bubbly bouffant style popularized by celebrities like Laguna Beach star Lauren Conrad and Jersey Shore standout Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi.

    Now, Gen Z is getting a little extra help from one iconic volumizing hair accessory: Bumpits.

    Gen Z is bringing back Bumpits

    On TikTok, many Gen Zers are showing off the results of their 2000s hair transformations using Bumpits. Inspired by French actress Brigitte Bardot’s legendary bouffant style, Gen Z is also putting its own twist on how it uses Bumpits.

    Hairstylist Stephanie Angelone told Bustle that Bumpits are coming back with Gen Z in a “more lax way.”

    @katie.org

    Replying to @emma liz this was a great way to start off the series and we should bring these back #fyp #hair #bumpit #asseenontv

    ♬ Yacht Club – MusicBox

    “Millennials used dozens of bobby pins to pin their pouf into place, which made it very defined, almost like an updo,” she said. “Gen Z prefers micro claw clips so it’s easy and effortless.”

    Gen Zers are documenting themselves trying out Bumpits in different styles, from half-up, half-down ‘dos to simple hair-down looks. Many note that it takes multiple tries to get it right, but once they do, they love the results.

    @abbimae_

    Bringing back the Bump It Take 2!! 🥲 any help would be greatly appreciated, I never had one as a child so I’m still learning 😂 #bumpit #bumpitup

    ♬ original sound – Abbi-Mae💌

    TikToker @blackhairedbrat noted, “While figuring out how to secure everything, I realized it’s essential to tease all the hair up to hide the Bump-It properly. Otherwise, it might lead to an embarrassing peek-a-boo of the hidden accessory!”

    Once she figured it out, she was a happy camper: “So far, I’d give this a solid 7 out of 10. It’s definitely something I would use, especially for those blessed with thick hair.”

    The history of Bumpits

    Bumpits were invented by Kelly Fitzpatrick-Bennett and made their debut in 2009 on the now-defunct As Seen on TV channel. Fitzpatrick-Bennett claims that more than 10 million units were sold.

    In an interview on Fran Drescher’s talk show, she explained that her career as a hairdresser inspired her to create Bumpits after clients came in wanting hair like Jennifer Aniston’s on Friends—but didn’t have the volume for it.

    Bumpits featured an over-the-top commercial with dramatic clips of women struggling to achieve volumized looks that seem to be cemented in Millennial memories.

    “Are you exhausted from dealing with flat, lifeless hairstyles? Do you find yourself using an entire can of hairspray just to achieve that voluminous look? It’s time to ‘bump it up’ with the iconic Bumpit!” the commercial said.

    Millennials react

    On Reddit, Millennials shared their personal experiences and funny stories wearing Bumpits back in the day:

    “Ooof, I totally used to use these 😬To be fair, I was in cosmetology school and that hairstyle was popular at the time. One Saturday a bunch of my classmates and I went out to a bar after school and I ran into a guy I had a HUGE crush on. He is extremely tall and when he bent down to give me a hug, his chin hit the bump-it HARD, it scratched his chin and rammed the bump-it into my scalp. Embarrassing and painful and I’m sure the reason we never dated. I stopped wearing them shortly after that, but I still have them around here somewhere.”

    “I felt indignant at the time that they didn’t make them for red hair…My perspective has changed somewhat in hindsight.”

    “I had one, didn’t work.”

    “Used these RELIGIOUSLY during the time ‘Jersey Shore’ was coming out. Even used one for my prom hair 😭😭😂😂.”

    “I could never get mine to not be visible. I have fine hair and had lots of it at the time, but no matter how I tried, I couldn’t get the blessed thing hidden completely.”

    “I still have mine 🤣🤣🤣.”

    “Being a HS cheerleader in 2008-2010 in the Midwest, these were EVERYTHING.”

    “This trend was so awful. It brings back hilarious memories.”

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