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Evan Porter

Parenting

Frustrated mom goes off for 2-minutes on the 'professionalization' of kids sports

"When did extracurriculars become so EXTRA?"

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One mom has had enough with so-called casual extracurriculars that require massive family commitments

"Let's sign our six-year-old up for soccer!" you think one day, trying to be the good involved parent. It's all fun and games at first, and there doesn't seem to be much of a downside. Your child will get exercise, learn teamwork and cooperation, develop leadership skills, and get valuable time outside away from tablets and other screens. The games will be fun, and there will be snacks, Gatorade, and, of course, the orange slices. What could go wrong?

Fast forward two years, and suddenly you're at practice until seven p.m. three nights per week and arranging to travel out of town for a weekend tournament in Jacksonville. Your house is in shambles, you're living off of fast food, and your bank account is screaming at you to stop signing up for extra private training sessions and off-season leagues.

When did it get like this? Didn't there once be a time when kids could casually play sports without worrying about whether they'd be able to get a college scholarship or go pro one day?

One frustrated mom on TikTok is wondering the same thing, and just unleashed a perfect monologue against what she calls the "professionalization" or youth sports.

kids, youth sports, kids sports, soccer, dance, ballet, parents, parenting, moms, motherhood, childrensoccer win GIF by America's Funniest Home VideosGiphy

The mom, who goes by @LittleRedSchoolHouse on social media, has a daughter who takes ballet—and it's driving her to the brink. "My daughter is in dance, and that's great, she loves it. But she doesn't want to be a ballerina, she doesn't want to be a professional dancer. She just likes to go to her class and dance," she says.

Yet, despite the casual nature of the class, the mom suddenly found herself signed up for a whopping three performances in a 24-hour period. The kicker is that her daughter would only be dancing for five minutes in each show.

"We have to be there for 12 hours so she can dance for 15 minutes." And then there's tickets to buy, costume fees, paying for her daughter to be in the performance (a separate fee from the usual tuition!), and a fundraiser to participate in to raise additional money. It's a massive time and financial commitment from the family.

"I think we need to normalize kids being able to participate in activities and extracurriculars without professionalizing them as parents. For example, kids should be able to play soccer without having to go to league championships or weekend-long jamborees or away games," she says. "They should be able to gain the skill of playing on a team, learning how to play a sport, being physical, having fun with their friends, getting out there and being active, without being forced into this, ‘More, more, more, go, go, go, go, you must be the best at it,’ sort of behavior."

You can watch the whole, compelling argument here:


@littleredschoolhouseco

Not to mention that this kind of commitment is difficult for parents or kids with disabilities, and families in general who have more than one kid that participates in activities. When did extra curriculars become so EXTRA? More is not always better! #letthembelittle #homeschoolextracurricular #parenting

Parents poured into the comments to air their own grievances with the current state of youth sports culture:

"Travel teams are SO out of control."

"What’s even crazier is if you don’t commit like this when they’re little they’re almost guaranteed to not make the school teams when they get to it at grade level."

"I think it’s also ruined kids' sense of self-worth and reality. Not everyone can go pro, and that’s okay, and it also makes kids think that only rich kids can go pro."

"Privatization ruins everything. Public rec leagues and classes are age-appropriate, inclusive, and affordable. Kids learn skills and have fun, and they can change activities every season if they want."

Adults aren't immune to this same system and culture. We can't even have hobbies anymore without feeling like we need to somehow monetize them into a side hustle or eventually go pro. So it makes sense that kids aren't allowed to play sports for fun without having big ambitions of playing at the university level. This creates a paradox described well by a Vox article whereby only kids from families with the most resources even have a shot at playing at high levels. Only "semi-rich" families can afford the time and money it takes to stay involved with high-stakes leagues.

kids, youth sports, kids sports, soccer, dance, ballet, parents, parenting, moms, motherhood, childrenRunning around, drinking Gatorade, and eating oranges. That's what youth sports should be! Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

Some users chimed in to blame parents for pushing too hard and trying to "live vicariously" through their children. But the point of the viral TikTok was that parents are often in a bind where there aren't any more casual options, and they have to choose between high-stakes activities or no activities at all.

Kids who want to obsess over being the best and chase the highest highs of their chosen sport should have those opportunities. But there should also be low-stakes activities available through public parks, churches, the YMCA, and other community centers. Until those options start coming back, kids and parents alike will be paying the price.

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The remote island where residents speak a fascinating blend of Southern and Old English

Experts say Ocracoke's endlessly-entertaining dialect is rapidly disappearing.

BBC Global/YouTube & EZScore/Flickr

An isolated island called Ocracoke is home to a unique accent not found anywhere else in the world

American English comes in all sorts of different flavors and varieties. I grew up in Baltimore, which shares some dialectical DNA with the accent you find in other Northeastern cities like Philadelphia. Baldamor, hon! There's the New England dialects, most famously the Boston accent: Pahk the cah at Havahd yahd! The New York accent is world famous, as is the deep Southern twang, which gives way to a thick Cajun accent the closer you get to the water in Florida and Louisiana.

These are all different versions of the greater American dialect. But there is one place, a tiny island off the coast of North Carolina, where a few residents speak in such a unique way that it's not even identified as American by most people around the world.

Ocracoke, North Carolina is home to a unique dialect called the Brogue: A strange blend of American Southern, Old Elizabethan English, with little bits of Irish and even Australian thrown in.


ocracoke, north carolina, the brogue, hoi toider, accents, dialect, language, linguistics, anthropologyAmericans think Hoi Toider sounds English. People from England think it sounds like something else.Giphy

The Brogue, also known as Hoi Toider, is absolutely fascinating to hear in action. When you watch interviews with the locals of the island, they at first appear to be speaking a form of deep American southern — you can hear the twang the way you might in parts of Georgia of Alabama. But then, without warning, a word or phrase will slip out that sounds distinctly British. Old English even. Then you'll swear you hear a bit of Irish!

The dialect owes its roots to a surprising source: Pirates.

Pirates loved to hide out on Ocracoke as the island is incredibly remote, about 20 miles from the mainland of North Carolina. Even today there are no bridges or flights to Ocracoke; it can only be reached by a (quite lengthy) boat ride. Eventually, the island was actually purchased by the Blackbeard's quartermaster (yes, that Blackbeard), William Howard, where he created something of a pirate settlement. English sailors and Native American tribes also passed through and had their own unique impact on the culture and developing language of the island.


ocracoke, north carolina, blackbeard, pirates, the brogue, hoi toider, accents, dialect, language, linguistics, anthropologyLegend has it Blackbeard himself named the island.Giphy

In case have your doubts about the island's buccaneerish roots: "In one popular island legend, Ocracoke comes from the phrase, 'Oh, crow cock,' which was spoken by the infamous pirate Blackbeard as he waited to do battle at sunrise with the governor’s forces that had come to capture him," writes a guide from NC State University.

The dialect had a lot of room to develop without much outside influence. The BBC writes, "Howard's community lived in near-isolation for almost two centuries. Electricity didn't arrive at the island until 1938 and a ferry service didn't start until 1957, leaving the islanders cut off except for the occasional supply trip to the mainland."

That's why Hoi Toider is still alive to this day, although its speaking population has dwindled. Here are a few hallmark phrases of the unique dialect:

A 'dingbatter' is anyone not from the island; a tourist. An 'O'Cocker' is anyone born on the island of Ocracoke. A 'buck' is a good male friend, while a 'puck' is a female friend. The Brogue uses 'weren't' liberally for singular nouns ("The sun weren't out yesterday.") and frequently adds an 'a' in front of verbs ("We went a-fishin' this morning").

But to fully appreciate Hoi Toider, you've got to hear it in action:


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Experts say, as awesome as the Brogue is, it will likely disappear within the next 50 years.

Though the island remains about as remote as it comes, in 2025 there's no escaping the influence of social media, television, and film. Every generation born on the island is a smidge less-adoptive of the Brogue than the one that came before.

It will probably be mostly gone in the next couple of generations, which feels like a tragedy. Instead of "dingbatter" and "buck," the kids will be saying "Skibidi toilet" and "rizz." OK, maybe that's an exaggeration, but young people growing up on the island won't be as immersed in the language as their elders and will begin to speak more and more like your average American.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

There's a concept called culture homogenization. It's the idea that over time, because of technology and globalization, unique individual cultures from around the world will all start to look more and more the same. It's why you see fast food restaurants directly next to the Leaning Tower of Pisa and people all over the globe listening to the same handful of musical artists.

Ocracoke has managed to hang on longer than most places due to how difficult it is to reach. Here's hoping that the Ocracoke Brogue can survive somehow, some way, in little pockets of the island. It's just too dang cool and interesting to go away just yet.

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Parenting

Mom sparks debate when she says she no longer brings snacks and water when out with her 3-year-old

The teachers loved the idea. Not all the parents were convinced.

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A mom went viral for explaining why she won't bring snacks and water on short outings with her 3-year-old

It's a struggle all parents run into eventually. It becomes too much, and far too annoying, to be responsible for every aspect of your children's lives and well-being. At some point, they need to start taking ownership over the things that are important to them. When they hit the age where they begin to really care about what they wear? They better be involved in doing their own laundry! Got soccer practice? Better remember to get dressed and pack your bag before it's time to go.

Mom and dad can't be the only ones keeping everyone on track 24/7. But, of course, this is a battle that's fought both in our homes and in American culture at large. Kids are less independent now than the were in previous generations. Fewer kids walk to school or play outside unsupervised. And some say that it shows.

One mom is using a "harsh" parenting technique to instill this kind of independence in her kids from an early age.


moms, mothers, parenting, kids, toddlers, babies, consequences, punishment, psychologySome argue that kids need tough love from an early age to learn independence and responsibility. Photo by Gabe Pierce on Unsplash

Chelsea, a professor and homesteader, recently took to TikTok to share some words of wisdom that have helped her in raising her 1- and 3-year-olds without collapsing from constant overwhelm.

"I don't know who needs to hear this but if you have little kids, you have to try one of my favorite recent parenting techniques," she says in the selfie-style video. "This might sound a little crazy or a little crude, but i promise if you listen, I will explain how this has added so much value."

She begins by offering an example of a scenario most parents can relate to.

"The other day we were driving in the car and from the backseat [my 3-year-old] calls 'Mom, I'm hungry!' My response to her when she said she was hungry was 'Oh, did you bring a snack?'"

The essence of Chelsea's independence technique is that she no longer brings snacks, water, or entertainment like books and games on short trips out with her kids. Instead, she pushes them to remember to bring what they need.

"I know, this sounds a little harsh. I promise, I'm not letting them go hungry, I'm not letting them go thirsty," Chelsea says. "They are very hydrated, well fed kids. This is used in very specific scenarios. But what this does is it puts a little bit of the responsibility and the ownership on them."

"Number one, it helps her understand that she has to take some responsibility in bringing something [she needs.]" Though, the mom of two adds that she helps remind her daughter before they leave the house to make sure she has everything she needs.

"I'm helping her prepare, but i'm also teaching her a little bit of a natural consequence. Because if she doesn't bring her water or her snack, then her natural consequence is she doesn't get snack."

After using this technique for a while, Chelsea notices that her daughter will remember on her own far more often. And if she does forget, mom's often got her back. Chelsea states that if her daughter forgets her water and mom just so happens to have one for her, her daughter is incredibly grateful and appreciative. I think all parents would like more of that sentiment from their kids!

Watch the whole clip here:

@sunny_acres_regen_farm

My small contribution to making the next generation less entitled #mom #toddlermom #toddlers #parenting #homestead

The video racked up over 400,000 views and left parents, teachers, and other commenters extremely divided.

Some loved the idea. Teachers, especially, were keen on the idea of kids coming into their classrooms having learned more responsibility and independence at home from a young age:

"I’m a teacher and this will help your children so much. A lot of kids don’t know how to solve problems or take responsibility"

"I’m a kindergarten teacher and I approve this message"

"As a teacher, thank you. I can tell asap when a child had never been responsible for a single thing in their life. Then they get to kinder and are lost bc someone has always done everything for them"

Teachers have a great perspective because they see and work closely with so many kids. They're really plugged in to bigger trends and concerns that affect the entire age group and not just one single kid or family. So when they say kids need to learn more independence early, it's usually a good idea to listen.

Some commenters chimed in that they, themselves, were raised this way, or had used similar approaches successfully with their own kids:

"Seriously, I don’t remember being offered snacks and drinks constantly or having them always around anywhere all the time. If we were out and about a lot of times I had to wait (within reason)"

"I did this with my now adult children. My youngest (18) is constantly shocked by his friends who aren’t like him and his siblings."

Some people, however, had concerns with whether this technique was age-appropriate for a toddler:


moms, mothers, parenting, kids, toddlers, babies, consequences, punishment, psychologyIt can be tough for toddlers to think ahead about the future consequences of their behavior.Giphy

"my boomer mom said things like this and it created a lot of anxiety that I had to remember to take care of myself and I felt abandoned"

"I dont like this at all! Why should a THREE year old need to be concerned with bringing her own water?"

"a good technique for older kids but i think your kids are too young so it's not a developmentally appropriate expectation"

"A more age appropriate way would be have her help you pack her bag."

These commenters are right in that natural consequences is a very effective parenting technique, but it can also be fraught. There's a fine line between teaching kids responsibility and making them feel like no one is looking out for them. 3-years-old is a really tricky age for this kind of parenting. Toddlers can understand immediate cause-and-effect relationships, but have trouble linking their actions with future consequences. So while there's nothing wrong with introducing concepts of consequences, independence, and responsibility to kids 3 and under, it's important to keep expectations in line with what's age-appropriate.

It sounds like Chelsea's got a good handle on the right balance, but in less-careful hands this kind of approach could be a disaster.


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Thousands of people get lost in the desert every year, but these otherworldly solar beacons could save them

They look like save checkpoints in a video game, and they kind of are.

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Solar-powered beacons in the Saudi Arabian desert guide lost travelers to water.

Chief among my worries as a kid was what I considered the high probability that at some point in my life I would be trapped in quicksand. It felt extremely important that I remember all the tricks and techniques for getting out — just in case! A close second would have to be getting lost in the desert and dying of dehydration. You absolutely had to watch out for those deadly mirages, where the light on the horizon bends in such a way that you're certain you can see water up ahead.

At least one of those fears was fairly well-founded. All jokes aside, the desert is an incredibly dangerous place. It turns out that thousands of people get lost and go missing in deserts across the world every year. The Sahara Desert, the largest hot desert in the world, claimed a staggering 8,000 lives alone in 2023. These aren't overly flippant explorers, for the most part. Many migrants fleeing conflict zones across the desert become lost and suffer a tragic fate while trying to navigate the 3.6 million square mile area. There are many things that make the desert deadly, but dehydration with no access to water is at the top.

A team in Saudi Arabia has been testing a new technology that could drastically reduce dehydration-related deaths in the country's Al-Nafud Desert, and it looks like something straight out of a video game.

Though the Al-Nafud desert is quite a bit smaller than the Sahara standing at about 25,000 square miles, it can still be daunting to cross. Most years, hundreds of people go missing with several dozen of them perishing in the process.

An explorer named Mohammad Fohaid Al-Sohaiman had a brilliant idea to help lost travelers find water. Having been rescued in the desert himself, even as an experienced survivalist and outdoorsman, he knew there had to be a better way.

“Many people lost their lives in the desert near water resources because they did not know that water resources were close to them,” he told Arab News.

The idea: Beacons made of laser light, shot directly into the sky near water sources such as water wells. These powerful lights could be seen from miles away and would be powered by solar panels, ensuring they never go dark.

The plan is to eventually install 100 of the beacons throughout the Saudi Arabian desert.

The program to install the life-saving beacons began in 2021. It's still getting attention and inspiring awe all over the world.

A recent viral Reddit thread highlighted the innovative laser lights, and users were impressed:

"Absolutely brilliant! The rest of the world should immediately begin to implement this system in their desert areas as well as open oceans where water, food and communication devices could be stored for boaters in distress."

"This is such an amazing idea."

Others joked to the beams look like "save points" or "checkpoints" in a video game. They're not wrong!

Some have criticized the beacons, however, claiming that the light pollution may harm the desert's natural environment and residents like nocturnal animals and insects.



The desert holds vast potential for solar power due to its massive open spaces and plentiful sunlight. In fact, solar farms are common in deserts all over the world.

However, there are a couple of limitations that stop us from covering all the world's deserts in solar panels and completely converting to solar energy.

First, people underestimate how destructive and harsh the desert environment really is. Sand is incredibly corrosive, especially when whipped around in high-powered sandstorms. Maintaining solar equipment in the desert is incredibly challenging and costly.

Second, we think of deserts as open wasteland, but that's a misnomer. They're actually incredibly biodiverse natural habitats, home to many different forms of plant, animal, bird, and insect life. The desert habitat is no less important to preserve than rainforests or oceans.

Third, while solar energy is generally considered incredibly eco-friendly, massive solar farms can actually put off quite a bit of heat. A desert-sized solar farm would emit so much heat that it could negatively contribute to global warming and have devastating effects.


In any case, the life-saving beacons are a genius idea and a fantastic use of solar technology. Once the program is fully rolled out, it could save dozens or even hundreds of lives every year.

Just imagine a similar operation conducted in the massive Sahara Desert, or even in remote stretches of the American southwest.

As one commenter stated perfectly, "Now this is the type of innovation for the future I can get behind."

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