upworthy

Evan Porter

Modern Families

NBA star's newest superfan is his girlfriend's sports-agnostic grandma

Grandma didn't care for sports. Now she's got Jaylin William's game schedule on the fridge.

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NBA star Jaylin Williams' newest and biggest fan is his girlfriend's grandma

It's a tall task for anyone to integrate themselves into their partner's family. You need to thread the needle of being polite and likable, but you can't be a pushover. The family has to respect you and view you as a good match for their daughter or son. And then there are individual relationships to build and nurture with each member of the family.

When you're a celebrity and your partner is a mostly regular person? It must be doubly hard. Once the razzle dazzle of being starstruck has worn off, family members are bound to have a lot of questions about your sincerity and your intentions.

Alanna Harris recently shared that her boyfriend, NBA player Jaylin Williams, has done an excellent job of becoming part of her family. He has hit it off with one surprising person, in particular: Her grandma.


jaylin williams, okc thunder, viral, heartwarming, grandma, friendshipJaylin Williams, winning on the court and with the grandmasGiphy

Jaylin Williams is an up and coming player for the Oklahoma City Thunder. The Thunder selected Williams in the second round of the 2022 NBA draft. While he's not as famous as, say, Lebron James, he's a good player who's really making a name for himself in the league. That comes with a lot of notoriety.

Harris' grandma, she says, never cared about sports, and thus had no idea who Williams was. At first. Now, she's his biggest fan. Harris posted an adorable slideshow of the two of them together on her TikTok page:

The first photo shows Harris' grandmother standing side by side with Williams, both with an arm thrown around each other. Williams' 6' 9" stature is readily apparent.

Next up is Grandma watching one of Williams' games on her phone, using a magnifying glass on the small screen. (Harris joked she was "keeping her eye out for another triple double.")

Then we've got Williams' upcoming game schedule, hand transcribed by Grandma and placed onto the fridge with a magnet (the paper is aptly titled "Basket Ball")

View the photos here.

The relationship and fandom goes ever deeper than the photos show.

"Sometimes it's hard for her to tell the players apart when she's watching on her phone because it's so tiny, so she will ask Jaylin to wear bright shoes so it's easier for her to find him," Harris told Newsweek. "He always does."

Grandma also has plenty of thoughts and opinions on how well (or not) Williams is playing in any given game.

"Sometimes she will call me during the game and ask if I can tell Jaylin he needs to shoot more when I text him at half time. I'm like, 'Grandma, the coaches know what they're doing.'"

But even though she's tough on Williams, she's still his biggest fan and defender. Harris says her grandma spends hours in Oklahoma City Thunder Facebook groups nobly defending Williams against haters and trolls.

Commenters couldn't get over the wholesome story of this improbable duo.

"Stop this is adorable"

"I know granny loved the triple double"

"The magnifying glass omg so cute"

"Grandma just tryna make sure her parlays hit," one user joked.

A user who claimed they worked for the Thunder even offered for Grandma to stop by during the next game and she'd get her a proper fridge magnet schedule. But I don't know, I kind of like the handwritten one!

Harris' post has over 5 million views and thousands of comments, both from fans of Williams and people who just love a heartwarming story.

@alanna.harris

like lets be so fr

Some say our culture has an unhealthy obsession over when celebrities date normal people, or "muggles." But we also have a perfectly normal and unstoppable obsession with adorable grandmas making friends with unexpected people.

Maybe it's because grandparents come from an older generation and, having a wealth of experience and wisdom, have far less of a filter. Grandma will let you know in no uncertain terms if she doesn't like you, and she does not have the time to put on a performance for her granddaughter's sake. So, you know the relationship is pure and genuine, as is granny's growing love of basketball. It's incredibly sweet that they've both put in the time and effort to get to know each other, and that all that effort is paying off in the family growing just a little bit bigger.

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Lighting a candle? That's basic compared to these advanced tips.

Poop anxiety isn't the most heavily studied medical field, but some estimates say up to a third of people suffer from some kind of anxiety around going to the bathroom in a public place or another person's home. On the low end, they can feel ashamed or embarrassed. At the higher end, they may avoid social functions, public events, or leaving their own home entirely. This phenomenon also tends to affect women more than men. For some people the worry gets so bad that they constipate themselves or refuse to eat, all because they're worried of what people will think of them.

But you don't have to have extreme "shy bowel" to know the uncertainty associated with feeling a rumbly tummy while you're a guest in someone's house. There are a lot of unknowns to manage. How good is their soundproofing? Does their toilet actually flush properly? Will someone be waiting to go in right after me? Some people anticipate these worries and come up with elaborate rules and routines to leave as little evidence of their go as possible.

A guy took a simple question to social media: Should you always courtesy flush when you're a guest in someone's house? The answer sparked a huge debate about the secret etiquette of public pooping.


poop, bathroom, dancing, funny, humor, toiletThis dancing poop says pooping can be fun!Giphy

In a thread on the subreddit r/NoStupidQuestions, the OP asked: "My mother tells me that at other people's houses, when going to the bathroom, it's expected to do a 'courtesy flush'. Is this a real thing?"

For the uninitiated, a courtesy flush is when you flush halfway through your "go." The thinking is that it helps get rid of odors before they build up. Not only that did the poster's mother advocate for courtesy flushing, she insisted on a very specific ritual when visiting other people's homes:

  1. Always carry Poopurri and spray before you go
  2. Flush halfway through your session
  3. Flush at the end (obviously)
  4. Clean toilet bowl with wand... every time!
If it sounds a little extreme to you, you're not alone.

However, some commenters were extremely pro-courtesy flush.

toilet, bathroom, home, hygiene, cleaning, etiquetteWhite ceramic toilet bowl with cover. Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

"I’ve done the 'courtesy flush' thing for years… mainly to help minimize lingering odors more than any other reason."

"That’s good advice. First flush on delivery, second flush with clean up. Reduces odor and skid marks."

A few people noted that the courtesy flush is common in jails and prisons, of all places. Due to the tight (extremely tight) quarters, inmates are encouraged to repeatedly flush while they go. I don't want to know what the consequence might be for violating this code.

Others claimed the courtesy flush was a waste of water:

"Flushing twice seems very wasteful in my opinion. I would not like a guest to do that."

"No, please don't waste my water. But do make sure everything goes down."

"If someone did that at my house I'd be low key annoyed at them for wasting water."

Experts agree that the effectiveness of the courtesy flush is very much up for debate. Does it mildly lessen odor? Maybe. It's also a gigantic waste of water. Older toilets can use up to six gallons per flush—yikes! An extra flush is also questionable at best when it comes to sanitation—flushing poop with the lid open is known to spray bacteria all over the bathroom. Yuck.

"Everyone poops, I don't want my guests worrying about it," wrote one commenter. "Crack a window if it's like, lethally stinky, I guess. If you clog the toilet, the plunger is in a plastic tub right there. If you need help, cool, now we have a funny story."

The courtesy flush, however, was only the beginning of the OPSEC tips for pooping in public.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Some commenters were on board with OP's mother's idea of using the toilet brush if it's available:

"If there's some brown stuck to the porcelain after I flush, and if there's a toilet brush on hand, I give it a quick cleaning and a second flush. But not if things look clean otherwise," someone wrote.

Another commenter had an even more advanced idea: "You can also float a strip of toilet paper on top of the water before you poo. Gets wrapped in paper as you drop off your delivery and less likely to leave skid marks in the bowl."

Of course, commenters in threads all over the Internet sing the praises of Poo-Pourri, or even carrying a lighter with you at all times to burn up some of the stinky oxygen. And how's this for a pro-level tip?

"Tip for the courtesy flush.. if one who finds it hard to poop in a public bathroom because you don’t want people to hear you. Flush just right before you push and the sound of the water will cover the sound of gas etc and it will go right down with the water so very minimal smell."

I mean, all you can do really is clap at the social-anxiety-fueled ingenuity on display. The experts seem to agree here. Even Healthlinerecommends carrying air purifier spray, lining the inside of the bowl with toilet paper to absorb sound, and flushing several times to reduce anxiety worries.

The general consensus is that, when pooping at someone's house, basic etiquette applies. Clean up after yourself to a normal degree, but remember, as the saying goes: Everybody poops.

Some people are really protective over the bathrooms in their homes, which is their right. But if that's the case, they really shouldn't be having guests over and expecting them not to partake in normal human biological behaviors.

Some of the advanced tips shared by anxious-pooers might help, but try not to send yourself into a tailspin trying to cover your tracks. In extreme cases of bathroom anxiety, experts say cognitive behavior therapy or even antidepressants may be needed. But the rest of us might just need to read that world famous children's book again.

Love Stories

Woman's 'controversial' take on breakups illustrates our shifting attitudes about divorce

She claims she's "never thought" one of her newly single friends made the wrong choice.

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More women than ever are being empowered to leave bad relationships.

Did you know that almost half of all people have gotten back together with an ex at some point after ending the relationship? It's so common that it's almost become a joke. Uh oh, don't let your friend have too many drinks or she'll start texting her ex. We all know trying to revive a dead romance as a comically bad idea in almost all cases.

But surely there are exceptions. There must be cases where people break up for silly or inconsequential reasons when they're really better off together. There have to be people out there who really should try to win their ex back, right? Depending on who you listen to, this may be true for men. For women? Well...

A woman recently went viral for a simple but powerful observation about her newly single friends: They're all doing just fine.

relationships, chelsea handler, love, sex, dating, breakups, divorceChelsea Handler gets it: Being single is better than being with the wrong person.Giphy

The woman, who goes by @devonstephen on TikTok, mused that in all of her experience with her female friends leaving their partners, it's always been the right decision.

"I have never met a divorced woman and never been friends with a girl going through a breakup who, after they leave their partner, I've thought, you need him back. 'Go get him back girl.' I've never thought that."

She didn't directly elaborate on why she thought that was the case, but viewers were able to fill in the context and implications quite easily. The short, 15-second clip struck a huge nerve with women everywhere, racking up over half a million views and hundreds of comments.

@devonstephen

this is my official stance on divorce #girlhood #bigsister #fyp

Though the opinion seemed controversial, commenters overwhelmingly agreed:

Seems every woman who chimed in had a story about a friend, or even themselves, coming out on the other side of a breakup better off:

"I've also never met a divorced woman doing worse in life after the divorce. They always level up"

"I've NEVER thought, 'her loss'"

"I have never met a woman who left a man and regretted it; only regretted not leaving sooner."

"Every time I tell an older woman that I’m divorced she tells me congratulations and means it"

"it’s always, 'thank god finally' she’s always so much better off!!"

"When I talk to all my elders, the grandmas and the tias, they all tell me to stay single and enjoy the life they never got to live. Watching them in their relationships makes it real bc they suffered"

It sounds harsh, and of course it doesn't reflect 100% of reality, but the comments were extremely illuminating when it comes to a rising sentiment.


@devonstephen

Replying to @itsame! 🇨🇦 the hot girl trifecta: strong, healthy, wealthy (in so many ways) #fyp #girlhood #bigsister #breakup

The latest data shows that about 41% of first marriages end in divorce. For those that get remarried, the numbers rise drastically. Divorce rates rose for decades before peaking around 1980 and going into a gradual decline in subsequent years. A stunning 70% of these divorces are initiated by women.

In the past, women, especially, were locked into bad marriages because of a lack of financial independence and the non-existence of no-fault divorce. No-fault divorce laws were introduced in the 1970s and allowed either party to leave a marriage without assigning fault or blame to the other party. These laws gave women more agency to leave marriages and some argue they even save lives to this day by allowing women to escape domestic violence without having to prove it in court.

The relatively high divorce rate (though it's down quite a bit from its peak) is often pointed to as a bad thing or as a sign of a crumbling society. But that point of view misses the bigger context. It's become more culturally acceptable to divorce, and fewer people are trapped for life in loveless or broken relationships. Women, in particular, have been empowered and given agency to leave bad, abusive, or unhappy situations.

It's probably an oversimplification to claim that women are never at fault in a break up with a solid guy or can't make mistakes in an otherwise good relationship, but the point of the video stands that, in general, when women leave a partner, it's usually for a good reason. And the difference in 2025 is that they're more empowered culturally and legally to do so, and get on with living their best lives.

Kids

Researchers reveal how behavior at age 6 affects your life at 25 in fascinating study

The team measured kindergartener's social behavior and followed up 19 years later. Here are the findings.

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Big smiles in class at kindergarten.

From an early age, we're led to believe our grades and test scores are the key to everything — namely, going to college, getting a job, and finding that glittery path to lifelong happiness and prosperity. As parents, we want to raise those A and A+ students, the valedictorians that will go on to be surgeons and scientists and heads of state. Yet, despite the fact that we have more information and communication from schools and teachers than ever, many parents find it difficult to keep tabs on whether their child is excelling or falling behind.

It can be a little stressful. But there is some good news, and that's that even if your kid isn't knocking it out of the park when it comes to standardized testing and report card, there are other ways to be assured that they're well-prepared for success when they grow up.

A study published in the American Journal of Public Health showed that when children learn to interact effectively with their peers and control their emotions, it can have an enormous impact on how their adult lives take shape. And according to the study, kids should be spending more time on these skills in school.

Nope, it's not hippie nonsense. It's science.


kindergarten, school, kids, children, elementary school, teachers, educationa group of children playing with toys on the floor Photo by BBC Creative on Unsplash

Kindergarten teachers evaluated the kids with a portion of something called the Social Competence Scale by rating statements like "The child is good at understanding other's feelings" on a handy "Not at all/A little/Moderately well/Well/Very well" scale.

The research team used these responses to give each kid a "social competency score," which they then stored in what I assume was a manila folder somewhere for 19 years, or until each kid was 25. At that point, they gathered some basic information about the now-grown-ups and did some fancy statistical stuff to see whether their early social skills held any predictive value.

Here's are 3 crucial findings they uncovered.

1. Those good test scores we covet? They still matter, but maybe not for the reasons we thought.

adam sandler, billy madison, kindergarten, school, kids, teachers, educationGiphy

Traditional thinking says that if a kid gets good grades and test scores, he or she must be really smart, right? After all, there is a proven correlation between having a better GPA in high school and making more money later in life.

But what that test score doesn't tell you is how many times a kid worked with a study partner to crack a tough problem, or went to the teacher for extra help, or resisted the urge to watch TV instead of preparing for a test. In other words, the raw grade can't measure a kid's determination, motivation, clever problem-solving skills, and ability to cooperate.

The researchers behind this project wrote, "Success in school involves both social-emotional and cognitive skills, because social interactions, attention, and self-control affect readiness for learning."

That's a fancy way of saying that while some kids may just be flat-out brilliant, most of them need more than just smarts to succeed. Maybe it wouldn't hurt spending a little more time in school teaching kids about the social half of the equation.

2. Skills like sharing and cooperating pay off later in life.

kindergarten, schools, elementary school, curriculum, teachers, students, kids, children, parentingpeople sitting on blue carpet Photo by CDC on Unsplash

We know we need to look beyond GPA and state-mandated testing to figure out which kids are on the right path. That's why the researchers zeroed in so heavily on that social competency score.

What they found probably isn't too surprising: Kids who related well to their peers, handled their emotions better, and were good at resolving problems went on to have more successful lives.

What's surprising is just how strong the correlation was.

An increase of a single point in social competency score showed a child would be 54% more likely to earn a high school diploma, twice as likely to graduate with a college degree, and 46% more likely to have a stable, full-time job at age 25.

The kids who were always stealing toys, breaking things, and having meltdowns? More likely to have run-ins with the law and substance abuse problems.

The study couldn't say for sure that strong or poor social skills directly cause any of these things. But we can say for sure that eating too much glue during arts and crafts definitely doesn't help.

3. Social behaviors can be learned and unlearned — meaning it's never too late to change.

The researchers called some of these pro-social behaviors like sharing and cooperating "malleable," or changeable.

Let's face it: Some kids are just never going to be rocket scientists. Turns out there are physical differences in our brains that make learning easier for some people than others. But settling disputes with peers? That's something kids (and adults) can always continue to improve on.

And guess what? For a lot of kids, these behaviors come from their parents. The more you're able to demonstrate positive social traits like warmth and empathy, the better off your kids will be.

So can we all agree to stop yelling at people when they take the parking spot we wanted?

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

This study has definite limitations, which its researchers happily admit. While it did its best to control for as many environmental factors as possible, it ultimately leans pretty heavily on subjective measures like whether a teacher thought a kid was just "good" or "very good" at a given trait.

For example, another study released in 2022 showed that kids with poor sleep quality and "excessive daytime sleepiness" (Hey, I think I might have that!) demonstrated worse prosocial behavior. So what goes on at home clearly has a big impact that's tough for teachers and researchers to measure in the classroom.

Still, the 19-year study paints a pretty clear picture: Pro-social behavior matters, even at a young age. And because it can be learned, it's a great "target for prevention or intervention efforts."

The bottom line? We need to do more than just teach kids information. We need to invest in teaching them how to relate to others and how to handle the things they're feeling inside. That could look like taking time to help children label their emotions, encouraging cooperative work (the dreaded group project may be beneficial after all), or prioritizing children learning study skills and problem solving and not just the material at hand. Of course, teachers are already up to their eyeballs in rigid curriculum standards and often don't have the time or independence to go off script, which is a problem in and of itself.

Ignoring social skills in our curricula could have huge ramifications for our kids down the road.

This article originally appeared nine years ago.