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Cecily Knobler

Culture

Nate Bargatze brilliantly explains what Xennials are and why they feel caught between generations

Somewhere between GenX and Millennials is a generation all its own.

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File:Nate Bargatze.jpg - Wikimedia Commons

Never heard of Xennials before? You're not alone! It just so happens, the term Xennial first appeared in an article for GOOD Magazine by writers Sarah Stankorb (who coined the term) and Jed Oelbaum. It was described as "a micro-generation that serves as a bridge between the disaffection of Gen X and the blithe optimism of Millennials." Other unique terms have come to describe this group (roughly figured to have been born between 1977-1983.)

These include The Star Wars Generation, The Oregon Trail Generation, and Generation Catalano, (the latter suggested by Slate writer Doree Shafrir in reference to Jordan Catalano on the hit 90s TV show My So-Called Life.) In @sourcomedy's clip making the rounds on Tiktok, Nate gives us the reasons Xennials are truly awesome. Here are a few hilarious takeaways from Nate's bit on the topic:

Growing up as a young kid felt safe.

boy holding on swing bench Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash


"When I was a kid, it felt like the 50s. You'd go outside and your parents just didn't know where you were. We went to school to school and played Oregon Trail on a computer at school! No one had a computer at home - it's like what are you a Zillionaire?"

They still had privacy.


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While Nate shares he got AOL, a home computer, a beeper and a cell phone in high school, he didn't have social media until he was 26 with Myspace.

"Whatever I did in high school is a rumor. It can't ruin my life!"

You are equally impressed and disappointed by other generations.


@sourcomedy

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On a hotel stay, the Chromecast on his TV stopped working so he called the front desk. "The oldest voice I ever heard answers the phone. This guy was a Civil War survivor. I mean, he was the age where you just go 'Thank you for your service.' So I tell him my Chromecast is not working and I could have just made up a word. I mean, he's never heard of that. I could have said 'My beep bop broke.' He goes, 'Look, I don't know what this is. But there's a younger guy, I'm gonna send him up, he'll be able to help you."

A guy shows up, Nate muses, and he's "his dad's age." Nate immediately determines that if he can't fix it, this guy can't either. "But he's the generation that still wants to give it a try. So he comes into my room, sits on my bed, just a little too far back, I thought."

He then says the guy grabbed the remote and just started pressing everything. Nate suggests, "I'm gonna turn the shower on, open a window, let's try everything!"

The "pressing all the buttons" tactic shockingly doesn't work. Nate shares that the guy finally says, "Alright, there's a younger guy. He's about to come to work. And at this point, I'm like 'I'm the younger guy, man. It's alright dude, I don't need it.' And he goes, 'No, no, no, it's a Millennial." And I was like 'Alright, now we're getting somewhere. This is what the Millennial does. He was born with technology, he's gonna know how to fix this!"

So the guy says the Millennial will arrive to work in an hour. And Nate tells us, "Let me tell you. You know how quick that Millennial fixed it? Well, I'll never know because he just didn't come to work that night."

And guess who relayed this message. "I found out because the old guy called me. He was supposed to fill in for him. He was furious, dude. He hates that Millennial. He goes 'He never comes to work. He doesn't take it serious. He's got a peanut allergy.'"

In the end, it took a Xennial to figure it out. "I ended up fixing it myself, because it was just unplugged. So that's yeah…that's my fault."

This article originally appeared in February

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Health

A former hoarder gives life-changing hacks on how to declutter your world

"I was literally drowning in clutter."

Photo by Samet Kurtkus on Unsplash

A hoarder's home.

Sometimes, it simply starts with one pile. Some receipts, pay stubs, and bills. Then another pile forms—a shirt you meant to hang up, some workout gear. The piles begin to multiply, and before you know it, they've erupted like tiny volcanoes spewing lava (and junk) around your home. If you don’t even know where to begin in terms of clean-up, you're not alone.

cleaning, clutter, piles, hoarding, hoarderCleaning Hoarding GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy

Mai Zimmy, on the TikTok page Mom Life & Cleaning, knows this feeling all too well. With over 400,000 followers and 9.1 million likes, she's living proof that an inability to organize is more common than one might think. In one post, she confesses that she was once a hoarder while showing screenshots of her cluttered house in 2020. Her voiceover exclaims, "I was literally drowning in clutter" as the camera pans over a junk-filled bathtub she dubs the "trash tub."

Now, just a few years later, she has helpful tips on how to remedy the situation. She mentions, right off the bat, that she learned the fundamental methods from "Queen" Marie Kondo. Questions like "Does it spark joy? Have you used/worked with it in the last year? Remove duplicates" and more, made famous by Kondo, help her begin. This leads to the truthful realization, "You can't clean clutter."

The first step, she says, is to "Learn to let go." Per Kondo, she shows how to put things into categories and work through them one step at a time.

@maizimmy

Ok. Maybe I was 1% of the problem 😆😅 people ask me all the time how I got my house in order when it was SO FAR GONE. The decluttering and cleaning schedule was HUGE. But even more than that was how my life has changed and just gotten easier over time. The babies aren’t helpless babies forever. It gets easier there for sure one they are in grade school. Plus, the obvious elephant in the room 😅 being a divorced mom in MY situation is about 100 times easier than what I was going through as a “married single mom”. I by no means want to promote divorce, but I do want to promote healthy marriages. No marriage counselor would have ever said my marriage was healthy and that is abundantly clear with how stress free life feels after leaving. #momlife #motherhood #cleantok #cleaningmotivation #cleanwithme #declutter @Procter & Gamble @Clorox

Step two is to "Implement a cleaning schedule." The idea is for that decluttering becomes an actual habit, etched into your mind. She urges people to "find cleaning schedules that work for you." She writes over a cleaning video, "I personally aim to do a nightly reset of the kitchen and living room before bed because these are the most-used parts of my home." She adds, "Then I have my weekly 1.5-hour reset and the occasional 'panic clean' before people come over lol."

Zimmy tells us that the third step is the most important to remember: "Give yourself some grace." She confesses, "When my home was at its worst, I was a 'married single mom' of three kids, two and under." She further relays that she had a full-time job, only to come home "to the second shift of taking care of everything for everyone." She then, adorably, throws some clothes into drawers, writing she still believes in the #NoFoldMethod.

She stresses the idea that "sometimes we're just in the thick of it. Things won't be so crazy forever, and to make the effort to do what you can in the free moments you have." She jokes, "As kids grow and life sorts itself out, you'll realize you were never the problem. Everyone else was." (She then notes in her TikTok description, "Okay, maybe I was ONE percent of the problem.")

Many in the comments seemed to really connect to her use of the phrase "married single mom." Zimmy also writes, "I by no means want to promote divorce, but I do want to promote healthy marriages. No marriage counselor would have ever said my marriage was healthy, and that is abundantly clear with how stress-free life feels after leaving."

In Zimmy's vulnerability, she gets to the root of what was or wasn’t working for her without vilifying anyone. Decluttering is so much more than tidying up, and many therapists explain what it can do to lift depression and anxiety. In her piece "The Many Mental Benefits of Decluttering" for Psychology Today, Diane Roberts Stoler, Ed.D. writes, "Excessive clutter often leads to feelings of shame, hopelessness, and guilt. The feelings can spiral, making it difficult to find the motivation to address the clutter. If someone is already suffering from depression, a cluttered home can worsen that depression. It is often a cycle. The more depressed you get, the harder it is to clean and organize."

Big and small changes, with a game plan and grace for yourself, can help break the shame spiral and get your living space actually "livable" again.

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Health

Tom Cruise has advice for people with social anxiety, and it's actually pretty great

His words had a "profound impact" on a co-star's life.

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Tom Cruise

Not only can Tom Cruise do his own stunts, he's a good therapist too. His Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part One co-star, Haley Atwell, has revealed that she, like so many of us, struggles with social anxiety. On the Reign with Josh Smith podcast, she discusses how it often overwhelms her and makes her want to retreat.

Tom Cruise, mission impossible, stunt, stunt man, actor, filmTom Cruise Mi GIF by Mission: ImpossibleGiphy

But she was saved by incredibly insightful advice from Tom Cruise, which she imparts to the audience. After describing him as a positive "hair dryer" just blowing his positive energy around, Josh asks, "What's the best pep talk he's given you?" Haley answers, "Social anxiety tends to be something that people talk about a lot at the moment. It seems to be quite a buzzword of conversation."

They both agree that everyone has some version of anxiety, whether it's in a big group of people, a new work environment, or even just around a small group of friends. She confesses, "For me, I start to retreat into myself and overthink. 'Do I look weird? Do I seem awkward?' I'm not speaking, I'm just muffling my words or I need something to numb me from this.'"

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Luckily, Cruise has quite a simple way to combat these feelings. "The pep talk he gave me helps, which is that if you walk into a room and feel the anxieties coming, try doing the opposite. Try to look OUT and look around the room and go, 'Where is it? Where is the thing I have attached to my insecurity?'"

The idea is to pinpoint the place where her (or any of our) anxiety might be rooted. "Is it that person over there who reminds me of my high school bully? Is it that person over there who didn't give me a job once?" Once the source is recognized, if possible, Cruise suggests asking yourself, "Where does it live outside of me, and where do I feel like the source might be coming from?"

Haley emphasizes that examining her fear, which Cruise encourages, truly helps the anxiety subside. She continues, "If I look at it for long enough, the anxiety then can have a name. It can have a label and be contained, instead of free-floating, where I'm just in a total struggle internally with my own anxiety." Seeing through this prism, she shares, "If I’m scared of something, if I keep looking at it long enough, it tends to not be the monster under the bed anymore."


Actress, Hayley Atwell, social anxiety, mental health, actingFile:Hayley Atwell.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

Naming the emotion, whether it's jealousy, loneliness, etc., can help you outwardly address it so that it doesn't fester in your mind. She reiterates Cruise's words: "If you're scared of something, just keep looking at it. Try not to look away, and it will often give you information about how to overcome it."

Cruise's advice isn't all that different from many professional therapists. In the blog post, "How to overcome social anxiety: 8 tips and strategies" (clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA, for Calm.com,) ideas on how to overcome social anxiety are given and number one on the list could have been written by Cruise himself: "Identify your triggers," they write, explaining, "The first step to managing social anxiety is understanding what sparks it. Triggers can be unique to each person. Some might find large gatherings intimidating, while for others, it might be public speaking. To identify your triggers, keep a journal of your feelings and the situations that make you anxious. Recognizing these triggers is a crucial step in managing your reactions to them."


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

They also suggest, among other ideas, breathing techniques such as the 4-7-8 method: breathing in for 4 seconds, holding for 7, and breathing out for 8. They also advise "challenging negative thought patterns." They explain, "Practice challenging these thoughts. Ask yourself: 'Is this thought based on facts or feelings? What's the best thing that could happen?' Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones can help reduce feelings of anxiety."

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Internet

The Yanny vs. Laurel debate is back and what you hear could reveal the 'age' of your ears

What you hear might depend on your age.

Photo by Anna Keibalo on Unsplash

What did you hear?

In 2015, many of us had our minds blown by the "Dress" debate. It started with a post and became an Internet sensation. Was the color of this random dress posted on social media black and blue, or white and gold? Arguments erupted. Scientists got involved. We looked at each other with suspicion. And for some, it was never truly resolved.

Fast forward three years, and the internet exploded again, this time with an auditory feud. A video started making the rounds with a simple recording of a word said over and over. Some heard "Laurel." Some heard "Yanny." None of it seemed to make sense. Two people could be sitting in the same room with the same speakers and hear two entirely different words.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Just as theorists came forward to explain the dress phenomenon, Reddit threads and YouTube channels exploded with explanations. Some thought it was the treble/bass settings that influenced what people heard in the recording. But that didn’t explain how people could listen from the same device and still hear different words.

Brad Story, a professor of Speech, Language, and Hearing at the University of Arizona, did a little digging. In the 2018 CNN article, "Yanny or Laurel: What Science Has to Say," writer Amanda Jackson notes that, "Story ran an acoustic analysis on the viral recording of the computerized voice. He also recorded himself saying 'Yanny' and 'Laurel' for comparison."

She shares that Story reported, "When I analyzed the recording of Laurel, that third resonance is very high for the L. It drops for the R and then rises again for the L. The interesting thing about the word 'Yanny' is that the second frequency that our vocal tract produces follows almost the same path, in terms of what it looks like spectrographically, as 'Laurel.'"

He also noted that if you alter the pitch of the recording, you might hear the other word. "Most likely, the original recording was ‘Laurel,’" Jackson adds. "If you heard 'Laurel,' you are the winner and have earned bragging rights for this round of the Internet debate."

yammy, laurel, gif, auditory understanding, man, mind blownDetroit Tigers GIFGiphy

But there's more to it. On the AsapSCIENCE YouTube channel, they reveal a few reasons for the divide. One is simply the power of suggestion. When the words are written on the screen, the mind might hear whichever word it sees first.

They also illustrate Professor Story's actual sound waves when saying the words "Laurel" and "Yanny," and explain that even though the waves are similar, what you hear might depend on your age. "The sounds of 'Yanny' play at a higher frequency than 'Laurel,' so if you're hearing 'Yanny,' you might have younger ears."

The video goes on to say that a Twitter (now X) user "posted audio of the pitch both brought down and up. When you listen to it brought down 30 percent, you will hear 'Yanny.' But when you listen to it brought up 30 percent, you'll likely hear 'Laurel.'"

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

On a blog post for the hearing aid company Miracle-Ear, they back up the theory. "The real mystery of Yanny vs. Laurel lies with sound frequency. The sound waves that allow us to hear 'Yanny' are at a higher frequency, whereas the sound waves that allow us to hear 'Laurel' are at a lower frequency. As we age, it’s common for us to start losing our ability to hear higher frequency sounds. It wouldn’t be surprising if someone younger hears 'Yanny' while someone older, listening through the same device, hears 'Laurel.'"

It’s all coming around again after the hosts from the Just The Nobodys Podcast revisited it on Instagram. One plays the sounds for the other, who hears "Yanny." He then exclaims, "Okay, since Yanny is a higher frequency, it requires younger and healthier ears to be able to hear it. But for older people, who don't have healthy ears, they're actually hearing Laurel."

The comment section was fired up as many of them argued with the premise.

"I'm 12, and I hear Laurel," said one.

Another claims they don't hear either: "I hear Yammy."

Amazingly, some hear both within two seconds:: "The first time I heard Laurel. The second, I heard Yanny."

And then, of course, there was this comment: "It's blue and black."

I guess we'll never truly know for sure.

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