upworthy

Ally Hirschlag

Family

One couple's perfect response to people asking when they're going to have kids.

Choosing to have kids or not have kids is no one else's decision but yours.

Photo via Carrie Jensen/Imgur, used with permission.

She’s giving birth to a puppy.


"When are you guys going to start having kids?"

Like many couples, Carrie Jansen and her husband Nic had heard this question a million different ways, a million different times.

The pressure really started to mount when the pair, who've been together for eight years, got married three years ago. While Carrie loves kids (she's an elementary school teacher, after all), she and Nic simply aren't interested in having kids of their own. Now or ever.


"It's not what I was meant for," explains Carrie in a Facebook message. "It's like, I love flowers, and everyone loves flowers. But that doesn't mean I want to grow my own. I'm perfectly happy admiring other people's gardens."

Carrie wanted to tell her family that they don't plan on having kids but knew if she did, they'd say something like, "Oh you'll change your mind one day!" and that pesky question would keep rearing its ugly head.

marriage, adults, children, social pressure, pregnancy

Dressed to the nines on their wedding day.

Photo via Carrie Jansen, used with permission.

Rather than continue to deflect the question over and over, Carrie decided to do something a little bit different.

Since the couple was adding another mouth to feed to the family, they decided to announce it with a series of maternity-style photos, revealing the twist: The new addition was a puppy named Leelu, not a baby.

pets, viral, moms, dads, maternity, babies

Look at my newborn baby... puppy.

Photo via Carrie Jensen/Imgur, used with permission.

"My husband and I have been married 3 years and everyone is bugging us about having a baby. Close enough right?" she captioned the photos.

Her pictures went insanely viral, with many of the commenters giving her props for hilariously addressing the dreaded "kids " question.

kids, choices, population, survey

The adorable pup.

Photo via Carrie Jansen, used with permission.

"If you don't want kids, don't have kids. Seriously. Have fun with each other. I had three kids early and it's all about them now," wrote one user. "I wish people would just mind their business raising a kid ain't easy and cheap," wrote another.

"I got my husband a vasectomy for his birthday this year. Best gift ever," chimed in a third.

Carrie was overwhelmed and inspired by the viral response. "Having children is definitely a hot topic, and one that is evolving in this generation like so many other social issues," she says. "It's exciting to find others that feel the same way I do.”

Carrie is hardly alone in not wanting to have kids — in fact, a record number of women are choosing not to have kids today.

In 2014, the U.S. Census Bureau's Current Population Survey found 47.6% of women between age 15 and 44 had never had children, which is the highest percentage on record. Despite the numbers, however, because we still live in a patriarchally-driven society, women regularly face the expectation that they should be mothers, and they often are judged if they decide not to be.

Whether you want to have one kid, five kids, no kids, or a puppy, the choice should be yours and no one else's.

holidays, gifts, woman\u2019s rights, gender equality,

The holiday photo in front of the Christmas tree.

Photo via Carrie Jansen, used with permission.

No one else has the right to put pressure on you to change your body and life in a drastic way. Thankfully, because of women like Carrie — and partners like Nic — who aren't afraid to bring the subject out in the open, the expectations are slowly but surely changing.


This article originally appeared on 12.19.16


Family

We know that adults suffer when they don't get enough sleep. For kids, it's even worse.

Just like adults, children’s ability to get through the day is compromised when they don't get enough sleep, but in order to understand why that happens, we have to look at how the brain works.

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Are kids getting the required amount of daily sleep?

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Westin Thread Forward

Imagine you're in your school math class after staying up late doing homework, and the teacher calls on you to explain something complicated on the board.

Ah, there's that palm sweat everyone who's been through this is painfully familiar with.

As if woken abruptly from a dream — which, let's face it, might've been the case — you look up sheepishly at the teacher, then around at everyone else staring back at you. You squint desperately at the equation on the board, but it might as well be in some language you don't know. Maybe you try to answer it and make no sense or just sink in your seat and say, "I don't know." Either way, aside from feeling like a zombie, you're also probably left feeling pretty embarrassed.

It might sound funny in hindsight, but these effects of sleep deprivation are seen all too often in schools all over the world.

According to the National Sleep Foundation, 31% of kids aged 6 to 11 in America get eight hours of sleep or less on a weeknight. The recommended amount for their demographic is at least 9 hours. And the stats only get more troubling as kids get older. According to a study at San Diego State, 40% of teens actually get seven hours of sleep a night or less, and that percentage has risen dramatically in the last 10 years.

Obviously, regular sleep deprivation can negatively affect the body and mind of an adult, but it can be detrimental to a young person.

stress, studies, children, education, environment

A lack of sleep can cause an inability to regulate mood and emotions.

Photo by Henrikke Due on Unsplash

That goes double for a young person from a low-income household. Just ask Reut Gruber, associate professor of psychiatry at McGill University in Montreal, Canada. Apart from being an expert in the genetics of sleep, she's a member of the World Sleep Society and focuses on how sleep deprivation impacts children's day-to-day lives.

Just like adults, children’s ability to get through the day is compromised when they don't get enough sleep, but in order to understand why that happens, we have to look at how the brain works.

"There are several parts of the brain that are dependent on sleep to finish their business," Gruber explains. "One part of the brain that's key is the prefrontal cortex. It's kind of like the engine, the machine that underlies executive function."

Everything we do throughout our day — planning, ignoring distractions, making decisions, setting goals, etc. — rely on the prefrontal cortex working efficiently. Unfortunately that's also one of the areas of the brain that's most sensitive to sleep deprivation.

When the prefrontal cortex is compromised by a lack of sleep, all the functions it oversees are affected. This includes our ability to regulate mood and emotions.

You know how moody you get when you're running on less sleep? Imagine that feeling as a kid exacerbated by school assignments, teachers, and your classmates pushing your buttons.

Now imagine you return home after a day of feeling sleep deprived to a cramped house where there's no structure and four kids sleeping in one room. Perhaps you live in a neighborhood where every few hours you're awoken by what might be gunshots outside. According to Gruber, these scenarios are all too common.

Can you see a vicious cycle developing?

While research on the relationship between socioeconomic status and sleep deprivation is limited, there have been studies that have found a correlation between children from lower-income households and more disrupted sleep. It makes sense when you consider the scenario above — if life at home is stressed by a lack of money, food, or safety, it's not surprising sleep patterns would be disrupted.

And when sleep deprivation is the norm for kids, they get used to functioning at lower levels, which in turn may affect their academic success and ability to regulate their emotions.

poverty, community, education, sleep deprivation

Stress at home can disrupt sleeping patterns.

Photo via Pixabay.

Gruber says a good way to do this is set a hard stop for kids in terms of evening work/play/social media time. Once their sleep time comes around, encourage them to put it all away, literally and metaphorically. It might be hard at first, but the benefits will pay off tenfold.

"Make a commitment to making a change [to your child's sleep routine]," Gruber says. "Once you do it, you feel so good, you don't want to go back."

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New mom takes photos of her napping baby in costumes to create adorable works of art

What happens when mom is a skilled photographer and baby is a heavy sleeper? Creativity at its cutest.

Image created from Burst

Mom is finding time to still be creative.

When Laura Izumikawa was pregnant with her daughter, Joey, her friends who had kids warned her life as she knew it would change once Joey was born.

In some ways, this was true. After Joey was born, Laura's stress levels rose, and her "me time" diminished significantly.


Parents know this is just par for the course — new motherhood comes with all sorts of worries and responsibilities. Often the only time moms have a moment to decompress is during those precious few hours of nap time.

While many take that time to catch a few more winks themselves, Laura decided to do something a little different.

Outside of her new mom life, Laura is a professional photographer who specializes in taking photos of couples, weddings, families, and kids. Secondarily, she was blessed with a daughter who's an incredibly heavy sleeper.


So she decided to put her photography skills and her daughter's sleeping skills together to create some adorable works of art to commemorate Joey's infancy and ultimately unwind from the stresses of new parenthood.

It started out as just a fun way to update her grandparents on how much Joey is growing. Then her friends asked her to put the photos on Instagram, and the rest as they say, is cute, hilarious history.

1. She's been a tourist on Hawaii.

2. And won a gold medal in her sleep.

So how does Laura do all this without waking her baby? Simple, she does the arm flinch test to make sure Joey's totally out, then, ever so carefully, starts to put props around her.

"The most important thing for me is not to disturb her sleep or make her feel uncomfortable at all," wrote Laura in an email.

She does pop music icons like:

3. The fierce Beyoncé.

4. Sia in her famous eye-hiding wig.

5. Slash from Guns and Roses.

And she does spot-on fictional characters, too.

6. Furiosa from "Mad Max: Fury Road."

7. The lost, but not forgotten Barb from "Stranger Things."

8. Leia from "Star Wars" with her dad.

9. "It's Wayne's World! Wayne's World! Party time! Excellent!"

10. The Princess Bride "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to ... (snores)."

11. "The hills are alive..."

At the end of the day, parenting can be exhausting. If you can find a way to smile or laugh through it, you're doing pretty great.

"I've found joy in slowing down and watching her grow," wrote Laura. "With these photos, playing with Joey, watching her slowly drift to sleep and dressing her up in hilarious outfits showed me that parenting can be fun and enjoyable."

It's all about finding a special way to bond, whether or not that includes props and wardrobe changes.

This article originally appeared on 09.14.16


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It's so much more than fun.

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Nike's Made to Play

If you've ever watched kids on a playground running around and laughing, you might think they’re just having a great time.

It's hard to imagine that something so fun could help them succeed at the more serious life stuff. But that is, in fact, exactly what playtime is doing.

Research has actually proven time and time again that regular play is integral to kids' success in school, social situations, and, eventually, the careers that they choose to pursue.


So the next time you see kids giggling while they hang on jungle gyms or dig around in a sandbox, you might not want to just write it off as silliness — they're actually learning the fundamentals of adult behavior.

Here are 21 reasons you should encourage the kids in your life to play more all year long.

1. Kids aren't made to sit still. They're made to play.

Human kids are born with a natural desire to play, and it helps them learn important skills. That said, today's kids are way less active than their parents and generations were before them. However, if you give the kids in your life the opportunity to play, you're doing your part to help reverse this unhealthy trend.

2. Playing helps kids stay active, and active kids do better in school.

Active kids tend to have increased concentration, go to school more regularly, and are usually better behaved once they get there. In fact, studies suggest that they’re noticeably more attentive and less distracted right after an active play session.

So in a way, encouraging play is just as useful as paying extra for a tutor, if not more so.

3. They’re also more well-adjusted overall.

Kids who play regularly tend to have healthier eating habits and more confidence than inactive kids because they’re running on endorphins that boost mood and improve behavior.

Imagine, just by letting them go hog wild outside once a day, you might have the most well-adjusted kids on the block!

team, collaboration, education, investing in health

A group of children pulling a rope in a game of tug-o-war.

Photo by Anna Samoylova on Unsplash

4. And play can give them a major mood boost.

Research suggests that being more physically active can improve a kid’s self-esteem, mood, and social interactions all at once. If your kid mopes around the house, complaining that they have nothing to do, why not seize the opportunity and send them outside?

5. Play encourages healthy brain development, especially in younger kids.

You know how little kids seem to create fantastical worlds every time they play? All that creative thinking is helping them expand their imaginations in a super productive way. It's like cognitive strength training — not only are they building up their dexterity and physical strength, but by interacting with other kids in this way, they're also establishing emotional strength.

6. And that emotional strength pays off down the line.

Did you know that emotionally intelligent people tend to be more successful? According to analysis by Egon Zehnder International, it’s one of the most common attributes of thriving senior executives. This is where that starts.

7. Meanwhile, not playing could actually shorten kids’ lives.

According to the World Health Organization, physical inactivity is the fourth-leading risk factor for death worldwide. However, so far, that stat doesn't seem to be scaring people enough to get kids moving. Hopefully this list will encourage some parents to start changing that!

8. The sitting epidemic is very real, especially in our country.

In America alone, physical activity in kids between the ages of 9 and 15 has dropped by 75%. What better reason is there to make use of the longest day of the year?

sitting, physical activity, play, habits, risks

Kids have replaced physical activity with sedentary playing.

Photo from Pixabay

9. But American kids aren’t the only ones who are affected by inactivity.

According to the World Health Organization, 80% of 11- to 17-year-olds around the world fail to meet the minimum requirements of physical activity: 60 minutes a day. If the trend continues, your kids could live five years less than you.

10. And kids get a little less active every year.

Children are the most active at age 6, and then they tend to start slowing down. By the time they're 19, many kids are as sedentary as 60-year-olds, according to The Washington Post.

While this sounds scary, a little extra playtime now can reverse this trend.

11. That said, kids who start out active tend to stay active.

It’s pretty simple — starting such a habit at a young age is proven to help kids carry that habit with them into adulthood. And if they're active adults, odds are they'll encourage their kids to be active too — and just like that, you've started an extremely healthy chain reaction.

12. Child-driven play is also where kids learn skills they'll need as adults.

One of the biggest questions asked in job interviews is if you work well with others. That's not a skill you acquire in high school or college — it starts much earlier, on the playground. When left to their own devices, children develop the confidence they need to take control and make decisions. They also learn how to share, negotiate, and resolve conflicts in a diplomatic way.

13. Boys are twice as active as girls.

In fact, by the age of 14, girls drop out of team sports twice as often. Reasons for this include everything from a lack of athletic opportunities to social stigmas against sporty girls.

That’s why it’s so important to get girls moving early — so they’ll be more inclined to stay in the game down the road.

girls, depression, success, motivation

A young girl swings on the monkey bars.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

14. But when girls do stay active, it makes a huge difference.

Those who keep playing usually get giant doses of confidence and coping and decision-making skills. Simultaneously, risks of depression, stress, and other dangerous behaviors like eating disorders tend to drop off.

15. Plus, active girls tend to become successful women.

A 2015 study of 400 female C-suite executives found that over half of them played sports at a university level. What's more, Fortune found that over 80% of female Fortune500 executives played a competitive sport at some time in their lives.

Can you see these powerhouses as little tikes on the blacktop during recess? They must've given every boy a run for their money.

16. That’s why it’s so important for them to have motivators they can look up to.

Research suggests that when girls have positive female role models in their lives, it sets them up for a better future. Unfortunately, in 2017 only 28% of youth coaches were female. If more women can be that role model for their kids, nieces, or kids in their neighborhood, they’ll be making a major impact on them.

17. Regardless of gender, though, when it comes to test scores, active kids set the curve.

When regular play is part of a child's life, it can help them stay attentive and put focused energy into their studies. And there are stats to prove it. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), students who are regularly active tend to have higher grade point averages and lower high school dropout rates. In fact, active kids have been shown to score up to 40% higher on tests than inactive kids.

18. Regular activity also gives your kid a better chance at a more successful career.

No matter what career path your 8-year-old chooses in the future, playing everyday now could give them the boost they need to land the job of their dreams. In fact, studies suggest physically active kids are 15% more likely to go to college and earn an average of 7-8% more money than an inactive kid.

bonding, healthy parenting, play, learning

A father at play with his daughter.

Photo by lauren lulu taylor on Unsplash

19. What’s more, play is a great way for parents and kids to bond.

Kids learn games from their parents, and vice versa, which always makes for an incredibly adorable good time.

And, since school recess has been cut back, encouraging play is largely up to parents these days. Over the past two decades, schools across the country have cut down recess significantly — in some cases, entirely.

The more parents can motivate their kids to get moving outside of school, the more they'll counteract this unfortunate rollback.

20. But if parents get in the way of kid play too much, it can offset its benefits.

If you dictate how they should play, you might actually hinder all the positive effects playtime can have. Giving up that control might be hard, but it can also be a game changer in kids' development.

21. Play is so important that it is recognized by the United Nations as a fundamental human right.

Because the name suggests it's not productive time spent, it's easy to let playtime become a privilege or reward. But regular active play could be the difference between a happy, healthy, successful adult and one who struggles to get through the day.

If a prestigious, international organization like the U.N. understands that and puts its importance on par with food and shelter, it's time for parents and schools everywhere to pick up the play baton and run with it — and encourage their kids to do the same every day.

This article originally appeared on 06.21.18