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Best brain supplements for adults: Top 5 brain supplements for memory and focus

Boost your memory and focus with these expert picks.

Best brain supplements for adults: Top 5 brain supplements for memory and focus

It can be difficult to push through a workday or social engagement when you're struggling with brain fog, poor concentration, or a sour mood. Fortunately, supplements designed to support brain health may be able to help.

Formulated with neuro-boosting ingredients like vitamin D, vitamin B12, folic acid, and ginkgo biloba, these products, along with healthy human nutrition and regular exercise, can protect against cognitive decline and memory loss, helping you stay sharp and focused.

Incorporating these supplements into your nutritional regimen can have lasting benefits contributing to your overall health and vitality. However, choosing the right one from such a large pool of options can take time and effort. To help you find the best one for your needs, we’ve curated a list of five of the highest-rated options available online. Keep scrolling to check out our top picks and what makes them stand out.

Summary of the Best Brain Supplements

  1. Best Overall: BIOptimizers Cognibiotics
  2. Best Omega-3 Supplement: Utzy Naturals Omega-3 Fish Oil
  3. Best Coffee Alternative: Beam Super Latte
  4. Best Bioavailability: ProHealth Brain-Mag Pro
  5. Best Value: Organixx Brain Health 8

Are Dietary Supplements Safe?

Dietary supplements aren’t a substitute for a well-balanced diet, but they can provide a convenient way to increase your nutrient intake and boost your general health. They’re relatively safe if you use them responsibly, and follow the tips below.

  • Only use products that have been third-party lab-tested and are manufactured by reputable brands.
  • Avoid ingredients that conflict with any dietary allergies or restrictions you may have.
  • Check with your doctor to ensure your chosen supplement is safe for you and won’t interact poorly with other medications you’re taking.
  • Always take dietary supplements as instructed, and never exceed the recommended dosage.

Best Brain Supplements for Adults Reviewed

1. Best Overall: BIOptimizers Cognibiotics

Why we love it:

Wipe away brain fog and improve your brain health with BIOptimizers Cognibiotics. This supplement contains a powerful blend of probiotics and prebiotics to support a healthy brain and gut microbiome. It’s crafted in small batches with medical-grade ingredients, so you can rest assured of its quality.

This product is a great choice for stressed adults. It supports a balanced stress response, minimizing the negative impact of stress on your body and health. It’s suitable for a wide range of ages, from children to older adults. (The manufacturer recommends a dose of 1 capsule per 40 pounds of body weight.) Speaking of doses, these convenient capsules contain pre-calculated doses of each ingredient, eliminating the need for measuring and making them easy to take, whether you’re at home or on the go.

Pros:

  • Vegan, gluten-free, and soy-free
  • USA-made in a GMP-certified facility
  • May improve blood circulation to the brain

Cons:

  • Only one size available

Specs:

  • Size: 60 capsules per bottle
  • Key ingredient(s): Probiotic blend, prebiotic complex, Chinese herbal blend

Learn more about BIOptimizers Cognibiotics today!


2. Best Omega-3 Supplement: Utzy Naturals Omega-3 Fish Oil


Why we love it:

Offering a trifecta of wellness benefits, Utzy Naturals Omega-3 Fish Oil supports brain health, joint mobility, and heart health. Unlike many other fish oil supplements, this product has a pleasant-tasting, citrusy lemon flavor and is easy to swallow. It’s made from fatty fish oil, sustainably sourced along the Chilean coast.

The incorporation of the triglyceride form of omega-3 makes the supplement easy to digest and highly bioavailable for optimal results. Made in the USA, this product is purified and distilled before it’s sent to third-party labs for rigorous testing to confirm its quality and safety. The brand offers a 90-day satisfaction guarantee so you can purchase with confidence.

Pros:

  • High bioavailability for maximum efficacy
  • Pleasant-tasting lemon flavor
  • Third-party tested for purity

Cons:

  • May interact poorly with some anticoagulants

Specs:

  • Size: 60 or 120 softgels per bottle
  • Key ingredient(s): Eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA), docosahexaenoic acid (DHA), and additional omega-3s

Learn more about Utzy Naturals Omega-3 Fish Oil today!


3. Best Coffee Alternative: Beam Super Latte


Why we love it:

If you love to start the day with a warm cup of coffee but don't like the afternoon caffeine crash, we suggest trying Beam Super Latte. This tasty beverage mix contains only 35 milligrams of caffeine per serving. It leverages the productivity-boosting benefits of adaptogens, nootropics, and functional mushrooms to provide a sustained energy boost without the jittery feelings and crashes often accompanying coffee. Mix one or two scoops into a cup of hot water, or enjoy it iced.

Its creamy, smooth consistency, familiar flavor, and chocolatey taste notes add to the appeal of this beverage. Lion’s mane and creatine support memory and cognitive function, while turkey tail and cordyceps improve stamina and keep stress and fatigue at bay. The formula is paleo-, keto-, and vegan-friendly, making it suitable for various lifestyles and dietary preferences.

Pros:

  • May boost focus and energy
  • No added sugars
  • Can be enjoyed hot or iced

Cons:

  • Bag can be difficult to reseal

Specs:

  • Size: 400 g per bag/ 30 servings
  • Key ingredient(s): Cordyceps mushroom, lion’s mane mushroom, turkey tail mushroom, theobromine, creatine, king trumpet mushroom, huperzine-A, phosphatidylserine, and caffeine

Learn more about Beam Super Latte today!


4. Best Bioavailability: ProHealth Brain-Mag Pro


What we love:

Sometimes, simple is best, and that's exactly what you get with ProHealth Brain-Mag Pro. These capsules contain pure magnesium L-threonate in the form of Magtein®—a highly bioavailable type of magnesium that penetrates the blood-brain barrier and can improve cognitive function, mood, and memory. By regulating sleep patterns, this formula can help ensure you get enough sleep, which can have countless health benefits.

Not only does this product feature a research-backed formula, but it’s also free from common allergens—including soy, wheat, tree nuts, peanuts, gluten, shellfish, eggs, and dairy—and it’s vegan-friendly, non-GMO, and kosher, making it accessible to customers across various lifestyles and dietary needs.

Pros:

  • Certificate of analysis available on website
  • No preservatives or chemicals
  • Produced in an FDA-registered, GMP-certified facility
  • Third-party tested with viewable lab results

Cons:

  • Only comes in one size

Specs:

  • Size: 90 capsules per bottle
  • Key ingredient(s): Magnesium

Learn more about ProHealth Brain-Mag Pro today!


5. Best Value: Organixx Brain Health 8

What we love:

Formulated to provide long-term neurological support, Organixx Brain Health 8 contains a blend of eight high-quality nutrients. All ingredients are responsibly sourced from an Amazonian rainforest, and the formula doesn’t contain synthetic flavors, dyes, fillers, additives, or preservatives. Plus, the product is third-party tested to confirm the absence of glyphosate, GMOs, heavy metals, insecticides, herbicides, and pesticides for your peace of mind.

In addition to preventing unhealthy inflammation levels and promoting the growth of new brain cells, this formula supports brain health by protecting against free radicals, supporting neuron health, and enhancing circulation to help maintain healthy oxygen levels. It’s free from many common allergens, including soy, gluten, and yeast, and is suitable for plant-based or paleo diets.

Pros:

  • Non-GMO ingredients; sugar and sodium-free
  • May improve mental clarity and focus
  • Third-party lab tested
  • Backed by a one-year satisfaction guarantee

Cons:

  • Only comes in one size

Specs:

  • Size: 60 capsules per bottle
  • Key ingredient(s): Organic cat's claw powder, organic pau d'Arco, organic camu camu powder, organic cacao powder, organic bacopa monnieri powder, dragon’s blood resin extract, organic cinnamon, and organic guayusa extract

Learn more about Organixx Brain Health 8 today!


How To Find The Best Brain Supplements for You

Finding the right neurological support supplement can be challenging. Keep these factors in mind while shopping to ensure you make the best choice for your health goals and needs.

Key Ingredients

Make sure the key ingredients in your supplement are backed by scientific evidence indicating their potential to promote brain health and improve cognitive function. Some common ingredients in these products include omega-3s, B vitamins, magnesium, ashwagandha root extract, and ginkgo biloba—a staple of traditional Chinese medicine with many possible uses.

Supplement Form

These products typically come in capsule, powder, and liquid forms. Choose a form that works well with your schedule and lifestyle. Capsules are useful if you want something convenient you can take quickly before work or bed. Powders and liquids are preferable if you want versatility and precise dose control or if you don’t like trying to swallow parge pills – some supplements are uncomfortable to swallow in capsule form.

Intended Benefits

Whether you’re looking to improve cognition, reduce inflammation, enhance sleep quality, or boost your psychological well-being, choose a formula that offers the benefits you hope to achieve.

Ingredients That Are Good for Brain Health

The active ingredients in many brain supplements are vitamins and minerals—like vitamin D and vitamin B12—that can be found in foods such as leafy, green vegetables and fish. However, many people don’t get enough of these nutrients from diet alone, making supplementation beneficial.

These are some of the most common ingredients you’re likely to find in brain health supplements.

Omega-3 fatty acids

Omega-3 fatty acids—like docosahexaenoic acid (DHA)—are healthy fats that promote cardiovascular and neurological health. Omega-3s may improve learning, memory, cognitive well-being, and blood flow to the brain. Whether consumed in supplement form or through fatty fish, like salmon, omega-3 is usually well tolerated.

The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recommends a combined daily total intake of no more than 3 grams of omega-3s from dietary and supplemental sources. However, the National Institutes of Health recommends a daily intake of between 1.1 and 1.6 grams for adults.

B vitamins

B vitamins are essential for stress management and mood stabilization. A lack of B vitamins—especially vitamin B12—can result in an increased risk of mental health conditions like depression and anxiety. The most common B vitamins found in brain supplements are:

  • Vitamin B1 (thiamin) helps regulate the central nervous system, promoting calmness and improving mood.
  • Vitamin B2 (riboflavin) supports the development of blood cells, skin, digestive tract lining, and the nervous system.
  • Vitamin B9 (folic acid) is found in leafy, green vegetables and helps the body form red blood cells, regulate levels of homocysteine (an amino acid) in the blood, and produce RNA and DNA.
  • Vitamin B12 helps the body create red blood cells and regulates the nervous system. The National Institutes of Health recommends consuming 2.4 micrograms of vitamin B12 daily for adults.

Other Ingredients

  • Vegetable oils: Research suggests a connection between a higher intake of vegetable oil (olive oil, specifically) and a lower risk of death resulting from dementia—an umbrella term for a group of neurodegenerative diseases, including Alzheimer’s disease and mild cognitive impairment (MCI), resulting from damage to the brain cells.
  • Magnesium: Other research indicates magnesium has anti-inflammatory properties associated with a lower risk of cognitive decline and memory loss.
  • Vitamin E: Numerous studies and clinical trials have shown that vitamin E may help delay cognitive performance decline resulting from aging or Alzheimer’s disease.
  • Vitamin D: Vitamin D has neuroprotective properties and plays many important roles in the body, making it essential for brain health and overall health. Vitamin D deficiency is linked to neurodegenerative conditions like dementia.
  • Whole grains: More research is needed, however, early studies indicate whole grains may delay cognitive impairment and memory loss in older adults of African American descent.
  • Ashwagandha: In some clinical trials, ashwagandha demonstrated the ability to increase attention span and support better memory in healthy people.

Potential Benefits of Taking a Brain Supplement

Brain health supplements can yield many neurological benefits and support overall health. Here are some of the many possible benefits of using these products.

  • Boosted cognitive function and memory: Products containing omega-3s and magnesium can support cognitive function and reduce the risk of memory loss.
  • Reduced brain fog: Along with improving cognitive function, these products can help with brain fog and mental clarity, keeping you clear headed and enhancing your mental performance.
  • Improved mood: Products containing B vitamins like vitamin B12 work to regulate the nervous system, which can reduce stress and boost your mood.
  • Better sleep and more energy: These products can help regulate your sleep cycle. The combination of more restful sleep and vitality-supporting ingredients can boost productivity and energy levels.

Potential Side Effects of Taking Brain Health Supplements

As with any dietary supplement, there are potential side effects to be aware of, including:

  • Headaches
  • Nausea
  • Anxiety

Side effects are usually mild and temporary and typically go away when the supplement wears off. Discontinue use and talk to your doctor if you experience severe or persistent side effects.

It's also important to note that some supplements interact poorly with prescription medications, so always talk to your doctor before taking these products to ensure they’re safe for you.

FAQ

How many brain health supplements should I take?

It’s usually best to talk to your doctor about which supplements to take and how many. Some supplements may have negative interactions when taken together. This depends on the specific supplement. Always follow the manufacturer’s dosing instructions, and don't exceed the recommended amount.

Can I take brain health supplements with other dietary supplements or medications?

Certain supplements can interact with medications and other supplements, causing adverse side effects. If you have medical conditions or are taking any medications or other supplements, be sure to check with your doctor before starting a new supplement.

Can I take brain health supplements in place of other medications?

While these supplements can support healthy brain function and boost brain health, they’re not meant to treat specific diseases. Don’t stop taking prescribed medications unless your doctor tells you otherwise.

Conclusion

In combination with a healthy diet and exercise routine, brain health supplements can boost mood, reduce brain fog, and improve overall brain function. Not all brain health supplements are created equal, so it’s essential to be selective when shopping. Look for products that have been third-party tested, are made with high-quality ingredients, and won’t conflict with any medications you’re taking. The options on our list are the best the online market has to offer, and we hope you’ll find the perfect one for your needs among our selections.

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Happiness researcher explains how making a 'reverse bucket list' can change your life

Counterintuitive in our culture, but effective.

arthur c. brooks, harvard, psychology, happiness research, bucket list
Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons

Harvard researcher Arthur C. Brooks studies what leads to human happiness.

We live in a society that prizes ambition, celebrating goal-setting, and hustle culture as praiseworthy vehicles on the road to success. We also live in a society that associates successfully getting whatever our hearts desire with happiness. The formula we internalize from an early age is that desire + ambition + goal-setting + doing what it takes = a successful, happy life.

But as Harvard University happiness researcher Arthur C. Brooks has found, in his studies as well as his own experience, that happiness doesn't follow that formula. "It took me too long to figure this one out," Brooks told podcast host Tim Ferris, explaining why he uses a "reverse bucket list" to live a happier life.

bucket list, wants, desires, goals, detachment Many people make bucket lists of things they want in life. Giphy

Brooks shared that on his birthday, he would always make a list of his desires, ambitions, and things he wanted to accomplish—a bucket list. But when he was 50, he found his bucket list from when he was 40 and had an epiphany: "I looked at that list from when I was 40, and I'd checked everything off that list. And I was less happy at 50 than I was at 40."

As a social scientist, he recognized that he was doing something wrong and analyzed it.

"This is a neurophysiological problem and a psychological problem all rolled into one handy package," he said. "I was making the mistake of thinking that my satisfaction would come from having more. And the truth of the matter is that lasting and stable satisfaction, which doesn't wear off in a minute, comes when you understand that your satisfaction is your haves divided by your wants…You can increase your satisfaction temporarily and inefficiently by having more, or permanently and securely by wanting less."

Brooks concluded that he needed a "reverse bucket list" that would help him "consciously detach" from his worldly wants and desires by simply writing them down and crossing them off.

"I know that these things are going to occur to me as natural goals," Brooks said, citing human evolutionary psychology. "But I do not want to be owned by them. I want to manage them." He discussed moving those desires from the instinctual limbic system to the conscious pre-frontal cortex by examining each one and saying, "Maybe I get it, maybe I don't," but crossing them off as attachments. "And I'm free…it works," he said.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When I write them down, I acknowledge that I have the desire," he explained on X. "When I cross them out, I acknowledge that I will not be attached to this goal."

The idea that attachment itself causes unhappiness is a concept found in many spiritual traditions, but it is most closely associated with Buddhism. Mike Brooks, PhD, explains that humans need healthy attachments, such as an attachment to staying alive and attachments to loved ones, to avoid suffering. But many things to which we are attached are not necessarily healthy, either by degree (over-attachment) or by nature (being attached to things that are impermanent).

"We should strive for flexibility in our attachments because the objects of our attachment are inherently in flux," Brooks writes in Psychology Today. "In this way, we suffer unnecessarily when we don't accept their impermanent nature."

What Arthur C. Brooks suggests that we strive to detach ourselves from our wants and desires because the simplest way to solve the 'haves/wants = happiness' formula is to reduce the denominator. The reverse bucket list, in which you cross off desires before you fulfill them, can help free you from attachment and lead to a happier overall existence.

This article originally appeared last year.

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A 'social experiment' lets people from Texas and San Francisco randomly connect on a payphone

"People don't want to be seen as stereotypes. People look to connect on human stuff."

Matter Neuroscience, payphone experiment, Texas, California, Abilene, San Francisco, humanity
Photo Credit: Canva, Matter Neuroscience, Instagram

Two payphones set up in Abilene, Texas and San Francisco, California let complete strangers chat.

Imagine you're walking by a payphone in Abilene, Texas, when it unexpectedly rings. You pick up, only to hear that a total stranger over 1500 miles away in San Francisco is on the other end of the line. Do you argue, as so many social media algorithms would have people do? Or do you dig into your primal human instinct, the one that makes evolution possible, and find yourself connecting?

The biotech company Matter Neuroscience had this thought. What if they chose one of the most conservative and most liberal cities in the U.S. and installed free payphone-looking devices in each one? The idea is to bridge the gap between the great divide many are currently experiencing. Whether due to politics, religion, or different lifestyles, many are seemingly forgetting that we're all just human beings searching for contentment.

On their Instagram page, Matter Neuroscience (@Matterneuroscience) explains that it's about people connecting from all walks of life. "The goal of this project is to create space for friendly, human-to-human conversations. We believe that a few different opinions (even on important political topics) should not block us from having a truly positive, maybe even fun conversation with other humans."

How it works

As explained on the initial Instagram Reel, "When one phone is picked up, it automatically calls the other." In a video, we see one of the Matter Neuroscience teammates, Logan Ivey, setting up an old payphone that was bought on Facebook Marketplace for $300.00. Ivey jimmies it open to put a modem inside, with a Verizon SIM card inserted. In essence, it's a cell phone inside of a payphone.

On the side, the words "The Party Line" are painted to entice people walking by to give it a shot. At the top of the "payphone" in San Francisco, they've written "Call a Republican." (In Texas, it says "Call a Democrat.") There's an extra plaque at the top that says, "This payphone is a social experiment. Right now you're in San Francisco, the most liberal city in America. When you pick up this phone, it will automatically connect you to another payphone in Abilene, Texas, the most conservative city in America."

They continue their mission statement, writing, "The goal for this project is to have people from different places have meaningful conversations. Because hostile political discourse increases our brain's cortisol levels and suppresses our happiness. But positive conversations do the opposite. We are recording the conversations so that we can highlight positive ones on our social media account, though any personal names shared will be bleeped out, as we treasure your anonymity. Have fun and enjoy!"

The results

People are already taking the "have fun" part to heart. In one conversation, the phone rings in Texas and a young woman answers. After some giggly pleasantries, they each establish the cities they're in and the current weather. The adorably pure laughter continues as they realize what a cool thing they're taking part in. The Texan shares, "I've been to San Francisco before. You have those cool little streets and stuff."

The Californian is, unfortunately, late for a meeting, but noted, "I was like I had to pick up." The Texan is glad she did, gushing, "Oh my goodness. We picked up at the same time. I'll probably never see you again. But Jesus loves you and I hope you have a good life."

The Californian agrees. "Oh yeah, you too. Sending you all the best. All the blessings."

Another conversation has a Texas woman and a California guy connecting nearly immediately. He admits, "I was running down the street and I heard the phone ring. Wait a second, I know that phone!"

They laugh and once again pleasantly discuss the weather. He then asks, "What else do you want to talk about?"

She answers honestly, saying, "I don't know! We just wanted to call and make some friends." He replies, "Oh fantastic! Well, I'm going to meet a bunch of friends out. We're a group called Moto Chug. It's not really a group, but it's the group text name. And we're all friends who ride motorcycles together." He tells her a bit about their group, to which she replies in earnest, "You are so cool. I hope that you know that. And I hope that you go and tell your friends that this random college kid from Abilene, Texas thinks that you guys are so cool."

He sweetly responds, "Awww, awesome! Right on! Well, it's great to talk to Texas, man. Hang in there. I've got good family in Texas and they're all great people. Hella love going from San Francisco to Abilene, Texas right now."

They then exchange names before he tells her, "We need to make more connections to make this a better place."

The comment section is delighted. One writes, "I'm grinning from ear to ear — just pure joy on what's going on here! Can't wait for the next call."

Another adds, in part, "The type of discourse we really need in this country."

Matter Neuroscience and their mission

Matter Neuroscience has been searching for the definitive formula for happiness since they were founded in 2019. Alongside the Happiness Research Institute, Maastricht University, and the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, they (according to their website) sought "to find a universal biomarker for happiness to guide all of us to long, happier, healthier lives." But what they've found is that the answer is far more complex than some doctors or even philosophers might suggest.

Upworthy had the chance to chat with Ben Goldhirsh, who co-founded Matter Neuroscience, alongside neuroscientist Axel Bouchon. (Small world! Goldhirsh incidentally was also one of the co-founders of GOOD Worldwide, the umbrella company of Upworthy.) He explained that in all of his research, he has found that if people only understood how the brain worked, it could make a real difference. "It's interesting how culture sort of focuses you on certain areas. The reality is that your biology requires this rainbow of activity."

He also notes that everyone should benefit from happiness research, not just depression and anxiety patients. Their team decided, "We should create something that is useful to everyone. So, we basically opened up the 'Emotional Fitness Club' (an app.) Everyone should understand the science of happiness. We all have this incredible organ, and we're trying every day to teach people about this stuff."

The payphone experiment wanted to test how people, when stripped to just two voices across the country, would react to one another. "One of the topics that a lot of people in our community were talking about is how stressful things feel right now. And so cortisol is this fascinating and super valuable chemical in the brain that is popped out when we experience conflict or a fight-or-flight response."

The question posed was: "Are we in a state of fight or flight actually? Or are we actually just misconstruing things and feeling like we're in conflict? If we put a phone booth in the most liberal city and the most conservative city based on voting blocks, will people choose conflict? Because in a way, that's what the media would make you think people would choose. Or will people choose to connect and find common ground, which releases all these positive emotions, or chemicals, in the brain? Will they choose cortisol and conflict? Or will people choose cannabinoids and finding common ground?"

Turns out, at least so far, that 100 percent of the people in these conversations have chosen common ground. "I get to listen to all of this. It's this amazing break from the funny mirror that we're constantly looking in."

Additionally, Goldhirsh shares that people are just looking to connect. "People don't want to be seen as stereotypes. People look to connect on human stuff. Like 'Oh, I'm on a date.' Or 'Gosh, this sandwich is so expensive.' Humans are awesome, and if given the chance to connect, it brings out our humanity. And it's really nice to see how we biologically evolved to connect with each other directly. And when we have those opportunities, it turns out the best parts of us."

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How embracing the 'Empty Boat Theory' can help you keep anger and anxiety in check

The classic Taoist parable has found new life on TikTok, but its core message stays the same.

empty boat theory, taoism, buddhism, psychology, mindset, anger, anxiety, self help, mindfulness
Photo credit: Canva

Ancient wisdom for the modern day.

We all have moments where it feels like the world is against us. When we assume people are thinking negatively about us, we act accordingly by becoming angry or anxious. Once that mindset latches on, it can be tough to let go.

But one simple Taoist parable-turned-viral-TikTok-hack offers a gentle yet powerful reminder that we are not the main character in everyone’s story.

What is the “Empty Boat Theory”?

@sean.of.the.living The “empty boat” theory has me brain spinning lately. This is a brain hack to staying in a happier mindset. #advice #emptyboat #lifehack ♬ original sound - sean.of.the.living

Think of it as a thought experiment. Imagine yourself on a boat in the middle of a lake, as another boat drifts towards you, threatening to knock right into you. The closer this incoming vessel gets, the angrier you become.

Then, at the last second, you steer your boat out from the path of collision, only to notice that the other boat is empty. What this really puts into perspective, as TikToker @sean.of.the.living put it, is “There was never anybody to be angry with in the first place.”

“That’s life, isn’t it?” he said. “We assume everything’s about us. ‘They’re just doing that to screw me, to piss me off.’”

“Most of the time, nobody’s thinking about you.”

The Empty Boat Parable

@aliabdaal The Empty Boat: A Lesson in Letting Go A man gets furious when another boat crashes into him, shouting and ready to fight. But when the fog clears, he sees the boat is empty. No one was steering, no harm was intended. His anger disappears. Most frustrations in life are just empty boats. People are dealing with their own struggles, not trying to hurt you. Next time you feel anger rising, ask yourself – am I just reacting to an empty boat?
♬ original sound - Ali Abdaal

However, long before it was a viral brain hack on TikTok, this story taught how much self-inflicted suffering comes simply from the stories we tell ourselves about other people's attitudes towards us.

As the parable goes, a young monk (or simply a young man, depending on which version you read) hops onto a boat in hopes of finding a quiet spot to meditate. Suddenly, he is bumped by another boat. Furious, the monk opens his eyes and lashes out at the person responsible for disrupting his flow. There is, however, no one to blame. The boat is empty. Knowing there's now no one to be mad at, truly, the man's anger instantly dissipates.

The core message is that sometimes a bump is just a bump. We need not assume malicious intent, and would be better equipped to handle life’s collision with grace if we didn’t.

The Spotlight Effect

@drjulie What are your thoughts on this? Let’s chat in the comments! #learnontiktok #socialanxiety #confidence #anxiety #mentalhealth #anxietey ♬ Emotional Piano Instrumental In E Minor - Tom Bailey Backing Tracks

Bringing it into therapy-speak, the Empty Boat Theory/Parable also relates to the spotlight effect, which is the tendency to wrongly believe that others are mentally scrutinizing us when, in fact, they are likely not thinking about us at all.

This bias is a symptom of egocentrism. You don’t have to be a full-blown narcissist to be egocentric. We all, from time to time, consider ourselves to be the center of the universe in some way. It’s part of being an individual! But without mindfulness, we can let our egos overestimate how many eyes are actually on us at any given time, which only leads to a lot of unnecessary anxiety.

Whether you wanna call it a brain hack, ancient wisdom, or a psychological principle, we could all benefit from reminding ourselves to really pick our battles. Easier said than done in today’s world, but vital nonetheless. Here's to hoping that being aware of all the empty boats out there will lead to smoother sailing for everyone.

And if you're wondering just who’s to blame for letting that rogue boat out to wreak havoc on the water…? Well, that’s a different conversation.

This article originally appeared last year.

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People rally behind an older woman who refused to train her 25-year-old replacement

"They expected me to teach her the job they said I wasn't good enough for."

ageism, workplace ageism, workplace violations, hr, negotiating severance package, exit strategy, hiring, jobs
Photo credit: Canva

An older employee refused two train her replacement who was "fresh out of grad school."

When an older employee was asked to train a 25-year-old to do the same job she'd been doing for as long as the young recruit had been alive, she had some choice words. And it became a vital lesson in not getting exploited.

The TikTok creator, who goes by The Unobsolete (@theunobsolete) centers her content around helping people “fight age bias” in the workplace. She explained how she had been “passed over” for a promotion that she had rightfully earned over the past two-and-a-half decades and was instead expected to train someone “fresh out of grad school” who presumably would then do the job for a fraction of the price.

“They expected me to teach her the job they said I wasn’t good enough for.”

The Unobsolete didn’t entertain pleasantries as she flat-out said “no.”

@theunobsolete watched 25-year-old get my promotion then ask me to train her. I said no. Not sorry. Not maybe. Just no. She shocked. Manager furious. HR email about team player. Don’t care. They passed me over for promotion I earned. Gave it to someone with zero experience. Expected me to teach her job they said I wasn’t good enough for. Train my replacement? Pay me. Want 25 years knowledge? Triple salary consulting rates. Want me to smile while you humiliate me? Wrong person. Not your free training program. Not making cheap hire look competent. Not handing over everything so you can pay her half. They said unprofessional. I said appropriately compensated or not sharing. They said not supporting team. I said team didn’t support me. Silence. Second you stop being useful they stop caring. Stop pretending you owe them anything.#promotions #over50 #notateamplayer #genx #isaidno ♬ original sound - The Unobsolete

"I'm not your free training program," she explained. "Want me to smile while you humiliate me? Wrong person." Furthermore, she noted that if she were going to move forward with the training, she would be expecting “triple salary consulting rates” as payment.

While she got reprimanded by HR for not “being a team player,” she maintained her stance that she deserved to be “fairly compensated for her expertise” or she wasn’t sharing it.

"They said [I was] not supporting [the] team. I said [the] team didn’t support me."

She then concluded the video with a word of caution to other folks who might find themselves in similar situations:

"The second you stop being useful, they stop pretending to care. So stop pretending you owe them anything."

With over four million views, the video certainly resonated. People flooded the comments agreeing how real ageism is in the workplace, and commended The Unobsolete for standing her ground.

"Can't be a team player for a team that played you," one person said.

Quite a few shared their own horror stories. One person recalled, "They hired 6 people to replace me and the work I was doing & wanted me to train them. Nope."

Another said, “I was laid off from a job and they said they’d be fine, because I wrote a literal manual on how to do everything for when I was on vacation. First thing I threw in the trash cleaning out my office. They emailed a few days later, asking where it was. I told them.”

In subsequent videos, The Unobsolete shared that while she didn’t get fired outright (for obvious legal reasons), the company had less direct ways of phasing her out. First, a meeting was held to discuss her "attitude.” Then, she was excluded from company functions and given less work. Eventually, she was called into another meeting and told the company's culture might not be a "good fit" for her.

@theunobsolete UPDATE: Refused to train replacement. What happened next I expected. Two days later meeting with manager and HR. My attitude. Not that they passed me over or wanted free labor. My attitude refusing exploitation. They said not collaborative poor leadership need team players. I said you passed me over want free training punish boundaries that’s control not collaboration. Silence. Not willing develop staff maybe not culture fit. I said right. Culture exploiting experience isn’t my fit. Ready for compensation talk? No? Back to my job. Didn’t fire me. Can’t. Lawsuit risk. Instead stopped including meetings gave projects away documented everything performance issues. Managed out playbook. I documented everything back. Every email meeting project. Knew exactly what they were doing. #promotions #isaidno #refused# #over45 #corporatetiktok ♬ original sound - The Unobsolete


"I agree," The Unobsolete apparently said in the meeting. "A culture that exploits experience isn't a fit for me."

Still, she didn’t back down and asked what the severance package she would receive for leaving. Unsurprisingly, that offer started off low with two weeks' worth of pay. The Unobsolete told them she expected six months of pay with full benefits through the end of the year, plus a neutral reference letter, and a release stating that they wouldn’t contest her unemployment.

When the manager said her demands were “unreasonable,” The Unobsolete replied, “So is asking me to train my replacement for free.”

@theunobsolete UPDATE PART 3: Refused train replacement. How it ended. Three weeks managed out documented retaliation. Manager and HR called me in. Don’t think right fit anymore. Best we part ways.#refusedtotrain #notateamplayer #isaidno #over50 #corporatetiktok ♬ original sound - The Unobsolete

“I’ve never been prouder of someone I don’t know,” one viewer wrote.

Thankfully, this story has a happy ending. The Unobsolete got her demands met, and with that six months of pay, she was able to build what she “actually wanted.” Furthermore, she learned that not long after she left, the 25-year-old quit the job and the company was left scrambling to fill the position. Talk about karmic justice.

“Turns out, I wasn’t obsolete after all. I was just undervalued. There’s a difference.”

Now, she’s taking what she’s learned to help other experienced professionals protect themselves against being taken advantage of.

“They’re counting on you being afraid…stop being what they’re counting on.”

That’s useful advice for anyone, no matter what age they are.

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HOA told a guy exactly how to mow his own lawn. He found an epic loophole they didn't see coming.

The HOA said straight lines. He heard "challenge accepted."

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Aerial view of man mowing his lawn

There is a particular kind of frustration that comes with being told how to mow your own lawn. Not whether the grass is too long, not whether the edges need trimming, but the specific direction your lawnmower needs to travel. For the man behind the TikTok account @rootedlawnco, that was apparently the line.

His HOA had instructed him to mow only in straight lines. So he did. Sort of.

In a video that has been bouncing around TikTok with the caption "Take that HOA," he methodically mows his lawn in long, flowing, perfectly symmetrical waves. The result is gorgeous: a sea of alternating light and dark grass bands that roll across the yard like something off a golf course or a baseball field. He even varies the cut depth on alternating passes to give it a color shift, which makes the whole thing pop even more from a distance. The text overlay on the video reads, "When HOA tells you only straight lines." His face, for what it's worth, is extremely unbothered.

@rootedlawnco

Take that HOA!! #mowing #stripes #hoa #lawncare #mowing

In a follow-up video, he shared an aerial shot of the lawn covered in sand: "POV: You can't go to the beach, so you bring the waves to you."

@rootedlawnco

Surfs up 🤙🏽 What do you think of the wavey stripes? Pretty sure @Chase has these trade marked by now. #stripes #waves #lawnstripes #beforeandafter #reelmower #allettmowers #greengrass🌱 #dronevideo


The comments landed exactly where you'd expect. "Tell them you have astigmatism and this is straight," wrote @nowherenothin. @spiderlover74 added, "No way they're trying to control the direction you mow your lawn." One commenter, @caffeinatedpossum, offered a legal-ish read on the situation: "HOAs have legal rights to control the aesthetic of your grass, but there's no legal standard for them to control cutting patterns as the cutting pattern is semantic." (That's one interpretation, though HOA rules vary widely by state and governing documents, so your mileage may vary on that one.)

The broader frustration behind the video is real and well documented. A survey conducted by Rocket Mortgage found that 57% of HOA homeowners dislike having one, and more than 3 in 10 feel their HOA has too much power. A separate YouGov poll found that most Americans actually oppose HOA rules specifically around landscaping, with more people against those restrictions than in favor of them. And yet, 38% of HOA residents think their HOA is too restrictive, with rules about yard signs, fences, and landscaping among the most contested.

It's worth saying that HOAs were not invented to tell people which direction to push their lawnmower. The idea was originally to maintain shared spaces and protect property values. But there's a gap between that intention and the reality of a board with the authority to regulate the pattern of someone's grass, and that gap is where videos like this one get millions of views.

In yet another video, he openly disregards the HOA's rules against using sand to level his yard: "POV: When the HOA says no sand, but you did it anyway..."

@rootedlawnco

Yep, the HOA will be all over me for this one! Got a bumpy lawn? Check out my 4 part mini series on You Tube and learn all you need to know in under 10 minutes. Mowing is super enjoyable but mowing a smooth lawn is literally the best thing! I need to do this to my back lawn pretty badly. Maybe this Fall I will. #level #leveling #bumpy #Lawn #diy #lawntips #compost #sand #topsoil #smooth #HOA

There is something deeply satisfying about a response that is simultaneously fully compliant and completely defiant. He did not fight the rule. He did not post an angry letter or file a complaint. He just made something beautiful out of the constraint, posted it to TikTok, and let the rest of us enjoy it.

The lawn looks incredible, for the record.

You can follow @rootedlawnco on TikTok for more content on home decor and lifestyle.

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