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Health

To the men I love, about men who scare me.

I went to get a drink by myself, and I have a message for men everywhere.

a woman with dark hair looks out over an overgrown street
Photo by Kyle Broad on Unsplash

For the well-intentioned men in my life.


I got a promotion a few days ago, so I decided to stop for a drink on my way home—just me and my sense of accomplishment.

I ended up alone in the bar, running defense against a bouncer who held my ID hostage while he commented on my ass (among other things) and asked me vaguely threatening questions about my sex life.

This is not a Yelp review. It's not an angry rant, and it's definitely not something women need to be reminded of.

As far as I can tell, there is only one good lesson to pull out of this otherwise shitty and all-too-familiar interaction: In my experience, a lot of thoroughly decent men are still having trouble understanding this.

I have a friend who once joked that it was all right for him to catcall women because he's good-looking. I had another ask me in faux outrage why it was OK for me to describe a cupcake (as in an actual chocolate baked good) as a “seven," but not OK for him to rank women the same way. I was recently at a house party where a group of guys referred to a soundproofed recording studio in the basement as the “rape room" 45 times.

Some of these jokes were a little funny. Some of them really weren't. But they were all endemic of something more sinister, and I honestly don't think the men in question even realize it.

So to the generally well-intentioned men in my life, please consider this:

This has made me defensive. It has put me more on my guard than I would like to be.

woman sitting in a crowded bar

Navigating the bar scene.

Photo by Alex Voulgaris on Unsplash

Decent male humans, this is not your fault, but it also does not have nothing to do with you.

If a woman is frosty or standoffish or doesn't laugh at your joke, consider the notion that maybe she is not an uptight, humorless bitch, but rather has had experiences outside your realm of understanding that have adversely colored her perception of the world.

Consider that while you're just joking around, a woman might actually be doing some quick mental math to see if she's going to have to hide in a bathroom stall and call someone to come help her, like I did three days ago.

Please adjust your mindset and your words accordingly.


This article was written by Laura Munoz and originally appeared nine years ago.

Unsplash

I've always really liked cliches, idioms, proverbs, and common phrases that we like to use over and over. They can get repetitive at times, but they're crucial tools in communication. They allow us to convey so much meaning in so few words — a commonly understood shorthand that can get complex points across quickly.

The only problem is that many of the most popular idioms in common use date back hundreds of years. In that time, they've either become outdated, or seen their words adopt new meanings. In some cases the idioms have been shortened or reversed, losing important context. So when someone tells you to "bite the bullet," you may inherently know what they mean — but if you really stop and think about it, you have no idea why it means what it means.

If you're a word nerd like me, you'll be absolutely fascinated by the origin and evolution of some of these common idioms, and how they came to mean what they mean today.

1. Sick as a dog / Working like a dog

dog typing on laptopGiphy

Ever have a cold and tell someone you're "sicker than a dog?" Kind of rude to dogs, in my opinion, and a little strange. I've had dogs my whole life and can't remember any of them coming down with the flu.

Sick as a dog actually originates hundreds of years ago, if not longer. Some explanations say that in the 1700s, stray dogs were responsible for the spread of many diseases, along with rats and other gutter critters. There are also references as far back as the Bible to dogs eating their own vomit — sounds pretty sick to me.

What about working like a dog? Dogs are the laziest creatures around! For this one you have to remember that dogs as "pleasure pets" is a relatively recent phenomenon, and before that they had to earn their keep by working tirelessly on the farm to herd and protect the animals.

2. Sweating like a pig

This is an extremely common idiom that we all use and accept. There's just one problem with it. Pigs don't sweat!

So... what gives? You might be surprised to hear that 'sweating like a pig' actually has nothing to do with farm animals.

According to McGill University: "The term is actually derived from the iron smelting process in which hot iron poured on sand cools and solidifies with the pieces resembling a sow and piglets. Hence 'pig iron'. As the iron cools, the surrounding air reaches its dew point, and beads of moisture form on the surface of the 'pigs'. 'Sweating like a pig' indicates that the "pig" (ie iron) has cooled enough to be safely handled. And that's a "pig" you wouldn't want to eat."

3. Bite the bullet

Biting the bullet refers to sucking it up and doing something hard, something you don't want to do but is necessary, and accepting the difficult consequences and/or pain that comes with it. But what does that have to do with biting a bullet?

There are different theories on this. One common explanation is that in the olden days it was common for soldiers on the battlefield receiving surgery to bite down on a lead bullet. You've probably seen people in moving biting down on a piece of wood or leather strap. Since lead is a softer metal, it would give just a little bit between their teeth and not damage them. So the idiom 'biting the bullet' means, okay, this is going to suck, just bite down and get through it.

4. Healthy as a horse

This one has always confused me. As a layman, it seems like horses are prone to injury and have trouble recovering when they hurt themselves. More research shows that horses can not vomit, which means they are highly at risk for deadly colic episodes. Doesn't sound super healthy!

The best explanation I can find for healthy as a horse is that, again, in the olden days, horses were symbols of health and strength and vitality. Which checks out — they're really powerful, majestic creatures.

5. Slept like a baby

To many parents, this common idiom is rage-inducing. If babies sleep so well, why am I so exhausted all the time?!

Yes, babies are notorious for waking up every few hours or at the first sign of hunger or a dirty diaper. It puts their parents through the wringer (another strange idiom!). But to the outside observer, a sleeping baby is pure bliss. They are so innocent and blissfully unaware of anything going on around them — after all, if they're not sitting in a dirty diaper they really don't have too many other things to worry about. Also, despite all their shenanigans, babies do sleep a lot — around 17 hours a day or so. When you put it that way, the idiom starts to make a little sense.

6. Happy as a clam

Clams are a lot of things. Some people find them delicious, others disgusting. One thing I think we can all agree on is that clams don't seem particularly happy, which makes this idiom a bit of a conundrum.

The truth is that this phrase is actually derived from the full version: "Happy as a clam at high water."

At low water, or low tide, clams are exposed to predators. At high tide, they're safe in deeper water. That's about as happy as mollusk can get!

7. The proof is in the pudding

Hey, we all love pudding. But what the heck does this mean? If you're not familiar, it refers to judging something based on the results it generates — but what that has to do with pudding is a bit of a mystery to most people.

This is another example of a shortened idiom that makes more sense when you read the full, original line: "The proof of the pudding is in the eating."

According to Dictionary.com it "originated as a reference to the fact that it was difficult to judge if the pudding was properly cooked until it was actually being eaten. In other words, the test of whether it’s done is taking a bite."

8. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth

smiling horseGiphy

I've always been a big fan of this idiom, which basically means that it's rude to over-analyze or criticize something you got for free, especially when it was a nice gesture from a friend or loved one.

But here we go with horses again! This phrase likely originated from the fact that you can determine a horse's age and health by looking at its teeth. So if someone were to give you a horse as a gift, it would be rude to immediately try to see how "good" it was by looking in its mouth.

9. Clean as a whistle

Whistles are objectively disgusting. They collect spit and germs every time they're used. I certainly wouldn't hold them up as a beacon of cleanliness.

So what gives with this idiom? There are several possible explanations that have been proposed.

First, a whistle won't work, or won't work very well, if it has debris blocking up its inside. So you can think of "clean" in this case as being "empty or free of clutter." Another possibility is that, in this idiom, clean refers to sharpness — as in the sharp sound a whistle makes — and that inference has been lost over time.

10. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps

This phrase is commonly use to describe someone who was "self-made" and built themselves up into a success from nothing. Imagine lying on the floor and hoisting yourself to your feet using only the straps on your boots.

The only problem is... that's impossible! And that's exactly the point. This idiom is actually meant to be sarcastic and to imply that "socioeconomic advancement... was an impossible accomplishment," according to Useless Etymology.

11. Have your cake and eat it too

cartoon cake sliceGiphy

Why bother having a cake if you can't eat it? That's the mystery of this extremely common idiom or proverb (sometimes worded "you can't have your cake and eat it, too")

The explanation is actually really simple. "Have" in this case really means "keep" or "hold onto." So, in that case, it makes perfect sense that you can't eat your cake and also still have it. "You can't have it both ways," would be another way of saying it.

12. Head over heels

Very rarely do people describe being deeply in love without using this phrase. But it's a confusing one, because isn't your head always over your heels? That doesn't seem to be an extraordinary state of being.

The idiom here has actually been flipped over time for unknown reasons. Originally, it went "heels over head", implying upside down. Some say it may also reference certain sexual positions...

13. Pushing the envelope

When I think of radical, risky, or pushing the limits of what's possible, sliding an envelope across a table just somehow doesn't quite capture it for me. But an envelope doesn't have to be just a paper container that you put other paper in. It can actually refer to different parts and practices of an aircraft.

"Push the envelope comes from aeronautics, where it refers to a set of performance limits that may not be safely exceeded," according to Merriam Webster. Now that's more like it!

Science

Health experts created a patch that can repair damaged hearts

German scientists found a way to fix a broken heart—literally

A new patch made of human cells could help repair damage from heart failure.

Scientists at the University Medical Center Göttingen in Germany have found a way to mend hearts. Not the metaphorical version, but literal flesh-and-blood hearts! Through cell manipulation they have successfully tested a patch that can strengthen heart tissue for those with heart disease and advanced heart failure.

“We now have, for the first time, a laboratory grown biological transplant available, which has the potential to stabilize and strengthen the heart muscle,” said co-author of the study, Prof. Ingo Kutschka to The Guardian.

In this study, the researchers took blood cells from a donor and “reprogrammed” them into mimicking stem cells. This allowed those cells to further change into heart muscle cells and connective tissue cells. After combining these cells with collagen, the scientists were able to create a graftable patch that could be implanted onto a damaged area of the heart to increase its strength. In fact, the completed heart muscle patches have the characteristics of a heart that is only four to eight years old.

Doctor checking a person's heart with a stethoscopeThese patches could help many people with heart problems.Photo credit: Canva

The reason for this experiment was two-fold. First, it was done to explore other health care options for people who need a donated heart, which is typically a very long waitlist. Secondly, because previous methods of injecting heart muscle cells into the heart have led to patients experiencing tumors or an irregular heartbeat, both of which could be fatal.

Initial trials of this heart patch have been promising. After successful trials with macaque monkeys, the researchers approached a 46-year-old woman with advanced heart failure to treat her with patches made with human cells after a minimally invasive procedure. Three months afterward, the patient received a transplant and the scientists were able to study her discarded heart that they had patched to see how effective their treatment was. They found that not only did the patches survive but they had developed their own blood supply.

While this is definitely great news for heart patients, there still needs to be further testing. As of now, it takes three to six months for these patches to fully benefit the patient, meaning that transplants would be prioritized for patients that urgently need a new heart. However, fifteen patients have been approved for the procedure and are currently being monitored with their new heart patches.

Surgeons with a box that says "Human Organ for Transplant"While this heart patch is an option, it cannot fully replace human heart transplants.Photo credit: Canva

While advances in heart medicine are great news overall, further research is needed to make sure this and other advances are viable in the long term. In the meantime, it’s best for everyone to take steps to ensure maximum heart health. This may sound like an afterschool special or a basic lesson in health class, but according to American Heart Association nearly half of American adults have a cardiovascular issue, so it might be good to have a refresher.

Woman checking her heart rate outside.Running and other cardiovascular exercise helps keep your heart rate up and helps keep your heart healthy.Photo credit: Canva

Make sure your diet is rich with heart-healthy foods like vegetables and fish, with little to no added fat, sugar, or salt. Exercise at least 150 minutes per week to keep your heart rate strong. Visit your doctor with regular check-ups to keep track of your overall health, so you can both create a treatment plan if something comes up.

Over time, more and more medical breakthroughs will occur, but it’ll be better to do what you can to ensure you’ll be around to see them.

Education

Swim coach's reaction when toddler tries to kiss him is a masterclass in teaching boundaries

People are impressed with how expertly and professionally he handled it.

It takes a village, as they say.

People who work with children—teachers, coaches, mentors—are often beloved by the kids they serve, especially if they're good at what they do. Those caring adult relationships are important in a child's life, but they can also lead to some awkward situations as kids learn appropriate ways to show affection to different people. A baby might cover their mother's face with slobbery kisses, but other adults may not appreciate that very much. As kids grow, they learn what's okay and not okay, not just from their parents but from the village of adults in their lives as well.

A perfect example of what that looks like was shared in a video showing a swim instructor at the end of a swim lesson with a toddler who hugged him and then went in for a kiss. The hug was expected and welcome—"Thank you, Mila. I love Mila hugs!" the swim coach said. But when she started to go in for a kiss, he immediately pulled back, gently saying, "No, no kissy. No kissy 'cause I'm coach. You only kiss Mommy and Daddy, okay?"

The little girl looked a bit dejected and started to cry, and he quickly gave her an acceptable alternative. "Okay, hey! High five!" he said, while holding up his hand. "High five 'cause we're all done!" She calmed right down, gave him a high five, and then he moved on to clean-up time.

Watch:



His expression at the end of the video says it all—he knew that was a teachable moment that could have gone very wrong, but he handled it with clear professionalism and toddler-friendly expertise. People loved seeing such a great example:

"So sweet... I sometimes have young clients who want to give kisses and it's so cute but you do have to tell them "no" because it's an important boundary to learn. Not everyone wants kisses!"

"On top of knowing not to do it to other people, it also teaches them for themselves that other people shouldn’t be just giving them kisses."

"The kid is absolutely adorable but that coach is on another level. Creating the boundaries while keeping it cool and recording the whole thing so the parents are extremely comfortable. Dude is setting a hell of example."

"It sounds like he's got a good balance between encouraging her growth and setting appropriate boundaries. Kids can be incredibly affectionate, and it's important to gently guide them in understanding what's suitable."

Jake Johnson Fox GIF by New GirlGiphy

"I also think it’s important for the parents’ comfort that a grown man swimming with their young girl isn’t overstepping boundaries/being predatory. From the outside looking in, it’s hard to know for sure when something is innocent or not. It’s better to just stay away from those situations as a whole."

"The little girls I used to babysit always tried to give me kisses (they were between 2-5) and I had to tell them that I’m not related to you, so you can’t kiss me. You can hi-five or hug me, but no kisses! They still give me running tackle hugs when they see me!"

A few commenters pointed out that some cultures see kissing as totally acceptable, as it's frequently used as a friendly greeting for people of all ages and genders. But even in those cultures, boundaries based on relationships and contexts are important to learn, and it's helpful when adults help teach those lessons so it doesn't all fall on the parents.

Well done, Coach. Thanks for giving us all such a fabulous example to follow.

Modern Families

'SAHMs Listen up!': Texas UPS driver has pointed message about stay-at-home moms and entitlement

“You are so privileged to have a person who is willing to provide such a carefree life for you.”

A UPs driver takes a break and makes a phone call.

J.R. Milton, a 33-year-old UPS driver from the Dallas, Texas area, ruffled some feathers recently with a viral TikTok video titled “SAHMs Listen up!” that begins with him asking, “I mean, how entitled could you be?” At first, Milton appears to fail to appreciate the enormous amount of emotional, mental, and physical labor that stay-at-home moms provide.

“I truly cannot imagine the amount of arrogance you must have to sit there and complain when you are so privileged to have a person who is willing to provide such a carefree life for you,” Milton continues. “Let’s get real! What do you do all day? Your spouse is taking care of everything so you can take care of one thing. How complicated could it be: all you do is go to work?”

At this point, legions of stay-at-home mothers and those who love them considered trucking themselves to Dallas to find this unappreciative UPS driver. However, it was soon apparent that Milton was referring to himself.

@minton__jr

Grow tf up—You should be doing more. #sahm #sahmlife #momlife #mom #momsoftiktok #sahmsoftiktok #sahmtok #momtok

“For 10 hours a day, you get to live the life of a single, childless, carefree man because your wife was willing to take the financial risk of allowing you to be successful in your career while she takes care of everything else,” he continues. “She provides childcare services, home cleaning services, medical services, food services, scheduling services, and a list that goes on and on. And you provide... a paycheck? And you have the nerve to call yourself the provider! What is it going to take for you to realize that, bro, everything you have in your life is because of a stay-at-home mom.”

The commenters on the video breathed sighs of relief and then praised Milton, a father of 4, for publicly appreciating his wife’s work.



"My sleeves were rolled up, earrings were off, hair tied up.... I was so ready...." one commenter joked. "I thought I landed in enemy territory for a min..." another added. "You have just made me realize after all these years that *I* am the freaking provider and that feels amazing,” a stay-at-home mother wrote.

People appreciate Milton’spost because he praised stay-at-home mothers and placed his wife’s work above his, which he characterized as merely bringing home a paycheck. Milton has one job, delivering packages, but as he noted, his wife is an expert in over five different professions. In a world where stay-at-home moms are fighting to be seen as equals to their working spouses, Milton places them on a pedestal and owes his “carefree life” to them.

This post isn’t the first time Milton has pulled the bait and switch on his followers. Last year, he made a video where he appeared to take pride in the fact that he never “helps” his wife with chores.

The twist in this video was that he doesn’t “help” his wife with chores because they are also his responsibility. "Because I do what I am supposed to do as a father and a husband. I cook. I clean. I do the laundry. I take care of the kids. I can't help my wife do those things because they are my job, too,” he reveals.

He then urged men to change their perspectives on how they view stay-at-home moms. “Change the way you speak, change the way you think, and grow the f*** up and be a man," he added.

Upworthy has reached out to Minton and is awaiting his response.

Screenshot from 'The Tonight Show' interview on YouTube

Questlove opens his 'SNL' documentary with an all-time great musical mashup.

Questlove—drummer/producer of hip-hop legends The Roots, longtime Tonight Show bandleader, Oscar-winning filmmaker, and an all-time elite music nerd—recently helped create a musical mashup destined for the pop culture time capsule. The seven-minute piece serves as the cold open to Ladies & Gentlemen … 50 Years of SNL Music, his new NBC documentary co-directed with Oz Rodriguez—but it’s truly a standalone work of art, cleverly blending sounds you’d never expect: Nelly and Franz Ferdinand, Cher and Hanson, Run-DMC and Hall & Oates.

The piece is bookended by snippets of R&B-rock songwriter Billy Preston, the first-ever SNL musical guest, from his performance on October 11, 1975. Everything else is brilliant madness, with songs from the past five decades forming a surreal collage. Usher’s Crunk&B hit "Yeah!" is matched with Gwen Stefani’s pop-rap chant-along "Hollaback Girl"; Nelly’s swaggering hip-hop smash "Hot in Herre" merges with Franz Ferdinand’s stomping indie-rock smash "Take Me Out."

The pairings get progressively more outrageous and wonderful—including Run-DMC’s "Walk This Way" with Hall & Oates’ "I Can’t Go for That (No Can Do)," Cher’s "I Found Someone" with Hanson’s "MMMBop," Queen’s "Under Pressure" with Dave Matthews Band’s "Ants Marching," John Mellencamp’s "Hurt So Good" with Roy Orbison’s "Pretty Woman," Bobby McFerrin’s "Drive" with Busta Rhymes’ "Tear da Roof Off" and TLC’s "Creep," and NSYNC’s "Bye Bye Bye" with Dido’s "Thank You" and Destiny’s Child’s "Survivor."

In a recent Tonight Show interview with Jimmy Fallon, Questlove wrote that he watched every single SNL episode—including over 900 musical performances—while making the documentary. And the process of piecing together the opening section, he says, took 11 months. Fallon called the cold open "the greatest opening of any documentary," saying it gave him goosebumps. "You showed me the first six minutes of the doc in my office, and I think I cried," he said. "I think when you left, I teared up—I was so emotional."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Ladies & Gentlemen … 50 Years of SNL Music, which is available to stream via Peacock, is much more than its mind-blowing intro. The film chronicles some of the most innovative, controversial, and bizarre musical performances on the show, along with famous sketches ("James Brown’s Celebrity Hot Tub Party") and digital shorts ("Lazy Sunday") that are built around music.

On Instagram, Questlove enthused about his lifelong SNL "obsession."

"Thank god my family was hip enough to let their 5 year old kid wake up 12:30am to watch his fav show," he wrote. "It was a half hour early because most of my fav musicians were on SNL (Bill Withers/Gil Scott-Heron/Phoebe Snow/Al Jarreau/The Meters) … So doing this project was a NO BRAINER because I know this show like the back of my hand. So every second of this doc is a love letter of sorts."

Politics Activism GIF by NRDCGiphy

Questlove has been on a roll lately as a director. His other film project of 2025, the Sly and the Family Stone documentary Sly Lives! (aka The Burden of Black Genius), recently premiered at Sundance and will hit Hulu on February 13.