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How to prepare for extended school closings—and not lose your mind

How to prepare for extended school closings—and not lose your mind

There is no getting around the fact that this is an extremely stressful time for all of us. There are concerns for our health, of course. But it's not just that.

The ripple effect of the Coronavirus could be vast – impacting our daily life in profound ways over the coming weeks and months.

If you're the parent of a school-aged child, you've almost certainly become aware that the chance of your child's school closing for an extended amount of time is very real. Quite possibly your local school has already been shut down (I just got a call that our schools close tomorrow).


Liz Faria

My background as a social worker with children and families has given me some thoughts on how to best prepare for a situation like this (although the mom in me feels the stress like everyone else!).

For a lot of us, the thought of an indeterminate amount of time at home with our kids – perhaps unable to socialize much with others, and while many of us will be trying to work remotely – well, it's daunting to say the least.

These next few days are a good time to begin to wrap our brains around this likely scenario, and to come up with some strategies to cope with the stresses this will bring.

Here are my thoughts for making it through this quarantine with your kids.

KIDS THRIVE ON ROUTINE AND PREDICTABILITY

Children need routine and predictability in order to feel safe. This is especially important during a time of crisis.

It's one thing to be off of your routine for a few days over the holidays. It's quite another to be off of your routine for an unknown amount of time, without any of the familiar signposts to anchor you (which are readily available during the holidays, and completely absent in our current scenario).

So, this is very important: Create order, with some flexibility, in your days as soon as possible.

WHAT THIS LOOKS LIKE:

Set up a schedule that involves regular times for bathing, eating, school-work/learning activities, and socializing.

Maintain a set time for going to sleep, and the same bedtime routine your kids are used to.

This is not the time to let it become the Wild West at your house. In doing so, you will be taking away the structure and normalcy that will keep your child feeling safe.

There is room for some flexibility – you do not need to be running a military operation from your family room. But a general structure and flow to the day that the kids can expect will help you greatly here.

FOCUS ON SCHOOL WORK IN REASONABLE INCREMENTS

Depending on your child's age, they may have some academics they're expected to keep up with at home. My best suggestion here is to establish a certain time of day (not the whole day!) and a certain place for study at your house. A few hours AT MOST should be sufficient.

If your school hasn't sent home any materials, you will be able to find some great learning materials online. Sheppard Software and Khan Academy are examples of excellent online resources for kids.

Reading with your child, doing hands-on projects, even baking and playing board games can be educational. Again this depends on your child's age. Hopefully we will all be getting a bit of direction from our local teachers, if this quarantine goes on for any length of time.

LIMIT YOUR CHILD'S ANXIETY BY MANAGING YOUR OWN

This is a highly uncertain time on a massive scale. While kids will have varying levels of awareness about the scope of concern over the Coronavirus, they will for sure be picking up on our anxieties.

Talk to your kids about what is going on, without being overly dramatic. Fortunately, we can honestly tell our kids that most children are not becoming very sick from this virus, and that they should be OK.

You can explain to them why we are practicing "social distancing" and use this as a teachable moment in prevention. There is no need to unduly scare our kids, but they should have a general idea of what's going on.

If you and another adult are going to discuss the Coronavirus, be mindful of your child's age and emotional ability to process the conversation they may be privy to. Kids hear EVERYTHING. Except when you want them to listen, at which time they hear nothing.

BUILD IN TIME TO LET OFF STEAM

Let's be honest here, this is going to be stressful. You and your kids are going to be on top of each other, maybe for awhile. Nobody is used to this!

So find ways to let out steam – a loud dance party, a quick run around the block with your kids, a communal yell – whatever! Let. It. Out.

CUT YOUR KIDS SOME SLACK

This isn't the time to be on top of every annoying behavior. Give your kids some grace.

They will need it, and also it's been shown that sometimes the best way to deal with an irritating behavior from a kid is to simply look the other way. Not for the really egregious stuff, but for the small stuff.

Try to ignore what you can ignore, and save your interventions for when you really need them (which, let's be honest, we're gonna need them).

DON'T BE ON TOP OF YOUR KIDS ALL DAY

You will need space from them and they'll need it from you. If you can create pockets of the day for alone time, or quiet / independent time, please do.

TRY TO GET OUTSIDE

Liz Faria

If at all possible, find time during the day to get outside; in your yard, for walks, maybe on a trail.

This is not a natural disaster or war – we're just trying to create social distancing here.

So get some fresh air when you can.

IF YOU'RE WORKING FROM HOME, RELAX YOUR STANDARDS

We all know it is REALLY HARD to work from home when you have the kids with you. It can feel nearly impossible. But a lot of us will be working from home, and if this is a lengthy quarantine situation we have to find ways to make this work. So do what you need to do, here.

You may need to allow more screen time than usual. You may need to accept that the house won't be as clean as you'd like. You might make dinner more basic so you don't have to stress about prep or cleanup.

You have work to do, and that's going to be very challenging with your kids at home. So let some things go, within reason.

ASK YOUR KIDS TO STEP UP TO THE CHALLENGE

Kids like to feel that they have an important role. Help them understand that this is an unusual time and that we ALL need to pitch in to get through it.

If your kids don't have a few chores yet, this is a great time to start. Make it a daily part of their routine, and let them know that they're helping the family out by pitching in.

Also let your kids know that by sacrificing their social and school time, they are doing a great service to other more vulnerable community members. They are helping to keep people safe.

Be on the lookout for ways you and your child can help a neighbor – maybe an elderly person who needs groceries, or the kid next door who doesn't have a solid lunch. Help when you can, and let your child brainstorm ways to help.

This is a chance to model altruism, so take it.

FIND A WAY TO MAKE SOME SPECIAL MEMORIES

As weird as it sounds, there are actually some good opportunities here to make special memories with your kids.

We are in uncharted territory now. I'm almost certain that we will remember this time – and how we came together, or didn't – decades from now. So do your best to find some way to create special moments.

  • Maybe every night the kids get to put special toppings on an ice cream scoop.
  • Maybe you all read together in a tent with a flashlight, to create a sense of adventure and camaraderie rather than fear.
  • Maybe you watch a movie together as a family each night, knowing you can sleep in a bit later (unless you have toddlers, in which case good luck sleeping later).
  • Maybe instead of a regular nightly bath it's a bubble bath with glow sticks around the room.

You get the idea.

Kids love and appreciate magic, and anything that seems "special" or out of the ordinary. So do something to acknowledge that this time is different – and to allow a new, special tradition to take root in your child's mind.

These are the things childhood memories are made of, and despite the fear many of us feel, we do have an opportunity here.

THIS IS GOING TO BE HARD.

But we can do it.

In fact – we have no other choice! It's like being in labor that way. You can't really opt out, and it's going to hurt, but….well, it is the reality of our current situation.

As much as possible, try to think of yourself as a strong leader for your kids (even if you kind of want to puke right now). Step into the role you've been given. Every generation faces hardships, and it is too soon to tell what it is we are up against here. But we can do this.

Reach out to your friends, laugh when you can, and remember that this will pass. And let's help each other out whenever possible.

This article was originally published on A Mothership Down.

Race & Ethnicity

Woman's rare antique turned away from 'Antique Roadshow' for heart-wrenching reason

"I just love you for bringing it in and thank you so much for making me so sad."

Woman's antique turned away from 'Antique Roadshow'

People come by things in all sorts of ways. Sometimes you find something while at a garage sale and sometimes it's because a family member passed away and it was left to them. After coming into possession of the item, the owner may be tempted to see how much it's worth so it can be documented for insurance purposes or sold.

On a recent episode of BBC One's Antique Roadshow, a woman brought an ivory bracelet to be appraised. Interestingly enough, the expert didn't meet this rare find with excitement, but appeared somber. The antique expert, Ronnie Archer-Morgan carefully explains the purpose of the bracelet in what appears to be a tense emotional exchange.

There would be no appraisal of this antique ivory bracelet adorned with beautiful script around the circumference. Archer-Morgan gives a brief disclaimer that he and the Antique Roadshow disapprove of the trade of ivory, though that was not his reason for refusing the ivory bangle.

"This ivory bangle here is not about trading in ivory, it’s about trading in human life, and it’s probably one of the most difficult things that I’ve ever had to talk about. But talk about it we must," Archer-Morgan says.

Ronnie Archer-Morgan, Antiques Roadshow, BBC, antiques, ivoryRonnie Archer-Morgan on an episode of the BBC's Antiques RoadshowImage via Antqiues Roadshow


Turns out the woman had no idea what she had in her possession as she purchased it from an estate sale over 30 years before. One of the elderly residents she cared for passed away and the woman found the ivory bracelet among the things being sold. Finding the bangle particularly intriguing with the fancy inscription around it, she decided to purchase the unique piece of jewelry.

After explaining that his great-grandmother was once enslaved in Nova Scotia, Canada before being returned to Sierra Leone, Archer-Morgan concluded he could not price the item.

Antiques Roadshow, BBC, Ronnie Archer MorganRonnie Archer-Morgan holds the ivory bracelet he refused to valueImage via Antiques Roadshow/BBC

"I just don’t want to value it. I do not want to put a price on something that signifies such an awful business. But the value is in the lessons that this can tell people," he tells the woman.

In the end the woman leaves without knowing the monetary value of the item but with a wealth of knowledge she didn't have before visiting. Now she can continue to share the significance of the antique with others. Watch the full explanation below:


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

This article originally appeared last year.

Family

'Wild child' shocked to be reunited with foster 'mama' from the '80s after emotional X post

"In the ‘80s, she took in a wild, ignorant WHITE child. Y'all, it wasn't the done thing in that area."

Hannah Smith and Essie Gilchrist reunited after 40 years.

It had been 40 years since Hannah Smith, then 54, had talked to Essie Gilchrist, whom she knew as ‘Mama Essie.' She wasn’t sure if she was alive, but Smith had to express her love for the woman who gave her stability at a time when her life was total chaos. In December 2023, she posted about the difference Gilchrist had made in her life over the year she lived with her and apologized for how she treated her all those years ago.

“I was 12 yrs old when my mother lost the ability to parent me safely. I was taken from her & put into a huge, scary children’s shelter. It took a long time but they finally found someone who would take in a deeply troubled, rather wild child like me,” Smith began a post on X. “I wasn’t all that nice to her. I stole from her. I ran up her phone bill calling my boyfriend. I eventually ran away & was put back in the shelter & never saw her again. I’m sure I broke her heart."

“And… The foundation of EVERYTHING I know about grace, abt dignity, abt fashion, makeup hair care (I still use a pick), elegance, excellence, self-care, patience, love, goodness, generosity & fierceness in the face of pain came from my Mama Essie,” Smith continued.


“Mama Essie, if you’re still with us or peering through the windows of heaven…thank you. From the bottom of my heart,” Smith concluded. “I heard you. I saw you. You made a difference, more than you’ll ever know.” The post went viral, amassing over 2 million views. After just a few hours, Macrina Juliana on X identified Gilchrist and sent Smith a photo. That's when Smith realized why she couldn't locate her. 'Mama Essie' had gotten married and changed her last name.



A lot had changed since the two first met in the 1980s. Smith is now a trauma therapist who lives in Washington state. It took a long time for Smith to find her footing in the world, but Gilchrest’s example was always top of mind mind. “After I left, I had two and a half decades of continued self-destruction,” Smith recalled on the “Tamron Hall Show.” “I was in a cult. I ran off to India all kinds of things. But all along the way, there was always this sense that there was something better, and I had a picture of what stability looked like.”

Gilchrist, now in her 70s, would go on to foster 20 more children over 30 years, and she is the president of the Women of Color International Stockton. She is also involved with the Junior League of San Joaquin County. She told The Stockton Record that her foster children are all her “gooddaughters” and that “God sent them to me.” She also has a daughter of her own.

Soon after Smith identified Gilchrist, the two had a 45-minute phone conversation. "Good Morning Lovelies... 45 minutes with Essie on the phone last night was amazing. So much I forgot," Smith wrote on X. "I’ve felt like I’ve been pacing, wandering...I feel my soul stirring again. I know my story helps people. I feel inspired, infused. I’m here for it. Good things are coming!!"

The two reunited in person on an episode of “The Tamron Hall Show,” where Smith shared her feelings. "I just want to thank you so much because there's no way in the world you would have known that I would come out like this,” Smith said. "I know that what you did every day, the places you took us, the things that you did, really set a good foundation. Thank you, Mama Essie.”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com


Heroes

Nazis demanded to know if ‘The Hobbit’ author J.R.R. Tolkien was Jewish. His response was legendary.

J.R.R. Tolkien had no problem telling his German publishing house exactly what he thought.

J.R.R. Tolkien didn't mince words when asked his opinion on Nazis

In 1933, Adolf Hitler handed the power of Jewish cultural life in Nazi Germany to his chief propagandist, Joseph Goebbels. Goebbels established a team of of regulators that would oversee the works of Jewish artists in film, theater, music, fine arts, literature, broadcasting, and the press.

Goebbels' new regulations essentially eliminated Jewish people from participating in mainstream German cultural activities by requiring them to have a license to do so.

This attempt by the Nazis to purge Germany of any culture that wasn't Aryan in origin led to the questioning of artists from outside the country.

J.R.R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings, Nazi, Nazis, book burning, censorship, The HobbitA Nazi book burning in GermanyImage via Wikicommons

In 1938, English author J. R. R. Tolkien and his British publisher, Stanley Unwin, opened talks with Rütten & Loening, a Berlin-based publishing house, about a German translation of his recently-published hit novel, "The Hobbit."

Privately, according to "1937 The Hobbit or There and Back Again," Tolkien told Unwin he hated Nazi "race-doctrine" as "wholly pernicious and unscientific." He added he had many Jewish friends and was considering abandoning the idea of a German translation altogether.

lord of the rings hobbits GIFGiphy

The Berlin-based publishing house sent Tolkien a letter asking for proof of his Aryan descent. Tolkien was incensed by the request and gave his publisher two responses, one in which he sidestepped the question, another in which he handled in '30s-style with pure class.

In the letter sent to Rütten & Loening, Tolkien notes that Aryans are of Indo-Iranian "extraction," correcting the incorrect Nazi aumption that Aryans come from northern Europe. He cuts to the chase by saying that he is not Jewish but holds them in high regard. "I regret that I appear to have no ancestors of that gifted people," Tolkien wrote.

Tolkien also takes a shot at the race policies of Nazi Germany by saying he's beginning to regret his German surname. "The time is not far distant when a German name will no longer be a source of pride," he writes.

Bryan Cranston Mic Drop GIFGiphy

Here's the letter sent to Rütten & Loening:

25 July 1938 20 Northmoor Road, Oxford
Dear Sirs,

Thank you for your letter. I regret that I am not clear as to what you intend by arisch. I am not of Aryan extraction: that is Indo-Iranian; as far as I am aware none of my ancestors spoke Hindustani, Persian, Gypsy, or any related dialects. But if I am to understand that you are enquiring whether I am of Jewish origin, I can only reply that I regret that I appear to have no ancestors of that gifted people.

My great-great-grandfather came to England in the eighteenth century from Germany: the main part of my descent is therefore purely English, and I am an English subject — which should be sufficient. I have been accustomed, nonetheless, to regard my German name with pride, and continued to do so throughout the period of the late regrettable war, in which I served in the English army. I cannot, however, forbear to comment that if impertinent and irrelevant inquiries of this sort are to become the rule in matters of literature, then the time is not far distant when a German name will no longer be a source of pride.

Your enquiry is doubtless made in order to comply with the laws of your own country, but that this should be held to apply to the subjects of another state would be improper, even if it had (as it has not) any bearing whatsoever on the merits of my work or its sustainability for publication, of which you appear to have satisfied yourselves without reference to my Abstammung.
I trust you will find this reply satisfactory, and
remain yours faithfully,

J. R. R. Tolkien



J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, Nazis, Nazi, Germany The letter J.R.R. Tolkien wrote to his German publishersImage via Letters of Note

This article originally appeared four years ago.

Woman's Oura ring alerted her to cancer symptoms before diagnosis

Jewelry collecting biometric data and helping you keep track of your health habits are not new. Fitbits and Apple watches have been around for well over a decade combined and while most people use them to track their miles or other exercises, they also hold important data. The same can be said for one of the newest kids on the biometric block–the Oura ring.

For now the ring can't answer phone calls or texts like an Apple Watch can but it takes health data to another level. The Oura ring not only tracks how much sleep you get but it also tracks how much you move, how often you stop breathing, how much deep sleep, REM sleep, light sleep, oxygen levels and heart rate while you sleep. When you think the ring can't go any deeper into your personal biometrics, it does. Oura also alerts you when your body is showing signs of strain which can mean anything from increased stress levels to something more serious.

Nurse Nikki Gooding credits her Oura ring to saving her life by alerting her to significant changes in her body which prompted her to seek medical attention. The woman has been wearing an Oura ring for years but recently the ring suddenly started alerting her that she had "major signs" with a message that reads, "your biometrics show major signs of something straining your body. Take extra care today and rest if you're feeling low on energy."

silver aluminum case apple watch with white nike sport band Photo by Sabina on Unsplash

When Gooding peeked at the readings from her ring, everything was in the red, from body temperature to HRV (heart rate variability) balance. The smart ring also gives people a readiness score based on their biometrics, Gooding's score was consistently in the 30s to 40s since December. Readiness scores range from 0-100 with anything over 85 being optimal according to Oura.

At first the low readings didn't concern the nurse. Everyone has an off few days, especially if you're catching a cold or something minor. But when the ring continued to alert Gooding that her body was still showing signs of major strains consistently with constant low readings on all the biometrics Oura measures, she decided to do something about it.

a close up of a ring Photo by Jerry Kavan on Unsplash

The now concerned nurse went to see her doctor to voice her worries over the change in readings on her ring. Thankfully the doctor took the concerns seriously because shortly after visiting her doctor, she was hit with life altering news. Gooding has Hodgkin's lymphoma and according to her doctor it seems the cancer has only been present for six months or less. Had it not been for her ring, she may have thought the night sweats and insomnia were hormone related instead of something more serious to consider.

The nurse now sees an oncologist and it seems her prognosis is positive thanks to catching the symptoms to the disease so early. While none of the biometric jewelry on the market is designed to diagnose users, there have been several reports of smart watches alerting people to concerning heart problems. Apple Watches go as far as to instruct users to seek medical attention if their heart is showing signs of Atrial fibrillation, known more commonly as Afib. In some cases the watch's alert results in heart surgery and in one case a genetic kidney disease.

In all of these instances people's lives were spared thanks to the alerts coming from their smart devices which get to know each wearers personal biometrics. So no, an Oura ring won't tell you specifically what's wrong because you can't fit a medical professional inside of a ring smaller than a quarter, but having a piece of smart jewelry can alert your medical provider of a potential problem.

Thankfully Gooding decided to take her ring's warnings seriously and seek medical attention. As smart jewelry becomes more intuitive, it's likely to continue to save lives by alerting people of potential medical issues.

Golden Retrievers are known for being gentle and friendly, but Toby is on another level.

Animals sometimes have behaviors that baffle or surprise us, for better and for worse. Sometimes our pets' quirks drive us bonkers and other times they delight us, but occasionally, an extra special pet will have abilities that astound everyone who encounters them.

Enter Toby, the Golden Retriever with a very special talent for healing traumatized rescue animals.

Mirai is a rescued stray kitten who experienced severe physical and emotional trauma, including a serious neck injury that left her with stitches across her throat. After weeks of physical healing, she was introduced to a cat that was already mothering a litter, who began caring for Mirai as one of her own. But the tiny kitten was still wary and fearful.

Then she was introduced to Toby, a dog with remarkable sensitivity, who completely earned her trust in just three meetings. At first, she hissed and growled at him, but he was patient and persistent, never becoming aggressive or pushing past her boundaries. Toby responded to Mirai's fear and discomfort signals with an emotional intelligence many humans don't even exhibit, never going too far too fast, and seeing the way he gradually wins her over is a master class.

Watch:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

People loved seeing Toby's gentle ways.

"That's one heck of a fine therapy dog! He's got a gift."

"Toby is better at reading and understanding her signals and backing off when she makes it clear she's stressed out than most humans are."

"If humans had the hearts of golden retrievers, there would be peace on earth forever."

"Toby is a special guy. So sweet and patient. Its like he knows it's his job to make that baby feel safe."

"Toby is a natural empath and nurturer whose patience is amazing."

Mirai isn't the first rescued baby that Toby has helped to heal, and Toby isn't even the only sensitive Golden Retriever in the family. Toby's sister, Candy, also has an impressive gift for building bonds with traumatized animals.

A puppy named Den, who had been severely abused, was introduced to Toby and Candy one at a time. And though it took some time for her to warm up to each of them, their patience and perseverance eventually resulted in beautiful bonds of friendship.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Again, people gushed about how these good doggos always manage to win over even the most timid and fearful of creatures.

"Goldens: you are going to be my friend. I'll wait."

"Goldens are such a wise and gentle breed."

"Beautiful. I wish people would be as kind, patient and loving as these 2 Goldies. The world would sure be a kinder place."

"Those doggies are so smart! They know exactly what to do! From avoiding eye contact, laying down to her level, not getting into her personal space, and not being forceful about it, they are so kind and intelligent and deserve an extra treat!"

"My date once told me that I have the personality of a golden retriever. I took that as a compliment."

Indeed, Golden Retrievers are known for their friendly, patient personalities, and though there are exceptions to every rule, it's rare to find a Golden Retriever with a mean streak. However, even among Goldens, Toby and Candy appear to be exceptionally intuitive and perceptive, making them perfect companions for rescued kittens and puppies who need to some extra tender loving care as they learn to trust.

Animals that have been rescued from abuse or neglect situations have needs that sometimes another animal can best provide. Humans can do a lot for vulnerable animals—and they should—but there's something special about having companions on your own level to play and snuggle with as well. Friends like Toby and Candy can help heal emotional wounds we can't see, and that's just as important as healing the ones we can.

You can follow Toby and Candy on YouTube.