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This viral post of women getting honest about how they judge each other is a must read.

Most of us, if we live long enough, learn the truth in the saying, "Don't judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes."

A Reddit user asked, "What was a decision or choice you judged/didn’t understand until you went through it yourself?" and people had a heyday responding. From getting divorced, to being homeless, to staying in abusive relationships, the answers can teach us a lot about seeing other with a non-judgmental eye.

Here are a few of the karma lessons users shared:

Many people said they now understand why their parents always seemed boring, tired, or cranky.

Mousetronaut35813 wrote, "As a kid I never understood why adults complained about being too tired to do stuff, or wanting to do seemingly boring shit like watch the news and read newspapers, or just not wanting to do anything. Why not come play with us kids? I don't even have my own kids yet and I'm already doing the same stuff lol. I'm sorry I ever got upset at adults being 'too tired to play.'"

Another user, meckyborris, said they now understand why their parents always seemed so cranky. "I never understood why my parents were mostly always so irritable. But now, being on the other side, I know that bills, unexpected expenses racking up the credit card, cooking a meal that barely gets touched, repeating yourself 1,000 times, and basically everything else that has to do with being a parent and adult can really piss a person off lol."

[rebelmouse-image 19397911 dam="1" original_size="960x960" caption="Image via Julie Maida." expand=1]Image via Julie Maida.

A number of people said that they understand why people let go of their ambitions and embrace mediocrity.

A comment by homeschoolpromqueen summed up what many others said about how they used to judge people who weren't striving for more than an average life, but now see that mediocrity has certain merits:

"As a teenager, I was very judgmental of the adults who were just kind of 'meh'—as in, they were basically normal, middle class, bill-paying adults, but they didn't really have much spark or ambition to them. They just went to their boring jobs, phoned it in for another day, got back in their Camry, and drove home to their crappy tract houses to watch mindless TV until bedtime.

As an adult, I get it.

At some point, we all realize that we aren't going to be astronauts, and that we've already climbed the corporate ladder as high as it's going to take us. Sure, we could uproot our entire lives and risk everything we've spent the last decade-plus working towards, but why? So we can buy a marginally nicer Camry and tract house?

There's a lot to be said for a relatively easy, comfortable life."

[rebelmouse-image 19397912 dam="1" original_size="659x288" caption="Screenshot via Reddit. " expand=1]Screenshot via Reddit.

Another user, keakealani chimed in with the reality of what "following your passion" can look like:

"As someone who 'followed my passion' (classical singer), I get it too. I love what I do and really value the privilege of getting paid for what a lot of people see as pointless art, but every so often I fantasize about going back to school and going into a more 'practical, boring' career with stability and benefits.

It's a very tough balance. I don't think I would actually go through with it, but I totally understand why people do, and I work with many many people who sing as a hobby with a 'real job' to pay the bills, which is absolutely a valid option."

Sadly but not surprisingly, many people expressed an understanding of why people don't come forward after an assault.

The repetitive question of "Why didn't they come forward sooner?" after someone speaks out about a past assault has been answered a million times, but many who haven't experienced it still don't get it.

Reddit user CSQUITO wrote: "Not talking about harassment and sexual assault or not reporting it until it was too late... now I’m in that position. I used to never understand why people didn’t report straight away and I thought it was stupid."

Another user, rev9of8, said, "I'm male but I was physically assaulted by a manager (unprovoked, without warning and whilst I was defenceless) at work - an assault for which there was multiple witnesses.

The company not only let him get away with it, they then proceeded to engage in a campaign of bullying, threats, harassment, intimidation and smears intended to silence me and to cover-up what happened. They had me blacklisted and managed to turn everyone I knew against me.

Everything that was done to me ended up utterly destroying my mental health and left me profoundly traumatised. I fully understand why people choose not to come forward."

Others chimed in with their own stories of assault reports being ignored,—or worse. For example, systolicfire shared: "I was 17 and was sexually assaulted at work by a coworker who was 23. I was too scared about my parents finding out so I didn’t pursue anything legally but I hoped he’d at least get fired or something after I reported it. Nope, my workplace didn’t even GIVE HIM A WRITE UP. He was still allowed to work with me. Only one of the managers kept him from me, and that manager was the one I initially reported it to within minutes of it happening. Then when I warned my other female coworkers, I was told by a manager that that would make me look bad. I definitely understood why things go unreported so often."

Sharing these kinds of questions and answers can help us be less judgmental, but also help others know they're not alone.

The whole post on Reddit is worth a read, not only to open our eyes to how many ways we might be judging unfairly, but also to show us that so many others may be going through the same thing we are. Understanding is one of the greatest gifts we can give our fellow humans. When people share stories and experiences openly, it broadens our understanding of one another and helps us all feel less alone in our struggles.  

Family

Dad camping with his kids shared the handwritten note left on his car from a fellow camper

More of this, please.

Photo credit: Canva, Note image via RCampR6/Reddit

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."


Windshield Note.
byu/RCampR6 inYosemite

The note reads:

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard."

via GIPHY

"I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

via GIPHY

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Science

Eye-opening video shows why 80 percent of Americans live east of this line

You'll never see the U.S. the same again.

via YouTube/RealLifeLore

There's a big change at the 98th meridian.

Have you ever wondered why the eastern half of the United States is densely populated while everything west of Omaha, save for a few metro areas, is no man’s land?

Most people would assume that it’s because people first settled in the east and moved west. Or, they may believe it’s because of the vast desert that takes up most of the southwest. Those are some decent reasons, but it’s a much more complicated issue than you'd imagine.

A 20-minute video by RealLifeLore explains how topography and rainfall have created what appears to be a straight line down the middle of the country on the 98th meridian that dictates population density. Eighty percent of Americans live on the east side of the line and just twenty percent to the west.

RealLifeLore is a YouTube channel that focuses on geography and topography created by Joseph Pisenti.

In the video, we see that several large cities border the American frontier—San Antonio, Austin, Fort Worth, Oklahoma City, Wichita, Omaha, Lincoln, Sioux Falls, and Fargo, as well as Winnipeg up in Canada. To the west of those cities? Not much until you reach western California and the Pacific Northwest.

Why? Watch:

The major reason why the population drastically changes is rainfall. It rains much more on the east side of the line versus the west. The reason for the drastic change in rainfall is that the Rocky Mountains create a colossal wall known as a rain shadow that prevents moisture from passing from the Pacific Ocean. This has created a large swath of dry land that’s not conducive to larger populations.

Though the eastern U.S. is more densely populated, it doesn't mean the west doesn't sometimes feel crowded, especially if you live in Los Angeles County. What side of the line are you on?

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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geography
Joy

Woman who lives on a cruise ship shares the hardest part about her perfect life

She's a little afraid to leave her cabin.

via Christine Kesteloo/TikTok and Cagri Gurbuz/Pexels

Christine Kesteloo has one big problem living on a cruise ship.

A lot of folks would love to trade lives with Christine Kesteloo. Her husband is the Chief Engineer on a cruise ship, so she gets to live on the boat pretty much for free as the “wife on board.” For Christine, life is a lot like living on a permanent vacation.

“I live on a cruise ship for half the year with my husband, and it's often as glamorous as it sounds,” she told Insider. “After all, I don't cook, clean, make my bed, do laundry or pay for food.“

Living an all-inclusive lifestyle seems like paradise, but it has some drawbacks. Having access to all-you-can-eat food all day long can really have an effect on one’s waistline. Kesteloo admits that living on a cruise ship takes a lot of self-discipline because the temptation is always right under her nose.

“One of the hardest things about living on a cruise ship is that I know right now, if I just leave my cabin, I can go and have cookies, pizza, a shake, I could have anything I wanted, and I want it, I absolutely want it,” she said in a TikTok video that received over 400,000 views.

@dutchworld_americangirl

The hardest part about living on a cruise ship is that I am surrounded by free food all of the time anything I want I just had lunch but it’s 2 o’clock in my body tells me it’s either cookie time or time for a hamburger. The hardest part is telling myself not to eat. #hardestpart #cruiseship #livingatsea #koningsdam #weliveonacruiseship #cruisefoodie #foodtok #itsaproblem #halcruises #hollandamericaline

“I am laying here. It is 2 pm. I had a salad for lunch, I had some fresh fruit, but that didn’t fill me up,” she continued. “Right now, all I can think about is eating a burger with some French fries and some mayonnaise.”

“And that, folks, is the absolute hardest part about living on a cruise ship,” she said. “I am surrounded by food all the time.”

She added, "The hardest part is telling myself not to eat.”

Kesteloo’s trouble is a common problem among people on cruise ships. A study by Admiral Travel Insurance found that over 60% of people who go on a week-long cruise anticipate gaining weight. Seventeen percent of people say they gain 2 to 3 pounds on a cruise, while 14% say they gain 4 to 5 pounds.

Other estimates show that the average cruiser will put on 5 to 10 pounds on a weeklong cruise. Imagine living on a cruise ship for half the year, like Kesteloo. She could quickly put on 100 pounds a year if she's not careful.

"I’d be huge if I lived there. I would feel like I’m on a constant vacation, and who diets on vacation?" Theresa Gramelsapcker-Wilson wrote in the comments.

"This is my main reason why I couldn’t do this HHAHAHAHAHAA," Cara Mia added.

"I never thought about those who actually live on a cruise ship. I would be 500 pounds," Lucky Penny2468 said.

Kesteloo’s battle with temptation shows that in every life, a little rain must fall. Nobody ever truly has it perfect. Kesteloo seems to be living the perfect life on board a cruise ship, but she still has to fight temptation every moment of the day or make good use of the ship’s gym facilities. But, obviously, having access to too much food is far better than having too little.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Education

Global robotics community FIRST prepares students to thrive as adults in a rapidly changing world

via FIRST

A FIRST mentor encourages a student.

True

There’s no shortage of companies, governments, and organizations around the world searching for talented workers with a deep knowledge of science, technology, engineering and math (STEM). The demand is providing a clear pathway to rewarding, world-changing, and well-paying STEM careers for many young people.

However, some students are missing these incredible opportunities because they haven’t envisioned themselves in STEM or encountered any mentors to show them a pathway for success.

FIRST is a global nonprofit that provides robotics-based programs and mentorship from adult volunteers such as educators and STEM professionals to students ages 4 to 18. FIRST is a mission-based robotics community that aims to get kids excited about STEM and allows them to build these talents, along with critical life skills such as communication and leadership, through team-based robotics competitions.

FIRST has a proven impact in guiding young people into STEM careers, all while having fun and making useful connections.

Teams of people huggingFIRST Championshipvia FIRST

Nearly 700,000 students and 320,000 adult mentors, coaches, judges, and volunteers participate in the nonprofit community year over year, and the transformational power of FIRST programs was featured in the 2022 Disney+ documentaryMore Than Robots. Students develop problem-solving skills and learn confidence, cooperation, empathy, and resilience—skills that will serve them well in their future careers.

Fazlul “Fuzz” Zubair, systems engineering department manager at Raytheon Technologies, an American multinational aerospace and defense conglomerate, mentors FIRST Team 4201, The Vitruvian Bots, in Los Angeles.

Zubair has hired 15 Raytheon Technologies employees from his FIRST team, creating a FIRST-to-work pipeline. Better yet, many of the new employees then give back to FIRST by mentoring their own teams. Zubair’s dedication to mentorship has created a cycle of positivity that continues to grow.

“Here, at FIRST, it’s a sport where everyone can go pro. They can come out of this program, and they can get a good-paying job and contribute positively to society and solve the tough problems that we have,” Zubair told Upworthy.

“Raytheon Technologies understands this, so it supports students in the program and its employees who mentor. Through FIRST, we’ve created a pipeline of people who already know how to collaborate with engineers and when they come into our companies, they have a head start,” Zubair continued.

Wireless communications innovator Qualcomm Incorporated is another multinational company that supports FIRST. It has been hiring FIRST students because of their advanced skill sets since 2006.

“They’re working on robots and learning things like coding and critical thinking, but they also have 21st-century skills like teamwork and the ability to collaborate with students that come from diverse backgrounds. Those are all things that are important in the workplace,” Natalie Dusi, corporate social responsibility manager at Qualcomm Incorporated, told Upworthy.

As employees, FIRST students join the workforce with experience and vital collaboration skills. “They roll up their sleeves and start innovating right away. When FIRST students come into Qualcomm Incorporated, they are confident,” she added.

Zubair says that FIRST students are valuable, in part because they understand that failure is part of learning and innovation.

“Learning through failure is something that’s really hard to teach,” he said. “You must go through that process. I like to tell my students all the time, ‘I’d rather you fail on this robot than a billion-dollar satellite. Learn now, fail often, fail early.’”

For FIRST CEO Chris Moore, the opportunity to gain confidence in STEM is an important and deeply personal issue. When he was in middle school, a teacher dissuaded him from pursuing a career in technology and he believes it had lasting, negative effects on his career. “Even now, as someone with decades of experience leading youth-serving organizations, this STEM inferiority complex has stuck with me, and at times I still doubt my own STEM competency,” he told Upworthy. “The reality is, STEM is achievable and rewarding for everyone, no matter their gender, age, race, economic standing orientation nor any other factor.”

Statistics point to a high demand for STEM workers and a short supply, especially in the United States and especially among women, underserved, and underrepresented groups. FIRST provides young people from any background with the skills they need to succeed in their STEM studies and future careers. Notably, FIRST reached more than 20,300 youth in underserved communities during its 2019 season.

FIRST students are twice as likely to express interest in a STEM career than their peers.

FIRST understands the value of inspiring all students and does so by providing innovation grants to teams from underserved communities and developing strategic alliances with the Society of Hispanic Professional Engineers (SHPE), National Society of Black Engineers and Girls, Inc. (NSBE), and other like-minded organizations.

One of the lasting impacts FIRST has on students is an understanding that no matter who they are or where they come from, they can solve the world’s most pressing issues.

The theme for the 2022–2023 season is energy. Students will explore the essential role that energy plays in keeping the world moving forward, the possibilities that different energy sources unlock, and how we can all realize a brighter future through innovative ideas in energy generation, efficiency, and use.

Cooperation, empathy, and resilience are skills that last a lifetime and it’s never too early for a child to enjoy their benefits. Learn more about FIRST programs in your area and how you can become involved!

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Education

You're probably not washing your bathroom towels often enough. Here's why.

That fresh and clean feeling might be getting muddied by dirty towels, and we don't even know it.

Photo credit: Canva

Towels might need a little more attention than we realize.

Bathrooms are weird, man. They’re where we go to get clean, and yet they are also breeding grounds for germs, bacteria and every other bit of grossness life has to offer. Seriously, why did we think putting showers and toilets in the same room was a good idea? Even the towels we use to dry off after a good scrubbing…how sanitary are those, really? Are we really washing them enough to prevent us from just rubbing dead skin cells, soap residue, yeasts, and other forms of gunk all over our freshly cleaned bodies?

Many, if not most of us probably throw our towels in the wash once a week. Which, assuming you’re showering daily, would mean after about seven uses. However, a good rule of thumb according to several scientists and laundry experts is to wash towels after every 3-4 uses. For those that only wash their towels once a month, or once a season, or even once a year…buckle up.

yellow and black cat showing tongue Photo by Juan Gomez on Unsplash

Why changing bath towels is important

Considering that our towels usually don’t show signs of contamination, this might seem like overkill. But what we aren’t seeing are the pathogens that get transferred onto the towel—by our skin, airborne fungi, and yes…bits of human waste…of the fecal sort. Here’s a kindly reminder to always put the seat lid down before flushing.

Interestingly enough, all of these invisible creepy crawlies create a microbial community that, according to a 2023 article in Scientific Reports, is unique from the ones that form on our clothes or bedsheets. And depending on what type of microbial community develops on them, dirty towels could put you at risk for contracting everything from athlete's foot to an eczema flare-up to pink eye or staph (MRSA), just to mention a few. Point being—it’s more than just potentially having a bathroom filled with smelly towels.

Other towel tips

Make sure your towel properly dries between uses

Even if you’re throwing the towel into the hamper to be cleaned, a good rule of thumb is to have it completely dry first in order to avoid funky odors. If your bathroom’s humidity lingers, it might be worth considering moving them to dry elsewhere.

Clean more often if…

…you’re dealing with sickness, a damaged skin barrier due to a rash or open cut, or shower multiple times a day.

pink and green plastic container Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

Wash towels the right way

Use a hot water setting and dry on high heat. Ideally, choose a detergent with enzymes to really break down the grime, and consider adding liquid bleach or laundry products with activated oxygen bleach. Obviously, if that doesn't agree with your skin, disregard. But perhaps vinegar is a gentler yet still effective substitute.

Consider skipping anything besides detergent and bleach

While things like fabric softener and scent beads give off a luxury feel, they can also form a lingering residue that only makes the towel more of a breeding ground for germs.

Don't forget to wash your washing machine

Yes, the very device used to remove the bio gunk from our fabrics can be spreading them when not properly sanitized. Every so often, run a cycle without clothes, using bleach or a special formula for cleaning washing machines.

Replace towel every 3 years, and choose wisely

One hundred percent linen towels are naturally moisture-wicking, meaning they dry much faster and are therefore less likely to breed bacteria between uses! But no matter which type of towel you go with, wash before use. Yes, it’s hard to say goodbye to that oh-so soft texture, but the chemicals used to create that texture aren’t always great for us anyway.

pile of cloth on white surface Photo by Mel Poole on Unsplash

What about other types of towels?

Some towels—like the ones we use for the gym or wiping down the kitchen—are exposed to even gnarlier environments, and require different protocols. Workout towels for instance, which basically get covered in sweat and then sit in a gym bag for hours, need to be cleaned after only one use.

Similarly, past research has found that dish towels house a substantial amount of coliform bacteria E. coli bacteria, which can lead to food poisoning. The fact that many of us simultaneously use a kitchen towel for wiping down surfaces, dishes, and our own hands, certainly doesn't help things. Luckily that same research also showed towels that were washed within three days had less E. coli than those that went more than four days without washing. So, wash kitchen towels at least as often as bath towels, but daily if you’re using them to wipe up spills. Also designate specific towels for specific purposes—one for drying dishes, one for hands, etc..

The bottom line

Of course, there might be environmental or financial reasons for not wanting to wash towels often. And many might continue on with their current laissez-faire routine and suffer no consequences. But this is a good reminder that the essential tools used in our everyday lives require some TLC to keep things running smoothly, and hygienically.

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