upworthy
More

This life-changing program pairs combat vets with horses. The results are amazing.

A woman stopped Christianna Capra at the Marine Ball. "Thank you for saving my husband's life," the stranger said, before giving her a big hug.

It wasn't the first time Capra had been thanked so profusely. It won't be the last.

As the co-founder of Spring Reins of Life, a New Jersey nonprofit focused on equine-assisted psychotherapy, she has helped more than 700 combat veterans, nearly 1,000 high-risk youth, and 100 kids grieving or dealing with trauma. But Capra takes little of the credit.

"The horses are the ones that do the work," she says. "I'm merely a conduit that allows them to do the work."

In the video below, veterans take part in Spring Reins of Life's "Operation Horse." Read on to discover how this life-changing program came to be.

Christianna "CC" Capra literally grew up a horse-person — well, almost.

"From about the age of 2 to about 6, I became a horse," Capra says with a laugh. "You had to feed me out of your hand and I wore one of my mother's hair pieces — as a tail. So that was kind of how it started."

She was obsessed. Capra found ways to be around horses as much as possible and she got her own at 11 years old. Soon after though, she had to give up horses when she moved to New York in high school. It would be nearly a decade before Capra would be back in the saddle. In 1997, her job in publicity helped her afford her "horse habit" again, and Capra purchased a horse that's still with her today.

But it was an offhand suggestion at the veterinarian's office that led Capra to her life's work.

Through one of her veterinarians, Capra learned about the Equine Assisted Growth and Learning Association (EAGALA). Founded in 1999, EAGALA is an international nonprofit association for professionals interested in using horses to address mental health needs.

"I read the website start to finish and I pulled out my wallet and my credit card that night and signed up for both trainings, sight unseen," she says. "I knew, beyond any shadow of a doubt, this was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. It was a cathartic moment."

Capra and Haines in the stables. All images via Upworthy/YouTube.

Capra trained as an EAGALA-certified equine facilitator and started her own nonprofit, Spring Reins of Life.

Spring Reins of Life offers equine-assisted psychotherapy for combat veterans with PTSD, children dealing with grief or emotional trauma, and kids in high-risk situations, such as teen violence and crime or substance abuse. Capra, together with licensed mental health professionals and the horses, works with individuals to talk (or not talk) through their grief, concerns, and fears. The group format session for veterans is dubbed "Operation Horse."

"We don't do a lot of talking," Capra says. "What we do is that if the horses start to bring up something, either if they express verbally or we see physically, we might ask some questions about that. 'So what's happening with this horse right now?' And then let [the veterans] project whatever they need to onto the horse and we can talk about it."

The unique thing about EAGALA-certified programs like Spring Reins is that there's actually no horseback-riding.

While Capra admits there is great value in therapeutic programs that offer riding, EAGALA programs are different in that they encourage individuals and horses to be on equal footing, untethered to one another.

"We work in an enclosed space, but the horses are loose. And the clients are loose too," she says. "We're all loose in this space; we call it our community."

Since 2012, Spring Reins of Life has helped around 700 veterans in the New Jersey area.

"Once we come home, the war's not really over. It's very tough to deal with a lot of the issues that we have," says Andrew Haines, an Army calvary scout. "Every time I leave [Spring Reins], my anxiety always goes down. I always feel more relaxed, more calm, more confident that I can do things."

Michael Otto Steiger, a Marine Corps Veteran, tends to a horse.

Though Capra has no military background, she'd heard of the troubling statistics surrounding the number of combat veterans living with PTSD and depression. The latest figures estimate 20 military veterans die by suicide each day. Capra knew she had to do something. Today, Spring Reins of Life is the first and only EAGALA approved military service provider in New Jersey.

Spring Reins has a contract with the Lyons campus of the local VA health care system. Veterans from their in-patient PTSD clinic come to Operation Horse once or twice during their 45- to 60-day stays. Homeless veterans from Lyons' domiciliary program, who reside for up to a year, visit Spring Reins even more. Now, local vets with PTSD have started coming to "open" sessions at Spring Reins to work with the facilitators and horses as often as they need to. The mental health professional assisting Capra with Operation Horse is Maria Katsamanis, a licensed psychologist and National Guard veteran. Everything is HIPPA compliant and sessions are not open to the public.

"Being out here, I don't feel like a person with PTSD," Michael Otto Steiger a U.S. Marine Corps veteran says. "I just feel ... average or normal."

But Capra may not be able to keep Spring Reins open and operating without a miracle.

Little by little, Capra has dedicated her life and everything in it to making Spring Reins of Life a reality. It hasn't been an easy journey.

"I went through my 401(k), then my savings, then I trashed my credit, then I sold my jewelry, and parts of my wardrobe that were worth any money, then I sold my horse's wardrobe, and my home in New York," she says. "It's a test of faith and those jumps you make when you're following your purpose."

Spring Reins needs to find a new facility by April 1. Finding a new place to call home may be a challenge as indoor and outdoor arenas, offices and meeting rooms, a pasture, stables, storage, restrooms, and possibly even living space are needed. Location is critical too.

"It took us four years to get a contract with the VA. We really do have to stay local," Capra says. "A radius of North Mercer County, North and East Hunterdon County, and Somerset County [New Jersey] — that puts me under an hour from Lyons."

For now, Capra prays and she works. She believes in the program, and like the veterans she serves, she's not going down without a fight.

"I believe in my heart there is the perfectly facility out there," she says.

Capra continues to search for it and is following every lead. She is optimistic that the perfect spot will come her way. But if she can't find one, and Spring Reins has to shutter indefinitely, her equine therapy work will continue in some capacity or another.

"Even if I had to close my doors, which I can't even fathom the idea of that, but even if I did; I would live the rest of my life with that purpose," Capra says. "We are saving lives right now. If that's one a month, or one a week, or one a year even, I think that's worth it."

Badge
Visit Sweden
Visit Sweden
Education

Sweden makes stunning decision to trademark its name to avoid confusion

The country is taking historic steps to fix the problem.

via Visit Sweden (used with permission)

A Swedish woman taking things into her own hands.

True

Sweden has existed for over 1,000 years, but travelers across the globe are confused because other places, inspired by the country’s untouched beauty and joyously inclusive culture, have taken its name.

Seven other places in the world call themselves Sweden, so to distinguish itself from the name-alikes, the Kingdom of Sweden is taking a bold, historic step that no country has before. It’s become the first to apply to trademark its name with the European Union Intellectual Property Office.

Visit Sweden likens the country’s problem to a luxury brand that has to contend with dupes, knockoffs, or bootlegs that fall short of the glory of the genuine article.

“It’s flattering that other places want to be called Sweden, but let’s be honest, there should only be one. Our Sweden. The one with the Northern Lights, endless forests, and the world’s best flat-pack furniture,” says Susanne Andersson, CEO at Visit Sweden.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

By trademarking its name, Sweden will make things much less confusing for travelers worldwide. It’d be a shame for someone looking to visit Sweden’s majestic Lapland to mistakenly wind up in a place with no reindeer, Aurora Borealis, or cloudberries to be found.

The world-class research team at Visit Sweden knew it had to act when it realized that other destinations with the same name had tripped up travelers. People looking to vacation in Portland, Oregon, have accidentally wound up in Portland, Maine. Travelers yearning to experience the fall in Manchester, New Hampshire, have been deplaning in Manchester, England. “It happens more than you think!” the researchers admitted.


sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation The Northern Lights in Sweden. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Jann Lipka/imagebank.sweden.se

The E.U. Intellectual Property Office must act swiftly and allow Sweden to trademark its name so that travelers worldwide don’t miss the opportunity to experience an utterly unique country known for its serene landscapes, commitment to deep relaxation and personal freedom.

No one should ever miss out on staying on one of Sweden’s 267,570 islands, more than any other country. The Swedish archipelagos offer luxurious glamping, peaceful hikes, tranquil solitude and awe-inspiring, pristine nature.

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation A woman camping in the Swedish archipelago.via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Anders Klapp/imagebank.sweden.se


Sweden is a beautiful place to visit all year round, with bright summers, colorful falls, vibrant springs and dark, crisp winters. It is also a place to delight your tastebuds with a cuisine centered on healthy, locally sourced produce, with some preparation methods dating back to the Viking era.

The original Sweden is a place where one can relish Old World European history while also enjoying the modern pleasures of the most progressive countries in the world. Travelers can be whisked back into history by visiting the Naval Port of Karlskona, a well-preserved European naval town from 1680. Or, enjoy cutting-edge design, delicacies, art, music and culture in hip metropolitan destinations such as Stockholm or Sweden’s “coolest city,” Gothenburg.

Did we mention Sweden has an ABBA museum? Wait till the other 7 Swedens find out about that.

As you can see, Sweden is an incredibly unique destination that cannot be duplicated. It would be a tragedy for anyone intending to visit the original Sweden to mistakenly find themselves in a name-alike place that lacks its Scandinavian charm. You can do your part to stop the confusion by signing a petition to let Sweden trademark Sweden at Visit Sweden (the original).

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation A Swedish Midsommar celebration. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Stefan Berg/Folio/imagebank.sweden.se

From Your Site Articles
Joy

A toddler kept tapping a woman's arm on a plane. Her response holds a lesson for us all.

"These are the types of people we need on airplanes."

@Cosmic-Chen/Reddit

What do you do when a little hand comes out of nowhere to feel your arm?

Being locked in a metal box with 150 random people all hurtling through the air at 30,000 feet is quite the social experiment, but one many of us do willingly in this age of air travel. One of the most notable parts of that experiment is that you never know who's going to sit near you on an airplane. Will you get the quiet reader? The Chatty Cathy? The cougher who doesn't cover their mouth? The sweet-but-over-perfumed old lady? The parent with a baby who screams from takeoff to landing?

Flying can feel like a game of roulette, especially when you find yourself sitting near one of the most unpredictable forces on Earth—a toddler. Tiny tots might can for the most delightful trip ever or the most annoying one, but as one couple demonstrates, the difference sometimes comes down to our own attitude.

A video shared on Reddit reads, "We were on the plane when this baby's hand kept reaching out and touching my arm from behind…" At first, we see a zoomed in shot of a woman's next to the window as a little hand reaches around the side of her seat and taps her on the back of the arm, repeatedly and enthusiastically. Then the camera pants to the woman's face and the face of the man with her, and their expressions say it all.

Clearly, the child is enjoying the feel of the woman's skin on the back of her arm. Tap tap tap, rub rub, squeeze, tap tap. No hesitation, zero sense of decorum, just a totally oblivious toddler sensory experience. A little annoying? Probably. Pure and wholesome and worthy of a laugh? Absolutely.

This woman could have asked the parent to stop their child from touching her (and she may have eventually). Not everyone finds small children cute and some people have sensory issues of their own that make such encounters more bothersome than it would be for others. But assuming the toddler arm massage was temporary and that the parents saw what was happening and stopped it, the reaction of the couple is a perfect example of finding the joy in life and rolling with the punches.

As the post reads, "Those small hands are a sign of absolute tenderness," and people are loving the immediate mirthful reaction the pair had to the wee one's curious little fingers.

"Nothing cuter than seeing a baby flailing their arms and slapping things because they are happy. They have no control. They just know they’re happy."

'The baby slaps 'yep this is good arm' tap tap."

"My grandma had the softest bat wings in the world. I used to love to touch them. I’m sure she was self conscious about it but I loved them lol."

"As a parent I would be horrified to discover my kid was doing this but so relieved that they were such good sports about it. These are the types of people we need on airplanes."

"Same, I’m always concerned how my kid behaves on a plane ride (and he freaking loves being on a plane) but I find most people to be such good sports around him. Love when it works out that way. Though I 10/10 would have snatched that hand away soon as I noticed 😂😂😂."

"The people laughing were so kind! I can imagine some people would lose it if a child did this but they just enjoyed it. 🥰"

"Seriously! Seeing the humor in everyday life says a lot about their temperament. They seem like great folks."

Some people shared their own stories of toddlers similarly pawing at perfect strangers. It's helpful to remember that these little ones have only been on the planet for a hot minute and they barely have anything figured out yet. The nuances of what and whom to touch and not to touch takes a while, as does having the impulse control to not just reach out and feel whatever looks soft or interesting in the moment.

"Oh my gosh, that reminded me of a time when my son was small, maybe 18 months? We were in line at a restaurant and he was toddling around my legs and holding on to my finger while I chatted with my sister and mom. I felt him let go, and looked down to see where he was off to. He was standing by a lady a couple of people ahead of me who was wearing fishnet tights. He was rubbing her leg with his tiny baby hands and looked just MESMERIZED. I, on the other hand, was absolutely mortified and grabbed him up, apologizing all over the place, but luckily she was very cool about it and was just laughing.

Little kids like to just touch stuff to learn more about the world around them, but parents need to be constantly paying attention so their kid doesn't accidentally harass someone!"

"A little kid of around that age did this to me at restaurant once- he walked up to me, rubbed my bare forearm, and then gave me that same mesmerized look and tapped me with his hand a couple times. I didn't think too much of it (was more puzzled/confused than anything), but his mom had to pick him up and apologized anyway. Kids are funny haha."

"Yes this is so adorable. The last time I took a flight with a kid sitting behind me he was kicking my seat for like two hours before I politely turned around and gave a look to his mother and said 'hey my little friend. I know this flight is long and you wanna get out of this seat but do you mind not kicking my seat anymore?' Then I gave him a piece of paper and some (like 5 out of my 50) colored pencils and asked him if he could make me a secret drawing and pass it to me quietly and I’d make him one. I’m an artist and I always carry watercolors and colored pencils and sketch books on flights. We ended up passing drawing back and forth for the rest of the remaining 5 hour flight. He didn’t kick my seat again… I suspect it was the poignant look I gave mom. But so he was engaged. Every 20 minutes or so I’d feel a little tap on my arm and a folded up little drawing would appear. I still have them in the pocket of a moleskin somewhere."

Here's to grownups joyfully embracing the reality of co-existing with small children, in all their curious, sensory-driven, hands-on glory.

From Your Site Articles
joy
Pop Culture

Village People singer tries to deny that ‘Y.M.C.A.’ is a gay anthem and fails spectacularly

So, you're saying it's the ultimate gay anthem, right?

via Mario Casciano/WikimediaCommons

The Village People in 1978.

“Y.M.C.A.,” the 1978 disco smash by the Village People, has recently experienced a renaissance. In November, it hit #1 on Billboard’s Dance/Digital Song Sales chart after being prominently featured in Donald Trump’s rallies since 2020. Trump's dance, where he pumps his fists back and forth to the song, has also become a popular celebration dance in the sports world.

“You know what gets ’em rockin? ‘Y.M.C.A.,’” Trump said on a podcast in 2022, according to NBC News. “‘Y.M.C.A.’ gets people up and it gets them moving.” However, many people have noted the irony that Trump and his conservative supporters have embraced the song, given its reputation for being a gay anthem.



Who are the Village People?

The song was written by the Village People’s lead singer, Victor Willis who is straight and producer Jacques Morali who is gay.

The Village People is a disco group of predominantly gay men who symbolize American masculinity and macho gay-fantasy personas. The band is fronted by Victor Willis, who played a police officer, with backing vocalists and dancers featuring a cowboy, construction worker, native American, leatherman, and GI.



The band was put together to appeal to a gay audience that loved disco music, but their mainstream success meant that some in the audience missed the gay references but still loved bopping to massive hits such as “Macho Man” and “In the Navy.” Trump and his supporters' embrace of the song have many wondering if the Village People effect was happening again. Are Trump supporters oblivious to the fact that “Y.M.C.A.” is known as a gay anthem, or is it just not a big deal to them? While Trump himself has generally been supportive of gay and lesbian individual (he was the first Republican to feature a gay speaker at a presidential convention in 2016) the Republican Party has long been opposed to LGBT rights.



Is 'Y.M.C.A.' a gay anthem?

On December 2, 2024, Willis made a bold proclamation on his Facebook page, denying that the song was a gay anthem while simultaneously illustrating its undeniably gay roots. “There’s been a lot of talk, especially of late, that Y.M.C.A. is somehow a gay anthem. As I’ve said numerous times in the past, that is a false assumption based on the fact that my writing partner was gay, and some (not all) of Village People were gay, and that the first Village People album was totally about gay life,” Willis wrote.

“This assumption is also based on the fact that the YMCA was apparently being used as some sort of gay hangout and since one of the writers was gay and some of the Village People are gay, the song must be a message to gay people. To that I say once again, get your minds out of the gutter. It is not,” he continued.



Randy Jones, who played the cowboy in the group, tells a different story when discussing the song's origins. In 2008, he claimed he took Morali to the McBurney YMCA on Manhattan’s West 23rd Street around four times in 1977 and the producer was “fascinated” by the place.

“Plus, with Jacques being gay, I had a lot of friends I worked out with who were in the adult film industry, and he was impressed by meeting people he had seen in the videos and magazines. Those visits with me planted a seed in him, and that’s how he got the idea for ‘Y.M.C.A,'” Jones said.

Willis refutes the idea that Morali gave him the idea for the song in his Facebook post. “As I stated on numerous occasions, I knew nothing about the Y being a hang out for gays when I wrote the lyrics to Y.M.C.A. and Jacques Morali (who was gay) never once stated such to me,” he wrote. “In fact, Jacques never once told me how to write my lyrics otherwise I would have said to him, you don’t need me, why don’t you simply write the lyrics.”



Although Willis wrote the song and has the right to determine what it’s about, he does a poor job of claiming it isn’t a gay anthem after admitting it was written in collaboration with a gay man for a predominantly gay group in a genre with a big gay audience and an album called "Cruisin'" about a place that was known for gay hookups.

That is a helluva coincidence, don't you think?

Donald Trump Head Nod GIFGiphy

Further, regardless of Willis’ intentions with the song, it has been embraced by the gay community as an anthem. An artist can control what he creates, but how the audience reacts is beyond their control. When a group of predominantly gay men sings about a “young man” who can find “everything for you men to enjoy” and “many ways to have a good time” as they “hang out with all the boys,” it’s impossible to divorce the words from the context.

That’s the beauty of music. A song can have multiple meanings depending on who is performing it. On the other hand, if a traditionally masculine singer such as Rod Stewert or James Brown had sung “Macho Man,” it would have meant something entirely different back in 1978.

It’s also worth noting that Trump was not Willis’ preferred candidate in the election and he found his use of the song in the past a “nuisance.” He also doesn’t mind “that gays think of the song as their anthem” but that it was meant to appeal to “people of all stripes.” That being said, Willis says that starting in January 2025, any news organization that “falsely” refers to “Y.M.C.A.” as a gay anthem will be sued.

From Your Site Articles
music
Education

Mom shares how her first grader's homework on the second day of school broke his spirit

"It's breaking their spirit and it robs them of what little fun and family time they have when they come home after a long day of school."

Photo credit: Cassi Nelson/Facebook

How much homework is too much homework?

Debates about homework are nothing new, but the ability of parents to find support for homework woes from thousands of other parents is a fairly recent phenomenon. A mom named Cassi Nelson shared a post about her first grader's homework and it quickly went viral. Nelson shared that her son had come home from his second day of school with four pages of homework, which she showed him tearfully working on at their kitchen counter.

"He already doesn’t get home from school until 4pm," she wrote. "Then he had to sit still for another hour plus to complete more work. I had to clear out the kitchen so he could focus. His little legs kept bouncing up and down, he was bursting with so much energy just wanting to go play. Then he broke my heart when he looked up at me with his big teary doe eyes and asked…. 'Mommy when you were little did you get distracted a lot too?!' Yes sweet baby, mommy sure did too! I don’t know how ppl expect little children to sit at school all day long and then ALSO come home to sit and do MORE work too…."

Nelson tells Upworthy that she was "shocked" that kindergarteners and first graders have homework, much less the amount they were expected to do. "We didn't have homework like this when we were in these younger grades."

Expert opinion and research is somewhat mixed on the homework front, but there isn't any conclusive evidence that homework is universally beneficial for students and too much homework can actually be harmful. As a standard, the National Education Association (NEA) and the National Parent Teacher Association (NPTA) support a limit on homework of “10 minutes of homework per grade level."

With that as a guide, a first grader shouldn't have more than 10 minutes of homework on any given school day, but it's not unusual for young kids to have two or three times the recommended limit of homework. That can be stressful for both kids and parents, cutting into valuable family time and limiting kids' time to decompress, play and freely engage in imaginative activity.

As Nelson concluded, "It’s breaking their spirit and it robs them of what little fun and family time they have when they come home after a long day of school."

Most parents and even most teachers in the comments agreed with her that four pages of homework is too much for a first grader, especially on only the second day of school:

"Poor little man. Children below a certain grade should not be given homework! Small children have a hard time sitting still for a long period of time yet alone expected to sit and do hours of homework, for what??? They are SMALL CHILDREN! Let them snack, play, laugh and all the other fun things when they get home. You are only a child once, they don't need that taken away from them. Let them embrace their inner creativity, imagination, recipes, etc."

"This breaks my spirit. Our schools are huge scams. You're exactly right Cassi. Homework is ridiculous. Kids til the age of 10 primarily learn through real life situations and play scenarios."

"I hate that for him! My little one has ADHD and doing homework after sitting in class all day is very stressful to him and makes him hate school. They are in school for 7 hours they shouldn’t have homework. That definitely takes away any kind of family time and that’s why kids never spend time with parents anymore because they have all this homework to do after being gone all day.I feel that if it can’t be done in the 7 hours they have the kids then it should wait until the next school day."

"I don’t make them do homework at home when they are that little. It’s not fair!They are at school allllll day! And it’s already sooooo much for their little bodies and brains! I’ve never had a teacher upset about it either.. and even if I did oh well!"

"That breaks my heart. 4 pages is absolutely ridiculous for young kids. My daughter is going into 2nd grade next month, the 2 years in school it was always 1 page of homework sometimes back and front if it was math. And to read."

This article originally appeared in August "I was in this boat with my son…conversation with the principal and teachers helped dramatically!! It’s too much and we have to advocate for them."

Nelson was blown away by the response to her post, which has been shared on Facebook over 89,000 times. "I NEVER thought me sharing my thoughts openly about how my heart hurt watching my little guy struggle would connect to so many others worldwide going through the same thing," she says.

Many parents shared that excessive homework is one of the reasons they decided to homeschool their children, which Nelson took to heart. The week after sharing her viral homework post, she shared that they had had their first day of homeschooling. It was "A HUGE SUCCESS!!!!" she wrote, with her son getting far more work done in a far shorter amount of time, sitting for classes for just 1 hour and 45 minutes total.

Nelson tells Upworthy she was totally intimidated to try homeschooling. "I seriously thought there was no way," she says. "But I knew I had to set my fear aside and just take the leap for my kids. I told myself I'd figure it out one way or another. And here we are three days in and it's been the easiest and best choice I've ever made."

Homeschooling is not going to the right solution for every family, however, so the question of homework remains an important issue for kids, parents, teachers and schools to work out.


This article originally appeared in August

From Your Site Articles
education
Community

52 percent of people won't answer the door for a stranger. A cop says that's a huge mistake.

Pretending you're not home isn't the best idea.

officerarsenault/TikTok & Paul Downey/Flickr

Ask anyone Millennial and younger what the scariest sound in the world is, and you'll get some interesting answers. Your phone buzzing with an actual, honest-to-God phone call would be one. Someone unexpectedly knocking on your door would be the other. For many of us, when we look out the window and see someone we don't recognize approaching our house, the instinct is to pretend we're not home.

Door-to-door salesmen and solicitors are still shockingly common, and the only thing worse than an unexpected knock from a stranger is that same stranger being a pushy and aggressive salesman who won't take No for an answer! So staying quiet and waiting for them to leave seems like a reasonable strategy to avoid anxiety and conflict.

A police officer on TikTok just issued a word of caution for us introverts who like to hide out from knocking strangers: "Don't do that."

Officer Randall Arsenault, a former policeman from Canada and a super popular TikTok creator, shared the warning in a recently reposted video.

"Somebody comes to your home during the day, knocks on the door, rings the doorbell, and you don't answer because you don't want to be bothered? Don't do that, OK?"

"Two minutes later, they kick in your door, it's a daytime break and enter, happens all the time. ... They get inside your house, they panic, not expect anybody to be there, bad things can happen."

It's sound advice. Most home intruders, believe it or not, aren't looking to hurt anyone and would rather avoid a potentially violent confrontation. They'd much prefer an easy chance to walk around and take what they want. So by pretending to not be home, you actually make yourself a perfect target.

@officerarsenault

WARNING! Extremely important message. #onthisday

Which... is a total bummer if you get knock-anxiety.

"Ugh this is an introverts worst fear. Having to interact with people when they don’t want to," wrote one commenter.

So what should you do instead?

"Yell through, wave them off through the window, act like you're on your cell phone already," Officer Arsenault says.

In other words, alert them to your presence in any way that you can! That doesn't mean you fling the door open and invite them in. But making noise or even speaking to them through the closed and locked door are good ideas. Some people who are home alone will even pretend to speak (loudly) with a spouse, partner, or friend who's not actually there. Call for your "dad" or "husband" to come over, and that's often enough to spook low-level burglars.

Chances are, the person knocking is just a salesman or doing some political canvassing. But handling those unexpected knocks the right way could be a legitimate lifesaver.

A recent survey by YouGov found that less than half of Americans are willing to answer the door when a stranger knocks. Over a third will ignore them, and another 17% aren't sure.

man's eye looking through peepholeMario Heller/Unsplash

The dividing lines among generations were fascinating in the study.

Less than 10% of Baby Boomers reported feeling afraid when receiving unexpected knocks (though they were high on annoyance, to no one's surprise — I'm pretty sure they invented the No Soliciting sign).

15% of Millennials said they felt afraid when someone knocked on the door, and over 20% of Gen Z said the same. Younger generations also reported much higher rates of feeling confused at IRL knocks.

On the plus side, younger generations also feel more excited when people knock on their doors. It's unique and novel, so there's an immediate sense of possibility that's always fun — a bit like getting actual mail in your mailbox that's not a bill or an advertisement.

You can point to the rise of social media and texting, plus the COVID-19 pandemic, as a big reason for a dropoff in in-person interactions. Millennials and Gen-Z are less comfortable with unexpected encounters because they're so much more rare. Our friends and family almost always call or text before they come over, so it makes sense that a random knock might give us a scare.

Officer Arsenault's safety advice is more pertinent than ever as the generations that hate answering the door become apartment-renters and homeowners.

Our anxiety at dealing with annoying solicitors and potential evil-doers is totally justified, but our usual coping method of ignoring isn't a good solution. Screening calls and sitting on texts is all well and good, but when it comes to our homes, we have to proudly announce our presence for our own safety!

From Your Site Articles
police

Pianist shares the surprise note he received from his neighbor with a very specific request

He thought it was going to be a noise complaint.

Photo credit: Canva, Reddit

More neighbors stories like this, please.

A pianist had been practicing in their apartment, when they noticed a handwritten note had been slipped under their door from a neighbor in the unit. Understandably, this person had fully anticipated being told to “knock it off,” “keep the noise down,” or some other version of a complaint. After all, isn’t that the only reason neighbors reach out to one another nowadays?

But much to their surprise, this note wasn’t a complaint at all. But merely a “humble request” for the pianist to play “Liebestraum No. 3 in A flat.” Pleasantly surprised, the pianist did just that, and it was met with a raucous applause coming from a balcony a few stories up.

The pianist was so taken aback by the “lovely” gesture that they shared it, along with the note, to folks online. Needless to say, they found it equally wholesome.


A humble request (:
byu/Toast_n_mustard inMadeMeSmile


“That makes my heart smile 😻,” one person commented on Reddit.

“Love this! We need more of this,” shared another.

Still another wrote, “I can imagine it so perfectly. The quiet little slide of the note, the pause of space waiting if the pianist will accept their request, the mystery of never knowing who either person is but connected by the love of music.”

A few others could recall a similar kind of fondness felt when hearing their neighbors play live music.

“I lived in an apartment complex that had a field next to it. One Sunday I got woken up by bagpipe music. Someone was standing in the field playing the best bagpipes I ever heard! By the time I got dressed to go out and watch he was gone,” one person wrote.

Meanwhile, another said, “One of my neighbors has a side business tuning instruments so I often hear him playing his piano or various string instruments (mostly violin), and it's really nice. Coming home from a crap day at work is easier when I can hear some nice music now and then.”

It was such a simple act on the neighbor’s part, and yet, it made such a profound and positive impact—not only on the pianist’s life, but the lives of those whole bore witness to the story. And it goes to show that while, yes, maybe playing excessively loud and thrashing music into the wee hours of the night isn’t going to go over well if you’re an apartment dweller, sharing something lovely might be a perfect way of uniting with folks you might have never otherwise spoken to.

And for those curious, “Liebestraum No. 3 in A flat” sounds a little something like this:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Yep. The only proper way to respond to hearing this in your apartment building is with enthusiastic clapping. They seriously got a classical music concert for free!

And remember—while we might more frequently hear stories of neighbors being annoyed with each other, or flat out never interacting at all, there are plenty of moments happening just like this one. Strangers coming together, connecting, and enjoying life.

From Your Site Articles
Trending Stories