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This Guy Just Won A Nobel Prize. He Has Something To Say About The USA That You Should Hear.

Robert Shiller just won the Nobel Prize in economics. This was actually filmed just a bit after the Great Recession began, but his words are so spot-on, it's like he could see into the future.

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Workonomics
Health

Motivation expert explains how two simple words can free you from taking things personally

You don't need to take responsibility for everything and everyone.

via TEDx SF/Flickr and TEDx SF/Flickr

Mel Robinson making a TED Talk.

Towards the end of The Beatles’ illustrious but brief career, Paul McCartney wrote “Let it Be,” a song about finding peace by letting events take their natural course. It was a sentiment that seemed to mirror the feeling of resignation the band had with its imminent demise.

The bittersweet song has had an appeal that has lasted generations and that may be because it reflects an essential psychological concept: the locus of control. “It’s about understanding where our influence ends and accepting that some things are beyond our control,” Jennifer Chappell Marsh, a marriage and family therapist, told The Huffington Post. “We can’t control others, so instead, we should focus on our own actions and responses.”

This idea of giving up control, or the illusion of it, when it does us no good, was perfectly distilled into 2 words that everyone can understand as the “Let Them” theory. Podcast host, author, motivational speaker and former lawyer Mel Robbins explained this theory perfectly in a vial Instagram video.

“I just heard about this thing called the ‘Let Them Theory,’ I freaking love this,” Robbins starts the video.

“If your friends are not inviting you out to brunch this weekend, let them. If the person that you're really attracted to is not interested in a commitment, let them. If your kids do not want to get up and go to that thing with you this week, let them.” Robbins says in the clip. “So much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations.”

“If they’re not showing up how you want them to show up, do not try to force them to change; let them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you. Just let them – and then you get to choose what you do next,” she continued.

The phrase is a great one to keep in your mental health tool kit because it’s a reminder that, for the most part, we can’t control other people. And if we can, is it worth wasting the emotional energy? Especially when we can allow people to behave as they wish and then we can react to them however we choose.

@melrobbins

Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the “Let Them Theory.” 💥 Listen now on the #melrobbinspodcast!! “The “Let Them Theory”: A Life Changing Mindset Hack That 15 Million People Can’t Stop Talking About” 🔗 in bio #melrobbins #letthemtheory #letgo #lettinggo #podcast #podcastepisode

How you respond to their behavior can significantly impact how they treat you in the future.

It’s also incredibly freeing to relieve yourself of the responsibility of changing people or feeling responsible for their actions. As the old Polish proverb goes, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

“Yes! It’s much like a concept propelled by the book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k.’ Save your energy and set your boundaries accordingly. It’s realizing that we only have “control” over ourselves and it’s so freeing,” 60DaysToLive2012 wrote.

“Let It Be” brought Paul McCartney solace as he dealt with losing his band in a very public breakup. The same state of mind can help all of us, whether it’s dealing with parents living in the past, friends who change and you don’t feel like you know them anymore, or someone who cuts you off in traffic because they’re in a huge rush to go who knows where.

The moment someone gets on your nerves and you feel a jolt of anxiety run up your back, take a big breath and say, “Let them.”


This article originally appeared last year.

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Love Stories

Men give real answers to what they find romantic when it comes to women. It's really sweet.

This is not what is portrayed in movies.

Photo credit: Canva

Men reveal what they find romantic in relationships with women

When we look at movies, they often portray men and women as completely different beings bumbling about trying to make it work. Even outside of film, listen to any podcast designed to inform women about what men want in a relationship and you'll hear something completely different. It can feel exhausting trying to sift through what's true and what's just stereotypical rhetoric wrapped up in a romantic bow.

It's not often that we get to hear directly from men who aren't attempting to sound a certain way in front of other guys, or tell women what they want to hear. When asked directly about what they consider romantic when it comes to their female partner, the simplicity of their answers may be surprising to some. The answers didn't involve any over-the-top gestures or anything related to sex.

It seems that the men who answered the question have been waiting for someone to ask so they can draw a map to their hearts. "When she laughs at my jokes, hugs me, and tells me how happy she is with a man who makes her laugh so much," one man starts off the endearing list.

gif of someone opening a note that says "I Love You'romance GIFGiphy

Some guys just want all the cuddles.

"I’m big into cuddles, but what I like is when somebody checks in on me. Not just “How are you?” but asking specific questions… especially if I’ve previously communicated something that was going on with me and they check back in about it. It seems so simple, but it’s such a rare thing these days," one guy says.

Take a moment to consider your fella.

One happy man shares in part, "When we’re apart, she’ll sometimes send me a photo of something most would find trivial but it was the thought of “this will make him smile!” and it does. She noticed my lips were a bit dry in the cold, so she bought me a stick of lip balm the next time I saw her. It didn’t cost much but it was because she cared about my health and well-being. When I think of it, it always makes me happy!"

gif of animated boy with heart eyesI Love You Hearts GIFGiphy

Another guy shares a similar sentiment: "Acts of service without being promted[sic]. People go out of their way to let me know I matter. I never expect it, so when I do, it gets me."

"Depending on the attraction I feel it could be almost anything considerate, even just wanting a hug," one person admits, while another agrees with him. "Ayep. I've always been treated as disposable, and judged solely on what I can provide to others. That's just how it is, and won't change. I don't need poems, or trinkets, etc. Just show any amount of consideration for me as a person."

Guys love a handwritten love letter

One man says, "I'm in an LDR (long-distance relationship). Every time she is here, she leaves little handwritten notes all over the place. Most are one-liners with little declarations of love, silly comments and the like, for me to find as time goes by while she's away. I have found myself crying like a baby several times when I found these on hard days. For the most part they make me happy for at least the rest of the day, though. Started collecting them as well as tickets for activities we've done together and other scraps in a little booklet."

gif of animated love letterI Love You Hearts GIF by DIVE INN - Die InnovationsagenturGiphy

Men like flowers too, so find out his favorite and surprise him.

"My girlfriend bought me flowers and I felt like the most special man in the world! It was never something I consciously wanted (after all, flowers are for women, right?) but it was such a sweet gesture. She said most men receive flowers for the first time at their funeral and she wanted to change that for me. I now encourage every woman to do this!"

"Also, like others have said, we tend to receive fewer compliments, gestures, etc., so basically any little show of affection or love can be so meaningful to men," one man reminds women.

gif of man receiving flowersFlower Love GIF by TechSmithGiphy

Someone else adds, "I once had a girl buy me flowers for Valentine's Day and it melted my heart. We only went out a few times but I still think about it. I love little romantic gestures like that."

It doesn't have to be complicated to make a guy feel romanced. No need for a new car wrapped in a bow or an elaborate date. Seems like most guys just want the same things most women want: to feel seen, appreciated, considered, and desired. Nothing says romance like knowing your partner doesn't just love you, but they also like you and actually want to be in your presence.

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Culture

A guy definitively listed the 12 things that make men happy and it's 100% accurate

Guys literally only want one thing and it's a cool stick.

Nolan Reid / TikTok

There's an old joke slash meme that goes something like this: "Guys literally only want one thing and it's disgusting." Its used to imply, obviously, that men are shallow and crude creatures. TikTok creator and simple-life advocate Nolan Reid, however, has a different idea of what men really want.

Nolan recently made a video about "Little things in life that make men happy."

The hilarious list includes:

  • A fridge full of beer.
  • Drinking said beer in the garage. With your dog. And a good buddy.
  • Finding a cool stick.
  • Kicking a rock.
  • Staring at water.
  • Dropping rocks into said water.

As a fellow man, I would say: Yeah. That pretty much covers it.

It really doesn't take much! Watch Nolan's full video to see the rest, and just appreciate how much joy and satisfaction he gets from these simple thing.



@nolanreid7 A few of many #littlethings #muzzymade ♬ It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over - Lenny Kravitz


People loved Nolan's list – so much so that they began adding their own ideas of "simple things men love."

The video racked up hundreds of thousands of views across TikTok and Instagram.

One commenter wrote, "He just described my whole personality." Another added, "This guy gets it."

Others chimed in with their own additions to the list, like staring at a fire for hours. Or just peace and quiet.

But most of the nearly 200 comments were just people chiming in to say one thing:

"Hell yeah."

Finally, someone who understands us.

Nolan's ultra-relaxed vision of "masculinity" is honestly so refreshing.

Men on social media are usually bombarded with the Andrew Tates and Jordan Petersons of the world, influencers who constantly berate us to make more money, lose weight and add muscle, sleep with more women, take charge, relentlessly self-improve.

I like Nolan's much chiller idea of masculinity. It reminds me of being a kid, taking pleasure in the simple things, not racing to be anywhere, not trying to impress anyone or prove anything.

Nolan's entire account is a breath of fresh air, an antidote to hustle culture. His videos find joy in:

  • Breaking down cardboard boxes
  • Driving at sunset
  • Going fishing
  • Throwing a frisbee
  • Wearing t-shirts
A daily visit to his page is almost like a meditation. I highly recommend giving him a follow to add a little counterprogramming to your social media feed.

Nolan says in another recent video that he started making TikToks and Instagram reels just for fun, but discovered along the way that he was really passionate about the message.

"I never thought that my simple living and love for little things would resonate with so many of you."

He said he hopes to inspire people to "take a step back and enjoy the good simple things in life."

I suddenly have the urge to go chuck a rock into a river, so I would say: Mission Accomplished!

This article originally appeared last year.

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Pop Culture

Watch people make intense electronic music from, yes, barcode scanners

No cash registers required.

Photo credit: Canva

Some forward-thinking artists are making electronic music with, yes, barcode scanners.

You can make music from just about anything. When my youthful exuberance was at its highest and my net worth at its lowest, I once made a beat by recording myself slamming doors and punching tables.

My experiments, admittedly, didn’t sound great. But some forward-thinking musicians have built an entire art form by seeking sounds in unusual places—and in the case of Electronics Fantasticos!, a Japanese project centered around Ei Wada, by transforming "outdated electrical appliances into new electronic instruments." In an incredible viral YouTube video, they demonstrate their most famous piece of gear: the Barcoder, a barcode scanner that generates sound not through a cash register but by "connecting scan-signals of a barcode scanner to a powered speaker directly."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

In the clip, two "barcodists," Wada and Akira Ataka, appear to be set up in a makeshift performance space, where each scan various blocks of black-and-white patterns. When arranged rhythmically, the synthesizer-like sounds they produce—low, pulsating grunts and high-pitched squeals—wind up resembling intense electronic music. (Bonus points for scanning their own striped shirts, which look like referee outfits.)

The YouTube comments are outstanding. One person (accurately) joked, "This is like the 1990s’ prediction of what 2020s music would be," and someone else chimed in, "When you lost your job as a DJ and ended up becoming a cashier." Also, props to the viewer who suggested they "just need a zebra to complete the band."

Electronics Fantasticos! have filmed a lot of Barcoder demonstrations, and they even took it to another level with the Barcodress. In this experiment, a dancer wears a dress "on which signals are engraved as striped patterns," and sound waves are created as the Barcoder scans their movements. They describe it as an artistic expression "where clothes, dance, and music playing become one." They continue, "It’s just like a dress serves as a record, dance as a turntable, a player as a record player needle, and expands the record and play mechanism to a physical expression. We explore possibility of 'Electromagnetic Dance!'" Mind-bending stuff.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The project includes many bizarre instruments beyond the Barcoder. Take the "Hoovahorn, Tofoovahorn, and Vacuumonica," which vibrate reeds "by suction of a vacuum cleaner." There’s also the CRT-TV drums, which "produce sound when a player catches static electricity emitted from CRT-TV screens with bare hands and sends the electric signal to a guitar amplifier through a coil attached to the leg of a player." Other staples include the "Factory Fan Bass," "A/C Harp," and "Electric Fan Harp."

Wada has grown Electronics Fantasticos! into a larger community, establishing six activity bases throughout Japan and creating a "worldwide lab on the Internet" with nearly 100 members. They held the Electro-Magnetic Bon-Dance Festival in 2017 and, two years later, formed a multinational band to perform at Austria's Ars Electronica Festival.

If you're interested in supporting other creative people who make unusual instruments, check out YouTuber Burls Art, who’s built guitars out of 800 pieces of paper, 14 skateboards, 700 sheets of newspaper, 1,600 RadioShack dollar coins, 50 pounds of copper wire, and 1,000 melted cans.

Talk about alternative electronic music!

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Education

8 classes that should be required for all students before they hit adulthood

If we want to prepare kids for adult life, we've got some glaring gaps to fill.

Photo by Sam Balye on Unsplash

Why aren't we teaching students the things they really need to know as adults?

I remember sitting in advanced algebra and trigonometry class in high school wondering if I was really ever going to use any of what I was learning. Math at that level meant nothing to me in a practical sense. I planned to study English and education to become an English teacher, so I couldn't imagine why I'd need to learn the ins and outs of trig.

As it turned out, some of what I learned came in handy in the functions class I was required to take to fulfill my math requirement in college. But again, I found myself sitting in class with zero idea of why I was learning this level of math and suspecting that I was never going to actually use that knowledge in my adult life.

Now I'm a middle-aged adult and I can say with absolute certainty that I was right. In 27 years, I have not used anything I learned in functions. Not once. Not even a little bit. I agonized my way through that class to eek out a B-minus and to promptly forget everything I'd learned because it was utterly useless to me.

To be clear, higher math isn't useless—it's amazing. It was just completely useless to me.

You know what would have been useful? Learning about financing a car or a mortgage or understanding how and why and where to invest money. In all that time I was doing trigonometric proofs and calculating polynomial functions, I could have been learning all the various real-life math-related decisions I'd have to make as an adult.

I see the same thing happening with my kids in high school and college. It totally makes sense for students who are interested in going into math and science fields to take math beyond basic algebra and geometry, but for those who aren't—why bother? There are so many more valuable things for them to take the time to learn—things that every single person really needs a basic knowledge of, such as:

Basic Psychology/Mental Health Maintenance

Every one of us has a brain and mental health is an issue for a huge percentage of people. According to the World Health Organization, 1 in 4 people globally will be affected by a mental health disorder at some point in their lives. Even those of us who don't struggle with mental illness benefit from learning about how our minds work, gaining strategies for managing our thoughts, emotions and behaviors, and understanding why people do the things they do.

How many people would have been saved by learning how to spot a narcissist before getting into a relationship with one? How many people could mitigate an anxiety spiral right when it starts because they learned to recognize the signs earlier? How many people would appreciate the support and understanding of everyone having a basic understanding of their mental health disorders?

Basic Sociology/Human Behavior

Similarly, every one of us lives in a society. Understanding social connections, relationships, and group behavior might just come in handy. If we don't understand the causes and consequences of human behavior, we're going to be confused by society at best and allow or enable atrocities to occur at worst.

From learning how cults and conspiracy theories work to recognizing how our prejudices can blind us to reality, sociology has useful knowledge we all need to internalize.

Media Literacy

If we're going to be bombarded with media 24/7, we'd better know how to process it. Understanding how journalism works, what makes a source credible, how information can be skewed and how to recognize misinformation and disinformation is vital. What is bias and how can it be mitigated? How can we recognize when an outlet values accuracy?

So many of the problems the U.S. is facing currently are due to people watching or listening to dubious news sources. Mandatory media literacy courses would (hopefully) go a long way toward changing that.

The Stock Market and Other Investments

I underestimated how much I'd need to know about the stock market when I was younger. None of that economic stuff interested me, but I wish I understood it better now.

But really, it's investing in general that we need to understand more about when we're younger, especially since starting young is the No. 1 best advice any financial advisor will give you.

How Banking, Credit, and Credit Cards Work

Every single one of us uses a bank or credit union and credit is a huge part of adult life. And yet, most people I know have had to piece together how credit and credit cards actually work through advice from friends and family and good old trial and error, sometimes with devastating consequences.

Taxes

Good gracious, right? Not just how to do taxes, but what taxes get used for.

Financial literacy is what I'm saying. We need mandatory financial literacy classes. (In 2022, Florida became the first state to require personal finance education to graduate, so yay Florida.) I think I was required to take economics in high school, but it was much more high-level economic theory than personal finance. We need personal finance first, then the bigger picture.

First Aid/Safety/Self-Defense

Most of us probably got some first aid and/or CPR training in health class, but how comprehensive was it? Did it include infant CPR? Do we know how to recognize if someone is having a stroke? Signs of infection?

What about basic everyday safety, like why you shouldn't leave a car running in a garage or common household fire dangers or how to spot asbestos?

Self-defense seems like a no-brainer. Basically, a "How to Stay Alive and Keep Others Alive" course that includes most everything you need to know to protect yourself and your loved ones on a daily basis.

Navigating our Healthcare and Health Insurance System

Ugh. I've been an adult for almost three decades and everything about our healthcare system confuses and frustrates me. Maybe if we required schools to teach young people how it works, it would shine a big spotlight on how ridiculously and unnecessarily complicated it is because no one could possibly explain it in a way that's understandable. Maybe that would push lawmakers to actually do something about it, because honestly, it's just a gigantic mess.

There are surely others, but those are the major subjects that come to mind as vital after being an adult for a long while and seeing what my own kids need to have a decent grasp on as they make their way into the world. And honestly, there are some classes that adults should be required to take well into adulthood. Parenting classes, for example. Or local government and voting.

All subjects and courses have value to some people, but if we want students to be prepared for adulthood, we should make sure they are given the vital knowledge and skills every person actually needs and will use.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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