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This viral TED Talk about being a 'real man' still holds up today

It's still a struggle to go from not being "man enough" to knowing that you are enough.

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Warner Bros Pictures/Youtube, TED/Youtube

You are KENough

If you haven't heard actor Justin Baldoni's name, you at least probably recognize him.

Best known for his role as Rafael on "Jane the Virgin," Baldoni is the epitome of Hollywood's "tall, dark, and handsome" stereotype. He is every bad boy with a sinister past. Every womanizing billionaire. Every domineering playboy.

In a talk at TEDWomen 2017, Baldoni joked about the string of characters he's been typecast as (most of them appear shirtless a good majority of the time).

"Most of the men I play ooze machismo, charisma, and power," he said. "And when I look in the mirror, that's just not how I see myself."

Baldoni came to realize that it wasn't just on-screen that he was pretending. In his everyday life, he found himself trying to conform to society's masculine ideal as well, and it all felt like a lie.

"I've been pretending to be strong when I felt weak. Confident when I felt insecure. And tough when really I was hurting," he explained.

The past few years have been a journey for Baldoni, who has set out to redefine for himself what "being a man" is really all about. In his TED Talk, he shared three major realizations he had along the way.

1. "Real men" make themselves vulnerable — not just with women, but with other men too.

Baldoni's early attempts at being more open about his emotions publicly on social media went great — until he realized almost all of his followers were women. Opening up to his fellow men was another challenge altogether.

"If it's about work or sports or politics or women, [men] have no problem sharing our opinions," he observed. "But if it's about our insecurities, our struggles, our fear of failure, it's almost like we become paralyzed."

He recalled recently wanting to talk to his guy friends about a serious issue in his life and needing almost the entirety of a three-day guys trip to work up the courage to do it. Once he did, however, he found many of his buddies were eager to share with him, too.

"My display of vulnerability can, in some cases, give other men permission to do the same," he realized.

(If only there were a TEDMen Baldoni could have given this talk at.)

2. "Real men" hold other men, and themselves, accountable.

As he began to engage more with other men, Baldoni started to become even more aware of toxic male behavior around him. It was everywhere.

He recalls an Instagram comment someone left on a photo of him and his wife. The random male commenter called the photo "gay shit."

So Baldoni decided to message him.

"I said, very politely, 'I'm just curious, because I'm on an exploration of masculinity, and I wanted to know why my love for my wife qualified as gay shit,'" he remembered.

To his surprise, the man responded thoughtfully about how his own displays of affection had been mocked as a child, and he apologized for lashing out.

"Secretly he was waiting for permission to express himself," Baldoni said. "And all he needed was another man holding him accountable and creating a safe place for him to feel. The transformation was instant."

3. "Real men" embrace the good aspects of traditional masculinity — with a twist.

Not everything traditionally associated with manliness is bad. Strength, bravery, and confidence are great things to aspire to (regardless of one's gender). But Baldoni urges men to think deeply about what those qualities really mean in practice and whether, perhaps, there's not a different way to think about spending their energy trying to achieve them.

"Are you brave enough ... to be vulnerable?" he asked. "Are you strong enough to be sensitive? ... Are you confident enough to listen to the women in your life? ... Will you be man enough to stand up to other men when you hear 'locker room talk'?"

Near the end of his talk, Baldoni acknowledges an important point: As bad as the "performance of masculinity" is for men, these rigid gender roles can be far worse for women.

He bemoaned that there wasn't even enough time to get into issues like the gender pay gap, division of household labor, and violence against women — all issues created and upheld by the toxic male behavior Baldoni's fighting against.

"The deeper we get into this, the uglier it gets," he said.

He challenged the men watching and listening to demand better of themselves and those around them.

"If we want to be part of the solution, words are no longer enough," Baldoni said.

This article originally appeared on 12.08.17

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She fell in love with endangered porpoises at age 7. Now, she's on a mission to save the ocean.

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When Rachel Heimke was seven, she realized what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. Little did she know a $40,000 BigFuture Scholarship would help her pursue her dreams.

Heimke and her parents were living an unconventional lifestyle, to say the least. The summer after she completed first grade, she and her parents boarded a sailboat and sailed from their hometown in Alaska down the Pacific Coast. The family would spend the next two years traveling on the water, passing Mexico and then sailing across the world to Australia before returning home. It was on the sailboat, watching whales and dolphins breach the water under their boat, that Heimke realized her life’s purpose.

“I was really obsessed with these little porpoises called Vaquitta, who only live in one tiny area of water off the coast of Mexico,” she recalled. “When I learned about them as a kid, there were only 22 left in the wild. Now, there are only ten.” Despite her interest, Heimke was never able to actually see any Vaquitta on her trip, both because of their inherent shyness and because they were so critically endangered due to detrimental fishing policies in the area. “That was my wakeup call,” she says. “I’ll probably never be able to see this porpoise, and I don’t want that to be true of other species.”

Now a young woman of 23, Heimke is realizing her childhood dream of ocean conservation by recently graduating with a Bachelor’s degree in ocean sciences and enrolling in a grad program in Canada to study science communication. Heimke is well on her way to achieving her childhood dream—but she acknowledges that none of this would have been possible without her ocean adventures as a child, the support of her parents, and significant financial support.

At 18, when Heimke was deciding where to study ocean sciences, she stumbled upon an opportunity from BigFuture, College Board's free college and career planning site. The opportunity was the BigFuture Scholarship, which provided students the chance to win a $40,000 scholarship by completing six action items on the website. Heimke was intrigued, since she didn’t need to provide an essay, her GPA, or any test scores to enter. Her eligibility was also not tied to citizenship status or family income, so she decided to give it a shot.

“One of the action items was just going on the BigFuture site and creating a list of colleges I was interested in,” said Heimke. Another item required her to apply for financial aid through FAFSA—something Heimke was planning to do anyway. Every completed action item gave students more chances to win the scholarship, so Heimke completed all six action items quickly.

Months later, Heimke’s parents ushered her over to a call over Zoom, where she met a BigFuture representative who had some surprising news: She was one of 25 students who had won the $40,000 BigFuture college scholarship. Each year she would receive $10,000 in scholarship funding, which would cover her entire tuition bill for all four years of schooling.

“That experience taught me that it’s really important to not give up on your goals and just go for opportunities,” said Heimke. “I never thought I would win anything, but I’ve learned it's worth applying anyway. Even a small scholarship of $1,000 can pay your rent for a month,” she said. “And If you write an essay that takes an hour and you win $5,000, that’s probably the most money per hour you’ll ever make in your life.”

The tuition money made it possible for her to attend college, and for her to apply to graduate school immediately afterward without any financial burdens.

“Now that I’m in graduate school and paying for rent and a phone bill and graduate school tuition, it’s truly a blessing to not have student loan debt on top of that,” Heimke said. Because of the BigFuture scholarship, Heimke doesn’t need to pay for her graduate program either—she’s able to fund her education with the money her parents saved by not having to pay for her undergraduate degree.

One of the biggest blessings, Heimke said, was not needing to delay graduate school to work or find extra funds. With climate change worsening, entering the workforce becomes increasingly important over time.

“I’m not sure exactly what I’ll do with my degrees, but I hope to have a lot of different jobs that ultimately will work toward saving our ocean,” she said.

As a child, witnessing marine life up close and personal was life-changing. Heimke’s goal is for future generations to have that experience, as she did.

To learn more and get started, visit bigfuture.org/scholarships.

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Comedian responds perfectly after Olympic breakdancer 'Raygun' shuts down her parody musical

The Olympic breakdancer threatened legal action but the comedian is getting the last laugh.

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Olympic breakdancer gets musical canceled, comedian responds

Do you remember that one time breakdancing was an Olympic sport? It was short lived so if you blinked during the 2024 Paris Olympics you might have missed it. But even if you didn't see the Olympics at all, there was no escaping seeing Rachael Gunn, an Australian breakdancer that goes by the name Raygun. The breakdancer went mega viral for her interesting choices during her dance battle on the world stage.

Clips from her big moment where she did the now infamous kangaroo hop and pushed herself in a circle on the floor circulated the internet. Not only did the Aussie accidentally become a meme but she was impersonated on The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon. The backlash was so overwhelming from people around the world that Gunn issued an apology to the breakdancing community in Australia.

While mocking someone's abilities is considered bad form, people still find the dance moves Gunn performed at the Olympics to be amusing. This has lead to other people impersonating the dancer and one of them is a fellow Aussie, comedian Steph Broadbridge. The woman wrote "Raygun: The Musical" and was set to perform the one woman show for $10 per ticket at a local Australian venue until the breakdancer caught wind of it.

Paris Breaking GIF by NoireSTEMinistGiphy

It was then that Broadbridge found her comedic musical facing legal notice from Gunn barring her from performing her show. The letter came at an inopportune time as she was already in dress rehearsal having sold tickets to see the musical. Typically celebrities don't legally object to smaller artists poking fun at them in an impersonation, even if they're not happy about it. But Gunn may not see herself in a celebrity light which may help explain the unexpected reaction.

Broadbridge could've gotten upset or went on with the show forcing Raygun to sue, instead she decided to poke fun at the entire situation with a little dry humor. In a video on her Instagram page, Broadbridge announces the unfortunate news to her fans.

Olympics Breaking GIF by NoireSTEMinistGiphy

"I'm comedian Steph Broadbridge just hanging out in my casual day wear," the woman says as she's clearly wearing the same outfit the Olympic breakdancer wore during her dance battle. "My trail show tonight for 'Raygun: The Musical' has been canceled. Raygun's lawyers got in touch with the venue and threatened legal action so we will be refunding everyone their $10 back for that."

Obviously, Broadbridge was not putting on a full length high budget Broadway musical but that didn't stop the breakdancer from putting a halt to it. The comedian shares a surprising revelation in her announcement saying, "her lawyers trademarked my poster which is flattering, I hope they have fun with that. And they're also worried that I was damaging her brand, which I would never do. She doesn't need me to do that."


The entire video is done in deadpan which made it made the one liners pack a little more of a punch, especially when she reveals that she was told she wasn't permitted to hop like a kangaroo.

"They also said I wasn't allowed to do the dance because she owns the kangaroo dance, that one did puzzle me, I mean that's an Olympic level dance. How would I possibly be able to do that without any formal breakdance training," Broadbridge asks.

The comedian's fans were supportive of Broadbridge but were a bit miffed about Gunn putting a halt to the show with one writing, "I heard that the proceeds from the tickets sold for this were going to charity to help women and children facing homelessness. It makes it even worse that Raygun and her lawyers would still pursue this."


Another person encourages the comedian saying, "This will be amazing publicity. Just need to get it to all the news outlets."

Someone else chimes in, "Steph, this is Olympic level PR parody. How did you do this without any formal training?"

If you want to see the musical, don't worry. Broadbridge doesn't sound like she's giving up anytime soon. The Australian is planning to get around the complaint by changing the name of the main character to "Raigun" so there's no confusion. And while the letter from the breakdancers lawyers say Gunn owns the kangaroo dance, that may be something that is challenged by a court of kangaroos...a kangaroo court if you will–pun intended.

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Finally, we know how the parents from 'Home Alone' were able to afford that lavish house

Putting an age old internet debate to rest once and for all.

Credit: Wiki Fandom

No, it was not through organized crime.

It’s a question that’s plagued us since November 10th, 1990: how the heck did the parents from Home Alone afford their massive, luxurious house nestled in the picturesque suburbs of Chicago? (Not to mention a Christmas vacation to Paris for nine people) Seriously, what impressive job title could Kate and Peter McCallister possibly have to make all this happen? In a recession, no less.

There have been several memes dedicated to this headscratcher, along with a few theories—including one arguing that Peter McCallister must have been involved in organized crime—but finally, we now have a definitive answer.

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While appearing on a recent episode of The Hollywood Reporter’s Awards Chatter podcast, prolific filmmaker Chris Columbus (who directed both Home Alone and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York) revealed what Kevin’s parents did for a living.

“Back then, [screenwriter] John [Hughes] and I had a conversation about it, and we decided on what the jobs were,” Columbus shared.

Kate, everyone’s favorite neglectful mom, made iconic by Catherine O’Hara, “was a very successful fashion designer." In fact, we see clues to her profession in the film, when Kevin places mannequins in the windows to trick the Wet Bandits into thinking there was a holiday party afoot.

Filmmakers weaving hints into the story via set design, color scheme, costume choices, etc., otherwise known as “Easter eggs,” is a storytelling technique that’s been around since the art form began, essentially. But it’s a concept that’s taken on a life of its own with the introduction of social media. After all, there are entire Youtube channels dedicated to finding and breaking down these hidden clues mere days after a show or movie’s release—especially with comic books or fantasy series, which are franchises with a ton of lore to excavate.

Corporations that churn out these pop culture behemoths, like Disney, have undoubtedly caught on to this, and infuse Easter eggs into a lot of their movies, hoping to make bank off of the intrigue it incites. Does actual substance get sacrificed for this marketing ploy? Sure. But is it effective? Often, yes.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Point being: perhaps if Home Alone had premiered today, in the digital age, we might have never wondered so much about the McAllister’s jobs in the first place.

As for the late great John Heard’s Peter—Columbus’ memory is a little foggy. “The father could have, based on John Hughes’ own experience, worked in advertising, but I don’t remember what the father did,” he told THR. Still, we can definitely put one fan theory to rest, as Columbus said Peter’s income did NOT come from “organized crime, even though there was, at the time, a lot of organized crime in Chicago.”

While that settles one quandary involving this legendary house, since it was recently sold for around $5 million, we are left once again wondering who might possibly be able to afford living there…and if their place of employment is currently hiring.

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Again, living in the age of Google, it’s easy to find at-length breakdowns behind virtually every piece of modern day pop culture out there. Whether you’re hunting down origin stories to alternative endings to meanings behind obscure references, the answers are fairly easy to find. Which is what makes these little reveals about older pop culture mainstays so satisfying. Often they come after years of dedicated fans relentlessly asking questions.

Take for instance the ultra viral “mystery song” that played during an episode of The X-Files, which took a whopping 25 years to solve, and involved hunting down the original call sheet that listed every person who participated in said episode. That simply would not happen with a show today. Not likely, anyway.

Just saying, when thought is carefully put into it, a story becomes enduring. That’s the reason why we are still captivated by these shows even years after.

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Woman's rare antique turned away from 'Antique Roadshow' for beautiful heart-wrenching reason

"I just love you for bringing it in and thank you so much for making me so sad."

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Woman's antique turned away from 'Antique Roadshow'

People come by things in all sorts of ways. Sometimes you find something while at a garage sale and sometimes it's because a family member passed away and it was left to them. After coming into possession of the item, the owner may be tempted to see how much it's worth so it can be documented for insurance purposes or sold.

On a recent episode of BBC One's Antique Roadshow, a woman brought an ivory bracelet to be appraised. Interestingly enough, the expert didn't meet this rare find with excitement, but appeared somber. The antique expert, Ronnie Archer-Morgan carefully explains the purpose of the bracelet in what appears to be a tense emotional exchange.

There would be no appraisal of this antique ivory bracelet adorned with beautiful script around the circumference. Archer-Morgan gives a brief disclaimer that he and the Antique Roadshow disapprove of the trade of ivory, though that was not his reason for refusing the ivory bangle.

"This ivory bangle here is not about trading in ivory, it’s about trading in human life, and it’s probably one of the most difficult things that I’ve ever had to talk about. But talk about it we must," Archer-Morgan says.

Turns out the woman had no idea what she had in her possession as she purchased it from an estate sale over 30 years before. One of the elderly residents she cared for passed away and the woman found the ivory bracelet among the things being sold. Finding the bangle particularly intriguing with the fancy inscription around it, she decided to purchase the unique piece of jewelry.

After explaining that his great-grandmother was once enslaved in Nova Scotia, Canada before being returned to Sierra Leone, Archer-Morgan concluded he could not price the item.

"I just don’t want to value it. I do not want to put a price on something that signifies such an awful business. But the value is in the lessons that this can tell people," he tells the woman.

In the end the woman leaves without knowing the monetary value of the item but with a wealth of knowledge she didn't have before visiting. Now she can continue to share the significance of the antique with others. Watch the full explanation below.

This article originally appeared in April.

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Pentatonix nailing the national anthem in perfect 5-part harmony is a must-watch

WOW. Absolute chills.

Credit: Ben P L from Provo, USA

Pentatonix performing at the USANA Amphitheatre in 2018.

"The Star-Spangled Banner," better known as the American national anthem, is one of the most notoriously difficult songs to sing, and there's no shortage of not-stellar performances to prove it. One of the reasons it's so difficult is that it requires a wide vocal range, with high notes meant to be sung loudly as the song climaxes. Another reason is that it's almost always sung live in front of a large audience, usually at sporting events where the crowd is particularly amped up, which adds pressure to deliver a perfect performance.

A handful of anthem performances have gained legendary status (hello, Whitney Houston), and now an acapella version from Pentatonix is giving those iconic moments a run for their money. At the NFL game between the Baltimore Ravens and the Houston Texans on Christmas Day, the quintet of singers started with one solo voice, then added layer after layer of pitch-perfect harmonies. The effect is stunningly powerful. Absolutely the best kind of chills.

Watch:

People were completely bowled over by it, with comments like:

"I want this on the radio/spotify etc. asap! I’ve never heard a rendition of The Star Spangled Banner other than Whitney Houston, that I wanted to listen to over and over!!! Incredible!"

"The last 'wave!!!' Y'all this was fire. Favorite version ever."

"Best anthem ever! We rewinded bc it was too good to only hear once! 🤍"

"Pretty sure this is the best version of our national anthem that I have ever heard!!!"

"I'm Brazilian but I couldn't hold some tears after that 😍 AMAZING!!!"

"Crushed it! One of the all time best. Needs to be Super Bowl anthem every year!!! 🇺🇸👏🔥❤️"

Lots of people are vying for Pentatonix to sing the anthem at the Super Bowl in February, which is when most of the best-loved anthem performances have taken place. (Grammy award-winning singer Jon Batiste is already lined up to sing the anthem at the 2025 Super Bowl.)

And in case you hadn't noticed, Kirstin Maldonado, the lone female in the group, is pregnant with her second child, which means she belted out those high notes with a growing baby pushing on her diaphragm. Talk about next level skills.

Pentatonix actually started as a trio, with Kirstin Maldonado, Scott Hoying, and Mitch Grassi forming a singing group together in high school in Arlington, Texas. They added beatboxer Matt Olusola and bass singer Avi Kaplan to round out their sound, forming Pentatonix in 2011 and winning the show The Sing-Off that same year. After some internal drama, Kaplan left the group in 2017 and Matt Sallee came on in his place. The group has its own

What is it that makes their sound so satisfying? Part of it is that they are individually talented singers, from pitch to power. Putting five talented people into an acapella group isn't a guarantee of success, but their voices blend beautifully and they perform like a well-oiled machine. Having a skilled beatboxer gives the group a percussive element and a low bass makes for a rich sound. Mitch Grassi being a countertenor—a male singer who can sing in a full female vocal range in addition to a male range—adds a surprising element as sometimes it's hard to discern whether he or Kirstin are singing the high notes.

Our brains love musical harmony, but what makes certain combinations of tones pleasing or displeasing to our ears has long been a mystery. While we might assume that harmony is a universal thing, but it's not. Some research has shown that what we find harmonious is culturally relative and learned. As a 2019 study states, "Even though it is one of the most important components in music, and possibly the most widely studied, the definition of harmony differs vastly across time, genre, and individuals, reflecting how little is understood about it."

Our experiences with music may be different, but we know when we hear a harmony that hits just right. Music has a profound effect on our emotional states, which is why music therapy has gained traction as a field of study in recent decades. We may not have a study showing that the feelings evoked by the national anthem are heightened by perfect 5-part harmony, but that certainly seems to be the experience of countless people who watched Pentatonix totally nail it.

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UPS driver has a blunt take on US economy after delivering this year's Christmas packages

It's the guys on the ground who notice things first.

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A UPS driver on a phone call.

Certain professions have an inside look at the economy because they’re on the ground floor and see things change firsthand. For example, the advertising business knows that a recession is coming six months ahead of time, and realtors often get a good idea of how the economy is changing before the shock hits everyone else.

Delivery drivers are another group of people who can get a good idea of how the average person is doing. They have more packages to deliver when the economy is doing well and fewer when things take a turn for the worse. That’s why a TikTok by UPS driver Donate McCauley (@dontaymccauley) has so many views. After delivering Christmas packages, he thinks things are going well for most people at the end of 2024.

“I thought everybody was broke. I thought we were trending towards a recession, and y’all been complaining all year about finances, and y'all say that until Christmas,” the UPS driver said in a video with over 100,000 views.

@dontaymccauley

credit card debt going crazy. #ups #peakseason #Texas #foryoupage

“I see y'all actually do got money. And y'all making us pay, for every house got, like, 3, 4 packages. I'm loaded up,” McCauley continued. “Every day I'm going out with 400 packages on this truck, and y'all killing us, man, give us a break. But I thought you ain't have no money, though?”

Is the U.S. economy good or bad in 2024?

The post received many comments; some said they are having difficulty getting by this year, while others say they are doing pretty well these days. It’s another example of the lukewarm way that people have viewed the U.S. economy since the COVID-19 pandemic subsided.

“Broke as in it costing me a whole helluva lot more to live than it should. I will always have money for Christmas one way or another,” Lisa Marie wrote. “We’re using After Pay. I did LOL,” Juanita added.

“I have been saying this ALL YEAR. Every restaurant, every tourist attraction, special event, and retail store is PACKED most of the time in my small ‘poor’ city,” SteelersGirl wrote. “I said this to my husband a few weeks ago. Everywhere I go, people are buying stuff. Car dealership was packed last week, too. The economy seems ok,” Wiat What wrote.

Another delivery driver chimed in, and she felt the same way as McCauley. “USPS here. I have been saying this for the last year,” ChicagoGirl wrote.



Are Americans spending more this holiday season?

The confused delivery driver who says that people are saying one thing but spending in another tracks a pre-election poll. A survey taken in September found that 62% of respondents said the economy was weak, while 38% said it was strong.

Regardless of how individuals feel about the economy, the numbers don’t lie. This was a strong holiday season for retailers. Visa says that spending is up this holiday season 4.8% over 2023. "This holiday shopping season, we’re seeing increasing consumer confidence as people sought out in-store experiences – and went online – to purchase gifts and celebrate the holidays with friends and family,” Wayne Best, chief economist at Visa, said in a statement. “This spending growth demonstrates the adaptability of both consumers and retailers and the overall strength of the economy.”

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