Think seeing traumatic events doesn't faze first responders? Think again.
Stress can be deadly, even to the strongest individuals. That's why they're learning to talk about it.
"I'm good to go" is a phrase that Marines and first responders like Mike Washington are usually all too familiar with.
It's often the knee-jerk response to the call of duty, even if emotionally they're anything but "good."
"As firefighters, as law enforcement, as military, we try to play that tough image," explains Washington, a firefighter for the Seattle Fire Department. "And we wouldn’t share if we’re having a hard time dealing with something. We internalize it."
Mike Washington, Seattle firefighter. All photos provided by Starbucks.
Washington's been a firefighter for 29 years, and before that, he did four combat tours with the Marine Corps. He always sought a life of action, but what he didn't consider was how other people's traumas might affect him.
"Seeing that level of human tragedy, of a car accident or a shooting or a murder — it takes a toll," Washington says.
But it was losing his son in 2008 that was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Washington and his son.
While at work, he learned his son, Marine Sgt. Michael T. Washington, had been killed in action in Afghanistan. Even though he was completely devastated, he didn't let anyone see him cry, not even at the funeral.
But this time, the strain of emotional suppression was too much to bear.
He began drinking heavily. He got into bar fights and fights with his colleagues. He'd even run through red lights on his motorcycle in hopes that someone would hit him and end his suffering.
Washington at his son's grave.
After several years of witnessing this distressing behavior, his veteran friends knew Washington needed help.
They organized a post-traumatic stress retreat to a place called Save a Warrior — a weeklong detox program designed to help veterans cope with their trauma.
Through counseling, he began to come to terms with the years of trauma he'd experienced and even uncover incidents he'd buried so deeply that he had no memory of them.
"You will see things that you can't un-see," Washington says. "We ignore it, but they're ticking time bombs. And if we don't learn ways to deal with that stress, to work with that stress, eventually it's all going to catch up to you."
Slowly but surely, Washington began to recover — and it didn't take long for him to realize the best way for him to continue healing was to help other first responders.
Washington with first responders in Critical Incident Stress Management.
So he joined the Seattle Fire Department’s Critical Incident Stress Management Team, a national effort to help first responders relieve their emotional stress by talking through it.
The goal of the program is to show first responders from day one that they don't have to keep it all inside. There are much better ways of coping that will keep you healthier and happier on the job.
That's why Washington is as candid as possible when describing his own trauma with those he is trying to help. "I don't want another firefighter to be in this situation where I was, and the way to do that was to just lay myself out and just say 'here it is,'" Washington explains.
And so far, Washington's support has helped several of his colleagues, including firefighter Denny Fenstermaker.
Fenstermaker had been a firefighter for 39 years, but in March 2014, he witnessed destruction and tragedy like he'd never seen before.
First responders on the scene of the Oso, Washington, mudslide.
Oso, Washington, a town near where Fenstermaker was fire chief, was devastated by a mudslide, so he led in a crew to rescue survivors. In the process, Fenstermaker wound up uncovering bodies of many people he knew, and the experience took a toll on him — to the point where he felt like he was losing his ability to lead.
Thankfully, Seattle’s Critical Incident Stress Management Team came on the scene, and Fenstermaker met Washington. They connected right away, and Fenstermaker started opening up to him.
"This is a guy that understands exactly where I'm at because he's already been there," Fenstermaker explains.
Washington talks to a veteran with two other firefighters.
Washington feels like he's a better person and firefighter because he's no longer keeping his traumas inside. His all around courage is helping so many others find their way again.
Trauma can affect anyone, no matter how strong they are. But talking about it is the first and most important step back from the edge.
Learn more about Washington's story here:
Upstanders: The Firefighters’ RescueThis program is making mental health a priority for firefighters.
Posted by Upworthy on Thursday, November 16, 2017
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."
This article originally appeared in May.