These fat old lesbians smoking weed are the only thing worth paying attention to on the Internet.
The internet is a truly wonderful place*. Aside from allowing us to order food and other perishable/non-perishable goods without speaking to anyone, it also allows us to connect with people we never thought possible. Like two old, fat lesbians who smoke weed all the time. Did you think you were going to find out about them today? Well, guess what: It's happening. It's happening RTFN.
Sue and Lee are retired and reside in a house with an inflatable hot tub in Maine. I did not know they existed before, but an interview in The Cut brought them rip-roaring into my life, and now, like the interview's author, there is no one I would rather be when I grow up.
Sue and Lee, of course, never meant to be viral sensations. Together for 12 years and married for four, the pair just wanted something fun to do. So they started a social media project.
In their videos, they smoke weed in front of Ā a lovingly placed woodcut that appropriately reads "inspire" in their home; they smoke weed while they pour sugar all over a calendar (it makes sense if you know the song they're parodying); they smoke weed out of off-brand barbies. Recently, they filmed a video of themselves singing "Like a Virgin" while holding hands in bed. These videos are so silly, so unflinchingly and honestly cheesy, so mundane**. Ā
"We didnāt plan on being part of a movement. We just are fat, and old, and gay," Lee says in the couple's interview with The Cut. Ā That's also exactly what makes them so incredibly important.
Let me tell you a quick story: I knew I was gay really, really early in life. But I also knew that people thought being gay ā even in San Francisco, where I live ā was wrong. It's a message I got from everywhere ā from the media, which primarily played homosexuality for shock value in the '90s, to my parents, who had bought into these negative stereotypes. They would bundle us all into the car when visitors came to town and take us down Castro street where we could gawk at the homosexuals openly holding hands.
It was especially sad for me. I'd sit in the back of that car and hope that maybe this whole "gay thing" was just a phase. And when it wasn't, I worried about being one of those old gay dudes in The Castro. I didn't have any role models to show me that you could be gay, old, and happy. Even though I eventually figured it out, I know that I would have loved to have a Sue and Lee to show me that life could be fucking awesome at all stages, body types, and sexual orientations.
"Weāre hoping that people see us as just normal, everyday people. Weāre trying to tell people not to hate gays, or fat people, or old people," Sue says in the interview.
You keep rocking on, ladies. Let's spread their message far and wide.
*It is also dark and full of terrors, but we are not speaking about that today.
**Take note, Met Gala attendees: This is what camp is!
A Generation Jones teenager poses in her room.Image via Wikmedia Commons
An office kitchen.via 
An angry man eating spaghetti.via 
Gif of baby being baptized
Woman gives toddler a bath Canva
An Irish woman went to the doctor for a routine eye exam. She left with bright neon green eyes.
It's not easy seeing green.
Did she get superpowers?
Going to the eye doctor can be a hassle and a pain. It's not just the routine issues and inconveniences that come along when making a doctor appointment, but sometimes the various devices being used to check your eyes' health feel invasive and uncomfortable. But at least at the end of the appointment, most of us don't look like we're turning into The Incredible Hulk. That wasn't the case for one Irish woman.
Photographer Margerita B. Wargola was just going in for a routine eye exam at the hospital but ended up leaving with her eyes a shocking, bright neon green.
At the doctor's office, the nurse practitioner was prepping Wargola for a test with a machine that Wargola had experienced before. Before the test started, Wargola presumed the nurse had dropped some saline into her eyes, as they were feeling dry. After she blinked, everything went yellow.
Wargola and the nurse initially panicked. Neither knew what was going on as Wargola suddenly had yellow vision and radioactive-looking green eyes. After the initial shock, both realized the issue: the nurse forgot to ask Wargola to remove her contact lenses before putting contrast drops in her eyes for the exam. Wargola and the nurse quickly removed the lenses from her eyes and washed them thoroughly with saline. Fortunately, Wargola's eyes were unharmed. Unfortunately, her contacts were permanently stained and she didn't bring a spare pair.
- YouTube youtube.com
Since she has poor vision, Wargola was forced to drive herself home after the eye exam wearing the neon-green contact lenses that make her look like a member of the Green Lantern Corps. She couldn't help but laugh at her predicament and recorded a video explaining it all on social media. Since then, her video has sparked a couple Reddit threads and collected a bunch of comments on Instagram:
āBut the REAL question is: do you now have X-Ray vision?ā
āYou can just say you're a superhero.ā
āI would make a few stops on the way home just to freak some people out!ā
āI would have lived it up! Grab a coffee, do grocery shopping, walk around a shopping center.ā
āThis one would pair well with that girl who ate something with turmeric with her invisalign on and walked around Paris smiling at people with seemingly BRIGHT YELLOW TEETH.ā
āI would save those for fancy special occasions! WOW!ā
āEvery time I'd stop I'd turn slowly and stare at the person in the car next to me.ā
āKeep them. Tell people what to do. Theyāll do your bidding.ā
In a follow-up Instagram video, Wargola showed her followers that she was safe at home with normal eyes, showing that the damaged contact lenses were so stained that they turned the saline solution in her contacts case into a bright Gatorade yellow. She wasn't mad at the nurse and, in fact, plans on keeping the lenses to wear on St. Patrick's Day or some other special occasion.
While no harm was done and a good laugh was had, it's still best for doctors, nurses, and patients alike to double-check and ask or tell if contact lenses are being worn before each eye test. If not, there might be more than ultra-green eyes to worry about.