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These 10 photos of a refugee school show what the media won't: hope.

This photographer found hope in a what she thought was a hopeless place.

When Karen Kasmauski, a photographer for National Geographic, visited a Syrian refugee camp in Jordan, she expected to see what we see in the news every day: chaos, fear, and trauma.

After all, millions of Syrians have been forced from their homes as a result of the Syrian civil war, and half of the refugees are children or teenagers.

But despite the awful circumstances of the Azarq Refugee Camp, Kasmauski also saw hope. At the center of that hope was a group of young students she met, all of whom were seeking an education. So she decided to take some pictures.


These students are studying English in the Syrian refugee camp supported by the Malala Fund. All photos by Karen Kasmauski of National Geographic and used with permission.

The students she met are all Syrians who found refuge in Jordan and now attend remedial classes at the Relief International MakaniPlus Centre through a program funded by the Malala Fund. Malala Yousafzai, the teenage education activist who survived an attempted assassination attempt by the Taliban, believes that education can make a big difference for refugee kids.

"When I was a refugee in Swat Valley, I also dreamed to continue my education," Malala said.

The Jordanian refugee camp currently houses about 30,000 refugees, but it is only one-third full, according to Kasmauski.

The Malala Fund is dedicated to ensuring that every girl has the opportunity to attend 12 years of safe, quality schooling. And according to the nonprofit's website, one-third of the children in the world who are not receiving education live in war zones like Syria.

The school's head teacher, Jamalat, is also a Syrian refugee.

She volunteers her time to make sure that her students attend classes so that they're not left behind in school. Sometimes her classes can be as large as 50 students.


Jamalat and other teachers provide remedial classes so the students can continue their education in Jordan once they leave the camp.

She also provides outdoor classes to keep the students active.

Here, Jalamat turns a jump rope for her students.

Most of the classes consist of girls in elementary and secondary school.

Some of them, like these two friends below, are studying to pass the Tawjihi.

This is the secondary school exam in Jordan that would help them get into a university.

"[The students'] enthusiasm for learning was obvious, their teachers inspirational," Kasmauski wrote in an essay about her visit to the camp.


"Life inside a refugee camp certainly isn’t easy," Kasmauski said. "The girls I met often spoke of home with fond memories. But the remedial support they receive through the MakaniPlus Centre offers them hope and a chance to successfully graduate from the Jordanian school system."

"I came away from this trip feeling inspired and enlightened. These young women have faced overwhelming hardships, yet their passion for learning has only become stronger!" she added.


Kasmauski's photos are eye-opening, not least of all because they show the inspiration and hope that education can spark, even in dire situations.

Seeing these photos really makes me appreciate my education in a way I never did before — and it also reminds me why it's so important to welcome refugees into our communities with open hearts.

A student at the refugee school that the Malala Fund supports. GIF via Malala Fund/Vimeo.

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Women's Peace & Humanitarian Fund
WPHF
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How one woman is breaking barriers to amplify women's voices in peace building across Southern Africa

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Vimbai Kapurura is the Executive Director of Women Unlimited, a grassroots women’s rights organization working to promote the rights and leadership of women, girls, and marginalized groups in Eswatini and southern Africa. With support from the Rapid Response Window of the United Nations Women’s Peace and Humanitarian Fund (WPHF), she’s advocating to have more female voices in national peace building spaces to ensure women’s rights and demands are included.

“Women are peacebuilders. We are peacemakers. We have a critical role to play in crisis situations and we are very much better placed to play a peacebuilding role in any country.”

In the face of the growing political turmoil in Eswatini, where calls for the establishment of a national dialogue remain seemingly unanswered, Vimbai and her organization are stepping up, raising their voice and bringing forward innovative solutions to promote peace and stability across the country. WPHF is supporting them to amplify women’s voices and mainstream gender perspectives into relevant decision-making mechanisms.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

“We are the cradle of life. We are changemakers, movers, shakers of any area of development. We want to be engaged and involved in any area of the value chain, the complete value chain. We want to be there.”

As part of its project with WPHF, Women Unlimited – with technical support from Cordaid, one of the INGO partners of the RRW – has trained several local women-led civil society organizations in conflict resolution, conflict prevention and mediation processes, as well as carried out educational and awareness raising campaigns on the value of women’s participation in peace processes, targeting both women and men across the country.

“WPHF has really helped us a lot. Not only has the funding allowed us to engage more women in peacebuilding processes, but it’s also supported us to underscore the need for female leadership in these spaces, where we’re often left aside.”

In Eswatini, where women and girls face deep-rooted patriarchy from a very young age, undermining their confidence, autonomy and leadership, Vimbai has become an outspoken advocate for women’s equal representation in decision-making roles at all levels, from community-level and regional committees to national and global peace building spaces.

“If you gather many women toward on common goal, you are guaranteed that that goal is going to be achieved. Let us come together and be the change we want to see. No one will do it for us. But together, we can.”

A tireless leader and activist who’s influenced the lives of many women and girls in Eswatini, Vimbai is a firm believer in women’s capacity, tenacity, and adaptability to lead and drive transformative change in their communities. When she thinks about peace, she dreams about women coming together, taking up space, and walking side by side for a more peaceful and gender-equal world in which harmful stereotypes and cultural practices are left behind.

Follow, engage, and amplify the work of Vimbai's organization!

Parenting

Dad invited 24 kids to a birthday party. 0 RVSPd. Then they all showed up and trashed the place.

Parents are giving brilliant tips for tweaking invites so these catastrophes don't happen.

Unsplash & Canva Photos

This party was tragically a perfect storm of everything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Kids birthday party culture is definitely having a moment in the public discourse. For one thing, parties have become outrageously expensive. Renting a lane at the bowling alley and getting some pizza for a dozen kids used to be the cheap party. Now that same experience will probably run $500 or more. If you tack on custom desserts (and not a Costco sheet cake), goodie bags, and a premium venue like a trampoline park or arcade, you could be looking at a bill of close to $1000! That's madness!

RSVP etiquette is in crisis, too. Social media is rife with stories of no one RSVPing, RSVPers no-showing on the day, and others sorts of rude or bizarre behavior from parents that turns parties sour and, sadly, ruin kids' birthdays.

One dad's recent story of a birthday party gone horribly wrong, though, definitely takes the cake.


toddler in a pink dress eating cakePlanning a kid's birthday means expecting the unexpected. Giphy

"My son's birthday was recently and we decided to throw him a party at a local place that was kid focused and amazing," the dad writes in a Reddit post. Due to classroom rules and wanting to pass the invitations out through school, the family invited all 24 kids from their child's class.

"Not a single parent RSVP'ed. Not a single one. My name, my phone number, AND my spouse's phone number was on the card. I'm literally staring at one ... that I handwrote and this was included on the invite. I handwrote every card so I know for a fact what was on there," he says.

Not wanting to cancel the birthday party (and traumatize his son), the dad began inviting kids from other branches of his network. Friends' kids, coworkers kids. Basically anyone with a warm body so that they could throw a proper party. In the end, the family planned and paid for 15 kids to attend the party, including a resounding zero from class.

And then everything went haywire.

"Party was yesterday night. ... We get there, get settled in, and start seeing kids come in. A few of his classmates began showing up. I was fine with that and was excited kids started showing up for him. And then more kids started showing up. One family brought 7 kids total; 3 teens, 2 slightly older kids, a girl from his classmates, and their cousin. Another family brought their son AND one of his friends because 'they didn't know if their son would know anyone there so we wanted to make sure he had a friend to play with'. So many of them brought siblings."

The numbers quickly got way, way out of hand. Organizers at the venue told the dad he was going to have to pay for all the extra kids that showed up. So the OP unfortunately had to tell anyone who brought uninvited kids, or failed to RSVP, that they would have to pay their own way for all the crafts and activities available at the venue.

A few families apologized and ponied up, but... "I had multiple parents tell me that they didn't know they couldn't bring their other kids and promised to pay before they left. Some asked for my Cashapp/Venmo/Zelle so they could reimburse me later since they couldn't afford it right now. Some just left, a few taking their presents with them."

With so many kids running amok, the party took an unfortunate turn. Kids started being mean to an animal that was brought out for entertainment and its handlers had to put it away. Trash went flying everywhere. Kids climbed on tables and got kicked out. It was pandemonium.


gif of woman jumping on a table and it collapsing beneath herKids at the party climbed on and broke furnitureGiphy

In the end, dad had to pay an extra cleaning fee, pay for damage done to the venue, and pay for all the extra kids who showed up whose parents left before chipping in. Worse yet, his son was devastated at how the party turned out.

"I was in tears. My son is really upset that there were so many mean kids. He said this was the worst party ever and asked to not have a party for next year."

The obvious question coming out of this story: Why are people so awful?!

Stories like this one sadly aren't rare. The cynical take is that parents are ruder and more self-absorbed than ever, that our socially disconnected society has diluted our sense of community and obligation to be kind to each other.

The slightly more optimistic and probably more accurate take is that today's parents are completely overwhelmed and have their hands full coordinating handfuls of events that are months away, responding to dozens of daily emails from school and teachers and daycares, being engaged and hands-on in every aspects of their kids lives, etc. So RSVPs sometimes slip to the bottom of the list and get forgotten. The behavior in this dad's story is appalling, but probably not intentionally malicious.

Still, social media users were furious on behalf of the child and his parents in the story.

"This is unacceptable behavior," wrote one commenter.

"People suck and kids parties bring out the worst in people!" added another.

Whatever the cause, there are a few ways you can protect yourself and your kids from birthday party catastrophes like this one.

Don't include the specific location on the invite. The best way to stop people who didn't RSVP from showing up unannounced is to stay vague about the party venue. Just put the day and time on the invitation so people can save the date, but make them text or call before you tell them where the party will be held. That way, you can secure a commitment beforehand.

Specify whether siblings are welcome. Unfortunately, some parents have been known to use other kids birthday parties as informal daycares, dropping all of their kids off at once and taking themselves a nice break! It's not all conniving, though. It is legitimately a lot easier on some families to bring everyone along to a party rather than dividing and conquering to entertain siblings who weren't invited. Just be clear on the invite or in RSVP discussions about who's allowed to come and whether parents are expected to stay (or if it's a "drop off party").

Understand classroom rules. A lot of schools now require that, if birthday party invitations get handed out in class, that everyone is invited. That rules comes from a great place of not wanting anyone to feel left out, but it also causes a lot of problems. The inclusivity is a positive but it also means you end up inviting a lot of kids and parents you don't know very well or at all. If you're up for this logistical challenge, go for it! But if not, consider a smaller party with just your child's good friends—and invite them privately outside of school.

Finally, for anyone on the receiving end of a birthday party invitation, don't be a jerk! RSVPing either way is a much appreciated gesture. On the chance that you do forget to RSVP (it happens), don't show up unannounced. It may not seem like a big deal, but when a couple dozen sets of parents all have the same thought, this dad's viral story shows exactly what can go wrong.

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Dad's heartfelt lunch message shows how simple, everyday acts can change lives

You can make a huge difference by using O Organics.

via Meg Sullivan (used with permission) and Canva/Photos

A volunteer hands out food in a food bank and Meg Sullivan shares her dad's kind gesture.

When we consider people who have had a positive impact on the world, we often think of those who have made grand gestures to improve the lives of others, such as Martin Luther King, Jr., Greta Thunberg, or Mahatma Gandhi. Unfortunately, that type of effort is out of reach for the average person.

However, O Organics would like to remind everyone that they can positively impact the world through small, consistent acts of kindness that add up over time. Much like how a small creek can create a valley over the years, we can change lives through small, consistent acts of kindness.

O Organics is dedicated to the well-being of all by nourishing people everywhere with delicious organic foods grown by producers who meet USDA-certified organic farming standards.

Upworthy's Instagram page recently posted a touching example of everyday kindness. Meg Sullivan shared how her father, Tom, peeled oranges for her lunch just about every day from kindergarten through high school. But on the final day of her senior year of high school, he sent his 17-year-old daughter unpeeled oranges with a touching note about how she’d have to start peeling them for herself.



“It’s Time Baby Girl,” he wrote on a wikiHow printout on how to peel an orange with a drawing of himself crying. For the father, this daily ritual was about more than just making lunch; it was about showing that he cared by going the extra mile. “I could have put money on her lunch account,” Tom told Today.com. “But it’s one of those little things I thought was important, that she knows somebody’s taking the time to take care of her.”

The small, daily gesture taught Megan an essential lesson in kindness.

The post reminded people how their fathers’ small acts of kindness meant so much to them. “My dad peeled my oranges until I graduated high school, too. Now, I peel my daughter’s oranges and will for the next 7 plus years,” Katie wrote in the comments. “Love this. My dad peeled mine, too. When I moved out, he gave me an orange peeler gadget,” Mary added.

o organics, albertson's giving backO Organics has a wide array of foods and flavors covering almost everything on your shopping list.via Albertson's

Did you know that every time you go to the supermarket, you can also change the world through small gestures? O Organics not only allows you to feed your family delicious and nutritious organic food, but each purchase also gives back to help people and communities facing food insecurity.

Through contributions from customers like you, O Organics donates up to 28 million meals annually. The company’s contribution is essential when, according to the USDA, 47.4 million Americans live in food-insecure households.

O Organics has a wide array of foods and flavors covering almost everything on your shopping list. “Over the years, we have made organic foods more accessible by expanding O Organics to every aisle across our stores, making it possible for health and budget-conscious families to incorporate organic food into every meal,” Jennifer Saenz, EVP and Chief Merchandising Officer at Albertsons, one of many stores where you can find O Organics products, said in a statement.

O Organics now offers over 1500 items, from dairy products such as eggs and milk to packaged meats and breakfast staples such as cereal bars, granola and oatmeal. You can also enjoy affordable organic produce with O Organics’ fresh salads and fruit.

Everybody wants to make the world a better place. With O Organics, you can feed your family healthy, organic food every time you go to the market while paying it forward by contributing to the company’s efforts to end food insecurity nationwide. That’s a small, daily gesture that can amount to incredible change.

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Climate Change

Doctor warns that having this in your bathroom is a huge red flag for your health

People mistake it for mold.

via Canva/Photos

A woman feeling sick in her bathroom.

It’s easy to tell if mold is growing in your bathroom: you notice the black stuff growing on the caulk that lines your bathtub or near the bottom of the hot and cold water handles on your sink. But have you ever seen a ring of pink slime accumulating around your sink drain or on the bottom of your shower curtain? Most people think it’s mold, but it’s actually something worse.

U.K.-based surgeon Dr. Karan Rajan explained the pink slime phenomenon in a TikTok video that’s received over 640,000 views. “You've seen this pink slime lurking in your bathroom, it's not mold, it's bacteria,” Dr. Rajan says. “Specifically one called Serratia marcescens. And it vomits hot pink all over your bathroom.”

Yes, that’s not soap that has turned a bubble-gum color on the bottom of your shower curtain or Pepto Bismol that didn’t go down the drain. It’s bacteria vomit.

@dr.karanr

Pink slime

The interesting thing about this bacteria is that the products you use to clean your body in the shower or wash your hands in the sink are what it loves to eat. Pink slime feeds on fat and mineral deposits from soap scum and shampoo.

If you’ve found some pink slime in your home before, you know it’s much grosser than you originally thought. But is it dangerous? “[To] the average person, it's pretty harmless, even if you come into contact with it, but you still wanna avoid getting in your eyes or open wounds,” Dr. Raja warns. “However, it can cause gut, urine, or chest infections in those who are immunocompromised.”

"OMG this reappears in our tub every few weeks. I was wondering what it was!?" someone wrote in the comments on the TikTok post. "I always wondered. The pink slime and my bleach bottle are in a constant battle," another added.

The bigger problem of pink slime is that it may be a symptom of a more significant issue. “If your home has enough damp for pink slime to consistently develop, you could actually be growing other things as well, like actual household molds, which could be causing respiratory issues or allergies,” Dr. Rajan says.

serratia marcescensSerratia marcescens up close.via Bjorn S./Wikimedia Commons

How to clean pink slime (Serratia marcescens)

Here is how to clean and sanitize your bathroom of pink slime, thanks to This Old House.

  1. Wear safety glasses, a mask, and gloves
  2. Combine 2 tablespoons of dish soap with one quarter cup of baking soda
  3. Apply the mixture to the bacteria and scrub thoroughly with a nylon brush
  4. Rinse away the loosened bacteria
  5. Spray the affected area with 1:1 warm water and bleach solution
  6. Let sit for ten minutes, then scrub again
  7. Dry with a microfiber towel

How to prevent pink slime from growing in your bathroom

How do you keep pink slime from growing in your home in the first place? The key is to keep your bathroom dry. “The first rule of Pink Slime Club is to keep the bacteria forming in the first place. By curbing its growth, you'll be preventing other dangerous molds from forming,” Dr. Rajan says. “Keep your shower dry and well-ventilated, put on an exhaust fan or open a window after showering to keep humidity levels low, and regularly clean and disinfect your bathroom. It's filthier than you think.”

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Pets

Depressed shelter cat turns into life of the party after moving into senior living facility

George keeps the residents on their toes with 4 AM zoomies.

Photo credit: Canva

Sad shelter cat gets a new gig at assisted living facility

Cats like dogs have been domesticated and generally thrive off of human companionship. Some might even venture to say that these animals do best when they feel like they're serving a purpose, even if that purpose is to be the foot warmer at the end of your bed. This centuries worth of domestication is the reason so many pets prefer to live amongst humans but for some, one human just won't do.

George is a 7-year-old white domestic shorthair that once called a senior living facility home but when the home closed down, the cat was out of a job. The staff at the facility that housed George brought him to a local animal shelter where he became depressed fairly quickly. Finding a home for the sad cat wan't going to be an easy feat since on top of him looking visibly depressed, he also has a rather unique look.

Many people would love an all white cat but George looks a little off. One of his ears is folded inward at the base and points forward while the other folds down and points off the the side appearing smaller than average cat ears. Couple that with his mopey face and it's a recipe for a long shelter stay.

Tired Cat GIFGiphy

But Four Footed Friends Animal Shelter in Indiana, Pennsylvania did not plan to let George stay in the shelter longer than needed. They knew the sad kitty didn't need to wait for a family to see the potential beyond his physical flaws because George needed a job. A job where he got to be the center of attention any time he walked into the room so Alex and the people at the animal shelter went on the hunt for another senior care home.

"He was definitely depressed, he was down. We had him in a kennel away from the other cats. He responded every time we walked by he gave us a little meow. He wanted attention. You could just tell he just wasn't happy about his situation," Alex tells Geobeats.

The plan quickly became to get George back to work so the shelter started telling local nursing homes about the furry companion in hopes one of them would give him a chance. After the senior living facilities found out the cat had years of previous experience that allows him to bypass meow-ientation, they were lining up to add George to their staff.

Eventually the shelter chose Forest Hills Personal Care Home and George has made himself at home. To no one's surprise, he's purr-fect at his job.

"He's not a loud cat, he's not a super playful cat, he is a comforting cat. I think that's more his speed. He's a lap cat, he's a cuddle cat and he's the kind of boy that'll be very loyal to you and follow you around. He thrives on being able to be with a lot of people," Alex explains. "He wouldn't have done well in a home with just one or two people."

The residents at the personal care home love him and give him all the attention he could ever possibly need. But once his shift is over, all the elderly residents are sound asleep and the night nurses are counting the minutes before their reprieve arrives, George lets loose. He gets the late night zoomies to get in his cardio before another long day of caring for his residents. It sure is hard being a working cat sometimes but somehow George manages to do it without bending a whisker.

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Nature

A hard-to-watch experiment demonstrates that babies aren’t naturally afraid of snakes

Letting snakes loose in a room full of babies? Fascinating, but soooo uncomfortable.

Photo credit: Canva

Babies are more curious than afraid when it comes to snakes.

As someone who's been afraid of snakes for as long as I can remember, I've often wondered where that fear came from. I've never been bitten or harmed by a snake. I've had close encounters with rattlesnakes out in the wild, but no actual strikes. I've had friends with pet snakes that were perfectly docile, and I've even held and petted snakes before (with no small amount of trepidation). While I think a healthy respect for snakes is wise, as some can be dangerous or even deadly, my fear goes way beyond that. I know lions, tigers, and bears are dangerous as well, but don't feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin when I see them like I do when I see a snake.

Why, though? Is that reaction something I learned when I was little, or is it an instinctive, evolutionary fear I inherited from my ancestors?

gif of woman reaching out to hold a snakeReality Reaction GIF by Married At First SightGiphy

Theoretically, the question of whether fears are innate or learned can at least somewhat be answered by seeing how babies react to things. Every baby is different, of course, and some are more sensitive to certain things than others, but researchers have found that babies in general do not exhibit a natural fear of snakes. In their infancy, children largely learn what to fear by observing the reactions of the people around them, whether their parents or others have a negative or positive reaction to something. A fear of snakes might develop early on if a caregiver demonstrate that fear themselves. But without observing that, if you put babies in a room with snakes, they won't be afraid.

And yes, we can actually see that theory tested. In an episode of Secret Science on ABC (Australian Broadcasting Company), a handful of babies sat on the floor surrounded by toys and a couple of well-trained, non-venomous snakes. If you have a fear of snakes, brace yourself but give it a chance—it's as informative and fascinating as it is mortifying.

Watch:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The host's reaction is so relatable, especially the shudders and the gagging. But clearly the babies were unfazed by the serpents slithering around them. One of them even tried to bite the poor snake, for goodness sake. (It hardly seems necessary, but I should probably insert an obligatory disclaimer here: This is a controlled environment with snakes that are known to be safe with handlers right there, so please do not attempt this with any snakes and babies at home.)

Measuring fear in babies is, of course, a bit of a challenge. It's not like an infant can say, "I'm scared," and babies are known to cry or startle for all kinds of reasons that might not be related to whatever stimuli is around them. An analysis of studies done on babies and fear published in the journal Developmental Psychology in 2020 found that babies react more quickly to commonly assumed fear triggers, but the evidence doesn't show that they are actually afraid of them.

Steve Irwin handling two large snakesSteve Irwin Snakes GIF by BustleGiphy

"Most infants are not afraid of snakes, spiders, heights, or strangers," write study authors Vanessa LoBue and Karen E Adolph. "Instead, they differentiate these stimuli from others, they explore these stimuli to learn about them, and they evaluate the meaning of these stimuli relative to the environment. Although fear of snakes/spiders, heights, and strangers might be adaptive in some instances, heightened attention to these stimuli, the ability to perceive affordances for action when presented with these stimuli, and the ability to evaluate their meaning based on context is far more adaptive: These behaviors encourage infants to explore new things while maintaining the flexibility to develop a fear if they discover that a stimulus is truly threatening."

Learning what to fear from caregivers is an important adaptation, not just among humans but among many animal species as well. Rescued baby orangutans had to be taught to fear snakes by human caregivers at Borneo Orangutan Survival, for instance. Snakes are actually dangerous sometimes, so it's wise to instill some sense of fear of snakes in the wild.

Learning to fear something fear-worthy is a tricky business for humans, though. People are complex and an overreaction might lead to an irrational anxiety response rather than a healthy fear. We may have the cognitive abilities to understand the context and circumstances in which fear is warranted or not, but that doesn't mean we are always able to access those abilities in the face of a fight, flight, or freeze response.

Keeping fear in the reasonable realm is important, and knowing that babies start off without fear of snakes might help inform the way we should react in front of them in order for them to learn the wisdom of fear without it going too far.

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Modern Families

Dad of 2 young kids admits he and his wife sleep separately and the trend is growing

This approach isn't without its drawbacks, though.

rab_moudallal/Instagram

It's not as weird as it sounds.

When you become a parent, your nighttime routine gets thrown for a loop. The first couple of years are a rollercoaster of changes—when the kids go to bed, how often they wake up, how long they sleep. Things start to normal out after a while, but if you have a second kid, or a third, you can start the clock over again each time. Some couples live in nighttime chaos for years and years at a time.

Not only does this naturally cause a ton of sleep disruption and sleep loss in parents of young kids, it can also be a huge source of conflict within a couple. Who gets up with the kids at night? Who gets extra rest in the morning? With two sleep deprived, cranky parents, tempers can flare easily around the subject of rest.

One dad took to social media to come clean about how he handles the restless nights: He and his wife, parents to two young kids, don’t sleep in the same room anymore.

Rabeeh Moudallal, in an Instagram reel, discussed the couple’s “married but separate” sleeping strategy. He says he usually sleeps on a mattress on the floor in their toddler’s room, while his wife, Katie, handles any late night fussiness or feedings with the baby. In their arrangement, both parents don’t have to get woken up every time one of the kids does. It minimizes disruption and sleep loss, and let’s them take turns helping each other out if one of them has a particularly rough stretch. It may not be the most romantic set up in the world, but for this phase of life, it makes a lot of sense!

Watch Moudallal’s full reel here:

I can absolutely relate to what Moudallal is describing here. I have a 4-year-old with significant sleep issues and I’ve spent many long stretches sleeping on the floor in her room every night.

Although my wife and I don't usually sleep separately on purpose, during rough patches with the kids it makes sense to “divide and conquer” sometimes—there’s no reason for both my wife and I to suffer during those disruptive nights, after all! I think it's smart to play to the strengths of each person in the couple. If one partner is good at getting up early or but struggles to go back to sleep after being woken, and you know the other one doesn't mind taking the midnight shift and sleeping in a little later, why not use that to your advantage? Doing everything as a team often just means no one's ever rested and fresh.

gif of woman sleepily waking from a napDisrupted sleep can have a lot of consequences. Giphy

There was a palpable sense of relief in the comments section of the viral video, where dozens of parents were overjoyed to finally admit without shame that they did the same:

"This is legit our same set up ! It's good to see others are in the same boat! Just trying to survive it all"

"When we first done this 7 years ago I was too embarrassed and scared to tell anyone incase people thought it was so wrong, and it would ruin our relationship, but it’s about survival"

"I always say to hubby, we’ve got years to be together, the kids need us at the moment. It won’t be forever"

Studies say about a third of couples don’t sleep in the same room or bed regularly. It’s more common than you think and is nothing to be ashamed of.

This number used to be closer to 25%, but it's growing rapidly.

Couples with different schedules, for example, commonly sleep separately. But so do those who deal with one partner snoring or having restless legs or insomnia. They’re all perfectly valid reasons to sleep separately, which can reduce conflicts and help everyone get more rest. That leads to happier relationships overall, so it's easy to see why the trend is catching on.

Parenting young kids who constantly wake or cry in the middle of the night is as good a reason as any to sleep in different rooms for a while.

But a word of caution for baggy-eyed parents: Sleeping in separate beds for logistical reasons is one thing, but deprioritizing your relationship is another.

It’s easy to think you have all the time in the world for each other once this phase of early parenthood ends, but putting intimacy off for extended periods of time can have lasting consequences. And news flash, there will be another stressful phase of parenting waiting for you after the sleepless nights are over! It’s not going to get easier, just a different kind of hard.

Moudallal even admits this. “I kind of miss being able to roll over and talk to my wife at night instead of just texting her from her room," he says, jokingly calling the separation a "natural contraception."

Couples who are parents need time together, even when chaos with the kids is swirling all around them. It's no secret that raising young kids puts enormous pressures on relationships, and a lot of couples don't survive it. It’s OK to divide and conquer and not find that intimacy by sleeping next to each other, but just make sure you replace it with other ways of connecting instead of always waiting around for smoother sailing.

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