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Therapist analyzes male 'Megamind' characters to explain why women reject 'nice guys'

"Nice Guy Syndrome" is a thing.

Megamind screenshot

Nice isn't the same as good.

Have you ever heard a guy complain that women seem to reject them a lot, despite the fact that they're a nice guy? There may be multiple reasons for that, but if it happens a lot, "Nice Guy Syndrome" might be at play.

To illustrate Nice Guy Syndrome, licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright analyzed the male characters and how the primary love interest responded to them in the animated film "Megamind." Decker and Seawright use films to explore mental health and human behavior in their show "Cinema Therapy," which has 1.7 million followers on YouTube. Their breakdown of "Megamind" and Nice Guy Syndrome is one of their most popular episodes, which is a testament who how relatable it is.


After discussing how criminally underrated "Megamind" is as a film—so funny, with incredible writing and performances—Decker and Seawright dive into what makes the characters Hal (played by Jonah Hill) and Megamind (played by Will Ferrell) good examples of the difference between "nice guys" and "good guys." Both of these characters fall for Roxanne (played by Tina Fey) but only one of them proves worthy of her in the end. (Hint: It's not the nice guy.)

Hal may be awkward, but he's "nice" in that he treats Roxanne well, at least on the surface. He's always doing things for her and complimenting her, trying to win her affections. But his niceness is transactional; he wants something from her and thinks being nice to her will eventually get it for him. He's not being nice for its own sake. When he gains superpowers and becomes "Titan," he assumes that Roxanne will want him, and we see how he feels entitled to her. He doesn't respect what she wants—in fact, he thinks she's delusional and that he needs to convince her that she should be with him.

Hal is "nice" but he's not good. Megamind is the opposite. Megamind starts off as a villain in the film, but as the story progresses, we see how he ended up in that position and how his true nature is actually good.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

"This is not a story of a villain reforming," Decker says. "He was always destined to be the hero, but he wasn't really given a chance to be. And that's one thing that I find really powerful about the story is this notion that I want to be good, but people won't let me. Or I want to be good, or because of certain things about me, people don't see who I really am."

"There's a difference between niceness and goodness," Decker says. "Goodness is for its own sake. And giving love is not the same thing as expecting it in return."

He then explains how "good" and "nice" mean different things when it comes to what you want for and from the other person.

"Good is I want you to be happy," he says. "It doesn't have to be with me. I would be thrilled if it was, but doesn't have to be with me. And also, I respect your right to make the choices you're going to make. Nice is not only are you making the wrong choice in being with that other guy, you should be with me. Nice lacks confidence and is looking for someone else to give it to them."

Decker shared that he speaks from experience on this topic, as he himself went through a phase of being a "nice guy," questioning why the women he was interested in always went for good-looking jerks when they should have been interested in him. It wasn't until someone felt entitled to his affections because she was good to him that he saw how terrible that felt on the receiving end.

People in the comments loved the analysis and shared some thoughts of their own:

"Megamind’s 'villainy' is really just elaborate, over-the-top theatrics and we never even see anyone actually get hurt during them. Whereas, superpowers aside, Hal is the kind of villain that can and does exist in real life, and it makes him so much scarier."

"Megamind is a story about facades. Megamind created his evil persona as a way to push people away to hide how vulnerable he really is, whereas Hal created his nice guy persona to camouflage how despicable he is in an attempt to lure people closer."

"The interesting part to me is how Roxanne was always so kind to Hal despite his awkwardness and his selfishness. She was never dismissive or rude to him. Even in that tower scene where she's trying to explain to him what's going on, she never once raises her voice or gets impatient with him, it's him who gets worked up with her. And that's such a perfect depiction of real life. You can be so kind, and so polite, and it doesn't matter, because if someone has decided you owe them something, they're going to be angry at you just for existing if they don't get it."

"I like the part when Titan brings Roxanne the flowers. It shows how little he actually cares for her. He says he knows everything about her and then immediately after he says he doesn't know what kind of flowers she likes. He likes the idea of being with her but doesn't actually like her enough to learn about her."

Unfortunately, many women have had experience with "nice guys" who are not actually "good guys," and it's often not that hard to spot the difference. But the bottom line is that being good for goodness' sake will always be more attractive than being nice solely in order to get a woman's attention or win her affections.

Planet

Our favorite giveaway is back. Enter to win a free, fun date! 🌊 💗

It's super easy, no purchase or donation necessary, and you help our oceans! That's what we call a win-win-win. Enter here.

Our favorite giveaway is back. Enter to win a free, fun date! 🌊 💗
True

Our love for the ocean runs deep. Does yours? Enter here!

This Valentine’s Day, we're bringing back our favorite giveaway with Ocean Wise. You have the chance to win the ultimate ocean-friendly date. Our recommendation? Celebrate love for all your people this Valentine's Day! Treat your mom friends to a relaxing spa trip, take your best friend to an incredible concert, or enjoy a beach adventure with your sibling! Whether you're savoring a romantic seafood dinner or enjoying a movie night in, your next date could be on us!

Here’s how to enter:


  • Go to upworthy.com/oceandate and complete the quick form for a chance to win - it’s as easy as that.
  • P.S. If you follow @oceanwise or donate after entering, you’ll get extra entries!

Here are the incredible dates:

1. Give mom some relaxation

She’s up before the sun and still going at bedtime. She’s the calendar keeper, the lunch packer, the one who remembers everything so no one else has to. Moms are always creating magic for us. This Valentine’s Day, we’re all in for her. Win an eco-friendly spa day near you, plus a stash of All In snack bars—because she deserves a treat that’s as real as she is. Good for her, kinder to the ocean. That’s the kind of love we can all get behind.


Special thanks to our friends at All In who are all in on helping moms!

2. Jump in the ocean, together

Grab your favorite person and get some much-needed ocean time. Did you know research on “blue spaces” suggests that being near water is linked with better mental health and well-being, including feeling calmer and less stressed? We’ll treat you to a beach adventure like a surfing or sailing class, plus ocean-friendly bags from GOT Bag and blankets from Sand Cloud so your day by the water feels good for you and a little gentler on the ocean too.

Special thanks to our friends at GOT Bag. They make saving the ocean look stylish and fun!

3. Couch potato time

Love nights in as much as you love a date night out? We’ve got you. Have friends over for a movie night or make it a cozy night in with your favorite person. You’ll get a Disney+ and Hulu subscription so you can watch Nat Geo ocean content, plus a curated list of ocean-friendly documentaries and a movie-night basket of snacks. Easy, comfy, and you’ll probably come out of it loving the ocean even more.

4. Dance all day!

Soak up the sun and catch a full weekend of live music at BeachLife Festival in Redondo Beach, May 1–3, 2026, featuring Duran Duran, The Offspring, James Taylor and His All-Star Band, The Chainsmokers, My Morning Jacket, Slightly Stoopid, and Sheryl Crow. The perfect date to bring your favorite person on!

We also love that BeachLife puts real energy into protecting the coastline it’s built on by spotlighting ocean and beach-focused nonprofit partners and hosting community events like beach cleanups.

Date includes two (2) three-day GA tickets. Does not include accommodation, travel, or flights.

5. Chef it up (at home)

Stay in and cook something delicious with someone you love. We’ll hook you up with sustainable seafood ingredients and some additional goodies for a dinner for two, so you can eat well and feel good knowing your meal supports healthier oceans and more responsible fishing.

Giveaway ends 2/15/26 at 11:59pm PT. Winners will be selected at random and contacted via email from the Upworthy. No purchase necessary. Open to residents of the U.S. and specific Canadian provinces that have reached age of majority in their state/province/territory of residence at the time. Please see terms and conditions for specific instructions. Giveaway not affiliated with Instagram. More details at upworthy.com/oceandate

arthur c. brooks, harvard, psychology, happiness research, bucket list

Harvard researcher Arthur C. Brooks studies what leads to human happiness.

We live in a society that prizes ambition, celebrating goal-setting, and hustle culture as praiseworthy vehicles on the road to success. We also live in a society that associates successfully getting whatever our hearts desire with happiness. The formula we internalize from an early age is that desire + ambition + goal-setting + doing what it takes = a successful, happy life.

But as Harvard University happiness researcher Arthur C. Brooks has found, in his studies as well as his own experience, that happiness doesn't follow that formula. "It took me too long to figure this one out," Brooks told podcast host Tim Ferris, explaining why he uses a "reverse bucket list" to live a happier life.


bucket list, wants, desires, goals, detachment Many people make bucket lists of things they want in life. Giphy

Brooks shared that on his birthday, he would always make a list of his desires, ambitions, and things he wanted to accomplish—a bucket list. But when he was 50, he found his bucket list from when he was 40 and had an epiphany: "I looked at that list from when I was 40, and I'd checked everything off that list. And I was less happy at 50 than I was at 40."

As a social scientist, he recognized that he was doing something wrong and analyzed it.

"This is a neurophysiological problem and a psychological problem all rolled into one handy package," he said. "I was making the mistake of thinking that my satisfaction would come from having more. And the truth of the matter is that lasting and stable satisfaction, which doesn't wear off in a minute, comes when you understand that your satisfaction is your haves divided by your wants…You can increase your satisfaction temporarily and inefficiently by having more, or permanently and securely by wanting less."

Brooks concluded that he needed a "reverse bucket list" that would help him "consciously detach" from his worldly wants and desires by simply writing them down and crossing them off.

"I know that these things are going to occur to me as natural goals," Brooks said, citing human evolutionary psychology. "But I do not want to be owned by them. I want to manage them." He discussed moving those desires from the instinctual limbic system to the conscious pre-frontal cortex by examining each one and saying, "Maybe I get it, maybe I don't," but crossing them off as attachments. "And I'm free…it works," he said.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When I write them down, I acknowledge that I have the desire," he explained on X. "When I cross them out, I acknowledge that I will not be attached to this goal."

The idea that attachment itself causes unhappiness is a concept found in many spiritual traditions, but it is most closely associated with Buddhism. Mike Brooks, PhD, explains that humans need healthy attachments, such as an attachment to staying alive and attachments to loved ones, to avoid suffering. But many things to which we are attached are not necessarily healthy, either by degree (over-attachment) or by nature (being attached to things that are impermanent).

"We should strive for flexibility in our attachments because the objects of our attachment are inherently in flux," Brooks writes in Psychology Today. "In this way, we suffer unnecessarily when we don't accept their impermanent nature."

What Arthur C. Brooks suggests that we strive to detach ourselves from our wants and desires because the simplest way to solve the 'haves/wants = happiness' formula is to reduce the denominator. The reverse bucket list, in which you cross off desires before you fulfill them, can help free you from attachment and lead to a happier overall existence.

This article originally appeared last year.

NASA; Challenger explosion; Challenger crew; teacher in space; Challenger 40th anniversary

The Challenger crew.

In January 1986, the space shuttle Challenger took off with seven crew members on board, ready to make history. It was a big deal because this space mission wasn't just full of astronauts. Christa McAuliffe, a high school history teacher, was on board the spacecraft after winning a contest for the Teacher in Space Project. This would've made her the first teacher in space, so schools across the country wheeled televisions into their classrooms to allow students to watch history.

Instead, tragedy struck. The shuttle exploded just 73 seconds after takeoff due to "the destruction of the seals that are intended to prevent hot gases from leaking through the joint during the propellant burn of the rocket motor," according to NASA. All seven passengers on the Challenger perished in the explosion, leaving the country in shock.


NASA; Challenger explosion; Challenger crew; teacher in space; Challenger 40th anniversary The Challenger on crawler transportNASA/Wikimedia Commons

January 2026 was the 40th anniversary of the accident, and NewsChannel 5 caught up with one of the teachers who was competing for the seat McAuliffe occupied. Carolyn Dobbins taught at McMurray Middle in Tennessee in 1984 when NASA announced the Teacher in Space Project. Having always wanted to go to space, Dobbins applied for a seat on the shuttle. Over 11,000 teachers applied to be the one who would make history, and to Dobbins' surprise, she was chosen as a semifinalist. "I had no idea that anything like this could ever be part of my life," she said.

The retired teacher explains to the news station that she spent days on her application for space, saying, "An amazing thing happened." She shares about the series of snow days in 1985. "Snow day. Then we had another snow day and another snow day. Those snow days were what I needed! It was basically a mini-book about your beliefs, your desire to go into space, getting to the soul of the person."

NASA; Challenger explosion; Challenger crew; teacher in space; Challenger 40th anniversary The Challenger explosion. Kennedy Space Center/Wikimedia Commons

She admits that some of her students were worried about her going into space if she were to be chosen, but she brushed off their concerns, saying, "'Oh, I'll be back.'" Dobbins was completely confident in the success of the mission and excited to be able to do something she once thought was impossible. After being interviewed by a panel in Washington, D.C., she was sure she would be chosen for the mission. All of the teachers invited to be interviewed were also confident they'd be chosen, according to Dobbins. But only one could go, and the person chosen was 37-year-old mom of two, Christa McAuliffe, a teacher at Concord High School in Concord, New Hampshire.

Dobbins stood in front of her television watching the shuttle take off instead of experiencing it herself. Once the announcer said the magic words, "We have liftoff," the almost astronaut shares that she let out a sigh of relief before saying, "Way to go, Christa." She then turned off the television.

"Within seconds, the phone rang," Dobbins tells NewsChannel 5. "It was a friend. I said, 'Isn't it great? The shuttle has gone!' She said, 'Carolyn, you don't know.' It was the tone. You don't know. I just put the phone down, flipped on the TV. There it was. Already the footage was going of the explosion. That is still such an emotional moment."

NASA; Challenger explosion; Challenger crew; teacher in space; Challenger 40th anniversary Jay Greene in the control room after the Challenger explodesNASA/Wikimedia Commons

Dobbins taught for 53 years before retiring, and while she would've been willing to go on another mission that aimed to put a teacher in space, she's thankful for the life she has been able to live.

Pets

Vet demonstrates 'squish the cat' method of safe cat handling in delightfully helpful video

There's a reason Dr. Burstyn's "How to pick up a cat" video has been viewed 23 million times.

cats, pets, cat handling, veterinarian, feline behavior

Handling a cat may seem like a delicate matter, but being delicate isn't actually the way to go.

If you've ever tried to make a cat do something it doesn't want to do, you've likely experienced the terror that a cat's wrath can invoke. Our cute, cuddly feline friends may be small, but the razor blades on their feet are no joke when they decide to utilize them. Even cats who love us can get spicy if we try to manhandle them, so we can imagine how things will go with cats who don't know us well. But sometimes it's necessary to handle a cat even if it's resistant to the idea.

This is where Vancouver veterinarian Dr. Uri Burstyn comes in. His "How to pick up a cat like a pro" video, in which he demonstrates a few ways of picking up and handling a cat, has been viewed over 23 million times since he shared it in 2019. Unlike many viral videos, it's not humorous and nothing outrageous happens, but the combo of Burstyn's calm demeanor and his repeated instructions to "squish that cat" has endeared him to the masses.


- YouTube www.youtube.com

The video truly is helpful; he shows the ways to pick up a cat that make them feel the most secure using his cats, one-year-old Claudia and 14-year-old Mr. Pirate. He explains that cats spook very easily and it's best to introduce yourself to them gently. Let them sniff your fingers, keeping your fingers curled in, and once they've sniffed you, you can often give them a light rub on the cheek or under the chin.

Picking them up is a different story. The reason many cats will claw or scratch you when you try to pick them up is because they feel unsupported or unsafe, so they'll scramble around trying to get some footing. Burstyn shows how he picks up Claudia with one hand under the chest and one hand under her abdomen. If he needs to carry her around, he squishes her into his body so she feels "nice and supported." He may even put a hand under her front paws.

cats, pets, cat handling, veterinarian, feline behavior Cats can be finicky about how they're held. Photo credit: Canva

Then came the best part of the video: "Squish That Cat"

"Now if we do have a cat who's trying to get away from us?" Burstyn said. "We always squish that cat. If you're trying to hold the cat down, whether it's to trim their nails or to give them a pill, or whether you just want to have a cat not run off for a moment, squish that cat. All you need to know about cat restraint is to squish that cat."

Burstyn explains that cats generally feel very secure being squished, even if they're really scared.

"Sometimes cats come to me in the clinic, and they're quite afraid," he said. "And you just gently squish them, and they'll sit there and kind of not hurt themselves, not hurt us. Just hang out and let us do our thing."

He demonstrated putting a towel over the cat, explaining, "If you have a towel handy, this is one of the best cat restraint tools around. You can just throw a towel on the catty and squish her with the towel, that way they won't get a claw into you if they are scrambling about a bit. Very safe and gentle, and generally cats are very, very happy to be squished like that."

cats, pets, cat handling, veterinarian, feline behavior Squish that cat. Photo credit: Canva

Dr. Burstyn also showed how to do a "football hold," tucking the cat under your arm with them facing backwards. "So this is kind of an emergency way if you really need to carry a cat somewhere in a hurry," he said. Scooping up Claudia, he explained, "Little head's under your arm, butt in your hand, and you squish her tight to your body. And with that little football carry, you can basically hold a cat very securely and very safely, because it's really hard for them to rake you with their hind legs."

If you're worried about over-squishing your cat, Dr. Burnstyn says don't. "You don't have to worry about hurting a cat," he said. "They're very, very tough little beasts. You know, just squishing them against your body's never going to do them any harm. In fact, they tend to feel more safe and secure when they're being held tightly."

Dr. Burnstyn also demonstrated how to pick up and set down a "shoulder cat" who insists on climbing onto people's shoulders and hanging out there, as Mr. Pirate does. It's highly entertaining, as Mr. Pirate is a big ol' chonky kitty.


@yozron

Visit TikTok to discover videos!

People in the comments loved Dr. Burnstyn's demonstration, with several dubbing him the Bob Ross of veterinary medicine. Even people who don't have cats said they watched the whole video, and many loved Claudia and Mr. Pirate as well.

"This is just proof that cats are liquid."

"12/10 cat. Excellent squishability."

"So essentially, cats love hugs? That's the most wonderful thing i've heard all day."

"This cat is so well mannered and looks educated."

"Mr Pirate is an absolute unit."

"S q u i s h . T h a t . C a t ."

"I need 'Squish that cat' shirt.

"Dang, that actually helped with my female cat. She has been through at least two owners before me and had some bad expriences which obviously resulted in trust issues. She has now been with me for two years and it had gotten loads better, but she still did not want me to hold her. Normally I simply would have let her be, but for vet visits and such it was not an ideal situation. But then I saw this video and tried to squish the cat. And she loves it! She is turning into quite the snuggly bug. Thank you!"

So there you go. When all else fails, squish that cat and see what happens.

You can follow Dr. Burstyn on YouTube at Helpful Vancouver Vet.


quiet, finger over lips, don't talk, keep it to yourself, silence

A woman with her finger over her mouth.

It can be hard to stay quiet when you feel like you just have to speak your mind. But sometimes it's not a great idea to share your opinions on current events with your dad or tell your boss where they're wrong in a meeting. And having a bit of self-control during a fight with your spouse is a good way to avoid apologizing the next morning.

Further, when we fight the urge to talk when it's not necessary, we become better listeners and give others a moment in the spotlight to share their views. Building that small mental muscle to respond to events rather than react can make all the difference in social situations.


argument, coworkers, angry coworkers, hostile work enviornment, disagreement A woman is getting angry at her coworker.via Canva/Photos

What is the WAIT method?

One way people have honed the skill of holding back when they feel the burning urge to speak up is the WAIT method, an acronym for the question you should ask yourself in that moment: "Why Am I Talking?" Pausing to consider the question before you open your mouth can shift your focus from "being heard" to "adding value" to any conversation.

The Center for The Empowerment Dynamic has some questions we should consider after taking a WAIT moment:

  • What is my intention behind what I am about to say?
  • What question can I ask to better understand what the other person is saying?
  • Is my need to talk an attempt to divert the attention to me?
  • How might I become comfortable with silence rather than succumb to my urge to talk?

tape over muth, sielnce, be quiet, mouth shut, saying nothing A man with tape over his mouth.via Canva/Photos

The WAIT method is a good way to avoid talking too much. In work meetings, people who overtalk risk losing everyone's attention and diluting their point to the extent that others aren't quite sure what they were trying to say. Even worse, they can come across as attention hogs or know-it-alls. Often, the people who get to the heart of the matter succinctly are the ones who are noticed and respected.

Just because you're commanding the attention of the room doesn't mean you're doing yourself any favors or helping other people in the conversation.

The WAIT method is also a great way to give yourself a breather and let things sit for a moment during a heated, emotional discussion. It gives you a chance to cool down and rethink your goals for the conversation. It can also help you avoid saying something you regret.

fight, spuse disagreement, communications skills, upset husband, argument A husband is angry with his wife. via Canva/Photos

How much should I talk in a meeting?

So if it's a work situation, like a team meeting, you don't want to be completely silent. How often should you speak up?

Cary Pfeffer, a speaking coach and media trainer, shared an example of the appropriate amount of time to talk in a meeting with six people:

"I would suggest a good measure would be three contributions over an hour-long meeting from each non-leader participant. If anyone is talking five/six/seven times you are over-participating! Allow someone else to weigh in, even if that means an occasional awkward silence. Anything less seems like your voice is just not being represented, and anything over three contributions is too much."

Ultimately, the WAIT method is about taking a second to make sure you're not just talking to hear yourself speak. It helps ensure that you have a clear goal for participating in the conversation and that you're adding value for others. Knowing when and why to say something is the best way to make a positive contribution and avoid shooting yourself in the foot.

Learning

Video games used to build the cognitive skills Gen Alpha is missing out on. It's an easy fix.

"Children in the '90s played games that forced the brain to fail and try again."

video games; cognitive decline; cognitive skills; Gen Alpha; Millennials; Gen Z; old school gaming

Kids playing video games.

There was nothing more frustrating as a kid in the '90s than almost completing a level in a game only to hear that dreaded sound. It was your last life blinking before your eyes. Your only choice was to start over or turn off the video game and try again tomorrow. There was no getting around the fact that you were going to have to do it all over again, but next time you'd be faster, smarter, and better prepared than the last.

This is a skill that was built through repetition for Millennials and Gen X. That small annoyance in older video games exercised a muscle that would be helpful throughout life—one that increased the cognitive skills of these two older generations. And while older Gen Zers experienced this important brain development tool built into older video games, younger Gen Zers and Gen Alpha are critically missing out.


video games; cognitive decline; cognitive skills; Gen Alpha; Millennials; Gen Z; old school gaming Two kids enjoying a video game together on the couch. 🎮✨Photo credit: Canva

The brain development skills consistently present in video games from the late '70s through the '90s were frustration tolerance, critical thinking skills, delayed gratification, and pattern recognition. Licensed mental health counselor and former teacher, Veronica Lichtenstein, discussed '90s video games with Newsweek, saying, "You fought through levels, memorized patterns and finally saw the ending. It felt like you accomplished something. Your brain gave you this solid, lasting dose of satisfaction, like finishing a tough project.”

In a video by The Pizza Breakroom on Instagram, two men discuss an article allegedly written by a psychologist exploring this very phenomenon. "He said children in the '90s played games that forced the brain to fail and try again," one man reads. "Mario, Sonic, Prince of Persia, you had three lives, no saves, no hints. When you lost you learned patience, planning, and frustration tolerance. Today, many games guide kids step-by-step. Autosave every ten seconds and removes real challenge."

Games like Roblox and Minecraft, which a lot of kids enjoy playing, are never-ending. The game seems to be designed to encourage the player to spend money to keep up with trends, such as offering new "skins." This isn't game money; it's actual money that requires an adult's debit or credit card. There are no significant rewards offered through the satisfaction of beating a level or the game in its entirety. If a child is struggling in the room they chose to play in, the game allows them to leave and enter a different room filled with different players.

“Nineties games are a challenge for building your skills. Today’s games are often a test for your psychological resistance. A great deal are built to track, exploit and addict,” Lichtenstein shares with Newsweek.

video games; cognitive decline; cognitive skills; Gen Alpha; Millennials; Gen Z; old school gaming Family gaming fun: everyone is focused and competitive!Photo credit: Canva

But all hope is not lost on building these important skills in the youngest generations. Nineties games are still around, along with their original, refurbished consoles. There are also all-in-one Nintendo and Sega consoles that have all the '90s games preloaded. Parents can encourage video game play on actual consoles, not tablets or computers. A big perk is also that parents can actually get to play with their child while jogging their own memory of cheat codes and game layout.

For some, it may be difficult to watch their child struggle to figure out how to move through the old school games, but the point is for them to learn frustration tolerance and other cognitive skills. These skills are essential to navigate the world as an adult, and introducing kids to the games their parents played at their age is a fun way to do it.