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The science behind procrastination and how you can beat it.

I’m sorry to disappoint you, but when it comes to procrastination, freedom is your enemy.

Procrastination has been around since the start of modern civilization.

All images by Darius Foroux, used with permission.


Historical figures like Herodotus, Leonardo da Vinci, Pablo Picasso, Benjamin Franklin, Eleanor Roosevelt, and hundreds of others have talked about how procrastination is the enemy of results.

One of my favorite quotes about procrastination is often attributed to Abraham Lincoln: "You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today."

The funny thing about procrastination is that we all know that it’s harmful.

Who actually likes to procrastinate? No one enjoys doing that. Me neither.

And yet, procrastination was the story of my life. When I was in college, this would happen every semester:

In the beginning of each semester, I was the coolest mofo on the planet. Relaxing, going out, enjoying myself. Big time.

I experienced no stress whatsoever. However, about a week before my exams, I would freak out. "Dude, why didn’t you begin earlier?" I would tell myself.

And what would follow is an ugly sight of me, with a bunch of Red Bull cans, locked up in my room, freaking out while I was studying.

Research shows exactly that: When you procrastinate, you might feel better in the short-term, but you will suffer in the long-term.

It doesn’t really matter why you procrastinate. Some love the pressure of deadlines. Some are afraid to fail so they put it off until the very last moment. But one thing that all procrastinators have in common is that procrastination has a price.

A highly cited study from the American Psychological Society journal, by Dianne Tice and Roy Baumeister, discusses the cost of procrastination. They found that it is related to:

  • Depression
  • Irrational beliefs
  • Low self-esteem
  • Anxiety
  • Stress

So when it comes down to the research, procrastination is not innocent behavior. Scientists believe it’s a sign of poor self-regulation — and they even compare procrastination to alcohol and drug abuse.

Why do we procrastinate anyway? Most people who procrastinate will tell you that it’s a habit that just sneaks into your system.

The years after I got out of college were again a struggle in terms of starting and finishing work. It’s not something you can shake easily. Every time I had a business idea or wanted to start something, it went like this:

Every time I had an idea or a goal, I would start, but along the way, things would go wrong. I went from start to total chaos.

Distractions, other ideas, other opportunities, failure, negative self-talk, etc., would get in the way.

And the results are always the same: I never get anything done.

To me, the key finding from that study I mentioned before is this:

"The present evidence suggests that procrastinators enjoy themselves rather than working at assigned tasks, until the rising pressure of imminent deadlines forces them to get to work. In this view, procrastination may derive from a lack of self-regulation and hence a dependency on externally imposed forces to motivate work."

Self-regulation, self-control, and willpower are all things that we overestimate. We think: "Yeah sure, I will write a novel in three weeks." In our minds, we’re all geniuses and mentally strong. But when the work comes, we cop out.

Sure, everybody fears to step outside of their comfort zone — that’s why we call them comfort zones. It takes courage to make a bold move. But it sure doesn’t take any courage to complete small tasks like paying bills, printing out something for your boss, doing taxes, etc.

The truth is, procrastination has nothing to do with the actual task either.

For me, completing tasks — any tasks — while procrastinating went like this:

There comes a moment, I call it "the slope of procrastination," when you give into one distraction and you give up being productive.

And it always starts with just one thing. You think: Let’s watch the news for a second.

Then you think: I might as well watch one episode of "Game of Thrones." Then, a Casey Neistat vlog. And then another YouTube video. Then, a little bit of Facebook. And so forth.

It ends with a bang: "This is the last time I’ll waste my time!" Yeah, right.

What we really need, according to all of this research, is a system for doing work.

A lot of people shy away from routines, systems and frameworks because they want to have "freedom."

But I’m sorry to disappoint you: When it comes to procrastinating, freedom is your enemy! If you want to get things done, you need rules.

What are some things that research proved to be effective?

  • Self-imposed deadlines
  • Accountability systems (commitment with friends or a coach)
  • Working/studying in intervals
  • Exercising 30 minutes a day
  • A healthy diet
  • Eliminating distractions
  • And most importantly: internal motivation

If you combine all of those things, you'll have a system.

The deadlines create urgency, accountability will create responsibility, working in intervals improves your focus, exercising will give you more energy, so does a healthy diet, and eliminating distractions will take away the temptations.

But there’s no system that can help you if you don’t have an inner drive. People overcomplicate that concept, but it’s simple:Why do you do what you do? If you don’t know. Make something up. That's your motivation.

If you know why you’re doing something, even the most annoying tasks might become bearable.

Those tasks will become a part of the bigger picture.

So, instead of diving into work, take a step back and think about why you do what you do. Then create a system that supports that. It’s not rocket science. Just science. And maybe it’ll help you become more productive!

Nolan Reid / TikTok

There's an old joke slash meme that goes something like this:

"Guys literally only want one thing and it's disgusting."

Its used to imply, obviously, that men are shallow and crude creatures.

TikTok creator and simple-life advocate Nolan Reid, however, has a different idea of what men really want.



Nolan recently made a video about "Little things in life that make men happy."

The hilarious list includes:

  • A fridge full of beer.
  • Drinking said beer in the garage. With your dog. And a good buddy.
  • Finding a cool stick.
  • Kicking a rock.
  • Staring at water.
  • Dropping rocks into said water.

As a fellow man, I would say: Yeah. That pretty much covers it.

It really doesn't take much! Watch Nolan's full video to see the rest, and just appreciate how much joy and satisfaction he gets from these simple thing.

People loved Nolan's list – so much so that they began adding their own ideas of "simple things men love."

The video racked up hundreds of thousands of views across TikTok and Instagram.

One commenter wrote, "He just described my whole personality." Another added, "This guy gets it."

Others chimed in with their own additions to the list, like staring at a fire for hours. Or just peace and quiet.

But most of the nearly 200 comments were just people chiming in to say one thing:

"Hell yeah."

Finally, someone who understands us.

Nolan's ultra-relaxed vision of "masculinity" is honestly so refreshing.

Men on social media are usually bombarded with the Andrew Tates and Jordan Petersons of the world, influencers who constantly berate us to make more money, lose weight and add muscle, sleep with more women, take charge, relentlessly self-improve.

I like Nolan's much chiller idea of masculinity. It reminds me of being a kid, taking pleasure in the simple things, not racing to be anywhere, not trying to impress anyone or prove anything.

Nolan's entire account is a breath of fresh air, an antidote to hustle culture. His videos find joy in:

  • Breaking down cardboard boxes
  • Driving at sunset
  • Going fishing
  • Throwing a frisbee
  • Wearing t-shirts
A daily visit to his page is almost like a meditation. I highly recommend giving him a follow to add a little counterprogramming to your social media feed.

Nolan says in another recent video that he started making TikToks and Instagram reels just for fun, but discovered along the way that he was really passionate about the message.

"I never thought that my simple living and love for little things would resonate with so many of you."

He said he hopes to inspire people to "take a step back and enjoy the good simple things in life."

I suddenly have the urge to go chuck a rock into a river, so I would say: Mission Accomplished!

Family

Technology expert shares the one message that can get teens to rethink their screentime

“Social media is free because you pay for it with your time.”

via Dino Ambrosi (used with permission)

Dino Ambrosi speaks at a school assembly.

In a 2023 TEDx Talk at Laguna Blanca School, Dino Ambrosi made a startling revelation that perfectly underlines the big question of the smartphone era: What is my time worth? Ambrosi is the founder of Project Reboot and an expert at guiding teens and young adults to develop more empowering relationships with technology.

Assuming the average person now lives to 90, after calculating the average time they spend sleeping, going to school, working, cooking, eating, doing chores, sleeping, and taking care of personal hygiene, today’s 18-year-olds have only 334 months of their adult lives to themselves.

"How you spend this time will determine the quality of your life,” Ambrosi says. However, given the tech habits of today’s young people, most of those months will be spent staring at screens, leaving them with just 32 months to leave their mark on the world. "Today, the average 18-year-old in the United States is on pace to spend 93% of their remaining free time looking at a screen,” Ambrosi says.



dino ambrosi, teens and technology, smartphone addictionAn 18-year-olds remaining time, in months. via TEDx

The idea that an entire generation will spend most of their free time in front of screens is chilling. However, the message has a silver lining. Sharing this information with young people can immediately impact how they spend their time.

How to get teens to reduce their screentime

Ambrosi says his work with Project Reboot through on-campus initiatives, school assemblies, and parent workshops has taught him that teens are more concerned about time wasted on their phones than the damage it may do to their mental health. Knowing the topic that resonates can open the door for an effective dialogue about a topic that’s hard for many young people to discuss. When teens realize they are giving their entire lives away for free, they are more apt to reconsider their relationship with smartphones.

“I actually don't get through to a lot of teens, as well as when I help them realize the value of their time and then highlight the fact that that time is being stolen from them,” Ambrosi told Upworthy.

A Common Sense Media study shows that the average 13 to 18-year-old, as of 2021, spent an average of 8 hours and 39 minutes a day on entertainment screentime.

“It’s important to get them to view time as their most valuable resource that they can use to invest in themselves or enjoy life and tick the boxes on their bucket list. I really want them to see that that's something they should take control of and prioritize because we're all under the impression that social media is free, but it's actually not free. We just pay for it with our time.”

dino ambrosi, project reboot, teens smartphonesDino AMbrosi speaks at Berkeley.via Dino Ambrosi (used with permission)

Ambrosi believes that young people are less likely to hand their time to tech companies for free when they understand its value. “I find that kids really respond to that message because nobody wants to feel manipulated, right? And giving them that sense of being wronged, which I think they have been, by tech companies that are off operating on business models that are not aligned with their well-being, is important.”

He also believes parents should be sympathetic and nonjudgmental when talking to young people about screentime because it’s a struggle that just about everyone faces and feels shame about. A little understanding will prevent them from shutting down the conversation altogether.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

How to reduce my screentime

Ambrosi has some suggestions to help people reduce their screentime.

The ClearSpace app

ClearSpace forces you to take a breathing delay before using a distracting app. It also asks you to set a time limit and allows you to set a number of visits to the site per day. If you eclipse the number of visits, it sends a text to a friend saying you exceeded your budget. This can help people be accountable for one another’s screentime goals.

Don’t sleep with your phone

Ambrosi says to charge your phone far away from your bedside stand when you sleep and use an alarm clock to wake up. If you do have an alarm clock on your phone, set up an automation so that as soon as you turn off the alarm, it opens up an app like Flora or Forest and starts an hour-long timer that incentivizes you to be off your phone for the first hour of the day.

“In my experience, if you can stay off screens for the last hour and the first hour of the day, the other 22 hours get a lot easier because you get the quality rest and sleep that you need to wake up fully charged, and now you're more capable of being intentional because you are at your best," Ambrosi told Upworty.

Keep apps in one place

Ambrosi says to keep all of your social apps and logins on one device. “I try to designate a specific use for each device as much as possible,” he told Upworthy. “I try to keep all my social media time and all my entertainment on my phone as opposed to my computer because I want my computer to be a tool for work.”

Even though there are significant challenges ahead for young people as they try to navigate a screen-based world while keeping them at a healthy distance, Ambrosi is optimistic about the future.

“I'm really optimistic because I have seen in the last year, in particular, that the receptiveness of student audiences has increased by almost an order of magnitude. Kids are waking up to the fact that this is the problem. They want to have this conversation,” he told Upworthy. “Some clubs are starting to address this problem at several schools right now; from the talks I've given this semester alone, kids want to be involved in this conversation. They're creating phone-free spaces on college and high school campuses by their own accord. I just think we have a huge potential to leverage this moment to move things in the right direction.”

For more information on Ambrosi’s programs, visit ProjectReboot.School.

Karl Eccleston and Fiona Pepper star in "Skwerl."

If you are a native English speaker, it is probably hard to imagine what people who don’t speak the language hear when you are talking. “Skwerl,” a short film by Karl Eccleston and Brian Fairbairn, attempts to demonstrate what English sounds like to people who don’t speak the language.

The film was created in 2011 for Kino Sydney, “a monthly open-mic night for filmmakers” based in Sydney, Australia. Since being posted to YouTube 12 years ago, it has received over 52 million views.


The short film stars Eccleston and Australian actress Fiona Pepper as a couple whose special evening is disrupted when underlying relationship tensions creep up.

Warning: Strong language

Here's a sample of the script:

THE MAN

So I ran to yourk around the wash today.

THE WOMAN

Oh?

THE MAN

Yeah. That doll's areen blunderface. Can berave that mory alpen john. Joo flan by the long blatt call?

THE WOMAN

Yeah. I coon by the mex areen. Oh you bleed that pribadium by the ronfort line today?

The video received some thoughtful reactions in the comments section. The SkyWolfie6655 summed it up perfectly: “As an English speaker, it feels like I SHOULD be understanding this and I'm just not, like I've heard them wrong or something, this is really well done.”

The film also connected with people who learned English as a second language. “Man, that's exactly what I used to hear when I was younger, before learning English properly. This is actually quite nostalgic,” another wrote.

The video also is an excellent example of what people with a disability may hear even if they speak the language. “This is kind of what it feels like to have auditory processing disorder,” HorseFace1044 wrote. “It's super frustrating because you can almost get what the person is saying, but not quite enough to understand what in the world they are talking about.”


This article originally appeared on 8.19.23

“What things are frowned upon for no obvious reason?”

There are a lot of things that people are socialized to look down on that aren’t all that bad when you take two minutes to think about them. But the problem is that people are hard-wired to make snap judgments about others when it’s none of their business.

According to The Learning Mind, Harvard psychologist Amy Cuddy, Ph.D. says we make quick judgments about people for two reasons.

First, we want to make sure they are trustworthy. “If we don’t feel we can trust someone, we instinctively feel the need to protect ourselves and our interests. We respond to the warmth of a person, their openness and authenticity,” Francesca Forsythe writes at The Learning Mind.

Second, we want to know if someone is worthy of our respect. “This question revolves around how competent we deem a person to be. This comes from the qualifications or specific expertise and experience,” Forsythe continues.


Being that just about everyone we encounter is constantly making judgments, it’s our job to seriously consider which ones we all allow to affect us. Conversely, it’s also our responsibility to be conscious enough to avoid being reflexively judgmental of others.

Both are very difficult tasks.

A Reddit user by the name fren-z703 asked the online forum a question that plays perfectly into the problem of snap judgments outlined by Cuddy. The Reddit user asked, “What things are frowned upon for no obvious reason?”

The post received a ton of great responses and a lot of them dealt with social behaviors that others may deem untrustworthy such as being quiet or going places alone. But what's so bad about keeping to one's self?

There were also a lot of responses where people are judged because they make decisions that show a disregard for status. Some people think that people who are unconcerned with status aren't worthy of their respect. When, in reality, it may be the height of enlightenment.

Here are 19 of the best responses to the question, “What things are frowned upon for no obvious reason?”

1. 

"Spending time by yourself that is intentionally 'non-productive.'" — myaskredditalt21

2. 

"Getting the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu." — fizzytangerines

3. 

"Getting help for anything." — gliitch0xFF

4. 

"Going out alone. Anywhere. Park, cinema, restaurants. All my friends and relatives think I'm weird, but I just want to have some good time with nobody I know around." — North_15

5. 

"Confidently being quiet/silent." — Celq124

6. 

"Certain jobs. If you tell someone you’ve been a janitor for 6 years there’s a good chance their response will be a frown." — Jabber-Wookie

7. 

"Calling out sick when you’re actually sick. Especially when it’s more than one day." — Snoo-6071

8. 

"Not having an opinion on a subject." — flacocaradeperro

9. 

"Off-brand clothing. Who cares if I'm wearing Bobos, I don't have $300 to spend on Jordan's and even if I did I wouldn't. My daughter is entering middle school this year and is so nervous about her clothing not being in style. We do the best we can getting her name-brand things bc kids are fucking mean. Luckily my triplets don't give AF." — Fun-Oraganization8742

10. 

"Going to a movie by yourself. You literally sit there quietly watching a screen for hours. I usually catch them by myself, but people act like I'm disposing of a body when I do that." — yankstraveler

11. 

"As a dude, ordering a sweet and fruity alcoholic drink. Sorry I don't like to drink isopropyl, give me my 'Bahama Mama,' and shut up." — gummby8

12. 

"Talking about your salary. Frowned upon and people think you aren't supposed to do it but that's just the man trying to keep your pay as low as possible!" — Mister_JayB

13. 

"Having a slightly different sleep schedule/ability than others. My god, the number of times I've harassed by Boomers for "staying up late/all night" when I stayed up 1-2 hours later than them, slept in the same amount, and maybe didn't have breakfast with them. They act as if I've murdered a child." — ephemere66

14.

"Being a recovered addict. There’s so much stigma towards the disease of addiction and people see you as a monster when in reality you’re just trying to be a better person dealing with a mental illness that overpowers you if you don’t learn how to control it." — csrlmnv

15. 

"Men watching their own children. We usually get the 'Oh babysitting today are we?' No Karen, I'm doing what a parent is supposed to do and taking care of my kids, maybe if you'd pay a bit more attention to your demon spawn it wouldn't be trying to choke that goose to death over there." — Rare-Outside-8105

16. 

"Being a male in the early years education sector. When I was an ECE teacher (Early childhood educator) I had a male collègue. Parents etc were always worried about him with their kids—but he was a better teacher than most. He used a rough and tumble play approach and kids loved him. He also taught them boundaries and consent at a young age because a lot of kids weren’t listening to 'keep your hands to yourself.'" — Apprehnsive_Oven924

17. 

"Taking care of your mental health." — ABAxStorm

18. 

"Wearing your pajamas all day when you aren't going anywhere. like bruh do you want me to step into a suit and tie for literally nobody, if im gonna be in my house sleeping all day then im gonna look like it." — SeaShark14

19. 

"Choosing to not have children." — ParfaitOrganic3597

This article originally appeared on 7.7.22

Tony and Rambo.

Earlier this month, Stephen Colbert blew humanity’s collective mind by showing a video of a female orangutan driving a golf cart. Not only was the ape an accomplished motorist but she drove in style with just one hand on the wheel, looking as cool and confident as any human.

While Colbert joked that the orangutan was in Florida, it was actually part of a menagerie in Dubai belonging to Sheikha Fatima Rashed Al Maktoum, the daughter of Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, the prime minister of the United Arab Emirates.

The orangutan is named Rambo and has been driving various vehicles since she was young.


A YouTube user by the name of SmelfordDip noticed the ape’s cool one-handed driving technique and something clicked. She drives just like Tony Soprano in the iconic opening credits of “The Sopranos"! So he edited the video to mimic the sequence and added the show’s theme song "Woke Up This Morning" by Alabama 3.

Smelfordip named the video “The Zoopranos” and asks “What if Tony Soprano was [a] monkey?” in the video’s description.

Zoopranos

The only thing that could take this incredible mashup of an unbelievable video to the next level would be to invite Rambo to New Jersey, throw her behind the wheel of a Cadillac, give her a very large cigar and let her cruise the turnpike in a Cadillac.


This article originally appeared on 1.13.22