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The most compelling argument for students keeping their phones in class is also the worst one

It's utterly ridiculous that guns have to be part of this conversation.

girl sitting at desk on cell phone
Photo by RDNE Stock project/Pexels

Students don't need their cell phones in class. But is that always true in the U.S.?

Should students be allowed to have cell phones with them in class? This question has been plaguing schools, teachers, parents and students for the past 15 years, with little consensus. It's as if we've been conducting an experiment of sorts with kids and teens, as smartphones can be both powerful tools and problematic distractions.

There are arguments to be made on both sides, one argument in favor of letting students have their phones in class is particularly compelling. It's also particularly disturbing.

What if a school shooting happens?

It's a ridiculous question that parents and students have to ask—not because it's not possible, but because it is possible. We all know it can happen because we've watched mass shootings play out in American classrooms, hallways, libraries and cafeterias over and over and over. Kids in this country know exactly what to do if a person with a gun opens fire in their school. And yet all those active shooter drills and all the thoughts and prayers after each shooting hasn't prevented it from happening again.

Do other countries ban cell phones in classrooms?

Other countries have had to have the cell-phones-in-class conversation, but other countries don't have "What about our regularly scheduled school shootings?" as a legitimate argument in that conversation. Parents in the U.K., Italy, Japan—they don't ask "What if a school shooting happens?" because they're too rare to even consider.

Here's an eye-opening statistic: From January 1, 2009 to May 21, 2018, the U.S. had 288 school shootings where at least one person, not including the shooter, was shot on school grounds. During that same time frame, the other G7 countries (Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan and the U.K.) had five school shootings. Not five each—five total between all six countries.

And since 2018, we've kept right on going. We've already had 45 school shootings in 2024 alone. Most shootings in schools don't make national news—just the "mass" shootings, which happen way too often. When the citizens of a country can easily rattle off school shootings like they're listing football teams—Columbine, Sandy Hook, Parkland, Uvalde, Virginia Tech—we have to admit we have a problem.

And that problem influences our lives in more ways than we realize. A seemingly straightforward question—"Should kids have cell phones in class?"—is absurdly complicated by the reality of gun violence in America. In a reasonable world, the answer would be "No, of course they shouldn't have cell phones in class." England, France, Netherlands, Finland, Sweden, China, Australia, Greece, Russia, Ghana, Uganda and other nations have established prohibitions against cell phones in classrooms, with Sweden even banning them during breaks between classes. It definitely can be done.

School is the one place where they're supervised and surrounded by peers, so there's really no need for students to have a phone on them during school hours. Generations of people survived entire childhoods and teenhoods without carrying a phone, and even if they need it to coordinate rides after school or whatever, it's not a necessity during class.

Unless, of course, there's an emergency. One that's immediate and life-threatening, but doesn't allow them to evacuate. One that traps kids inside their classrooms with just enough time to text their parents while waiting to see if they and their classmates are going to be killed or have to watch one another die.

In most places, that kind of an emergency would be so unlikely it wouldn't even be considered as part of the conversation. In the U.S. it's a real possibility that must be taken into account.

What are the chances of experiencing a school shooting?

The chances that a child will be killed in a school shooting is statistically pretty small, even with the number of shootings we have. And yet, it's astronomically higher in the U.S. compared to other countries. And that risk has risen dramatically over time, with the American College of Surgeons reporting that school shootings have quadrupled since 1970.

The most damning statistic when it comes to kids and guns is that gun violence has been the leading cause of death for children ages 1 to 18 in the U.S. since 2020. More children and teens are killed by guns than by any illness or accident in this country. Johns Hopkins calls gun violence a public health epidemic, and the U.S. surgeon general has declared it an "urgent public health crisis." And it's not getting better.

Those statistics are only talking about deaths, though. Gun violence entails more than just the people being shot to death. What about life-altering injuries that result from gun violence? What about the lifelong impact of witnessing your friends, classmates and teachers being shot? For every kid killed by a firearm there are many more who are seeing and experiencing it and having to live with that trauma.

Students know this. Parents know this. That's why so many are hesitant to have kids store their cell phones during class time. There are solutions that would keep call phones nearby but not allow them to be a distraction in class, but that doesn't change the fact that we have to talk about guns when we're talking about student cell phone use—nor does it change how ridiculous it is that guns are any part of that equation.

Cell phones in classrooms are a real problem, but when compared to a gunman shooting up your kid's classroom, that problem seems trivial and unimportant. We're losing the ability to solve problems on so many levels because we refuse to treat a crisis like a crisis. The answer to "What if a school shooting happens?" in response to "Should students have cell phones in class?" can't be, "Eh, don't worry about it." American families already are worried about it. We can't address the cell phones in class issue without also addressing the gun violence crisis issue, because for students in U.S. schools, the two are intertwined whether we like it or not.

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Joy

Sorry, Labradors. After 31 years, America has a new favorite dog.

The American Kennel Club has crowned a new favorite.

via Pixabay

A sad-looking Labrador Retriever

The sweet-faced, loveable Labrador Retriever is no longer America’s favorite dog breed. The breed best known for having a heart of gold has been replaced by the smaller, more urban-friendly French Bulldog.

According to the American Kennel Club, for the past 31 years, the Labrador Retriever was America’s favorite dog, but it was eclipsed in 2022 by the Frenchie. The rankings are based on nearly 716,500 dogs newly registered in 2022, of which about 1 in 7 were Frenchies. Around 108,000 French Bulldogs were recorded in the U.S. in 2022, surpassing Labrador Retrievers by over 21,000.

The French Bulldog’s popularity has grown exponentially over the past decade. They were the #14 most popular breed in 2012, and since then, registrations have gone up 1,000%, bringing them to the top of the breed popularity rankings.

The AKC says that the American Hairless Terrier, Gordon Setter, Italian Greyhound and Anatolian Shepherd Dog also grew in popularity between 2021 and 2022.

The French Bulldog was famous among America’s upper class around the turn of the 20th century but then fell out of favor. Their resurgence is partly based on several celebrities who have gone public with their Frenchie love. Leonardo DiCaprio, Megan Thee Stallion, Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, Reese Witherspoon and Lady Gaga all own French Bulldogs.

The breed earned a lot of attention as show dogs last year when a Frenchie named Winston took second place at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show and first in the National Dog Show.

The breed made national news in early 2021 when Gaga’s dog walker was shot in the chest while walking two of her Frenchies in a dog heist. He recovered from his injuries, and the dogs were later returned.

They’ve also become popular because of their unique look and personalities.

“They’re comical, friendly, loving little dogs,” French Bull Dog Club of America spokesperson Patty Sosa told the AP. She said they are city-friendly with modest grooming needs and “they offer a lot in a small package.”

They are also popular with people who live in apartments. According to the AKC, Frenchies don’t bark much and do not require a lot of outdoor exercise.

The French Bulldog stands out among other breeds because it looks like a miniature bulldog but has large, expressive bat-like ears that are its trademark feature. However, their popularity isn’t without controversy. “French bulldogs can be a polarizing topic,” veterinarian Dr. Carrie Stefaniak told the AP.

american kennel club, french bulldog, most popular dog

An adorable French Bulldog

via Pixabay

French Bulldogs have been bred to have abnormally large heads, which means that large litters usually need to be delivered by C-section, an expensive procedure that can be dangerous for the mother. They are also prone to multiple health problems, including skin, ear, and eye infections. Their flat face means they often suffer from respiratory problems and heat intolerance.

Frenchies are also more prone to spine deformations and nerve pain as they age.

Here are the AKC’s top ten most popular dog breeds for 2022.

1 French Bulldogs

2 Labrador Retrievers

3 Golden Retrievers

4 German Shepherd Dogs

5 Poodles

6 Bulldogs

7 Rottweilers

8 Beagles

9 Dachshunds

10 German Shorthaired Pointers


This article originally appeared on 03.17.23

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Family

Woman's viral posts about her dad's 'discussion agendas' are hilarious and inspiring

Packers football, family updates, and of course, General Discussion.

Photo by Giovanna Gomes on Unsplash

Kenzi Enright's dad, Riley, has been getting together with the same group of guys every Friday night for years.

Neither of them ever expected that the meetups, officially known as "Board Meetings," would eventually make them both Internet-famous.

One night in late 2022, Kenzi's dad invited her out with the boys and caught her off guard when he handed her a printed agenda full of discussion topics for the evening.

On deck for the night?

  • Jordan Love
  • World Cup
  • China and Russia
  • After Christmas party with the boys
  • and General Discussion

Kenzi found it so hilarious that she shared the agenda on Twitter, where it instantly went viral.

Some people found the structured approach to hanging out impressive, while others just thought the over-the-top dad vibes were adorable.

Kenzi began sharing the agendas almost every Friday — and has kept the gag going for nearly two years.

The formal discussion topics started as a joke.

Riley and his friends found a coaster at their bar table one night with some hard-to-read writing on it, and one of them joked that it must have been a previous group's agenda.

From there, the group began discussing their own agendas for the evening before meeting up, and soon, Riley was printing them out before each Board Meeting.

Sometimes the guys include little notes like "Please be on time, we have a lot to get through," or "Please take good notes." Sometimes there are guest speakers on the docket, including Kenzi.

After the initial laughs and virality wore off, Kenzi's dad and his friends found they actually liked having an agenda for their meetups. So they decided to keep it rolling.

By now, Kenzi has posted over 60 updates — with an audience of thousands eagerly awaiting each one!

The agendas may have started as a joke, but they serve an important purpose — and hold a valuable lesson.

"We found ourselves going down some rabbit holes. Political things and whatnot would get in the way, and life would get in the way of things," Riley told People.

"We found ourselves getting away from the fun and into kind of depressing things. So we made a vow to each other — no politics, no depressing things. We're just going to get together and have fun."

According to the agendas, The Board discusses a wide range of topics, from sports (the Green Bay Packers make a lot of appearances on the lists), to pop culture, to home repair, family, life updates, and more.

The gang has a lot of fun hamming up the discussion guides, but the fact that the joke has lasted this long is pretty amazing.

It's no secret that there's an epidemic of male loneliness in America. A 2021 survey found that a shocking 15 percent of men reported having no close friends.

The isolation is even more pronounced in younger generations, with a survey from 2023 discovering that a staggering 65% of men ages 18-23 agreed with the statement "No one really knows me well."

The same study found that 40% of all men surveyed showed depressive symptoms.

Guys everywhere can take a lesson from Riley and his friends, and from the commitment they show in getting together every single week and talking openly about real issues — something so many men struggle to do.

Your own Guy's Night Out may never go viral, but it might be a surprisingly important piece of your long-term mental health.

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Health

Here's why you're probably waking up right at 3 or 4 in the morning and how to make it stop

It happens to just about everyone.

via Polina Kovaleva/Pexels

A woman with her eye mask on in bed.

Do you often wake up at 3 or 4 a.m. with an intense feeling of anxiety? Do you get stressed that you’re awake and begin making a mental laundry list of everything you need to do the next day? Do you start thinking about fights you once had with your spouse or ponder how you have let yourself down in the past?

If so, you’re not alone. It’s common for people to wake up at 3 or 4 a.m. regularly and there’s a reason why we choose this time to catastrophize and worry. The good news is that there are some steps we can take to get through that awkward phase of the night so we can wake up refreshed.

Why do I wake up at 3 or 4 a.m. every night?

Many of us reliably wake up in the middle of the night because after we’ve had a good chunk of sleep, our bodies start to slowly prepare us for the day by reducing melatonin, the hormone that puts us to sleep and increasing levels of cortisol, the stress hormone.

That biological phase of sleep is why we start to feel stressed.

sleep, nightmares, cortisole A woman wakes up in the middle of the nightvia Oscar Calstrom/Pexels

After the big hormone release at 3 or 4 in the morning, if you are dealing with stress in your life, you are more likely to wake up. If your life is calmer and you don’t already have a stress baseline, you will probably wake up, fall asleep quickly and forget that it happened.

Why do I wake up feeling stressed in the middle of the night?

If you’re already experiencing stress in your life, that extra cortisol kick is going to cause you to wake up with a feeling of anxiety. The problem is that when we’re lying in bed in the middle of the night, we are in a vulnerable position. “Around this time in the sleep cycle, we’re at our lowest ebb physically and cognitively. From nature’s viewpoint, this is meant to be a time of physical and emotional recovery, so it’s understandable that our internal resources are low,” Greg Murray, a psychology researcher with expertise in mood, sleep, and the circadian system, writes in The Conversation.

“But we also lack other resources in the middle of the night – social connections, cultural assets, all the coping skills of an adult are unavailable at this time,” Murray continues. “With none of our human skills and capital, we are left alone in the dark with our thoughts. So the mind is partly right when it concludes the problems it’s generated are unsolvable – at 3 a.m., most problems literally would be.”


At this moment, when we’re stressed and feeling vulnerable, stuck in bed with no way out, we can begin to spiral. This is when we ruminate on why we forgot to feed the dog that one day in 1994 or contemplate why things went bad with your first significant other at 21. It’s when we start recalling a disagreement with a friend and plotting out what we’ll say the next time the issue arises.

At this point, if we don’t stop spiraling, we’ll be up until 5 a.m. and will feel like garbage when it’s time to go to work.

The good news is that there are ways to get back to sleep and stop the downward anxiety spiral.

Make a list

Dr. Jade Wu says that if you wake up and feel stressed about things you need to take care of, walk out of your room (so you don’t associate it with stressors) and make a list to read in the morning. This will free you of your worries, because you know you can care for them when you are awake.

Pay attention to your breath

Murray says you should redirect your attention from your thoughts to your breath, which is a form of meditation. “I bring my attention to my senses, specifically the sound of my breath. When I notice thoughts arising, I gently bring my attention back to the sound of breathing,” Murray writes in The Conversation. This works in 2 ways: first, it takes your attention away from your spiraling thoughts and second, the breathing exercise helps you relax.

Have a bite to eat

Sometimes, we wake up in the middle of the night because we’re hungry and our blood sugar is dropping. “The first question I ask [my patients] is, ‘When was the last time you ate?’” Michael Breus, Ph.D. psychologist specializing in sleep disorders, told Sleep.com. “Often, they’ve finished their last meal at 7 p.m.; now it’s 3 in the morning — that’s eight hours later — so guess what? They’re out of fuel.” If you’ve woken up because of a drop in blood sugar, experts recommend eating a small snack that includes protein and fat, like peanut butter.

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Internet

Mom sparks debate when she reveals entire family shares the same deodorant stick

"Why would he have his own? I'm not paying for another stick of deodorant."

Photo credit: Canva

Does your household share deodorant? Mom sparks debate.

Personal hygiene is, well...personal. Everyone has their own hygiene routine that is personalized to them, their needs and abilities. Typically no matter who you are personal hygiene includes soap, water, toothbrush, toothpaste, sometimes razors, hair care products and deodorant.

Generally, very few things that touch your body are shared with other people in your household. Many family members will share shampoo, body wash and toothpaste but that is usually where the sharing of hygiene supplies end. At least according to a lot of confused people on the internet.

The debate started after a mom took to the internet in an effort to prove her husband wrong in his way of thinking. Missusmom, complained to her 89.7K followers that her husband wants her to buy their son his own deodorant after the deodorant disappeared.

This request from her husband left the mom of three flabbergasted because the idea of buy their son his own deodorant seemed like a ridiculous request.

That's when she decides to ask the internet, "do all of the people in your house share deodorant or does each member that wears deodorant have their own stick of deodorant?"

After giving the back story to why she's asking the question, she explains what she feels the "right answer" is leaving viewers confused and some a little grossed out.

Faint Fainting GIF by DrSquatchSoapCoGiphy

"I'm not buying five to eight sticks of deodorant every month. I would need to put extra money into our budget but we all use clinical strength deodorant. That's like $10 to $12 a thing. I'm not spending $60 to $80 on deodorant just so everybody can have their own stick. Am I crazy and wrong or is he delusional, because personally I think he's delusional," Missusmom pleads her case.

Unfortunately, the results of her plea did not turn out the way in which she expected resulting in nearly 50k comments and numerous video replies explaining that it's not normal for families to share the same stick of deodorant.

Some people were very passionate about not sharing hygiene products including deodorant, toothbrushes, razors and wash cloths.

woman holding blue and white bottle Photo by Ana Essentiels on Unsplash

"Never in my life have I heard of ANYONE sharing deodorant unless they were in dire need," one person shares.

"I'm sorry but I have never known anyone who HAS shared deodorant. In fact, we all have multiple sticks. The kids have one for home, one for their gym locker, sports bag, ect.," another commenter explains to the mom.

"I have been poor, I mean poor poor but I have never shared a deodorant," someone else says.

@missusmom♬ original sound - missusmom

A few people pointed out the risk of cross contamination of skin conditions like this commenter, "toothbrushes, razors, hairbrushes, and deodorant are not a shared product. What if someone had a staph infection or impetigo?"

"I was 15 when I got a blocked duct it swelled up with puss and I had to have it lanced and drained. The suspected cause?? My brother stealing and using my deodorant and then me using it after I shaved transferring bacteria," someone warns.

Work Sweating GIFGiphy

This is something that has clearly struck a chord with people giving the mom something to think about but she's not completely alone in her thought process.

There were several comments that mentioned sharing deodorant with their significant other, though they didn't share the hygiene product with their children.

Others confessed confusion as they didn't understand why the mom's reasoning on the cost increase, "I'm confused. Aren't you finishing deodorant twice as fast by sharing anyway? So buying everyone their own stick would just make you have to replace it less frequently."

@amaramunroe #stitch with @missusmom ♬ original sound - missusmom

Is the mom onto something with sharing deodorant or should everyone have their own stick? Put your thoughts in the comments.

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How young should kids start paying rent? Mom charges teenage son to have his own room.

Is he learning a lesson or getting taken advantage of?

via Alexander Grey/Unsplash and CottonBro Studio/Pexels

A mom counting her teenage son's rent money.

A single mother of 5, 4 boys and 1 girl, found herself in a bind. Her 16-year-old son was tired of sharing a room with his 14-year-old brother and wanted some privacy. The family lives in a 3-bedroom house, where mom gets a room and the youngest 3 siblings share one as well.

"Two months ago, my son and I were discussing his distaste for sharing a room with his brother and he said he'd drop out of school now if it meant he could move out into his own space," the mother wrote on Reddit's AITA forum. The teenager has a job and enough money to buy extras such as clothes, shoes and plenty of junk food.

"I told him I had looked at 4-bedroom rentals in our area, but they were just too expensive," the mom continued. "He asked if he could pay the difference if we did move. I told him no because during the school year all his money would be going to rent not his savings and his spending money. That obviously wouldn't sit right with me."

Eventually, the two came to a compromise. For $50 a month, he could have his mother's room. The mother would sleep on the pull-out couch and the other two rooms would be split among the other four siblings.

teen sleeping, rent, redditA teenage boy sleepingvia John-Mark Smith/Pexels

The mother is putting the money towards her Christmas fund, which will be used to pay for a summer trip after the holidays.

However, after talking to some of her friends, the mother began to have second thoughts about the arrangement. "They think I'm wrong for taking any amount of money from my kids, and a couple of them said I should have just given him the room without making him pay for it. They make some good points, and I don't totally disagree," she wrote.

So she asked the Reddit forum if she was in the wrong for charging her son.

mom, upset mom, mom on computerA distressed mom looks at her laptop.via Alexander Dummer/Pexels

The responses were pretty divided on the issue, but most thought the mother was right.

"There is a wild difference between charging your underage kids rent and accepting $50 a month (that is going back to the kids) so a growing teenager can have privacy. No other children are getting less, and no one is abused by any means. Not exactly an ideal solution, but tricky problems require unconventional solutions," one commenter wrote. "I like the life lesson you are imparting. For the people saying that it's so terrible that you are charging him rent, I don't see it that way. Your son wants his own room to which he is not entitled. He works, he earns his own money, and wants something which he values. You're making him do what all of us have to do to get the things we want in life: PAY FOR IT!"

However, a vocal group of people thought the mother was in the wrong, not for charging her teenage son, but for not giving the room to her daughter, who is 9 and shares a room with her 7-year-old brother.

mom, reddit, rentA young girl wearing a scarf.via Janko Ferlic/Pexels

"Why is she not the priority when it comes to having a separate bedroom or at least sharing with you? At 9, she is at an age where it may seem like she is okay sharing a room with her brothers but she probably isn't. Girls are starting puberty and becoming self-conscious of their bodies at that age. They shouldn't have to worry about sharing a bedroom with their brothers," a commenter wrote. "So your 9 yo daughter is sharing a room with her brother? It’s time to find a better solution for your family. Your daughter is of the age that she shouldn’t be sharing anymore with boys," another added.

Plenty of people also judged the mother for having 5 children in a 3-bedroom house, but since they don't know the story surrounding her family's circumstances, that critique should be off limits.

Ultimately, the commenters agreed that the mother is doing her best in a challenging circumstance. It has to be incredibly hard raising 5 children as a single parent. Keeping them all happy in such close quarters must constantly stress everyone. Further, it seems that the 16-year-old son has his own job and can’t wait to leave the house so that the tight situation will loosen up in a few years.

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