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The 'How would a male author describe you?' Twitter challenge is a lot of fun.

"She had an ass like a plump popsicle and I deigned to admire her."

Can male authors write powerful, strong, and accurate female characters? Totally. Do many struggle with it? Well...

Author Gwen C. Katz was scrolling through Twitter, reading a thread about members of marginalized groups advocating for more work written by marginalized individuals. Of course, it went haywire — especially when a man just had to jump in to assure others that he was every bit as capable of writing an accurate female character as any woman.

"I think writers should be able to write from any perspective as long as they can pull it off. It takes research, skill, and creativity, but if a good writer can't do those things, he/she isn't a good writer, right?" he wrote. "My book is a first-person [point-of-view] and the [main character] is a woman. I'm definitely not a woman. But it works because I was able to pull it off. I reject someone saying I couldn't write a female [main character] because I'm a male, because, well, I just did. It's called writing."

Oh boy. Was he able to pull it off?

"I sauntered over, certain he noticed me. I'm hard to miss, I'd like to think — a little tall (but not too tall, a nice set of curves if I do say so myself, pants so impossibly tight that if I had a credit card in my back pocket you could read the expiration date. The rest of my outfit wasn't that remarkable, just a few old things I had lying around. You know how it is."

The thread (which you can read in its entirety here) included a few other choice passages from chapter one of this mystery book, but the point was made: Some guys just don't know how to write about women without being really weird about it.

Now, maybe you're saying to yourself, "Sure, but that's just one guy that nobody's heard of." Fair point. For another example, which was uncovered by writer Julia Carpenter, let's look to renowned author John Updike:

[rebelmouse-image 19346834 dam="1" original_size="750x246" caption="Excerpt from "The Witches of Eastwick" by John Updike." expand=1]Excerpt from "The Witches of Eastwick" by John Updike.

It's not limited to books, either. Take, for instance, this 2016 Vanity Fair profile of actress Margot Robbie, which begins:

"America is so far gone, we have to go to Australia to find a girl next door. In case you’ve missed it, her name is Margot Robbie. She is 26 and beautiful, not in that otherworldly, catwalk way but in a minor knock-around key, a blue mood, a slow dance. She is blonde but dark at the roots. She is tall but only with the help of certain shoes. She can be sexy and composed even while naked but only in character."

To be sure, there's nothing necessarily wrong with describing people or characters as sexy (though, if you don't understand how women pee, maybe don't try to go into detail about that). It's just that this type of writing is so formulaic, so common.

Twitter users had a bit of fun with the format after Whitney Reynolds recently offered a challenge: "Describe yourself like a male author would."

The replies were absolutely epic, with thousands of people responding.

Thanks to a new chart from Electric Literature, creating your own personal description is as easy as spelling your name.

The result follows this format: "She had ____ like a ____ ____ and I ____ to ____ her."

For instance, if your name were Sarah, your description would read: "She had knockers like a silken princess and I longed to proposition her." If your name was Brittany, you'd get: "She had a bust like a shrill popsicle and I ached to fondle her."

Fun, right?

"The Twitter challenge originated in response to a man who was claiming that his female characters were so convincing, they proved that there's no need to elevate a wider range of voices. White male writers can do it all!" Electric Lit editor-in-chief Jess Zimmerman says. "But when writers take on characters they don't really understand or respect, what you end up with is a kind of puppet show: all the 'real people' look the same, and everyone else is just a weak, potentially offensive bit of 2D guesswork. This is not actually good for the state of literature! It's alienating to readers and impoverishing for books."

Zimmerman elaborates, clarifying that she knows it's #NotAllMen who do this, chalking the prevalence of the detached and unnecessarily sexualized descriptions as the result of a culture that never really asks men to see things from a woman's perspective.

"That's why the joke in our generator is that the woman is described according to the man's reactions: a lot of male writers, including famous ones, never get any closer to 'imagining a woman's experience' than 'imagining my experience of a woman.' But keen observation, empathy, and the ability to take on someone else's perspective are crucial novelist skills. Male novelists should relish the effort it takes to do better."

Let's all have a laugh, and for the authors in the audience, don't let your writing become an internet meme.

Modern Families

Fed up parents explain why they 'never want to bring the kids over' to visit

Can't you guys come to us for once?

Photo by Johnny Cohen on Unsplash

It's a good news/bad news situation for parents of young kids. The good news? Everyone wants to spend time with the kids! Grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends. They all want a relationship and lots of special moments with the little ones.

The bad news? One phrase: "When are you bringing them over?" Parents have been frustrated by the expectations of orchestrating stressful visits for generations — loading the kids in a car or on an airplane only to spend hours chasing them around in an un-baby-proofed environment and watching routines go to hell.

Now they're sounding off on social media and airing their grievances.

Why visiting grandparents and other relatives is so challenging for parents

A mom recently took to Reddit to vent about everyone in her life wanting her to "bring the kids to them."

"My parents live 30 mins away and always bug me about not coming to visit them," she writes. They constantly ask, "Why don't you bring our granddaughter to come see us?"

The fascinating discussion highlights a few things that make arranging visits with young kids a potential nightmare for parents.

Grandparents' houses are rarely childproofed

Grandparents love their breakable decor! Ceramic doo-dads, glass vases everywhere. They can't get enough. And while they should be able to decorate their house however they see fit (they've earned the right!) that doesn't make it a good environment for toddlers and babies.

Ceramic bowlsThe breakable decor found in every grandparents' houseozalee.fr/Flickr

"Last week was the last straw, I took my daughter to my parents and of course she went EVERYWHERE! flooded their toilet, broke a vase, and tried multiple times to climb their furniture," the Reddit mom writes.

Parents in a foreign environment are on constant safety duty and can rarely sit down

Let's be honest. Sometimes these "visits" are hardly worth the effort. After all, it's hard to get much catch up time when you're dutifully chasing your kid around.

"They don’t understand that my 3 yo ... is absolutely wild," writes another user in the thread. "She has no self preservation and nothing we do works. She doesn’t listen, she throws, she bites, she refuses to use the potty. It’s exhausting and then ... they expect us to entertain them, when I’m trying to just keep my kid from jumping off the stairs and into an ER visit."

Even just putting the kids in the car for a 20-minute drive is more work than it seems

Taking the kids out of the house requires packing a bag, bringing extra clothes, loading up on snacks, etc.

It seems easy to "pop over" but it actually absorbs the majority of the day between prep, visit, and aftermath.

Naps and routines go to hell

Parents with babies and toddlers know all too well — there is a price to pay for taking the kids out of the house for too long.

Chances are, the baby won't nap in a strange environment and then you're stuck with a cranky kid the rest of the night.

Kids with special needs require even more consistency

Kids with autism or ADHD can really struggle outside of their zone of safety. They might become severely dysregulated, have meltdowns, or engage in dangerous behaviors.

Explaining and mediating the generational divide

man in gray sweater sitting beside woman in black and white floral long sleeve shirt Photo by Tim Kilby on Unsplash

Why is this a conflict almost all parents can relate to?

Is this a Boomer vs Millennials thing?

Some experts think that generational values and traditions might play a role.

"Many Boomers were accustomed to more traditional, hierarchical family dynamics, where visiting grandparents was a way for the younger generation to show respect," says Caitlin Slavens, a family psychologist.

But that's not to say this is a new problem. I can remember my own parents driving me and my brothers over an hour to visit my grandparents seemingly every other weekend, but very few occasions where they came to visit us. It must have driven my parents nuts back then!

Plus, it's easy to forget that it's hard for older people to travel, too. They may have their own issues and discomforts when it comes to being away from their home.

"But for today’s parents, balancing careers, kids’ routines, and the demands of modern parenting is a much bigger undertaking. Grandparents might not always see how childproofing their space or making the trip themselves could make a huge difference, especially considering how travel and disruption can impact younger kids' moods and routines," Slavens says.

"So yes, this divide often comes down to different expectations and life experiences, with older generations potentially not seeing the daily demands modern families face."

Is there any hope for parents and grandparents coming to a better understanding, or a compromise?

"First, open conversations help bridge the divide—explain how much of a difference it makes when the kids stay in a familiar space, especially when they’re very young," suggests Slavens.

"Share practical details about the challenges, like childproofing concerns or travel expenses, to help grandparents see it from a parent’s perspective. You might even work together to figure out solutions, like making adjustments to create a more child-friendly space in their home or agreeing on a shared travel plan."

Ultimately, it's a good thing when grandparents, friends, and other relatives want to see the kids.

We all have the same goal.

"It’s helpful to approach the topic with empathy, focusing on everyone’s goal: more quality time together that’s enjoyable and low-stress for everyone involved. For parents, it’s about setting boundaries that work, and for grandparents, it’s about recognizing that flexibility can really show the parents that you are ... willing to make adjustments for their children and grandchildren."

Enjoyable, low-stress quality time — that's something everyone can get behind.

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Pop Culture

Crafty cat mom builds a Wes Anderson inspired 'mini bedroom' for her kitty

Most human bedrooms aren't this cool.

@taylorquitara/TikTok

This is next level cat parenting.

Listen, do pet parents need to go out of their way to provide extravagant indulgences for their fur baby in order for them to feel loved? No. But is it incredibly fun—inspiring, even—to watch when they do? Absolutely.

Take for instance Taylor Quitara’s completely decked out “mini bedroom” for her cat Giuseppe. This ingenious idea sparked when Quitara noticed her feline friend took a liking to this mysterious nook in the wall of one of the bedrooms in her home. Considering the wall paper and small light already installed, it very well could have been a small cat bedroom previously.

Quitara, a multifaceted artist who clearly knows her way around DIY home decor, quickly got to work, swapping out the black and white wallpaper for a fun and whimsical pattern with zebras (which just so happened to feature in The Royal Tenenbaums), staining and assembling a toy bed she found from Ikea, buying a lovely blue couch that doubles as a scratching pad, installing a climbing gym, and even putting up a gallery wall.

Throughout her journey, which she shared on TikTok, it’s clear that this is a labor of love in the purest form. Quitara is having the time of her life applying all her creativity to making her fur baby’s life that much more enjoyable. And the results pretty much speak for themselves.

@taylorquitara his room is nicer than mine!!!! #interiordecor #homedecorideas #nycapartment ♬ White Winter Hymnal - Fleet Foxes

Ugh, cuteness overload! And while not every cat owner certainly doesn't need to apply this level of extra to their cat’s sanctuary, it is important that they do have some comfy places to just chill by themselves for an hour or two.

How to create the purrfect kitty sanctuary

You can go create one solid space, like Quitara’s mini bedroom or a small “catio,” or, alternatively, you can opt for multiple smaller hiding spaces throughout your home, so long as they provide a bit of peace and quiet—as well as scratching opportunities.

It’s great to have both vertical spaces that require climbing, such as a cat tree, hammock, shelf, or perch, as well as a small horizontal space for nestling in, like a small box or basket. Many cat parents leave a designated space for their cat under the bed in a closet, or at the bottom of a bookshelf, for instance. Point being: you can get creative with this.

It’s also worth noting that no matter what safe space you provide for kitty, they might not take to it overnight. Even Quitara noted that Giuseppe hasn’t actually slept in his mini bedroom yet. Still looks incredibly cool though.

And perhaps the bigger point in all this is—there’s so much joy, love, creative expression [insert any positive emotion you wish] to be had when we put our heart and soul into providing the best possible life for our pets. It’s not about just buying them the bougiest food or the most expensive toy on the market, but the amount of love and energy we contribute. And what an amazing gift it is to give that.

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Popular

Scottish woman can't understand what the Americans who rented her apartment left behind

"It's An American thing." Is it?

via Canva/Photos and Vallgall/Flickr

A woman is shocked when she moves into her new apartment.

There has been a lot of fun chatter online about how Americans are different from Europeans in many ways. The most often cited differences are that Americans are incredibly friendly (to everyone), love to carry massive bottles of water with them everywhere, and have very loud voices. There are also differences when it comes to their homes. Americans love having large refrigerators, stocking up on groceries, and buying in bulk. Europeans tend to favor regular trips to the store and have a small fridge.

Author Willow Heath of Scotland recently added another thing to the list in her viral TikTok. She explains the confusion she experienced when moving into an apartment where an American couple previously lived. “Question for all the Americans out there. I have just moved into a new place here in Scotland, and previously, this flat was lived in by an American couple,” Health said. “I showed my friend who now lives in L.A. a curious thing about this flat, and they said, ‘Oh yeah, yeah, it's an American thing.' And the thing I'm talking about is hooks.”

Heath then shared all of the hooks she found in the apartment that were not removed after the couple left.

@willowtalksbooks

Do Americans love hooks? #usa #uk

Heath also noted there was a lazy Susan in the refrigerator that she had never seen before. “I've never seen this before. It's actually really cool,” she said, playing with the rotating plastic tray… “It turns around so you can get at things that are at the back so you don't have to reach all the way to the back … my friend said this is also an American thing,” she added.

Some Americans returned fire at Heath by asking why people in the UK don’t have hooks throughout their homes. “Is everything on the floor in Scotland?” one asked. “That couple was so nice to leave all their hooks for you,” another added. One American stood strong on their hook use: “American living in England, their lack of home organizing is astounding to me.”

Another American referenced the current UK versus U.S. realization that Robbie Williams, the subject of the critically acclaimed movie “Better Man” about a rockstar chimp, is massively popular across the pond and virtually unknown in America. “Are British people spending so much time listening to Robbie Williams they don’t know what hooks are?” a commenter joked.



One commenter, most likely in the UK, blamed the excessive number of hooks on American consumer culture. “We don't buy random stuff, so no need to hang everything, Americans hoard everything,” they noted.

At the end of the video, Heath shared that she wasn’t putting Americans down; she just never realized how much they like hanging things from hooks. “I'm not saying they're not useful, and I spent time in the States. I lived in upstate New York for a few months,” Heath said. “I like the U.S., I like Americans, I'm not attacking you … I just think this is an interesting cultural difference, hooks everywhere.” The good news for Heath is that nobody took the hooks down, so she may learn why Americans love them so much. As for Robbie Williams, not so much.

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Joy

Irish couple got 'the chuckles' in video for daughter overseas. It's pure laughter therapy.

They couldn't keep it together in their baby shower message, even on their final attempt.

Representative photo credit: Canva

Sometimes you just can't keep it together.

Have you ever gotten the giggles at the most inopportune time, like when you're trying to do or say something serious? We've seen it happen to actors filming comedic scenes, news anchors during broadcasts, singers in church services, kids in spelling bees, and more. When the giggle bug bites, it bites hard, and keeping it together can sometimes feel like a superhuman feat.

That's what happened to a woman's parents in Ireland when they tried to make a heartfelt video greeting for her baby shower. The woman, Orla, was an expectant mother in Australia and her parents were creating a selfie video of love and encouragement as she got ready to welcome her little one. The problem was, neither of them could keep it together for longer than a few seconds at a time. And the best part is, it wasn't even their first try.

Her father said they'd spent 15 or 20 minutes trying to make the video and this was their final attempt. They weren't used to seeing themselves on video and it proved to be too funny to handle. But the best part is how the mom would say something heartfelt, like, "You're going to be wonderful parents," and then they'd both burst out laughing.

Watch:

People cannot get enough of their chuckles.

"Literally the best 2 min on the internet ever 😂😂😂. I love them so much. I’m so jealous of your baby for having the best grandparents on the planet. ❤️"

"And this is our final attempt that killed me. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"

"It's the sincerely at the end for me. 😂"

"I don’t know how many time i have watched it today 😂😂. Maybe twenty 🤣🤣. Such lovely parents you have 😅😍."

"😂😂😂 love their laughter! You need to save this to show that baby some day!"

"If I had a video of my parents carrying on like this, I would cherish it forever!!"

Videos like this truly feel like laughter therapy, which is a legitimate thing. In fact, laughter therapy has been used by medical professionals in some form or another for centuries. According to the MayoClinic, laughter has the following short-term and long-term therapeutic benefits for both your mental and physical health:

In the short-term, laughter can:

  • Stimulate many organs. Laughter enhances your intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released by your brain.
  • Activate and relieve your stress response. A rollicking laugh fires up and then cools down your stress response, and it can increase and then decrease your heart rate and blood pressure. The result? A good, relaxed feeling.
  • Soothe tension. Laughter can also stimulate circulation and aid muscle relaxation, both of which can help reduce some of the physical symptoms of stress.

Long-term, laughter may:

  • Improve your immune system. Negative thoughts manifest into chemical reactions that can affect your body by bringing more stress into your system and decreasing your immunity. By contrast, positive thoughts can actually release neuropeptides that help fight stress and potentially more-serious illnesses.
  • Relieve pain. Laughter may ease pain by causing the body to produce its own natural painkillers.
  • Increase personal satisfaction. Laughter can also make it easier to cope with difficult situations. It also helps you connect with other people.
  • Improve your mood. Many people experience depression, sometimes due to chronic illnesses. Laughter can help lessen your stress, depression and anxiety and may make you feel happier. It can also improve your self-esteem.
So there you go. Viral videos that make you laugh aren't just a mindless time waster after all. Here's to loving parents, raucous chuckles, shared joy and that lucky baby of Orla's who has utterly delightful grandparents over in Ireland.
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Education

A school in Northern Ireland banned smartphones and the impact was tremendous

The "buzz" is back at Lisneal College.

via Smartphone Free Childhood Northern Ireland

Students are Lisneal College in Northern Ireland.

The world has hit an interesting turning point regarding young people and smartphone use, especially in schools. After 15-plus years of letting young people have smartphones on them all day long, we’re beginning to learn that they pose a serious threat to their mental health, social development, and academics.

The most startling research shows that right around 2012, when young people started using smartphones, the U.S. and other developed nations saw an astronomical spike in mental health problems among young people, including self-harm, suicide, psychological distress, anxiety, and depression. The change in behavior among students inspired Lisneal College in Northern Ireland to become the first school in the country to be phone-free. Lisneal College is a co-educational all-ability school for 11 to 18-year-olds.

"Since the introduction of smartphones, our concerns have gradually increased," Craig Johnson, VP for Pastoral Affairs at Lisneal, told Smartphone Free Childhood Northern Ireland. “For me, I'll never forget a clear turning point, where I walked into our school canteen one day, and we had all these students sitting in round tables with their friends and every one of them on their phone, canteen nearly deathly quiet. It was just this moment of reflection and going ‘We have to do something about this and we have to start somewhere.’"

The school administration contacted the students' parents, who shared the same concerns. However, the parents didn’t know how to address the problem.

In 2023, the school implemented a phone-free program for students from years 8 to 12 (grades 7 to 12 in America). Students place their phones in lock boxes upon arrival and cannot access them during the rest of the school day. At the end of the day, they can pick up their phones before they go home. After trying the program for one term, the parents were happy and even saw changes in their kids' attitudes towards technology at home.

What are the benefits of smartphone-free schools?

The large school has had very few concerns after implementing the policy besides some grumbling from older students. One of the older kids at the school, who gave administrators some of the most pushback, later changed their mind after one month. "I'll never forget one of our pupils who had given some of the most pushback said to me after a month, 'Sir, that's been a really good thing for me,'" Johnson said.

The teachers at the school love the policy as well. "Staff were immediately seeing a difference in their classrooms. They were immediately feeding back, 'This was a really good thing,'" Johnson said.

"Pupils are definitely more present in the classroom. They are more prepared and engaged to learn. They don't feel that they are the odd man out if they don't have a mobile phone. For any other schools looking to implement this policy, I say, 'Go for it.' It was a way forward for us, and I feel that it has been real positive. It has definitely benefitted myself, as a teacher, and it has benefitted pupils,” Emma Harper, a teacher at the school, told Smartphone Free Childhood Northern Ireland.



Principal Michael Allen says smartphones are a massive distraction for students, even in their pockets or purses. “If you can imagine sitting in a classroom with a mobile phone in your pocket, even if that phone is never out, and that mobile phone buzzes, rings, chimes,” he told the BBC. "No matter how focused you are as a student, whether you decide to take that phone out and look which some pupils may do, or even if you don’t, you spend the next two or three minutes thinking, ‘Who was that? I wonder who wants me?’"

Johnson says that since the ban, children are talking more to one another and that there is a positive "buzz" and energy at the school now. Gabriella, a year 11 student at the school, says there is much less bullying now that the phones are gone. "You're building better friendships and you're learning how to not be reliable on a phone to start a conversation. So it's a better way to socialize," she said.

"[Before the ban], people would have just stayed on their phones all day, and I know that happens in other schools as well. But here, since we've got the phones took away, people engage with the classes more and they engage with each other," Luke, a year-11 student, added.

Lisneal College’s bold move to ban smartphones has proven to be a huge win for students, teachers, administrators, and parents. Who doesn't want to go to a school where students focus on their teachers, lessons, and each other rather than on their phones? As other schools consider similar rules, Lisneal’s success shows that phone-free may be the best way forward.



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