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The hidden history of tea shows us that little things can have a huge impact.

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Where did your morning cup of tea come from? If you said “the grocery store,” you’re missing a big part of the story.

It’s easy to forget the tea you enjoy actually began its journey thousands of miles away. It comes from lush tea farms up in the mountains of places like Sri Lanka or Kenya, where women carefully pick the leaves by hand. Those leaves then make their way to a local factory, where they're dried from a bright green shade to a rich, earthy brown.

Photo via Upworthy.

All of this happens before they even cross the ocean, and long before they ever arrive at your local grocery store.

Yes, even the most ordinary household staples can have extraordinary histories, with stories that span the globe. These surprising facts are just a glimpse into the rich history and impact of the tea you enjoy:

1. Tea is the second-most consumed beverage in the world.

It’s second only to water. Seriously. Global tea consumption is forecasted to reach 3.3 million tons by 2021, with more than half of that consumption coming from Asia.

In fact, on any given morning, more than 50% of Americans are drinking it — around 158 million people.

[rebelmouse-image 19346982 dam="1" original_size="5008x3336" caption="Photo by Joanna Kosinska/Unsplash." expand=1]Photo by Joanna Kosinska/Unsplash.

2. It’s also a plant that grows in very specific regions of the world.

Most of the world’s tea grows in mountainous areas, thousands of feet above sea level, in rich but acidic soil, typically with heavy rainfall. Tea plants are especially vulnerable to extended periods of cold temperatures, which is why they do better in climates that are warm year round.

Photo via Upworthy.

Under subtropical or temperate climates — like in Kenya — the higher altitude and humidity contributes to distinct wet and dry seasons. This is key to tea plant survival and also influences the variety of teas found in these types of areas.

As such, countries that produce the most tea include Argentina, China, India, Indonesia, Japan, Kenya, Malawi, Sri Lanka, Tanzania, Taiwan, and Vietnam, all of which have these distinct seasons without getting too cold.

3. Legend has it, though, the first cup of tea was totally an accident.

The earliest accounts we have of drinking tea come from China. Apparently a leaf fell into boiling water that was being prepared for Emperor Shen Nung — and he enjoyed the taste. He didn’t know it then, but he would be the first to enjoy what we now call tea.

[rebelmouse-image 19346984 dam="1" original_size="5524x3683" caption="Photo by Sergei Maslennikov/Unsplash." expand=1]Photo by Sergei Maslennikov/Unsplash.

4. While tea may have originated in China, it quickly spread around the world.

Japanese Buddhist scholars visiting China brought tea seeds with them when they returned home, popularizing tea in Japan. But that was only the beginning.

While we know the Brits today love a good cuppa, it was actually the Portuguese missionaries that brought tea to Europe. The British initially favored coffee, making the switch only when fashionable tea-lover Catherine of Braganza (who hailed from Portugal) became queen upon marrying Charles II.

And while tea surged in popularity worldwide, its identity (and of course, taste) varied from place to place.

5. Many regions of the world have their own unique take on tea.

It’s true that the English are largely responsible for introducing tea to other regions in the world, including Africa and India. But plenty of cultures had their own spin on it, both before and after they arrived.

[rebelmouse-image 19346985 dam="1" original_size="2592x3888" caption="Photo by Julie Johnson/Unsplash." expand=1]Photo by Julie Johnson/Unsplash.

India, for example, specializes in its national drink, chai, which is more of a spiced milk-tea. Meanwhile, Morocco has a mint tea called touareg tea, which is a drink of cultural significance. It symbolizes hospitality and is served three times daily to guests.

You can find unique teas as far as South Africa. Indigenous people there — the Khoisans — have their own tea, too. It’s called rooibos tea, and originated over 300 years ago. It doesn’t derive from the same plant as your typical black or green tea, though; its plant base is unique to that region of the world.

6. Tea is also partly responsible for the United States as we know it.

Tea began making its way to the American colonies as early as 1650, by colonists who needed their fix as they journeyed west. The British then began importing tea to the American colonies starting in 1720 to sell overseas en masse.

Forty years later, they would begin taxing it — creating tension between the colonies and the British government. This led to numerous demonstrations, one of which — the Boston Tea Party — would be a catalyst for the American Revolution.

7. Even today, most tea comes from a farm and has to be hand-picked.

Traditional machinery has been found to be a little too rough, damaging many of the leaves in the harvesting process — so hand-picking is the universally preferred method.

Photo via Upworthy.

Once harvested by farmhands, the leaves are transported to a factory nearby, where they're processed. This involves drying them out, keeping a close eye on them as they react to oxygen in the air, and then sorting them by size and grade.

8. There are some great organizations working to make tea more sustainable.

The Rainforest Alliance and Sustainable Trade Initiative were created to call on businesses to do better and invest in sustainability — not just for the environment, but for the farmers whose health and livelihood could be impacted by pesticide use, water pollution, and more.

In fact, the Rainforest Alliance created its own certification to measure the sustainability of a particular farm’s practices.

Photo via Upworthy.

And that certification isn’t so easy to attain. It includes great attention to energy and water usage, commitment to biodiversity and conservation efforts, and fair and ethical labor practices (including access to safe drinking water, health care, and education). It also requires fully respecting the rights of people indigenous to the land where that tea is grown.

9. Those efforts have caught on — today, some of the most popular tea brands are making a concerted effort to promote sustainability.

10 years ago, Unilever — Lipton’s parent company — became the first major tea company to announce their commitment to sustainable sourcing of tea across their farms. And by the end of 2015, they had kept that promise: 100% of Lipton’s Black and Green tea bags are Rainforest Alliance Certified™.

10. In fact, one of the largest tea estates in Kenya has made incredible strides.

In Kericho, Kenya — Lipton’s largest tea estate and the first to be certified — substantial efforts have been made to improve biodiversity through reforesting, addressing water and energy use, and reducing carbon emissions.

Photo via Upworthy.

In fact, more than 1.3 million trees (yes, million!) have been planted in Kericho in the last eighteen years, ensuring a balanced ecosystem within the farm. Kericho is also making use of hydropower — amazingly, something they’ve done since the 1920s — thanks to a river running through the region.

11. The majority of tea farmers today are smallholder farmers — making tea a family affair.

Smallholder farmers own the plots of land where their crops are grown, and get the majority of their income from working that land. It’s estimated that a whopping 70% of global tea production comes from smallholder farmers in Africa and Asia.

In Kenya, those farmers are responsible for 60% of the tea that’s produced.

That’s why, in 2006, Lipton joined a partnership with the Kenya Tea Development Agency (KTDA) and the Sustainable Trade Initiative, leading to the creation of Farmer Field Schools for locals to increase access to the best resources for farmers.

Photo via Upworthy

At these schools, tea-growers in Kenya can share best agricultural practices, as well as improve the quality of their crops as well as yields. They can also discuss issues around nutrition and health in their communities, as well as the impact of climate change on their work.

12. Making tea farming sustainable can empower women and their families, too.

Many of the farmers that benefit from programs like the Farmer Field Schools are women. In Kenya, for example, there are 42,000 women farmers who have benefited from the Farm Field Schools run by KTDA.

When farmers learn to increase their yields and tea quality, their income is boosted, too. That buying power allows them to improve the health and nutrition of their families, and increases access to education for themselves and their children.

Photo via Upworthy.

13. And that means your humble cup of tea could transform communities thousands of miles away.

Organizations like WE Charity — a non-profit offering resources to communities in need internationally — have been supporting rural communities in Kenya for the last 20 years. WE’s commitment to education, health, clean water, food, and financial programming has been transformative for those communities.

That’s why Lipton recently partnered with WE in an effort to further empower a new demographic of farmers — those that pick our morning cup.

Most notable to come out of Lipton’s partnership with WE are the new opportunities for women harvesting tea.

Photo via Upworthy.

This program will give women farmers the tools to increase their earnings and the guidance to leverage those profits; 80,000 women will receive small business and leadership training.

The result? The ability to purchase more livestock, grow their farms, send their kids to college, and start their own businesses.

So as it turns out, the story behind where your tea came from is a lot more significant than you may’ve realized.

Sometimes it really is the journey — not just the destination — that makes a difference.

Pop Culture

Mom leaves a 'heartbreaking' gift to flight passengers sitting next to her baby

"That's a mom trying so hard."

@callmebelly/TikTok

An excellent reminder to show kindness and patience.

Listening to a baby cry during a flight might be aggravating, but it’s nothing compared to the moans, groans, and eyerolls that the baby's parents must endure from other passengers when it happens. No matter what tips and tricks are used to try to soothe a little one’s temperament while 30,000 miles in the air, crying is almost inevitable. So, while having to ease their own child’s anxiety, moms and dads also must suffer being the pariah of the trip. What a nightmare.

Recently, one mom was apparently trying so hard to avoid upsetting her fellow flight members that she went above and beyond to essentially apologize ahead of time if her baby began to cry on its first flight. It was a gesture that, while thoughtful, had folks really feeling for how stressed that poor mom must be.

In a clip posted to his TikTok, one of the passengers—Elliot—explained that the mom handed out small care packages to those nearby.

“She’s already so busy and took the time to make these bags for everyone,” Elliot said, before panning the camera to reveal a Ziplock bag full of candy, along with a note that made him “want to cry.”

The note read: “It’s my first flight. I made a deal to be on my best behaviour—but I can’t make any guarantees. I might cry if I get scared or if my ears start to hurt. Here are some treats to make your flight enjoyable. Thank you for being patient with us. Have a great flight.”

@callmebelly ♬ BIRDS OF A FEATHER - Billie Eilish

Like Elliot, those who watched the video felt some ambivalence at the well intentioned act. Many felt remorse that she would feel the need to appease people in this way.

“This is so sweet but also … kind of breaks my heart that we live in a world in which parents feel the need to do that.”

“Because jerk people have shamed parents into believing that they need to apologize for their kids' absolutely normal behavior. What a gem of a mom.”

“You know that sweet mom worried about this trip so much.”

“That poor mom probably spent nights awake … nervous about that flight, thinking of ways to keep strangers happy.”

"That's a mom trying so hard."

Many rallied behind the mom, arguing that making others feel more comfortable with her child being on board was in no way her responsibility.

“No mom should be apologizing. Adults can control their emotions … babies not …. Hugging this mom from a distance.”

“Dear new parents: no you don’t have to do this. Your babies have the right to exist. We all know babies cry. We know you try your best.”

Luckily, there are just as many stories of fellow passengers being completely compassionate towards parents with small children—from simply choosing to throw on their headphones during a tantrum (instead of throwing one themselves) to going out of their way to comfort a baby (and taking the load of a parent in the process). These little acts of kindness make more of an impact than we probably realize. Perhaps if we incorporated more of this “it takes a village” mindset, flying could be a little bit more pleasant for everyone involved.

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Animals & Wildlife

London Zoo shows off miraculous baby pictures from 6 endangered species

They called the 'baby boom' a huge win in the fight against extinction.

London Zoo

Golden lion tamarin primates

Yes, we’re entering the age of the baby boom. No, not our beloved home-owning generation that remembers listening to music on vinyl records and watching the first episode of “Saturday Night Live” ever aired. No, this time, there’s a new baby boom at the London Zoo. It’s a heartwarming moment for the world’s oldest scientific zoo (which opened in 1828) because six tiny, pint-sized additions were recently born there.

Sign of London Zoo's entrance London Zoo! Photo credit: Canva

If you visit the London Zoo, you’ll see that many animals are part of its conservation breeding programs. This means that they participate in a unique initiative to save their species, hoping to return them to the wild someday. And there’s more good news: London Zoo conservationists have already successfully bred and reintroduced various species back into the wild, such as the Partula Snail, Northern Bald Ibis, Fen Raft Spider, and many others.

So, while very cute, the zoo’s latest additions also play an essential part in each species’ survival and the zoo’s overall conservation efforts. Many of the newly born species are at high risk of extinction because they can no longer survive in their natural habitats due to deforestation, habitat loss, and climate change. Thus, their captive breeding becomes a vital “safety net.” For example, Darwin’s Frogs, one of the many endangered species at the London Zoo, are safe in their Regent’s Park digs from chytrid fungus. This deadly fungal disease is responsible for decimating amphibian populations worldwide.

These births also provide a safe opportunity to study animal behavior, reproduction, and health in controlled environments—insights that can be applied to conservation strategies worldwide.

But what are these elusive endangered species? And are they really that cute? Let’s dive in.

Two twin Golden lion tamarin primates

Say hello to London Zoo’s newest Golden Lion Tamarin twins, Pomelo (male) and Clementine (female). Born last spring, they joined their older brother, Kumquat, with all three primates named after citrus fruits, an ode to their distinct, vibrantly orange fur.) Golden lion tamarins, or Leontopithecus rosalia, are native to Brazil but, unfortunately, face severe survival threats due to habitat loss and the illegal pet trade. In the 1970s, it’s estimated that their wild population dropped to as few as a record-dropping 200, but has since improved.

Rainforest image from London Zoo The rainforest habitat that Clementine and Pomelo reside inPhoto credit: Canva

Both parents love and care for Clementine and Pomelo, who are safe at their home at the London Zoo. As is typical for the species, their father, Fabio, takes care of the little ones most of the time and periodically passes them to their mother for feeding, one at a time.

Fia, the White-faced saki monkey

Alongside the tamarins, a ten-month-old white-faced named Fia has also joined the rainforest habitat.

Fia joins her mother, Kaituma, her father, Milagre, and her older sister, Maya. In 2023, the small family moved to the London Zoo from Whipsnade Zoo in Bedfordshire, England.

Fia, wrapped up in her mother's warmthLondon Zoo

Fia and her family live in the zoo’s “Rainforest Life,” a high-profile exhibit that educates visitors about rainforest ecosystems and the importance of preserving biodiversity. White-faced sakis, or pithecia pithecia, are found in the rainforests of northern South America, including Brazil, Guyana, and Venezuela. They live almost completely in the trees and almost never come down. They are named for the male’s appearance, which is black, except for the head, which is white or reddish. Females, meanwhile, are primarily brown or brown-gray.

Two Asian short-clawed otter pups

Then, there are the two Asian short-clawed otter pups. Born in January, they are too young to be named, and their genders have yet to be determined. Their mother, Midge (who joined London Zoo from Newquay Zoo in 2024), has been dutifully nursing the pups in their nesting area alongside their father, Siyam.

Also known as Aonyx cinereus, Asian short-clawed otters (or Asian small-clawed otters) are the world’s smallest otters, ranging from just 4 to 11 pounds. Its short dark brown hair is relatively short, and the whiskers it sports help detect changes in water current and pressure.

This shallow-water otter lives in freshwater wetlands, mangrove swamps, and fast-flowing, rocky streams throughout southern India, southern China, and parts of Southeast Asia. However, human development and pollution are destroying the wetlands where they live.

Alaotran gentle lemur

Last is London Zoo’s two-month-old Alaotran gentle lemur, who was born to parents Hazo and Rocky. Unnamed so far, the baby lemur has already begun to explore its outdoor environment, nibbling leafy greens alongside its mother and jimping around.

With fewer than 5,000 lemurs remaining, the Alaotran gentle lemur, or Hapalemur alaotrensis, is considered critically endangered. This species is endemic to the papyrus marshes surrounding Madagascar’s largest lake, Lake Alaotra, and is the only primate that lives exclusively in wetland environments. Their marshes face severe threats from habitat destruction due to illegal burning for rice farming and invasive species in Madagascar.

These six births extend far beyond a high-profile attraction for the London Zoo: they are significant steps in safeguarding species on the brink of extinction while teaching the public more about the importance of habitat preservation and biodiversity conservation.

Plus, they’re pretty darn cute, aren’t they?

Excited Anna Kendrick GIFGiphy

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Parenting

Yet another school district shifts to 4-day week and parents are sounding off

So... when are we getting the matching 4-day work week?

Unsplash

When talking with other parents I know, it's hard not to sound like a grumpy old man when we get around to discussing school schedules. "Am I the only one who feels like kids have so many days off? I never got that many days off when I was a kid! And I had to go work in the coal mine after, too!" I know what I sound like, but I just can't help it.

In Georgia, where I live, we have a shorter summer break than some other parts of the country. But my kids have the entire week of Thanksgiving off, a week in September, two whole weeks at Christmas, a whole week off in February, and a weeklong spring break. They have asynchronous days (during which they complete assignments at home, which usually takes about 30 minutes) about once a month, and they have two or three half-day weeks throughout the year. Quite honestly, it feels like they're never in school for very long before they get another break, which makes it tough to get in a rhythm with work and career goals. Plus, we're constantly arranging day camps and other childcare options for all the time off. Actually, I just looked it up and I'm not losing my mind: American kids have fewer school days than most other major countries.

So it caught my attention in a major way when I read that Whitney Independent School District in Texas recently decided to enact a 4-day week heading into the 2025 school year. That makes it one of dozens of school districts in Texas to make the change and over 900 nationally.

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The thought of having the kids home from school EVERY Friday or Monday makes me want to break out in stress hives. But this 4-day school week movement isn't designed to give parents a headache. It's meant to lure teachers back to work.

Yes, teachers are leaving the profession in droves and young graduates don't seem eager to replace them. Why? The pay is bad, for starters, but that's just the beginning. Teachers are burnt out, undermined and criticized relentlessly, held hostage by standardized testing, and more. It can be a grueling, demoralizing, and thankless job. The love and passion they have for shaping the youth of tomorrow can only take you so far when you feel like you're constantly getting the short end of the stick.

School districts want to pay their teachers more, in theory, but their hands are often tied. So they're getting creative to recruit the next generation of teachers into their schools — starting with an extra day off for planning, catch-up, or family time every week.

Teachers in 4-day districts often love the new schedule. Kids love it (obviously). It's the parents who, as a whole, aren't super thrilled.

Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

So far, the data shows that the truncated schedule perk is working. In these districts, job applications for teachers are up, retirements are down, and teachers are reporting better mental well-being. That's great news!

But these positive developments may be coming at the price of the working parents in the communities. Most early adopters of the 4-day week have been rural communities with a high prevalence of stay-at-home parents. As the idea starts to take hold in other parts of the country, it's getting more pushback. Discussions on Reddit, Facebook, and other social media are overrun with debate on how this is all going to shake up. Some parents, to be fair, like the idea! If they stay-at-home or have a lot of flexibility, they see it as an opportunity for more family time. But many are feeling anxious. Here's what's got those parents worried:

The effect on students' achievement is still unclear.

The execution of the 4-day week varies from district to district. Some schools extend the length of each of the four days, making the total instructional time the same. That makes for a really long day, and some teachers say the students are tired and more unruly by the late afternoon. Some districts are just going with less instruction time overall, which has parents concerned that their kids might fall behind.

4-day school weeks put parents in a childcare bind.

Having two working parents is becoming more common and necessary with the high cost of living. I know, I know — "school isn't daycare!" But it is the safe, reliable, and educational place we send our kids while we need to work.

Families with money and resources may be able to enroll their kids in more academics, extracurriculars, sports, or childcare, but a lot of normal families won't be able to afford that cost. Some schools running a 4-day week offer a paid childcare option for the day off, but that's an added expense and for families with multiple kids in the school system, it's just not possible.

This will inevitably end with some kids getting way more screentime.

With most parents still working 5-day weeks, and the cost of extra activities or childcare too high, a lot of kids are going to end up sitting around on the couch with their iPad on those days off. I'm no expert, and I'm certainly not against screentime, but adding another several hours of it to a child's week seems less than ideal.

Of course there are other options other than paid childcare and iPads. There are play dates, there's getting help from family and friends. All of these options are an enormous amount of work to arrange for parents who are already at capacity.

Working 4 days is definitely a win for teachers that makes the job more appealing. But it doesn't address the systemic issues that are driving them to quit, retire early, or give up their dreams of teaching all together.

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A Commissioner of Education from Missouri calls truncated schedules a "band-aid solution with diminishing returns." Having an extra planning day won't stop teachers from getting scapegoated by politicians or held to impossible curriculum standards, it won't keep them from having to buy their own supplies or deal with ever-worsening student behavior.

Some teachers and other experts have suggested having a modified 5-day school week, where one of the days gets set aside as a teacher planning day while students are still on-site participating in clubs, music, art — you know, all the stuff that's been getting cut in recent years. Something like that could work in some places.

As a dad, I don't mind the idea of my busy kids having an extra day off to unwind, pursue hobbies, see friends, catch up on projects, or spend time as a family. And I'm also very much in favor of anything that takes pressure off of overworked teachers. But until we adopt a 4-day work week as the standard, the 4-day school week is always going to feel a little out of place.

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Education

5 lessons we can take away from the Delta flight that crashed upside down on the runway

1) Always obey seat belt instructions.

Photo credit: YYZBrennan

A Delta flight from Minneapolis flipped over and caught fire upon landing in Toronto.

Flying has often been touted as one of the safest modes of transportation, but after a rash of aviation accidents in February of 2025, people are starting to have questions. What the heck is happening in the friendly skies? Why is there a sudden uptick in plane crashes? Is flying still safe?

One of the weirdest aviation incidents we've seen is the Delta flight that flipped upside down upon landing in Toronto on February 17, knocking off a wing and catching fire as it skidded to a stop on the tarmac. The 76 passengers on the commuter plane found themselves hanging upside down in the cabin as flight attendants raced to get everyone out of the plan quickly and safely. Miraculously, no one was killed, and though 21 injured passengers were initially transported to the hospital, 19 have been released as of February 19.

— (@)

The thought of having your airplane do a 180-degree roll on the runway and having to exit a burning aircraft from a bat-like position is sheer nightmare fuel, but there are some important lessons we can all learn from how this incident played out.

1. Always obey seat belt instructions—"low and tight across your lap"

If you fly with any regularity at all, chances are you zone out during the pre-takeoff safety instructions, but this accident definitely has us all at least thinking about our seat belt compliance. Imagine how easy it would be to slip out of the seat belt hanging upside down if it weren't buckled low and tight.

There's a reason the seat belt sign exists. If footage of extreme turbulence isn't enough to rattle you into always staying buckled when the light is on, this crash likely will.

2. Respect your flight attendants

— (@)

Flight attendants sometimes have to deal with difficult or rude passengers, which is unfortunate, especially since those same passengers rely on flight attendants to do their jobs in an emergency to ensure their safety. Flight attendants don't get to freak out when a plane crashes—they have to tap right into their emergency evacuation training.

But in this case, there was no specific training for this specific scenario because who would imagine it ever happening? But those flight attendants were able to improvise and get the passengers on board out of their upside down positions, out the exits and onto the tarmac within seconds of the crash happening. This is a good reminder that even though flying is usually smooth and without incident, flight attendants are primarily there for our safety, not servers there at our beck and call.

3. Regulations in aircraft design help keep us safe

One of the reasons this crash went the way it did is because of the way the plane was designed and made. From the way the wing broke off without tearing apart the fuselage (the body of the plane) to the way the seats remained in tact and firmly planted despite being upside down with people in them, the aviation engineers behind the building of this aircraft—as well as the regulations in place that require more safety features—deserve some kudos.

“Everything that could go wrong went wrong, yet 80 people survived the accident,” said David Soucie, a CNN safety analyst and former FAA safety inspector who credited better plane design, improved safety and stronger, more secure seats for the survival rate.

"Even the design of the seat back or the tray table is all part of how we consider making that survivable space," Graham Braithwaite, professor of safety and accident investigation at the UK's Cranfield University, told the BBC. "And the seatbelt that people have is so important - that is the ultimate thing that stops people being thrown around the cabin like this."

4. People are pretty awesome, actually

Reports from people who were on the flight indicate that the passengers helped one another out and were generally awesome in an incredibly harrowing situation.

One man shared that he and the woman sitting next to him, who hadn't spoken to each other the entire flight, gave one another a long hug after getting out of their seats. "It was nice to see people working together, as in like no one held anyone back from getting off the plane or getting out of their seat, or whatever," he said. "No one was like, 'I need to be first!'"

— (@)

Working together with the crew to evacuate smoothly may have saved lives, as he reported there was an explosion a few minutes after everyone got off the plane. Phew.

"The most powerful part of today was, there was just people. No countries, no nothing," another passenger said. "There was just people together helping each other." Beautiful.

5. Flying is still dramatically safer than driving

Even with the wave of plane incidents we've seen included, flying is still statistically safer than driving in a car. People are understandably nervous about flying right now, but that's the impact of mass media coverage. If we saw news stories and headlines about every car accident in the country every day, we'd be freaking out about driving cars, but we don't see those. Accidents happen in aviation, but usually only the major commercial plane incidents make national or international news.

If we look just as the numbers, January of 2025 was actually a record low month of airplane accidents nationwide. Not to downplay what's been happening in February, but we've really become accustomed to extreme safety when it comes to flying. The past 15 years have seen the lowest airplane fatalities than any other 15-year period ever, so we should probably wait to freak out too much over the seemingly anomalous accident rate of the past two weeks.

At least that's what I'm telling myself before I hop on my next flight.

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Parenting

Study reveals parents who 'gentle parent' may have higher stress levels than those who don't

An eye opening study shares why.

Photo credit: Canva

Gentle parenting may create more stress than traditional parenting

Gentle parenting continues to be the most talked about new way to parent children. It focuses on recognizing and validating the child's emotional response rather than a form of punishment. The idea is to honor the child's autonomy and respect as a new human in this world while teaching them emotional regulation to better help them navigate life. It's a beautiful theory in the abstract but in practice, the parenting technique isn't as easy as social media makes you believe it is.

Many parents are now reporting struggling with gentle parenting and a recent study gives a surprising answer as to why that might be. When a person is using gentle parenting, they also have to be in charge of regulating their own emotions since you can't help a child regulate theirs if you're not calm. This step can be a bit of a stumbling block for some parents, especially when a behavior continues to occur and frustration sets in.

Parents who use a more traditional parenting approach don't appear to have the same level of stress as those who use gentle parenting. Surprisingly, the stress difference isn't due to lack of boundaries which a lot of people associate with gentle parenting. The increased level of stress for those who gentle parent is actually because there's no definition for gentle parenting according to the study.

Fun Kids GIF by Bed Bath & BeyondGiphy

Essentially, gentle parenting isn't real. There's no group of parenting experts and psychologists that have sat around and laid out the parameters of gentle parenting. It's a term coined by author Sarah Ockwell-Smith though she doesn't take credit for the parenting style she wrote a book titled, "The Gentle Parenting Book: How to raise calmer, happier children from birth to seven." While the book is her version of a "how to guide," there's no real definition of what gentle parenting is or what it entails.

Many parents who claim to use gentle parenting don't associate the style of parenting to the author, it's a term that sort of went viral and caught on. This is leaving new parents struggling to know what gentle parenting is and if they're doing it correctly, adding to their stress.

Parenting Go Get It GIF by Back to the Future TrilogyGiphy

The study by Anne E. Pezalla and Alice J. Davidson observes, "Gentle parenting appears to be distinct from other established measures of parenting approaches in its emphasis on boundaries, yet the enactment of those boundaries is not uniform," before later adding, "a subset of gentle parents who were highly critical of themselves reported significantly lower levels of efficacy than the rest of the sample."

This doesn't mean everyone was dissatisfied with their journey into gentle parenting, on the contrary. Most participants were happy with chossing gentle parenting but the level of stress related to questioning if they were doing it right varied. It's the ones who were critical of their own parenting that seem to struggle the most.

Meaghan Rath Comedy GIF by Children Ruin EverythingGiphy

Pezalla and Davidson highlight, "What seems to be unique about the gentle parenting movement is that it has not been presented or advocated by scholars of human development; rather, it has largely been the product of social media. Considering that parents are increasingly stressed or burned out by their caregiving responsibilities it is imperative that evidence-based guidance is made available to those who are interested in gentle parenting."

There has been a movement away from gentle parenting for some on social media, which may in part be due to the murkiness around what gentle parenting is. But gentle parenting isn't the only way to parent that focuses on teaching emotional regulation and respecting the child's autonomy. Parenting styles have been around for generations and "traditional parenting" has sort of become a catch all for anything not called gentle parenting.

The more traditional parenting styles include authoritarian, authoritative and permissive. Authoritarian parenting tends to be high discipline with little regard for the child's feelings. Permissive parenting is focused on the child's happiness with very few or no boundaries. Authoritative parenting focuses more on warmth towards the child with reasonable boundaries and consequences.

It would seem that gentle parenting takes a page from Dr. John Gottman by using emotional coaching in the parenting approach while adding things from positive parenting and conscious parenting along with what they are seeing online portrayed as gentle parenting. Since there's no evidence-based information around gentle parenting, parents practicing it may continue to feel additional stress versus those who are using more evidenced based approaches like authoritative parenting.

No matter what parenting style you have, raising a child isn't easy so if one parenting style isn't working for you, there are plenty others out there.

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